Bonus Episode| Tales of California Love

Intro: Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue Let me Interview you Bonus episode.

In Queue Today: Hi Why and Tales of… 
Happy 2024! Happy New Year! I will return in February. In the mean time in between time let me talk about This bonus episode. I interviewed my sis Tam. She is a natural on the mike. I talk about her being a boy mom, wife, content creator and a former vegan. You know I talked about Hoodoo. I even answered her questions she had about it. 

If you want to follow my sis her @tamaramichelleh on IG, Tik Tok, and YouTube 

PS the cover photo is on visitcalifornia IG. The photographer is Athena Pilato. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hey, hi, it's me Mama Q.

Speaker 1: 0:31

I welcome you to Moments in Q. Let me interview you. Bonus episode in Q Today how I and Tales of how I. I give you the greeting of the day and I'm explaining the why of this episode. Happy Deuce, several Deuce quad Happy 2024. A friendly reminder I will return in February. In the meantime, in between time, let me talk about this bonus episode. I interviewed my sister Tam. She's a natural on the mic. I talk about her being a boy, mom, a wife, a content creator and a former vegan. You know I talked about who do as well. I even answered her questions she had about it.

Speaker 1: 1:27

Tales of these interviews, first and foremost, are for our ancestors and descendants. I want to honor the ancestors and the spiritual practice of who do by talking about our ancestors by their name and explaining what this practice means to us. Then I want the descendants to learn more about their family members in hopes of learning something new about our family to share with future descendants. In short, a time capsule, if you will, for all to hear. Besides, people per go when you talk about them, so that's a bonus too.

Speaker 1: 1:57

Today's episode is brought to you by this quote. Every time I speak. I want the truth to come out Every time I speak. I want a shiver by Tupac Shakur. Hey, hi, it's me, mama Q. All right, I have my sister here, tam Want to say hey to the people? Hey, yeah. So my sister is here and we're going to interview. So I'm super excited. You ready, ready, all right. So I have two warmer questions I ask everybody. There's no right or wrong answer to it, so we're just going to go with it, all right. What is who do to you when you hear that word?

Speaker 2: 2:43

OK. So first, I never heard Well, I never. Every time I hear, who do I think voodoo? I think everybody thinks the same thing. They don't know, you know. Yeah, yeah, I usually think like I don't think, like maybe it's, I think it's me, I think it's just in relation to voodoo. Ok, so I would think like maybe you know, you know how people are scared of voodoo, you know, when you told me what it was, I just complete you know it's not the same. And I was like, ok, you know, it's good to be educated on that. So, yeah, I never really knew what it was at all.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Yeah, I'm sure they learned it. Then a lot of people think it's voodoo and it's no big deal. They're. They're similar as far as the words, but, as I told people before, for the most part voodoo is pronounced voodoo, which is. It's fine if you don't put the accent on or what not, but it's a religion. And whereas some people think that who do is a religion, some people do. I don't. I just view it as a spirituality and its ancestral veneration, whereas when people do practice voodoo, that that involves different deities called lullas, and that's about all that I know, because I don't practice it.

Speaker 1: 3:52

So no biggie, but a lot of people think that that's what it is, so it's all good. Yeah, all right. The next question is name a moment where you can make this ish up when it comes to your spirituality or religion, where to you there was no denying of a God, a higher power, whatever words you want to use. So what I mean by that if that doesn't make that much sense is that on this path of who do for me, and whether you're a Christian or not, that part doesn't matter, so you can say God, jesus, whomever, it's no biggie to me, but with me, with who do on this path, there's just been things that I'm just like you cannot make this ish up. So, for example, yesterday a thought came into my head to check the mailbox and I didn't get a chance to do it, no big deal, ok.

Speaker 1: 4:35

So my boo thing, love of my Mike Fox, try life. And I went to the grocery store and when we came back I said, hey, can you check the mailbox? So we drove by the mailbox and all our mailboxes are fucked up, ok, like. But the one next to mine is on the ground and mine is just yeah, and mine is just chilling right there with the other mailboxes on the other side of it, leaning to the left, and so for me it was one of those. You can't make this ish up because it's like all of the other mailboxes are out of whack or destroyed on the ground, literally in my understanding. So hopefully they helped you, so did they help.

Speaker 2: 5:14

So basically what is? Can you ask a question?

Speaker 1: 5:17

Oh OK, no problem, maybe OK, so name a moment where you can't make this ish up when it comes to your spirituality or religion, where, to you, there was no denying of a God higher power whichever word you want to use exists.

Speaker 2: 5:30

I don't know. I guess would like, everything happens for a reason. Yeah, yeah, I, I definitely believe in that. As far as you know, everything happens for a reason. Manifesting things, yeah, especially manifesting things, aspen's like by the all the time just manifesting things, just everything that we manifest, I mean, if you really believe it, it's happening. You know what I mean, you can actually live it and I just feel like with that, just even with my moves, with us moving, we manifest it every time, even what we want to do, yeah, you to different things, and you know that my husband wants to do you know, manifest it, and it's been.

Speaker 2: 6:09

you know it works. So, yeah, I feel like that that's yeah pretty much.

Speaker 1: 6:13

Yeah, you know that answers it because you know, with the whole manifestation thing which, yeah, we'll talk about that probably a little bit more. Yeah, so you grew up on the west side of the United States, cali. So I know I had talked this to your mom before but I never got a chance to ask you. So, growing up in California, did you learn or know about any type of things dealing with who do or who do or whatnot? Like you know, don't eat everybody's spaghetti, or you know, don't allow anybody to sweep your feet. Did your mom or any of your family members or just anybody? Yeah, not at all.

Speaker 2: 6:53

It's when I moved to Tennessee. That's when I heard the don't sweep your feet. Yeah, like just so many different. You know it's completely different when you're from. You know, when you live in the West Coast and then you live, you know, in the South it's completely different. Even you know my husband is from the South. You know, he's from the South, yeah, and I've been.

Speaker 2: 7:12

You know different places as well, yeah, and just us comparing, like our upbringing and different things, it's like you know, wow you know, just like, if there is a difference, like we're all black, so we're connected in a way, but it's still, you know, different. So I've never heard sweep under your feet, I've never heard the spaghetti one either. What is it again?

Speaker 1: 7:29

Okay, so all right. So first of all, my granny my granny, she talked about it. So growing up she had said for you can't eat everybody's spaghetti, and so like, supposedly because the spaghetti sauce is red, a person who ministrates could put their ministration in there and then their lover eats it. Oh yeah, they can have control over it. Oh, wow, yeah. And so like. I'm sure you heard of some of Project Pet's songs, so like, and one of his songs he was like voodoo spaghetti or something. I had talked about it on one of my episodes. It's not a big deal or whatever, but like just little things like that. And then sweeping of the feet is like you sweep over somebody's protection so people will spit on it and stuff. Just so like, ok, no, you can't take away my protection or my blessings and stuff like that. So yeah, and so when I had told your mom that I practice who do? Yeah, she had. I think she said she had heard of some of the things because of her parents or maybe grandparents would have you.

Speaker 2: 8:36

OK, we're from the south.

Speaker 1: 8:38

Oh, ok, so, yeah, so she had heard of it or whatever. And so even talking to my boo thing, love of my life, born and raised in Memphis, tennessee, and he had heard of it and I just assumed that, especially for a subna, that we had heard these things. But I'm starting to learn like no, no, and it's all good.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Who do came from when the enslaved Africans were forced to come over to America, some of them brought their religion with them, which is where a voodoo comes from, and also some of them mixed some of their religion I hope I'm not Miss, miss, not Miss pronunciation, but Miss speaking on it but they, they use, some of they use the Bible. Some of them use the Bible because that was all that some of them were able to read and they use that to come back against dealing with massive and stuff. And so, because my assumption is because most of the enslaved Africans were in the South, because that's all there was, I guess, quote unquote around during that time then most of the who do came from southerners and then when everybody migrated, whether they migrated to Shaitan or if they migrated to Cali, you know they may or may not have brought some of that stuff, but yeah, it's all good, I just find it interesting.

Speaker 2: 9:56

I like it, that is.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Yeah, ok, so I know I'm asking questions about you and your background with spirituality, if any, but do you have any questions about some of the spiritual things I do, such as Reiki? Who do anything like that?

Speaker 2: 10:12

Yeah, so what made you get into? You know who do and everything. That's a good question, ok, because I know you know before I never heard you talk about it.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Yeah, ok, so how did I? All right? So I was always curious about it. And then do you remember the movie Skellington Key? I can't remember from off the top of my head who was in Skellington Key, but Skellington Key, that movie I won't say early 2000s, I can't remember, but the movie Skellington Key had talked about the difference between who do and who do and it kind of like. I was like huh, I wonder what it is. And then I read about it and just dismissed it.

Speaker 1: 10:52

And then, when I finally was done with Christianity, what happened was my meeting me was born. When she was born, obviously months later, her paternal side they were Catholics, so she was baptized, and so I'm not very familiar with Catholicism. But the next step, I forgot what was the next step for her. So we went to our local Catholic church, or whatever they call it, and the father whatever his title would be cared more about the fact that if I was married to her father, then caring about her soul, and that really pissed me off. So I started to break away from it.

Speaker 1: 11:34

And then, during COVID, some way, somehow and this is the part that I can't think of the exact moment, but some way somehow a friend of mine had sent me a book. No, sent me to this website called House of Houdou. They are in New Orleans and so when I went on their website, they had this book called 365 Days of Houdou. So I was like huh. So I read that and, ironically, the person who wrote it obviously some years before me, but the author, stephanie Bird, had graduated from the same college as me. And that was like a what, maybe this is meant to be or whatever like that. And so I just started reading about it. And so I started reading and learning about it. I realized that I had been practicing Houdou my entire life. My ex at the time that fucker, he that fucker, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 12:28

He had lost both of his parents at a young age and, as I was growing up with my maternal side, we had no problems talking about spirituality without linking it to Houdou. You know, we would talk about oh, I had a dream about fishes or something that means somebody prayed. Oh, I had a dream that a neighbor across the street was talking to me, but he's dead. So that scared me, just all this stuff. So it was just normal to me and when I was with my ex, I had asked him like, hey, you know, your parents had passed at a young age.

Speaker 1: 12:58

Do they visit you in your dreams? He was like no, and that's when and that is so crazy, cause, again, that was like 2019, 2020, when I learned like, oh, not everybody experienced this and stuff like that, so it's just started connecting to me. So I can't like pinpoint the exact date and time that I started this, but I just know that, like, once I started learning about it, it just made me feel like yo, this is where I belong. And for me, and only me, it felt more of where I belong in comparison to Christianity, cause when I was practicing Christianity, I really didn't feel like I belonged, but you know, yeah, yeah, you definitely have to.

Speaker 2: 13:36

You know, go with what you feel you know is right, that's, you know what you feel comfortable with.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Yeah, you know what I mean. Okay, sorry about that, I had forgotten. My speaker was plugged up so I was telling you how, for me, christianity just didn't sit well with me and I interrupted your train of thought. But you can go back. Sorry about that?

Speaker 2: 13:57

No, that's okay. No, but as far as that, yeah, like I was saying, I feel like you know. Whatever's for you, it's going to be for you. You know, I feel like if something is calling you you know higher power or anything I feel like you should go with that. If you have bad experiences in Christianity which a lot of people do, you know either, you know, but yeah, I feel like you know. Even if you do, you know worship. I mean believe in Christianity. I feel like you can worship, you know your higher power at home or wherever. You don't have to go to church, you don't have to give money, you don't have to. You know, I feel like you know. Of course, church is a business. So, yeah, yeah, but yeah, so I feel like yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:46

Yeah, that makes sense. It works for you. Yeah, because I've said before on the podcast that a person can be a Christian and practice Hulu. My ancestors are okay with me not putting Christianity within my Hulu practice, and what I mean by that is, like some people, they will use different verses within Psalms to talk, which is fine, but it's not a requirement for them. So that's what I mean. So, but yeah, I like your answer because all my good yeah, no judgment.

Speaker 2: 15:22

I hate the judgment Like no yeah, good, good, I've never been that type of person to you know. Judge people on, you know what they believe is not as yeah, I appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 15:32

Yeah, yeah, cause who we? At least on my maternal side, some of them. Oh my gosh, my uncle. All he cared about was, did I believe in God or not? And that's like everybody's big thing and it's like, yeah, I do believe in God. People who practice Hinduism believe in God. That doesn't mean yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:53

Yeah, they don't mean we're talking about the same quote, unquote, god per se. And then when I this past weekend, when we were over our dad's house, yeah, surprisingly our cousin I was explaining who do? I can't remember if you were still out there in a patio and the oldest, the eldest cousin, surprisingly she didn't have anything to say about it. So that made me happy that so far, at least on our paternal side, nobody's judging.

Speaker 1: 16:22

I really like to be around people who aren't judging, because it's like I'm not. I do talk some mess about Christianity, but that's just because some of them say what I do is demonic and we're doing similar things. But aside from that, I personally, again, don't care how people practice, as long as they're not like, as long as they're not harming me or any other person, obviously. But Christianity, hinduism, everything in between practice, believe nothing at all. Fine with me. Right, exactly.

Speaker 2: 16:53

We all believe in the same thing, the world wouldn't be as divertient. Yeah, exactly, see you get it.

Speaker 1: 16:59

Yeah, yeah, okay. So we're gonna now, we're gonna switch gears a little bit and we're gonna talk about you in your hobby, okay? So first question is how did you and your husband meet?

Speaker 2: 17:12

Well, okay, so we actually took a college course together. We went to a local community college here together and we were in the same class I think it was for English or something. I think it was English and I always thought he was cute and I was like, oh, he's cute. He was always goofy and silly or whatever. So I'm like he's cute, we never. We used to say hi and everything, but it was nothing like that. So later, after we were done with that class, I ended up going to the Plush Club your Plush.

Speaker 1: 17:44

Club.

Speaker 2: 17:46

Oh, yes, I know the Plush Club. So we went there and I was there with my friend my two, you know.

Speaker 2: 17:54

Yeah, you two besties, yeah, yeah and we went and I saw him in the crowd with his friend and I was like it's. And I told my friend I was like that's, you know, that's the guy from my class I told you about, or whatever. And she was like oh, okay. And she was like whatever girl, she was drinking up, so I'm gonna say hi. So I went over there and say hi and he hugged me. He's drawn. So he hugged me and everything and he asked for my number and the rest is history. Oh, wow. So yeah, ever since then. So yeah, been rocking since whew, what year.

Speaker 1: 18:30

Yeah, yeah, because let's see y'all celebrating y'all 11 years anniversary, whoop, whoop. So that should we're in 23. So that should mean 20. Wait, 2002? No, Wait, 11 years I graduated high school in 2005. Oh shoot. Oh my goodness, my math sucks. I mean it's 12. Dynish, wait, hold up 11 years. Wait. I got a. Oh my gosh, I feel embarrassed. We're in 2023 minus 11. 2012.

Speaker 1: 19:04

Ok, my bad I don't know why I said 2002. I am really like stuck. I'm a decade behind. Ok, so, all right. So that's when y'all got. So y'all got together 2009. And then you got married in 2011. 2012., 12. Oh, and just right there on my phone 2012. Ok, ok. So for some people I know, to me that's a long time.

Speaker 2: 19:28

For real.

Speaker 1: 19:29

For real because it's more than a decade. So do you have any advice you want to give to people about married life? Oh, and one more thing. So in 2009, how old were you? Hold on 2012. I was 29. And I think I'm five years older than you 2000.

Speaker 2: 19:45

No, I was in 24 when I had him. I was 22.

Speaker 1: 19:48

OK, ok, so, wow, so y'all were with y'all sales with the 20s or whatever. So, ok, really, wow, ok, so, yeah, yeah. So do you have any advice out there, especially for people who get married quote unquote early in their 20s and or people like just making it over a decade, because to me that's something to be proud of?

Speaker 2: 20:11

Yes, I feel like communication. For sure. We talk about everything. He's literally my best friend. So everything, everything, even stuff you don't want to hear about, you're going to hear about it, and I definitely think a huge one is you actually have to like your partner. Like a lot of people say oh, I love you. I love you. Love you is great, but you have to like that person or you're not going to want to be around that person.

Speaker 2: 20:39

Me and my husband we spend. We make sure we have a day Every week. I'm off on a certain day and he makes sure he's off on that day because we don't really have much help with the kids. So we make sure that that day is our day. We go have coffee, we go proper for our laptops together and do something productive, we work out together. We know just things like that. But I feel like you definitely have to like your partner, that nobody really says that they're like oh, you got to love him. Make sure you love him. If you love him, stay with him. Like you have to like your partner and we like each other a lot.

Speaker 1: 21:16

I'm realizing that with my boo thing is that we can be around each other all the time not doing anything. Yeah, and when I was with my ex and I know I'm not supposed to compare, but what I'm quote, unquote, yeah, and what I'm quote, unquote, comparing is like because those were unhealthy relationships and this one is a healthy relationship. So I'm just like I guess that's just the way my brain is wired to quote, unquote, compare and be like how in the world did you not see these signs that y'all shouldn't have been together? And I know that that's what does they say? Hindsight is 20, 20 or something like that, blah, blah.

Speaker 1: 21:55

And so when I was with my ex, I would always require us to have I'm an introvert, so I would always want to have introvert time. 30 minutes, leave me the fuck alone, whatever, whatever. I believe that my boo thing is an introvert, so it kind of works for us. But I really, really enjoy being around him. Like he drives me bananas because he's petty, which is fine, but drives me bananas where he's like OK, boo thing, because we call each other boo thing.

Speaker 1: 22:28

I'm about to go poop or, as he said, I'm about to go drop the kids off, and I'm like and he's like do you want to hold my hand? No, I don't want to fucking hold your hand. But as gross as that is, I think that goes with what you said with being close to each other and wanting to be around each other. Yeah, you get grossed out by it. But I mean, if you're in a marriage, you're going to have those moments where, like, y'all are doing all these quote unquote gross things together passing gas, diarrhea, throwing up from drinking too much, like all of that stuff. So yeah, it's true?

Speaker 2: 23:05

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1: 23:07

So I remember you had said earlier that well, not during this interview, but like sometimes we've talked about your hubby and you had said he's an introvert and I think you're an extrovert.

Speaker 2: 23:23

Are you Somewhat? Yeah, I get introvert moments, but yeah, I could say I'm more.

Speaker 1: 23:31

So I know you just kind of spoke on it a little bit on how, like y'all said, aside from time y'all still talk and stuff like that. But I sometimes wonder how does that work? Because I know there's different levels to people being introverts and extroverts. But I guess if he's an introvert, where he sometimes likes to be by himself, and if you're an extrovert, where you like to talk and stuff like that, how does that work for y'all?

Speaker 2: 23:57

I think we kind of both read each other a little bit with him. I respect what he wants to do. Sometimes he'll just go off, he'll go in the patio and just sit out there. He'll read or he'll listen to music, and I just let him. I'm not going to be like, oh, I see you out here, what are you doing? Let's do something. Actually, it doesn't bother me at all because I just go do what I do. I'm not like a super talker and with him I guess some people are more introverted around certain people too, when they're not in a comfortable environment and it's like yeah, but as far as that, most of the time, I mean, he opens up to me, probably the most, of course. So we talk a lot. So he doesn't seem like he's usually introverted around me where it's like, ok, that's enough. But he'll have his moments in time where he's like, yeah, I feel like he has become more introverted just since the military.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Oh, ok. Yes, Look at you. All of this stuff. We are going in a nice like what's the word segue? Ok, so he was from the military and you were his spouse. How was military spouse life like? Oh it?

Speaker 2: 25:09

was amazing, I feel like when we were living the military life it brought us closer as a family. So that was before my youngest was born. So it was just me, my oldest and him and Alaska yeah, our way. So I feel like we got closer together. That was the first Thanksgiving we spent together. We actually did everything. We cooked everything. He did turkey. It brought us closer together as far as just doing certain things. We go outside together. We would just. It was just us. So I feel like when that happens, things like that, you get isolated with that person. That's how you really find them. You like somebody.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yes, yes, absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:53

So it worked out really great and I feel like that's a big part of our life as far as experiencing that. At the time you get tired of the cold, the snow and it's like a family release. You get a dirt depression period. But when you think back on it or when we think back on it I'll speak on myself. When I think back on it I really appreciate that and I miss those times.

Speaker 2: 26:18

And he says it too. We miss that. You want to go visit a lot Like, yeah, we'll go again one day to visit, but it's like, yeah, you think about that. Just the different restaurants. It was still cozy out there. It was so cold, and the restaurants it made sure it was cozy, Different places. It was just it was nice here.

Speaker 1: 26:35

How my experience I remember I forgot when, but I remember you said that at one point it was the sun was like 24-7. How was that like?

Speaker 2: 26:47

That's during the summer. The summer, yeah, that wasn't bad, it was actually nice it was. The winter was the one that was like when it was dark during the day I would drop my oldest son off at school and it'd be dark. It'd pick him up. It's dark. You get like a little period of sunlight during the day or maybe like look like it's going to rain, but other than that, yeah, the summer is more of a pick you up, like people clubbing. They like out at you know watching, and like who wants to come outside of a club, and it's like no, I'm tired. I know I look ugly, I don't even want to be seen, but yeah, it's different. For sure, the summer was nice, though. We really liked the summer, yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:30

Now do you miss up your sleep? Where it's like 2 o'clock in the morning, where your body is like I want to be sleep, but it's sunlight? No, not really.

Speaker 2: 27:39

OK, some people recommended that we buy those blackout curtains. Yeah, but we never really needed them. We just closed like we had the panel blinds, kind of. Oh OK. We just closed them and that wasn't bad. Ok, yeah, because I remember you showed it wasn't like super sunny or anything. Oh, ok yeah, not all the time.

Speaker 1: 27:55

Oh, OK, Because I remember you had showed us this was a wild bag. See, I can remember certain things but I can't tell you yesterday. But I remember you had showed us a picture. You was like it's whatever time in the morning, yeah, and you see the sunlight. I'm like what you mean, Like it was scary.

Speaker 2: 28:09

When it first happened it was like this is crazy yeah.

Speaker 1: 28:14

So all right, OK. So the next thing is that I want to talk a little bit more about family life. So you are a self-mom with a bonus child and growing up you were the bonus child with dad and of course your mom brought you into the relationship and stuff. So do you think that having that experience and then I'm also going to talk about our dad being in military, but I'll put a pin in that one but do you think growing up in an extended family like you did, did you think that helped you kind of like, I guess, go into being a stepmom, because I know it's not you, but I know that sometimes some families have difficulties having an extended family or whatever, and I know to expect, but because you grew up in that, do you think that that kind of helped you be prepared for it? 100%?

Speaker 2: 29:14

I definitely think that had a huge part of me, which is family is family. Dad, always family is family. You know what I mean. No matter what that's family, I don't care where it came from, you were adopted, you were married in whatever he always made it family is family. So I've always treated her like that's my. I'm getting my oldest and I'm getting her this. You're going to be equals or not too far in age and I just always it's like in me.

Speaker 2: 29:48

It's kind of hard to explain. Like I know I've dealt with some women that are like stepchild. I'm not. You know, you, the stepchild feels some type of way yeah, you know, and I've experienced that and I would never want her to experience. I would never want her to feel like that. I would never want her to feel like oh, I don't feel like I'm welcome here, don't feel like I'm annoying. I feel like I'm not equal to doing more for your child than it, you know, than me, or I would never do that. Like I know how that feels. Yeah, I would never make her feel like that. I always even just like, not even because of that. It just kind of seems natural to be like and she's sweet, she's yeah, she's, yeah, for sure, she's part of our family. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:36

Yeah, I like that, yeah, yeah, because for me before I met my boo thing like people had talked mess about me because I only had many of me and so I didn't want to be with someone who had a child, and all of my relationships except the last one, they didn't have children. And, first of all, people talk shit about it, like you are a whole entire mom and how.

Speaker 1: 30:59

And I was like for me, I didn't want to have anymore. For sure, once I got my two-sided I didn't want to have anymore. So it's messed up, as other people thought. I was like I'm done, especially as she had gotten older or whatever. And so when I was with my ex, there was a seven year difference between him and I. I was the oldest and, if I'm not mistaken, there was a seven year difference between his child and mine and of course, there were two different genders. He had a boy, I have a girl.

Speaker 1: 31:30

So it was difficult because I kind of wanted to be like how your mom treated me. I wanted to treat his son as part of the family, even though we weren't married, we're in a relationship, but I wanted to accept him as my own and I wanted to have a great relationship with the mom. And I didn't get none of that. Like it took forever for me to meet the mom. The mom didn't even want to meet me.

Speaker 1: 31:58

It was like I trust you with my son. It's like, yeah, wouldn't you want to meet me? Right, and it's like I get it that you trust the father and that's great, but wouldn't you want to meet me, yeah, and when we had went to Louisville, kentucky, they have like a theme park and his child wanting to go to Kitty Land and my child being a teenager like what the fuck are we doing in Kitty Land? So had to deal with that separation and not getting the support and the different thought processes of how to raise ones. And I was like you know, I can't do this again. And so the chat out to the ancestors that my boo thing don't have any. And I know that could sound messed up, but I want to speak my truth and be honest because I feel like there's some people out there who can talk to me and say, oh, you know you shouldn't be that way, but I don't know. I like the people who are honest, honest.

Speaker 2: 32:54

I'm the one you need to listen to, right, like, just tell me how it is, yeah exactly.

Speaker 1: 32:59

So how was the experience coming into the family with, with our dad and what I mean by that is, of course, coming in as a bonus show, of course, and then having to travel the world with him? We're not to say like, oh, you just met, I just met you, man, and now I'm about to travel the world. I hate to make it sound like that, but I know that. I know that when dad and your mom got married, time had passed and then y'all had moved to Okinawa, if I'm not mistaken, texas first, texas first, okay, so y'all had moved from Cali to Texas, then from Texas. Eventually y'all moved over, because that's what the military does Move you over. So like, how was that whole experience where it's like you have your mom, which is awesome, and so I'm pretty sure, I'm assuming that you liked dad but like it's like what the fuck? I just met you, basically, I just met you, and now I'm moving across the world with you, right?

Speaker 2: 33:55

Well, I guess I'll say from what I remember I was so young, I guess it's always like I said, how dad is, his family is family and he's always made me feel like family. So I never felt weird, like oh, I'm going with this stranger.

Speaker 2: 34:12

I know I'm going with my parents, I'm moving, and it's just always. I never felt like I just was a stepchild. Basically I always felt like that's a super comfortable day, you know I could talk to him about anything, all that like you do. Yeah, poor heart, hold on, even though you don't want to hear it. I feel like that's what it felt, like it never felt. And then I was so young too, so I don't think I, from what I remember, and I was a really outgoing child.

Speaker 2: 34:42

Yeah, like talkative, super talkative, and you used to get in trouble for something, yeah. So yeah, I feel like it didn't even feel weird. It felt like I'm just moving my parents.

Speaker 1: 34:55

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, because, like like for me, when it comes to, yeah, your family is family, even though your mom and my dad, our dad, I'm sorry even though your mom and our dad have since divorced. Like, you are my sister for life.

Speaker 1: 35:11

Now sometimes I do tell people you're my step sister, only so that it could, it could quote them, quote, make sense. Because they're like yeah, they're like wait, oh, yeah, whatever. And then with our youngest brother, I know woo wee, and I blame the woman that gave birth to me because I don't call her mom, because she's not worthy of that title, but I blame her a little bit because she talks so much shit about our dad. And unfortunately, as a child, I believed because you know why would she lie to me? And I think that that messed up my relationship with you. And then when our younger brother came into the world, he was like that's your brother. And I'm like, no, no, it's not, or whatever. And now I think differently.

Speaker 1: 35:57

And so that was, for me, one reason why, even though things didn't work out with my child's father, I always told them you are not going to talk shit about him in front of her at the end of the day. Now, unfortunately be right, unfortunately she knows that he was abusive and it's not like me trying to like tarnish him in a bad way. It was number one Me sharing that with her in case and I know this sounds effed up, but again, that's my truth is, in case he wanted to be on some life, your mom kept me away and I've never kept him away from her. It's just we would go up to see him. Sometimes he would care, sometimes he wouldn't, and he has always been welcome to come here to visit.

Speaker 1: 36:41

I just need to know and when she was younger she couldn't speak. Of course it was going to be supervised, because I don't know If you, you, did these things to me and I can't prove it. I think he might have did something to her when she's a baby, but I can't prove that. But I know he did things to me, so it was just my way of protecting. Yeah, oh, whatever, um, but like nobody will ever talk, miss, I even told her that I don't care too much for our dad's side of the family and I told her again that as long as they treat her with respect, I don't care in the sense of like cause. Like you just said, family is family and stuff.

Speaker 2: 37:18

So, um, yeah, and just so she doesn't um, you know, just in case she gets in that situation when she gets older. You want her to know what it looks like.

Speaker 1: 37:28

Yeah, mom got out of it. Don't you deal with that? Oh, don't you Exactly? And it's just like I don't know. Um, I say it all that earlier to say that I think that some, some, some children are impressionable and, um, I'll never know the truth. The part of me feels like if the woman that gave birth to me with would have been more inviting um with your mom, like how you are inviting with your bonus child's mom, and how inviting I was when I was um in a relationship with someone who had a child, I think that that could have made our relationship. I mean, it's great now, but I think that could have helped make the relationship better and stuff. So, um, yeah, so this ain't gonna make me upset, no matter what you say. Don't, don't um hold back. Wow, being my steps. Oh, how was it?

Speaker 2: 38:23

Let me, I just ran, I ain't gonna be mad cause, oh my gosh. I can take it. No, it's okay. I know we grow, things happen, we're younger, we're impressionable, we believe our parents, we listen to everything. So I definitely don't fall here for anything.

Speaker 2: 38:40

But I do remember that one time you flipped my popcorn over and then we were in Texas. Of course, I don't remember that. No, it was so funny, though. Like when you think back you're like man, I'm glad that we're in a place that we are now. You know, Like he said, our kids are cousins. I love that, but no, no, we're hard. I bounce back so quick and I forget people, like something. But that wasn't even anything.

Speaker 1: 39:07

I feel bad. I'm serious. I think that's the way that I'm wired to feel bad about growth instead of celebrating the growth, like, okay, yeah, you might have not gotten along with your brother and your step sister, but look at the growth now, right, and stuff. But yeah, I remember again in Texas. I remember like I was mad at you because your mom had cut some cake and so she cut two slices for us. Oh, remember that One slice was like a regular slice and another slice it had fell into the plate, so it was like one slice here. Oh, yeah, I'm acting like y'all can.

Speaker 2: 39:42

Actually see this.

Speaker 1: 39:43

All I'm doing is giving her a visual description of the slices. So it was just one cake slice but because it had fell, it came as two slices and you got the pick first and I knew you were going to get those two slices that looked like one I was living. Oh my God, I still look cakey today. So yeah, I was just like wow.

Speaker 2: 40:05

I don't remember that. That's crazy. It's crazy the things that we remember. Yeah, certain things. That's like the only thing I remember as far as you being like. You know, upset it was just the popcorn. I think I don't even remember. I just remember sitting on the floor in the living room and I don't know, you got mad at something. You flipped the ball over and I was mad like it is totapoca.

Speaker 1: 40:27

Oh, that's funny, oh my God. Yeah, and like I've told not to like listen, you being her auntie, but again, because one time she was very confused because she had saw your mom and stuff and she's like I don't get how that's your sister, and wait, hold up, hold up. And then granddad was married. I'm so confused. And then so I had explained to her, you know, because, oh, and on top of that our younger brother, so it just really didn't make any sense. She was all the way confused, like how was this auntie, how's this uncle? And then they share the same mom but not the same dad, and what, oh my gosh. And so I explained to her like I had said like yeah, you know, at one point your granddad and Tam's mom had gotten married there since divorce and stuff. But yeah, I've known her since she was four, something along those lines, and that will always be my sister and stuff. Do the boys know that?

Speaker 2: 41:30

the younger one. The younger one, he doesn't really know, he just knows about us. So he just, yeah, you know, because he still communicates with my biological father.

Speaker 1: 41:41

Yeah, so yeah, okay, so yeah, yeah, like I said, I only shared that part with my me just to be on some like in case you look at me weird and I understand what's going on. But yeah, at the end of the day that's still sister and stuff like that. So, yeah, let's see. Oh, speaking of the boys, you have two of them and the oldest one is starting to get older. How are you handling that with the voice getting deeper in the pitchforks? Because let me tell you, like when I saw the oldest in September and I heard his voice, I was like wait already, didn't it?

Speaker 2: 42:18

happen so fast in the summer. Yeah, I was like what? Because even now he's like whoa.

Speaker 2: 42:24

I'm like wait a minute, there's only one man in here, please calm down, yeah, but no, yeah, it's weird for sure. And then he's all into girls and she's going to like I'll breeze and I'm I need this mom now, I need this. Can you get like he's all about his hygiene? Yeah, Mom, can I get some Versace Cologne? Wait a minute, baby Alright, and can I get this? And I want to wear this and the girls like this. I'm like, yeah, what about them? Grades?

Speaker 1: 42:54

Right.

Speaker 2: 42:56

But yeah, it's so different and it feels like it happens so fast. Yeah, he was just in middle school and I feel like he had a growth spurt over the summer and it's just weird, like everything's completely different. Like certain things he was like doing last year this, I would say. Last time, Christmas, he was like yeah, I got the matching PJs. Yeah, let's take pictures. Now he's like I'm good, I'm like what do you mean? Yeah, I'm going to get a picture of the matching PJs. Yeah, so they wore the matching PJs and my youngest is the only one that wanted to take the picture. Yeah, but yeah, so it's different. He's definitely starting to care more about like I need my hair, this, this, and you know he has hair. So he's like can I, can you get somebody to dread my hair?

Speaker 1: 43:41

and I'm like okay, yeah, okay, I think that happened with me when my many me got into ninth grade, where she never cared about anything and I loved that about her shoes would be on the wrong feet. That would aggravate me. For some reason I'm not comfortable. I guess it became like regular. I don't know what it was, but either way, ninth grade came, she finally knew how to put her shoes on the right feet, like one of her. When she was in elementary, one of the day care people had called me because you know my number ain't changed or whatever was asking about her and was like does she still? I was like can you believe it? When she hit ninth grade she finally learned, quote unquote, how to do it. But for me it's next month she will be seventeen, what the fuck.

Speaker 2: 44:31

I still remember the day I drove you to the ER to deliver.

Speaker 1: 44:36

that's weird and it's like it does and for me I'm getting emotional as I think about, because for me, every day for 2024 and it's a leap year, so the whole three, sixty-six is me thinking about quote, unquote, last, only because, like that's the last time I can quote, unquote, force her like next Christmas 2024 will probably be the last time that we can do our annual like Christmas Carol dance I mean not dance, I'm sorry song.

Speaker 1: 45:08

And then the 2025, like if she decides to go to college or what I or what not. It is what it is, but it's not like I could be like you gotta do this cause you're gonna be eighteen. And I'm like cause when I turned eighteen was in September, after I graduated from high school. So here I am going to college, albeit it was only for a couple of weeks, but I went to college, couldn't get into clubs, couldn't really do anything, cause I'm still a child or whatever. And so her senior year, she will. When January 2025 comes, she will be eighteen. So I mean she'll be grown to a certain degree, cause I'm still gonna make her go to school and everything, like she's supposed to or whatever. But it's just like, oh my gosh, to a certain degree I can't make him do anything, and it's not even about the making, it's just the I have an adult child.

Speaker 2: 45:56

I feel like with that, like eventually, like even in the early young years, she's gonna kind of drift off and, you know, find herself. But she's gonna come back and be like, oh, can we sing the Christmas song again? Stuff is gonna happen for sure. I feel like through my twenties I went through my twenties. It was kind of like a blur a little bit. I was just trying to find myself. I'm like it's all about me, it's all about you know, I ended up with my husband, but we were dating. I was like, man, I'm at the club, I'm thinking about my parents, but in my thirties I would say later thirties I'm starting to be like I mean, I'm not not hot, but like I want to spend time with my dad, I want to spend time with my mom, I want to do stuff like that. And it's like, and my kids, or my oldest, is like I don't want to go do this, I want to get dropped off here. And I'm like what about? Yeah, we switched like. Things are different. I never thought about that.

Speaker 2: 46:50

We're doing the switch if you think about your twenties, like as far as like being around parents, it was like yeah well, can you believe it?

Speaker 1: 47:02

I actually was okay with my parents, but I wasn't like like can we? Try it together. That's what I mean. Well, yeah, I guess the close together, oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 47:12

That's great. I guess me through my 20s I was just going through like that period of like, trying to find me, trying to do my thing, and then, like now that I'm in my later 30s, I'm like man, I miss my parents, like, and even when we were living in Cali, I was like I think I miss my. You know, I miss my parents and even when we move again, I'm going to miss them always. And I think I think more of it now. You know, like we're in Alaska. Yeah, I miss y'all, but it was like I have my, I'm building my life here.

Speaker 1: 47:38

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 47:39

But now, I guess, when you get older, it happens Cause you see your parents get older and that's all I know. But even though you know dad doesn't man, he's still he gets around more than me Like, oh my. God, he just more than me. I'm like what are you doing? I'm not at home right now. I'm like hey.

Speaker 1: 47:55

Yeah, like slow down, like on Father's Day, whenever we go out and stuff, I always think we're together and that is so disgusting to me.

Speaker 1: 48:04

And it's also weird because it's like who are you calling old or who like. But yeah, like I remember Father's Day this year I was able to take him out because you know he loves some real obstacles, and so we took a picture for the memories, like you said, and also for the social media, but definitely for the memories and there was like y'all look so cute. I was like this is my day, Like I could take that as a compliment, like y'all look cute.

Speaker 2: 48:30

But in my mind, when they say these nice comments, I think they think they were together, meaning like a couple, and it's like oh, I guess they think like because a lot of men do date younger, younger women and they're like well, I don't want to be rude and be like, is that your daughter? And it's not, you know. That's even worse when you think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but y'all look alike. So I'd be kind of looking like, hey, I don't want to say nothing.

Speaker 1: 48:55

They kind of look alike. And then when I used to be around the woman that gave birth to me, they would always like it'll be many me, her and I, and that's three generations In their mind. The woman that gave birth to me and I are sisters and they're thinking that she is mother and not grandma. And I'm like, hold up, I'm mom, that's my child, and then this is my mom, and they're like wait, the math ain't.

Speaker 1: 49:20

Or even now, if I have many me with me, the math for them ain't math. And I'd be like, yeah, I got a 17-year-old. And they're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait that math. How you got a 17-year-old? I was like, because I'm poor, whee, there you go.

Speaker 2: 49:34

Yo, yo, yo Let go.

Speaker 1: 49:35

Chris, yes, let go, Chris. So earlier you had talked about moving around a lot and I call you a nomad for that, because you move around. Where is your ideal state to stay when you move, and or will it be your final spot? Will you ever OK? So I guess it's a two part. So first one is what's your ideal state to stay, and then the second part is are you going to be a nomad forever or are you ever going to quote unquote? Ok, no, definitely not.

Speaker 2: 50:04

It wasn't intentional to do that, but I feel like I don't know. Maybe it's the military life that makes me want to kind of experience different places, because I always I don't mind moving to different places, I'm always being on meeting different people, things like that. I feel like in California. I think that was a really good move for us, because just as far as as busy as California is, as far as just going hustle, everybody's going to give you a push. I feel like that's when my YouTube channel really took off the most.

Speaker 2: 50:43

I've fallen off drastically because I actually haven't gone through some things Feeling things like anxiety, depression and things like that, but I feel like I'm not giving up, of course, yeah, we're not, but I am coming back to my YouTube channel, but I feel like there gave me and my husband just the most motivation as far as we see us going somewhere and things happen where you make mistakes, you think you want to be somewhere and you don't and you leave and it's like man, I regret it but just to see it could have been far, especially like I told you what my husband wants to do. So, yeah, I don't know, I guess I ideal state I would just say California, just based off of the experience. We had some great experiences in Texas, as far as the family as well and I do miss certain parts of Texas, just different things. We did everything Cowboy Stadium, six flags, this that it was just nice. You know restaurants and everything. But I feel like California for the motivation, I feel like and I just felt happier there.

Speaker 1: 51:52

That makes sense.

Speaker 2: 51:54

I don't know if it's the sunshine, I don't know, but I love being near the water too. Maybe it's the Pisces, yeah.

Speaker 1: 52:00

Hey, it could be. It could be that as well, I don't know, because for me OK. So I spent early part of 2000s in Philadelphia and then we lived in New York City with her father. Then we came back and we've been back ever since and stuff, and so sometimes I miss Philly. I have a friend that we went to college together. He lives in Chicago and so that's a.

Speaker 1: 52:26

You know, I love driving like that, so I don't mind driving there, but my issue is the cold. So it's kind of like dang it, I guess I'll stay and then, even though my child, like we just said, is about to get older, I could like leave. But I don't know why, as of right now I kind of like want to stay put. But I can understand the motivation of what you mentioned, because I feel like in Memphis I'm an opportunity for sure. Oh, definitely opportunity. And I feel like in Memphis to the key like we. It's crazy how like we got Nashville three hours east of us, atlanta seven or eight southeast, southeast hours of us wait, seven or eight hours southeast of us. There we go, and you would think that some of that stuff would trickle down. But for some reason it appears or maybe I'm not in the right circles that sometimes with Memphis like we sometimes have this kind of like quote unquote, old school backwards thinking, yes.

Speaker 2: 53:20

Oh, I'm so there with you. I promise I am. I feel it. That's why, like when you leave, like we left for what 10 years we left and came back, you feel it like heavy and it hits you. And it hits you and it's like this is not where I really want to be, like I'm just, I don't know, like you said, closed-minded way of thinking, judgmental. I mean, like I feel like you know everybody's, like Southern hospitality, this and that, Like yeah, I guess, but sometimes I feel like it's nosiness, I feel like it's judgmental, like your kid is this or your kid is that, like oh, you let them dirty. It's like I don't know, I don't really like that. Like I want my kids to be carefree. I want them to do what they want to do. I don't want them to have to be pressured in anything.

Speaker 2: 54:09

I don't want them to have to take their hoods off Because they're not like why. You know what I mean. Like take your, he's the kid.

Speaker 1: 54:15

Like and we know there were there hoodies all year round for some weird reason and this guy no.

Speaker 2: 54:22

And in Cali we never experienced that Like I mean he did. You know, he was kind of. He grew up a little bit there. You know it's a little time there, but it was just different and we just feel like in different areas. You know, I mean I feel like you just got to live where you know it fits you and it's just because sometimes it's just I don't know. I guess, like I said, leaving and coming back to Memphis has changed a lot too since we left. So I feel like just certain things.

Speaker 1: 54:49

And very slow with the changes, cause my friend, when I used to do Rakey this past summer, she has a pole dancing class. Everybody has their clothes on and I think you and I have done a pole dancing class for my birthday and that's the workout. She told me that some of her customers were like no, I can't do this anymore, cause my family even though everybody who's in there is 18 plus my family is saying how this is not cool. And you go to Nashville or Atlanta and it's okay, even with me, with my spirituality, with Rakey. Some people have never heard of Rakey, which is fine or whatever like that. But it's like the first thing is like, oh, I don't want to do that or whatever, which, again, that's fine, but it's just like it's Don't be so negative about it. Yeah, you don't know, you know, yeah, and it's just like. Again, you go to Nashville, you Google Rakey, so many businesses out there, it's like it's just, it's just baffling to me, like it was that close and things already is different.

Speaker 2: 55:46

It's crazy. I that's where I am too. It's like it's different and even as far as like I mean, everybody doesn't agree with smoking weed especially out here. But people know that there's health benefits to that People with PTSD, people with anxiety, health and it's like it looks at you, like you're a thug or something like what is happening, like when we were in Cali we used to go to the dispensary and when I tell you, it was people in suits lined up.

Speaker 1: 56:12

Just got out of work.

Speaker 2: 56:14

Women that look like they work in perfumes, and it's like different type of people. And it's like I like, I like that. Yeah, I like that. It's so you know you can be yourself out there. So many different people. And it's like, and I just stare at you, like oh, yeah, like you're a weirdo, Like why aren't you like straight? Yeah, like everybody else. Yeah, see everybody else, and it's like yeah.

Speaker 1: 56:35

So I had a couple more questions, but I'm trying to think okay, if you feel like answering no, no rush, or whatever, we have enough time left to finish, or we can skip those questions and we just do my last question. But do you feel like talking about veganism? Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool. So at one point you were a vegan, talked to us about that, and how was it?

Speaker 2: 56:59

in a family, with your family as well, okay, so we were vegan a little over two years, okay, and I just had some things, you know some low vitamins that made me kind of convert a little bit back, but I still, like I don't eat beef or pork, okay, and mostly just chicken and seafood.

Speaker 1: 57:22

Chicken and seafood.

Speaker 2: 57:22

Oh, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But yeah, we were vegan, our whole family was, so the kids as well. Wow, okay, yeah, just as far as that. I feel like you just gotta be knowledgeable. Like veganism is not as easy as people think. I heard Like you could just be like I'm just not gonna eat meat Like there's. It takes a lot. You have to make sure you get all these vitamins. Yep, like people, everybody. What I hate is what everybody says you're not getting enough protein. How are you gonna get protein? My protein was the one that wasn't the issue.

Speaker 1: 57:52

And that's funny Cause some people, when they become vegetarians or vegans whichever one they decide a lot of them become pre-diabetic because they're doing a lot of carbohydrates. So that was pretty cool that you knew. Like, yeah, my protein. That's cool because most people associate protein with meat, but you can get that in vegetables as you want.

Speaker 2: 58:12

Everything, yeah, and my protein, like I had full blood panels done. Yeah, I was low on B12 because I wasn't taking the full amount that I should have been taking. Yeah, low on vitamin D yeah, but I think I was already low on vitamin D cause my level was super low. Yeah, and iron, of course, yeah, so just those vitamins. I just, you know, decided to convert back and just start eating, you know. But I still eat vegan meals, yeah, all the time. We still buy vegan butter. I really don't eat much dairy, okay. So, yeah, it's still pretty much the same. But the kids, I would say but my youngest one liked the vegan. Yeah, he's like chickpea crazy. Oh, yeah, he loves fresh vegetables yeah, I'm talking about bell peppers, carrots so he doesn't really care for cooked vegetables. It's weird Even now. So I just give him fresh.

Speaker 2: 59:01

I'm like you should eat it yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, so that, and my oldest, he was with it too as far as what we made, but I let him eat whatever he wants after. I mean outside, yeah, but now. Yeah, they love chicken both of them, but yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1: 59:17

It's a dumb question, but I don't care, I'm gonna ask anyway. So, doing your veganism you, you were in Cali, right, I started there.

Speaker 2: 59:25

But I used to do. I kind of played around with it in Texas, but I never went fully. I would get like I would eat, probably mean one today.

Speaker 1: 59:35

Oh, yeah, so the assumption is yeah, so the assumption is because I was in Cali, you probably had more options versus when you came here.

Speaker 2: 59:46

Actually I really cooked at home a lot. Oh OK, Either way, because it's kind of risky either way. Oh OK, it's kind of like you get fake meat, I don't ever really care for the fake meat. Yeah, I want like make me a mushroom burger like a real mushroom patty.

Speaker 2: 1:00:01

Or like a bean burger, like I never really was into the fake meat which was kind of big. Everywhere Cali did have a lot more healthier choices as far as places to eat, like you can just go grab you a big salad bowl you can go grab. Like I struggle to find like a strictly salad place here. Yeah, I don't know if you heard of Salata. It's in Texas we used to look at them?

Speaker 1: 1:00:22

No, I don't think so, and it's like a full salad bar.

Speaker 2: 1:00:24

You get everything Nice, yeah, but they have places like that out there and I feel like, as far as on the healthier side, I guess, if you're eating out but a lot of the eating I do, even here, I would eat at home. But even here there's a lot of vegan options that people know about. Ok, like bean burgers. Best bean burgers I've had here is at Red Rotten, best baby burgers you'll ever have. Ok, so yeah, they're actually made out of the beans, the quinoa grains, all that Nice. I feel like you. Just when you're actually vegan you find, oh right, yeah, because there's places here you can get. Ok, if you fried rice when you go to Asian place you can get. Oh, ok, if you fall, we like fall, so we can start.

Speaker 1: 1:01:09

Yeah, yeah, ok, because I don't know why. But like I was just thinking that you know, in the South and we are like, quote unquote, unhealthy and fat people and we love art, and I don't mean in a bad way of like talking fat, being fat phobic or anything, but I just mean like us, like eating very unhealthy. So I made the unfortunate assumption that if somebody tries to eat healthy in Memphis that it would be difficult to find because it's like barbecue joints on every other street, like how OK.

Speaker 2: 1:01:38

I got I guess I could say I got a lot of negativity being vegan here. Like it's like the loud, like if me and my husband went to eat we went to eat one time and we ended up getting it was at Pabalu actually oh, ok, she made us drinks and one drink had like egg white something and she was like we ordered some veggie tacos, yeah, and she was like, oh, are you vegan? This has eggs in it. And she was like so loud and like everybody was looking like vegan. And then like even like people have made comments to my husband like you're vegan, like why are you so angry? Like why are you so mad? I'm just watching my body Exactly. It's like what?

Speaker 1: 1:02:20

Like what yeah?

Speaker 2: 1:02:20

Yeah. So you get a lot of negativity, even from family members. It's like you're vegan. What Interested and I wouldn't even just say, my southern family? Why, yeah, so it's like you need to get in kids and eat, and then it's like whatever, I just look over and I would Because I've had some.

Speaker 1: 1:02:43

I have some friends who are vegan and I've been introduced to it not something for me, but I have an open mind as well, so I gave it a try and next up was pretty darn good. Yeah, it's a different thing too. Yeah, people think, leo, you're just eating this. Yeah, yeah, and it's all on how you presented and cook it.

Speaker 2: 1:02:59

Yeah, exactly yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:03:01

OK, and my last question we'll talk about content creation. So I follow you on social media with your content creation and you make this stuff look easy. Where do you get your inspiration to create? And have you ever thought about creating a podcast as far as your content, or you're just fine with so far, with how everything's going?

Speaker 2: 1:03:23

Well, let me not say that I've just been in it like I used to be. I am trying to get back to that point. Yeah, as far as the content, I guess I'm more of like a. I like to do soft content, so things that look like relaxing, relaxing music in the background.

Speaker 2: 1:03:41

Yeah, OK, I'm in here getting a copy of getting this set. So I enjoy making that kind of content. I get ideas from other soft content creators, things like that. I feel like I don't know. I just love how it comes together, Even like my husband. He was like it's so weird how you like we'll be out somewhere and you'll just give videos and then you'll put it all together and then you send me the TikTok and I'm like I didn't even know you took these. Oh yeah, it's like I have an eye for it. We're like OK, let me get this real quick, Let me. I know I need to get heavy into it because I do need to take more selfies and more things like that, but, like I said, I haven't been going through some things and trying to get together and a little depression, I think, from being here and just dealing with things, it's like things that I understand. It's a big change, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:04:33

And during the holidays me and other people go through that. It's called seasonal affective disorder. Yeah, have you my own psychiatrist? She told me about this. It's somewhere on Amazon I can't think of the name of it, but it's some kind and I'll probably take it to you later. But it's some kind of light that can stimulate. Oh, yeah, I see. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good design actually. Yeah, ok, yeah, yeah, and she had told me about this. So far with my depression, of course I take meds, but that doesn't mean anything from time to time. But yeah, I have been trying. I take my B12 because my doctor got on me from my physical, so I've been making myself take my B12 meds once a week in addition to my other meds, but so far I can't with it that this when I would be depressed, I haven't been, and I know you've probably heard all of these, but you know exercises and stuff like that helps and I'm here for you. The exercises are, and when you're in a depression, I know.

Speaker 2: 1:05:30

But yeah, I try to do yoga and rotate. I do those things as well. So not as often as I should, but I do yeah and I understand I'm going to make the kids meditate. I still love it.

Speaker 1: 1:05:41

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I try to meditate. I try to meditate but I'm not good at it. I'm sorry, I'm not consistent at it and I'm trying to find other ways to meditate because I know that you'll fall asleep and that's not your intent. But look, I got to find I might try to find other ways to meditate, but I do that or whatever. And I mean, I know you got a good group on it and stuff, but hey, if you ever want to talk or whatever, I'm here for you.

Speaker 2: 1:06:07

I think I'm coming out of it pretty much. Oh good, good, just the motivation as well. So you got to get that motivation as culture and creating is a lot. It takes a lot to make a YouTube video, but I'm definitely about to get back to it. Good, I did enjoy it.

Speaker 1: 1:06:22

Yeah, a lot of people they want me to get on YouTube and like I'm kind of quote I don't know if it's because my background is computer science, like that. That's where I have my undergrad in. I have not done much of it or whatever, but hey, student loans paid off, so shout out to that. But I'm very slow on all of this stuff or whatever. Of course I was on Facebook when it came out, but when all these other ones I'm just always very slow with it and I'm trying to get into the whole content to bring more listeners to the podcast, but it's just like it's a full-time job. It is.

Speaker 2: 1:06:56

From what I heard, I'm assuming you're working, it is harder. So I think that's big on me too, because I wasn't fully working in California when I was going heavy and I had just ideas all the time and then I was doing my niche was pretty much vegan, vegan stuff. I'd just be like I'd be at work thinking of ideas and I'd be like, hey, when I get off work, let's go to Whole Foods. I want to do this video with this and this, and it's like my husband's my biggest supporter.

Speaker 2: 1:07:28

He's always like now he's like you need to put out some videos. Yeah, I love this. He's always been even to a point where it's like he wants to get to a point where he can take over everything and I can do my concentration full-time.

Speaker 1: 1:07:42

So that's what I love, I mean he's done it before too.

Speaker 2: 1:07:45

I just wasn't as heavy in a discussion. I regret it, so bad.

Speaker 1: 1:07:49

Yeah, well, it's not too late. Yeah, so I'm making back into it. Yeah, it's difficult for me because, as you know, I'm a very eccentric out there type of person and I know everybody say there's a niche for everything. But some content creators, from what I see and I hate that I'm trying to compare myself because you know what is for you, like you said earlier, what's for you, what's for you, blah, blah, blah. But it's like, oh my gosh, I like this, I like that, I like all these different things, and so it's like I want to talk about all these things, but sometimes other content creators make me feel like I'm supposed to just talk about one thing, definitely.

Speaker 2: 1:08:25

Especially on the top, there's definitely a space for everyone. For what you? Because there's millions of people like you that want to see stuff like that and they can't find it. You could be the one to be in your name, bringing it out there.

Speaker 1: 1:08:37

Yeah for sure. I mean, I'm motivated. So yeah, cool For sure, cool, well, all right. Well, that was all the questions I had. Is there anything?

Speaker 2: 1:08:44

lastly, you want to talk about that I didn't mention, I guess as far as the podcast, you asked me if I would ever want to see. Yes, sorry, me and my husband actually talked about doing that, possibly in the future. Not now because I still want to fully commit to my yeah. But yeah, he's not a huge social media person and he's trying to get into it, especially for the business. Yeah, he ends up, he's trying to get more into that. So hopefully this next year things will be better with that. We can kind of work on that Because if you man, my husband has some interesting conversations, we can do a podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:09:20

Yeah, that's what my boo thinks. He wants me and many, many to have one. But I was like, let me wait until she's 18, because I like to curse and I would feel weird. You would be judging like, yeah, yeah, and so I think about that. But yeah, I think sometimes it's intimidating for me personally to want to do podcasts. I mean, clearly I'm doing one, but want to do one because it seems like it's so many out there or whatever like that. But I still feel, like what you said earlier there's a niche out there for everyone to do it. So there's nothing wrong with that. So, yeah, yeah, so I'll do that, cool, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2: 1:09:55

That's true, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:09:57

All right, well, thank you, you don't have to. It's not mandatory. Do you want to do a shout out with your social media stuff? Do you want to plug that? If you do, cool. If you don't know, biggie, it's not a big deal, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:10:08

My social media. My Instagram is get my name. Hold on, it's tamromachelh. So yeah, follow me on there. Ok, give me a shout out, leave me a message. I will be posting more pictures. Yeah, I got to really get on my social media because I post stories every now and then I feel like, even like I just feel like I don't do enough, like I used to do. Yeah, I don't really go on, I don't want to just take a whole bunch of pictures just sitting at home, yeah, but yeah, ok, yeah, I'm working on it.

Speaker 1: 1:10:36

Cool. Ok, next year stay tuned. Yes, next year stay tuned. We are here for my.

Speaker 2: 1:10:40

YouTube channel also is Tamara. Let me double check. I've changed it before. Ok, sorry, no problem, it should be Tamara Michelle, actually. Ok, tamara Michelle H.

Speaker 1: 1:10:55

H on the end. Ok, so that's all for the Instagram and the YouTube and the YouTube and the TikTok.

Speaker 2: 1:11:01

And the TikTok OK, cool, yeah, see, I like that consistency throughout.

Speaker 1: 1:11:04

Yeah, I got to put together, yeah, so I'll put that in the show notes and everything like that. So, ok, again, I want to thank you so much for coming out. I really enjoyed this and I love how indirectly you flow through every single thing that I ask without me having to make it sound like hey, you just talked about this, but now we got a backtrack, so that was cool, all right, well, whoop. That's all that. I got Q out.