Hey , welcome to Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha . We are so pumped that you're tuning into this podcast . It has been designed for people just like you . We wanna do life with you , share our wins , our defeats , our ups and our downs , in hopes that you'll grow closer to God and to the people that you love in your life . Sit back and enjoy today's podcast .
Speaker 1The only way that I've been able to grow my capacity to where I can actually come to work today and not feel stressed and have peace and have joy is that I had to know where my limit was and then allow God to increase my limit . So there is the fear of burnout , where people are living in fear that they're taking on too much . So , instead of allowing themselves to get to their limit , they start cutting short beyond where their limit is . But the problem is is that they never find their ceiling . And if you never find your ceiling , you can never grow it to the next level . I would rather in my life feel stressed , sometimes feel like I'm overworked and I'm overwhelmed , so that I can know my limit , but then I can believe God and do certain things to increase my limit so that I'm not in 10 years where I am on today . Absolutely , talk to me about that , do you see it ?
Speaker 2Absolutely . I feel like that , because that's the only way you break through to another level . We've trained for a marathon before and we ran , I mean , 26 miles . How did we make it to 26 miles ? We had to start with one , and then we had to start with 10 miles and 20 miles , and you had to keep going and going and going , and every time you pressed the limit to where your ceiling becomes your floor ceiling becomes your floor
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Speaker 1Today we want to talk about burnout and we want to talk about letting go of the fear of burnout , and I'm looking at this kind of like two different topics kind of combined into one , because one is burnout .
Speaker 1And I think that's like a whole conversation in itself . What is burnout ? How does it come ? How does it grow ? How do we get rid of it ? Sometimes people say things are burnout . Maybe it's not burnout , let's talk about that . But then there's like this fear of burnout , where people are like living their lives so they don't get burnout , and I think I want to kind of save that towards the end . But I want to just to start off and ask you this question have you ever been burnt out before ?
Speaker 2I want to say , yes , I have , and yeah , I've been burnt out before .
Speaker 1In which way .
Speaker 2I think I got burnt out with work . I was working too much , I had three children and I wasn't taking care of my health . I think that would be the number one thing for me that just ignoring , you know , the health signals , like , you know you need to sleep more or go to the doctor , and so I think those , that combination , made me physically ill . I was physically ill and I had to take a break .
Speaker 1Okay , break that down for me . What do you mean by physically ?
Speaker 2ill . I had like autoimmune things rise up in me , like from stress and things like that . So I was having a lot of inflammation in my body , um , and you know , actually , um , even you know , doctors will say now that a lot of the sicknesses that we deal with um are rooted in stress . And so I got to a point where I was running , running , running , I wasn't taking vacations and I wasn't resting and I wasn't taking care of my body like I should , and I think it was just a lot of stress and it was overload on my body . And I went to the doctor and they're like hey , something's going on in your body . We think it's autoimmune and I had to deal with that .
Speaker 1That's interesting . That is not the answer that I thought that you would have . So you feel that you have experienced burnout , so I don't know , kind of , what's your definition of burnout ?
Speaker 2My definition . Okay , it is like when you reach capacity mental capacity , emotional capacity , physical capacity like you can't take anymore , you're done .
Speaker 1Okay , that's interesting , and so your definition of burnout . And so , when you look at your life , you say that you experienced burnout at a time and it began to affect your physical health , and it was just because of what ? Again , like life , children , babies .
Speaker 2Yeah , life , uh-huh , and it was just because of what again , like life , children , babies yeah , life , and I think it's just sometimes , you know not that I was doing anything wrong . I think the wrong thing that I was doing was not really paying attention to my body and like the physical signs of my body , but I was just kind of gritting through a hard time , like gritting through ministry , gritting through having , you know , a three-year-old , a four-year-old and an eight-year-old .
Speaker 1Okay , Well , looking back , what would you do different ?
Speaker 2I would take time off . I would take time to do things that I enjoy , like read a book . I would delegate responsibilities and if I didn't have anyone to take care of those responsibilities , it just wouldn't get done , because my health is more important .
Speaker 1Okay , okay . So because I'm interested , that's very interesting . It's very interesting , it's going to be a great conversation today , because so your burnout , as you define it , was a little self-inflicted .
Speaker 2Yeah . I think , I would argue that all burnout is self-inflicted .
Speaker 1Meaning that you didn't know how to delegate , didn't delegate , you didn't take time off you probably could have took time off Didn't know how to say no , didn't know how to say no , and there was things , and I guess was this over an extended period of time .
Speaker 2Yes , okay . Month after month after month , maybe year after year .
Speaker 1Okay . Okay , I want to give a classical definition of burnout , if I could , All right , Because burnout refers to a state of emotional , mental and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress , and it's categorized by a few different symptoms exhaustion , cynicism , reduced effectiveness . Okay , and so . Exhaustion , of course , is feeling drained , depleted
or the lacking of energy . You have cynicism where it's developing negative attitudes towards work , relationships , life in general . Reduced effectiveness , experiencing difficulty concentrating , making decisions and achieving goals . Were those , does any of those ? Which ones of those ring a bell with ? Where ?
Speaker 2you are All of them . Exha , exhaustion , really the exhaustion feeling drained , depleted , lacking energy . Um , because I would do things . And then it was like , because I am an achiever , you know like I have goals , I have things , you know , dreams that I want to accomplish . I would wake up in the morning and run three miles and then take the kids to school and then do anything you know and then do everything else that I needed to do . So I would keep on pushing , and pushing , and pushing , but it made me more and more exhausted and more and more drained at the end of the day .
Speaker 1That's interesting , okay , because I mean it kind of feels like that's just life , though , like you kind of do the same thing now . Yeah , you get up , you work out , you record podcasts , you write things , you prepare things , you take care of the kids . What's the big difference ? Are you burnout now ?
Speaker 2No .
Speaker 1What's the difference between then and now ?
Speaker 2Now , I know my capacity , I know when , I start to feel exhausted . I know when I start to feel exhausted . I know when I start to feel cynical , when I start to feel I call it just angry all the time . Oh , you need a break .
Speaker 1Just take a day or two pray , do what you got to do , but get it together so that you don't burn out . That's interesting . Okay , any other key symptoms that you feel I didn't cover ? Exhaustion , cynicism , reduced effectiveness , anything else you would throw in there , just from your case .
Speaker 2From my case key symptoms . I would say just feeling overwhelmed . Did you put that in there ? Feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you have too much to do , like you don't have a way out . I would say Almost like you are drowning . You're drowning like you don't have a way out . I would say Almost like you are drowning . You're drowning , suffocating .
Speaker 1Can't breathe .
Speaker 2Feeling unheard . Okay , you know , like man I'm screaming . I'm screaming for help and nobody's here to help me . Wives feel like that . When you have small children , you can feel like that , even dads too . You know , husbands , you're running this whole household . You got this whole thing going on plus a business plus your job , plus ministry , you can feel like , oh my gosh , I'm drowning here , I need some help . I think those things can signal a burnout is coming as well .
Speaker 1I would probably put symptoms like emotional , like feeling numb , unmotivated physical headaches , trouble sleeping , mental difficulty , focusing , forgetfulness from spiritual standpoint , feeling disconnected from God , feeling numb to God , spiritual dryness from relational withdrawing . I think , isolation is big . I see people do that they like to .
Speaker 1when they're going through something , pull back and actually they probably need to push in or lean into community , lean into therapy , lean into advice , but they actually do the opposite . And to me , all of those are what I call like red flags , and so if I'm talking to somebody who's like dealing with burnout or on the edge of burnout , I would say pay attention to the red flags . There's emotional red flags , there's spiritual red flags . But I think what happens why people get burnout is that they don't pay attention to the red flags and they just keep going and keep going and they keep going , and it's almost like when the engine light is on in your car . It means like pull in and get it , get service you know , like pull in and figure out what's wrong with your engine .
Speaker 2The engine light is the warning sign that your car is about to burn out .
Speaker 1It's telling you something's not right . Right , but I think if you just keep on driving with the engine light on , you could blow out the transmission , you could blow out the engine and then you have a much more expensive and difficult fix on the way .
Speaker 1And I feel like there's some people that are there you just keep avoiding and you can't do that . But for me , I don't know . If you were to say how I've ever had burnout , I would say no . That's why I'm interested in what you just said . I would say no . I would say I feel like I've had times where I've been very stressed , times where I feel like I'm overworked , times where I feel like I'm overwhelmed and I have too much to do and not enough time to do it . I've had times where I feel like I'm overwhelmed and I have too much to do and not enough time to do it . I've had times where I felt really discouraged , almost even depressed and sad . I've had those times . But the reason that I would say I've not had burnout is because I just didn't stay there . You know what I'm saying . I didn't stay in it long enough . So I'm really trying to get my hand around , especially this common day what is burnout ?
Speaker 2Okay , we need to talk about that . Okay , Because what it's funny , your definition that you just said , because I could say the same thing . So when you asked me have I ever experienced burnout ? I hesitated . I was like , well , if you define it the way we're defining , it as a society right now yeah .
Speaker 1I would call it that . I don't even know how are we defining it as a society . It feels like everybody's about to be on .
Speaker 2That's what I want to talk about , because that it kind of gets on my nerves . I don't like the word burnout . I don't like it because it's like so , like oh , you know , I got burnt out , and there's just kind of victim mentality In my opinion . It seems like , oh , poor you , you got burnt out and I just I don't like that . I don't like to even admit that I was burnt out , and that's probably a different issue . You know what I mean .
Speaker 1But I think I'm glad you did , I'm glad you started it that way , because I want to talk about it .
Speaker 2Yeah , absolutely . But I like what you said is that because if I look at your life , I would say I can maybe say two times that possibly you were burnt out Two times .
Speaker 2One time , a long time ago I don't know , maybe 10 years ago now I would call it a little about Colbert and he tested all . You were just tired and he tested your adrenals and he was like , I mean , just dead , dead , dead dead , You're burnt out , You're burnt out , You're burnt out , You're burnt out , Ken . And you're sitting there with glassy eyes and I'm like
, oh my gosh , my husband's burnt out . Like mentally , you're tough Ment mentally . You were there for the fight but your body was like , look , I'm done . I need you to fuel me up for a minute .
Speaker 1Okay , well , in that context , yes , we maybe could classify that as burnt out . I look at it a little bit more physical like my adrenal glands literally were off and my adrenals were going like almost like revving an engine to where it affected me physically . But there was a reason that I got there , um , no-transcript , and that are just a part of life and success that we've been built to be able to handle . There's a level of broadening your back that God allows you to go through . That makes you .
Speaker 1I guess what I'm saying is this be very , very careful not to label yourself with something that you don't find in scripture , Like was Peter burnt out ? Was Paul burnt out ? The man was shipwrecked , his whole ship is destroyed . He's coming into the island on a piece of wood , gets bit by a snake , throws it off , doesn't die . I'm talking about he's in prison over here . Then he gets out , then he's in prison again . Nobody's like . He's not in there , like he's like . I know how to abase and how to abound . Come on , I know how , in all things , to be content . The language between what we see from the martyrs and the people in the Bible that carry their cross , versus today's language , we've actually taken the everyday stressors of life , the challenges and the problems with building family , ministry and business , and we say that's burning us out . And I just want to help somebody today because maybe it's not burnout , maybe it's an opportunity to increase your capacity .
Speaker 2Come on , I think I love what you said about the New Testament and what it's talking about with burnout and carrying our cross , Because a lot of people , including myself we refer to the Old Testament and we see how Elisha was burnt out right Running from Jezebel , we see how David was burnt out hiding in caves and stuff like that . But the difference is there's a difference from the Old Testament and we're reading about those people in the New Testament . In the New Testament , yeah , Paul is like yeah , I'm going to carry my cross . I was shipwrecked , this happened , that happened , but I'm still here . I'm going to still keep fighting .
Speaker 1Well , he would say things like his grace is sufficient for me . I can do all things through Christ who brings it to me . I mean , I can go on and on about the example . I just don't feel like it was a common denominator of Jesus to say no , I'm burnt out .
Speaker 1I can't do this whole cross thing , this ridicule thing , debating with the Sanhedrin Just not my day . I'm a little burnt out today . You know what I'm saying . I don't see that as a common theme in Scripture . However , here's the deal . We get it . We're human beings .
Speaker 1Now I feel like we have a lot going on in life and I've realized the more and more that we do building family , business , podcast , ministry the more warfare and also the more weight and that's why I'm coming back to my main point is that maybe when you feel like stressed problems , pain and roadblock , instead of necessarily feeling like something's wrong , I need to lighten my load . Maybe you can ask God to increase His grace or to increase your capacity to handle whatever load he's allowed in your life . Now here's my personal belief and I would love to hear what you guys think . Please , in the comments , let us know your thoughts , questions . We would love to hear from you . If you're new to our podcast , make sure you hit the subscribe button . We want you to get the content as soon as it comes out . We're building a family here . We just love to hear from you . Write a review . We love the community . We love the conversation .
Speaker 1My concern with people with the common theme of burnout is this I cannot increase my capacity unless I first identify where my capacity is . Your capacity , like my capacity right now , was like 15 years ago I didn't have the capacity that I have right now . Okay , meaning that back in the day I had one church and it was hard , and we had one child and it was hard . Now I got three children one in college , one in high school , one in middle school . I have a church in three cities , I think four locations , and starting campuses internationally . We have back in the day it was hard having two employees . Now we have over 35 employees non-contractors .
Speaker 1You know what I'm saying ? What I'm saying is that I didn't have the capacity for that 15 years ago and the only way that I've been able to grow my capacity to where I can actually come to work today and not feel stressed and have peace and have joy is that I had to know where my limit was and then allow God to increase my limit . So there is the what is burnout , but then there's this fear of burnout , because the fear of burnout is where people are living in , fear that they're taking on too much so instead of allowing themselves to get to their limit , they start cutting short beyond where their limit is . But the problem is is that they never find their ceiling , and if you never find your ceiling you can never grow it to the next level .
Speaker 1I would rather in my life feel stress , sometimes feel like I'm overworked and I'm overwhelmed , so that I can know my limit , but then I can believe God and do certain things to increase my limit , so that I'm not in 10 years where I am on today . Talk to me about that . Do you see it ? That I'm not in 10 years where I am on today ? Absolutely . Talk to me about that , do you see it ?
Speaker 2Absolutely . I feel like that , because that's the only way you break through to another level . When you think about sports , you know , like you're a runner , I'm a runner , but there are ways that I mean we've trained for marathon before and we ran , I mean , 26 miles . How did we make it to 26 miles ? We had to start with one and then we had to start with 10 miles and 20 miles and you had to keep going and going and going and every time you pressed the limit to where your ceiling becomes your floor , and sometimes I mean that's just in stress .
Speaker 2You build muscles because of stress , the stress that you add to your muscle , and so we have to have the right perspective . You know what I mean . A lot of the reason why we can handle now more now than 10 years ago is because we have a different perspective now than what we did 10 years ago . You know through growth . But listen , if you sit on the couch and watch everybody else do everything , you're going to still be on the couch 10 years from now and we will have grown and have different perspective , but you'll still have the same perspective on the same couch , with the same mentality .
Speaker 1Right , you know one podcaster that I love . He's like a personal growth person specifically for business leaders His name is Ed Milet .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , and he has a principle called the one more principle , and he tells a story about how he was in the gym and he came up on a guy who had these amazing , like let's just call them lats . They had just amazing lats , amazing triceps or something like that . Just , I mean , the guy was working out , just one of those guys that was just cut . And he comes to him and he's like hey , man , I love the way your back looks , man , your shoulders are amazing . And he was like how many reps do you do ? And he said the guy looked at me and he looked at me like what do you mean ? Like that's such a weird question . How many reps do I do ? He's like yeah , man , how many reps do you do ? He says I do them until I can't do them anymore . And he was like , all of a sudden I
felt like the biggest bozo in the world because I'm in the middle of the gym asking this guy . He was like because when I start doing my workout , he says I do eight and then I stop .
Speaker 1Or I'll do 10 and I'll stop , or I might do 12 with lightweight and I kind of do these sets and I stop . But why do you stop at 12 if you got 15 in you and why do you stop at 15 if you got 20 in you ? There's something about the power of one more , your ability to realize where your limit is and just put yourself . So what people who are really , really good at sports and athletics know is that you got to push yourself beyond your limits to create new limits . But then sometimes I feel like people get saved and then they get a fear of stress , a fear of burnout , a fear of having too much , and they never know where their limit is and they miss the power of just doing it one more time to increase who you are as a person . Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2You know , I just had this image when you were saying one more , of somebody taking just one more scoop of ice cream , just one more cookie just one more hamburger .
Speaker 2You know what I mean . You always get . You know we can do one more when it comes to pleasure and things that feel good . But when you change your perspective and understand that you have to do one more of the things that don't feel good , you have to do one more of the things that are challenging for you , that take you out of your comfort , your zone of comfort . You know what I mean . That's what makes us greater .
Speaker 1So the principle is like when you feel like you're at your capacity , just do one more .
Speaker 2Do one more . That is awesome At the end of the day .
Speaker 1You've made a bunch of calls .
Speaker 2Make one more At the end of the day .
Speaker 1You've made a bunch of calls . Make one more . You've returned a bunch of emails make one more . You've forgiven a bunch of people . Forgive one more time . You've read some scripture . Read one more scripture . Increase your capacity . Don't stop where you are Now . People who are okay where they are . They're not going to like this podcast , and it's okay because I love to help people grow . I want to help them grow in love with Jesus . But not just grow in love with Jesus . But not just grow in love with Jesus , grow yourself of who ?
Speaker 2you are .
Speaker 1I want to grow me as a human being like as a husband , as a father , as a leader . I'm on a quest . I just can't be the same person I am today . I can't be that in a month , I can't be that in six months .
Speaker 2You know , I have a lot of conversations with people maybe in their thirties , twenties , and a concern , it's a big concern of theirs to not get burnt out . They're concerned about burnout . It has become this buzzword , but I noticed . My question to them is have you ever been burnt out ? Well , no , but you know , I know such and such said because they listen to the podcast , they listen to other people who have been burnt out , but you've never been burnt out yourself , you know . So , like , what are we afraid of here ? And I think that sometimes we can listen so much , you know , like it's I don't know . We have to appropriate everything that we listen to .
Speaker 1Do you know what I mean ? Because there's trends that come around . There's all these trends .
Speaker 2Like there's a trend . Narcissist is a trend right now . Everybody's a narcissist .
Speaker 1Everybody's a narcissist , but that's been around for 33,000 years narcissist , everybody's a narcissist , but that's been around for 33,000 years , it's like it's not a new word here , You're just now figuring this out .
Speaker 2I mean , I love it , though , I love the trends , but let's not label ourselves like you said . Yeah .
Speaker 1This idea happened for me . We had some ministry students come from another nation and they came to visit our church and so I actually preached four services on this day and then I did a round table . There was probably about 30 students and they were future ministry leaders and they were just coming to shadow our church . So in the round table we said , okay , you guys are in your twenties . Most of them ask any question to someone who's been in ministry for 18 years . And man , the questions were great . I mean these really wise kids , I mean students they were just anointed brilliant people . And one lady , not from America , she asked a question . She says well , how do you feel about burnout and what would be your advice so that we don't get burnout .
Speaker 1And for some reason , when she asked that , I said oh , so you have that overseas too . You have this , you have this . I said okay , so let's talk about it .
Speaker 2And it was almost like a righteous indignation came in me Cause , like out of all the questions you guys could ask me , you're asking me about how not to get burned out , not how do I make it to you know , fulfill every dream and do everything that God's called me to do ? How do I get there ?
Speaker 1It's like how do I not burn out ? How do I not burn out ? That's your question . You came all the way from a different continent and a different nation to sit through service and ask me how you can not get burned out , and what it showed me is that that's the question of a generation and it's a fear , and we've not been called to walk by fear . We've been called to walk by faith , and so God's not giving us the spirit of fear . I understand the concern . I understand . Let's live life with parameters . That's like . Pastor , what do you do to make sure ? How do I fair proof my marriage for ?
Speaker 2ministry .
Speaker 1Oh , that's a great question . How do you make sure that we end well and retire well when we've given everything that we have to ? Oh , that's a great question , and I understand that's in the context of a great question , but at the same time it marked me like this is what people want to know . There is a fear that people have they don't want to be used by the church , they don't want to be used by people , they don't want to be taken advantage of , they don't want to feel like they've spent their wills and kind of there's a part of me , after being in ministry for 20 some years and serving people , it's like when you say yes to Jesus , you give your life away . You are signing up to be burnt out , because I think if once again I'm playing off the definition you said that you were burnt out Would you change anything about what you did ?
Speaker 2No , I mean I would , yeah , I would change my approach .
Speaker 1You would maybe do some different things ? Would you necessarily say , that was a season that hurt me ?
Speaker 2I don't know what you mean by that . It was a season that hurt me .
Speaker 1Well , let me explain for you . The seasons that you say for me actually made me who I am today . The seasons where you say , well , you were depressed , you didn't want to come out of your room , I felt you were down and out . It actually the rebound from that actually made me who I am today . I'm tougher and I'm tender . I'm more tender and I'm more tough today . It gave me a broader perspective . It helps me have compassion with those who are hurting , but also the ability to say get yourself together and get up , because you're made for more the times that you're talking about . Even when I was in my adrenaline yeah , I wish that I would have known different principles and maybe done some different things , but I still feel like those really really hard times even us overcoming cancer I would not wish that upon us or anybody ever , but it actually increased something in us . It broadened us , it made us tougher and I don't know , when I look at people in the Bible , there's a level of toughness .
Speaker 2You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1There was a person that came and said to Jesus he said hey , I want to follow you , but my father's dead . I want to go have a funeral . And Jesus said well , let the dead bury the dead . That's a pretty tough statement to a brother , Like , hey , I know you want to go to the funeral at all , but if you really want to come with me , roll . There were some things that Jesus would say , and it's not because he lacked compassion that he needed toughness around him . And I feel like , in a generation where we're giving out participation awards for participating , you don't get a ribbon for sitting over there losing , you don't get a ribbon for sitting over there losing , you don't get a trophy for that . Will they feel bad ? Yeah , they need to feel bad .
Speaker 2Because that's just a part of life You're going to grow from it .
Speaker 1I need you to feel bad . I need you to feel what it means to lose If you fail a class . I need you to feel what it feels like to go through that again , Because actually the things we're trying to protect that generation from- is the very thing that makes them who they need to be .
Speaker 2I think that's the key right there that you said , because we're saying , well , we don't like burnout , and it's true , but it's not to belittle those who have been burnt out , because really there's a generation of people that just did everything without balance . You know what I mean . They didn't have the podcast to listen to , they didn't have even the science and the research that we have available to us today . So they did , they gave 110% , they lost their health , they maybe lost their businesses , they maybe lost their families and relationships and things because they didn't know the red flags . And so now , out of that pain , you have a generation who raised their children , the next generation , trying to protect them , to say I don't want you to do what I did , I don't want what happened to me to happen to you . And so we then that generation has been raised with the antennas Don't burn out .
Speaker 2Don't burn out like dad did . Don't burn out like mom did . We don't want that to happen , and I get it . But that dad did , don't burn out like mom did . We don't want that to happen , and I get it . But that's like me being a helicopter mom , like you know what I mean . I want to be there so that if my baby don't fall down and skin their knee , but really , when they fall down and skin their knee , but they won't do it again . You know what I mean . Like if they touch that hot thing they'll get burned , but bet they won't do it again . Okay , if they pet the dog and the dog snaps at them , they'll get bit , but they won't do that again . We learn from our mistakes and sometimes our pains . Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1There's a balance . I think my hope is that every here will kind of talk about like just understand that there is a balance .
Speaker 1There's like a yeah , burnout's a real thing , yeah . And if you're in that space right now , we are praying for you , we're here for you . You can't get stuck in that space . If you have never experienced burnout , you don't have to have this fear of burnout . You have been created for hard things . For those who are experiencing burnout , I have a few things , a few pieces of advice . Jump on any of these . Burnout I have a few things , a few pieces of advice . Jump on any of these .
Speaker 1If you're a person who's experiencing burnout , understand that rest is not lazy , it's holy . On the seventh day , god rested . Remember the Sabbath , keep it holy . My advice would be get people around you to help you carry the load . These are the things that you learn . These are the things that will help you avoid burnout .
Speaker 1Exodus 18 , 18 talks about the Jethro principle . Moses is judging all the people . Jethro said this what you're doing by yourself ain't good . You're somebody over a thousand , somebody over a hundred , somebody's over tens . Okay , make small adjustments . Okay , right now . For me I just started instead of watching TV at night , I'm reading before I go to bed , and because I'm reading before I go to bed , now I go to bed earlier , which means I wake up earlier . Because I wake up earlier now , I wake up more refreshed . I'm waking up and I'm drinking water right away . I'm going right into my study time , right into my workout time and all of that those little small adjustments has completely changed the joy and the energy that I have in my day . Just the fact that I'm not going to bed on a screen .
Speaker 1Small adjustments are huge . Get in the gym . Right now , I'm about a month in of working out five days a week , and this is not something that you always . These are how you . How do you avoid burnout ? There's something about your physiology that is so important your breathing , your hydration . You're just moving heavy stuff around in the morning . Just lifting heavy stuff . I mean you're talking about you're releasing certain toxins .
Speaker 1All of these things are ways to get rid of burnout . Help the hurting . Many people are burnout because you are so focused on your problems and your pain . One way to overcome burnout is find people who are going through . Help the hurting . Help the poor . Stay low . Get a compelling future . I think we're going to do a whole podcast about a compelling future . The reason that some people are burnout is because they don't have a future that's brighter than their current situation . Everyone needs a compelling future .
Speaker 1You got to and I want to put these together prioritize , delegate and communicate . You got to and I want to put these together prioritize , delegate and communicate . Let me say it again Prioritize , delegate and communicate . So , like we are very busy people . That means that I have 100 things to do on the things to do list , but I can only get to 10 .
Speaker 1The 90 is where the stressors come . The 90 is where people overdrink and overeat because they're so every single day they're overwhelmed . Successful people always have more things to do than time to do it Every day . You have to reprioritize . You got to say what is the top things that give me the most results . I got a hundred things , but I'm going to pick the top three and I'm going to do that today and I'm going to celebrate .
Speaker 1And then I got to . I got to . I got to delegate , I got to give away those other things , the other 90 things I didn't get to . I got to determine who can handle this and I'm going to give it away to them and I'm going to communicate that . I'm going to communicate up and down . And then sometimes I got to communicate to people hey , I'm just not going to get to that . Probably over the next three months I'm not going to be able to get to that , just want to let you know . And that's one of the ways that you can avoid burnout . You got to discern what's good and what's God . There's a lot of things that are really good but it don't make us God . And then there's some things that was God in the last season , but it's just good in this season .
Speaker 1And you got to say that relationship was beneficial then but it's not beneficial now . That habit that I had was good then but it's not God now . And you got to go to Jesus first and foremost , because I just believe he is the one that refreshes us . Times of refreshing comes in the presence of the Lord and I feel like , if we have the right outlook on how to do life . I hope this helps somebody . Please let us know in the comments . You know this is a community .
Speaker 1Everybody we want you to let us know what do you do to avoid Right now ? Use the comments , if you can , depending upon where you're hearing or watching or listening , If you can , depending upon where you're hearing or watching or listening . If you can use the comments , what do you do to avoid burnout ? Or , better yet , what about these things that I've given you that you're like that's what I need to do , because , really , if you're burnt out , the Holy Spirit is trying to get your attention
. Pivot , adjust , do something different . Don't have that conversation . Get you a private phone . You're checking your social media too much . Take a social media break . You can't do all that by yourself . Hire somebody to cook .
Speaker 2Hire somebody to clean , talk to your boss , tell them you need some help . It's not that hard . I think so . I think one thing that you didn't mention is that we can't do life alone . You can't be just like the lone excuse me , the lone ranger , meaning that you should have other people that are speaking into your lives , whether it's your pastor , whether it's a mentor , a business mentor , whether it's a counselor that you see once a month , a regular person . You need other people helping you to keep the right , healthy perspective , helping you to keep the right , healthy perspective .
Speaker 1Yeah , so good , so good . So I think I want to close with this , and this is like this is worth the whole part . This is the part that you guys got to share . This , okay , I want you to share . Now . God's given us a vision to help reach a million help a million couples around the world , and we're only going to be able to reach them that you share , and this is the kind of podcast that you want to share Family members , co-workers , other people that are experiencing burnout , have notes , have small groups , have conversations about it . But I want to stop with five keys to overcoming fear and burnout . Okay , just five keys , simple keys to overcoming the fear of burnout . Number one you got to get other successful people in your life that have good fruit and be hot with them when .
Speaker 1I say hot , I mean honest , open and transparent . Yeah , okay . So one of the keys to overcoming the fear of burnout is mentorship . Mentorship is the is the greatest shortcut . I would say it's the only shortcut to success . People are looking for hacks , they're looking for shortcuts . Find somebody who is where you want to go and be hot . Be saying this is where I am . Speak into that .
Speaker 2Yeah , and different people like I learn if you show me something I can learn from that . I remember a long time ago when we first got into church . We were young in our marriage . We joined a church and they're still our pastors today , but we went to church and they were a—thank you , baby—they were a married couple that were attractive , successful , anointed , had a beautiful family . Now that was a picture of me like wow , I like them , I like the results that they have in life . I can model myself after them , not try to be them , but it was a model for me to follow and I mean it helped me tremendously . And I still have people in my life like that today that I'm like okay , you're showing me a picture of where I want your capacity and commit to grow it Identify your capacity and commit to grow it .
Speaker 1You cannot grow a capacity that you have not first located . So if you're here , you need to know that you're here and then set sail for where you want to go .
Speaker 2I think that's really good and I think each person has different capacities , Like you and I are very different , you know , and the same but different , and so we handle things differently . You have a capacity for , let's say , business and ministry . That's different than my capacity . I have a capacity for , let's say , domestic things , taking care of the kids , the house , cooking and stuff . That's different than your capacity . And also in different seasons of our life , our capacities are different as well . So when my children , our children , were younger , I had more of a capacity for them and less of a capacity for ministry . You know when , just certain times in ministry , you know I had different capacities for different things . And I think that goes along with what you said just identifying where we are right now and how much of a bowl you have to fill for the season that you're in .
Speaker 1Okay , that's good . Number three is this overcoming the fear of burnout . Number three differentiate from things . That is actual burnout versus I'm just scared to work hard , to do hard things , and I can't call that for you . You got to be honest with yourself , and some of us are scared to do hard things . Think about certainholds and do the hard work of consistently getting up in the morning . They're scared to do the hard work of the heart . The heart work like going in for therapy . They don't . They don't want to do that hard work . It's too uncomfortable , and so you got to differentiate what's actual burnout versus what . You just don't want to work hard .
Speaker 1You just don't want to do that . It's just too much for you and you got to make a choice that I'm going to step into hard things .
Speaker 2Absolutely . You know , again , you need to be accountable to someone . If you can't , you know , have give someone else permission to step to you and say look , friend , I think you need to step up a little bit .
Speaker 1I think we should do a whole podcast of why people don't like people stepping to them . Like I need coaches in my life .
Speaker 2I want to be coached , certain people , certain people Listen .
Speaker 1I want to be coached hard too . I don't need no . Nancy Pamsey coach . Right , I'm saying like oh , he got to walk around my feelings and oh my God , he can't say it . And if they said it , they said it with the wrong tone . A lot of people can't be mentored because they're too insecure , and one of the most dangerous combinations is pride and insecurity , and when I see pride and insecurity in a person , I know that there's real strongholds there .
Speaker 1A lot of people are not humble enough to really be mentored . But then if you try to mentor , they're too insecure and every correction is like a hammer . Yeah , it's actually supposed to be building .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1And it doesn . And it's not about what was said , it's how they perceived what was said through their own insecurities . I got to move on . Number four is develop an I can mentality . This is huge for me right now . I know you have that . You just feel like if it's in my life , I can handle it Absolutely I can take it . I can overcome Philippians . 4.13 is like my springboard . That's in my spirit right now and it's a principle I can do all things through Christ , who strengthens me .
Speaker 1It doesn't mean I can go , jump off a building and fly . If it's in my life , I can do all things . Through Christ , through the anointing of God , I can break every cycle , I can build that business , I can build that ministry . I can forgive that person . If it's in my life , I can handle it .
Speaker 2I can't .
Speaker 1You got to determine do you want to be an I can't person or an I can ? Now , for those of you all who are married people and you're in a marriage and you feel like it can't be better , that's the wrong mentality . We can't , we won't ever be able to get it together . I can't love him again . I can't love her again , I can't . That's the all things . I don't care . If you got to look at yourself in the mirror every single day . You got to change your neural pathways . I can do all things through Christ I can do . If it's in my life , I can take it . And number five is you got to break up with fear . Fear is not your friend and many people are walking by the fear of burnout . And I got faith in his grace .
Speaker 1That's right and that's a choice . You're going to have the fear of burnout and it's not minimizing burnout saying that it's not a real thing , because it is Physically , emotionally and spiritually it is a real thing , but it is not a place that I'm going to live my life , passing up opportunities , carrying my cross because I have a fear when I've been called to walk by faith . Walk by faith and not by fear , any closing words on that .
Speaker 2No , I love that . I love that . I love that I can , I love that Walk by faith and not by sight .
Speaker 1I'm ready , I feel like I went to another level . Good , I'm glad you did .
Speaker 2We hope you guys did as well .
We're out of time for today but , man , we enjoy being with you , as always . Of course , this is Doing Life with Ken and Tabitha , and that's all we want to do . We want to do life with you guys . We are building an online community . We're not perfect . We know a thing or two simply because we've seen a thing or two . We've been married for 25 years . We've had ups and downs , successes and failures , and we want to share with you all of those ups and downs , and you know what we want to hear from you . Could you just take a moment , drop a comment , leave us a review In your review , just share your story of how this podcast .
Speaker 1We meet people in airport and restaurants , everywhere that tell us about how this podcast is a blessing to them and that's a blessing to us . But one of the most important things you could do is just share , just share , just share . Just right now , text this to somebody , email it off . God's given us a vision to help reach a million couples around the world , and you know , right now , my focus is this we want to double our impact . We want to double the amount of people that we're reaching , and we know that we can do that when you get excited and you share as well . If you're new to our podcast , make sure that you hit the icon or the subscribe button if you're on YouTube , or just hit the download button if you're listening via some other medium . We want you to be the first to get the content when it's released . We release something new every Thursday at 3 pm Eastern Standard Time . Also , if you would like to check out , we got some new books , we got some merch . We have some tools that we really believe will bring great value to your life .
Speaker 1We've gotten to a rhythm now where we're releasing just great content . We want you to jump over to our website , just browse through and see if there's anything there that you feel like would be a blessing to you , and God knows if you're ever in the Florida , in the state of Florida , we got campuses in Orlando , tampa , gainesville , florida . Come visit us on a Sunday , but if you wanna know the best time to come , it would be to a live conference . That happens the first Sunday or the first week now in November , and you can jump over to our website . Tickets go fast . This is an encounter conference , okay , where you will encounter God . We believe those three days could change the next 30 years of your life . Just know that we love you , praying for you , we're here for you . We'll see you next Thursday , peace .