Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We want to do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . What's up everybody ? Hey , everyone Glad to have you guys joining us for Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha .
Speaker 1We are so pumped that you're here and thankful that you're tuning in . Today we have some life-changing content . We really believe that . I mean that with every fiber of my being . We have some life-changing content , and so I'm Ken . This is Tabitha Been , married 24 years . We have this podcast , hopefully to add value to the people who watch it and listen to it , to help you grow closer to God and closer to the people that God has brought into your life , and so on . Today , our topic is going to be 10 common lies about sexuality and the freedom that is found in truth . Today is one of those truth-giving segments that you're gonna wanna share with relatives , family members , friends . If you're new to our podcast , hit the subscribe button so that you can be the first to get the content . Email us , let us know what you get out today's segment . I believe it's gonna add tons of value to your life , and so , sweetheart , are you ready for this one ?
Speaker 1Absolutely 10 common lies about sexuality .
Speaker 2I wanna know .
Speaker 1What do you think about that title ?
Speaker 2first off , I think it draws me in . Okay , I'm curious I wanna know what those lies are .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , because we don't wanna live life based upon a lie . Okay , we wanna live life based upon truth .
Speaker 2I'm kind of like a self-help kind of person , like those are the books I like to read . I would buy that book .
Speaker 1Okay , all right , good , well , we got some good stuff . Then we got a couple goals for you guys today . We wanna help you identify the lies of our day and replace them with truth . That's one goal for today . We wanna provide off-ramps for anybody who's been looking for them , especially when it comes to sexuality . There's a lot of people who are involved in things that they don't wanna be in any longer , and the Holy Spirit is leading them out . We wanna give you off-ramps and we wanna give you truth and love . You know , a lot of people are giving truth , but it doesn't have love and a lot of people loving people without giving them the truth . Love is the secret ingredient . It is the secret ingredient to what Everything . Praise God , all right , and so this show is best coupled together with a segment that we dropped last week , and it was called sexual sins and how to avoid them , or something like that . Okay , do y'all remember what it was called ?
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , Is that right ?
Speaker 1Sexist sins yeah , something like that . It was like that , so y'all look at it . Y'all know where it is all right . Now , if you're really hungry for this kind of teaching , we did a full series , a non-part series , at a live church I think the website will be in the show notes mylifeturchorg and look for a series called Sex God's Way G-W-God's Way , okay , and in nine weeks we laid out all kinds of things about overcoming temptation , getting free from pornography , sexual immorality and how to find freedom from it , and so you can get a full list of things in that series if you want more of this . But I'm telling you , today is gonna have a punch of its own , all right , and so is there ever been a time where you feel like you have believed a lie ? Later on , you found out that wasn't even the truth and you believed a lie .
Speaker 2I'm sure , I'm sure there's several times .
Speaker 1Okay , any come to mind .
Speaker 2Let me think . I don't know , none's coming to mind right now , but I used to believe a lot of crazy stuff .
Speaker 1We'll give me some of the crazy stuff .
Speaker 2I didn't grow up in church or anything like that . So I mean , I used to believe in like what do they call old wives tales , not that , but like superstitions .
Speaker 1Okay , like black cats , yeah , black cats were unlucky , right .
Speaker 2And so like I grew up in the hood and like , if a cat , I was just afraid of cats , period . So if a cat came around , we took off running . Like , okay , I believe that bats were bad luck . So if a bat came , we took off running . I believed if you stepped on a crack you break your mother's back . Like I remember as a kid we would jump over the cracks like a lot of stuff like that , just out of curiosity .
Speaker 1what do you believe now ? Cause some people that's a bunch of- nonsense .
Speaker 2I don't believe that at all . I mean I used to be . I grew up like knock on wood and you go knocking on wood cause I thought that you know you had to knock on wood so you would have good luck .
Speaker 1A lot of people do superstitions . A lot of sports players still do superstitions . But when we got saved , we just knew that the blessing overrode every superstition .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1And so there's no weapon that will form against the possible . The blessing breaks the curse , yeah and so if there's a broken window , that doesn't come no curse comes on me , cause I'm too blessed to be cursed , et cetera . Anything else , though , come to mind . Go down , go away .
Speaker 2Okay , okay , do you have specifics ? What did you believe ?
Speaker 1about God , so you didn't get saved till you were 22 . What did you believe about God ?
Speaker 2I don't know if I believed a lot about God . I guess I thought that there was God was good and the devil was bad . Now I knew more about the devil and believed more things about the devil and was influenced more by the devil than what I was God .
Speaker 1What does that mean ?
Speaker 2Meaning that my , whether my , the people who raised me , they would say , tabby , you better be good or the devil's gonna get you . And I'd be like , oh , the devil's gonna get me . So they made much of the devil . Yeah , they made , yeah , the devil . It was all about the devil when we watch horror stories and the exorcist and all those kinds of things , and so I was motivated to do the right thing or I thought the devil was gonna get me , wow , wow .
Speaker 1Okay . Well , if you're a note taker , listening or watching , write this down . If you're going to be free , you have to walk in truth . But you cannot walk in truth if you believe lies . So all of those things that you were told were lies , and I think that we've all . If we really look back not to just put you on the spot we could think of lies that we've believed , whether it's been lies about white people , lies about black people , lies about immigrants , lies about how to handle money , lies about church , lies about organized religion lies , lies , lies , lies lies .
Speaker 1I mean , if we really think about it , there's been lies that we've believed about ourselves , that we're not good enough , that we're not tall enough , that we're too fat , that we're too short , that we're not smart enough , Even people who I know , some people who grew up with a speech impediment and they believed the lie that they were dumb , only to find out later that they were super intelligent . And so we have to replace lies with the truth . But here's the thing the best lies seem like the truth .
Speaker 2I'm remembering all the lies now . Now you got the lie .
Speaker 1If you've been lied to and you remember the lie , put it in the comment .
Speaker 2Oh , my goodness the best lies , listen , sound like truths .
Speaker 1They're not a full lie . The best lies are like a perversion of the truth . They're like a half truth . They have just enough leaven in the lump to make it sound right , even though it's wrong . And that's what Satan does best . And so he's a liar all right , and I feel like God is asking us today , in this podcast , to make much of the truth , to embrace the truth , to actually search for the truth . You know there's a lot of people . They deflect the truth or they knock down the truth or they wanna live life based upon their truth . But our truth is a lie and the only way that we can embrace truth is that we embrace his word .
Speaker 2So good .
Speaker 1And so what does the Bible say about truth ? I'm gonna read a few scriptures . Tell me what sticks out . John 14 , six says Jesus answered I am the way , the truth and the life . Then he says no man comes to the Father except by me . What jumps out to you about from John 14 , anything ?
Speaker 2Jesus is the way , the truth and the lie . If we're searching for truth , truth , go and find him . Find .
Speaker 1Jesus Find Jesus , so he actually calls himself the truth , the truth , the truth .
Speaker 2So the truth has a name .
Speaker 1Yeah , well , we know him as good shepherd . We know him as high priest , redeemer , savior , king of king , lord of lords , but I don't know if we've ever parked on the fact that he is the truth . And so all spiritual truths start with Jesus .
Speaker 1And if there's ever a spiritual truth that you start to believe that is not founded in Jesus . You're starting to believe a lie , because it's only him who is true . Listen to this one John 16 , 13 . But when he , the spirit of truth , comes , he will guide you into all truth . He will not speak of his own . He will speak only what he hears . He will tell you what's to come , what sticks out to you from John 16 .
Speaker 2I mean , what a great example to go by , in that the spirit of truth is only gonna tell you the truth , not his truth , but God's truth , like it's modeled and displayed before us .
Speaker 1Well , that's why we need the Holy Spirit .
Speaker 1I know there's some sections of Christianity that they kind of reject the Holy Spirit . They kind of make them like a distant third cousin in the Trinity and they don't really know he is the spirit of truth . And the Holy Spirit is that goose bump feeling that you get . That's not the air condition , that's the Holy Spirit . It's the part of God that is with us in the earth . But he's called once again in his name . He is the spirit of truth . Spirit of truth , the spirit of truth . So two thirds of the Godhead father , son , and the Holy Spirit has truth inside of his title or inside of his name or inside of his attributes , and that's how important truth is to God . Now , john 17 , 17 says this sanctify them by your truth . Your word is truth . What sticks out to you , john 17 , 17, . Sanctify them .
Speaker 1I love this by your truth . Your word is truth .
Speaker 2The fact that I can be sanctified by the truth .
Speaker 1You know like we try .
Speaker 2so , like I don't know , I like to be good . You know , I'm kind of like that personality , like I just want to do the right thing . Even if it hurts , I still want to do the right thing . That's just what I'm made of . But the fact that I can go to the truth and that will sanctify me , that that will set me apart .
Speaker 1Well , I ain't trying to get like super deep , but the word holy is the word sanctified , which means set apart , and the scripture says be holy as he is holy . I cannot be holy if I don't have truth , because I'm only made holy by truth . I'm not made holy by lies , I'm only made holy by truth . And then it tells us where to go for truth . It says that his word is truth and that's why people are being fought for their Bible nowadays , and you know who's fighting Really . You know what the biggest fight for the Bible is right now I don't even want to know , it's our intellect .
Speaker 1We live in an information age and we think we're so smart and we studied other books that contradict his book . We've heard other , we've went to other classes . Actually , there's secular universities . Some of them have made pledges to themselves to try to take religion from freshmen as they enter into college .
Speaker 1Trying to take your mom and dad's religion from you , and so what they try to do is discredit the Bible , and that's Satan's main plan . Now think about this . I think it's Ephesians six that talks about the full armor of God . I think it's Ephesians six , and it talks about the sword of the spirit . You got one offensive weapon . You got all these other defensive weapons . You got the one offensive weapon . If the devil takes your one offensive weapon , how bad can you beat him ? So he's after the sword of the spirit . He wants to discredit the Bible . He wants to tell you that it's been written by men , that it's been changed by men , that it has contradictions in its era . It's all a lie , for the word of God is . God breathed and God inspired . Jesus was actually the manifestation of the word and the beginning was the word . The word was with God and the word was God , and so he watches over his word to perform it and I want us to hopefully somebody's hearing this .
Speaker 1You got to put an emphasis back on the word Go to your Bible , because without it , you don't have truth , and so if you just make up , well , I just believe , where'd you get that from ? Well , that's just how I feel . No , go to the Bible because his word is true . Well , I just think this about money and people just want your money at the churches . No , where'd you get that from ? You made that up .
Speaker 2Did somebody told you that Did they want your money ?
Speaker 1at the publics ? Did they want it at the grocery store ? No , you just stingy . You don't want to give nothing up . God gave you everything .
Speaker 2They're giving 10% , ain't nothing .
Speaker 1So you got a lot of there .
Speaker 2You need truth .
Speaker 1Okay , you got to go to his work . So anytime I want to know about dating , go to the Bible . When I want to know about marriage , go to the Bible . When I want to know about sexuality , I can't live life based upon how I feel . I have to go to the word , for his word is truth , and so , with that being said , we're looking for truth today . All right , and what we understand about Satan is that he is the what Father of lies , and he lies about everything . What are some of the most common lies he's told you ?
Speaker 2That I am not enough not worthy just not smart , gonna die . God doesn't love me . You're not important , no one will miss you . Lies .
Speaker 1Well , he comes at you with a lot of self-hate , so I'm sorry about that .
Speaker 2What lies , has the devil told you .
Speaker 1Oh man , I can't even think of them cause they dumb and I just cast them down . He just tells me that you should be further along than where you are . Nobody really cares about you . People can't really be trusted . You do all this . Nobody even notices what you do . What lies has he told me before ? Just every lie you could probably think of . You know I'm saying like it's a lot .
Speaker 2We all get a little bit of the same thing , but our personality or history or background , right , you know he , the devil , knows where I come from , right , you know what I mean . He knows us . You know he's been around a long time and so if he's gonna , you know , if he's gonna come at me with a good negative thought , with a good lie , like you said , the lie sounds like the true . With a good one , he's gonna go back down my history line .
Speaker 2Yeah , back to when I was a child and maybe I was used and abused and you know Mis-treated , and he's gonna bring up that point and that's what he's gonna speak to me .
Speaker 1You know , second Corinthians , chapter 2 , talks about how we are not Gonna be out with it by Satan , because we know the tactics of the enemy or the schemes of the enemy , Absolutely and I think there's a lot of people that don't know that he's a fat liar .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm , that's what he does . He's a big fat liar .
Speaker 1And that's what he does he just lies , lies , lies , lies lies . The reason that people cheat on their spouse is they believe the lie . The reason that people commit suicide is that they believe the lie . Yeah , the reason that many people are depressed today is because they believe a lie .
Speaker 1They believe there's no better day . They believe they're worth nothing . They believe some lie that somebody else has told them . The reason that people are lonely right now is they believe that they're not worthy or , you know , they don't understand the presence of God . A lot of his tactics . He's not the smartest guy ever , but he has a few tools in his arsenal and his greatest tactic is he's a liar . You ain't never gonna be good and it don't sound like that . It sounds like a truth .
Speaker 1Nobody loves you . Nobody cares about you . You look at you , look at your skin color , look at , look how much money you got in the bank . You don't work at all . You don't gave , gave them people that you don't gave your best . You know you should have never married someone , so your life will never be . Nobody wants you . Your trial Wow , and it comes real settled . But we got to start calling on a lie , a lie , and I've seen you do that over the years yeah well you step up and say that's a lie .
Speaker 2That's a place .
Speaker 1It's true , Yep you know you're gonna die of cancer . That's a lie . I should live and not die . Come on . You live in the works of the Lord , the number of your days you shelf . That's what I'm taking . That lie down and I'm replacing it with the truth .
Speaker 1I hear all the time getting on the plane . This plane is gonna crash . No , uh , that's a lie . No weapon formed against me shall prosper . God is not real . That's a lie . In the name of Jesus , I see God's , the fingerprint of God everywhere . I see him when I look in your eyes . I see him with the lives that are being changed on this podcast . I didn't come from no apes . I didn't come from no explosion . I am the handy work of an intellectual creative , all manifold wisdom . God knew what he was doing when he made us .
Speaker 1Wow so if it's a lie , just call it .
Speaker 2You know the Bible says that it's the the glory of God to conceal a matter . Yeah but it's the honor and the glory of a king or a man to search it out .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2I feel like that's what we're doing right now . Yeah and all of our lives , in every situation . Yeah , search out the truth .
Speaker 1Come on . And so Ephesians 4 15 is kind of our , our Kind of culture scripture . It says instead speak the truth and love .
Speaker 1And that's what we want to try to do today , and so we want to go over 10 common lies about sexuality , and we want to love you enough that we will give you truth . Now , whatever you do with truth , what people who are listening does with truth is between them and God , but our job is to give it to you , and to give it to you in the tone of love , and hopefully you'll get set free . All right . So we're gonna give you some off rams , but here's common lies of our day , are you ?
Speaker 2ready .
Speaker 1All right . So I want , I want to hear what you think .
Speaker 2Okay , number one .
Speaker 1There's no such thing as sexual sin . As long as you're in the loving monogamous relationship , sex is just fine . Okay , we know that that's a lie , absolutely . The Bible says that sex has been created by God For specific purposes , to be enjoyed between a married man and a married woman . Can you talk about that lie ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I think that's a lie that I believed because I didn't know the truth . So I thought that as long as you were in a leash or a relationship , it was it was gonna be a mess up and told you .
Speaker 1Then you wanted to do what was right and I was like no , don't worry about what I said , I was lying on the truth . That's what .
Speaker 2I mean . But it says you know , sometimes we just make up our own , you know truth .
Speaker 2Yeah and my own truth was that that was okay . But if I had you know , but if I didn't have a boyfriend and had you know , then it wasn't okay , or it there was just a lot of you know cuz we you know , there could have been someone who maybe they had sex with multiple partners and did all of these things . Well , that was wrong . But what I'm , what I'm doing , is okay . And how can I judge that person ? Because they did it with more than one person and I'm with just with one person . It just it gets into this thing that it's just so the scriptures clear about this .
Speaker 1It talks about sexual sin . The Bible called sexual immorality . Now , if you've never done a study of sexual immorality , I would encourage our audience just to go in Google what does the Bible say about sex or what does the Bible say about sexual immorality , and you would see there's a list of things that fall under sexual immorality . There is incest . A lot of this is Leviticus 18 , but it's throughout the Bible , leviticus incest , bestiality , fornication , adultery , homosexuality , lust , lust of heart , pornography , just to name a few . Okay , and so this is what we call sexual sin . We don't make it up , god made it up , and so it is a thing and the wages of sin is death .
Speaker 1Okay , here's the second lie , common lie God's purpose for sex Was just for us to reproduce . God's purpose for sex , now , this is this is a lie . Okay , now there are three main reasons that God created sex . Number one was for procreation , so that we could be fruitful and multiply . They are right , but they're they're not complete . Number two it's for Consumption of the marriage .
Speaker 1Okay , and so when a man and woman come together for the first time , a woman hymen , there's , there's blood . That happens . That is a blood covenant , so it's supposed to . If all works well , it's supposed to be a blood covenant between husband and wife . Till death do us part . But the third reason and I'm gonna make this a conjunction and it's gonna be enjoyment and intimacy , because God wants married man and woman to enjoy sex , not just have it , not just to make babies , not just as a mechanical thing . We actually can grow to where I enjoy sex , you enjoy sex because it also leads to greater Intimacy , because without it we can just be roommates . I'm not talking about people who have a physical problem and can't have sex Because we understand .
Speaker 1Love is more than that . But I'm talking about People who aren't having good sex . They're not in tune to one another . You're lacking something in intimacy and I just feel like it's a lie , especially in the church world where it's just like you know . No , if you read the songs of Solomon , it's some good stuff there . Proverbs talks about how you should rejoice in the wife of your youth , and her breast shall satisfy you at all times .
Speaker 1Monday , wednesday , monday , tuesday , wednesday , friday . Come on somebody in the morning , at night , all times her breast should be able to satisfy . That's that speaks of enjoyment .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean , that's one of the things that I pray often and used to pray all the time , even , you know , in our younger years . Is that ? You know , father , thank you , that my breasts satisfy him at all time . I think that he will enjoy the wife of his youth like I prayed the word and that's the word .
Speaker 1Is that still your , your prayer ?
Speaker 2It is , it is . I've got different situations going on right now , but it is still my prayer .
Speaker 1No , it's still a prayer .
Speaker 2Yeah , but even more so now I think of them . Then , yeah , after having a double mastectomy , for those of you who don't know an overcoming breast cancer and and so I have . I have new breasts . Listen , I take what I can get . Praise God , praise the Lord .
Speaker 1It's , you know , if it's , if it's on you , we're gonna . I'm gonna enjoy , enjoy and rejoicing it . Praise God . Anyway . Number three . I'm here's the third line . It's okay to live together before marriage . I mean , come on , we got a tribe before we buy it right . Okay , common lie . It's not true . It's a lot Okay . Studies actually show us that people who live together before they get married get Divorced at a higher rate after they do get married than people who don't live together first . It's just a common lie .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think it's , yeah , it's just , it's just , it just makes good sense honestly also To try and live together and say , well , we're not going to , you know , we're never gonna be on the couch , and you know .
Speaker 1Be what . I'm talking about people living together , acting like they're married . You're thinking about together and you're having sex .
Speaker 2That is you know I . That's not what you're talking about .
Speaker 1I'm just talking about living together . Like I'm not sure what you're talking about Like man and woman living together . Yeah , living together like , like they as if there has been one .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's what I mean .
Speaker 1Okay , I thought you meant like , what did you ? Where are you going with the couch piece ?
Speaker 2I was saying because , well , I was thinking of you know , there are a lot of people who say , well , we're going to get married and we already live together and the situation is crazy . So we're just going to live together for a year and then we'll get married .
Speaker 1Okay .
Speaker 2And they put it's pressure . They mess up left and right because it's hard for them to live together and say we're never going to have sex , even though we're living in the same house and now , all of a sudden , we're going to separate . It's just a hard situation .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's one angle , so the easy thing is just . Yeah , well , I think there's a lot of people living together and having sex because they're in a committed monogamous relationship and they're either scared to get married , have been married before or making up many excuses of why . But that's , it's just not true . You're actually hurting yourself .
Speaker 1Anytime you live in sin , and I mean we did it . I mean I felt like we didn't , like before we got married there was like two or three months there that we lived together and it just in our mind , before Jesus and before living right , it just felt like it's cheaper . We wanted to be together . You know you just come up with all kinds of excuses , but it's just not true . God's way is always better .
Speaker 2Yeah , you're right . I remember thinking it was old fashioned to think you know that you couldn't live together . That's old fashioned .
Speaker 1That's old fashioned . Yeah God , if that was how you thought 20 years ago . Today it's just common .
Speaker 2It's archaic . Now it's a dinosaur .
Speaker 1It makes no sense to get married if you haven't lived together intellectually . It's like why would I go and do this whole wedding and commit to one another ?
Speaker 2Well , let's just test this thing out , and we don't even know if we can live together .
Speaker 1Here's the deal when we take matters into our own hands , our own hands is now responsible for guarding , protecting , nurturing and everything , and that's not the way marriage works . You got to give it over to God and say God , I trust your way is better than my way .
Speaker 2Yeah , you're right .
Speaker 1All right . Number four it would be boring to be just with one person for the rest of your life . La , la , la , la la la . Okay , now , this is funny because many people confuse lust and love , you know . And so if you're just in lust , that's gonna be boring to be with one person , because lust is centered around you and it's all about . Well , I need to get this and I need her to do this and this trick for me , and she's not meeting my needs and he's not meeting my needs because you have self-centered , selfish sex , which is called lust , and lust is always taking , taking , taking . But love , which marriage is supposed to be based on , is always giver , it's always . How can I meet your needs ? What do you need from me ? How can I please you ? Is that good ? Do you like it like this ? Do you like it like that ? And so ?
Speaker 2I don't know . I think that whole boring thing and being with the same person would be boring , like , why would you think that ? Who told you that ? Whose relationship are you looking at and saying , oh , they're boring , I don't wanna be like them ? And so , like I would never think that I'm not a boring person . I'm never bored . I never not have anything to do and I think , like we've been married for 24 years now , I am not bored . Are you bored ?
Speaker 1No , I'm not bored . I just think that it's a common lie , though . Yeah , I mean . Yeah , it is a lie , that's the thing . Lies . Look like the truth .
Speaker 2But it's like you have to challenge those lies Like where do you get that from ?
Speaker 1Well , I would ask the question where do you get it from ? Because I think people think that and I don't think that Some people don't even think where did I get that from ? Yeah , like , what example do you have ? So we can just tell you , you know , as being married 24 years , sex actually gets better the longer you've been married . Would you agree with that ?
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1Why .
Speaker 2I think we know each other better and we kind of I mean we . I think we know each other on an emotional level more as well , physically . So I know how to please you better , you know how to please you know what I like and but on top of that , just emotionally , like man , we've been through some stuff and I feel safe with you .
Speaker 1So you mean like for real , for real .
Speaker 1Like for real , for real Sex is better Now , at year 24 , than 20 and 15 and 10 , and it gets better , yeah , as time goes on , yeah , yeah . I think people need to hear that because they don't understand . I feel like pop culture paints this sex like these two people that just met and they just can't even wait till they get To the bedroom and they're like tearing each other's clothes off as they go up the steps to the apartment and then , when you get married , you go home to your old woman .
Speaker 1So it's almost like this hot , steamy one night stand , two night stands , friends with benefits , and then the people who are married is like they're carrying a ball and chain and it's almost like if you're not careful , this image of what marriage is gets painted as something that's Laborsome and hard and boring , and I used to have fun back in the day . And we're just here to say the devil is a liar not if you're part of our podcast . We're gonna have help . You have great sex .
Speaker 2Yeah , we're gonna get you out on the beach somewhere . We're gonna get you out dancing with like we're gonna have some fun .
Speaker 1You just got to be humble enough to say I don't know what I'm doing .
Speaker 1Yeah , you know , I'm just reading this book about the , the great sex rescue or something , and the woman was given all these surveys and statistics about women who are not having good sex and it's well her , the first part of the book . It's kind of jabby , it's kind of shooting at man a little bit , but I was trying to take the meat , leave the bones and basically it was that a lot of men are just going to get their needs met and women don't even know that they have needs that could be met and some don't even believe they can have an Orgasm , don't even know what kind of orgasm they could have , and have almost believed the lie . Well , either , sex is not supposed to be pleasurable , so let me just meet his needs . And all of it's a lie . All of it's a big fat lie . And I should be meeting your needs , you should be meeting my needs and there are certain Medical things . But majority of people can have orgasm if it's , if you find the spot and know what to do and do it right , and so I don't know . That's a whole nother podcast . Well , it's just lies . It's lies , it's lies , it's lies .
Speaker 1Number number five here's a lie . This is very common out there . This is who I am . I can't change . I mean , this is who I am , this is . I'm involved in this sexual immoral behavior or this sexually Sinful lifestyle , and it's just who I am . And the truth is is that we can all change and there's absolutely Nothing too hard for the Lord . I live the life of sexual immorality for many years . I cherished my sexual immorality , I protected it , I made excuses for it . But , honestly , god's word yeah demanded a change and I've changed so much as a human being . You've changed so much as a human being , and Jesus and his power does change us .
Speaker 2Oh , okay , can you speak to that at all ? Yeah , I think change is possible , like you said , and the problem is it's gonna be hard for us to change without Jesus . Yeah , when there are things that are so deep rooted in us , I don't think I could have overcome depression without Jesus . Yeah , I was depressed . I was diagnosed depressed at 12 years old and I had been sexually abused , physically abused , verbally abused . There was a lot of Things going on in my life in my childhood death of my father and my grandmother , who was like a mother to me , and domestic violence and all this stuff made such an impact in my life that it became an unbearable burden for me to carry and I became , in my early 20s , dysfunctional , depressed , and I tried therapy and and and drugs and you know , medication and all of this stuff to overcome . But it just it was so deep rooted in me . I'd been so broken and so wounded , so scarred . I needed a god To help me out of it .
Speaker 2There is a god , there is a god I think there's some people so deep rooted in Sexual immorality that they cannot do it on their own and they need a god .
Speaker 1They're saved , they believe in Jesus , but they still struggle so much . But just because you struggle doesn't mean you give in to the struggle . Oh yeah , you have to know and I think this is a part of my Um what is the word when you have something that's like it just kind of gets on your nerves a little bit . Pet peeve , pet peeve . I think part of my pet peeve is when people Try to make their sexuality like , like my race or my ethnicity .
Speaker 2Yeah , that kind of gets to me too .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's kind of like well , I'm this way , just like black people . They were born black , or you're born white or you're born yellow . No , that ain't the same thing . Please don't . I don't know what . You who told you that we see people who've been by be straight , people who've been Gay be straight . We've seen people change around , be straight , be gay . Don't tell me you can change your sexuality and there's nothing , absolutely nothing too hard for the Lord , and I understand that that could be offensive .
Speaker 2And .
Speaker 1I know why it's offensive because people have been taught this lie , that your sexuality is a part of your identity and so if you believe that that's who you are meaning , that I am a gay man , I am a lesbian woman , I am a . This is who I'm a transgender person and someone says , oh well , no , you can be prayed for , we can counsel you , we can help you . You feel that someone is attacking yourself .
Speaker 2Yeah , they're telling you that you're wrong . They're telling you you know that's not what .
Speaker 1That's not what . That's not what we're saying at all . What we're saying is that we were all sinners . We've all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and we all have been born with a certain Propensity towards certain sins . There are some people who have a propensity and a bending towards depression . There's some who have a bending in propensity towards jealousy . I mean , I'm talking about in preschool there's one kid that don't care anything . There's another kid is just jealousy and gossipy because they're born in sin . There are some who's been born with um , they don't want monogamy , but they , they , they want variety .
Speaker 1You know , and then there's some who's been born with the same sex attraction , and that's why all men and women need to get born again . That term in the greek means born from above , or the power of the resurrected one . Jesus lives on the inside of you , not saying that your life is going to be perfect , but now I leave my sexuality at his feet and at the altar and say god , I'm not who I want to be or who they've labeled me as . I want to be who you've called me to be , and that's that . That truth is not bondage .
Speaker 1That's not hate speech . That is actually love speech . That will make you free when you understand that now , as a born again believer , your value and worth is not in your sexuality , but it's in the blood of jesus , it is in the empty tomb , it is in the word of god . He is who he says you you are . So when you get the revelation that I'm an heir of god , I'm a joint heir with christ jesus . I've been called out of darkness , placed in the light of his son , that I'm a holy priesthood , a chosen generation Come on , somebody that the number of my hair is a number and I am who he says .
Speaker 2I am .
Speaker 1That's liberating .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 2You know I've never been one for labels . I don't like people to put me in a box . You know I'm half black and half white and people want to say , well , you're black and I'm like I mean , okay , I get it . You know , like I don't have a problem being black , but I'm also white , and you know , well , you're white . Well , no , I'm , I'm also black , like I . Just I don't like being made to choose between my mother and my father and who I identify with and who I connect with . It's just no , I'm both . I'm black and white . But above all of that , I don't like labels . Label me christian , label me a believer , label me child of god , everything else .
Speaker 1I am a christian , which that by definition means I resemble christ . I am a christian that happens to have the melanin that I have . I happen to have the pigment that I have . I'm not a black christian .
Speaker 1I am a christian first . I'm not a gay christian . I'm a christian first . I'm not a heterosexual christian or homosexual christian . I'm a christian first , you know . And so I think a lot of people want to put their title before their christianity , like I'm a catholic christian , a baptist christian , a black christian , a gay christian . No , I'm a christian , I am a born-again believer . Okay , that's where my identity , my value and my worth is found , and I think when people accept that truth , it changes the game , it's true , but it puts us all in the same , you know , in the same boat like we're believers , yeah a bunch of sinners that came to .
Speaker 1Jesus and now we're believers . Glory to god . I like that family . All right , here's number six , the common lie . You can't help who you love . And this is just a lie and you got to say what it is because you better help who you love . You cannot love my wife because she is my wife .
Speaker 2That's right , don't ?
Speaker 1be writing into the podcast talking about my wife . She's my wife . You can't love my daughter . You know she's . She's a teenager , she's a minor . You 73 years old , you 43 . You cannot . You better help who you love . What I'm saying is that we all have to . I can't love who I want to love . I can't .
Speaker 1I can't just go out and say , oh , I got this worship leader and or I got this prayer . No , I got a wife and I better discipline who I say I love . I better put parameters around that and we all have to do that . Anything on that ? No , that's good , number seven . Here's the .
Speaker 1Here's a big lie today that gender is fluid and it's based upon how you feel . It's a lie . It's a lie . It's just not true . It's not true on a Anatomy level , biological level , genetic level . You know , as a man , I have an X and Y chromosome . As a woman , you have two X's and it doesn't matter how many surgeries I go through or how many hormones that I take to change my body parts . On a genetic level , on a Biological level , a man is a man and a woman is a woman . But here's the thing In the beginning God said he created male and female . So you being a female is the divine plan of God , it's the purpose of God , and Me being a male is the divine plan of God , it's the purpose of God . God didn't make any accidents when he said I created them , male and female .
Speaker 1Create he them . We have both been made in the image and in the likeness of God . But if you are a woman , embrace who God's called you to be . As a female man , you are a woman , embrace your femininity , embrace your , your personality , love everything about who he's created . I just , I don't know . I just feel like there's so many people they're just not happy with themselves .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm .
Speaker 1And so they want to become someone else . And if , even if this wasn't about sexuality and like gender changes and gender dysphoria , if you came to me and said , hey , I'm tall , but I really won't be short , my word to you would be like no , god made you tall . You have so many advantages being tall . Love your tall self and go to the tall band store and get you some pants .
Speaker 2You know I can't go in there .
Speaker 1I'm only five foot down . You came to me , you , you , you , just big bone . I don't don't try to be all skinny like these magazines . You're gonna kill yourself eating carrots and drinking water , being on the keto diet all day , every day . I would say enjoy who you are . You know , if God's giving you that body type , you're beautiful , just man . I'm just honest . Like I see women who are heavier and they're beautiful , mm-hmm .
Speaker 2I see , women are skinnier and are beautiful .
Speaker 1I see guys that are dark , white , black . They're handsome men . They're God's creation . Yes and who am I to say no , I'm not good enough . I'm not saying that you can't get your eyebrows done . Get your little Botox if you want that , and what I'm saying . What I'm saying is that there's something on a soulless level that you feel there's something wrong in me . I'm living out a lie and see , here's the thing . Back in the day , we were truthful with people and we would say you need counseling .
Speaker 1Yeah and we want to help you get delivered , because Satan is lying to you . Now people are saying oh , that's hate speech , you can't say that to somebody . They want to even take your children away . If someone look , if little David come home he's 10 years old and little David comes in and say well , I feel like I'm a girl and you say listen , son , I was with you when I cut the imbilical cord .
Speaker 1I saw your penis come out of this piece . You are a boy and if you go and tell David that , listen , you are a boy and I'm gonna help you be the man God's called you to be . There are some states that want to come take your children from you Because the even the government has believed a lie , and I think that's like a drop the mic for me . Please help me and jump in , like it as a mother of three kids .
Speaker 2As a mother of three kids two girls and a boy kids don't know anything about . They are a Blank slate . They do what we tell them to do . They . They grow , you know , like they . We give them everything they know . If we allow them to watch cartoons and you know , movies and play video games where they're shooting people up and all kinds of Sexuality is going on in these movies and things like that . They will develop from that , they will learn from that . That is a teaching platform for them and so if they're saying certain things you know , you have to watch what they put in their eyes and what they hear . You have to watch the music that they listen to .
Speaker 1I'll take it a step . Okay , go ahead . I'm sorry .
Speaker 2But I'm saying as a mom of of three kids . They will say you know , our kids wanted to be dinosaurs , they wanted to be a cat , they wanted to be a dog , they wanted to be you know we do .
Speaker 1We give them the truth . No , you're not a dog , you're not a cat .
Speaker 2Well , the biggest thing was our son , because he are two older . Girls are their girls , you know . So he had two big sisters and I'm a mommy and daddy would be at work and I'd be at home with all the kids and I'd be polishing their nails and he'd come and put his toes in there too . Mommy , do me too , no me . Oh , you are a boy , you're going to . When daddy comes home , you can go do something with daddy . This is only for girls . Okay , mommy . Okay , go over there and eat a cookie .
Speaker 1That is man . That is how you're supposed to raise kids . It's a believer . I can't tell unbelievers how to raise their kids , but my Bible tells me to train them up and the way they should go , so when they're old they won't depart . Yeah .
Speaker 1And so if your child starts saying something that you know is not a part of their God-given Identity and purpose , it's our responsibility as parents to give them truth and just say no , that's not true . No , we don't talk like that . Okay , yeah , I've seen you , you dress in this way . Okay , we're gonna go get you some some . We're gonna get you a little dress , we'll get you some pants , we're gonna . We're gonna , you know . And that's not to say that's not to fall into Stereotypical gender roles . I understand that you know different things happen , but what I'm saying is that there are some things that we should embrace , like I want my daughters to know how to put on a dress .
Speaker 1Yes , to know how to do their hair and their nails and to sit at a dining room table with their legs crossed and to be able to have A meal in front of them .
Speaker 2I want my son to know how to treat a woman . Open the door . It's okay to open , I tell him all the time .
Speaker 1No , your sisters go first . No , go get that for them , go take care of them go watch out for them , because you know I'm saying you are a you're gonna be when you Get older . You're not now , because they push you around , but later on you're gonna be stronger than them and you need to know how to have a heart for the women that are in your life right , that's , that's , that's good parenting , y'all .
Speaker 1That's , this is this is this is this is truth and love , because I'm seeing people who are very they have a platform famous people that are just . They're almost just letting their children 12 years old , 10 years old , 15 years identified as whatever , and that's fine for the world , but as for us and born again believers , I have to call a lie . And so Satan will lie out of the womb about your sexuality , about your gender . He will , he will try to confuse you , he will try to depress you , he will turn it around , he will cause you to hate the church , hate Christians , hate people with truth . He'll do everything that he can because he is the father of lies , but it's truth that will make you free , and so I guess my word would be this if you are watching or listening to this and you feel confused , in your gender or you feel confused in your sexuality .
Speaker 1I would start by renouncing and also repenting . I would renounce God , I renounce those thoughts of the enemy , I turn away from that way towards your word and I am fearfully and wonderfully created by you . And we just declare in Jesus' name If you've been struggling , in that area .
Speaker 1We declare clarity over your soul , clarity over your mind , that you can be who God's called you to be , not who Satan has called you to be . And who the sun sets free is free indeed . And so number eight . Here's to the eighth lie . It's okay for me to flirt and talk to someone outside of my marriage if my needs aren't being met at home . It's a lie , and I think that for some reason , people get married and if they don't get what they wanna get out of the marriage , they think that it's okay that they open up other doors . They feel justified . They feel justified to let somebody else stroke that emotion at the workplace or somebody else meet that need . And it starts off very , very small , but then it turns into a snowball effect and it's just not true .
Speaker 2I don't know . Yeah , it's a lie , it's a lie , it's a lie .
Speaker 1I will move on Number nine . It's okay to watch pornography as long as you watch it with your spouse . It's a lie .
Speaker 2It's a lie .
Speaker 1It's a lie and I know well there's people they're even safe people like we're just trying to spice up our marriage . Well , don't bring the demonic into your home . Don't open up your soul to that which is demonic .
Speaker 2Doing something bad in the name of good .
Speaker 1Doing something bad in the name of something good is never good . It's a lie , and so there's tons of ways . Y'all keep hanging out with us . We will help you find ways . I feel like we need to write books on sex . I feel like we need to do master classes on sex . I feel like we need to come out with our own sex toys . We have come out with a sex card game between husband and wife and help people spice this stuff up . Man , you know .
Speaker 2For me , I think we need to you know as believers , just kind of view , evil for evil , and kind of like know what it is , and like , when I think of pornography , I think of nasty and I'm not trying to digress , I'm not saying the person is evil or whatever , but I'm thinking about the act , the whole . In total . I just think of nastiness . I think of sexually transmitted diseases . I think of broken people , soul ties , addictions . I think of families torn apart . I think of a bunch of nastiness .
Speaker 2I remember when I was in college . I was freshman in college and I rolled with a big group of girls . There was like 15 of us . We were on the floor together and we would just kind of roll together and we went to this big frat party . Everybody was like , oh , this is gonna be the best . You know , this is the frat party . And we walked in the party and there was a female stripper and a guy stripper and it was just like the girls were in one part and the guys were in another part and I looked and I was disgusted . Okay , and I wasn't even saved yet , but I was just disgusted and I had never seen this before . And so we go up and people were like , oh yeah , this is gonna be fun , this is gonna be great , and they were all excited . But I was just completely turned up . The things that I saw nasty and I took me and my 15-girl crew and we rolled out of there . We got on the bus and went back to campus .
Speaker 1You was like , let's go , let's go .
Speaker 2I was like come on , we're leaving . I was offended like seriously and I think I said that to say like we just gotta call it out for what it is . I'm not degrading people , but that's nasty . Like that's nasty , I want why would I watch that ? Why would I watch that and think about it ? Cause you have to ignore a whole lot of stuff for that . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1Well , that's why I love you . That's why I love you . You've always been bent towards good . God's commandments have been written on your heart . Even before you were saved , there was a level of no and like that's nasty , and that's why I actually- .
Speaker 2I'm not perfect , but that's nasty .
Speaker 1It is a little nasty .
Speaker 1If you think about it If you think about somebody's sweaty balls , like dancing all up on your shoulder . That's nasty . You know what I'm saying ? This Chippendale kind of that's . I'm sorry y'all , it is kind of nasty , but Lord have mercy . Well , I give them . The last , one to 10th lie is this If I've sinned sexually or been violated sexually , I'm no good to God . That's a lie . That's a lie Cause if that was the case , you wouldn't be here . I would be no good , and I would be no good as well .
Speaker 1It's amazing when I read the Bible that I see God take these people who've messed up bad , like David , and still use them in mighty ways , and I just feel like , sometimes , the people who have the murkiest past is the people who carry in the future the greatest mantle . So if you have , if you're the person that says , you know what ? I've had so many sexual partners , same sex , different sex , all kinds of different things . We're not here to make you feel bad . We're here to give you truth so that you can be free .
Speaker 2Come out .
Speaker 1We've all sinned , We've all fallen short of the glory of God . Time would fail for us to tell you all of the bad decisions that we've made , but for you to feel like your past disqualifies you for who God's called you to be as a complete lie . The truth is is that God wants to cast your sin as far as the East is from the West and don't even remember it any longer . But it starts with you making a decision to renounce that sin , to repent which just turned the direction and to recommit yourself to Christ today .
Speaker 1So I would love to give you that opportunity because I believe that's where freedom is found , and I don't believe that the people who are watching and listening or doing it by accident . I believe your footsteps are ordered by the Lord and God told me to give people off ramps . I cannot fight with you . If you want to do what you want to do , that's a free will . You have that free will . But there are so many people that are struggling and they've been looking for the truth and it's here right now . And so , with every head bowed and I closed . If you can , if you're driving , just say this after me . Say Lord Jesus , forgive me of my sins , be the Lord of my life from this day forward . Jesus , I put my trust in you and on today I renounce and I also repent from sexual sin of my past and also my present , creating me a new heart , a clean heart today , in Jesus name , amen .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I also you know , because the enemy doesn't play fair . He's throwing these lies at you and some of you have been so bombarded with these lies and you've really taken it in and just have made it a part of your identity . And I don't want to play fair today either . I just want to proclaim the blessing over you . I want to declare God's will over your life , that you are a man of God . You are a woman of God . You have been called out of darkness and placed into his marvelous light . I want to declare over you that you will do all that God has called you to do , that you will rise up and we will look at you and give God glory for the work that he's doing in your life right now . In Jesus name .
Speaker 1If this segment has been a blessing to you , we would love to hear from you . We need to hear from you because your words of encouragement they encourage us . We want to hear your testimony . Would God speak to you ? What did he show you ? What did he do in your heart today ? Leave us a review if you have a good one . If you want to leave something private , you can email us the link is in the show notes and hit the subscribe button so that you can be the first to get the content . We release new content here every Thursday 3 pm Eastern Standard Time in the United States , and we're just honored to have you join our journey to be able to do life together , and so we hope to see you next week . We got a great show coming up for you next week , so make sure that you share this and tell somebody else to join us . And so thank you for tuning in to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We'll see you next week , peace .