Welcome to Episode 27 - "My Year Long Hero's Journey"
My family and I have just returned to our home country of New Zealand after a year in Brisbane, Australia.
While only a 3 hour flight from NZ, it was quite the adventure as it was a place that we didn't really know anyone, or have family support.
As a result there was a lot of time where it was just the 4 of us, & we had some fantastic highs, but also some traumatic moments too...
The year away was very bonding for us as a family, & it was perfect to have that relationship strengthening time as both my kids enter adolesence.
I loved the tropical climate, & living in a much bigger city, & all the benefits that came with that - but my husband never really settled, missing our network of family and friends back in NZ.
He was pretty keen for us to return home pretty early on, especially when he found his job didn't meet his expectations.
I wanted to stay - at least for another year, so he stuck his job out until the end of the year, then applied for three others. One back in NZ and two where we lived in Brisbane. He was offered the job back in NZ very quickly, but then we had to wait a painstakingly long time over Christmas and New Year's to hear back from the other two, ultimately resulting in a "No" from both.
Its difficult in a relationship when you both want different things, but this result made it a lot simpler. The work opportunity was back in NZ, so we felt like the Universe had made it clear to us where we needed to be.
By this time, we had two weeks lease left on the house we were living in, & nearly the beginning of the school year in NZ, so we booked flights and had a whirlwind two weeks making arrangments to ship our furniture, pack up our house, organise our cat to return to NZ, pull the kids out of their schools, resign from jobs and say goodbye to our friends! ( Not to mention sell our car, which happened only a FEW HOURS before we flew out! )
While I thought we would be away a lot longer, the whole adventure was a year, & when I look back, it really was the classic hero's journey cycle for all 4 of us.
We answered the call whispering in our hearts, & set off full of enthusiasm & excitement. There were highs, there were lows, & at the very end, especially in the last few days before our flight, we were under the pump, & had a multitude of dragons to slay, & fires to put out, before we returned home victorious - wiser & more evolved than we were a year earlier (though battered, bruised and exhausted from the sheer effort of packing up our entire house and lives within 2 weeks!)
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Hi, it's Lydia Gillman and welcome to the Stepping Into Purpose podcast. I've had a break for a few weeks because as many of you know, we've just relocated from Brisbane, Australia, back to our home country, New Zealand.
And the decision to come back was made only about a month ago. And then we had two weeks just to pack up our house, pack up our lives. Pulled the kids out of school there and relocate back to New Zealand when my husband got a job here. And it was a lot. It was really intense, to pack up a house that fast.
It was too fast, really. But we did it and We're back in New Zealand now, we're staying with my in laws in Christchurch, while we've still got tenants in our home and they'll be there for a few more months. So we're here with my in laws, which is perfect. They live on a beautiful lifestyle block farm with [00:01:00] horses and yeah, we're so blessed to be here.
They're so welcoming and so generous. And it's a huge home. So we've sort of been received with open arms coming back to Christchurch. And while it wasn't my preference, I made it quite clear. I think that I loved it where we were in Brisbane in a really tropical environment. And it's a city I really, really like.
My husband never settled there And he wasn't really happy there. So when the opportunity to come back, arose, we decided to do it. And really, the universe was quite clear that this is where we needed to come now. My husband wasn't happy in his job. And at the end of last year, he applied for three other ones.
One here in Christchurch and two in Brisbane. And he got the offer for the job in Christchurch very quickly with offers to pay for relocation costs and things. We were waiting and waiting over Christmas and New Year's and then received the news that no, he didn't get either of those two jobs in Brisbane.
So really, it was a no-brainer and the kids were both quite happy to come back as well. It's really lovely to be with grandparents here. As much as I loved the city in Australia where we lived, we didn't really have any family support or many friends. We made friends, but you know, it's not the same as having your network of friends and family.
So we're really enjoying that here and we're thinking that while the kids are still living with us, we'll probably base ourselves here in Christchurch close to grandparents and friends. So it's been really interesting and it's kind of a miracle in a way that we got here and everything was packed up and, and we got back along with our little cat who is, sort of like us. She's a highly sensitive cat and she had to travel by herself, because we only had two weeks basically to pack everything up before we flew, she had to remain behind in Brisbane and Stay at a cattery sort of facility for about 10 days while her papers came through before she could fly and join us.
And it was a lot for her. She was pretty stressed out when she arrived. She came a week ago and her eyes were like saucers and she was meowing. And as soon as she came back with us, she spent the first night meowing a bit, but then the next day she sort of realized she was with us and just received lots of love and hugs and she settled down and now she's really having a great time here. It's a wonderful place to explore for her. She is roaming around, except she's terrified of the horse, quite rightfully so, every time she hears the hooves stomp she jumps about a mile, but aside from that, she's pretty relaxed.
So yeah, it's been a big effort and it was really down to the wire. A lot of things you can only really do at the last minute when you're moving. And we were doing things right up to the last day - selling our car, handing in the keys to the real estate agent, getting the house cleaned, and everything was really down to the wire.
And it was an epic mission, really. It was a huge epic mission to get on the plane. And while I was in the airport shuttle driving to the airport, I was still on my phone sorting things out, ringing the agent, ringing the dealer who had just bought our car.
So all these things were still happening. And I was physically quite battered just from the mammoth physical effort of having to pack up about 12 pieces of luggage to go on the plane. Luckily people came in to pack up our furniture, which we were having shipped. But it was a lot.
And when we arrived back in New Zealand, it was about two o'clock in the morning and we stayed at an airport hotel just to get some sleep. We didn't get to sleep till about 3 a. m, and my husband had booked the buffet breakfast for the next morning and we all slept soundly until about 930 AM and the buffet finished at 10.
So my husband woke up and rushed down and he got a bit of breakfast but for the rest of us, it was the last thing on our minds. We were just in sort of recovery mode. And my lovely in-laws came and collected us with two vehicles and gathered us and our 12 pieces of luggage, I think it was, including my daughter's guitar, and took us back to their home.
And we were really received with open arms and I felt battered and bruised physically. I could barely walk or barely lift up any luggage by then, my back and my neck were just aching. We had bruises on us and emotionally we were quite highly stressed as well because it had just been so much. We were just so exhausted.
So we were fed and looked after and I'm so deeply grateful for that because we really, really needed it. But this whole year's journey -when we went almost a year to the day to when we returned - and my husband always said, okay, we'll go, but let's just give it a year.
So we kept quite a lot of things. We kept our car and we kept some furniture items, microwaves, dryers, that sort of thing. But when we left, I sort of renounced them. I really didn't think that would be back in a year. I, I sort of thought we were leaving and I didn't really expect to be back. So when we returned, it was like a real gift. It was like Christmas. Oh, we still have a car. Wonderful. We opened up the storage container where our things had been stored. And it was like, Oh, what a gift. We've got all these things here. So yeah, it's interesting when you just let something go and don't expect to see it again. It was such a blessing and a gift to see that.
It was there for us, but the whole year away really was like the hero's journey. That kept coming back to me when we got home because we left, you know, excited for a new adventure. And we definitely did have an adventure and it was intense. We had some really intense, stressful times. We also had some wonderful times and just after the decision to come back, it was like we were slaying dragons every day.
So many obstacles came up, you know, selling our car, we'd planned to sell it, and then that sale fell through right at the last moment. And so I got in the car with my son and drove around to a couple of dealers. And someone said, yes, we'll take it. This was on the day before we left. So the day that we were leaving, my husband went and sold it.
And, so many things like that. Our cleaners didn't turn up when they were meant to, lots of things just jumped in our way and they were obstacles. So we were putting out fires and slaying dragons right up to, even after we got on the plane and after we arrived back in New Zealand, we still had some things to tie up, but it really feels like that hero's journey, because even though it wasn't my preference, I know that this is where I'm meant to be right now.
This is where our family's meant to be right now. And it feels right. It feels good. And we've grown so much. I think as a family, we've all grown so much from that experience and having that overseas experience. And I think if you knew the effort that it would take to go, but then also to come back, you wouldn't necessarily do it. My husband keeps saying, Oh, we probably shouldn't have even gone. It cost lots of money. I mean, we lost out on probably 10, 000 on our car. Only a year before we'd paid 10, 000 more for it. Just because the market changed and we were in a hurry and we were ready just to let go of that, so we could come back here. And, you know, lots of things like that cost a lot more money, but it's an experience, and you really can't put a price on, on an experience of growth. I mean, we've both grown so much, and our children as well, and that's so worth it. So, yeah, absolutely no regrets. And having gone, I feel so much more refreshed and uplifted and I see things a lot differently now. I'm taking advantage of things that are here in Christchurch, which I hadn't really noticed before. And it's almost like sometimes you have to go away to see what's right there in your backyard.
So yeah, I see that as a real blessing and it's where we're meant to be right now. So, we've still got a few months while waiting for our house to become vacant before we can move back into our own home, but feeling so lucky to be here in this beautiful space, which my in-laws have so generously let us use while we're waiting for our house to become free.
And my kids are riding horses almost every day. And just having that country lifestyle is really good. It is a long drive, it's half an hour to get my kids to school each way in the morning and in the afternoon, but it's only temporary, and I think it's worth it. So. Yeah, just reflecting on that experience at the moment and the fact that anything worthwhile is never easy, but you know, you'd never NOT do it.
I would never exchange that experience for anything because I feel like I've grown so much and learned so much from the experience. So yeah, I hope this resonates with you and let me know if you've had any similar experiences.
Let me know in the comments. Thank you so much for joining me. And if this episode resonates with you, please share it with a friend who might also get something from it because that helps us so much. I'll be back with guest interviews. I'm resettling. So I've got some amazing guests lined up in the weeks to come, so stay tuned.
Thanks so much for being here. Bye.