

      <h2 id="understanding-and-embracing-grace-to-self"><a class="no-underline" href="#understanding-and-embracing-grace-to-self">Understanding and Embracing Grace to Self</a></h2>


        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>0:00</time>
      <p>
          Hey ,   welcome   to   Doing   Life   with   Ken   and   Tabitha .   We   are   so   pumped   that   you&#39;re   tuning   into   this   podcast .   It   has   been   designed   for   people   just   like   you .   We   wanna   do   life   with   you ,   share   our   wins ,   our   defeats ,   our   ups   and   our   downs ,   in   hopes   that   you&#39;ll   grow   closer   to   God   and   to   the   people   that   you   love   in   your   life .   Sit   back   and   enjoy   today&#39;s   podcast .   Hello ,   hello ,   hello ,   Hello   everyone .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>0:20</time>
      <p>
          Welcome   everybody   to   another   episode   of   Doing   Life   with   Ken   and   Tabitha   24   years   of   marriage ,   tons   of   mistakes   that   we&#39;ve   made ,   tons   of   wins   that   we&#39;ve   had ,   and   it&#39;s   our   intention   to   share   our   life   with   you   guys   online   to   help   you   avoid   the   dumb   things   that   we&#39;ve   done   and   learn   from   the   good   things   that   we&#39;ve   done   to   add   some   value   to   your   life .   So   pump   that   you&#39;re   here   with   us   wherever   you&#39;re   tuning   in   from ,   from   whatever   nation ,   whatever   country ,   please   Hit   us   in   the   comments .   Let   us   know   where   you&#39;re   tuning   in   from   and   what   value   you   get   from   today&#39;s   content   we&#39;re   pumped   about .   Today   we&#39;re   gonna   talk   about   grace ,   the   self ,   but   before   we   do   that ,   what   you   thinking ,   sweetie ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>0:58</time>
      <p>
          I&#39;m   thinking .   I   wanna   say   thank   you   to   everyone   for   just   tuning   in   to   Doing   Life ,   with   Ken   and   Tabitha   being   a   part   of   our   family .   You   know   we&#39;re   always   praying   for   you ,   and   we   do   this   because   we   really   believe   that   people   can   learn   off   of   our   life   experience   and   this   can   enrich   other   people&#39;s   lives .   And   so   thank   you   for   your   testimonies ,   thank   you   for   the   reviews   that   you&#39;ve   sent   in ,   thank   you   for   everything   that   you&#39;re   doing .   We&#39;re   so   excited   we   can   feel   the   love .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>1:25</time>
      <p>
          Yes ,   and   it   helps   us   keep   on   wanting   to   pump   out   what   does   say   of   the   Lord   to   help   folks ,   and   so   thank   you   for   your   prayers   and   encouragement .   If   you   are   newer   to   our   podcast   or   show ,   make   sure   that   you   hit   the   subscribe   button   on   YouTube ,   hit   the   download   button   on   podcast   and   just   share   this   with   someone   else   as   well .   You   know   sharing   is   caring   caring   is   sharing .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>1:46</time>
      <p>
          We   believe   it   can   be   a   lifeline   to   somebody .   Well ,   today&#39;s   episode   is   entitled   Grace   to   Self .   Everybody   say   it ,   grace   to   Self ,   gts ,   and   we   wanna   help   you   understand   what   Grace   to   Self   is .   We   want   you   to   embrace   Grace   to   Self ,   we   want   you   to   learn   about   Grace   to   Self   and   teach   other   people .   And   so   how   would   you   define   Grace   to   Self ,   babe ?   What&#39;s   your   what&#39;s ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>2:11</time>
      <p>
          your   Grace   to   Self .   I   would   say   Grace   to   Self   is   giving   yourself   the   same   grace   that   you   would   give   other   people .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>2:21</time>
      <p>
          Okay ,   talk   to   me   more .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>2:24</time>
      <p>
          So   if   someone   came   to   me   and   was   discouraged   or   said ,   oh   my   gosh ,   I   did   this   or   hey ,   I   need   help ,   I   would   begin   to   encourage   them .   I   would   begin   to   give   them   the   word   of   God ,   give   them   everything   that   I   had   to   build   them   up   and   to   help   them   in   their   situation .   And   so   I   think   Grace   to   Self   is   within   yourself ,   encouraging   yourself ,   going   into   that   reservoir   and   pulling   out   life   experience   to   help   you   and   encourage   yourself   in   whatever   situation .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>3:02</time>
      <p>
          What   would   be   the   opposite   of   Grace   to   Self ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>3:05</time>
      <p>
          Self   condemnation   more   like   you&#39;re   stupid   Dumping   on   yourself .   Why   did   you   do   that   being   hard   on   yourself ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>3:11</time>
      <p>
          I   can&#39;t   stand   it .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>3:12</time>
      <p>
          I   can&#39;t   stand   myself .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>3:15</time>
      <p>
          Well ,   that&#39;s   some   people .   Where   they   live ,   they   have   been   talked   negative   self-talk   and   they   talk   well   of   other   people   and   they   talk   really   bad   about   themselves .   I   used   to   be   there ,   you   used   to   be   there .   Can   you   tell   me   a   little   bit   Chronically   there ?   Oh   yeah ,   in   which   way ?   Give   me   some   of   that ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>3:29</time>
      <p>
          I&#39;ll   give   you   my   favorite   example .   I   was   this   is   only   maybe   five   to   eight   years   ago ,   something   like   that .   So   I&#39;m   a   pastor .   I   encourage   people .   That&#39;s   what   I   do .   I   love   people .   I   have   kids .   I   encourage   my   husband   and   I   was   standing   in   the   mirror   one   day   getting   dressed   to   go   to   a   meeting   and   I   was   just   tearing   myself   apart .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>3:55</time>
      <p>
          This   outfit   is   stupid .   Your   hair   looks   crazy .   You&#39;re   too   fat .   I   don&#39;t   even   know   if   you   have   anything   to   say   to   these   people .   You   should   just   call   off .   I   was   going   in   on   myself ,   didn&#39;t   even   realize   it ,   but   the   voice   of   God   spoke   to   me .   I   heard   the   Lord   say ,   not   with   my   ears ,   but   in   my   heart   who   are   you   talking   to   like   that ?   And   I   was   just   like .   It   startled   me .   I   stopped   and   I&#39;m   looking   at   myself   in   the   mirror   and   I   didn&#39;t   respond   and   he   just   said .   He   said   who   are   you   talking   to   like   that ?   That&#39;s   my   daughter .   And   it   gave   me   the   impression   that ,   like ,   how   dare   you   talk   to   my   daughter   like   that ?   That&#39;s   not   who   she   is .   Why   would   you   say   those   things   to   her ?   And   then   my   next   instructions   were   talk   to   yourself   the   way   you   talk   to   other   people .   Or   he   actually   told   me   would   you   talk   to   your   daughter   like   that .   No ,   would   you   talk   to   your   friend ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>4:50</time>
      <p>
          like   that .   No ,   boy ,   you&#39;re   super   gracious   to   everybody ,   you&#39;re   super   kind ,   you&#39;re   super   above   the   board ,   but   for   some   reason   was   having   a   hard   time   being   like   that   with   you .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>5:00</time>
      <p>
          I   didn&#39;t   realize   that   that   was   even   a   problem .   I   didn&#39;t   realize   because   I   had   been   a   perfectionist .   I   like   to   do   everything   a   certain   way ,   Maybe   a   little   OCD ,   Maybe   I&#39;m   an   overachiever .   I   like   to   do   it   at   110% .   But   along   with   that   came   this   you&#39;re   never   good   enough .   Even   if   I   did   do   it   at   100% ,   you   coulda   did   it   more .   Why   didn&#39;t   you   do   it   like   this ?   I   was   this   negative   self-talk .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>5:26</time>
      <p>
          Okay ,   okay .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>5:28</time>
      <p>
          And   so   in   that   moment ,   when   I   was   looking   at   myself   in   the   mirror ,   I   realized   like   the   Lord   just   melted   my   heart   and   I   like   repented   before   the   Lord   and   I   was   like   I&#39;m   sorry .   And   I   actually   was   just   like   you   know ,   like   I&#39;m   sorry .   I&#39;m   looking   at   myself   in   the   mirror   talking   to   myself   and   at   the   time   I   had   been   diagnosed   with   Hashimoto&#39;s .   I   was   having   struggles   with   my   thyroid .   Hashimoto&#39;s   is   when   your   thyroid   levels   are   up   and   then   they&#39;re   down ,   and   then   they&#39;re   up   again   and   then   they&#39;re   down .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>5:54</time>
      <p>
          Which   is   an   autoimmune   disorder .   Yes ,   just   like   lupus ,   just   like   rheumatoid   arthritis ,   cancer ,   just   like   cancer   is   basically   your   body   turning   on   itself .   Okay   Now ,   why   is   that   important ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>6:05</time>
      <p>
          That&#39;s   important ,   because   what   I   did   in   the   mirror   that   day   and   I   was   just   led   of   the   Lord   and   having   the   information   that   you   had ,   it   just   clicked   to   me   all   in   one   moment   and   I   realized ,   tabitha ,   you   have   been   at   war   with   yourself ,   and   your   body ,   as   a   man   thinks   in   his   heart ,   so   is   he .   Through   my   thoughts ,   and   I   was   training   my   body   to   turn   on   itself ,   to   be   at   war   with   itself .   And   so   I   put   one   hand   on   my   gut ,   because   I   knew   that&#39;s   where   most   of   your   immune   system   exists ,   and   I   put   one   hand   to   God   and   I   said   I   wave   the   white   flag ,   I   surrender ,   I   am   no   longer   at   war   with   myself ,   but   I   will   love   myself   from   this   day   forward   and   speak   positive   things   about   myself .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>6:46</time>
      <p>
          And   I&#39;m   telling   you ,   it   changed   my   life   around .   I   still   practice   those   principles   today .   But   do   you   know   what ?   The   next   time   you   were   there   with   me ,   we   went   to   the   doctor&#39;s   office ,   my   doctor&#39;s   doctor ,   don   Colbert .   He   is   amazing ,   he&#39;s   been   our   doctor   for   years .   He&#39;s   looking   at   our   papers   and   he&#39;s   saying   Tabitha ,   you   don&#39;t   have   Hashimoto&#39;s .   And   I&#39;m   reminding   him .   I&#39;m   like   but   remember ,   tabitha ,   you   don&#39;t   have   a ,   but   remember .   I   kept   wanting   to   tell   him ,   like   be   sure ,   because   he&#39;s   like ,   I&#39;m   telling   you ,   girl ,   you   don&#39;t   have   Hashimoto&#39;s .   I   believe   God   healed   me   in   that   moment   that   I   said   no   more ,   I&#39;m   not   gonna   be   at   war   with   myself .   And   my   body   was   able   to   heal   as   well .   But   I   think   that&#39;s   the   power   of   grace   to   self .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>7:26</time>
      <p>
          So   I   remember   when   we   met .   Now   we&#39;ve   been   married   for   24   years .   I   think   when   we   met   were   you   taking   thyroid   medicine .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>7:35</time>
      <p>
          No ,   not   when   I   met   you .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>7:35</time>
      <p>
          Because   you&#39;ve   always   had   something   on   your   thyroid .   I   had   the   history   with   my   thyroid .   Yeah ,   okay ,   then   you   started   taking   medicine ,   but   you   had   taken   medicine   for   how   many   years ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>7:45</time>
      <p>
          Probably   three   years   at   that   point .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>7:49</time>
      <p>
          Oh ,   really   yeah   three   years .   You   thought   you&#39;d   taken   thyroid   medicine   for   a   long   time .   

      </p>

      <h2 id="the-power-of-self-grace"><a class="no-underline" href="#the-power-of-self-grace">The Power of Self-Grace</a></h2>


        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>7:53</time>
      <p>
          No   when ,   I   was   when   I   had   a   thyroid   problem ,   starting   at   12   years   old .   So   when   I   was   12 ,   I   had   a   goiter   If   you&#39;re   in   that   world ,   you   know   what   that   is   and   I   had   to   drink   the   solution   from   my   thyroid .   Since   then ,   I   had   thyroid   issues ,   and   I   didn&#39;t   take   medication ,   though ,   until   it   got   to   a   point   where   it   was   just   like ,   okay ,   you   need   to   take   medication   now ,   and   that   was   probably   about   a   three   to   four   year   period .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>8:18</time>
      <p>
          So ,   but   that   was   a   separate   issue   the   Hashimoto&#39;s   and   you   having   a   thyroid   or   needing   thyroid   medicines   with   two   different   issues ,   it&#39;s   all   the   same .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>8:24</time>
      <p>
          it&#39;s   all   the   same .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>8:25</time>
      <p>
          But   it   was   two   different   issues .   Right ,   you   was   taking   thyroid   medicine   before   Hashimoto&#39;s .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>8:29</time>
      <p>
          Yes ,   yes .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>8:30</time>
      <p>
          And   so ,   but   now   you   don&#39;t   need   to   take   any   medicine   at   all .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>8:34</time>
      <p>
          Yes .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>8:35</time>
      <p>
          So   not   only   is   Hashimoto&#39;s   gone ,   even   your   thyroid   issue ,   where   you   need   it ,   the   levels   are   perfect ,   it&#39;s   perfect .   I   don&#39;t   know .   I   don&#39;t   really   believe   in   coincidences .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>8:45</time>
      <p>
          And   that&#39;s   been   years   now .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>8:46</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   I   just   believe   that   that   is   a   part   of   grace   to   self .   I   really   do ,   and   of   course   God&#39;s   will   is   for   us   to   be   healed   and   be   whole ,   but   there&#39;s   just   something   about   the   person   that   speaks   negatively   of   themselves   and   turns   on   themselves .   Your   body   can   actually   be   trained   to   kind   of   follow   what   you&#39;re   doing ,   and   so   I&#39;m   glad   that   you&#39;ve   reversed   that .   But   is   there   any   other   examples   that   you   have   of   where   you   were   hard   on   yourself   or   you   didn&#39;t   extend   grace   to   self ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>9:14</time>
      <p>
          Oh   yeah ,   I   mean ,   throughout   life   I   was   that   one ,   like   I   said ,   wanting   to   be   the   overachiever ,   and   I   kind   of   didn&#39;t   have   a   great   foundation   for   my   identity .   I   didn&#39;t   believe   that   I   was .   I   thought   that   everybody   else   was   better   than   me ,   like   I&#39;m   the   worst .   Whatever   I   did ,   it   doesn&#39;t   measure   up   to   what   you .   Whatever   you   did ,   it   doesn&#39;t   measure   up   to   what   I   did .   I   just   had   this   poor   self   identity   and   so   I   think   I   trained   and   then ,   growing   up   as   a   younger   child ,   the   words   that   were   spoken   over   me   were   you&#39;re   this ,   you&#39;re   that   cuss   words ,   just   you   know .   And   so   I   would   always   deflect   those   and   I   would   even   have   a   comeback   as   a   teenager   no ,   I&#39;m   not ,   and   I   would   get   to   fighting   and   everything ,   all   of   that   stuff .   But   still ,   those   were   seeds   that   were   planted   and   I   didn&#39;t   know   anything   else   but   the   negative   Right .   And   so   I   don&#39;t   know .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>10:13</time>
      <p>
          I ,   just   as   I   became   an   adult ,   I   began   to .   I   knew   that   what   people   said   about   me   was   wrong .   I   knew ,   but   I   don&#39;t   know .   I   even   knew   to   the   extent   to   forgive   other   people   and   to   be   kind   toward   other   people ,   like   I   just   wouldn&#39;t .   You   know ,   I   would   never   talk   to   someone   else   the   way   I   talk   to   myself ,   and   until   that   moment   that   the   Lord   spoke   to   me   like   literally ,   I   didn&#39;t   realize   that   I   was   talking   to   myself   like   that .   But   I   can   look   back   and   see   oh   yeah ,   that&#39;s   why   maybe   you   didn&#39;t   try   hard .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>10:52</time>
      <p>
          That&#39;s   why ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>10:52</time>
      <p>
          maybe   you   didn&#39;t   have   those   friends ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>10:55</time>
      <p>
          So   maybe   you   didn&#39;t   have   grace   to   self ,   maybe   you   didn&#39;t   even   know   how   to   forgive   yourself   of   certain   things ,   I   don&#39;t   know .   I   mean ,   for   me   GTS   would   probably   be   more   when   it   comes   to   religious   stuff ,   like   I&#39;ve   always   had   like   a   chill   personality .   If   you   go   way ,   way   back ,   like   people   can   believe   what   they   want ,   do   what   they   want ,   it&#39;s   cool ,   we   cool ,   it&#39;s   all   right .   You   know ,   it&#39;s   not   until   I   really   got   into   the   word   of   God   that   I   was   like   no ,   there   is   a   right   and   there   is   a   wrong .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>11:20</time>
      <p>
          There   are   some   standards ,   yeah ,   but   also   with   my   walk   with   God ,   there&#39;s   certain   disciplines ,   like   when   it   comes   to   prayer   time ,   when   it   comes   to   study   time   and   I&#39;ve   always   been   a   very   disciplined   person   Like   I&#39;m   gonna   spend   probably   at   least   an   hour   in   time   with   God   a   day .   Pretty   much   you   can   set   your   clock   to   it .   I   mean ,   I&#39;m   a   very   disciplined .   This   is   the   way   that   I   just   go   about   my   day   and   the   times   that   I&#39;ve   really   need   grace   to   myself   is   if   I   miss   a   day ,   or   miss   two   days ,   or   I&#39;m   just   off ,   not   feeling   bad   like ,   oh ,   I   missed   my   time   with   God .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>11:55</time>
      <p>
          Oh   yeah .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>11:55</time>
      <p>
          Or   I   didn&#39;t   study   the   Bible   enough ,   or   I   didn&#39;t   do   something   spiritual   enough .   Maybe   I   didn&#39;t   give   enough   and   truthfully   I   probably .   I&#39;m   a   very   generous   person   and   now   God   has   teaching   me   a   thing   of   not   just   like .   I   was   in   prayer   the   other   day   and   I   was   down   on   my   knees   and   when   I   got   up   off   my   knees   I   thought   my   time   of   prayer   was   over .   It&#39;s   like   7   am   and   it&#39;s   time   to   get   on   with   my   day .   And   as   I   got   off   my   knees   I   heard   the   Lord   say   take   me   with   you .   I   mean   in   that   prayer   is   not   something   that   you   just   do   for   an   hour   in   the   day .   God   wants   to   go   with   us .   He   wants   to   get   in   the   car   with   me .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>12:30</time>
      <p>
          He   wants   to   go   into   all   of   my   meetings   in   a   day .   He   wants   to   be   here   beside   me   in   my   podcast .   He   wants   to   help   me   answer   my   problems .   He   is   not   interested   in   us   just   having   quiet   time ,   even   though   quiet   time   is   important .   When   the   scripture   says ,   pray   without   ceasing ,   he&#39;s   saying   that   there&#39;s   a   lifeline   of   communication .   And   so ,   for   me ,   I&#39;m   about   to   go   through   this   whole   relationship   with   God   movement ,   and   so   I&#39;ve   really   been   studying   if   what   it   means   to   have   a   strong   relationship   with   God ,   and   one   of   the   things   is   invitation   and   also   awareness .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>12:58</time>
      <p>
          That   I&#39;m   aware   of   his   presence   at   all   time ,   that   I&#39;m   aware   of   his   voice ,   that   I&#39;m   willing   to   speak   to   him ,   that   my   ears   always   open   to   him ,   and   so   with   that ,   it&#39;s   allowed   me   to   extend   a   lot   of   grace   to   myself ,   cause   I&#39;m   like ,   okay ,   maybe   I   didn&#39;t   have   the   kind   of   time   that   I   wanted   to   have   in   prayer ,   but   prayer   is   not   just   a   morning   thing ,   it&#39;s   an   all   day   thing .   Come   on ,   let&#39;s   go .   It&#39;s   just   this   consistent   thing .   And   I   don&#39;t   know ,   right   now   I&#39;m   in   a   season   of   my   life   where   I&#39;m   delighting   in   things ,   walking   in   the   door   of   the   Lord   and   extending   total   grace   towards   myself   Because ,   I   don&#39;t   know ,   I   just   feel   like   that&#39;s   so   much   better   than   condemning   myself ,   breaking   myself   down ,   feeling   like   a   chump   and   horrible .   I   think   Satan   would   love   us   to   feel   that   way
      </p>

      <h2 id="extending-grace-to-self"><a class="no-underline" href="#extending-grace-to-self">Extending Grace to Self</a></h2>


        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>13:38</time>
      <p>
          .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>13:38</time>
      <p>
          Oh   yeah ,   I   mean ,   I   imagine   Jesus   when   he   walked   the   earth .   How   hard   he   could   have   been   on   himself .   I   mean ,   the   greatest   man   to   ever   live ,   jesus   Christ .   Right ,   look   at   all   the   people   he   healed .   What   if   he   was   like   man ?   If   I   could   have   just   healed   that   one   more ,   if   I   could   have   just   healed   10   more ?   You   know ,   look   at   all   the   people   that   you   know   Like   by   the   pool   up .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>13:57</time>
      <p>
          but   there&#39;s   the   one   man   gets   up .   You   know ,   he   puts   the   person   in   the   water .   The   water&#39;s   stirring ,   but   people   are   everywhere .   What   if   he   was   like   man ?   I   just   why   just   this   one .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>14:06</time>
      <p>
          I   wanna   you   know   Like   man ,   I   don&#39;t   have   to   go   to   sleep   tonight .   Let   me   just   stay   up   all   night   preaching   in   the   synagogue .   Let   me   just   there&#39;s ,   so   you   can   always   be   doing   something .   But   at   what   point   is   it   too   much   in   a   detriment   to   yourself ?   Do   you   have   to   love   yourself ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>14:23</time>
      <p>
          So   for   me ,   and   maybe   you   too ,   the   areas   where   I   need   to   extend   grace   to   self   would   be   finances .   Many   times   I   feel   like   I   haven&#39;t   saved   enough ,   I   haven&#39;t   stewarded   enough   to   where   you   know .   Even   sometimes   I   feel   like   maybe   I&#39;ve   given   too   much .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>14:37</time>
      <p>
          Oh   yeah .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>14:38</time>
      <p>
          Or   maybe   not   given   enough .   You   know ,   it&#39;s   just   this   whole   thing ,   and   that&#39;s   where   you   need   grace   to   self .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>14:43</time>
      <p>
          And   grace   to   self   is   like   you&#39;re   doing   the   best   you   can .   Are   your   footsteps   not   ordered   by   the   Lord   Right ?   Is   God   not   going   to   lead   you   and   guide   you ?   You   know   so   it&#39;s   like ,   I   think   sometimes ,   when   we   don&#39;t   extend   grace   to   ourselves ,   it&#39;s   because   we&#39;re   focusing   too   much   on   ourselves ,   on   our   ability   and   what   we   can   do ,   and   Grace&#39;s   God&#39;s   ability   on   top   of   our   ability ,   his   supernatural   ability   on   top   of   our   natural   ability   to   do   what   he&#39;s   called   us   to   do   I   remember   back   in   the   day   I   almost   felt   like   it   was   my   job   to   save   the   world .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>15:13</time>
      <p>
          I&#39;m   a   ministry   gift   and   I   need   to   go   out   and   preach   the   gospel .   And   now   I   look   at   it   like   I   can&#39;t   save   the   world .   I   can   kinda   influence   my   world ,   not   the   world ,   my   world   like   my   everyday   life ,   of   my   sphere   of   influence .   Let   me   let   my   light   shine   there ,   because   I   need   grace   to   self   when   it   comes   to   even   soul   winning .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>15:32</time>
      <p>
          Like .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>15:32</time>
      <p>
          I&#39;ll   feel   bad   if   I   walk   past   somebody   and   I   maybe   didn&#39;t   share   my   faith ,   or   if   there&#39;s   somebody   with   a   sign   up   and   they&#39;re   walking   towards   my   car   but   I   don&#39;t   really   have   change .   I&#39;ll   kinda   feel   a   little   bad   about   that   and   I   guess   what   I&#39;m   saying   is   that ,   no ,   give   yourself   grace ,   you   didn&#39;t   have   any   change .   You   know   what   I&#39;m   saying .   You   love   people ,   or   better   yet ,   I   give   a   whole   lot   of   money ,   probably   20%   of   everything   that   comes   in .   We   probably   give   back   out ,   and   if   I   miss   this   person   or   that   person ,   I   can   extend   some   grace   to   myself   it&#39;s   okay .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>16:04</time>
      <p>
          I   think   my   biggest   challenge   right   now   with   not   extending   grace   to   self   would   be   with   our   kids ,   Like   if   one   of   them&#39;s   not   turning   their   homework   in ,   oh   Lord .   We   had   the   whole   COVID   situation   and   one   of   our   kids   missed   out   on   their   math .   It   was   just   terrible .   So   then   we   had   to   take   them   the   tutoring   and   get   them   caught   up   in   math   and   stuff   and   as   a   parent   I   can   feel   really   bad   like ,   oh   my   gosh ,   a   baby   that   know   how   to   do   math .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>16:30</time>
      <p>
          Or   better   yet .   I&#39;m   always   taking   care   of   the   church   business ,   I&#39;m   always   taking   care   of   the   kingdom   business ,   and   my   kid   can&#39;t   write   well .   Or   something   like   that .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>16:37</time>
      <p>
          Like   you ,   come   home   and   it&#39;s   like   you   get   an   email   from   the   school   like ,   oh ,   somebody   has   a   deal   on   this ,   and   you&#39;re   like   man ,   I   suck .   As   a   parent ,   I&#39;m   not   putting   my   family   first ,   and   that&#39;s   not   true .   I   do   a   lot   of   things   for   my   family ,   and   just   because   there&#39;s   a   weakness   or   an   area   of   improvement   doesn&#39;t   mean   that   there&#39;s   fundamentally   a   problem   or   I&#39;m   flawed ,   and   that&#39;s   why   you   need   grace   to   self .   Anything   else   come   out   on   that .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>17:00</time>
      <p>
          We   can   go   on   and   on   about   all   of   those   things .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>17:04</time>
      <p>
          And   so   we   got   kind   of   seven   keys   here   to   extending   grace   to   self ,   and   we&#39;ll   just   kind   of   jump   into   these .   Number   one   you   got   to   give   yourself   the   same   grace   that   you   would   give   others .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>17:14</time>
      <p>
          And   I   think   that&#39;s   what   you   were   talking   about .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>17:16</time>
      <p>
          And   so   you   are   like   sugary   sweet   to   people ,   like   super ,   save   the   animal ,   save   the   world ,   you   know   kind   of   person ,   but   then   hard   on   yourself   and   that   it   doesn&#39;t   need   to   get   to   flip ,   flip   to   where   you&#39;re   mean   to   others   and   give   grace   to   self .   You   just   need   to   extend   that   same   grace   to   yourself   that   you   would   extend   to   others ,   and   I   think   there&#39;s   many   people   that   need   to   do   that   as   well .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>17:38</time>
      <p>
          Absolutely .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>17:40</time>
      <p>
          Number   two   choose   to   forgive   yourself   from   past   shortcomings   and   mistakes .   Now ,   what   on   the   Enneagram ?   What   are   you ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>17:48</time>
      <p>
          You   know ,   I   think   I&#39;m   a   number   one ,   but   I&#39;m   tied   for   a   number   one   and   eight .   I   think   I&#39;m   a   number   one ,   but   in   leadership   situations   I   kind   of   turned   into   an   eight .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>17:58</time>
      <p>
          Those   of   you   all   who   are   unfamiliar   with .   Enneagram .   It   is   like   a   motivation   study ,   where   what   is   your   key   motivators   that   motivates   you   to   do   certain   things ,   and   a   one   is   what ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>18:09</time>
      <p>
          A   one   is   your .   What   is   it   called   the   perfectionist ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>18:13</time>
      <p>
          Okay ,   so   Tabitha   is   a   recovering   perfectionist .   We&#39;re   not   gonna   call   her   a   perfectionist .   She&#39;s   a   recovering   perfectionist   because   she   always   wants   to   keep   the   rules .   She   always   wants   to   play   by   the   book .   She   don&#39;t   wanna   do   anything   wrong .   But   many   people   who   are   perfectionists   probably   struggle   with   grace   to   self   because   everything   has   to   be   just   right   and   life   is   not   just   right   all   the   time   Preach   it .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>18:43</time>
      <p>
          And   so   you   gotta   forgive   yourself   from   shortcomings   and   mistakes ,   because   you&#39;re   a   human   being   and   so   we&#39;re   always   gonna   make   some   mistakes .   We&#39;re   always ,   you   know ,   even   as   an   employer .   You   know   we   have   a   staff   here   and   really   I&#39;m   trying   to   walk   in   a   greater   grace ,   because   if   this   song   isn&#39;t   right ,   or   that   transition&#39;s   not   right ,   or   somebody   preached   something   and   that&#39;s   not   what   I   would   say ,   there&#39;s   a   tendency   to   be   like   well ,   is   the   gospel ,   get   it   right .   No ,   it&#39;s   your   bend   on   the   gospel ,   it&#39;s   your   style ,   it&#39;s   your   perspective ,   and   thank   God   that   there&#39;s   a   lot   of   different   diversity   in   how   we   express   the   gospel   and   you   know   it&#39;s   the   same   message ,   but   it&#39;s   different   methods   and   give   people   grace   to   express   it   out   of   their   wheelhouse .   And   so   not   only   is   there   grace   to   self ,   there&#39;s   grace   to   staff ,   there&#39;s   grace   to   kids ,   there&#39;s ,   you   know ,   give   unbelievers   to   come   to   your   church   space   and   grace   to   grow   Like .   They&#39;re   not   gonna   be   like   you   overnight .   Yes ,   they&#39;re   gonna   come   in   with   cleavage   showing   and   they&#39;re   gonna   come   in   cursing .   Yes ,   they   coming   out   of   the   world .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>19:39</time>
      <p>
          Give   them   a   moment   you   know   what   I&#39;m   saying   Don&#39;t   expect   people   to   be   clean   before   you   catch   them ,   and   so   anyway   number   three   will   be   choose   to   love   yourself   because   God   loves   you   Amen .  
      </p>

      <h2 id="self-love-and-personal-growth-importance"><a class="no-underline" href="#self-love-and-personal-growth-importance">Self-Love and Personal Growth Importance</a></h2>


        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>19:51</time>
      <p>
          You   know ,   sometimes   I   hear   people   dumping   on   that   term ,   kind   of   like   loving   yourself .   These   Christians ,   we&#39;re   not   supposed   to   love   ourselves ,   we&#39;re   supposed   to   love   God .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>19:59</time>
      <p>
          I   don&#39;t   know .   There&#39;s   some   weird   people   out   there   and   it&#39;s   just   like   so   what   do   you   want   me   to ?   Not   like   myself ,   not   love   myself ?   And   how   can   I   love   my   neighbor   as   myself   if   I   don&#39;t   love   myself ?   So   for   me ,   the   love   of   God   works   vertically ,   then   it   works   horizontally ,   meaning   that   the   great   commandment   is   first   love   the   Lord ,   that   God ,   with   all   heart ,   soul   and   mind ,   right .   Then   love   your   neighbor   like   yourself .   So   it&#39;s   first   vertically   that .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>20:22</time>
      <p>
          And   actually ,   even   before   I   love   God ,   I   think   there   is   a   quiet   that   I   have   to   receive   his   love ,   because   if   I   don&#39;t   receive   supernatural   love   from   God ,   how   can   I   really   love   him ?   So   this   is   vertical .   I&#39;m   gonna   receive   his   love ,   then   I&#39;m   gonna   love   him   back .   I&#39;m   gonna   receive   his   love ,   I&#39;m   gonna   love   him   back .   Vertical   love ,   because   it&#39;s   not   until   I   receive   his   love   and   love   him   back   will   I   be   able   to   love   others .   And   I   just   feel   like ,   if   you   don&#39;t   love   yourself ,   I&#39;m   not   talking   about   like   arrogance   and   thinking   like   your   stuff   don&#39;t   stink   and   you   can&#39;t .   No ,   that&#39;s   not   what   I&#39;m   talking   about .   I&#39;m   talking   about   you   love   who   you   are .   You   know   what   I&#39;m   saying .   Like   you&#39;re   okay   with   you ,   you   know   that   you&#39;ve   been   forgiven ,   washed   by   the   blood   of   the   land .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>21:01</time>
      <p>
          I   don&#39;t   know   anything .   Jump   out   to   you .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>21:03</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   I   think   having   children   for   me   really   gave   me   a   better ,   just   example   of   God&#39;s   love   for   us   and   how   we   are   fearfully   and   wonderfully   made .   And   so   when   I   think   about   my   kids ,   I   know   they&#39;re   not   perfect ,   you   know ,   I   know   they   make   they   do   think   they   just   get   angry   with   them .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>21:23</time>
      <p>
          They   are   not   perfect .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>21:24</time>
      <p>
          You&#39;re   like   oh   my   gosh ,   but   I   still   love   them .   They&#39;re   one   like .   I   love   to   hear .   What   do   you   have   to   say ?   Just   talk   to   me   like   I   wanna   hear   from   them .   I   think   they   have   gifts   and   talents .   I&#39;m   not   their   God ,   but   I&#39;m   their   mother .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>21:35</time>
      <p>
          That&#39;s   what   it   is .   We   need   to   stop   expecting   people   to   be   perfect .   Yeah ,   we   need   to   stop   expecting   pastors   to   be   perfect .   We   not   stop   expecting   worship   recording   artists   to   be   perfect .   We   need   to   stop   expecting   our   kids   to   be   perfect ,   our   spouses   to   be   perfect ,   because   human   beings   aren&#39;t   perfect .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>21:51</time>
      <p>
          Now   I   know   that   we&#39;re   striving   for   perfection   which   means   that   we&#39;re   striving   for   maturity ,   not   perfection ,   and   I   think   this   word   has   been   tossed   around   a   little   bit   and   people   are   like   well ,   we   can   just   be   perfect .   And   I&#39;m   telling   you ,   there   are   people   who   are   trying   to   be   perfect   and   you&#39;re   driving   yourself   crazy   because   you&#39;re   not   gonna   be   perfect ,   even   though   you&#39;re   reaching   for   maturity .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>22:12</time>
      <p>
          Yes .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>22:13</time>
      <p>
          And   so   I   think   we   need   to   give   people   space   to   be   imperfect ,   mm-hmm .   Anyway .   Number   seven   is   speak   well   of   yourself   all   the   time .   Don&#39;t   tear   yourself   down ,   but   build   yourself   up .   When   you&#39;re   self-talk ,   it   seems   like   you&#39;re   doing   that   better .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>22:29</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   you   know   how   do   you   do   that ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>22:30</time>
      <p>
          Give   me   some   practical   ways .   How   do   I   build   myself   up   Self   talk ?   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>22:34</time>
      <p>
          Well ,   I   was   just   getting   ready   to   say   the   Bible   talks   about ,   you   know ,   the   Psalmist   that   said   bless   the   Lord ,   oh   my   soul   and   all   that   is   within   me .   I&#39;ll   bless   his   holy   name .   So   the   and   there&#39;s   a   few   other   examples   too .   Like   I   will   praise   the   Lord   at   all   times ,   I   mean ,   I   think   this   is   someone   who   is   setting   themselves   to   intentionally   bless   the   Lord ,   to   intentionally   praise   God ,   and   so   I   think ,   intentionally ,   we   have   to   build   ourselves   up ,   encourage   ourselves ,   and   so   I   start   off   in   the   morning   with ,   before   I   even ,   you   know ,   get   out   of   the   bed   bless   the   Lord ,   oh   my   soul   and   all   that   is   within   me .   This   is   the   day   of   the   Lord   has   made .   I   shall   rejoice   and   be   glad   in   it .   I&#39;m   just   setting   the   tone   and   the   pace   of   my   day   that ,   no   matter   what   comes   my   way ,   as   long   as   God   is   on   the   throne .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>23:21</time>
      <p>
          I&#39;m   going   to   rejoice   and   be   glad   in   it ,   but   it   speaks   to   myself   and   it   helps   me   to   stay   encouraged .   I&#39;m   training   myself   and   I&#39;ve   been   doing   it   for   years   now   that   when   I   look   in   the   mirror   I   just   tell   myself   that   I   look   good ,   that   I   look   beautiful ,   you   know ,   like   whatever   it   is ,   even   if   I   feel   like   my   makeup&#39;s   not   right   or   whatever ,   but ,   girl ,   you   still   look   good ,   you   still   got   it   together ,   and   compliment   myself   because   I   don&#39;t   know .   I   think   the   whole   world   can   tell   you   that   you&#39;re   beautiful ,   but   unless   you   tell   yourself   and   unless   you   know   you&#39;re   beautiful ,   what   the   whole   world   says   doesn&#39;t   matter .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>23:59</time>
      <p>
          Yeah .   So   for   me ,   you   know ,   the   scripture   says   if   you   decree   something ,   it&#39;s   established ,   and   I   do   believe   in   making   faith   declarations   or   faith   confessions ,   not   confess ,   like   going   to   a   priest   and   confess   your   sins   but ,   that   word   confess   comes   from   a   word   homologio .   Homo   meaning   same   logio .   The   word   it&#39;s   when   you   say   what   God   says   about   you   and   you   can   make   a   I   am   confession ,   I   am   fearfully   and   wonderfully   made ,   I   am   on   top .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>24:26</time>
      <p>
          I   am   more   than   a   conqueror .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>24:27</time>
      <p>
          I   am   the   lender ,   I   am   not   the   barter .   I&#39;m   beautiful   on   the   inside ,   I&#39;m   beautiful   on   the   outside ,   and   there&#39;s   something   that&#39;s   powerful   about   those   daily   affirmations .   Number   five   is   take   personal   time   for   yourself ,   treat   yourself   good ,   and   I   think   that   we   all   need   a   hobby ,   something   that   we   enjoy   doing ,   something   that   brings   us   life ,   and   give   ourself   permission   to   spend   money   on   it   and   also   spend   time   on   it .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>24:50</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   enjoy   life   Like   I&#39;m   looking   for   fun   stuff   to   do   all   the   time .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>24:55</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   yeah .   Number   six   would   be   strive   for   perfection   without   becoming   a   perfectionist   Kind   of .   Hit   that   one   already   but ,   you   know ,   we   want   to   strive   for   perfection .   We   want   to   grow   without   becoming   a   perfectionist ,   you   know .   And   number   seven   will   be   choose   to   live   a   life   of   delight .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>25:12</time>
      <p>
          And   this   one   is ,   without   question ,   my   cherry   on   the   top ,   because   there&#39;s   no   need   to   go   through   life   and   just   like   everything   is   such   a   dread   and   a   fret   and   a   pain   and   I   just   feel   like   even   the   problems   you   can   delight   knowing   that   God&#39;s   gonna   give   you   to   answer   and   problems ,   and   you&#39;ve   been   made   for   the   problem   and   His   grace   is   sufficient   for   you .   And   I   mean   shoot ,   the   joy   of   the   Lord   is   our   strength   and   so   if   you&#39;re   in   pain   and   going   through   a   bad   season ,   I   mean   getting   upset   about   it   ain&#39;t   gonna   help   now   and   I   need   the   joy   of   the   Lord .   You   know   what   I&#39;m   saying .   I   need   some   delight ,   and   so   I   just   believe   that   those   changes   in   perspective   will   bring   a   change   in   some   results .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>25:46</time>
      <p>
          Absolutely .   You   know ,   closing   no ,   that&#39;s   good .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>25:49</time>
      <p>
          Alright .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>25:49</time>
      <p>
          Grace   to   self .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>25:51</time>
      <p>
          And   so   our   prayer   for   you   is   that ,   from   this   day   forward ,   you   will   make   some   dramatic   changes   on   the   inside   of   you .   Not   to   condemn   yourself .   Be   hard   on   yourself .   I   feel   like   you&#39;re   a   nobody ,   that   you&#39;re   useless ,   but   you&#39;ll   give   grace   to   self .   Gts ,   we&#39;re   out   of   time   for   today ,   but   thank   you   so   much   for   joining   in   with   us   at   Doing   Life   with   Ken   and   Tabitha .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>26:11</time>
      <p>
          And   hey   guys ,   we&#39;re   coming   into   our   December   season ,   which   is   also   what   we   call   a   month   of   generosity .   Jesus   has   given   his   life   for   us   on   the   cross .   We&#39;re   about   to   celebrate   his   birthday   this   month   Before   our   church .   We   really   encourage   our   church   to   sow   a   seed   into   next   year ,   to   make   a   donation   into   the   work   of   the   ministry   to   help   us   change   more   lives .   We   wanna   extend   that   same   opportunity   to   you .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>26:35</time>
      <p>
          Actually ,   on   the   first   Sunday   in   December ,   our   church   does   a   thing   called   Super   Sunday ,   and   it&#39;s   so   simple .   We   just   ask   you   to   say   God ,   what   would   you   have   me   to   give ?   If   the   answer   is   nothing ,   don&#39;t   do   anything .   But   if   he   says ,   give   this ,   we   want   you   just   to   obey   the   voice   of   God .   Your   obedience   will   allow   us   next   year   to   reach   more   people   and   change   more   lives .   But   also ,   when   you   sow   into   this   anointing .   We   believe   that   you   will   be   a   partaker   of   it   and   we   wanna   see   your   marriages   and   relationships   be   all   that   God&#39;s   called   it   to   be .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>27:04</time>
      <p>
          And   so   we   got   Giving   Tuesday   coming   up .   We   got   Super   Sunday   coming   up .   We   got   a   whole   month   of   December .   If   you   would   love   to   give   to   what   we&#39;re   doing   here ,   please   follow   the   link   that&#39;s   in   the   show   notes ,   go   to   our   website   at   mylifeturchorg   backslashgive   and   you   can   do   that   there .   Okay ,   if   you&#39;re   new   or   to   our   broadcast ,   you   can   hit   the   subscribe   button ,   email   us ,   man ,   write   a   review .   We   would   love   to   hear   from   you .   They   really   encourage   us   and   just   know   that   we&#39;re   praying   for   you   and   standing   with   you ,   absolutely .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 2</cite>
      <time>27:31</time>
      <p>
          Hey ,   if   you&#39;re   ever   in   the   Orlando   area ,   stop   by   and   see   us   here   at   Alive   Church .   We&#39;d   love   to   see   you .   

      </p>

        <cite>Speaker 1</cite>
      <time>27:38</time>
      <p>
          Yeah ,   all   right ,   guys .   So   until   next   time .   We&#39;ll   see   you   next   Thursday   3   pm   sharp .   Make   sure   that   you   share   this   with   somebody   who   might   need   it .   We   love   you ,   guys .   We&#39;ll   see   you   soon ,   peace .   

      </p>