Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . Come on somebody . I hope you are ready for today . Are you ready today , Are you ?
Speaker 2ready , so we are ready , we are back .
Speaker 1We're ready for another episode . We are ready to go . Y'all welcome to another episode of doing life with Ken and .
Speaker 2Tabitha .
Speaker 1That's right , y'all , we're here , we're back , we love you , guys , and we got some good stuff for you today . Today , we're going to talk to you about how to have a heart of the house , and I believe that this is going to increase your anointing , your connection and flow . It's going to transform your life . But before we get there , sweetheart , Come on , welcome everyone .
Speaker 2If you're new to our podcast , we love you , we're praying for you . We always ask for the Lord to send people to this podcast so that we can be a blessing , and so we pray that you get something out of today .
Speaker 1Yeah , we always say God , send people to our podcast that we can help grow closer to you and closer to the people that you've placed in their life .
Speaker 1For those of you all who are new , our podcast is first and foremost a marriage podcast , a relationship podcast , but it's really for everybody . It's also a personal growth podcast , because when you get better , your relationships will actually get better . And so pumped to have you guys with us today . If you're ever in the Florida area , come worship with us at Alive Church . You can visit us online , but you can also come to Orlando , tampa or Gainesville , florida . We have campuses in those three cities , and so today's topic is heart of the house . All right . Subtopic is 10 keys to real connection and transformation .
Speaker 2Ooh , I like that Real connection and transformation .
Speaker 1There's too many people that are coming to churches but they're not connected and because they're not really connected , they are not partaking of the oil or the anointing that God has assigned to transform their life , and I feel like this is huge . This is huge for us and our growth as believers . Why do you think that this is so important for people to grab hold of ?
Speaker 2I think that there's a definite connection and benefit to the local church , to being planted , being rooted in the local church . I think there's benefit to it , there's community , there's safety in the multitude of counselors . There's those relationships , those iron sharpens iron relationships , those Paul Timothy relationships , those Elijah Elisha relationships , and so I think it's everything Okay .
Speaker 1So let's start here .
Speaker 2The devil is a liar .
Speaker 1And that's one of his strategies is to lie to mankind . And so , when it comes to spiritual leadership , or let's just call it divine connections , he wants to say every lie in the book to get you disconnected from community , to get you disconnected from other anointed people . Because I believe that he understands that the anointing starts on the head , but it goes all the way down to the uttermost parts of the garment .
Speaker 1That means that the anointing on Jesus , who is the head of the church , comes on down to the local heads , which is local pastors going down to the rest of the congregation . And I learned this years ago the banana that leaves the bunch is the banana that gets eaten . God's people , listen to me . You've been created for a community , even if you're an introvert . You say , well , I'm just a quiet person , I'm an introvert . Introverts and extroverts you need other people in your life . Christianity is a communal faith all through the scripture .
Speaker 1Genesis is a revelation . We are not supposed to be isolated . It is not safe to be alone , but there are divine connections that God gives us for us to be able to have certain things imparted into our spirits so we can be everything he's called us to be we know this so very well .
Speaker 1I got saved , oh my God , back in probably 1989 , but I lived as a Christian atheist for over 10 years of my life . I define that as a person who believes in God but lives like he doesn't exist . I recommitted my life to Jesus and got filled with the Holy Spirit back in 2001 .
Speaker 1This is about 23 years ago . Thankfully , the first thing that God did is that he connected me with a good church not a perfect church , because there's no such thing as a perfect church , but a church that had an example that I could follow . Now , contrary to popular belief , we need examples today . You're either going to follow your rappers and your actors and your actresses and your car manufacturers and your famous people , or you're going to follow people as they follow Christ . We're going to follow somebody . You are being influenced by some kind of culture , just let it be the culture of the kingdom . So for me , um , as a young man at 23 years old , I needed an example , and I'm going to just share this scripture right off top , sweetheart , that transformed me or helped me stay on the saddle .
Speaker 1It was Hebrews 6 , 12, . I think you have to look it up , but it says follow them that , through faith and patience , have inherited the promises . Tell me what that means to your life . Follow them actually comes from a word that means imitate them that , through faith and patience , have inherited the promises . This scripture has kept us safe and it helped us grow in Jesus without jumping around every time we got offended or with wind of doctrine . We was like able to understand where God had connected us . And still today these principles work . Can you just talk to that a little bit ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I think you know for me . Thank you For me . I yes , that example is was everything to us . Now , I grew up in a household where I didn't have an example of believers . I didn't have an example of a , you know , Christian man and woman , husband and wife . I didn't have an example . I didn't know how to be a mother , I didn't have to be a wife . I mean all of that . I had no examples .
Speaker 2But to come into a setting , a local church , where I saw pastors , where I saw leaders and other families live out and walk out the gospel , walk out through challenges , through overcoming situations , walk it out and be successful and be victorious and still be submitted to God and love God and live a lifestyle of holiness , that was everything for me . I looked at them and said , oh , that's how I want to be , Because we all have this image in our mind of who we want to be like and what we want to be like . And so being a part of that local community , that church , allowed me to be in a community that was safe and I could like say , oh , I want to be like that and follow them who , through faith and patience , have inherited the promises .
Speaker 1There's so much there . I know on our podcast a lot of time we talk about over correcting and I think that one extreme is that you make um , spiritual leaders , pastors and other people out to be like a god and it's like they can do no wrong and it's like you follow them to where , if they ever mess up , then you stop following christ because you place too much confidence in them . Yeah , then what people do is , if they ever get burnt in a church or have a situation with a pastor or leader that they don't like , they overcorrect and they come way over here and they say , well , all I need is Bible and Jesus and I don't do organized religion I don't do any of that , because you can't trust in man .
Speaker 1And man is just like me . I'm not taking my money down there because they have a new car every other month , and that is equally as demonic , so to say . When I say demonic , I'm not calling you the devil . What I'm saying is that it's equally outside of the will of God , both of those extremes .
Speaker 1So what we found is don't overcorrect , because the health is probably right about the middle , where we need leadership in our life . We need covering . Elishas need Elijahs , Timothy's need Paul's Disciples they needed Jesus . We all need that . The Bible says that we are to be under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the Father . We are supposed to have pastors . It comes from a Greek word , poimen . That means shepherds . So there are . They're supposed to be Jesus , the chief shepherd , but under shepherds that feed us knowledge and understanding .
Speaker 1This is the biblical way of healthy growth and healthy church , and in that , god has already taken into consideration that it's flawed man , human man , and there's a humanity side , so you put your faith in him more than in man . And so , right , here's the balance . And so we need leadership . But at the same time , we got to understand that there's going to be some leaders and churches that make mistakes , and when they do , you know what I'm going to do Find another church and keep worshiping Jesus .
Speaker 2That's right .
Speaker 1I'm going to find another church . Keep on tithing , keep on giving , keep doing stuff , because I wasn't doing it because of man . Anyway , I was doing it because I'm in love with God and his principles don't change .
Speaker 2Yeah , because in the end , I mean , we take the meat and we leave the bones , meaning that if I was under a leader who taught me a lot of good stuff they taught me the Bible . What they taught me was truth but now they messed up in their own personal walk with God and now they can no longer be my leader for however amount of time . I'm not going to throw out everything that they taught me . I'm not going to throw out everything that they taught me . I'm not going to throw out the word . That's true . What they said is true , but I'm going to either go to another church . I'm going to keep everything they taught me . I'm going to thank Jesus . I'm going to pray for them because they're a man . They just made a mistake .
Speaker 2I think about King David in the Bible and how the Bible says that David had the heart of God . But King David did some terrible things . That doesn't mean that he was evil . That doesn't mean that I throw out everything , all of the Psalms that he wrote . He's the same one that cut the head off of Goliath , but he's a man . He did dumb things and made dumb decisions , but I'm not going to stop believing my faith . You know , lose my faith and and and throw everything out of the door because of what David did . He was a King , but okay , I'm going to go . I need to find another pastor now , but that's all .
Speaker 1Right , you know , let me start off here . I would say if you are a person who's been a part of a church in a small group , or you've had a run-in with a pastor where you were treated in a really bad way and there was ungodly things done to you , let me just be the first to say I'm sorry . You did not deserve that . That was not what it should be . And the reason that church hurt so bad is because it's the one place that you think that you should be safe , and so the fact that you're not safe there actually is a bigger punch in the gut to make people want to run from it altogether , but don't let the devil take the whole thing away from you .
Speaker 1However , at the same time , I would say this there are a lot of people who are hurt right now and upset at the church as an organization because of just the misunderstanding , just something that they didn't like , a decision that was made . They went a different direction , their friend got offended . They carry somebody else's offense . I would . I would venture to say like , probably you know , there's a lot of stuff that hits the news media , documentaries that's been written about big churches , and there's always this thing about mega churches and pastors and what they doing , and there's such a negative tone . And let me just say this Um , I've been in ministry for 23 years and God has given me the awesome honor to preach in probably hundreds , if not thousands , of different churches in different cities , nations and on different continents .
Speaker 1I think I've preached on most continents .
Speaker 1There might be a couple I've missed on all my continents , praise God , but I think I've been to a lot of them . You know what I mean . There might be a couple I've missed . I don't know . All my continents , praise God , but I think I've been to a lot of them . You know what I mean . This is mine . 95% of the pastors that I have met love God , live holy , would do nothing to harm a fly , are some of the most trustworthy people that you would ever meet in your life . Have walked away from their careers and have neglected their family so to say , to take care of the family of God are some of the best people that you would ever come in contact would die for what they believe .
Speaker 1There's 5% of pastors that are jokers and I don't even know who they are . I'm telling you , sweetheart , listen . I've met hundreds , if not thousands , of people and the people that I've met now I don't think I know personally of one that is not authentic in their belief . Okay , I seen a couple on TV that I'm like oh , are they even a Christian ? Are they just trying to ? I don't know . I'm not sure about them , but I don't even know them . The people that I know personally , I'm talking about in the thousands I've seen , probably on account of one hand , maybe two hands of ones who's messed up in their marriage infidelity , something like that . I personally don't know anybody who's done other things , like deeper crimes and stuff like that . I guess what I'm saying .
Speaker 2Not that there's a measurement .
Speaker 1What I'm saying is that don't throw the baby out with the bathroom , right , right , you are allowing the media and social media to take 5% of the rotten apples and you making a judgment on the whole church . That's only going to hurt you . And I just feel like there's a tone . I hear a tone Like I just had a . I sat down with a group of young men and their tone that you could just tell from social media and their environment was like a tone of well preachers and money and Bentleys , and it was this tone and it wasn't a tone of reality .
Speaker 2It was the tone of what the media is saying about reality , something that you heard , something that you watched on whatever movie that you saw , and it's creating this perception .
Speaker 1Creating a perception . A perspective A perspective this really not is . I don't know that church . I personally don't know that church .
Speaker 2I personally don't know that church , I don't know that pastor . I don't know those people personally for me , and we know a lot of In our city , in the city of Orlando , and I apologize if that's been your reality , but I've been in this for a long , long time .
Speaker 1And I would just tell you from my experience , 95% of the people that I know are God-fearing , that love God with all of their heart , that are great stewards of finances to their ability . That would never hurt a flight .
Speaker 2The good news is , if you're in a situation that's bad , like you just described , and you know it , get out .
Speaker 1There are plenty of others good pastors , leaders , churches that are preaching the gospel of Jesus . Who will ? Minister , healing for your soul and your body , and that's why I just say you got to know what brook to drink from . I don't drink from the YouTube social media brook that is not the place I want to get fed through the house of God through somebody I can touch and look at in the pulpit or somebody that I can see the staff .
Speaker 1I can talk to the elders of the church , the pastors of the church . How are their governed reverends , bishops , whoever's the leadership ? I don't give a care about the title , I want to know who can I touch ? Can I see your family ? How are your kids living how ? How was this church being ran ? Okay , I'm going to put my faith that God's brought me to this place here and I'm not going to allow the media to cause me not to be able to have faith in the system that God's created . And I don't say that with any kind of malice or anything in my heart . I just really want to help people because that's not been our experience . Like I've never been part of a church split . I've never had a pastor in my life personally that has fallen into sin and fallen away .
Speaker 1I see it happening . That's just not .
Speaker 2I thank God that I haven't had that experience . I'm just so thankful for it . I'm so sorry about that .
Speaker 1But I would just say to you that there are some good apples out here . There are some people you know . There are some people out here that you know yeah , there are .
Speaker 2There's all kinds of good churches out there , but I think one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about the church is because you know Jesus gave , this is Jesus's gift to us . The church , you know , it is the bride of Christ . But then also , church is the community , a safe community for the believers . It's been designed and set up so that believers can come together and be family . We pray for one another . We , you know , we're there for one another .
Speaker 2You know , I was with the kids in the car the other day and we were talking about sheep and we were like , is it a ? Is sheep , is it a flock of sheep together or is it a herd of sheep together ? And like , for , I just went temporary , I knew it was a flock , but I just was like , huh , that doesn't make , that doesn't make sense . And we started debating why . So then we go on , we google it and we find out that it is indeed a flock . But we wanted to know why ? Because you think it would be a herd , right . But we found out that sheep are called a flock because they're like a nervous , insecure creature and if they're out by itself , the sheep is alone , it feels nervous and it actually gets anxiety . It needs to be a part of the flock and with other sheep and so when they come and flock together , because there's safety , there's warmth , there's protection in the flock .
Speaker 2And so Jesus said I am the good shepherd , and so he's the shepherd , we're the sheep . There's safety in the church . There's safety and protection and comfort and provision in the flock , and so , as a believer , we need to be a part of the flock .
Speaker 1So true , but I also know that there's no such thing as a perfect church , and I think sometimes , if you set your expectations , oh man . This church is great . It is , but it's imperfect . Meaning that there's going to be somebody that does something to you that you're going to have to overcome it with love . Isn't it just like Jesus to call us to a mess ? Discipleship is so messy . I'm discipling some people right now and I'm just like Lord , help me , I could do without all this drama .
Speaker 2You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1Because discipleship is messy , but isn't it like Jesus ?
Speaker 3to get into our mess , to get out of heaven and get into our mess .
Speaker 1And so the foundation of all of our faith is like look , I'm going to come to where you are , meet you where you are and take you to where you're destined to go .
Speaker 1And so there's no such thing as a perfect church , because God , it's almost like putting rocks in a rock tumbler . When you put rocks in a rock tumbler , you smooth out the edges , and so the church is God's rock tumbler for us , and he's using it to help us overcome offense . He's using it to help us love the unlovely . He's using it to help us grow , and so what a lot of people do is they get offended and they stumble .
Speaker 1They get hurt and then they go . And actually , if you can overcome offense and you can overcome hurt and you can overcome all of the feeling neglected , feeling underappreciated you will grow in anointing and be more like Jesus , and I think that's what this whole thing is really about I've got a few scriptures . Tell me what you think about this 1 Corinthians 12 , 18, . It says but now God said every member , each one of them in the body , just as he is pleased . Anything stick out to you from that ?
Speaker 2I think God is intentional with where he places us . It didn't say he just threw us there , we just go to whatever church you want to go to . God has set us in a place , so our responsibility is to find out where that place is . Find a place .
Speaker 1It's kind of like if you have a set tooth , you had a tooth and somebody they got to set it in the jawline . You don't want to be eating a burger and your teeth fall out you want to set that tooth . If you had a diamond , you want to set that diamond in the ring you don't want to just do your hand like that and the ring just fly out .
Speaker 1That's how it should be . When you find a church home , you shouldn't be easily moved . You need to be set , and he sets us in the body as it pleases him , not as it pleases us , because many times we will go to a place where it was all black people , all white people or the music was a certain thing or they had kids church or they had no .
Speaker 1If he set you in a church of 12 people , stay planted . If he set you in a church of 12,000 people , it's not about the style , it's not about the ethnicity . It's about the leading of the Holy Spirit . He knows what we need more than we know . What about this ? In Hebrews 10 , 25 , it says not forsaken the assembly of ourselves together , as is in the manner of some , but exhorting one another , and so much the more as you see the day approaching . What sticks out to you from that one .
Speaker 2I think it's just emphasizing again the importance of church the importance of coming together Right .
Speaker 1Well , this one says , in the manner of some so there's always going to be a group of people that's anti-church , we don't need it , we don't care about it . So , as you see the day approaching , so the longer we live , the day of Jesus's return is coming sooner and sooner , okay . And as we go towards that day , more and more people are going to fall away from the church . Don't let that be you , don't let that be common . Because he says don't forsake the assembly of yourselves together .
Speaker 1You need people , you need community , you need leadership , you need covering , you need to be a part of something that's bigger than yourself . So good , what about this one ? I got one more scripture . I want to talk about the spirit of the heart of the house man . First Corinthians 415 , it says for though you might have 10,000 instructors in Christ , you don't have many fathers . For in Christ Jesus , I've begotten you through the gospel . Oh , come on , paul . Wow , talk to me .
Speaker 2I think that just stuck out to me . Therefore , in Christ Jesus , I have begotten you in the gospel . I think about spiritual sons and daughters in that and that you know we have a spiritual mother and father , our pastors , and they've been our pastors for what ? Over 20 years now . Our pastors for what ? Over 20 years now ? And they taught us a whole lot of the Bible , you know as being not new believers but just kind of like young believers , and that's everything to me . Like I love that . I think that spiritual moms and dads are needed , necessary , should be celebrated like those relationships .
Speaker 1So I don't know . That's what sticks out to me . There's so much in this one . First off , Paul has the audacity to say that I've begotten you in the gospel . That word begotten means that I've given birth to you in the gospel .
Speaker 1So what it nods to is that you need senior leadership to give birth to your next level of ministry . Now , if you're out there and you're podcasting and you're writing and you're preaching and you're ministering , but you don't have somebody , that's a covering that's bringing you to higher levels of authority , it's gonna be a hard road for you . So Paul is saying I've given birth to you in the gospel , he also is emphasizing the fact that you have 10,000 instructors . 10,000 instructors 10,000 makes it seem common . Everybody has a podcast . Everybody has a book . Everybody has a church . Everybody has an opinion . Everybody I mean everybody got an opinion about the Bible .
Speaker 1Listen , you can go to the White House . There's an opinion about Jesus . You can go under a bridge and ask a wino what do you think about Jesus ? Everybody . He'll give you some scriptures . You know he can't live it out , but he'll give you some scriptures . You know he can't live it out , but he'll give you a bunch of scriptures and he's like that's common . You got 10,000 people with an opinion 10,000 instructors but you ain't got a lot of fathers .
Speaker 1What does that mean ? That when you find spiritual fathers and mothers , put a premium on them .
Speaker 1Be grateful for them lean into them and I just feel like today we have spiritual orphans , we got people who don't know where home is , and I think it's so important because , listen , I believe we're living in a day and time where God is turning the father , the heart of the father and mothers , back to the kids , but he also is turning the heart of the kids back to the fathers and mothers . Spiritual fathers and mothers has nothing to do with age . It has everything to do with the revelation . Now there is a part that , as a spiritual father , I have to play . There are some things that I need to do .
Speaker 1I need to be a nurturer , I need to be an encourager , I need to be tuned in , I need to have my eyes open , I need to be able to speak life and prophesy , and pray over people and preach a word and living out . I got a role to play , but I think what we don't talk about as much or maybe we don't talk about that , but the other part of it is this is that sons and daughters have just as much responsibility , if not more . I heard somebody say the other day and I don't know where I got this from , it was a podcast , I think and they said that when the mentee's ready , the mentor will appear .
Speaker 2That's good .
Speaker 1And a lot of people are like man I wish I had a spiritual father , I wish I had a mentor . Are you ready for one ?
Speaker 2Yeah , that's so true . You know , sometimes I'm in situations with people and I want to . I find myself in situations where maybe I'm in a waiting area or something and I don't have a lot of time or anything , but I just find myself in this situation where I'm Pastor Tabitha and I'm around maybe a group of younger women and they're saying all this stuff and talk , oh , pastor Tabitha , and I'm around , maybe a group of younger women and they're saying all this stuff and talk , oh , pastor Tabitha , and they just start in this conversation . And I feel myself sometimes I want to jump in the conversation and be like this happened to me recently . I want to jump in the conversation and I want to be like no , don't think about it like this , what about this ? Well , y'all saying stuff , but that doesn't . But that's not what the word says . Why do you think like that ? And I just wanted to give all of this information , but nobody was wanting to be the mentee , nobody wanted to say what do you think , pastor Tab ? But everybody was saying well , I think this and I think that .
Speaker 2And I didn't have permission from the Lord to jump into the conversation at that point because now I had to back down and I had wisdom that I could have . Just , I'm telling you I could have laid it out , but I had to stay there and just be like ha ha , ha , you know , and like you know , wow . But if they would have pulled on the pastor in me , pastor would have had permission to rise up and speak . What is you know ? You have to be wise . You can't feed your pearls to swine , anything like that . But we have to know when we're in the presence of someone who could help us , of a mentor , of anyone . So there is a responsibility there .
Speaker 1So much there . I think we live in a day and time where people have made their opinions an idol , and what that was was well , I think this and I think that .
Speaker 2Oh , it was a bunch of hogwash .
Speaker 1I was like baby girl who cares what you think ? Not that your opinion doesn't matter .
Speaker 2Not at all .
Speaker 1But if you don't have faithfulness and fruitfulness in your life , what you think is getting in the way of ? How you should think . And as a man think of it in his heart . So is he . So I learned these principles years ago that when you're in a room , first off you want to put yourself around people that are smarter than you , more experienced than you and more anointed than you .
Speaker 1And when you get in that room , shut up . When you get in that room , shut up and listen , because it's really not about what you think , because what you think is the reason that you are where you are , and if you want to go to the next level , you need to get people to think higher than what you think . And let them tell you how they think ?
Speaker 1so that you can think on a higher level to get higher results . But I think that we're so enamored with . I mean , I see now we didn't start our marriage podcast here until we were 23 , 24 years in marriage . I see people get married two months and they start a marriage podcast . I'm not . I'm not hating on you , Go for it , but you're talking a lot and you don't have experience yet . You know what I'm saying that's like okay .
Speaker 1So we live in a day and time where everybody has a podcast and a book and they're all be the preachers . But podcast and a book and they're all be the preachers but where's ? The students . Yeah , now , thankfully , in our generation , we were taught to be good followers , because what I've learned is that the best leaders are also first the best followers , and we have a leadership school . It's called the Alive Leadership Institute . What it should be called is AFI instead of ALI . Alive .
Speaker 1Follower Institute , because we have to teach people to be great followers , because the best followers are going to be , eventually , the best leaders .
Speaker 2Me and you we knew how to follow .
Speaker 1Still today I know how to follow . I actually enjoy behind the scenes .
Speaker 2Following is like the easiest thing to do .
Speaker 1I actually enjoy not being the man . I don't have to think about this .
Speaker 2What did you do ? Okay , let me do that .
Speaker 1I actually enjoy doing the little things that people do not see , I actually enjoy that . Call me crazy . I can see it in our oldest daughter . It's like ah , no camera , no , nothing . I actually enjoy being second chair . I actually enjoy not having the responsibility , not having a payroll . I actually enjoy that . And what people don't know about us ? Because now they see doing life of Kenneth Tabitha , they see they don't understand that we were great followers for years .
Speaker 1I'm talking about take care of the pastors . I'm talking about fixed breakfast . I'm talking about get coffee . I'm talking about leave my job , my business , go pick up people at the airport . The reason that I know people that are very well known today is I was a ride . I picked them up when I was holding a sign for people like hey , you're here for the concert , I'm here to pick you up . You know what I'm saying . We knew how to serve .
Speaker 1Our teeth were cut on that , and so I think there are so many people in this generation that want to be discovered more than developed , and I think we got to get out of the place of man . Did you see the post ? Did you see it ? Is it blowing up ? How's it doing ? Is the algorithm getting it ? Instead of being discovered , why don't you develop your character ? And I think we want a microwave-like process , but crockpot results , and instead of having a microwave , mentality and process if you want the crockpot .
Speaker 2you got to at the 830 service with 10 and 30 and a hundred other people and you're rubbing shoulders and you have to deal with different personalities and all of that . Now you're serving , now you're developing character .
Speaker 1I developed the fruit of the spirit . Really serving under a leader in ministry . That wasn't a very good leader . Yeah , didn't communicate very well but you had to submit , but I had to submit to bad leadership and the Lord would teach me how to honor the leadership but still communicate around the leadership to get stuff done and I remember being like this person is calling me in the middle of the workday .
Speaker 1I'm a business person , so they're asking me to do certain stuff , and I would go to elders . I I'm a business person , so they're asking me to do certain stuff and I will go to elders . I will go to people in the church what should I do about this ? And they would give me some advice . What was I doing ? I was learning to communicate . I was learning not to be offended , to talk to the leadership , but then also work around them , if I was learning to overcome offense . I remember one time it was so bad that I had to go to the ATM and I just got like a bunch of hundred dollar bills and I just went and I started sowing a seed . I blessed my leader , I blessed the people that I thought was talking about me .
Speaker 2That's why I love you , because you're crazy .
Speaker 1Because I got to overcome evil with good . What was the Lord teaching me ? He was teaching me not to get offended and get into dissension , but to overcome good with evil . You know what I'm saying , and to all of these principles . So it's not like we just arrived at being a pastor . No , we had our pastor's blessing because he saw the way that we served .
Speaker 1He saw us come up as sons and daughters in the house and there's too many people that are the wind instead of the sand . I don't know about you . You do not listen to me . Man and woman of God , get into ministry without spiritual covering because the devil will probably beat your brains out . I could not imagine trying to be out here preaching what we're preaching , and there's too many paraministries , podcasters , entertainers , songwriters , musicians , missionaries that God has called you to do something , but you don't have covering for your call and you need apostolic voices and thankfully , I've now , in my heart , accepted this apostolic role . I've accepted it .
Speaker 1And I now have pastors calling me and say , hey , can you be a pastor to me ? I feel that God's called me to be a pastor to pastors and pastors to kingdom builders and ministry gifts and so . But that's so important because leaders need leaders . That's right . You know , it doesn't matter how high I go , I always want pastoral covering over my life . I always want to be accountable . I always want to be submitted to someone who's a little bit further than where I am .
Speaker 1And I think that's so important . I mean , I could go on and on . This stuff is like locked up in my heart . I don't know , baby , anything else coming to your mind on that . We just want to help you , we really do . I want to get over to the heart of the house , you know , because this stuff is like this is what we've lived .
Speaker 1Yeah , we live this stuff , man , we live this stuff . I remember when my pastor first invited me over to his house . I mean I drove around the neighborhood Probably 30 minutes in advance , got there early Just to be on time . Yeah , there was no way I was going to be late . No , ain't , no way in the world .
Speaker 2We're not going to let traffic make us late my pastor invited me to his house .
Speaker 1If you got to work , call off . Work , baby . We're going to the pastor's house . There's a level of honor for that being a representative a gift that God's given me . I think we need that in this generation . I recall , man , it was just like you know , when it comes to having a spiritual father and a mother , I said , when the mentee is ready , the mentor will appear and I think that some people want to be a spiritual son and daughter , but you're want to mentor people . That's going to run with what I'm saying , like if you don't value my voice .
Speaker 1I'm going to invest in someone who will value you .
Speaker 1Not because you're worse than , but because I have finite time . My time is my most precious asset and because that second , I can never get that back this podcast I can never get that back . Instead of ministering to people online , I could be with my kids . I can never get that back . So I have to be a good steward of my time and there's some people that want you to mentor them and you , you , you , you , you it's too much work , like and I'm not saying this is right , but we were under a pastor before . We were pastor about seven years . Never dinner with the man , not a sit down lunch , not a dinner . All right .
Speaker 1He allowed me to serve , so I was over his house , we traveled together , stuff like that , but not a dinner where we talking about the Bible , chopping it up , anything like that , until we were about to release to start a church . Then we had a meal together . Now I'm not saying that that's right . Like me , I want to try to be as available as I can be .
Speaker 1I'm not saying what's right or what's wrong , but what I'm saying is that I was easy to lead , meaning that it's up to me , as a son or a daughter , to position myself , for you to be a father to me , and be , a spiritual mother to me and I'm not saying that because I got daddy issues . I got a great natural dad .
Speaker 1But , when I read the scripture I see a spiritual father as a principle . I see that in scripture we have not many fathers . What does that mean ? When Elijah was taken away , he's like my father , my father . What revelation is there ? Well , he got double the spirit with double the miracles , because he had a revelation on this father-son connection and it's not to take the place of our heavenly father , but there's something there in mentorship that I feel like we're leaving mantles , we're leaving stuff on the court .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think too . You know , if we think about you know our pastor and how we were with him , we were self-aware enough to know um our pastor and um his leadership and how . You know , he was traveling around and doing other things and had a staff full of pastors and things that he was ministering to , and we were younger pastors coming up .
Speaker 1Yeah , I wasn't need you know we weren't needy to where , like ?
Speaker 2I need to come to your house , I need to have dinner with you , I need to do all those things .
Speaker 1We can if you want to , but if you don't , I'm still going to get the word Exactly , and that's my point . Like it's , it's up to the spiritual son and daughter to identify the father more so than the father . I can't come and make you like . You can't go to those young ladies out in the hallway and say let me speak into your life . But if they was like hey , what do you think ? Hey , can you ? Oh , the door's now open for prophetic understanding , for 25 years of ministry and experience , for a perspective . That's because you look . You look like you're pretty . You got they don't know how deep your well is though .
Speaker 1You know , like I got a chain on . We got black on . You don't know how deep the well is though how much ? We've cut our teeth on , you know what . I'm saying I got a young man , he was , he was , he was picking out something , but I just don't hear a lot of teaching on this in the church and he was just so myself . I should bring them over to my library upstairs and pull out the book , because the stuff , the teaching that he won't . I read that book 20 years ago .
Speaker 1Right and I was like so what you want me to do is , every Sunday , you want me to preach this book , but I've actually done all these books , right ? These three 400 books that are right here . All of that is what I bring to the table , and you're stuck on one thing , right ? You just hang out for a little bit .
Speaker 2Yeah , stay around long enough . Just stay around long enough , that book will be spoken about Okay , just stay around long enough .
Speaker 1You just don't understand yet . But people don't understand that these are divine connections , and so , for me , once again , I only want to mentor people that bring a refreshing to me . Like , great mentorship is not me just sitting down . Okay , did you study Malachi ? Did you do what I told you last meeting ? Blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . My God , I want some people to come with questions , not questioning me and who I am , as a man of God or my . I'm talking about questions like man . You get 15 minutes with a person who has experience . Okay , five things you wish you would have done differently in your twenties . Okay , give me two things that you wish you wouldn't have done in your marriage .
Speaker 2Give me one thing that you really see in me prophetically , I'm coming with questions .
Speaker 1Sometimes I'm having staff meetings . I'm saying okay , guys , what's your questions ? Cricket , Cricket , Okay , well , let's just go right , go carts . Then Like oh , my God Like once again it goes back to the fact like so I got , there's a pastor that I want to meet with and I'm just trying to get on the schedule . But if he says yes , I'm going in with questions . I'm flying , I'm getting on a plane and I'm going . Okay , what do you think about this , this , that and other . He got 20 locations . You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1He got you know he reaching people . What do you think about this ? What do you think about this ? What do you think about this ?
Speaker 1And then , as I leave the meeting , I'm going to sow a seed because , I'm not going to not bring a gift to the man of God and I'm going to be like thank you so much for your time . Just know that I'm praying for you and I'm here to serve whatever you need . So even when people ask me to come in and preach , I don't come in and preach . What I think people need , I call the pastor in front I say hey this weekend and I want to make sure that . I don't say anything out of bounds .
Speaker 1That's not in the , in the flow of your house . How can I leave this place ? And you'd be glad like I want to give you like five times the value of the honorarium In between services .
Speaker 2in between services . How was that ? You know , did you ? Is there anything I need to change ? Correct .
Speaker 1Take out . You know , did I ? Did I sell a joke that didn't go over well here , so all of that comes from my serving background . But back to my point . We were a part of the ministry seven years , never had a sit down lunch , but I had the heart of the house . I had the spirit of the house because I positioned myself every Sunday . I think there's too many people in churches they get so busy with serving that they never sit , but then some people get so busy with sitting that they never serve .
Speaker 1You got to do both at the same time I would serve and sit to , where it's not just your doctrine and your theology , it's the spirit in which you minister .
Speaker 1I need to absorb the spirit of the house . We have the same spirit of faith . It's not just the doctrine of faith , it's not just teaching of faith , it's an anointing of faith . And how can we have the same ? Well , there has to be something on the head that's trickling down to the body . I want to have that same spirit of faith , that anointing of faith . When I look at Elisha doing double the miracles of Elisha , he had that double of his spirit . You know what I'm saying . That takes the son or the daughter , positioning yourself like a receptacle to receive the anointing that's in the house .
Speaker 2So good .
Speaker 1To receive what's being said . So for me , I would tell anybody who comes to our church , if you came from another church , you need to take the next two years , as soon as you join this church and get the heart of the house . How do you do that ? Go back and listen to the last three , four years of everything that we've preached . Every time we preach something on Sunday , listen to it two to three times in the same week , not just for what you thought you heard , because you ain't hear what you thought you heard , but the spirit or attitude behind what's being said I live that out , and so I'm seeing the double portion .
Speaker 2That's crazy . That sounds like a lot . It's fun , though . It sounds like a lot . Yeah , well , it has to do with humility .
Speaker 1It has to do with understanding kingdom order . This is a kingdom message . It has to do with there's mantles , that the last generation , that they almost fail because this generation is not picking them up . There are too many people walking in a single portion anointing instead of a double portion anointing because we don't understand how to honor the fathers that came before us , so I will not tear down the fathers that came before me .
Speaker 2We might , because you don't understand or you don't agree .
Speaker 1I will not tear down , yeah , I will not , because I now have a different angle and a different context in which I'm preaching in the information age . But those people had Oral Roberts , smith Wigglesworth , amy Simple McPherson , dr Miles Monroe , fred Price , kenneth Hagan . Come on , yeah , yeah , we lean into our current context and take the meat and we leave the bones , but I will not bash and be under a single anointing when I'm destined for the double portion . So I don't know . I just feel like people need to hear this . Please share this , guys . So I'm gonna give you 10 keys and we got to get out of here , man 10 keys to developing a heart for the house and whenever you ready to stop me , just hit me real quick , hit me real , but I'm going to get through these 10 keys to developing the heart of the house , a heart for spiritual leadership in your , in your life . I feel people are ready .
Speaker 1Number one gratitude . Everybody say gratitude . Okay , that means that you take absolutely nothing for granted . I believe that when it comes to who you're married to be great for them . When it comes to your small group leader , be great for them . You're on a staff at a church Listen , you don't have to have a job there , my God , be grateful that the fact that you got a job . You just got to look around and just be grateful .
Speaker 1When it comes to people that preach the word to you . Be grateful , be like man . That's a good word , thank you . It doesn't have to be the perfect message . They don't have to be , you know , because preachers we beat ourself up when up . Be grateful . Thank you so much . I know you labored , you got in the kitchen .
Speaker 1You fit me good today . Thank you for that . Number two is choose what voices you'll lean into and what voices you need to lean out of . Okay , what voices ? So , as a spiritual father , I should have weight in my spiritual sons and daughters life , you know . So if there are 10,000 instructors , 10,000 voices , but few fathers , the fathers should have more weight . That's the best way I can say it . I don't want to control you . I don't want to say , hey , you can't listen to any other voices . That's weird . But you need to know what voices you need to lean into and which ones you need to lean out of Number three understand that you're not here to change the vision , but support the vision .
Speaker 1This is huge .
Speaker 1You know , when I was younger- I had all kinds of ideas , especially when I first started a church . Oh , we going to do church like this . It's going to be different than everybody else's church . You are not that gifted . To be honest with you , I tell people nowadays like um , um , 90% of your ideas we can't use , don't have the budget , don't have the resources , or just we ain't called to do it . Matter of fact , I'm the lead pastor and they only use 10% of my ideas and I think they're great .
Speaker 1But what I've realized is , just because you have an idea doesn't mean that and there's people who just get . Well , I told them to do this and we could have done that . Okay , well , just be patient . You know what I'm saying . You're not here to change the vision , you're here to support the vision . That's a huge thing . The people who scare me the most are the people who say what church you go to ? Well , I go to this church how you like it . Well , it's okay . I just feel like God has me there because I need to do this and bring this . Oh , my God , here we go , lord , okay . Here's the weird boat , here it is here .
Speaker 1It is . You're there because you're God's gift to change that church . Number four you got to pray for your leadership daily If you want the heart of the house . You got to know your leaders by the spirit and not by the flesh , and I think that's huge .
Speaker 2When you spend time praying for them , you will definitely get to know their heart . Pray for them every day .
Speaker 1I mean war for them , not no little pity pat prayer . Father , in the name of Jesus , I declare no weapon formed against them shall prosper . I declare wisdom to lead his family and lead his wife in the congregation . I declare that everything he touched today is prosper . When he put his head on the pillow , you give him sweet sleep . What God does is he will download to you the heart of the house that way . Number five is set yourself to become a great follower . I think a lot , think a lot of people want to become great leaders , but I want you to set yourself to do Hebrews 6.12 . Follow them through faith and patience .
Speaker 1Be , a great follower . Number six coordinate your calendar with your church . So a church I don't know what church you go to , but for our church we're complex . Sundays , we hit a people group . Midweeks , bible study we hit a people group . Then we have revival nights . That has a different anointing . We have the alive leadership Institute , we have Pio , we have small groups . All of these things in our church bring a different level of revelation and edge to um . What our job is to do is to give people like a full workout here . So we're not just going to work your biceps and we're not going to work your legs . Now some of my people come in like well you just got to work my biceps .
Speaker 1My biceps are huge . You got these little bitty calves . Our church we want you to have like a full body workout . But what ?
Speaker 1happens is , if you don't coordinate your calendar , you're always out of town . And then you say , well , I just feel like I'm not growing . And then we said are you in a small group ? Well , nah . Did you make it to Pio ? Nah . Are you going to a live conference ? Nah , well , that's why , because you're too busy to get everything that God has for you in the house , you got to come to the place where the things that are on your church's calendar try your best to manage your life , with those things being important to you as well .
Speaker 1Number seven is help carry the load with them . I think you were just preaching about Aaron and Hur . Now , aaron and Hur lifted up the hands of Moses and when his hands was up , the nation would win . If he got tired , the whole nation would lose . And I feel like the best position that people can take in the church is that , when it comes to my spiritual leadership , I want to hold up their arms . I want to carry the load . God knows it's a heavy load . Number eight you got to be loud and proud Rep your church , meaning that if we go to your social media , we should see an invite to church every once in a while , not just dog food and sunsets and all that kind of stuff .
Speaker 1Every once in a while . You should have some merch on , like yo don't just rep your favorite basketball football team favorite school you rep in Tampa Bay Bucks or the Boston Celtics more than you do the place where you get the life transformation word of the living God . Oh , my God . Number nine get to know other leaders in the house . So some of us we go to churches where maybe you can't get with the head pastor .
Speaker 2Why .
Speaker 1Like I'm in a place it's harder to get with me because I've spent so much time investing in other leaders . It's the Jeffro principle .
Speaker 2It's harder to get with you , but there's no lack of leadership .
Speaker 1There's no lack of leadership in the house . We got small group leaders . The only lack we have is if a person is a respective person Like I , can only talk to him . Well , that's going to be hard because I'm talking to other lead pastors and campus pastors and I got a family of my own . It's not even that I don't want to meet . I love to meet with every single person . That's my heart . But then I would probably die early , and that's what Jeffro told Moses .
Speaker 2He's like look , what you're doing ain't good . You are not dying early . I want my husband around because I'm living a long life .
Speaker 1Yeah , you are girl Number 10 , and this is the last but not least , don't forget to give honor to where honor is due , and I think that there's a lot of people who want the heart of the house , but they don't know how to honor . And the scripture is clear . It says let the elders , who will well , be counted worthy of what Double honor Double .
Speaker 1It's the only place in scripture that says whatever you've been doing , dip it in double Wow . And I feel like God asks us to give double honor so we can have double manifestation , double breakthrough and double favor . And so how do you honor spiritual leaders ? Make what's important to them important to you , hey , allow them to challenge your blind spots . Hey , remember , like special occasions , their birthdays , anniversaries . You know how do you want people to treat you on your birthday . You want them to remember that , okay , your pastor has a birthday or an anniversary .
Speaker 1Let them know , man , I thank God for another year of your life , bro . Thank you so much . Respect their time , value their poor . You know they're pouring out Like I don't know . I just feel , like even some of our podcast family , I just want to leave some comments Like we appreciate your poor , we appreciate your investment . You don't have to . It's not that I desire a gift . I desire fruit that abound towards their account . These are principles of the kingdom . Allow their voice to be a little bit louder than other voices that you have in your life .
Speaker 1I mean , the list can go on . Is there anything else that you think of with ?
Speaker 2that I think you did it .
Speaker 1We dropped it like it was . This was easy to talk about for me because I feel like we've lived it . Yeah definitely , but you know what I feel like . There's a lot of people that are part of our church . Our church has grown so much that they see the glory , but they have no clue of the story . Wow .
Speaker 1And I'm grateful for our story . I'm grateful for these 23 years of faithfulness and how you've been ride or die for the Lord , and I pray that . I don't want to hear Jesus say thank you . I want to hear him say well done . That's the language of the kingdom . Well done , our good and faithful servant . And so , man , thank you guys for tuning in today . If you enjoyed today , let us know right now . Don't keep it to yourself . I want to know . Hopefully this has like renewed your mind , maybe giving you a different perspective , and I think that's what a lot of our podcast is about . It's just giving a kingdom perspective on things . There might be some people in your life that you need to repent to and you know what . That's cool , that's like all right . Like there might be some leaders in your life that you've taken for granted that you might should email them , text them or call them and say you know what ? I'm sorry , I just didn't get it , I didn't get my role .
Speaker 2I didn't get why you were in my life .
Speaker 1I just want you to know that I don't take your poor for granted . Um , if that's you , I just want to say welcome to the next level . Um , if you enjoyed today's content , uh , man , subscribe right now , if you can . I mean , hit the little icon button . We want you to be the first to get the content when it's released . We drop a new episode every Thursday and you know what about our ? You can binge watch this stuff , man , I know some of y'all .
Speaker 1One of my favorite shows on Netflix is Madam Secretary . You got to check it out , if you can . It's just this , this , this , um , this Washington DC kind of flick that we like . We like the drama . But you can also binge watch Ken and Tabitha . You can . You can go back and you will see the stuff that we've taught on marriage and relationships and the kingdom of God and all of these different principles , and I believe that , um , I believe it will bless you really , really good . If you want to grab hold of some of our marriage products , the things that we've created for you to have a better relationship , we have a bootcamp . Um , you can check it out in the show notes . Go to Ken and Tabithacom and we're done for the day . Give me some horns . Give me some horns . I feel like some horns . Give me some claps . Come on , give me some . Give me some . See you , then I'm done . We'll see you next time . Peace .