Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken And Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . Hey , what's up everybody ?
Speaker 2Hey , everyone , welcome to .
Speaker 1Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are your hosts . We've been married for 23 years and we are still moving on by faith . Praise God , so excited that you guys have found our show . Whoever you are , wherever you are , welcome to our podcast and our channel . We do this because we wanna add some value to your relationships , help you grow , grow , grow , grow , grow closer to your relationship with God and also grow closer in your relationship with the people that God has placed in your life . And you ready for this one today , sweetheart ? I'm ready . Do you know what we're talking about ?
Speaker 2I do . What are we talking about ? We're talking about being tired .
Speaker 1Today's episode is entitled Tired of Being Tired question mark And we basically wanna provide today some help for tired people . And when I say tired , i ain't talking about tired . You know how some folk tired , they tired . You know what I'm saying . Tired in a slang way means like what would you say ?
Speaker 2Like in a like played out like just old busted lazy just blah .
Speaker 1Bummy blah . We're not talking about tired . We're talking about actually tired . There are people who are ?
Speaker 1tired , you know , tired physically , emotionally , spiritually . I think we can be tired in all those areas . And so cool , let's do it . We've been married for 23 years at the time of this recording . We've built businesses together , we've built ministry together , we've built family together And we've overcome so much I mean you've overcome about of 12 years of depression . We've overcome a marriage that was headed for divorce . We've overcome breast cancer stage three . Now you've been healed , cancer-free now for 21 months . To God be all of the glory . We've had our share of ups and downs , victories and losses , but through all of those challenges there , we have always also had to overcome being tired .
Speaker 1Can you talk about that a little bit .
Speaker 2Oh , yes , I mean especially from . I mean being a woman and you know , throughout the years of marriage that means we had babies , we have three kids , And so with every child , I feel like I got more and more tired . That's my part of it , I'm sure you , being a dad .
Speaker 1Well , I don't think today is just about tired being physically . Many times we're tired physically because we're also tired of the fight . I'm tired of being misunderstood . I'm tired of trying to believe God for something that doesn't seem like it's coming to pass . I'm tired of doing what's right .
Speaker 2I'm tired of doing what's right , tired of going to work dealing with the same problem , the same people never moving forward .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm just tired , tired , tired , And so I don't know . I think we've every human being is going to experience this tiredness , and I think we want to help people kind of get over it Yeah . And I think from a woman's perspective is that would you say that that's more of a real thing for women ?
Speaker 2Oh , definitely You think so Why I mean ?
Speaker 1Are you tired right now ? Tell everybody . everybody wants to know Are you tired right now ? You're smiling , but are you tired ?
Speaker 2You know , i probably . Yeah , i'm tired .
Speaker 1Why are you tired ?
Speaker 2I would say in a physical sense . Physically I'm tired .
Speaker 1Did you not sleep last night ?
Speaker 2I did sleep last night , but I am going through menopause , okay , and it's just a natural thing . Like I have hot flashes and in the middle of the night I have like three hot flashes , four hot flashes in the middle of the night . So I wake up and it disturbs . You know , we should have eight hours uninterrupted sleep . I'm waking up at one o'clock and two o'clock and four o'clock .
Speaker 1When is the last time you've been ? I'm tired That you got a full eight hours of sleep plus eight hours plus .
Speaker 2I cannot remember .
Speaker 1You can't remember .
Speaker 2Since probably , you know , since having a full hysterectomy after overcoming cancer , doing a full hysterectomy which is maybe a year and a half now 21 months , uh-huh . I mean , it's been a maybe , maybe almost two years . I don't even know .
Speaker 1I don't remember you getting great sleep before that . I think it's important because there's a lot of people listening and watching that do not get sweet sleep . Yeah , some people just naturally go to bed late . They naturally are having a problem with their sleep .
Speaker 2No , naturally I could sleep .
Speaker 1You can .
Speaker 2Don't play with me When we first got together people listened to me .
Speaker 1This woman could sleep . Just we could be at a restaurant , i mean we could be out somewhere , and just I mean she would go to sleep .
Speaker 2I could sit up and sleep In the beginning of our relationship .
Speaker 1you would go to sleep And it's almost like you could sleep 12 , 13 hours . But man times have changed a bit .
Speaker 2And so Life changes Yeah .
Speaker 1And so now I know that not everybody has ailments like a hysterectomy and stuff . But , there are a lot of people that are tired for many different reasons , but you're tired physically right now .
Speaker 2Physically And people are stressed out And sometimes stress okay , so you go to the gym , you could be like so healthy , but you have stress on your job or stress in your family , stress for whatever reason , and that will keep you up at night . Fear will keep you up at night . Anxiety . So some people aren't sleeping and are tired physically because of different things .
Speaker 1Well , there's so much to that When you don't get full rest , your body doesn't recuperate and recover like it should , which your immune system is down , and so if you're not getting full rest , it has a domino effect on other things , from your sex life to , i mean , people tired . And I guess I started off with that question because you know I love men and women equally . I really do Absolutely . I feel like right now I'm gonna tackle men and I really feel a call to really build up strong men . I'm talking about men's men , men of God , and but I have an equal passion for women . I just love women , i just love who they are And so , but for some reason I feel like this might be a little bit more of a woman's thing .
Speaker 1I think some brothers are tired . I think there's some men out here who are tired Absolutely . But why is that ? Why do we all right ? So you got the babies ? It's a hormonal thing . Why the reason I say that , listen , it's cause I can go to a lady and I can say man , it's your birthday , your birthday's coming up . What do you wanna do ? Do you wanna party ? Do you want your husband to buy you a new car ? Do you wanna go on vacation ? What if you could do anything for your birthday ? what would you wanna do ? And she would say take a nap , like I don't want anything else , i just want him to take the kids in this responsibility and sleep . There has been times where we have went on vacation And I'm out for three days and I'm on the beach and I'm chilling and I'm by myself And I'm out on the beach . I'm up early in the morning . I like to get up before the sun comes out . Read the word of God , do a little jogging then , grab a coffee , come out on the beach , hang out .
Speaker 1Three days you are in the condo , the Airbnb will not come out and you just sleep the whole time . Now I don't know if that's a woman thing or if it's you thing , but I don't know . I just feel a lot of women are tired . Why is that And what can we do about it ?
Speaker 2Okay . So I think that women can take on a lot . I mean , we can handle a lot . We can be She-Ra , we can be super woman , we can do all of those things . And I think , if I can , we will do things like be single moms Even me , you know , i'm not a single mom , but I will do things like take care of my kids , like as a mom , we will feed everyone else in the house and go to bed hungry ourselves just because we don't have time for it , or just like you know what ?
Speaker 2just you want left out . Okay , you want another piece of chicken ? there's only one piece left . Just go ahead and eat it , please . You know I don't even feel like dealing with the fight over it . So we will feed everyone else but still go hungry . We will make sure everyone else has new clothes and shoes to wear , but we don't have time to shop for ourselves . We'll make sure that our husband is taken care of , but we don't take care of some of our own needs , because it's how God created us to nurture and to take care of our families in that way , and we'll even single women . They have that nurturing ability on the inside of them . They'll take care of their friends and make sure they're at every birthday party buying the best gifts for people . They'll make sure that if someone's sick they go to the hospital . They're there providing for them . They'll babysit kids .
Speaker 2We do so much for other people and it's a gift that God's enabled us with right . But we can't do everything , and so we do it to almost our demise . And then we live in this society today where you can 24 seven . There's a restaurant open , you can go to Walmart , you can go to Target , you can go do things even at one , two , three o'clock in the morning , the internet doesn't shut down , you can still do your thing , you can still work , and so it's like we're 24 seven , constantly faced with all of these things that need to be done and that we wanna do , and I think we have to become stewards of our lives .
Speaker 1And you gotta do some self care .
Speaker 2Gotta do some self care .
Speaker 1Why ? okay , so have you ever been like that before ? Absolutely . Why is that , though , and what have you done ? Can you give me an example of you being like that , tired and taking care of everybody ? What are the things that make you tired ?
Speaker 2I think it's something to be constantly managed . I wanna use the word balance , but I think we all know that there's no such thing as balance . You think you got balance , but it's just on the .
Speaker 1Yeah , and then I just shift all my focus on here , everything's shifting again , yes , and so it's managing your time , managing everything
.
Speaker 2And so what I found is that I would even sometimes complain and be like , man , i've got so much to do , i don't have time for anything else . And I found out and I think you helped me discover this that okay , well , if I don't have time for anything , that's on me . This is my life , my time . I have the same 24 hours that everyone else has . I may have more responsibility , like I don't know . Maybe you could be a single mom , you could have three jobs , you could have all of these things , but still , at the end of the day , you have the same 24 hours that everyone else has .
Speaker 1You are in control of your own schedule , tabitha , right , because I have to tell myself this all the time , And so Is it safe to assume that if a person is tired , they might be to that , to their own demise , meaning like there are some people who are tired because they aren't saying no , they're not living with priority , they aren't living with margin . There are certain things . Now , why does this affect the marriage ? Because it's affecting the sex life . Some women are so tired , too tired for sex , too tired to be a helpmate .
Speaker 1Too tired to go on date nights , too tired to communicate at all , and it can get to a really bad place Because . And so what do we do , though ?
Speaker 2I think we have to . I look at this as it's spiritual . it's spirit , body and soul . So we can be tired in these three different areas And they all play in , because you can be spiritually tired and it fall over into your soul , it fall over into your body and now you're stressed out , you're sick . Can ?
Speaker 1we define that for a moment . spiritually tired is probably a person who is not in taking enough of God's word . So the word of God is life , It's spiritual nourishment to us .
Speaker 1And so what it does is it gives a level of energy back , it gives a level of motivation back , and so we need consistently to not just be studying the Bible but also hearing the word of God . And so when we talk about spiritually tired , these are people who , when the Bible says , walk by faith , not by sight . I don't feel like reading another Bible verse , i don't feel like going to small group , i don't feel like going to church . Today I'm just tired . That's it bad place to be in , yeah .
Speaker 2And it's dangerous . And I think you know I don't know if you can tell me , if you agree with this like I feel spiritually tired , like after I preach on a Sunday .
Speaker 1And this is why because the faith that you have , you give to the audience And that's so important when it comes to people who are sitting under the word to always honor your spiritual leadership and do everything that you can to encourage them , pray for them and build them up . Because when I give away and I teach on love , i give my love .
Speaker 2then , I'm very frustrated at everybody , so I gotta go feel myself back up .
Speaker 1If I preach on faith , i give away my faith . Now I feel , oh , fear and doubt creeping in . So I gotta go build myself up by faith . So the gift of communicating is basically so in this podcast , a marriage podcast , i've been more tempted in my marriage and having challenges in my thought life and in our marriage because I'm giving everything that I've learned over 23 years away . I give it away . And now there's something that I have to go and replenish myself again , so good .
Speaker 2And so if you're tired in any area spiritually tired , soulishly tired or physically tired it's probably because you've poured out more than what you put in .
Speaker 1Well , i heard Bill Johnson from Bethel define burnout that way , and people are sometimes like . I'm there afraid of burnout , but this is a simple definition And it registered with me that burnout is simply when you put out more than you put in .
Speaker 1Let me say it again Burnout happens when you just put out more than what you put in , and there's too many people that are putting out more than what they put in . But you putting things into yourself , it does take discipline . It says saying no to some things so that you can say yes to better things . And so so we're breaking it down . So the scripture in 1 Thessalonians 5 says that we are three and one Get something on your lip baby , did you get it ?
Speaker 2You got it Okay .
Speaker 1It says that was it there for a while It just no , I just saw it .
Speaker 2Okay , so if you see , anything I'm not gonna do , no , I'm gonna get you . I got you back , baby .
Speaker 1So the scripture says that we're three and one , just like God is three and one Father , son , holy Spirit . We're spirit , soul and body . So we are spirit , we have a soul and we live in a body . The soulless part of us is I like to call it our mind , our will and our emotions , our thinker , our chooser and our filler . And many people are not just physically tired , they're soullessly tired . That means that you are emotionally or mentally tired , and that's a dangerous place to be , can you ?
Speaker 2Oh , absolutely , because we can be . Sometimes again , we pour out so much for other people , so it could be our mother and we're praying with our mom and believe in for our mom because she's got something going on Our children , like we pour out , we teach our children the word and we teach them faith . But if our kid's not feeling good , that's emotional . We're taking them to the doctor , we're giving them their medicine . That's emotional On the job . If you have a promotion that you're contending with or it's just there's pressure on the job , that can be emotional as well . And so if we don't have an outlet for these things , like if one of the things that we do very well is when we've had an emotional day or a stress day , like we talk to each other about it And that's a form of therapy .
Speaker 1I had one yesterday And so I got a little hobby on the side where I'm buying some homes and I'm turning them around Actually done one , so it's just in the beginning process And I kind of had some problems with it . I had some problems with the permitting and things were happening And I just came home and it was good to be able to say , ah , this sucks .
Speaker 1This was unexpected , this is scary , but I gotta work through it . And what I thought was gonna be this home run now it was gonna maybe cost me thousands and take three extra months . And then you begin to breathe life into it Like man . Just believe that when you go down to the city , god has divine people for you to connect with . Just believe , if you have to meet with another appraiser , another contractor , whoever you gotta meet with , that God's hand is on this And that he will use all of this so you know what not to do in the future .
Speaker 1And those things built me up emotionally And I think it's so important , especially with God's , that we are aware of our emotional health and our mental health . I know a lot of people are talking about a mental health , but you're emotionally , your mental health are so closely intertwined , because many times when we talk about mental health , we're talking about emotional health . We're talking about the fact that you're under pressure and that you're gaslighting or you're deflecting and you're not self aware , or you're exploding or you're imploding , and we really need to build ourselves up in emotional health .
Speaker 1And I feel like for a lot of guys . We're just tired too . We're tired of the fight . We're tired of trying to do right , but we're tired of being overlooked . We're tired of being undervalued . We're tired of being unseen . We're just tired of having to pay these bills .
Speaker 2And here comes another one , and it's an emotional thing .
Speaker 2It's not even physical , i feel like with men . And so part of the answer to all of this you know , of being tired when it comes to spiritual , emotional life spiritually , emotionally at least is to talk about it and to have conversations and to be built back up . So last night all I did was begin to release faith , and that's more of a spiritual you know , impartation , a spiritual building up . I was just reminding you of the gospel and what God says . So you need to have people in your life who will speak life into your situation . First of all , and second of all , kind of at the same time , you need to be willing , especially men , to be able to speak about your situation , to talk , to open up about it , and it's like getting a friend , you know , even if it's one person , it's a mentor , it's a pastor at your church , it's your group leader .
Speaker 2Well , if you're married , the hope is that your spouse is your best friend first , it's your spouse and your best friend .
Speaker 1Okay now if you're single , yeah , hopefully you can have an accountability partner , a best friend , a relative that's mature in the faith that you can open up to these things Absolutely .
Speaker 2And you don't need everybody , but you do need a few people . Yeah , because you can't tell everyone , but I find that often one conversation .
Speaker 1one conversation . I mean . I'm built for the fight , i'm made for hard things , but everybody gets the wind knock out of them every once in a while , especially if you're building anything of value . You know , this podcast is released now . what people don't know is we started working on this probably a year and a half , two years ago , and so you have to be willing to fight through the process Absolutely Without allowing yourself to throw in the towel and quitting .
What about you ? Do you get emotionally tired ? I do . In which way ?
Speaker 2I get emotionally tired Sometimes . I mean , if I were to give you an example with my health , sometimes I'm emotionally tired . So , you know , i've overcome breast cancer and I'm so happy about that , I'm so pleased with that , but it's just like the aftermath . Like I had a hysterectomy , you know I , and so I found myself being just emotionally tired of like , oh my gosh , you know , okay , i have to deal with this or so like I had to schedule a doctor appointment because I had a double mastectomy And I have to go in so that they can , you know , just make sure everything's going like regular appointments and things . But I got a little scar tissue that's going on from where I had radiation and stuff , and I found myself just it's , it's emotionally , it's emotionally exhausting . He resigned and now I don't have a doctor .
Speaker 1I got to go find a doctor , then I got to battle with my insurance . But what I'm trying to do , right now with this is normalize it . Yeah because I think people are tired , because sometimes they feel like it's just me . I'm the only one that got kids and bills and problems and challenges .
Speaker 2No that's like life .
Speaker 1Let's normalize it , and you've been built for this . You can do it . His grace is sufficient for you , But you were just saying other areas that you feel emotionally tired in .
Speaker 2So your health , yeah health and it could be . No , I mean that's , but that's a great example . It's just like I can sit there is like , okay , I acknowledge , okay , this is really frustrating . I just don't need to like dealing with this right now , But it's okay . I mean , other people are dealing with worse things , but I'm going to acknowledge this and I'm going to cast my cares to the Lord and we're going to move on . But when it comes to children , you know whether I mean we have a 17 year old , 13 year old and a 12 year old . They're all in different phases of life . Man , I'm so tired of telling the youngest one to brush their teeth . Oh my gosh , Like emotional exhaust and burnt out . Okay , Up telling you to clean your room .
Speaker 2I don't even care , i looked at one of our kids last night . Babe and I looked at their bed and the sheet they got . I buy white sheets for their bed Right The sheet looked like it was beyond brown Listen .
Speaker 1I told that I am highly offended . I told that kid before you said that I had already been on .
Speaker 2Are you serious ? I took a video of it .
Speaker 1I took a video of it yesterday .
Speaker 2I am , and it looked like a trash . I am offended that that sheet is in my house .
Speaker 1I went to the kid and I said to this kid , i said this you don't want to be nasty when you grow up . I said your room is nasty . You got this over here , this over here , all these bottles , all these you got . you can't put stuff in the hamper . This is nasty .
Speaker 2I didn't even know you did that . You don't want to be that nasty .
Speaker 1And then I seen you come the next day and say , yeah , it's confirmation , but you can get tired of that , though . Yeah , i'm just tired of it . You feel like you're feeling better right now , just talking .
Speaker 2I am . I feel good that you went in before me and I'm like see , that's what I'm talking about .
Speaker 1I feel vindicated .
Speaker 2But yeah , it's so . yeah , those things are taxing . They're just emotionally taxing . It's just kind of be like all day , every day is the same thing , But we can overcome it's perspective .
Speaker 1So you got three in one . You got being spiritually tired , getting the word of God , build yourself up in spiritual things . That's a lifelong thing .
Speaker 2That's not a one time thing .
Speaker 1Right now I could use a little bit of that . I've been pouring out a lot . I did six services at Easter . Jumped on top leadership school jumped on , did a podcast , prepared for it . I mean , that's been my week . I was asking my friends after Easter . I said Hey man , where are you ? How was Easter ? Oh , i'm in the Cayman Islands , oh , i'm in Miami . I'm like , what am I doing ? I'm teaching leadership school and preparing for a podcast . This is crazy .
Speaker 1I felt the same way You got to know how to pour back in spiritually .
Speaker 1Absolutely , then you got to have to build yourself up and not be tired emotionally . I think we're going to give some people some keys here at the end of this , but I think physical tiredness is a real thing as well . Honestly , sometimes we just need to plan rest and sleep . We need to take a nap , we need to do something we enjoy , take a bubble bath . We need to go on walks in the park and breathe deeply , turn off our notifications . The team told me before we did this podcast there was this thing that kept dinging . In the last podcast I was like , hey , would you turn off your ding ? And it was like well , now Apple has it so You can hit notify that person , even if it's on the phone . It's on silence . What The devil is a liar Like if I got my phone on silence ?
Speaker 1I don't wanna hear a ding , but that's how connected we are and it's tiring . It's tiring always being connected to everybody and every voice It's physically tiring .
Speaker 2It's like impossible , though You know what I mean It's impossible . So when we grew up , there was no technology like this , and if you needed to contact someone , it was never an emergency .
Speaker 1Honestly , i love technology , i love podcast , social media , everything we get to do But there's a part of me that wishes things were still like that , because it was simpler and it was more refreshing . Ignorance is bliss sometimes .
Speaker 2Yeah , there wasn't as much pressure . You weren't expected to pick up the phone every time someone calls .
Speaker 1Right , right , right . So I got five keys to overcoming tiredness .
Speaker 2And I guess we'll put them all together .
Speaker 1Let's hear it , You ready One is acknowledge it or admit it . Can you talk about that at all ?
Speaker 2Yeah , i think it really helps . I know , the other night I don't know , maybe last week sometime I was feeling completely exhausted . Don't know what I was doing . I'm gonna start a new diet , started a new exercise , whatever . But I was done at the end of the day And it was probably like seven o'clock . I was ready , i was on my way to bed and I came home and I knew not that I had a bad attitude , but it wasn't gonna be good . If you want me to do something , I weren't gonna get the best tap with her . And I remember I told the kids I said hey , y'all , i'm really tired right now . It's early , but I'm about to go to bed . Do you need anything ? Okay , because mommy's going to bed . And I went upstairs to bed and I remember you came here and I told you I am exhausted , honey . And I probably told you like , yeah , my attitude isn't good .
Speaker 1I think you do that a lot . Really , I hear that a lot . I mean , I think it was just a couple of days ago . You were in the kitchen and you were getting snappy and getting frustrated And then you said hey guys , I'm frustrated because I ain't eight yet , Or I think you're doing a keto diet or something like that And I'm just frustrated And I think it's good to acknowledge and admit it , because then that helps you say this is where I am , It's not where I want to stay .
Speaker 1But then it also helps the people that you live with to say this is not the normal .
Speaker 2This is what I'm going through .
Speaker 1I just feel like acknowledging it , admitting it , I'm tired and it's okay . What am I gonna do ?
Speaker 2I'm tired . You often feel isolated and alone And people get on your nerves . You feel like you don't know what I'm going through , you don't know this , you don't know that , and if someone comes to you , you're like , oh , i get , you know . you blow up because it's just like . But when you allow people in your world , you become a team , and so when I say , kids , you know what , i'm just hungry and you know whatever . Now they've , i've included them in on my team and they know it And so they'll sensitive them up . Our oldest started talking to me and saying , oh , and asking me questions and being nice to me . It changed everything . The other two don't get it there , yeah , so , like , i let you know upfront because I don't want you to think I'm being rude to you or like what's wrong with her . I want you to know . No , this is personal , it has nothing to do with you , and you helped me .
Speaker 1The second one I would say would be to reprioritize your life , oh yeah . You know , the second key to overcoming being tiredness . tiredness is that you need to maybe reprioritize . I mean that you might have prioritized before , but in every season you might need to look and reprioritize . Yeah , what would you say to that ?
Speaker 2I would say , and even examine your life , examine your schedule . There's probably 10 things that you can cut out of your schedule . What I learned and I constantly do this , though I always usually I plan too much in one day and you end up stressed out because you're left with all of these things that you didn't do Be simple . I don't plan more than three things in my day , like three important things . So I would be like , okay , i'm gonna go to Target , i'm gonna go grocery store , i'm gonna take the kids to get their dentist appointment , and then I'm gonna squeeze in an appointment . That's just not gonna happen . You're gonna end up frustrated and mad at the end of the day .
Speaker 1I would say sometimes you just need one major thing , one major thing That you're gonna accomplish . Cause out of five days , that would be five great accomplishments .
Speaker 2Great accomplishments .
Speaker 1I will see you do that , and I would always think that this is completely un-executable . And what happens is , if you continue to think that you can do too much in a day , everything feels like a fail .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1And it's so discouraging .
Speaker 2And so I try not to do that . I have a propensity to do that , but I know that about myself and I try to stay away from that . I would also say reprioritize and examine your relationships . Sometimes we're just in relationships and they are pulling , pulling , pulling , taking , taking , taking . It's so frustrating And you're drained by the end of the day because of some of the relationships , the friendships that we have , and sometimes there are family members , our brothers and sisters , our mothers and fathers , our coworkers . You have to re-examine relationships .
Speaker 1Every relationship in your life will either add , subtract , multiply or divide , and it's your responsibility to figure out which one That's so good ?
Speaker 1And the people who divide you or subtract to you . you need to put them on the outer court and you need to put people on the inner court to add to you and then multiply you . And everybody's a carrier of energy . And I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine and he's been off and on with his baby's momma's for a while And I was just like y'all got two different energies .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Your energies are different And you need to make sure that you find somebody that matches your energy . It's always a fight because y'all go in two different directions . You got two different passions for God , two different perspectives of everything . Your energy is off And I think that when you really look at these relationships , there are people that are in your inner circle that should be in the outer court or in your life altogether , and I don't think we deal with that well , especially if it's an auntie , uncle , cousin , mama , sister , friend . You still owe it to God and yourself and your calling to figure out where these people fall .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 1And then cause . every relationship is either for a season or reason or a lifetime , And many times we have people in our life that should be there for a season but we haven't for a lifetime , wondering why they get on our last nerve .
Speaker 2Wow .
Speaker 1And so you just have to continue to adjust , reprioritize , And I always do a triage where I just say what do I have to give my attention ?
Speaker 2to right now .
Speaker 1Today , this week , what is the major things in my life that if I did these top one , two or three things would move the ball , would move the needle , everything else . I know that I'm in high demand but I can't do all of that . but I have to do those things so that I'm not just spinning the wheels And I think that's huge to get out of being tired . But number three , i would have live with margin . live with margin , and this is just a huge one for me . So you need to live with margin financially , meaning that you shouldn't spend everything you make , but you also need margin in your time .
Speaker 2That's good .
Speaker 1And that's a single second of every single day probably doesn't need an activity Or you need to obey the law of rest . Out of seven days , one day should be a set aside for replenishment , but could you have anything on that Living with margin ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I think that's so important And it's kind of like what I was saying is just trying to pack in so many things a day . We think we're doing ourselves a favor because we can check something off the to-do list , when actually it's just working against us . I think there are so many things that we can say no to Like . No , I can't go to that birthday party . No , I can't go to that wedding . No , I can't go to this .
Speaker 1But why don't people say no ?
Speaker 2I think they feel obligated , They feel like they need to go and again , it's that nurturing part of a woman Like I need to go . Support
that . You know graduations , our daughter's graduating . Do you know how many other people we know that are gonna graduate this year from college and high school ? Do you mean to tell me , with my three kids and my job and everything else I got going on my world , I have to go to every graduation that I've been invited to ?
Speaker 1It is impossible , honestly It's impossible . But there are people who don't know when to say no , like there are some people who get married and I just can't go to their wedding .
Speaker 2It's not that I don't love them , it's not that I don't wanna be there , it just wouldn't be healthy for me to go to a wedding every weekend , Even financially .
Speaker 1It's amazing the people who can't say no Like I remember one of my best friends got married when . I first started our church And I just couldn't get back to Washington .
Speaker 2DC .
Speaker 1Not because I didn't want to , i didn't have the finances to do it , and so I think there's something powerful about knowing when to say no , and then , if people really love you , they'll be able to handle your no . But that's much better than like being manipulated , and people don't mean to manipulate you , so let's not call it that . Let's call it just this outside pressure Cause sometimes the pressure is self induced . You feel like you gotta be there for everybody , cause they was there for you , and I don't know if that's necessary .
Speaker 2But sometimes that outside pressure in my life I let it be Because their priorities are not my priorities . You might go get your spend and max out your credit card to get on a plane and fly somewhere , but my priority I don't . I'm not gonna do that .
Speaker 1I just had a vision of the people that are saying no to God so they can say yes to a relative . People are saying no to serving in God's house or obeying what God's called them to do so they can say yes to an auntie and uncle or sister or brother and their priorities are not the priorities of the kingdom . And I think if you seek first the kingdom of God , god gonna take care of that . Years ago I got out of having the God complex where I'm not trying to be God for anybody .
Speaker 1So I don't feel like I need to like , even financially . people have a problem like well , i got this bill , i got this bill . Well , i might help you if I can , but I'm not gonna try to break the bank for where you are right now , and if you got a problem with me , that's your problem .
Speaker 2It's not my problem , that's your problem .
Speaker 1Make your problem my problem . I just think that knowing no because that's what margin is It's saying no to some things so that you can say yes to better things . So in my schedule , like I'm an introvert , I know that I get replenished by being by myself . I need a book , I need some headphones , I need a walk , I need some alone time And the time that I'm most tired is when my schedule is so demanding of me that I don't have any walks in the park .
Speaker 1I don't have any just time with the word or time with myself , and so for me , it's not even what is it when it's a suggestion or a possibility , it's a mandate I have to have margin in my schedule or I will not be my best self .
Speaker 2And I think you know a trick that I do and that I've done I don't even have to do it now because I kind of do it naturally is that I look at my calendar and I put in like we have family nights on Saturday , that's there . I put in date night , that's already there , and so I block out times to be with my family , and so when those extracurricular things come in , like weddings and things like that , i look at my family time like , if it's a Saturday , if my whole family's not going , no , i can't do the wedding because this is my family time . Is that wedding so important that it's gonna pull me away from my kids ?
Speaker 1Sometimes it is , but many times it's not .
Speaker 2Sometimes it is but you've placed it already as a priority Every Saturday . Surely it can't be . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1All right , we'll move on to number four would be know what gives you energy and invest in it .
Speaker 2You know we're doing five keys to overcoming being tired .
Speaker 1You gotta know what brings you energy , and I don't know where you get energy from .
Speaker 2I get energy from . I like to be by myself as well .
Speaker 1Like .
Speaker 2I just need to be alone . That's why I take bubble baths . Bubble bath , hot water , epsom salt .
Speaker 1And I just got her a new bathtub , by the way .
Speaker 2Essential oils yeah , now , you did go on that one , That one right there . Maybe that was the best . And so I like to take bubble baths almost every night . I take a bubble bath because I'm alone And I just love it . It's enjoying and , you know , it's relaxing .
I like to exercise . I don't do group exercises because I it's alone time for me again . So I used to be a runner and I'm working on biking now because my body is changing And so now I'm really excited about going on bike rides . It's like the best thing ever .
Speaker 2And it brings you energy , yeah , and it brings me energy , gives me life . I like being outdoors .
Speaker 1Yeah , for me , exercise brings me energy . Alone time with God , of course , brings me energy .
Speaker 1Anything that I do outdoors brings me energy , Um , and I like being around people that I know really love me , Yeah , like inner circle people . That brings me energy . Not a lot of them , though , like just a few of them at a time , just because of my personality . Build above that , if I get to certain numbers up it becomes work . Then it becomes more tiresome . But anyway , the point is to know what brings you energy , whether it's golfing , whether it's fishing whether it's a massage or whether it's yeah whether it's just know what pours back into you , what's life giving , and then put those as priorities in your calendar .
Speaker 1For example , you're an artist . When's the last time you draw ? I ? know , Yeah , and I know , you know , but you once again , if that's , but maybe it doesn't give you energy like it used to give you energy And now you got to go for what gives you the most energy .
Speaker 1But what I'm saying is that , whatever those things are , make them important in your schedule , and I'll go for number five . All right is , do the natural , okay . And when you're tired , maybe you need to lose weight , maybe you need to sleep more maybe better maybe you need to cut out coffee , maybe you need to cut out alcohol . There's some things . Supplements , take supplements . We are big on what is it Faith plus works . No , it's what is it works plus faith , or faith without works is dead .
Speaker 2That's the sort of this over and over again .
Speaker 1It's been a long day . Faith without works is dead being alone . So it's not just the faith part , there is some natural part here And I just feel like there's a lot of people physically tired because they are out of shape .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1I'm not saying you have to be an Olympian .
Speaker 2And it's not pointing the finger and blaming because I'm out of shape right now And I don't know what to do .
Speaker 1Yeah , i am in the least shape that I've been in in a couple of years Because of some things that happened and then got busy and didn't feel good , something had happened . Something had happened , so yeah , Yeah Well , i just I didn't feel well , and then this happened , this happened , this happened , this happened , and that's what that's life , that happens , it is . But I'm not going to stay there . So this week I exercise five , five days a week . This last week Wow , Come on . Talk about that now , Come on baby .
Speaker 1Come on , man , what you done done .
Speaker 2Hey , I've been on my bike .
Speaker 1You've been on your bike , don't play with me .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1I've been like . she came to me and said can I have $200 ? I said what you going to do with $200 ? I'm going to buy a bike , said your bike going to be raggedy for $200 .
Speaker 2You did say that Why are you going ?
Speaker 1to buy a $200 bike , Because nice bikes cost like a thousand up to $6,000 .
Speaker 2I was shocked that a bike cost that much , But I didn't want to make an a thousand dollar investment like $1,500 investment on the electric bike that I want , But yeah , I didn't . I'm just like , let me make sure I really want this . So this is like a two month test trial .
Speaker 1Okay , well , i appreciate it . You know , when I'm tired , many times I go to the doctor and my adrenal glands are broken .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And they always give me things . This is like my normal thing . I go to the doctor up your adrenals are messed up . Up . You need some adrenal supplements Up your adrenals . So whatever I do in my profession , my personality , I burn out my adrenal glands And I always need help to make sure that those , because if those adrenal glands aren't right , my sleep's not going to be right And I'm always going to be tired . So you need to check your thyroid , you need to check your adrenal glands You need to check your hormones .
Speaker 2You need to get good sleep , i usually run low on B12 . Okay , and so I go every other month to get a B12 shot . I'm actually do one this Monday .
Speaker 1I don't say , i ain't seen you out there .
Speaker 2Yeah , But yeah , there's just you have to know your body and know what works for you .
Speaker 1And I think , one of the , if I had to give you the bonus , the keys , praise God to overcoming tiredness . One of the major keys here's the bonus .
Speaker 2What's the bonus ?
Speaker 1Is receiving the joy of the Lord . Amen , because the joy , the anointing of joy , remember Nehemiah says the joy of the Lord is your strength . Yeah , when you feel tired and beat up by life , if you can receive the joy of the Lord , it will bring new life , it will give you strength .
Speaker 2And so .
Speaker 1I think , studying about the joy of the Lord , reading books on the joy of the Lord , shameless plug . We did a 15 part series called the trip . If you go over to mylivechurchorg you can check out that series .
Speaker 1And it was all about maintaining , obtaining and maintaining the supernatural joy of the Lord . It will give you strength . That's good . Hey , we're out of time for today . I hope you guys enjoyed our episode .
Speaker 1I feel like I want to pray for you , those of you all who are watching this and you have been tired . You've been tired spiritually , you've been tired emotionally , you've been tired physically . Don't get weary and well doing for induced season . You shall read . If you do not faint , don't give up , don't throw in the towel . We want to pray for you , father , in Jesus name . I pray for all of our friends and family that is watching this message or the segment , that have been just tired , exhausted , feeling like giving up . I pray that they have a new wind underneath their wings . I pray for new refreshings . The time of refreshing comes from the presence of the Lord . I pray for the outpour of the oil of joy on their life right now , and so we just thank you that you give them wisdom and great grace to know what they need to do naturally , but also to believe you supernaturally . We call you healed , we call you whole in Jesus name .
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