Civic Spaces and Women in Leadership | The Hidden Access Most Miss

Most women think the rooms where decisions get made—city councils, nonprofit boards, congressional offices—aren't for them.

In this episode of Well Lived Society, Lemon Price proves that assumption wrong. At 25 with no lobbying background, she's building real influence in civic spaces. Discover the hidden access to leadership platforms most women leaders don't know they have, and how to leverage them to build your legacy.

In this episode:

• Why the rooms where influential women are more accessible than you think
• The three-layer entry strategy: observe, prepare, connect
• What multidimensional preparation actually looks like before you walk in
• Who really holds power in local government (hint: it's probably not who you think)
• How to follow up in a way that sets you apart from everyone else
• The mistakes that will get you dismissed — even if your ideas are good
• How to signal you're ready for a seat at the table before anyone asks

This episode ends with one simple action step that costs nothing but could change everything about how you show up in your community.

Next week: The art of hosting as a leadership skill and why the standards you set at your table are the same ones that make people want to follow you outside of it.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I want to tell you something that I think is going to reframe the way you see your own potential. I have sat in rooms with congressmen. I have had conversations that have contributed to federal legislation. I've served on nonprofit boards. I've shown up to city council meetings, and I've built relationships with people that most women assume are completely out of reach. And I want to be honest with you about how it happened. Welcome back to the Well Lived Society. I am your host, Lemon Price. And today I want to talk about how you get to be in these spaces. How do you get into civic spaces that most people don't know about and then leave a really big impression? I want to be really clear here. I did not make an impact because I had the right credentials. It was not because somebody handed me some invitation on a silver platter. It was not because I grew up knowing the right people or I went to the right schools or I had some kind of name that opened doors. It was literally just because I showed up. And that's it. And today I'm going to show you exactly how to do the very same thing that I did. So last week we talked a lot about your reputation and how the women who get nominated for things they didn't apply for are simply the ones who just show up consistently as someone worth putting in the room where decisions happen. But here's the follow-up question: nobody will ask you what rooms are actually available to you. Because I think most women are operating inside of a much smaller world than they need to be. And it's not because the door is locked, but it's because nobody told you that the door even existed.

unknown 1:46

Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:47

City council meetings are open to the public. Nonprofit boards are actively looking for engaged and capable people. Congressional offices take meetings. Community organizations need leaders. University boards need student voices. It is not some like exclusive boys club. It just looks like it from the outside. And the women who are in them, most of them got there the same way I did. They just decided to walk through the doors. So I want to tell you about Ryan Costello. So in 2016, I was part of the Borgan project and was doing advocacy work, and I was like a low-level volunteer intern. Okay. It was my first official 4L. I did work on a congressional campaign. Let me back up. I worked on um Corey Booker's campaign in college. So like 2013. I worked on Corey Booker's campaign when he was first running for Senate. So I did a lot of grassroots stuff that way. Um, but in 2016, it was like my first like, I'm gonna go do some advocacy work. And I worked with a Borgan project. And so they had legislation. They wanted to be passed. If you're a part of a nonprofit, you should be involved in advocacy work. I just want to put that out there. That should be something you're doing. So I met up with then Congressman Ryan Costello. I don't want to be clear, like, I wasn't a lobbyist. I didn't have a poly sci degree. I was not someone with an impressive title and a business card. I was like 25 years old. What I did have was preparation and presence. I knew the issue. I knew the legislation that we were trying to move. I knew what we were asking for and why it mattered. And so I walked into that meeting, not trying to perform expertise that I didn't have, but genuinely engaging with the problem and with the person in front of me. And that meeting led to him co-sponsoring the Global Food Security Act in 2016, which passed in both the House and the Senate. Um, and then that act was actually just renewed in 2022 and carries through until 2028, which I'm gonna hope they renew again. It's something I'm really proud of. And I like to think about that, honestly, a lot. How legislation that affects how the United States addresses global hunger, which is really funny because I'm writing a paper right now on food insecurity and food deserts. Apparently, this has been a theme for me for a decade. But part of the reason that legislation legislation passed is because of a conversation that happened just because I walked into a meeting prepared and approachable. I wasn't perfect, I was not politically connected. I was literally just prepared and present. Here's the thing: I was in a completely different state. I was not in the state I grew up in. I literally did not know anybody. If I had been back in New Jersey, guess what? I know I know Senator Van Drew. I know him. Um I interviewed him when I worked for the paper. That's how I got my first like taste of city council meetings. That was my beat. Um, my very first assignment with the newspaper, it was at the Cape May County Herald, was to cover election night on at Republican headquarters. And I had to live tweet it and doing the whole thing. And it was great. It was super great. Um, so I've always been kind of in that space, unintention unintentionally so. It was just where I happened to be assigned. And so I moved to an entirely different state where I had no connections, I had I had nothing. I was just prepared and present. And that's what access actually looks like. And I want that for you. So I want to break down the layers because that's genuinely how it works. Right? You just don't go from zero to congressional meeting overnight, but we we build up in stages, and each stage, I promise, will prepare you for the next. So the first thing I want you to do is to go to public meetings and just go. City council meetings, school board sessions, county commissioner meetings, planning and zoning hearings. Those are hot. If you go to a planning and zoning meeting, they are hot. People are intense about planning and zoning. Okay, you should go to those. They're all open to the public, and most people never set foot in one. For the first one, go and watch. Just sit and watch. Look at who speaks, notice how the room is structured, notice who has formal authority and who actually has influence, right? Because those are oftentimes not the same person. Notice the tone, notice the process, the culture of the room. Like the goal there is not to impress anyone. You're there to learn the language of the space. Because I promise you right now, every civic room has its own language. And if you walk in trying to speak before you've learned it, you're going to look like an outsider immediately. So go once, go twice, go until you feel like you understand the process. And then I want you to come back into the room with something specific in mind. Do your homework. Look at the agenda. I promise, especially if you're going to anything public like that, city council, board meetings, commissioner meetings, planning and zoning, the agenda is posted ahead of time. I want to be clear about what preparation means because I think it's multidimensional. So I mentioned you have to know the agenda. What are they actually discussing this week? What decisions are on the table and what issues are ongoing? I want you to know that because if you walk in with something completely off agenda, it's it's going to get pushed on the that's not why they're there. It's not why they're there. Now, you can you know you can put something on the agenda, especially for planning and zoning. I know in my town, you can literally put an application in for something to get on the planning meeting. You can have a conversation with my city hall about something that needs to be on the agenda. So you can do that. You can you just call and have a conversation. Preparation also means knowing the people. Who are the key players? Do you know your county commissioner? Do you know who your city manager is? Do you know who your county manager is? Right? What are their priorities? What have they been vocal about? What do they care about? I promise you a quick Google search, a look at meeting minutes, a scan of local news. It is all available to you and you will know. It also means understanding who holds the real influence versus who holds a title. In almost every civic body, there is someone whose opinion shapes the room, even when they're not the one running the meeting. So find that person, understand them, and watch how others respond to them. Here's like a little fun fact about local government. If you are in a council manager type of, or like a manager council, council manager, council manager structure of government, which a lot of local municipalities are, then your mayor probably actually has no power other than the ability to break a tie. That's just a fact. You know who does have power? Your city council and your city manager. Those who those are the people with influence. Same thing with the county. The county commissioner's office actually like they don't have as much power as you think they do. So go and learn who has a title and who actually makes a difference, who's actually calling the shots here. Coming prepared also means that you know what you think. Not just what the issue is, but where you stand and why. Because when you do get the opportunity to speak, and you will, I promise, you want to say something that's worth saying. Then I want you to introduce yourself to someone before a meeting starts and after it ends in the hallway over an email before you even show up in person, right? Just one intentional introduction. That's it. Right? Not a pitch, not a resume, genuine human connection and be nice. I live in a small, I live in a I live in a small town, I guess. Okay, where my actual town is small, but my county is not that big now. Where the college is and the city, like they're growing rapid fire, but even then, like the mayor can't go out. The and we literally we have like one nice restaurant in town. Okay. Mayor can't go out. The planning director can't go out without being harassed. Okay. They people people will corner them in the grocery store. I was talking to the planning director, and he's like, I literally do not go um grocery shopping a lot anymore because people just harass me when I'm with my wife and children. The economic developer um CEO for my county said that one time somebody rewrote the words to the devil went down to Georgia and made it about our economic developer. So people are not very nice. So if you're gonna connect with them, please be nice. Just say, like, hi, I've been following this issue, and I really appreciated what you said in the meeting about it. Right? That's it. You don't ask them for anything, you're just becoming a real person to someone who didn't know you exist. That's all. That's how the room opens. Not through grand gestures, not perfectly crafted elevator pitches. It is small, repeated, genuine interactions that accumulate into a relationship. And I've built relationships with really influential people this way. And almost every single one of them started with something that simple. Now, let's talk about the next level because observing and building relationships is great, but eventually you want to be in the room as a participant, not just an audience member. Here's what a lot of people I don't think know is that people with influence are almost always looking for capable, reliable, engaged people to bring into their work. Nonprofit boards typically have open seats. Advisory committees need members. See if your county has an advisory committee or a task force or something like that that you could be a part of. I know my county has multiple boards, multiple, that exist outside of city council to provide community insight on issues. The question is whether you're someone they think of when the opportunity arises. And then that goes back to everything we talked about last week. It's reputation, it's consistency, it's showing up as somebody worth. There are, let me tell you, very specific things you can do to signal that you're ready for a seat. So first volunteer before you ask. Before anybody even asks of you, volunteer. If a committee is working on something that you care about, offer to help with a specific task. Not let me know if there's anything I can do because then that put works on that work on them. Right? Then they're you've just added to their mental load. But you could say, I've experienced an X and I'd love to help with Y if that would be useful. Specific, low lift for them, high signal for you. Then I want you to follow up after a meaningful interaction, a short email, a handwritten note, a thoughtful response to something they posted. The follow-up is where most people will drop the ball. I think it is one of the easiest ways to differentiate yourself. It says, I took it seriously, I remembered, and I valued the conversation enough to continue it. And then I want you to be someone who makes the room easier, not harder. And I know this sounds really simple, but it's really profound. The people who get invited back, who get appointed, who get nominated, they tend to be people who contribute without creating drama. You know how to disagree with grace, right? People who do what they say they're gonna do. And here is the thing: you do not want to be the person who comes in antagonistic. You can disagree with the decision, but you can do it tactfully. I'm telling you right now, and when you start going to these meetings, you will see that there are people who make it harder to function. Do not be that person. Be the person who makes it a little bit easier, even if you disagree. Even if you disagree. You can do it with tact, you can do it with grace. That is okay. Nobody's expecting you to agree 110% with what your city council is doing, but you can do it respectfully. Now, there are mistakes I see people make when they're trying to get into the spaces because let's be honest, we've all done it. One, do not walk in with an agenda before you've built any credibility. If you show up to your first city council meeting ready to overhaul everything, you're going to get dismissed, even if your ideas are good. You sort of have to earn the right to be heard and have influence in that space. I have learned so much going through my MPA program about government and limitations on it and things you can do and things you can't do and how it really works. And I mean, there's just so many things that I have thought about differently being around people doing the job. Then I don't want you to name drop before you've done anything worth noting. Like, we're not gonna be like, I know so-and-so without substance to back it up, right? Because we just we need to be a little bit better about that. I don't want you to confuse access with influence. Getting into the room is step one, but actually having impact takes time, relationship, and a track record. So be patient with the process and do not underestimate how much your presence alone communicates, how you dress, how you sit, how you listen, whether you put your phone away, whether you make eye contact. Are you taking notes on what is being said? I bring my iPad to things like this so I can sit and take notes on like what is happening in the room because I'm interested. Not because I have my journalist hat on anymore, but because I want to reflect. Here's all of it is data that people in the room are collecting about you, whether they realize it or not. So here's the thing I want you to really like understand about this. The decisions that affect your community, your schools, your roads, your local economy, the programs that serve your neighbors are being made in rooms that you are allowed to be in. And most of these rooms have empty seats. And not because people aren't invited, but because most people assume it is not for them. They assume you need a certain background, a certain title, a certain level of, you know, influence or importance before you can shop and have a voice. And you don't. What you need is preparation, what you need is presence, the willingness to listen more than you speak, and the patience to build a relationship over time rather than shortcutting your way to influence. I was a woman who walked into a congressional meeting without a lobbying firm behind me and contributed to a piece of federal legislation that has been on the books now for 10 years. And not because I was special, but because I was prepared and I was there and you can too. Next week, we're gonna shift gears a little bit. I want to talk about something I touched on an episode, like, you know, whatever, a couple episodes ago. We're gonna talk about the art of hosting as a leadership skill, how the standards you set in your home, your table, and the spaces you create are the same standards that make you someone people want to follow outside of it. But this week, I want you to do one thing for me. I want you to find one public meeting in your city or county, look up when it's happening, put it on your calendar, and just go. Don't worry about what to say. Don't worry about whether you belong there. I literally want you to just go and watch. That's how it all starts. If you loved this episode, please be sure to share it with your friends, your family, your neighbors, whoever, and leave a review on Apple or Spotify wherever you're listening. I would appreciate it. The algorithm would appreciate it. So I will see you next week. Welcome to the Well Live Society.