Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We want to do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . Hello everybody .
Speaker 2Hi everyone , what's ?
Speaker 1up . Welcome to another edition of Doing Life with Ken and .
Speaker 2Tabitha .
Speaker 1We are pumped to be with you guys today . We've been married for 24 years . We always jokingly say it's been the best 22 years of our lives , and so we get the honor of being able to share with you our wins , our losses , our ups and our downs . And we got a good one for you . Today we're going to be talking about the importance of training . Do not touch that down Training , because the training is for the reigning .
Speaker 2All right now . Well , for those of you who are new to our podcast , welcome . We are always praying that the people who find this podcast are the people who need it and can benefit from it . So we're so glad you're here and we pray that it's going to be a blessing for you .
Speaker 1Yeah , we say God , just let people around the world find this podcast that needed , and we don't believe you're here by an accident . You know we really want to help your marriage gets better . For those of you all who are married or about to get married , and we believe it doesn't matter how bad your relationship currently is it can get better . We've seen God do miracles , but what we've also learned is that that's going to take an investment .
Speaker 2It absolutely is Many people .
Speaker 1They want a better marriage , but they're just not willing to invest in it . And this is what I say to people You're either going to pay now or you're going to pay later , but you're going to pay . You're either going to pay for marriage counseling for the next two years , you're going to pay alimony or divorce child support , or you're going to pay and invest in the right thing so that your marriage can get better . And so , if you won't help with your marriage , we've developed a 90 day boot camp that we're calling it the better marriage boot camp . We want to help your marriage go from bad to good , good to great and great to out of this world . If you want more information about our boot camp , we're going to take you on a 12th part , 90 day journey .
Speaker 1And we give you 24 years of our ups and downs and we're going to be your marriage mentors and your marriage coaches . If that bears witness with you , join us at Ken and Tabithacom or you can follow the link in our show notes to find out more information about our boot camp . All right , I'm pumped for today . All right , today's episode is why it's called the fully trained marriage . The fully trained marriage , all right , and how does that title make you feel ?
Speaker 2The fully trained marriage . I don't know , it's a bit vague . It makes me inquisitive , like what does that mean ? But personally I like training . I like you know a kind of that perfectionist kind of personality you are . I like to do things right . Tell me what to do so I can do it right , like I want success in my life , so I kind of like it .
Speaker 1Yeah , Well , there's an assumption that I'm making that there are people that don't like the word training .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Do you think that's true ?
Speaker 2I think that's very true , yeah .
Speaker 1So when it's like trained , it's almost this sentiment of like well , I'm not a dog , I don't need trained , right , but have you ever worked at a job and they put you in there and you wasn't trained for the job ?
Speaker 1It's like one of the most frustrating things in the world , absolutely , I mean years ago I remember working for a company and they had this complicated intranet system and you were supposed to do all this stuff on , but I could not figure it out . I mean , months went by and I just didn't know how to log in and get around in the system and it was just so upsetting because nobody would train me . And after they trained me , I ended up becoming one of the best salespeople . That was a part of it and I was actually an intern but was just graded because I just needed training . And I think that some people don't understand that the training is for the reigning and we actually need training . We need training in our marriages . We need training in our business life , in our careers , in our professions . We need training spiritually and instead of rejecting training , we should actually embrace it so good .
Speaker 2I think people don't like it here . I'm thinking about this , as you keep saying training , training , training . I think in our society now we don't mind being educated .
Speaker 1Yeah , we got to get a sexy order .
Speaker 2Getting educated . We don't mind being maybe counseled or just anything like that . But training that says I mean there's work in that . It says that it's kind of like you have to roll up your sleeves and actually it's going to be uncomfortable at times .
Speaker 1I'm in a season in my life , at 45 years old , where I've been working out for all of my life . I've always been an athlete , I've always been working out , but right now I'm in a slump and I need a personal trainer . I need someone who's going to come over to the house , keep me accountable , help me with what I'm eating , push me beyond my comfort zone , push me beyond my limits . Without question , if I continue to do it myself , I will not get to the goals that I have . I need training , and I believe that there's a lot of people that they have goals that they will never get to until they hire , so to say , someone to push them beyond their comfort zone , to get them to the place that they really want to be in .
Speaker 2So good .
Speaker 1I remember years ago , even in ministry , the first trip that we ever took with our pastors . I was probably 24 . You were probably 26 years old and our pastors at the time they asked us to go on a trip with them . They were going to preach , let's just say , in North Carolina .
Speaker 2Oh , my goodness .
Speaker 1And they say , hey , Ken and Tabitha , do you want to go with us ? And we was like , yeah , we want to go . I remember like it was yesterday . I got the cleanest cut ever . I got me a new three-piece suit . I was traveling with the pastors and now I didn't know anything else . I was completely green to serving a man and woman of God . I didn't know that I could open up doors for them . Look out for the briefcase .
Speaker 1We didn't know that capacity of serving All we knew is that they were asking us to go with them , right . And then my pastor , it was just us four . He left his suit jacket in the airport and he had to preach with no suit jacket on just a suit with no jacket .
Speaker 2Well , it's time to go . We get off the plane . We're waiting in the airport for our ride . The ride comes . Hey , let's get up and go . We go with every , we go with the pastors . He leaves his jacket . We had no idea that . Maybe we could have helped .
Speaker 1Well , I didn't know that I was there for that . I was just alone for the ride . And at the end of this trip I remember his wife looks at me and she says y'all need training . And in my 24 year old mind I was like what does she mean ? We need training ? I had a business degree . I owned my own business .
Speaker 1I was in real estate at the time and I was like , what does she mean ? But now , 22 years later , looking back , oh , we need a training , absolutely . We need a training on how to serve , we need a training on how to use the thought , we need training in the Bible how to be aware we need a training on everything and that is a word for somebody who's watching today .
Speaker 1Yes , you're all that . Yes , you're educated . Yes , you bad by yourself , but you still need some training . You need somebody that's going to take you from one level to a whole other level , and so my hope for you today is that you embrace training , and I want to unpack this one scripture that I've really and we're going to spend some time on this today . It's found over in Luke , chapter 6 . Ok , and so I have two goals today to help us embrace training number one and number two to give us four keys to embracing training .
Speaker 1But Luke , chapter 6 , verse 40 , is our inspiration
for today . And watch what this one says . It says and tell me what you get . The student is not above the teacher , but everybody who is fully trained say fully trained will be like their teacher . The student is never above their teacher , but everybody who's fully trained will be like their teacher . Which jumps out to you , sweetheart , Anything ?
Speaker 2I think that , as a student , we we want to be like our teacher . That's why we're listening to the teacher , that's why we're being trained by the teacher . We want to be like them . So I think that's great . I don't know , I just hear honor in it , I hear humility in it , that if the teacher is great , then the student is going to become great because he's gonna do his job in training the teacher and fully training the student , and so as the student becomes great like the teacher I don't know , it's just remember to always honor those who taught you what you know .
Speaker 1Okay . So there is this assumption that we are students and that we're teachable , that we're pliable , that we're humble , and because I think that some people , as long as they're saved well , I've been saved for 30 years and it's almost like they use their longevity as a badge to be in pride , Instead of just saying I'm going to be teachable for the rest of my life . For the rest of my life , I'm going to be a teacher , but I'm also going to be a student .
Speaker 1For the rest of my life . I'm going to be a student to some and I'm going to be a teacher to others . I think that's the will of God for us , absolutely so . For me , the first part talks about honor . Just like you said , this first part when it says a student is not above his teacher , but everybody who's fully trained will be like his teacher . To me , it's showing us the importance of respecting and honoring spiritual authority . Years ago I learned this principle that to be in spiritual authority , you needed to be under spiritual authority . That's good .
Speaker 1The Centurion soldier taught us that in the New Testament , jesus wanted to come to his house . He was like listen , I'm a man who's in authority and I'm a man who's under authority , and I'm not worthy for you to come in my house . Jesus , speak the word only , and my servant will be healed . What he was saying is that because I'm in authority , I understand authority , and to be in authority , you also have to be under authority , and so I think that's a principle that many people need to grab hold of , because they don't have spiritual authority . You pray and the sick don't get healed . You try to cast out devils and the devils beat you up and don't come out . You pray and the fire doesn't fall . I mean , nothing happens because you're not under spiritual authority . See for demons to get nervous at your name . You first need to be under spiritual authority to actually be in authority .
Speaker 2Yes .
Speaker 1You agree with that ?
Speaker 2Yes , absolutely . I think Jesus exemplified this in his life in more ways than one . As he washed the feet of his disciples , jesus said that the servant shall be the greatest . I think those are just other examples of that humility , that honor , and so I think it's just really important .
Speaker 1Can I give you a side note ? The older that I get , the more humble I'm trying to become .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1The more success that I have , the more humble I'm trying to become . The bigger the platform , the more humble , teachable and pliable I want to be . Unfortunately , people have that the opposite way the older they get , the more prideful they get . The more platform and more success they have , the more prideful they get . But the Bible says that if you exalt yourself and you get proud , god's gonna bring you low . But if you can keep low , god's gonna exalt you .
Speaker 1And I think we need to reverse that a little bit , and so this first part to me is talking about the importance of honoring and respecting authority , because rebellion is normal in our day . Honor is abnormal , so we need to live abnormally , and this is a truth . We teach our kids , don't we ? We teach them to respect their teachers because they're their teachers . We teach them to respect their coaches because they're their coaches . We teach our children to respect the law enforcement offices because they're the dog on police .
Speaker 1And it's not because they're perfect and it's not because they do everything perfect . It's because they're in an office that God has allowed , and so what the Bible tells us to do is to honor those who are in authority , because they're in authority and it will be peaceable with us or it will go well with us . So we don't just honor them because they do everything we want them to do . We honor them because they're in a position of authority as unto the Lord , and when we honor them as unto the Lord , I'm preaching better than you say amen , thank God will honor us because of that position .
Speaker 2Do you agree with that ? Yes , I agree .
Speaker 1It's almost like Daniel's son had respect for Mr Miyagi remember that Karate kid ?
Speaker 2Oh , my goodness , yes , karate kid .
Speaker 1Yeah , you remember part number one .
Speaker 2Yes , that was the best one .
Speaker 1Yeah well , they've tried to come out with a remake now , and it's not the same Daniel's son . He's old like us . Daniel's son yep he's old like us , but it's good , though it's still good . But no , if you remember , karate , kid number one , daniel's son , daniel , was getting beat up , and so he wanted to learn karate . So he came to Mr Miyagi and Mr Miyagi was gonna teach him karate , but instead he said hey , I want you to paint my house .
Speaker 2And so .
Speaker 1Daniel's out there , he's painting the house man . And then he says I want you to paint my fence . Daniel's out there , he's painting the fence man . He said I want you to wash my car . Daniel is out there washing the car Wax on wax off and so , all of a sudden , wax on , wax off .
Speaker 1Daniel gets upset and Daniel's like man , what are you doing ? I'm out here cleaning for you and painting for you and you supposed to be teaching me karate . And Mr Miyagi is like Daniel's son . He's like come here and he's like wax on and he starts throwing punches and Daniel is blocking the punches . He says paint the fence , and he's painting the fence . And Daniel's blocking all of the punches . And he's like paint my house , and he's painting the house and he's blocking all of the punches . And what he didn't realize is that he was being trained .
Speaker 1And he didn't even know that he was being trained , and I believe that we all need to be trained Like . This is not just a marriage podcast , it's a marriage training module . Our boot camp is not just a boot camp , it's a marriage training module Because many times we need to be trained and we don't even know we need to be trained Because Satan is throwing all kinds of punches towards your relationships and towards your destiny and towards your calling and you need some spiritual wax on , wax off .
Speaker 1You need some spiritual ability to block all of the plans of the enemy towards you . We actually need to be trained , wow .
Speaker 2I love that being trained and not even knowing it . I think there's a lot of times in my life I'll speak for myself where I was probably being trained and didn't know it , even in early years of giving birth and becoming a new mom , and in the early years of our marriage , in the early years of ministry , or anytime you embark or endeavor on something new , it's kind of like it's so uncomfortable and you're like , oh my gosh , this feels crazy , but actually you're being trained . You just don't realize it . And then you get trained to the point where it's like , okay , I got this . Well , you were in the training process .
Speaker 1And many times God will show you the promise but not the process Meaning he will show you what he's called you to do , but he won't show you all of the training that you gotta go through in order to be ready to handle the weight and the warfare that comes with that promotion
.
Speaker 2But here's the thing , the training's okay .
Speaker 1It's good .
Speaker 2You have to complete the training .
Speaker 1But not if you reject training .
Speaker 2Not if you run from the training .
Speaker 1Not if you get upset with your trainers . You gotta come to the place where you actually say , no , I need to be trained .
Speaker 2Well , what can happen is you start the training process , you get a little bit into it and then you quit . And then you go someplace else , and now you gotta start the process all back over again . That's frustrating .
Speaker 1I mean , we've been in ministry , that's training . We've been in ministry over 20 years and we see people live their lives in those cycles . They start training , stop training , start training , stop training . 10 years later they are starting .
Speaker 2It's like forever being in elementary school . Oh , imagine being trapped in junior high oh gosh junior high is the worst middle school the smoke got me , smoke got me . No one knows what we're talking about . It's okay , I don't care .
Speaker 1But this first part here is talking about honor to me of Luke , chapter six , verse 40 . But the second part , it says , let's read it again the student is not above the teacher , but everybody who's fully trained will be like their teacher will be like their teacher and so the second part to me . What does it stick out to you from the second part ?
Speaker 2Everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher . So a lot of us want to be like Jesus . A lot of us want to be like our mentors , the people that we follow on Podcasts or you know , they're our pastors . Well , whoever our leader is or the trainer or teacher is , but we will not be like them If we're not fully trained .
Speaker 1Yeah , that's really good . You know what I see in this . I see the importance of a contemporary model .
Speaker 2Yes , and so it's .
Speaker 1And I also see the permission Scripturally , because there's some people that are so religious that like , well , I'm just not gonna follow a man . Well , you don't understand the order of God and the order of God from Genesis . The revelation is that he will raise up men or women to lead other men and women to the next level of life . And we see with Noah and his family , we see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob . We see it with my God , every single person throughout the Bible Jesus and the disciples , paul and Timothy , joshua and Aaron I mean Joshua and Moses . We see this succession , so to say , yeah , we see this mentorship . And so here's the biblical principle that I'm gonna follow you as long as you follow Christ . And it's okay to have a contemporary model , matter of fact , it's needed . It's much easier to get into business with someone who's already been successful and say teach me what you know .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's much easier to be a parent if you have someone who's had five kids and you have one kid . Say please teach me what you know .
Speaker 1Yeah okay , here's a word for you . It's much easier to find somebody who's been married for 25 years and say please tell me everything to do and not to do , and you've only been married for five months . Yeah , it's okay for you to have a contemporary model , matter of fact , I believe the scripture suggests that we should , that the student is never greater than the teacher . But the student who is fully trained shall be like his contemporary model .
Speaker 1So good and so you know I love David in the Bible and I love Abraham and I love Daniel . I Love Esther . Man , one night with the King , come on somebody . I love Ruth and Naomi . I love the stories and the characters in the Bible . With David I love I learned a lot about how to have a heart after God's heart and how to , even if you mess up , repent , get it Right .
Speaker 1I love , I love , I love Joseph how he was thrown into the pit , thrown in the prison , but still arose the second and control of Egypt . There was something about the integrity of Joseph that I really admire . I really loved Daniel , how he's thrown into the lion's den , and I can just imagine him being thrown into this dens and laughing at the lion because you knew that it was more Worth him than against him . And he closed the mouth of the lion's den by the power of God . And so I love all of these Bible characters and I love the word of God .
Speaker 1But the truth is is that I don't know them like . I can't call them , I can't tune into their podcast right now , I can't . I can't touch them , I can't email them , I can't . They can't pray for me , and I'm gonna thank God for them when I get to heaven . But I'm so thankful for a contemporary model . Yeah , I'm so thankful for my pastor . I'm so thankful for some of my overseers , I'm so thankful for the people who have come generations before I'm talking all the way through Smith Wigglesworth and Catherine Coleman .
Speaker 1I'm talking about Amy simple McPherson . I'm talking about dr KC price . I'm talking about dr Mike Freeman , my pastor . I'm talking about mentors , overseers , kc treat , randy Bissette . I'm so , I'm so thankful . Yes mentors and people I mean I'm talking about . I can go through the list of people that just they tore down Some , some trees so that we could stand on the stones .
Speaker 1Absolutely they prayed for the city that we're in long before our church got here , and people are like man , your church is just blowing up . It's because people have been praying for generations . Before we were even born , there were people that were pioneering this land and praying for revival , and we just so happened to be in a season where we're harvesting the seed of prior generations that's been sown .
Speaker 2Yeah , I want to speak for , like the heart of the teacher , though you know . So I think I'm a teacher in many aspects , your teacher , many aspects . I'm a teacher , you know , with our children . We are teaching our children . A teacher , you know we prepare the way I mean we lead a church and organization , different things . So , as that leader , as that teacher , we have foresight , we have insight , we have oversight . We are going and preparing away , like with our children , we are preparing away that the things that I'm facing today , I am overcoming so that when you go you will not have to face the same battles that I face . You will have your own battles , but this battle is already one right .
Speaker 2And so I think , even as pastors and leaders , it is the heart of the teacher that we are preparing these ways , and it just feels good for the student to go out . And you see the student succeed , right . You see the student become greater . Like Jesus said , greater works than these .
Speaker 1Come on , you shall do yeah and I think so .
Speaker 2It's just Understanding when you're looking to be trained . It's not , you know , for me . I think of it from the heart , as a trainer that like , oh wow , the trainer has a love for me . Yeah , the trainer is in some ways laying down their life for me . The trainer is sacrificing for me so that I can be better , and so it makes me just a willing student , like , give me what you got , I'm ready .
Speaker 1Wow , man , that makes me so Just in love with those who've helped me along the way .
Speaker 1Absolutely
. I think when I first got filled with the Holy Spirit back in 2001 , there was a spiritual arrogance that many of us have to overcome . When you first have a zeal for God , it's a zeal without knowledge , and I remember feeling a little bit resentment or just a little way , because I remember going to church is and nobody taught me about the Holy Spirit . They didn't teach me about the gifts of the Spirit , about tongues or the interpretation of tongues or casting out devils . They didn't teach me eschatology or Bible prophecy , and after God brought me to a place where I began to understand deeper things of God .
Speaker 1I was like man , what in the world ? I've been going to church all these years and nobody , even you know , and it was this prodfulness that was like oh see , it's because they don't know this and they don't know that . But now that I've grown beyond that , I'm so thankful of the people that helped me in my journey along the way , because what I've realized is that people can only give you the best of what they know , what they have .
Speaker 2They gave you what they have . They gave me the best of what they have . You're privileged and blessed to have more than what they had . They laid the foundation .
Speaker 1They laid the foundation so that I could go further and that's actually that's like if you're kids , like if our kids look at us and say , well , my mom and dad didn't do this and they wasn't around . You know , my friends , they had a kid's night and they invited kids over and we didn't do this . But look at all of the things that we did do for you . Look at all of the things , and what that is is that you don't understand that the reason that you're able to go further is because the foundation of what was laid . So now I look back at my Sunday school and vacation Bible school of a little churches that I was a part of and I say thank God for every person that taught me about Moses' part in the Red Sea and they gave me a Bible foundation and they prayed for me .
Speaker 1Thank God for the church that I got baptized in and I found Jesus in . Thank God for the churches that maybe they didn't know what I know now , but they were still there for me and they still prayed for me . Thank God for my pastors and mentors , every person that has sang a song that led me into the presence of God , and every person that prayed for me at the altar when I came down . Every person that prayed for me in business when I was in business before I was in ministry . I don't take anybody for granted , because the student is never greater than the teacher .
Speaker 1Absolutely but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher , and I just don't understand the people who are a part of a church . They get saved at the church , baptized at the church . They , you know , minister to your children at the church , get marriage counseling at the church and five years leave the church and talk negatively about the people . That means that you don't have honor . You don't really understand because , those people helped you .
Speaker 1They wasn't perfect . They might not have understood everything , you might have got offended about something , but don't you dare put your mouth on the people that helped you along the way , because the student is never greater than the teacher .
Speaker 2I think that I just say this very quickly , but it breaks my heart when I hear so many people who are they're Christians , but they , you know , call out or talk badly about other pastors , leaders or anyone else in ministry and I mean , yeah , maybe they're wrong , Maybe they cheated on their spouse , Maybe they did horrific things , I don't know . But I think that , you know , sometimes we can look so , talk so badly and negatively about people , make negatively about other believers . When we just forget the gospel , we forget to be believers . And number one we don't know if it's true or not , but number two here's the perspective that I take . Okay , when we read the Bible , some of our heroes of faith let's take David , for example . David had the heart of God . David is the one who slayed Goliath , but David is the one who slept with Bathsheba . David is the one who had her husband murdered . David did some trifling things .
Speaker 1We will cancel David in today's course .
Speaker 2I mean just take out everything , Just erase David from the Bible , everything that he did , erase King David and all of his life Erase it off .
Speaker 1We will make a website about David .
Speaker 2What about Solomon ? King Solomon , the wisest man , the richest man , the one who said God said , ask me anything and I'll do it for you . Samson would definitely be a false prophet when we make a whole YouTube page about him . Oh , Samson , crazy , crazy . So there's a lot of things .
Speaker 1Everybody in the Bible we probably have a . They're a false prophet . They're so forth from song and page .
Speaker 2Other than Jesus . Other than Jesus . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1No no , no , no . They would definitely make a false prophet page about Jesus . Oh , oh yeah , the blasphemy . Oh my God , what he did on the Sabbath .
Speaker 2Jesus ate with sinners .
Speaker 1Oh , my God .
Speaker 2Why are these people not washing their hands before they eat ? What are you doing ? So I just wanna point out I'm not saying that you know people are . I'm not pleading the case on either side , but I'm saying , as a believer , let he who is without sin cast the first stone . I mean , let's pray for the . If you hear , like when I hear that something's going on about somebody , it breaks my heart , I do not repeat it and I go in the prayer .
Speaker 2I'm like God . You know God . Help them . I pray in the spirit . Let me say it again .
Speaker 1I do not repeat it and I go in the prayer . Cause me repeating it to somebody else . Like there's this whole movement that was , we ate off of her for 25 years this church made songs and they did things around the world and they went through a really tough season and there's documentaries put out about them . I haven't watched one documentary why ? Cause it ain't gonna edify my spirit . It ain't gonna help me none . You said well , you just don't know , I don't need to be able to know about people's sin .
Speaker 2It doesn't negate how God used them . The fact that David slept with Bathsheba doesn't negate the fact that he slayed the giant .
Speaker 1I ain't got time for flesh and carnality in my life . I ain't got time . The Bible says that love Kurt covers a multitude of sin . I realized that people would rather judge and call out things , because they take a portion of the Bible but miss the spirit of the Bible , but the spirit of Jesus . If you look at the ministry of Jesus , he ate with sinners , he loved the unlovely , he rejected those who were religious and pharaceutical , and so I just don't listen . I live a very holy life and you know I do .
Speaker 2I live a very holy life .
Speaker 1And I don't want people to bring a black eye to the body of Christ , and I as well believe that . Okay , you messed up , you need to sit down . But I want to sit you down to restore you , forgive you and let you be used by God again , like everybody else in the Bible that we respect , because we don't know , I mean we could go on and on with this , but I think it's that we've cut our teeth in honor .
Speaker 1We cut our teeth when we love the Lord and we love the church , as messy as it is sometimes , we still understand how God uses people , the people that he uses , and then he uses us . Thank God for his grace .
And so I guess what I was saying is that it's okay that we have a contemporary model , as long as they follow Jesus . Now , if they start following Jesus , you start following them . But we need a contemporary model in our business life , we need a contemporary model in our spiritual lives and we need a contemporary model in our marriage . And so Luke , chapter six , first 40 , says but everyone who's fully trained will be like their teacher . Everybody say fully trained , fully trained , fully trained . I think if we said , instead of calling it being trained , we said we wanna be your coaches , that's more sexy today .
Speaker 2And that's okay , that's like okay , I have a life coach .
Speaker 1Yeah , I got an emotional coach . They have to move my emotional health and I have a . I got a finance coach and I got a fitness coach and I got a coach . I got a coach . I got a coach because that's sexier , because when we think of coaches , we define them as someone who's just gonna inspire us , someone that's just gonna encourage me and they're gonna help me reach my goal . And he reached my goals . But honestly , I don't know what kind of coaches you guys had .
Speaker 1Right , but the kind of coaches that I had back in the day .
Speaker 1If you were ever a part of a team ? Yeah , you had coaches that you couldn't even stand almost , and those are the ones that made you win the championship . I had a coach back in the day . I couldn't stand this man , I mean . But listen , we were winning state championships and he was bringing the best out of his team . Because there is a training part of real coaching . It's not just the cheerleader , it's just a raw , raw man . A real coach is gonna push you . Come on , drop and give me 20 more .
Speaker 1Okay , run another suicide . Okay , run another ladder . Okay , you were late . You're not playing in the game . There's a training element with great coaching .
Speaker 2Because they're trying to get the best out of you , and I just want to challenge you at this time , like in your marriage and even other parts of your life . If you're not being challenged , look at your coaches . Maybe you need to switch teams or switch coaches . I remember our daughter when she was in middle school . She was running on a track team and the school was kind of new and they just put this track team together . But our daughter had been to the junior Olympics twice . She gets on this track team and they suck , suck . Okay , s-u-c-k .
Speaker 1Oh , God help us .
Speaker 2Exclamation mark . Okay , so anyway , and it was in the coaches philosophy was like oh well , we're just gonna get out there . We're not trying to win , we just want to participate . And the kids hated it . I mean they were running and doing all this work and I mean losing badly , I mean , and in our daughter and we're sitting there like what are we doing here ?
Speaker 1This is a waste of time . Because they want to give like participation . Yeah , and it was doing the opposite .
Speaker 2It was just like she didn't run the next year because she didn't want to be a part of something that wasn't moving , that , something that wasn't winning , something that wasn't challenging her . And I think that if you were a part of a team like that , where you just like on your job , you feel like you might need to change your coach . If , in your spiritual life , you just feel like , oh , I'm just kind of nobody's challenging you , you're not being trained , a coach will squeeze the juice out of you . A coach will make you your best . So that's my challenge to you today .
Speaker 1And now I want to piggyback on this just prophetically , because some of you guys are going to churches and you're looking for candy , and if you just keep receiving candy after candy after candy , you're gonna rot your teeth out and you're gonna die of bad health .
Speaker 1And I thank God for inspiration because we don't want to beat you up . We don't want to have the church where everybody's going to hell and is firing brimstone all the time . But every once in a while you need some fear of the Lord . That's right . You do need some meat . You don't just need candy . You need like a healthy meal , you need like a balanced course meal .
Speaker 2You need some Eat your grains , Come on somebody .
Speaker 1You need some training and I think sometimes when you pick a church , we pick churches that agree with everything that we are and that's why we never go nowhere . We pick atmospheres that make us okay in our sin and it's okay in our comfort zone . But that's not what a pastor does , that's not what a ministry gift does , that's not what a coach does , that's not what a trainer does . We are supposed to move you beyond limits . That's been self-imposed .
Speaker 1For example , years ago I had a personal trainer that came to my house and he used to play football for the University of Florida Gators . He had come to my house and he would put me through all these . I'm doing burpees , I'm doing hip , I'm doing all this stuff . I'm jumping up , I'm getting down , I'm carrying sandbags and all this stuff . He got ladders . I'm jumping through the ladders like I'm a D1 football player and I come to the place . I'd be so out of breath , I mean like heartbeat , and I'd be breathing like this , and I would put some little sauce on it so he could know to leave me alone Like I need to make sure that I'm doing the most , so that he knows that I can't do no more .
Speaker 1And do you know what this man would say to me ? Give me three more . You know what he would say to me I'm like , I'm there and I'm acting like I'm dying . He would say give me 10 more seconds .
Speaker 2You know , that's where Kenny gets it from our son Anyway .
Speaker 1But what was he doing ? He was pushing me beyond my self-imposed limits . He was pushing me beyond my comfort zone . He was creating .
Speaker 1He was breaking my glass ceiling and he was creating a new norm for me . If you continue to put yourself in atmospheres , will people tolerate where you currently are ? You will never go to the level that God has called you to be in Until you submit yourself to training and say train me . I need people to coach me hard , like I want to raise thousands of people around us that are like coach , coach me hard . Drop and give me what you need me to do . You need me to run again . As long as I'm more like Jesus , as long as I'm carrying greater glory , as long as when I pray , I'm getting answers , I need you to get me beyond my self-imposed limits .
Speaker 2It's continual , you know , because God takes us from one level of glory to the next level of glory , and so a coach will take you . It will make your ceiling your floor , it will take you past what used to be your cap and your lid is now the thing that you walk on .
Speaker 1And all you got to do is be humble . You know , I know a lot of people that I want to know coach . Well then , go ahead and be what you want to be then , but I'll tell you what the Bible says 2 Corinthians , 1 Timothy , 4 , 8 . Let's start there . It says physical training is good , but training for Godliness is better , promising benefits in this life and in the life to come . It says physical training is good , but training like this is , in the Bible , training for Godliness is better .
Speaker 2Wow , Anything sticks out . Just that you know that physical training is good , Like we should get our workout yeah we should exercise , but spiritual training is needed . It's necessary , it's actually a thing to be spiritually trained .
Speaker 1So , actually , first , what is given as first , timothy is given as priority , because some people say , well , I just don't need to work out , like you , like 700 pounds and you love Jesus , but come on , you got to take care of your temple .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Take care of this earthen tabernacle . If not , you're going to be so spiritual but no earthly good . So it's saying physical training is good but training for Godliness is better . So it's putting the priority . And so in the beginning of the year we see so many jenichreic commercials and plenty of fitness commercials and people got goals . You know I'm going to have this , I'm going to have a nine pack , I'm going to get myself in shape , and I'm talking about they make so many social media pages on their physical health , but do you hear from God ? Do you have a prayer life ? Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1Do you understand what it means to love ? The unlovely , and so don't stop getting your non-pack . Go to Planet Fitness all you want , but make sure that you understand your Bible Absolutely and you can hear the still small voice of God . Second , timothy 3 , 16 , it says all scriptures . God breathed and it's useful for teaching , rebuking , correcting and training in righteousness . What sticks out to you with that one ?
Speaker 2Of course , the training and righteousness .
Speaker 1Yeah , training , training , training .
Speaker 2But you know , as a student , I'm always aware of who I'm listening to and who I'm being trained by that . They are using the scripture , that it is scriptural .
Speaker 1Right . And as long as it's scriptural , let's go so the Bible is not just a book of inspiration and encouragement . It has that element to it . Yeah , but these are the four things that the Bible says that it does . The scripture is God-breathed and it's useful for teaching , rebuking , correcting and also training and if we were honest , most people don't go to church or listen to a podcast to be taught , rebuked , corrected or trained .
Speaker 2Like , oh yeah , I tuned in today , so that you could rebuked me .
Speaker 1I tuned in today for me to be corrected . No , probably not . You want it to be encouraged , and we're an encouraging couple . Hopefully we are , but sometimes we need to sign up for some training , because that's what the word of God comes to do .
Speaker 1Ephesians 4 and 11 talks about the ministry gifts , and it says that he's given us these ministry gifts prophets , evangelists , pastors , teachers , apophos to equip his people for works of service , so that the body of Christ could be built up until we reach the unity of the faith and knowledge of the Son of God , and the word equip is what I want to highlight on , because equip has a training element with it , and so , as pastors , our job is to equip God's people to work for Jesus , not just to work for yourself or work for money , or work for a beach home , work for a beach home but actually to use your talents to build a kingdom that is bigger than yourself . Our job is to equip , equip , and there's a training element that comes with equipping , and I think it's just important for us to know those things so that we can embrace it , because sometimes if someone tries to train us , we'll run from that , because who are you to tell me anything ?
Speaker 1And well , we're spiritual coach that's our assignment is to train and also to be trained , and we need to be fully trained , and so I want to give four keys to embracing training as we end today . Number one if you want to embrace training , you got to identify the trainers . Okay and so , for those of you all who are in our podcast land , you got to identify your trainers , someone that you choose to follow as they follow Christ , someone that you will allow to speak into the blind spots that are in your life , somebody that you will allow to be accountable to Absolutely Accountability is not your mentor chasing you down , trying to say are you coming to church today ? Nobody has time for that . Accountability is you making yourself accountable . You know you making yourself accountable by your own decision
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Speaker 1You know , when I was coming up before I was a pastor , my lead pastor was my number one person that was speaking to my life . There was an assistant pastor that I could ask . There was an elder on staff that I had more access to him because my pastor had thousands of people so I would receive from him . In a setting like Bible study and son , I could really get hold of his anointing and spirit . But if I had questions I could go to the assistant pastor , go to the elder and then I had a marriage , a couple that I went to and say , hey , can you help our marriage ?
Speaker 1You know , if we have questions , can you help ? We wasn't a needy couple , but we did identify the trainers .
Speaker 2Okay , I think it was important to identify the trainers because when we did need you know it's , it's . It wasn't like . We were like , oh my gosh , we're in trouble , we're in a mess and I wish I had somebody to go to . On this note , we are all . We know that there will be a point where we need someone . Let's set that up now .
Speaker 1Yeah , so everybody , you need a dream team . You don't need everybody speaking into your life , but you do need four or five people three , four or five people that you can say those are going to be my go-tos . And this is what I look for in a train trainer I look for fruitfulness and faithfulness . And I'm going to say it again I look for fruitfulness and I also look for faithfulness , because a lot of people they have fruitfulness for a year or two , but not in 20 or 25 years . So I'm looking for faithfulness , and I'm not just looking for faithfulness , I'm actually because everybody has an opinion I want to say do you have some fruit in your marriage ? Do you have some fruit in your life ? Okay ? Number two four keys to embracing training . You got to submit to training , okay ? And I always teach us about submission , and this applies to marriages and every relationship .
Speaker 1So when you work for an employer , there has to be submission . If you are a part of a team , you're not the head coach , you're a player . There needs to be submission . If you're in a military , you need to be submitted to the sergeant , to the generals , et cetera , et cetera . Submission is not a position of slavery , and that's how many people hear I don't know if I can submit . Oh , you got . You need to submit because the Bible talks a lot about our ability to submit . But here's the thing about submission that it takes two equals to submit . That if the Bible tells you to submit to me , it's only because we're equal and by your maturity you decide to bow the knee as unto the Lord , and then the flow of the Lord happens .
Speaker 1If the Bible tells me to submit to you . We submit one to another . It's because we're in a position of equality , and so it takes actually my maturity to say , okay , no , I'm going to submit to your , to what you think about that . You know what I'm saying , and so submission is not weakness , it's actually strength , and we have to decide that I am going to allow this person to train me .
Speaker 2I love it .
Speaker 1Number three you got to stick with training , even when it gets hard . Come on , somebody comment on that , because too many people , as soon as it gets hard , they quit . And you're going to have to quit on quitting upfront because the greater the call , the more training that you have to endure . You know what I'm saying . Like Olympians , like I work out , but I don't work out like an Olympian because I'm not run . I'm not that good . So if I was that good , I need more training to be that good .
Speaker 1And so what many people do is they ? They quit as soon as it gets hard , okay , and so that's just when it starts getting good .
Speaker 2That's when it gets good , that's when the book that you want to write , that's when it gets made , when it starts getting hard yes , yes , trainers are supposed to push you beyond that .
Speaker 1And number four , this is my last one . You got to get rid of the pride and I know that I'm I'm not the smartest person in the world , but I'm smart enough to know that I need other people speaking into my life . I know I need help . Okay , I mean you
. We were having a conversation it was just a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about different denominations and what we've learned just over our 20 year plus of ministry is that , if you look at the history of the church at large , god has used different denominations in powerful ways , in specific focuses in certain seasons .
Speaker 1Like there are certain denominations , they baptize people like nobody's business . There are certain denominations , man , they know how to do a Sunday school . There are some denominations , man , they see so many people get healed . They believe from miracles and signs and gold dust and gold teeth . You know there's certain denominations that , man , they know how to cast the devil out of people . I mean people get delivered every single Sunday .
Speaker 1But unfortunately , what we have in the body is that we will look at someone who doesn't know what we do well , and we will judge them and say , well , we know how to water baptize people .
Speaker 1And look at you , guys , you're not water baptizing people . And look at us we're so great because we know how to heal and I got gold teeth in my mouth and everybody else there beneath me and what we start to do is , whenever you compare , you be little . And so , instead of learning from different denominations , we start to put our nose down and we do this , we versus them . And so because we're so good at this God has anointed us in this we say we're great in everything and it prohibit us from learning the places that we're weak in , when we should actually do the opposite . When I see somebody who's good at Sunday school , go learn from them about Sunday school . When I see somebody who's good at healing , find out how to have healing rooms . When I see somebody who has signs and wonders , study signs and wonders , and that way the whole body is getting better . When we learn from one another instead of compete and judge towards one another .
Speaker 2It's all pride . God created the church and he created humans , the body , to need each other . Notice , not one person besides Jesus . He was the answer . Jesus was God made flesh . He had it all . Everyone else , we don't have it all . Where I'm weak , you're strong . When you're strong , I'm weak .
Speaker 1Listen there are pastors right now that don't do marriage ministry well that should call us and just say pastor can give us everything that you guys have on marriage ministry and we're going to put that in our church . That's just not our strong suit . And then there's other people that we have to call and say how in the world ?
Speaker 2are you ?
Speaker 1doing that . Please teach us what you know , but you know what prohibits us from doing that ? Pride . It's the spirit of pride , and because of pride , we have us versus you , my denomination , and how great we are at this , not realizing that we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses and we all should be learning from one another . Wow , I think a lot of people should come in for marriage counseling , but they're too prideful .
Speaker 1I don't wanna put my business in the streets . Well , counseling ain't the streets and your church ain't the street . You mean that you too pride prideful to let somebody speak into it .
Speaker 1That's really what the problem is . You know , I think that there's a lot of married people , wives who are prideful towards their husbands , husbands that are prideful I'm not submitting to anything , I fight about everything and it's all the spirit of pride . And if you don't renounce pride , that pride will actually bring you low . And so here's the word of the Lord we all need training , specifically in your marriage . We want the training is for the reigning and we want you to reign . All right , well , we're out of time for today .
Speaker 1Guys , we hope that you enjoyed today's podcast . Man , we pray all the time . God just send people , let them connect with us around the world , and so we don't believe that you're here by an accident . We believe that this was a divine connection of the Lord today . If you really enjoyed today , please make sure that you share this episode with somebody else , because there's a ton of people that are in need of some training . All right ? Also , if you're new to our podcast , if you're on YouTube , make sure that you hit the subscribe button so that you can be the first to get the content as it's released .
Speaker 1We release a new episode every Thursday at 3 pm Eastern Standard Time , and we would like you I mean just waiting like crispy cream donuts when the light goes on , just waiting for it to come out at 3 pm , and we want you to get it hot and fresh off the press . We got two great things that are happening soon that we would love to tell you about . Number one is our Better Marriage Boot Camp . How you feel about the boot camps , sweetheart ?
Speaker 2I feel good about it yeah .
Speaker 1We take 24 years of marriage ups and downs and we've set up a Better Marriage Boot Camp . We wanna invest in your marriage , but you have to be willing to invest in your marriage as well , but in the work .
Speaker 1Even if your spouse is unwilling to go through with you , some of you all wanna go through by yourself , in faith , believing that next time they'll go through with you as you figure out how to get your marriage better . If you want more information about that , go to KenandTapathacom . Of course , you can find the link in our show notes as well
. And secondly , tapatha and I this year are celebrating 25 years . I cannot believe , sweetheart , that it's been 25 years . Time flies when you're having fun , and so there's a lot that we've been through . She's celebrating three years of being cancer free as well , and so we're gonna do a vow renewal . We're throwing a party y'all Only 250 seats . I don't even know if tickets are still available , but please , if you wanna come and just party with us , this will be a great date night for you and all of the proceeds from this goes to helping cancer patients and other people trying to overcome cancer as well .
Speaker 1For more information about the 25 year anniversary gala coming up on July . The third please go to our website , ken and Tapathacom , or check out the show notes below . All right , we love you guys . Man , we got a good one coming for you next week . Make sure you tell somebody else , we'll see you then . God bless you guys , and remember this that when you get better , the marriage gets better . Peace .