Be Pursued: 3 Feminine Energy Shifts That Work Better Than Reminders

Be Pursued: 3 Feminine Energy shifts that work better than reminders. If you feel like the manager at home and want your husband to take the lead again, this episode breaks down exactly how to stop nagging and invite pursuit—without games. You’ll learn Pause & Pass (invitation over instruction), the Low-Stakes Handover (one weekly rhythm he owns), and Respect Signals (admire, let him fix it his way, close the loop with touch). Designed for high-achieving, faith-friendly wives who want partnership, not perfection. Real scripts. Zero husband-bashing. Tangible wins.

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Enjoy the episode, everyone!

How can you be part of the movement to equip women?
1. Share the podcast!
2. Leave a 5-star review!

Thanks for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share this in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I want you to do a quick gut check. Are you carrying the plan for everything while just kind of wishing that your husband would take the lead and really pursue you again? If you feel like the manager at home and you know, like maybe that magnetism has kind of faded in your marriage, then you're in the right space. So today I want to talk about some feminine energy tips that could work better than nagging, because we both know nagging doesn't work very well. So that you can really start to relax, really feel pursued, and have that spark back again. So don't mind me, we're recording in my room today. I did not want to change my location today. And so just know, welcome to my bedroom. You get to hang out in my bedroom today. So I want you to know also that what I'm talking about today really resonates. Then I have another case study group opening up for the Supported Wife Society, and I'll talk about how that might resonate with you throughout the episode. But I really think that if this episode resonates, you would like the society. So this show really is for high-achieving women, right? Women who are running businesses, they are in the C-suite, they, you know, like they or they have ambition. Like maybe you're in the PTA, you're volunteering in your community in some way, shape, or form. Like you uh kind of, you know, you love your husband. Obviously, you wouldn't be here, and you're really looking for partnership, not perfection, right? I want you to know, like in this community, like we really do honor our husbands here regardless of what's going on. So I'm not a big fan of husband bashing. I always say respect is foreplay. So just know that like that's not the vibe here. And so I'm gonna talk about how we're gonna do this and we're gonna shift our dynamic in three very simple ways. So the first way we're gonna do it is something that I call like a pause and pass, right? So I want you to be invitational, not managerial. And so the idea here is to create a small quiet gap so that your husband has space to act first. And so what makes it more feminine, right, is it's receptive. That doesn't mean it's passive, though. I don't want you to think, oh, I'm suddenly asking you to become a passive person, I'm not. When you instantly jump in to answer or to fix or to remind, you actually unintentionally close the window where your husband could show up and lead. And so I think that pursuit needs oxygen. I think leadership needs oxygen, and so pausing gives it oxygen. So when you completely pause, when you completely don't jump in to solve the problem, if your husband, you know, asks you a question that he could easily solve or remember or handle on his own, do not immediately rush in to solve it for him. Because if there's no space for him to lead, if you're not giving him the space to lead, then he's not gonna lead. And you might be sitting here, well, Levin, I want him to, you know, I want my husband to lead. I want him to be stronger and lead over me. Here's the thing, this is so crazy. I've talked to actually a lot of men on my TikTok lately, and we've been having this conversation about leadership and kind of where they're at. And everyone that I've talked to, they're like, I feel like when I step up, I'm the bad guy, you know, my wife gets mad, she criticized me, whatever it is. And I'm not saying their husbands are doing things perfectly. I'm sure, like, I mean, none of us are perfect, none of us are Jesus. But they're like, every time I try to step up, every time I try to lead, she gets mad at me. And then it's like a whole fight. And so he's like it's just easier for her to be mad at me for not helping than for her to be mad at me for helping. And so they don't take initiative because they don't have the space or it's not even a safe space for them to take initiative. So, like, how are you gonna do this week? Because I want you to do things this week. So you're gonna do a micro pause. So when a decision pops up, I want you to just silently count to five or ten if you need it, and then I want you to like pass the moment with some warmth, right? So turn your shoulders for him, maybe soften your voice. Let's not be like hostile about it. Make real eye contact with him and then pass it off to him, right? So, would you be willing to handle dinner plans for Friday? Great. Or something I love to say, like I tell my husband this all the time, I trust your golf. What do you think is best? What do you want to do? I genuinely want to know. I genuinely trust his leadership. So, what do you want to do? Or I would love for you to handle this thing. Can you just loot me in after? Easy. It could be so easy. It doesn't have to be all on you. What I don't want you to do is say, Well, could you please just do blah blah blah? I've asked you a hundred times. No. Or this one I hear all the time. Never mind, I'll do it. Never mind, I'll do it. How many times have you asked your husband, like, oh, can you, I don't know, vacuum the living room for me? Can you take the trash out? Can you do whatever? And he doesn't do it immediately on your timeline. So then you're just like frustrated and you're like, never mind, I'll do it myself. Never mind, I'll do it. All that's doing is creating tension in your marriage. That's all you're doing is breeding tension. I have said that, I said this last week. I'm gonna say it again, and I will probably keep repeating it until the cows come home. Taking out the trash, cutting the grass, mowing, like vacuuming your house. I mean, none of those things are life and death situations ever. That like none of them are a life or death situation. So we really need to stop treating them like they're an emergency and giving them the same sort of energy and frustration. Oh my gosh, you didn't take the trash out when I immediately asked you. You didn't jump from your seat and take the trash out. Therefore, I'm gonna be frustrated. Don't do that. There's no need to. There's just no need to. It is not life or death, it does not require a call to emergency personnel. So therefore, it is not an actual emergency. Okay. It's okay if he asks a clarifying question or if he starts problem solving without you. I want you to celebrate it aloud. Okay. Here's the thing when you actually pause, when you create space for him to lead, you're also creating space for him to. And so I want to make it a safe place where you actually get to practice that. And so the next thing that we do, and I teach this in the Support Wife Society, is the low stakes handover. So it's one recurring thing that you're gonna do every kind of week. And so the idea here is that we're gonna hand off one repeatable rhythm so that leadership becomes muscle memory. So I want you to pick something. I don't care what it is, I want you to pick something that recurs. So it could be Friday night dinner, it could be the Saturday sports schedule, it could be, it could be the trash bill, the electric bill, the water bill, bedtime routine. It pick something, okay? And then you're literally just gonna take a couple of seconds and hand it over. So I would love it actually if you handled dinner every Friday. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy. And guess what? If he makes frozen pizza, who cares? If he does Velveeta mac and cheese, who cares? He picks up a pizza on the way out, who cares? It literally doesn't matter. Okay? I want you to think about what done means. Done means that it was complete, the project is complete. It doesn't mean it was done the way that you asked it to be done. It doesn't mean that it's done the way you would get it done. Okay? If dinner is handled, if that's a thing you're passing off and dinner gets handled, then it's done. Take out or home cooked is fine. It literally does not matter. Okay. And so I want you to really step back. Don't force yourself to micromanage. Like you're not gonna monitor, you're gonna just be delighted with whatever the choice is. Whatever the choice is, he's taking something off of your plate. He is taking something out of your mental load. Okay, and that is we're celebrating. And so we're not gonna mid-task coach, right? If it's something like really urgent, I mean you can ask a question, but I don't want you to direct it. If it's like really like a clarity question, you can ask a clarity question, but I don't want you to ask a clarity question with the tone of I'm interrogating you and I'm making you feel like you're doing something wrong. That it's not what we're doing. Okay. And then I want you to ask, like, you know, was that easy for you? Do you need, you know, what do you need for me next time? Anything you want me to do next time. I want you to figure out, like, because here's the thing. Here's the thing. And I teach this in the supportive wife society, but you can hand over things also that he hates doing. If you both hate it, then one of you has to suck it up. But like, I know my husband hates, he hates managing the finances. It doesn't bring him joy, it stresses him out. Like, he's not a math person. I love math. Math wasn't my best subject in school. I probably should have secretly been a math teacher or something. I love math. I like math because it's easy, it's black and white, the numbers are what they are, like it just is what it is. But I love math. And so I like looking at the budget, I like knowing where things are, I like knowing what we can spend and the parameters to make me feel safe. My husband hates it. If I was going to do a low-stakes handover and hand him some bills, my husband would panic. He hates it. Could he do it? Sure. But he hates it. I like doing it, so I'm gonna keep it. Where I personally really don't enjoy doing anything with our vehicles. I don't do it. Literally, the most I did, I'll tell you, it's Friday when I'm recording. That's also why we're in my bedroom. But like the biggest thing I did today, I didn't get a new back window for the truck because one of the kids, like dirt bike, mini-bike, whatever you want to call it, went through the back window one time when we were taking them. And it was so hard to get glass and get things done. So anyway, so I was like, I'll take it. But I made him set up the entire appointment. It was under his phone number. They called him yesterday to confirm the appointment. They called him this morning when stuff was done. I literally just had to go drop off keys and then pick the keys back up. I didn't do anything else. That's a him thing, it's not a me thing. I wasn't worried about it. It was his credit card, like he handled the whole thing. All I had to do is drive there, drop the keys off, and then pick it back up. That was it. Okay, so I really want you to figure out what you guys both enjoy. And again, that's something I teach in the supported wife society, so that you're not handing off things that like is going to make your whole household crash and burn, or he's gonna become resentful. And I really want you to thank him for handling it. So thank you so much for taking off my plate. Like, I felt so relaxed tonight. I was able to unwind. Glenn and I did a live Thursday night. We were talking about it, and it was so sweet. I'll find I might be able to pull the clip. But my husband was so sweet. He said, I know that his job, you know, he's in like a blue-collar field, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not like a thinking job, like he's not sitting here thinking a lot. And he's, I know my wife, because she runs a business. Like, she's thinking about 900 things at one time. She is worried about funnels. She's he's like, she's constantly switching her brain, right? She's going from like financial projections to social media to you know, scheduling this email, recording content. Like, she's got to switch between like her left brain and her right brain constantly to run a business. And so he's it's my job when I come home to alleviate some of that. So if I can make center for her, great. If I can take care of the kids and like she's not thinking about it, great. Anything I can do to just alleviate something for her, that's what I want to do. And so I want you to acknowledge, and it just made me so warm because I know he does it even last night. Like he brought me home something that I ran out of that I love, and I didn't even say anything to him. He noticed I was out, went and picked it up, and replenished it without me even asking about it. And I was so appreciative and so grateful for that. And so I want you to do that with your spouse too. Like when he takes over something, let him know. Like it made me feel so taken care of. I feel so seen. Like it helped me to really relax and unwind. And so I really want you to just look at how your dynamic shifts when you do those things. Okay. And so inside of the supportive wife society, this is something we do on a regular basis. Like, you're getting a monthly script vault to help you figure out how to make these transitions without it being like a panic, or to have your husband get on the defensive or you feel unheard and stuff. We do a date night drop. So, like the handover stick. And so if you want the words and the rhythm, you want the support, like just shoot me a message on Instagram and be like, hey, I would love to check this out, or go to lemonprice.co and you can kind of see what we're doing. Okay, so the third thing you're gonna do is you're going to send respect signals that turn on pursuit. So this is gonna sound so crazy. Men chase where they feel respected. So your cues can actually switch pursuit back on. I know that sounds crazy, but here's like the three signals I want you to look at. So again, admiration in the moment. So I love watching you figuring things out. You look so decisive talking to that contractor. I like tell Glenn the other day, okay, last weekend we ripped up, I ripped up all of our landscaping. Like Friday night, I was like, I hate all the landscaping, I want it all gone. And I ripped all of it out in our front yard. And so Glenn picked up a new head strimmer and he like trimmed like everything down. He like trimmed the magnolia tree, like he did all these things, and I just stood back and like admired him for like solid 10 minutes. And the youngest was so funny. He's I think you only hit on dad when I'm around. I'm like, that's not true. I hit on your dad constantly. But I was just like looking at him. I was like, dang, I was like, I am like so in love with you. I love the way you're like handling this. I love the pride you have in our home. I love the way you're like, I just was like hyping him up because I really was like so grateful. And also, I'm sorry, but it was so sexy. I don't know what it was. The pants my husband was wearing too. I'm like, his butt look real good, like and he had his hat on backwards. So if you're a guy listening to this, I don't know, stick a baseball hat on backwards and see what happens. I feel like your wife will go feral. I do. I feel like most people do. And so I was just like, dang, I was like, I'm like so attracted to you right now because of the things that you're doing. Like, I am so attracted to you, not because you're doing something super attractive, but it was in the way you were doing it. It's the pride that you have in our home and our family and all those things. And so that level of respect, guess what, goes a long way. I'm just gonna say it goes a real long way. And so let your husband fix a problem his way. And so I want you to replace critique with curiosity. So, like you could say, walk me through how you tackle this. I promise you, he will give you an answer. And then I want you to close the loop kind of physically. So touch his, you know, shoulder when you say thank you, a quick kiss when he takes initiative. Desire follows honor and respect. And so when you are just like a quick little thing, it doesn't have to be like you don't have to like full-blown make out every time he does something. Oh my god, like just a light little touch hey, like I see you, I appreciate you. I did the same thing to Glenn last week. I waited until the hedge trimmer was off and the chainsaw was off, so I didn't die. But it's just like dang, like I'm so appreciative of you. Like, here's a quick little guess. Bye. I'm gonna go back to digging up these rose bushes. So here's some things that kind of creep up when you start to do this is redoing his work after he does it. When I think about this, I think about people who like reload the dishwasher for what? What is the purpose? There is no purpose, don't do that. Or they do some jokes that will be little. I cannot stand jokes that be little. I don't think they're okay. They respect definitely out in public. I hate when people make jokes at their partner's expense in public. If you're really confused about something, replace it with a private ask later. Don't make a joke about it in public. What's really cool is I'm seeing women do this now inside of the community. They're starting to hand things off, and it's kind of wild, actually. One person we were talking, and she's like, When I started writing down everything, I was thinking, no wonder there was tension in our marriage. I was holding on to so much. And she's like, when I wrote it down, my chest literally started to feel tight until I started to have conversations. Guess what? They're having date nights now. They're having date nights again. It's so exciting. So, a quick recap: things you're gonna do to invite pursuit back into your marriage, okay? Invitation over instruction. We are going to start pausing. We are going to let him handle things, okay? And again, tip number two, we're gonna do a little stakes handover every week. Something simple that he can take over. You're not gonna coach him, and I want you to praise whatever he's doing, whatever the attempt is, praise it. Tip number three is respect signals. So admire, let him fix and then add some touch to it. Okay. So if you're done trying to carry it all and I'm you're ready to be pursued. You're like, Lemon, I need to be pursued. Then I really want to invite you to join the Supportive Wife Society. So you get access for 12 straight months, which is really exciting. We do live QA calls every week. There's a community there, there is a ton of training, but I'm telling you right now, so it's October. If you join right now, you'll have a different marriage by Christmas. So if you're like Lemon, I could use this, so shoot me a message on Instagram or go to lemonprice.co and you will see it there. But really, just send me a message on Instagram. Let's have a conversation. And then if this episode helped you, if you're like, okay, I'm gonna start like flipping my dynamic, please share it with a friend and leave a review. It's gonna help other people find us. So I hope you have an incredible week. I will see you all next time.