Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast . Hey everybody , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha .
Speaker 2Pumped to have you guys here for another episode . Welcome everybody . Yes , hey , and welcome if you're new to our podcast as well . We've been praying for you . We pray that God will send people our way and we hope that it's a blessing to you .
Speaker 1If you're new to our podcast , hit the subscribe button or the icon so you can be the first to get the content . And just know , our podcast is first and foremost a marriage podcast , but it's also a personal growth podcast , and so our goal is to help you grow closer to God and closer to the people that God has placed in your life , and we just feel like some of this that we share today is hopefully going to help that happen . We just want you to have some value , get some value out of it , and so we're excited . Every once in a while , tabitha , we do a Q&A where we just allow people to send in questions and we just kind of jump into the questions that people have sent .
Speaker 1In Matter of fact , if you have a question , take a moment very quickly . It doesn't matter what kind of question it is . Maybe it's a marriage question , parenting question , financial question , ministry question , bible question , life question . Whatever it is , just email it over to us and it might just find its answer on one of our . Q&a , but I love this time because we're able to take actual questions from real people and be able to talk about things that people need to hear . And so you want to read the first one off here .
Speaker 2Okay , I will Question number one . I would like to stay anonymous , but I recently started my spiritual journey and have been watching y'all constantly exclamation mark , trying to make myself a better wife and live how the Lord wants me to . I'm a 25-year-old woman and I have been married for a little over a year . My husband's family doesn't respect me and they are very toxic . There's a lot of conflict remarks and , honestly , it hurts my feelings and it's hard to ignore . What advice could you give us ? Thank you so much for your videos , guidance and wisdom , ken . You're a great role model for men . Tabitha , you inspire me to be a woman like you , a Proverbs 31 woman . Praise the Lord .
Speaker 1Amen , that's a good question . Thank you , a Proverbs 31 woman . Praise the Lord . Amen , that's a good question . Yeah , I think if you can search for agreement , that would be huge If you and your husband can get into agreement that how you're being treated is incorrectly .
Speaker 1Now if he's taking a position . Oh girl , just ignore them . That's just my family . That's no big deal . Man of God , I would say that if it's a big deal to your wife , then it needs to be a big deal to you . So I'm not going to subject my wife into atmospheres where she feels belittled , she feels attacked , ridiculed or misunderstood because the two have become one . And so when the Bible says that a man and woman should leave their mother and father and cleave to their spouse , this leaving and cleaving principle means that you are no longer two , but you're one .
Speaker 1And the relationship that you have with your spouse now supersedes the relationship you have with your own mother , father , kids and whoever else . The husband and wife covenant is the first relationship that needs to be protected . So my position would be if mama's not happy or my wife is not happy , well then I got to figure out what I can do to protect her , even if I had to put parameters and boundaries around other relationships with family . So that's number one I want to have a conversation , baby , what do you not like ? What would you like to do ? And number two if I have her permission , I'm going to sit down with my family and just say this is what's inappropriate . This is where the line is drawn . If you step over this line , we will have to love you from a distance . We will not be in a toxic environment . If they cannot respect that , I will start just pulling myself and my family out of that situation . And I mean not that I cut them off . I pray for them . I leave the door open .
Speaker 2But I'm not going to invest in something toxic .
Speaker 2And perhaps you control the environment . So , no , I'm not going to go to the barbecue , where the whole family's there and I'm going into their environment and they're going to make me feel a certain way . But I might have a gathering at my house where , when you come to my house , you follow my rules and I can invite people into that environment . I think that's something that can be worked out as well and I would say , yeah , it sounds like you know . They say sticks and stones may break my bones , but words will never hurt me . That's not true . Words do hurt . Words have power to them , they have weight to them , and words are like seeds . When we plant those seeds , they can produce good harvest or bad harvest , and so we don't want to be in environments that are negative and life is too short . We want to love life and enjoy the people that we're around . So I ditto what you said and I just encourage you to take those steps and be bold and brave , and I think it'll be good .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think the man has to make sure that he protects his wife number one .
Speaker 2I'm sorry , that's what I was going to say . I forgot I would also say that the two become one flesh . So as husband and wife , I would say family has to know that when you talk about my husband , you talk about me . You talk about me , right ? Yeah , we don't , don't do that .
Speaker 1Yeah , um , let's move on to the second one here . Question .
Speaker 2Oh , I'm sorry I forgot . We have been married for 29 years to my husband , or I've been married for 29 years to my husband , who is a pastor of 17 years . I am happily married , with the exception of one big thing . At church we have one woman who is a groupie . I am in counseling because of it . I will not unpack my feelings here , but I am not coping well with her actions . I feel the need to stay close to him at church . It is the weirdest thing to me that this is happening . How do you deal with this when it is a member of the church ? What advice can you offer me , mrs Claytor ? Thank you , Wow , that was directed toward me .
Speaker 1It really was , but you can answer as well . I have all kinds of opinions about this one . Yeah , you want to go first , or should I ?
Speaker 2Go first .
Speaker 1Okay , well , I would want to talk with him and obviously this is probably anonymous , but I hope she lets him see and hear this response . I'm a pastor for 17 years , just like he's a pastor for 17 years , and the principle that I've always lived by is that you come before the church . So if you're not happy with a situation , I'm going to have that situation removed . I know that I've married someone who is not jealous , who is not vindictive , who is not causing division . You are my wife , so I'm going to trust your judgment and so if you come to me and you've not done this , there might have been a couple of people over 17 years that you felt uncomfortable with me being around . I'm listening because I know you have my best I've given you a couple of warnings .
Speaker 2Like babe , this person here , I think she likes you , be careful , don't be alone with her . Just you know , this is what's going down .
Speaker 1Right , and so for me , I would listen to that . So if you ever said , hey , there's a groupie that's always around you , if his response is like , oh , baby , ain't no big deal , she on the prayer team and she just the worship leader , so forth and so on , that wouldn't be my position . I would really try to listen to my wife , and if my wife was more like no , this is a problem , it is making me uncomfortable , I would have to . I would try to work with my wife to see if I can put that person in a position that's far away from me , but , depending upon the size of the church . If that's not able to happen , I would have another leader sit down with her and see if she can find another place to worship , because we just can't have that in our house .
Speaker 1I mean it's very serious to me .
Speaker 2It's very serious .
Speaker 1What's your perspective ?
Speaker 2on that , I probably would have said the same thing , especially at the latter part , where I don't think this is a situation where the white like I myself would never go up to another woman and be like , hey , you know you're inappropriately around my husband too much . You know that's not . I feel like that's not going to get you anywhere . Have another the assistant pastor's wife , another pastor or any other person who is in leadership , let them know how you feel and let them see the inappropriateness and let them judge it for themselves , and then they can go and approach the person and we do what we do . It might be one conversation and the woman would be like oh , I'm so sorry , I had no idea , that's horrifying , and she'd correct her ways and then you never have that problem again . Or it could be like , okay , we're going to have to ask you to go and worship someplace else because this obviously isn't the place for you .
Speaker 1I mean , if we flip it around the other way , the only other thing that it could be would be the woman of God . The pastor's wife is dealing with some insecurities , right , and she's thinking people are groupies when they're not . And as a pastor , because you married a pastor , you're always going to have people that's just like oh , pastor , you're so and so you're the best , can you ?
Speaker 2pray for me .
Speaker 1And I think that if it depends on how you define a groupie if you define a groupie as people just being hungry to sit under the anointing and to try to serve well , then that's not a groupie . But what I'm thinking this is is that there's this one person that's just not right , that she's picking up on .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , that's what it feels like to me . You know so . In the last , in what you said , though , I think that's a conversation between husband and wife . You know , to make sure that you know if there are insecurities , we are talking to one another and you know communicating with one another , and I think it's the husband's responsibility you know to say hey , baby , you don't need to be insecure about this and you know you have open communication as well as the wife's responsibility to make sure that she is secure as well as the wife's responsibility to make sure that she is secure .
Speaker 1Yeah , for me as a pastor and I would just say this to any ministry leader I am going to over-parameter myself . You know what I'm saying ? I am going to over-put boundaries around me . I'm not going to be like , oh , it's not a big deal , oh , it's just a small thing . No , small things turn into big things . I'm always going to be on the other side of safety , well away from sin and so sometimes the small foxes that spoil the vine . So watch out for the small foxes .
Speaker 2Absolutely . How about this one here , Next one my wife cringes every time I bring up submission , quote unquote
. I know it is a biblical principle . She is a very hardheaded woman and I want to make sure I am leading my family Well how ?
Speaker 1can I ?
Speaker 2bring up this conversation where it doesn't create conflict .
Speaker 1Whoa , that's a good question . My man and I thank you so much for it . Um , I want to do a podcast about how to deal with a strong-willed woman . I think we talked about that how to handle a strong-willed woman , because I think we talked about that how to handle a strong-willed woman because I think you're very strong-willed and actually we just had a little interchange even before we came on the podcast here , and it didn't matter what I was saying .
Speaker 1You was going to have your perspective and you wasn't backing down . Now , to some men , they will take that as a lack of submission . A lack of submission is just you don't want to do what I want you to do and so , when it comes to this part about she's a very hardheaded woman , well , why'd you marry her ? Okay , you obviously married her because that's not her only quality .
Speaker 1She's probably still kind and sensitive and faithful and loyal , and right now you're focusing on what is a hardheaded woman For me . I would sit down with her and say , sweetheart , I feel like you're being hardheaded . And then ask her do you feel like you are ? And she might be like , no , I'm not , I'm just having an opinion . I just feel like we can do this . Okay , you do that .
Speaker 2Absolutely .
Speaker 1And I'm like . Well , I look at that as hardheaded , but it's not hardheaded in your book .
Speaker 1It's just you being a person having a perspective and an opinion , or it's going to go like she realizes that , yes , I'm very stubborn , I'm very hard-headed , but either way , you can kind of track some progress from there to where she can go through some counseling , work on submission , work on humility , work on what is that meekness , work on all of those soft things that men and women , we both need in our thing . And so that's one . I mean , I got a few things here with the submission piece , but I'll let you jump in .
Speaker 2I think you know . I think you know . For a woman it's like you said why did you marry her ? I'm sure she has some other characteristics . I'll speak for me personally . I respect the word of God and if the word tells me one thing , that's I lean into the word . And so I think that if she respects the word of God and if the word tells me one thing , that's I , I I lean into the word . And so I think that if she respects the word and maybe you two visiting the word together to understand what submission means , um , and each of you to have , you know , the right perspective and to be on the same page , because what I find in in my experience , even between the both of us , is that we do have two different views sometimes or approaches to submission . And so if we can get on the same page , but , honestly , if this is a woman who respects the word and loves God , if you guys can just go to the word together and have those conversations together , I think you'll come to agreement .
Speaker 1So what would you speak to women about ? Submission ?
Do you submit to me ? Why do you submit to me ? How do you view submission ?
Speaker 2How would ?
Speaker 1you define it , can you just ?
Speaker 2I think submission is one of those things that I think that we do submit . I submit to you , but there's a mutual submission to where we submit to one another . Now , when we talk about leadership and headship of the marriage , I think that's different . So , as the head of our marriage and as the leader of our marriage , I will submit to that leadership in different circumstances . So , whether it's a way , something that we want to do with our kids , something that we want to do with our finances , a direction that we want to move as a family , if I have a different opinion than you , I will submit to your leadership as the head of my family . That's what submission means to me .
Speaker 1Okay , submission , sub Under Another mission . Okay , so what it means Technically Is that you're going to come Under another's mission , not your own . Okay , submission Is not a position of weakness , it's only a position of strength . Because , it takes two equals To submit . So when the Bible says that a man and his wife Is heirs together To the grace of life , or that he made male and female In the grace of life , or that he made male and female in the image of God created , he them and he created them to have dominion .
Speaker 1When he says that a man is going to be the head , it's not saying you're going to dominate or to be ruler necessarily . It's saying that you're going to have spiritual responsibility , you're going to have the leadership role . The best way that I could describe the relationship between husband and wife in the home would be head coach and assistant coach , or president and vice president . Now , if I'm the president , I'm going to my vice president and I'm running everything past them . What do you think about this policy ? What do you think about this ? What do you think about ? What's your perspective ?
Speaker 1I'm using my cabinet and so , at the end of the day , I know that when this hit the headlines , I'm going to be the one persecuted . At the end of the day , I know that when this hit the headlines , I'm going to be the one persecuted . I'm going to be the one attacked . I'm going to be the one that takes maybe the reward or the consequence for it . But I'm not stupid enough to make decisions by myself without getting counsel from everybody who's around me . So , to me , because I'm a sports guy , when I think of a head coach , I think of he's the first one to get fired . I think he's the first one . Even sometimes the team would do bad and it was a team's fault , but he says , hey , I didn't coach well tonight . That's how a husband should be . He takes the blunt of everything , he's the one to stick in his neck .
Speaker 1He's a spiritual leader but he's smart enough to listen to his coaching staff . He's smart enough to listen to the wise people that are around him . So when it comes to submission , my wife cringes every time I bring up submission .
Speaker 1Can we talk about that ? Submission is not a position of weakness , because you got to be strong and mature to submit . So if you are cringing at the word submission , that means that you don't understand it . Jesus submitted to the cross , tabitha submits to me , but I also submit to her . So a mutual submission is important , that we understand that we're gonna submit one to another in our everyday lives . Now , in a marriage , every once in a while there'll come a decision the head coach gotta make After I've gotten some counsel and say , baby , I hear you , I'm with you , but we gotta do this right now . And then I need you to say , okay , I trust the order of God and the God on the inside of you , I'll go with you and so . But if you're cringing every time you hear that , you want to talk to that , because why would a woman cringe at the word submission ? She's hearing slavery . She's hearing you're controlling me , and that might be his definition of submission . I'm the man .
Speaker 2Exactly . It depends on yeah , it's , it's his perspective and how he's using this word permission , and it's her perspective and how she's receiving it . I mean , it can go both ways . I love you know what you just said . That's what you know submission is . I think sometimes submission can be used incorrectly to where , like , disagreement and submission are two different words and two different things , and so if we disagree with something , I would hate for you to come for me and be like , oh , you're just not being submitted . That's not true , I just disagree .
Speaker 1Well for a man , sometimes it feels like that .
Speaker 2It feels like that .
Speaker 1It feels like that , especially when you have a very strong-willed woman who's very opinionated and also very vocal . It seems like man every time I'm trying to do this . It's a fight . If she could just be quiet and follow me .
Speaker 1And that's why I get a lot of men . It's like my wife won't submit . My wife won't submit , she's just . I mean , I just sat down with a guy over the last week and it was just like he was . Like you know , my wife is , she's a little hood , and she's just like I can't tell her nothing , she won't follow me nothing , and like I can teach him how to be a better coach . Right , but there will be some things I would say to her as well , right .
Speaker 2Right , I think that . I think that it's a conversation that's needed . If somebody doesn't want to submit , they're just not going to . You know what I mean ? They have to understand the word the way we just defined it , that it doesn't take . It takes two equals to submit .
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2Somebody has to say , OK , I'm going to follow you .
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2Somebody has to do it . In the husband wife relationship , it's the wife that's going to say OK , whatever you say , I'm trusting in you , yes , but ultimately I trust in God , the institution of marriage , and this is the order that he set for it . Because , god , since I trust you , I have faith that you're going to lead him in the right way . Okay , and so . That's what you know submission is , but I think that sometimes , when it comes to disagreement though disagreement , if we disagree , it's like that doesn't equal submission , that you're not submitted . That just means that , okay , let's sit down and now we have to have a deeper conversation until we can get on the same page .
Speaker 1Well , a lot of guys are stopping short there .
Speaker 2Yeah , you're stopping , cause it takes more than that , and we've had so many of these conversations throughout the years because I disagree with you and I went and we're arguing our points back . No , I feel like this , okay . Well , you feel like that and you keep communicating until , okay , I've said what I had to say . I don't have anything else to say . I've heard you and I'm I feel understood and you feel understood and I understand you and you understand me , although we may disagree . Now here's where submission comes in . We have thoroughly . I respect your opinion , you respect my opinion , but now , at the end of the day , we disagree . But guess what ? I'm going to go with you . Whatever you decide , I submit to that and we're going to go with it .
Speaker 1And that's a whole word , that's a word . It literally is a podcast that you , after you've been heard , after you feel heard , after I've respected you , at the end of the day , you're going to trust the God in me . Yes , because if you don't trust the God in me , you probably shouldn't have married me .
Speaker 1Right , Because that's what it means to come under the law of the lid . Woman of God , you are trusting the God in me . But here's the thing . Twenty-five years of marriage . How many times have I had to make a decision that we wasn't in agreement with ?
Speaker 2I don't know if we ever did . I don't know .
Speaker 1I can't remember one . Yeah , I don't know Because when we hash it out and I'm trying to hear you and you're trying to hear me . Through that communication we usually like we can sense the wisdom of God kind of bubble up like you know what . Let's just do this .
Speaker 2And it's like , okay , let's do it , say you have the Lord and you hear from the Lord and are led by the Lord , and I say I have the Lord and hear the Lord .
Speaker 1I mean between the two of us we should come to look , 25 years of buying houses , automobiles , raising kids where they're going to go to college , building church , every conflict we've ever had we don't even have one where we can say , well , I still don't agree with that . No , we've just been like , let me hear you , let me hear you . Okay , we're going to make a decision and both of us kind of feel good about the decision we've made after we consult God and we submit to each other . So my hope is that coach head , coach , man of God , that you can get there . You might have to grow in your coaching skills , though .
Speaker 2That's really what that is , yeah , especially if she's what he calls a hardheaded woman . That's your strong willed woman , that woman . She knows what she wants when she wants it . That's a good thing .
Speaker 1Well , us dudes , that's the kind of woman we want to marry , but then we can't handle them . Sometimes we want to marry someone who is a boss lady and can handle stuff and manage stuff and do stuff , and then we're like Lord , this is tougher than I thought .
Speaker 2You know it's okay . Yeah , it's okay .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah . But God blesses the unity when you come in agreement . All right , this one here . You want to read this one ?
Speaker 2How do you keep your intimacy strong while going through a big transition in life ? We had , we just had our first child and it takes up our entire time . We don't have much help from family for context . From from family for context . Yeah , ah , new parents and they have no time and no family help .
Speaker 1Well , that's just life , everybody . It is what do you do ? You got to prioritize it . That's all so for the last 20 years , for almost every Friday night , we've made our date night , and so , whether it's , we got to get somebody to help us from church , we got to hire a babysitter , we got to get a nanny service .
Speaker 1When we've had little babies . We still prioritize date nights . I'm talking about you will pump . I mean we went on vacation and the baby would be like two months old . We leave the baby at home , pump and dump . You pump and dump in the Bahamas . Why ? Because we're valuing our married life . So I think that if you can just keep that part as a priority like you know , yes , you don't have any family , we didn't have family either , but you have the family of God and that's why you need a church home . A church home is so much more important than just going there and you get some message on . No , it's a community .
Speaker 1It's a place to belong . You're part of something bigger than yourself and what I've seen is that when you're really sold out and you love your church and your church loves you , there's always going to be a 19 year old , a 20 year old that would love to help you with your kids because you're a part of the spiritual family Ditto . Nothing else on that .
Speaker 2We've done those things . We moved to Florida and the rest of our family was up north in West Virginia , washington DC and Pennsylvania , and so when we went to church or started a church , we had church moms be our nannies and we had college kids come and babysit our kids every once in a while and the church was our family .
Speaker 1With this one . I think you need to do a little bit more writing write some books and pamphlets on just mental toughness , because a lot of this is this is , from a woman's perspective , probably this like we just had a child and it's taken up our entire time , mm-hmm . Well , there's a lot of things that will come in your life that will take up your entire time it's not a child , it's your second child , it's your third child .
Speaker 1It's also if you get a bad doctor's report . It's also if you have to take care of a parent that's sickly . It's also if you get a job that's too demanding . You know people want to make six figures until they realize that means you work 70 hours a week . It's all of this stuff and you have to have a mindset that I won't let my responsibility stop . My first priority , which is my first , jesus , and secondarily my spouse .
Speaker 1That's what you've been able to do , and it ain't easy , but it can be done . And so somebody wrote in and says I'm a brand new pastor and it seems like ministry is sucking me dry when , I get home and I have no energy for my wife or kids . How can I better manage ministry and family ?
Speaker 2That sounds really real right , that's been our lives .
Speaker 1Well , here's the deal I'm creating , soon to come , a pastoral network where we can have pastors from around the world kind of fellowship and come together where we can really build each other up , support
one another .
Speaker 2I would say those of you all who are not pastors .
Speaker 1Man , make your pastor's job easy . Pray for your pastors . Pastors are under attack . They're people too . They're people that have an anointing to help people , but they're people . They deal with the same financial challenges , sicknesses and problems . So you want to be easy to lead . You want to be a person that's always grateful towards your pastor , praying for your pastor every single day . You want to be a person that's not . What is that ? Tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine , but this is very common . Unfortunately . There's a lot of people statistically leaving the ministry . Pastors don't make it very long because of how hard it is . So let's normalize this for a moment . Ministry is sucking me dry , but even though it's normal , you cannot stay there , man of God . Here's the deal . Bill Johnson . I heard him say this years ago that burnout is simply when you put out more than what you put in . And a lot of people have burnout and it's easy . You're simply putting out to people more than what you're putting in .
Speaker 1You have to put more into yourself podcast conferences for you , mentors , counseling , um , listen to the word , reading the word , studying the word . Even on . I've just talked to you . Um , what tomorrow , day after tomorrow , taking just a two day pray vacation ? Cause I got to put back into me . I got to put back into me .
Speaker 1You can feel your spiritual tank going towards E . Nobody can get it back to F . You have to do that yourself . Every time you preach , you are giving people what you have . So people are like man . I just feel so built up . Well , I feel so ran down After every single podcast . We are now giving you what we have . So now we have to go home and really build up our marriage again , because we've now given you hope for yours , we've given you faith for yours , we've actually taken what we have and we've given it to people . So now we got to go build ourself back up so that we can do it again . But when it comes to family , that has to be your first priority . We don't need public success and private failures . There's too many people in public leadership offices while their marriages and families fall apart .
Speaker 1So you need a season where you can come together , reprioritize and if , for some reason , then you're not able to do both , I will start thinking about do I need to take a step out of ministry to care for my family , which is my number one ministry ? Yes , sir , Now our hope is that you won't have to do that .
Speaker 2Right , yeah , I think that you know , throughout the years , the things that have made our family successful by you . We've always had a balance in who stays at home , who's like . We always had an anchor in the home , like mother , where I there was give and takes , where sometimes I would go into the office more and then we would see our home life and family life begin to be stressed , and so I say , hey , I'm working too much , I need to be at home more .
Speaker 2So , maybe I worked two days a week , you know , or three days a week , you know , or none at all , when we first had children and things like that . So I became an anchor in our family to where I got the home front here , so that when you do come home , we had like rituals or like routines . So whenever you came home I know this is a stressful time for you , you know what I mean . So come home , we give daddy a hug and kiss , daddy , goes somewhere for 15 minutes and unwinds and just sits down and does whatever he wants , and then we call daddy out because now it's time to eat and we have family dinner and then he talks to me it's not a burden , and you can speak to this too . Like you would come home day after day and we'd sit at the table and then the kids would go off their way and you would communicate with me .
Speaker 2Tab , this happened at the office . This happened at the office . What do you think about this ? And then I would build you up , I would give , I would remind you of you know prophetic words , I would remind you of visions you know , of of what God told you . Hey , remember , this is the goal and this is where we're going . And then I would be your biggest fan , like , baby , don't listen to what they said , because , abc , I would give you wisdom . I would let the Lord use me to minister to you . So every time you came home , I felt like this is a time where you didn't feel like , oh , I got to pour out to my family now because I wasn't working . My responsibility now was like I'm going to be the glue that holds all this together . My kids are straight Now . When he comes home , I have enough to minister to him .
Speaker 1You were working , but the work you were doing in the ministry was keeping the main minister built up . Amen was keeping the main minister built up .
Speaker 1Amen and I think that that's a very important job for the wife to take and not just feel like , well , I got ministry in me and I could be doing all kinds of yeah , but everything is a season and there are seasons of building where , especially launching a church , or , if you're newer in ministry , it's taken your whole life . And that's what a lot of people don't know about ministry . When a pastor has built something from the ground up and it's doing very well , it's because he's died somewhere along the way and he's given up his career , his goal , his plans , everything else that he could do . And that's why I always believe that . You know and there's a lot of people they tear down the pastors for making money or having success , but the scripture says that he who preached the gospel should live off the gospel .
Speaker 1It doesn't say that he should struggle off the gospel . And you don't want a struggling leader , because the last thing you want somebody who's giving you good spiritual food is to come home and be struggling . They'll never make it that way . Now they have a target on their back that has been placed there by the enemy , because when the shepherd is smited , the sheep will flee and many times people don't understand how to cover their shepherd , to pray for their shepherd , to be the errand and hearse for their shepherd .
Speaker 1You was that for me and I would just say thank you from the bottom of my heart that you are always my prophet at home , my prophetess to build me up , to comfort me , to encourage me . There's been many years that I fought off depression or I've had sheep bites that felt like they were infected in my soul that I felt like giving up , that I wasn't making a big difference , that I was unseen and unheard . But you kept reminding me of . This is what God has said . This is who you are . No , they don't understand who you are .
Speaker 1No , that's a misunderstanding , they don't see it , but I see it . And if you have a spouse like that , you can get beyond these burnout places . If you don't , you need counseling .
Speaker 1We need to reconsider where you are in ministry to see if you guys can become a better team . You know all of that , but like being in a place where you feel like I don't have energy can be multifold . It could be you have trauma that you didn't figure out before you got into ministry . It could be that you don't have any fun outlets , that you don't have any friends , that where iron sharpens iron . It could be that you're simply trying to do too much for where you are .
Speaker 1Sometimes in ministry you gotta scale back . You don't need to be posting all the time and acting like you , this big YouTube and preacher and Facebook person . You ain't gotta do that right now . Just preach the word on Sunday . You ain't got to do a Sunday and a midweek and a Bible study and a leadership school and you got nobody's on staff and it's only you . Well , that's why you're burned out right now . Just real , real good on Sundays . Raise up other leaders . Start to delegate some responsibility away . Get your home really good . Get into therapy . Build up your soul . Find some fun . Go to the beach , go to an amusement park , have . Find some fun . Go to the beach , go to an amusement park , have the joy of the .
Speaker 1Lord , which is your strength , and then live to fight another day . Live to fight another day . It's so good . Yeah , hey , I feel good about this one .
Speaker 1I hope that this question and answer blessed you guys . Please share this man Especially . It felt like it had a lot of leadership questions that we love . We love helping pastors and ministers and evangelists , business owners , kingdom builders , those of you all who have influence and responsibilities . It's the same . There's nothing new under the sun . If you are an employer , if you are an influencer , satan wants to come . It's just like at 9-11 . When those planes hit , it hit the top and then it made everything else fall . And many times Satan will come to the top and then it made everything else fall . And many times Satan will come to the top , meaning the leader , the one who's the employer , the one who's the pastor , so that everybody else below them will be effective . And we need each other , we need ministry . We really do .
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Speaker 1Just know that you're not alone .
Speaker 2Absolutely , we're praying for you .
Speaker 1Our team is praying for you . We will continue to do our best to bring you life-giving , life-changing content , as long as God wills , and so we love y'all . We'll see you next Thursday , god bless you Peace .