Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . All right , what's up everybody ?
Speaker 1Welcome to another episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped to have you guys joining us today and we feel like we have a great show for you . We're gonna talk to you about you becoming the CEO of your home . We're gonna unpack that and what that really means in just a minute , but let me tell you you don't wanna touch that . Now we're gonna share some things that's really going to be life changing for you today , and so welcome .
Speaker 2Yes , first , if you're new to this podcast , we wanna say welcome and thank you for coming and just being a part of this . We always pray for the people who watch , that we will make an impact , that you actually can use the material , the information that we give out , and that it'll be a blessing in your life .
Speaker 1So we're just excited to share with you hey quick question have you guys heard about the Better Marriage Bootcamp ? I mean , we talk about it all the time . It's just because we know how life changing it could be for your marriage If you are married .
Speaker 2And we put a lot into it .
Speaker 1We put a whole lot of work into it Like old school would say we put our foot in it . That means that we gave you everything that we had .
Speaker 2This is the full course meal .
Speaker 1Yeah , we give you 12 segments of 24 years . We take all of the principles that we've learned about marriage over the last 24 years and we gave you the best things that you would need to have a better marriage . And it doesn't matter . If your marriage is great , it can get greater . If it's horrible , it can be better . You can , but you have to make an investment , and so if you're interested with being one of the people that goes through our bootcamp to whip your marriage into shape , head over to our website there's a link in the show notes and check it out . Sign up . Let us know , as you go through this 90 day journey , how it impacts your marriage and takes it to another level , but we're pumped about today .
Speaker 1Today's segment is entitled Becoming the CEO of the home , and today's segment is for husbands and wives , it's for married people and single people , it's for old people and young people , it's for business people , it's for employers and employees , and so , traditionally , the acronym CEO stands for what ?
Speaker 2Chief Executive Officer , come on girl .
Speaker 1I don't know if I would have got that right , but I would have thought about it for a minute .
Speaker 2I had to think about it , but Chief Executive Officer .
Speaker 1And what does a CEO do ? Here's the definition the CEO is the highest ranking person in a company . While every company differs , CEOs normally manage the overall operations and profitability of a company , so typically the CEO is the head person in charge . The problem is that in many marriages there are too many CEOs and not enough CEOs . There are too many CEOs , chief executive officers , people who are in charge , people wanna make the last call , but not enough CEOs . And the second term of CEO is being a chief encouragement officer . Okay , and so when we talk about being the CEO of your home , drumroll please . That's what we're talking about . It's about us being a chief encouragement officer and we need more CEOs in the home . Chief encouragement officer , the chief encouragement officer . And there's too many CEOs People telling everybody what to do but not enough people really giving encouragement .
Speaker 2All right , you got that right .
Speaker 1And so today we wanna talk about you becoming a CEO . All right Now . One of my goals for this year is that I become a better CEO . I actually thought about changing my profile on my social media to CEO in the making . That's my goal for 2024 . Because when it comes to how I lead our staff and we have a staff of probably right around 30 people I wanna be a CEO . I wanna be an encouragement officer . When it comes to how I lead our home , I wanna be the CEO . I wanna be the chief encouragement officer when it comes to atmospheres .
Speaker 1And so this is what you have to hear about being a CEO is that when you bring encouragement and positivity into any environment , it gets better compared to what you would do if you were negative and critical and fault finding . Literally , this is a way for you to get promoted at your work . People are looking for encouraging positive people . This is a way for you to have better business dealings . People are looking for encouraging positive people . This is a way for you to get married and to help your marriage . We are looking for CEOs . The world is in need of CEOs . Any thoughts about that ?
Speaker 2to start off , yeah , I think you're right . There's so much in our daily lives that compete with God's vision and God's word . Which is positive and good . In our lives . It tears us down all day , every day , whether it's on our jobs , social media , whether it's comparison , whether it's us tearing ourselves down , unmet expectations , unrealistic expectations . There's so many things that compete for our positivity .
Speaker 1And can I just speak to the really religious person for a moment who feels like this is just self-help and positivity ? Stop right for a moment . You gotta come to the end because I'm gonna show you in the Bible why this is so important . And just take it from me After 22 years of ministry there are too many negative , fault-finding , critical people that are married and they are destroying their marriages because they don't understand what it means to be an encourager . They don't understand that it's even in the Bible . And there are so many people that are destroying their churches because they don't understand how not the fault find , but to be a CEO . And honestly and here's the honest truth is that I am naturally a little bit more serious . My vibe , my natural vibe , is a little bit more weighty . I'm a little bit of a heavier personality and I know that about myself .
Speaker 1But at the same time if you go way back , like our son Kenny , like naturally I'm kind of jovial too . Naturally I'm kind of like a carefree kind of person , naturally . And so what I found out is that I'm naturally a carefree , lighthearted , joyous , non-judgmental person . But as I've aged and as I've taken on more responsibility , more success , more challenges , I've stepped into seasons where I have tons of weight and seriousness to my personality , and so my default is to go serious .
Speaker 1But what I found out is that I'm a better me and more like Jesus if I walk in the joy of the Lord , which is my strength , and I cast all of my cares towards Him . And so I have to be very intentional , not to go towards my default , but to be intentional with making sure that I bring encouragement into every environment that I'm in . I'm the kind of person that if I come and I say something , I can mess up a person's whole day because I didn't acknowledge them , I didn't see them or I didn't just ask how they were doing , isn't that ?
Speaker 1true , yeah , absolutely , I'm like a staff and a church and our teams and my business dealings . Because I have that weighty part of my personality , I have to be so intentional , like this morning . I came in and I'm like I'm going to go in and I'm just going to say hello to everybody , I'm going to let them know how important they are , so forth , so and you can just see people just lighten up , like , oh my God , I have the ability to create that kind of atmosphere and I believe other people have that as well . Yeah , absolutely .
Speaker 2I think . Just in different roles that we play in life , we have different expectations and so , like you as a leader , yeah , when people , when you walk in the room , people are excited to see you because you know they're like oh wow , there's Pastor Ken . They're excited to see you , whether they're employee or anyone . But now if you come in and you do something other than encourage and you bring and you know you bring something negative , oh that's a big let down and beat them up . It's a big let down . But also , as a father , when the kids come in , they're happy to see you . If you come in and bring something negative , it's a big let down .
Speaker 1Are they happy to see me ? They act like they're not .
Speaker 2You know , I understand what you're saying , but no , they are . I've read the statistics and I've heard people , you know , that are , like , you know , 18 , 19, . Yeah , don't you know , don't give up . They're listening , they understand . So , yeah , but I'm just trying to point out that , yeah , when you are negative , it really brings down the whole room , it brings down people . But I'm saying that also to accentuate when you're positive , it does so much more . I mean , people need sunshine , People need a smile . You know I was .
Speaker 2You know , today we have a recording day and we have to wake up early and do a lot of things and I take the kids to school in the morning and I like I was late because I'm packing clothes and things like that , and so I couldn't make breakfast for them . Well , they didn't eat breakfast and I never go to Dunkin Donuts , right . But I was just like , oh , here's Dunkin Donuts by the store , by the school , we'll go to Dunkin Donuts . I rolled in Dunkin Donuts , I got me a big black coffee . It was wonderful . I got them some like hash browns and sandwiches and I'm like , okay , great , you know , I'm riding out of Dunkin Donuts . Well , it's in this little teeny parking lot and I had never been there , so I didn't know how the parking lot rolled . And there's like nobody there , because it's like seven am , so I roll around the parking lot and but then I was in the lane of like the so the car that was coming to me .
Speaker 2I was in his lane and it was this guy in a red car , he I think he would have punched me in my face if we work like . He was so furious with me and I was just kind of I was just like , wow , he's really mad . And I was like , oh my , and I'm just whatever . Oh , my bad , I pulled over whatever . And then I was looking , I'm so I was just like you know , passing up . I was just like I told my kids , I was just like you know what ? He would have punched me in the face . But people and this is my point I'm like whoa , why are people so angry ? What's everybody so mad ? People are angry and people are sad and they're being pulled at from every direction and there are so little things that are positive nowadays . If you can just smile , if you can just wave . I think this chief encouragement officer thing is going to go a long way .
Speaker 1How would you define encouragement ?
Speaker 2Encouragement is uplifting . It's anything that can you know uplift , that can motivate in a good way .
Speaker 1Do you look at yourself as an encouraging person ? I do Okay , wow , what would you say ?
Speaker 2that I think that you know , I don't know , I just refuse to settle for less . I think I think I don't like it when I go around and I'm a helper and I want to help people and so when I see people and I see them sad or for whatever reason , I just have this faith in God that I know that it could be better . I think I see people and I don't see where they are , but I see their potential . I see people . I know you're going through a bad time right now , no matter what it is , but I know that it can be better . I know that your situation can change and I might not be able to do anything about it , but I know that I can speak the word of God over it . And so I don't know .
Speaker 1I just think Do you feel like I'm an encouraging person .
Speaker 2I think you are . I think you're a different kind of encouragement than you know , than what I am . So you know I'm more like more personality . I'm gonna come in and notice and say things and maybe be loud and declare some things over your life and cheer you up , tell a funny joke or something like that . I think you're more encouragement and I mean you're really gentle and kind and so like if I had a problem I think you would . You lower your voice , I hear you . You'll ask me questions , you'll crack a joke here or there and you'll speak life into the situation . I think that's encouragement .
Speaker 1Do you feel like you've noticed me lately being intentional with being a CEO ?
Speaker 2I think you've been like that for a while now , I think dating back to the cancer journey and overcoming cancer . When God gave you a revelation about joy . That's when I first saw a change in you .
Speaker 1I mean honestly , I don't feel like I've been doing the best job with the joy piece or the best job with encouragement piece , and I say that because I think it's not something that you arrive at , it's almost something like you got a continual strive for . It's not like you get here like , okay , I made it , I'm there . It's like every single day and every way . I still have to continue to strive to bring encouragement .
Speaker 1So there's been tons of stuff weight responsibility , challenges , setbacks but it's like a continual reminder the joy of the Lord is my strength . I'm gonna be an encourager , even though I'm going through a lot right now . I'm not gonna project that on my team that takes a lot
of discipline .
Speaker 2I think the key into being a CEO , a chief encouragement officer , is that in order to stay steady in it , you have to remember to encourage yourself as well , because if you're not first encouraged , you can't encourage other people . And I think in your life there's so many things I mean with our kids , you know , teenagers , college , high school , middle school , all of that stuff , the businesses that we do , the ministry that's going on , all of these things . There's so much I see you take on and handle in a day that it's easy to feel like discouraged , like oh man , I didn't get to do this or that or the other , or maybe you wanted to encourage more , but you are doing it . You know you have to remember , at the end of the day , to encourage yourself and I think that's biblical as well to build yourself up in your most holy faith .
Speaker 1Yeah , I would give a definition for encouragement to our audience . It is the action of giving someone support , confidence or hope , the action of giving someone support , confidence or hope . My second definition would be to inspire with courage or the spirit of hope , and so there's synonymous words with encouragement , words like inspiration , reassurance and support . And so if you say I want to be a CEO , you're saying that I want to be an inspirational person , I want to be , I want to give people reassurance and I want to give them support . And if you want to be a CEO of your home , it's saying that I want to give my wife reassurance , I want to give my wife support and I want to inspire her . Or vice versa , I want to give my husband reassurance , okay , and that's how you become a CEO of the home .
Speaker 1And for me to be a CEO of the home is like a personal decision that you get a revelation on the power of your positivity or the power of your encouragement . You know , I read a book and I would , I would really recommend , especially business people and people that are supervisor . It's called the energy bus by John Gordon , and John Gordon is a believer and he's in the business world , but he talks about . It's a fable about a man who feels like giving up on his marriage , giving up on his career and everything because things just aren't going his way .
Speaker 1And he gets on a bus and the bus driver teaches him ten principles of having the right kind of energy , and I see that in my staff and in my team that there's sometimes people go through things and they come to the office with the wrong energy . Yeah , they just go through life and they go home with the wrong energy and you're sleeping in the bed by besides somebody and you just got the wrong energy . And there's just something about becoming a chief encouragement officer that changes the wrong energy . And so here's some scripture . Okay , first the look . Thessalonians 511 tell me what you get out of this . It says , therefore , encourage one another and build each other up , just as , in fact , you're doing . What jumps out to you at that ?
Speaker 2I think it's just confirmation that , like , yes , you should encourage . The fact that the Bible is commanding us to encourage one another means that we need encouragement . Like okay , we need to be encouraged .
Speaker 1Look at what it's saying . So this is a command , this is an instruction . The opposite would be would discourage each other and tear each other down , and that's actually more common in some homes than the opposite . So the Bible says encourage one another , build each other
up . First Thessalonians 5 from 14, . It says and we urge you , brothers and sisters , warn those who are idle and disruptive , encourage the dishearted , help the weak and be patient with everybody . The Bible has given us this , this God , this playbook , this , this vibe , this mantra of how we ought to be as the salt of the earth and the light of the world . And so what sticks out to you of that one ? First Thessalonians 5 , 14 .
Speaker 2Help the weak . Be patient with everyone . Encourage the dishearted .
Speaker 1Yeah , God Duncan , don't us . He needs to read first Thessalonians 5 , 14 .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , but it wasn't . I wasn't offended by him at all . It really tapped into me to be like this guy . Something's going on in his life .
Speaker 1How many wives are just so upset ?
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1This isn't so upset that he turned the left the lights on ? And how many husbands are so upset that she , you know , come on , man , chill out take a chill pill , chillax you know what I'm saying ? You got your blood pressure going off and the Duncan don't , at 7am with my family in the car . What's wrong with you ? You need to learn how to encourage the dishearted Hebrews . 10 and 24 says , and let us consider how we might spur one another on towards love and good deeds to spur each other on .
Speaker 1So watch this . The CEO is positioning ourself to encourage the dishearted and to spur other people on , to encourage them to build them up Anything , stick out there .
Speaker 2I mean just that . What is it that ? I think again , the very fact that it's saying to encourage , encourage , encourage in different parts of the scripture . We need it .
Speaker 1There's more proverbs 12 and 25 . It says anxiety weighs down the heart , but a kind word cheers it up . And so if you're a married person , what would happen ? I think what people are waiting to do . Well , he got to talk kind to me before I talk kind to him , or he needs to encourage me , or she needs to talk kind to me before I talk kind to her . She needs to encourage me first . No , why don't you sow a seed ? See , a lot of people want to harvest and they haven't sow the seed . You go in with kind words , no matter what kind of words they're using , absolutely you be the hero in the home .
Speaker 1You can be the CEO of the home .
Speaker 2Yeah , we have to understand . I mean , the battle is not against flesh and blood . We're not fighting each other , we're fighting powers and principalities . So , even when you are speaking negative words , if there's no person in the room and you're speaking negative words , number one , you're influencing yourself because you hear these negative words , and number two , you're influencing the spirit realm . Number three , you're influencing your environment . So , those negative words , if you were in a room by yourself all day long speaking bad words , bad words , bad words and someone else were to walk in that room , do you know what they would feel ? Yeah , bad , just bad . They would feel a dark cloud , they would feel negative energy , because that's the power that you have in your words .
Speaker 1For .
Speaker 2God said let there be light . And there was light . There is life and death in the power of your tongue . But if you start speaking life , the opposite of what I said would happen . People walk in the room and say I just feel good , man , I was having a bad day , but I just feel good right now .
Speaker 1There's power and people say that all the time in our church just something about the atmosphere .
Speaker 1It's just people loving people , encouraging people , prophesying over people , and that can happen in our homes and in our marriages as well . You know Romans 15 and two . Here's a command that says each of us should please our neighbors for their good to build them up . We should actually please our neighbors for their good and build them up . Build them up . Tear them down , but build them up . That means that's what it means to be a CEO , and so I mean the proverbs go off and it kind of goes the other direction .
Speaker 1I'm going to read a few proverbs . After I read at the end I want to tell you , tell me , what you get out of this . Listen to this . Proverbs 29 , 29 , it says it's better to live on a corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife . Proverbs 21 and 19 , it says it's better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife . Proverbs 27 , 15 says a quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm . Proverbs 25 and 24 says better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife . I got questions . Proverbs 19 and 13 says the foolish child is the father's ruin and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof . Proverbs 14 and one says that the wise woman builds her house , but with her own hands , the foolish one tears her down .
Speaker 1Now , proverbs is written by Solomon . Solomon , he got some issues here with his wives . That's who Solomon was . But there's some things happening here and like it's all between proverbs 14 and proverbs 17 . So within about 10 or so chapters 13 chapters of the Bible you're hearing this common thing . I got questions . I got questions , like you know . Why is this pointed towards a woman more than a man ? Is that , is that like a temptation for more wives ? What's going on with King Solomon ? Was this like a big deal for him ? Is it a big deal for people in different houses around the world today ? What is your thoughts about this ?
I just think it speaks to the power of a woman , I think it speaks to the power of her words and her role as a wife in the house that if she is the CEO , she sets the atmosphere , she sets the tone of the house .
Speaker 2And so I personally think that a woman runs that house . If this is happy , happy spouse , happy house , where the man is the head of the house , truly indeed . But if that woman has a stank attitude , if that woman isn't submissive , if that woman doesn't care , that house is going to be just is not going to be a good atmosphere there . It doesn't matter what the man's doing . If the woman doesn't want to be happy , she's not going to be happy . So therefore , she controls what's going on in that marriage . She controls what's going on in that house . However , if that woman is a woman of God and submits her character and submits her attitude and submits everything to God in his word , well , she will be submitted to her household , she will be submitted to her husband and that house will be loving , it will be kind , it will be an encouraging atmosphere .
Speaker 1Can I stop you right there ? Can you look right into that camera and just prophesy over a woman who's been called to be a CEO but there's been some things that's been holding her back . Can you just speak into that potential ?
Speaker 2and call that out of her very quickly because she needs this .
Speaker 1This is going to save her marriage .
Speaker 2Absolutely . I think that you've been caught up in like it's funny that you say that , I just see you caught up in just a web . It's just like strings and strings tangled all around you and you're frustrated . You've been deceived , you've been listening to lies , but you know what ? I think ? That through this podcast , god is empowering you right now to be able to break all of those lies , to break all of those strings , to break free of all of the things that have bound you to the spirit of negativity that you have been saying things out of your mouth .
Speaker 2You don't want to say it , you don't like to say it , you hate being positive , but you've been feeling like you were trapped and I don't know what to do . You start , you just get mad and you just go off no more . In the name of Jesus , there is a way out . God is able to break those bondages , he's able to break wrong mindsets and it's all going through your faith right now and your ability and willingness to submit to God and say God , I submit my ways , I let go of my ways and I want your ways . Father , help me to speak the words that you want me to say , help me to calm down . Help me to hear my spouse and hear my children and hear my loved ones and respond with a loving heart and not out of retaliation . I believe God is renewing your heart and mind in this area .
Speaker 1So good , so good , and I also see a man who just you've almost given up on life . You know that you've been called to be the head , but you haven't been being the head , you haven't been leading , and I believe that God , there's a sleeping giant on the inside of you that's been sleeping and God is causing him to awaken again and I want to speak over your potential man of God . It's time for you to arise and it's time for you to awaken , and I just want to pray for those men right now . I want to prophesy over you , because you've been feeling like man I have a lot of weight on me and you feel like , can you go on ? Can you carry it ? And it's been hard for you to be CEO because you've been so down in the dumps about where your life is . But I want you to know that your best days are still out in front of you and you don't let the world to define what your success is . You need to turn that measuring stick over to your creator .
Speaker 1He's the only one that can define success for you . And I want you to know that you have been called to be the CEO of your home . And I want to speak to those of you all who are actual CEOs . You are chief executive officers , you are managers , you are supervisors , you are influencers and you are business owners , and you do so many things to be the best CEO and manager and influencer that you can be .
Speaker 1But you're giving your wife the crumbs . You're giving her your leftovers . You're giving God your crumbs . You're giving God your leftovers . And God is saying today that he wants to be your first love , he wants to be number one and he wants your wife to be number two . After your business , after your success , after your portfolio , after your investment , he wants to be number one . He's a jealous God and I believe that if you can make up your mind to be a chief encouragement officer over a chief executive officer , god's going to begin to bless you as you begin to bless all of the people that are around you . And I sense marriages changing man . I'm sensing churches changing .
Speaker 1I'm sensing environment changes as we divorce and renounce being fault finders , as we divorce and renounce being judgmental and critical . And we become the CEOs of every environment that we step into . We're going to bring the light where there's darkness .
Speaker 2Can I get a good amen right there ? Amen , you know what I see as you were spoken . I see the men and women listening to this podcast . Right now , you're going to begin to speak words that are encouraging and positive , and I just saw them being seeds , like seeds were being thrown into the ground , and what you have to remember is that seeds produce a harvest , seeds produce fruit and as you go and you begin to be positive , you are going to have a harvest of positivity . You're going to have a harvest of encouragement , a harvest of joy , a harvest of peace . You're going to see it happen in your family , your businesses .
Speaker 1So good . So we're going to give you 10 ways to become the CEO of your home . Just to make it as practical as we possibly can . We're going to give them to you quickly for the sake of time . Number one you can smile more often . A smile lifts the environment . It lifts your mood .
Speaker 2That's right .
Speaker 1Number two listen genuinely when your spouse talks . Let their word have meaning to you . Don't doze off and think about the next thing . Number three take absolutely nothing for granted . Notice and appreciate small things about your husband . Notice small things about your wife . She should not be able to get her hair done and you don't even notice it . Number four compliment them regularly and consistently . Not just flattery , just saying words for words sake . Mean what you're saying . All right . Number five believe in them . Speak into them prophetically . Take what we just did , where you see what a person could become , and begin to declare it until it's established . Number six let them know how much you support them . Sometimes your spouse needs to know it don't matter where you go , I'm going with you . It doesn't matter if you fail , I'm going to fail with you . If you succeed , I'm going to succeed with you .
Speaker 1Number seven tell them how proud you are of them . I mean sometimes , especially men , we need to hear our wives say I'm proud of you , I'm proud of the man that you've become , I'm proud of the husband , I'm proud of the father that you are . Number eight never allow your words to tear them down or to degrade them . Speak life over them , even when you feel like they don't deserve it . Okay , and so there's so many things you can . Number nine planning the fun . Stay adventurous . Always date each other . If you're married , come on y'all . And number 10 , honor them on big occasions 21st birthday , 30th birthday , 40th birthday , 50th birthday , 25 years of marriage . Build a memorial . Don't take those things like oh , that's not a big deal . No , make things a big deal . That's just the way that you can encourage them and let them know you're proud of them and honor them and stand with them . And so that's 10 ways that you can become the CEO of your home .
Speaker 1We wanna hear all of the testimonies . This is something that I've been working on for a couple of years in my life , and I'm even working on it more right now , and I think that the reason that maybe some of you all are enjoying this podcast is because we're doing everything we can to build you up and not tear you down . That means a lot to people , and so just spread the love , all right , and so we're out of time for today . We love you guys . Man , if this is your first time joining us , make sure if you're watching YouTube , you hit the subscribe button so that you can be the first to get the content when we release it every Thursday .
If you want a better marriage , check out the Better Marriage Bootcamp . Jump over there right now to KenneKtavithercom or thebettermarriagebootcampcom . We believe an investment in your marriage will go very far to helping it be better . If you wanna come and hang out with us if tickets are still available for our 25-year Val Renewal and Anniversary Gala that we're having all of the proceeds will go to helping people overcome cancer as well and just know that you're not alone , you're cherished , your love , and that we're with you and standing with you .
Speaker 1And until next time . Thank you for tuning in to Doing Life with Kenne and Tavither . Keep getting better , because when you get better , the marriage will get better . We'll see you soon , Peace .