Cocoa Pods
Podcast - Cocoa Pods Series: A feature of the Birth Center Foundation.
We discuss all things' women, all things' pregnancy, all things' after. Reasons why women fall very sick ( morbidity) or die (mortality) before pregnancy (adolescent girls and young adults),during pregnancy and after are discussed in this maternal morbidity and mortality reduction academy; especially with an emphasis on minority women, all over the world; and ways for all involved in care to work together collaboratively and mitigate and or eliminate risks in women’s health.
Cocoa Pods
Men Confronting Curses and Couples Cultivating Joy
As my best friend Charles and I sat down to unravel the intricate web of generational curses, we found ourselves immersed in a conversation that is often left unspoken among men. Our heart-to-heart reveals the transformative power of camaraderie and mentorship as vital tools to help men rise above deep-seated challenges. We're uncovering the raw truths behind personal struggles, and the journey to mental, emotional, and financial wellness. Acknowledging the profound influence of gun violence on families, we stress the importance of community support systems and proactive engagement to guide the younger generation away from paths of destruction.
Join us for a riveting discussion with our guests, Charles and Lillian, as they share their personal narrative of reinventing their love story. Their candid revelations shed light on the pivotal role of gratitude and remembrance of joyful moments in nurturing a thriving partnership. This episode isn't just about finding the right words or actions to rekindle a dwindling flame; it's a testament to the resilience and dedication required to transform relationships into sources of happiness and mutual growth. We are more than just narrators; we are advocates for change, striving to pave hopeful and fulfilling paths for the generations that come after us.
Again break generational curse. So us men, we need to change some of our ways.
Dr Bola Sogade:So we continue our discussions with Charles.
"Charles":I accept my best friend. We might not talk every day, but at least once a week. We're going to call Me and him are going to talk.
Dr Bola Sogade:And you talk about things about your marriage also.
"Charles":Like, if there's something bothering you.
Dr Bola Sogade:These are people you can trust.
"Charles":I can trust that.
"Charles":Yes, you can you can give you good advice that you're gonna act on yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, like I said, you go through life. You don't know it all. No, no one knows it all. It's uh, you always seek advice Okay, what about this, what about this? And you never know what the other person that have went through, because they might have went through the same thing. But it's just, you have to talk, like I said, my best friend, he went through a lot. My cousin that I always refer to, he went through a lot as well. My brother, he went through a lot.
"Charles":So it's like we pick each other up, you know, when we're down, I want to see them do good in life for marriage success, everything. Just like they want to see me do good in life for it, Marriage success, everything. Just like they want to see me do good in life, marriage, and successfully. And it just we got each other back. We're not going to let each other like, if he falls, I'm not going to sit there and stand back and just watch him fall, and that's our mindset, you know. So we're willing to work with anyone to help anyone as much as possible, you know, and we need that because we have a lot of young men now that's not walking in that way, like I just got a call.
"Charles":Last night One of my family members was killed and he's, like now the family in turmoil. So he's in front of us today, more so in front of us today. So and this is, I hate when family get like that, because we was always raised together. Things like that tear families apart. So me and these days now we have to sit down as and be able to listen. Don't jump to conclusions. We have to sit down and listen now, because this world is evolving every day. So us men, we need to change some of our ways and walk in the way the Lord wants to.
"Charles":So yeah, like I said, I see a lot of the old me and a lot of the younger guys now. They're selfish, they don't want to listen and like me and my cousin actually we did just talk about that, my brother too that we want to try to get some younger guys and just mentor to do things different. Now you know, back home we didn't have a Boys and Girls Club, we didn't have anything where the guys could come together. It's just us as cousins we did it, but to all the younger generation in the neighborhood they didn't come around because they didn't have it. So we want to do something back home where we can bring all the guys together, because you have the younger generation.
Dr Bola Sogade:They're different now.
"Charles":We want to change that Because, like I said, my cousin, he was just killed and we lost family members as well to gun violence, and we want to make change. You don't have to walk this path, man, like this path is only two options. So we just want to make a change in the neighborhood to where guys have more options on things that they want to do in life, you know, besides trying to be in the streets, things like that. So that's what we're trying to do in the neighborhood for the younger generation, for it to show them that you know you can be married, you can be in a relationship. We just want to talk about everything, get everything out, to make things different. So we're trying to make a difference in this world. So we're trying to make a difference in this world. And a lot of us, though, as men, we just sit back and just watch the young generation just fall, and we just refuse to sit back and watch it. So we try to make a difference in a way that we feel we didn't have.
"Charles":And you know, like I said, me coming up, we didn't have none of that and we want to give the kids a better way because to me, I feel they're doomed. As parents, we try to be there for our kids, but it takes time. We have to be away from our kids more and more to try to give success to our kids, but that kid needs someone to mentor him while the parent is away. So that's the thing that we're trying to do. We're trying to come together and do a Boys and Girls Club back home On a Saturday. All of us get together, we just talk as the guys you know and, like I said, a lot of my cousins we do that now. All of us get on FaceTime. Hey cuz, you all right, you all right, you all right. If one of everyone, nah, man, I'm going through this and this and this, okay, now we try to figure out. Going through this and this and this, okay, now we try to figure out how we can help him get better. And I said, lately everyone's been doing good because, like I said, we, always we we try to work together to try to keep everyone afloat. So either, that's like I said marriage mentally, financially. And like I said marriage mentally financially, and like I said, it's a brotherhood to me, to, I'm not going to let my brother fall. When I know he's falling, I'm going to do all I can to help him out. You know, make that right path and she hates it because I end up I give but I don't receive. There's one point I was going to call oh my God, every week because I need this, I need this, I need this. And she got to the point she said listen, no, because that's taken away from me. So no, let's put an end to this and let's come up with a better way Than just giving. Let's help in a different way. If they're looking for a job, they want to pay more money, let's help them look for a job that can pay them more money. But no, let's stop giving. So, like I said, we just try to help out as much as possible.
"Charles":We know my cousin. Like I said, he's married and I've been helping him out lately. But you know, my cousin, he means well, he means well, he means well, and it is a part of his life that he chose the wrong path, just like I did, coming up and his wrong path put him in a situation where he couldn't get a good job, he couldn't be more successful because of what he did in his past. So I just try to be there for him and help him out as much as possible, because when you're younger we don't think about those things. When we get older and those things always reflect. They come back to haunt us. It does, it comes back to haunt us. So I just try to be there for him. He's doing better now.
Dr Bola Sogade:I'm glad I can help You're going to be breaking several generational crosses. This is going to be a multiplied effect. By the time you guys get the things together, the boys club in, you know, in your hometown. So I just want to thank you so much, charles that's your pseudonym for coming to Coco Pods podcast as we delve into the issues of difficult relationships and what people can do. And you and your wife, it's just a success story because you guys are back together, you are working at it, you are raising your children.
Dr Bola Sogade:So, just as we close out, I just want you to give a summary advice and I know you've done that all the time Just a summarization of what you would like to leave the men with and the husbands or the partners of our women folks here. The advice, you know, because women go through a lot and not a lot of people have this outcome that you guys have. You guys got married young. You got separated, you got divorced. You got back together, you got remarried and you are living together in harmony, working at it every day, fighting Really that's the word you said. You're fighting to keep it together every day. Yes, ma'am, not everybody has this outcome, you know. So, just in summary, what advice would you give people at different phases of all these kinds of things as we close out.
"Charles":Again, break generational curse. And I say I can't say it more, I can't say it less Change the narrative. It all depends on you guys. Only you guys can change the narrative of your guys' relationship. Only you guys can change the narrative of your guys relationship. And if your relationship means a lot to you, again change the narrative. The fighting, the bickering, the selfishness, it only pushes you away. So again, change the narrative. Make each other happy. Sometimes we might have to go back into it only pushes you away. So again, change the narrative. Make each other happy. Sometimes we might have to go back into the days where I know okay, when I did this, she was happy with me doing this. Okay, you might have to go back, but nothing's wrong with that. You know, happiness comes in all shapes and forms, but your marriage, that's a happy moment. Cherish it Like. Again, change the narrative.
Dr Bola Sogade:So that's what I'm going to leave with today. Wow, wow, myself and the Cocoa Pods cast team. We just want to thank our pseudo-named guests, but they're real-life couples, sitting right in front of me right here. Real life couple, but pseudo named Charles and Lillian, that came and just shared and poured out their whole life, their whole experience. Thank you very much for your time and just for teaching all of us a lot of things today.
"Charles":Yes, ma'am, you're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you for having me. That's good, that's good.
