Wellness In Every Season

Episode 153: Midlife Transition

• Autumn Carter/ Lena Wilson • Season 1 • Episode 153

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Change is inevitable—but transformation is a choice. In this heartfelt episode, Transition Coach and CEO of Real Inspiration LLC, Lena M. Wilson, joins Autumn Carter to explore how to navigate midlife transitions with clarity, compassion, and courage. Drawing from her 25 years in corporate HR and her own powerful journey through loss, identity shifts, and renewal, Lena helps listeners understand why change often feels paralyzing—and how to move from surviving to truly thriving.


Together, Autumn and Lena unpack the emotional and psychological layers of transition—fear of the unknown, grief from what’s ending, and the internal resistance that keeps us clinging to the familiar. They discuss how to honor your emotions, reframe fear, and create a roadmap for growth that aligns with your values and wellness. The conversation moves through midlife career changes, relationship transitions, and the quiet work of rediscovering purpose when your old roles no longer define you.


Lena also shares insights from her Transition Blueprint™, a framework for reframing setbacks, regulating emotions, reclaiming confidence, and reigniting your next chapter. Whether you’re facing a career shift, a major life change, or a quiet internal transition, this episode will help you see that you’re never truly stuck—you’re simply being invited to evolve.


Connect with Lena at lenawilson.com, explore her free transition guides at lenawilson.com/resources, and follow her journey on Instagram and TikTok @coachlenawilson for inspiration and tools to support your next season of growth.


midlife transitions, change, transformation, grief, personal growth, empowerment, mindset, coaching, Lena Wilson, career change, emotional wellness, resilience, Autumn Carter, Wellness in Every Season

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Episode 153: Transitions and Midlife

[00:00:00] Introduction to Wellness In Every Season

[00:00:00] Autumn Carter: This is episode 153. We are going to be talking about life transitions and midlife.

[00:00:09] Welcome to Wellness In Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all of its forms. I'm your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach, turn wellness coach, as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

[00:00:29] My goal is to help you thrive, both as an individual and as a parent.

[00:00:32] Meet Lena Wilson: Transition Coach

[00:00:32] Autumn Carter: Today I have with me Lena Wilson, and I have already enjoyed talking to her. She, like I said, is gonna be talking about life transitions. She's a transition coach. She works with midlife career relationships, and so much more.

[00:00:48] Tell us more about the people that you work with and maybe after that. What's your favorite thing to work in out of all the different types of transitions that you've worked through? 

[00:00:59] Lena Wilson: [00:01:00] Yeah. Thanks so much for having me, autumn. I really appreciate it. Happy to be here.

[00:01:05] I am a transition coach and I really enjoy, and I'm very passionate about helping people navigate uncertainty. Uncertainty tends to bring out a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear. A lot of worry and a lot of transition is really about ending something and really beginning something. And most people have challenges with the ending part because our brain is wired to hold onto the things that are familiar and known.

[00:01:34] And so there's this internal resistance that's happening when we're going through transitions. Our heart, depending on what it is, sometimes grieving that loss. And we're just trying to find some stability in the midst of all of that uncertainty. And when you have all of those things happening simultaneously, sometimes you need some additional support to give you the clarity.

[00:01:54] And a roadmap to help you navigate all of that. And that's where I come in. So that's just a glimpse of [00:02:00] the work that I do. 

[00:02:01] Navigating Career Transitions

[00:02:01] Lena Wilson: And I would say my favorite navigation life transition would be twofold. I they, run neck and neck. Number one is career. I love helping people identify, doing work that lights.

[00:02:15] Their heart and their soul up. So many people are just bound by work that they don't necessarily love. And when you're doing work that is not meaningful or purposeful, it drains you and it truly feels exhausting. So I love helping people uncover their hidden gifts, their talents, and things that they're passionate about, and help them to realize that you are able to monetize this.

[00:02:42] 'cause sometimes we don't even realize that we can monetize some of those gifts. 

[00:02:46] Overcoming Relationship Breakups and Divorce

[00:02:46] Lena Wilson: And the second most favorite would be helping people navigate, I would say relationship breakups and divorce. And, that's because it's very personal to me. I went through a very painful divorce many years ago, and it was by far the darkest season of my life.

[00:03:03] I realized going through that experience that it's so easy to get lost in pain if you don't do the work to heal. And I always feel like I have as much as possible, I wanna help people realize it doesn't matter what you experience, what you encounter in life, you can overcome adversity and you can heal, you can rebuild and still live a life that's meaningful and purposeful to you.

[00:03:28] So those would be the two that I would highlight as, what I love helping people navigate through. 

[00:03:34] Autumn Carter: Can we take a minute and dive deeper? So good. So I plan on pulling these apart. Yeah. I wanna start with one because it made me think about and. Sometimes they listen, so they might listen to this episode.

[00:03:48] So shout out to these family members. Okay. But actually it's two different family members or group units. On my husband's side of the family. My parents-in-law. [00:04:00] Okay. And then the oldest sister-in-law and her husband. Okay. 

[00:04:04] The Challenges of Moving and Fear of the Unknown

[00:04:04] Autumn Carter: They both had it's time to move and. It for decades. We saw it with my parents-in-law, like, why aren't you doing it?

[00:04:15] Everybody else has moved away from this town. And then from finally the state. Nobody else lives in your same state? One niece does, but like no one in the immediate family. You're getting older. Why aren't you doing this? We see the writing on the wall. And then with the oldest sister-in-law it was with her husband.

[00:04:39] The job market has dried up. Why aren't you moving? It's obvious. I had some coaching sessions with him. It's obvious that you should move here. This is where you're called to move to. It took them a long time and. Seeing it from the coaching perspective and then talking to my husband, it's so clear what you should do.[00:05:00] 

[00:05:00] But realizing from the other side, there's so much work to do to get yourself there. Yeah. And it's so much harder and absolutely that fear of the unknown. So I really wanna tease that apart more to really have people feel seen. 

[00:05:15] Lena Wilson: And that's, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I'll go back to what I was explaining.

[00:05:15] I think 

[00:05:15] Understanding the Emotional Impact of Transitions

[00:05:15] Lena Wilson: So I also work, I'm also a grief coach, which is secondary to what I do, and I'll tell you why. There is a lot of grief that happens when we're going through transitions and, that grief and the anxiety and the fear is all tied together and, what happens is that people get paralyzed, which is why you feel like, oh, it's so obvious that you should be doing this, but the fear.

[00:05:39] And, the brain telling us, oh, this is safe. Being where they are is safe. It's familiar, it's comfortable. The thought of leaving that safety and the fear coming up really heavy, it is sometimes very paralyzing. What if I fail? What if I get there and I'm not successful?

[00:05:59] What if I get there [00:06:00] and I don't like it? What if I get there and I don't feel like I belong? And so it feels easier to stay in a space even though we've outgrown that space, even though this space no longer serves well. It feels easier because there's really what I call this false sense of safety because it's familiar.

[00:06:21] And a lot of people get so wrapped up in that safety that they, don't move or make the transition until the pain becomes greater than the fear. It has to get to this point. And so what I will say, in that situation that you just described when I work with individuals who just feel like, man, I know I need to make a change, but I'm not sure how to do that.

[00:06:51] We really talk about the mindset because it sounds like there's something about their perception of this move. The mindset. [00:07:00] That's creating this fear that won't allow them to move forward. And I really work through what is that? Tell me what's the fear that you have around that? We also work through the emotions because two things prevent people from moving through a transition.

[00:07:17] That's their mindset that often has to be realigned, and that's. Also the emotional piece of it that they don't know how to navigate. And so it's fear, it's anxiety, it's worry, it's panic sometimes. And we know that anxiety could really like that in itself, right? You put anxiety and fear together, like you're just frozen, right?

[00:07:39] And so really unpeeling the layers as to tell me why you feel afraid. Tell me why you feel anxious, because. People say that, but then you have to unpeel it, right? You, have to like peel it back. What's causing the fear, what's causing the anxiety? So now that we've identified it, [00:08:00] what do we need to do to overcome that?

[00:08:02] And that's where the roadmap comes in. And I think sometimes people are dealing with surface levels, not realizing that there's something deeper and, you'd be amazed autumn, that sometimes it's connected to something that may have happened way back when. But somehow it is showing up in this moment that they have to make a significant life change.

[00:08:23] And because they didn't deal with that back then, now it's manifesting in the form of fear that's paralyzed thing from moving forward. So that's just a little bit of what I would share around that. And it is overwhelming because we're designed to be safe and feel safe.

[00:08:39] And we get in this space sometimes when we're in transition, where we're in a survival mode and when we get in survival mode, it becomes really dangerous because every day is just a day of how do I get through this day? And it's not a day where our mind's a programmed to, oh, how can I navigate through this transition

[00:08:56] in a happy, peaceful way. It's, I'm just in survival [00:09:00] mode, and so survival mode is another reason why people stay stuck for quite a while because their energy is depleted from staying stuck in a space that no longer serves them. And really, they've clearly outgrown and it's not a space that they need to be in.

[00:09:17] It's obvious to us. But doing the move is harder. 

[00:09:22] Autumn Carter: That goes with when I was getting my coaching certification, it was the question of, which is more painful to stay here or to move forward?

[00:09:33] Because like you're saying, you are letting go of things and some of the things that are keeping you stuck, they're good reasons. They're, things you wanna keep. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes we have to let go of those things to move forward to something greater. Yeah. But we know that it's gonna be greater here, but it's getting through this part that's so hard, like you're talking about.

[00:09:55] Yeah. And with my parents-in-law, they're still unpacking, settling in. [00:10:00] And then with my oldest sister-in-law, they're in a good place and what's nice is they're like 20 minutes away from each other now. Oh, awesome. Where they were states away. That's awesome. Yeah, so it's really good. All the other siblings are in the same state.

[00:10:13] We're the outliers with one other brother. Okay. Out in Maryland. Everyone else is over here on the West Coast and seeing that the dust is settling a little more and it's in a good place. It's that reminder that. Don't wait so long. It's worth it. Yeah. And I have somebody else who I'm coaching who's been through a awful divorce, like capital letter's.

[00:10:39] Awful. And seeing the weight lifted of when those papers were finally signed been so great to see with coaching her through all this and it's really hard. And it was, I could see what she needed to do two years before she could. But. Guiding [00:11:00] through and helping and just being that listening ear.

[00:11:03] I feel like that's the biggest tool of any coach is just being that open space for them to just unload it all. Yeah, absolutely. And start to sort it through here's all my luggage, blah. Okay, now it starts sorting through it type of thing. 

[00:11:18] Lena Wilson: Yeah. When you're, in the thick of it.

[00:11:20] 'cause the divorce piece, like I said, is very personal to me. Like you could barely see. On the other side of it is joy again. Peace again. Freedom again, like life again. You're clouded by the pain that you're experiencing in that moment, in that season. And if you have children you're, really just trying to even breathe through that and still be a mom and be present.

[00:11:45] It's hard to see the other side. I think sometimes that's what makes it difficult. If people could have a clearer vision that it's gonna be so much better on the other side of this pain I think it might help but it's hard to see that when [00:12:00] you're in the thick of it. 

[00:12:01] Autumn Carter: And you said that you help people work through grief.

[00:12:04] Lena Wilson: Yeah. 

[00:12:04] Autumn Carter: When you have children, how much of it is your grief versus their grief? And then there's that in between where it's both of your grief. Yeah. And as parents, we can be so busy taking care of them that you negotiate. The ours is just building up, And then we explode out of nowhere.

[00:12:20] We don't know why. It's because we're not. Airing out our grief laundry, so to speak. Yeah, 

[00:12:26] Lena Wilson: no, you're absolutely right. Like I just remember when I was going through my divorce, my daughter was 10 months old when we got separated. Wow. So I was still technically a new mom. Just really trying to navigate that.

[00:12:40] Six months prior to that, I lost my first parent. My dad died of cancer, so it's like my daughter was born in January. My dad died in April, and then October of that same year we got separated and. I have to tell you, like every day was just like, [00:13:00] how do I get through this day? Like I was in real survival mode and you already feel a high sense of overwhelm and adjustment happening with being a new mom.

[00:13:10] But then you add the component of the grief of my dad passing, and now my whole dream of having a family being together like just shattered. And so I just remember when I was in that space, there wasn't even any capacity to care for my emotions, to care for my feelings. I just had enough energy to make sure I worked 'cause I still had to survive, right?

[00:13:37] Financially and caring for her. 10 months is that age. They're starting to walk and explore and like it's, and I just remember at the end of every day, I was just. Exhausted. I had nothing else to give. And so when you're dealing with a hard divorce and then you have other things, other life events that may have happened very close to that, [00:14:00] it can be very crippling.

[00:14:01] And that was really the catalyst to start doing a lot of the work that I do. So I started off. 

[00:14:07] Balancing Personal and Professional Life

[00:14:14] Lena Wilson: As a life coach and then having been in corporate for 25 years. So that was the other piece of my journey. I worked in corporate for 25 years. The last five years I was an executive coach where I helped managers really navigate a lot of hard things in the workplace.

[00:14:24] The corporate space and transitions would come up a lot where people would, be high performers in the workplace. But personally, their life was just in shambles and they didn't know how to create that balance or deal with difficult transitions or changes that would happen on an organizational level because they had to manage a team.

[00:14:47] It's back to exactly what you said, I have to make sure my team is taken care of. So I don't have the capacity to care for me, but the reality is the change is affecting everyone, including the leader. And it's the [00:15:00] same thing when you're a parent. We tend to put our children first, and we don't always take care of ourselves.

[00:15:05] The, analogy of the oxygen mask still applies. We just don't default to that when we need to. If I care for myself then I can care for her better. But I just remember feeling like. I'm never gonna be okay again. Never. And of course, here we are. She is. 17. She's a senior this year.

[00:15:27] Autumn Carter: Something on your finger. 

[00:15:29] Lena Wilson: And I am remarried. Yes, I have been remarried for 13 years. Wow. Congratulations. I've been married for 13 years. I was married the first time for seven years and I've been remarried for 13 years and I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I've done the work to heal.

[00:15:44] 'cause it was very hard. Healing sometimes is harder than the injury. The process of healing longer is sometimes but I got to the point where I realized that. I, still had so much life to live and my daughter deserved to [00:16:00] have a mom who was healthy and whole and to live in a home where there was peace and there was joy and fulfillment and purpose.

[00:16:08] And I knew that I couldn't do that in the state that I was in. So I had to do a lot of hard work to fix myself and heal through that so that I can create the best possible life for her. 

[00:16:20] Autumn Carter: One thing that stood out to me that you did not mention is the grief of my identity completely shifting when I had my oldest.

[00:16:28] And honestly, it did after each child because I became a different parent. The way I parented with one child is different when I had two and then three, and then four. And my oldest even points out, you're a different mama. It's just me and you. I'm like, yeah, it's a lot easier. I get you. I can read you like the back of my hand.

[00:16:44] No problem. Exactly. And same with my second oldest. But when you start adding in my third, who's the puzzle child, and then the fourth, just their ages are different, their personalities are different. Plus I'm outnumbered. I know I had postpartum [00:17:00] depression, but it wasn't just that.

[00:17:01] There definitely was grief over. I realized I had too much of my identity in my profession. And in other things. And those were gone. As soon as my whole life became about him, I became a stay at home mom. 

[00:17:17] Lena Wilson: And then 

[00:17:17] Autumn Carter: seven months later, I became a stay at home mom with a baby and a student. So just all these different labels, titles changed.

[00:17:30] Yeah. And it is obvious that what you had going on was so big that. I don't know if you've ever taken the time to recognize that you had a huge shift in just who you were. 

[00:17:42] Lena Wilson: Yeah, absolutely. So what's interesting about the identity piece is because I work with, and I've gone through it myself, leaving corporate AF 25 years is a long time to be in hr, right?

[00:17:54] I was in corporate for 34 years, but 25 of those years were in hr and I was sharing with [00:18:00] someone last week that when you are in entrepreneurship. You don't have anyone giving you the awards and the accolades well done on that project, or you get reviews every year and you're like, oh, you're getting a raise.

[00:18:14] I, don't have that anymore. And so in this space that I'm in, and I definitely worked really hard to be consecutively a pretty high achiever when I was in corporate. And so now I don't, have that. Sternal validation that tells me you're doing a fabulous job, right? I'm relying on my clients to tell me that their life is shifting.

[00:18:38] But I don't have that, that I had in corporate. And there is something that does shift around your identity. When you move out of that space, you realize, oh, how much of my worth? And my value was tied around my success in corporates, right? And my success and how I [00:19:00] achieve that. And see that looks very different now.

[00:19:02] And so there are parts of me that I think I miss a little bit of that. But then the flip side is. I enjoy the journey I'm on where I have more freedom and more autonomy, and I'm able to create my schedule and do meaningful work and impact way more lives than I was able to do in the corporate space.

[00:19:21] But there has been a shift in my identity and, how I show up to do the work that I do. It's validated very differently. And I am, I'm fortunate in that. I'm confident in who I am, but I recognize that has been a shift for me and there are moments where I do miss that component. 

[00:19:43] Autumn Carter: Yeah, that is one of my words of affirmation is one of my love languages.

[00:19:47] So I totally feel you there. I was thinking, I know so many coaches that used to work in hr. Why do you think there's that correlation? 

[00:19:58] Lena Wilson: I think because we [00:20:00] spend most of our time coaching and consulting, right? There are very few roles within HR that you don't have to do some degree of that.

[00:20:10] I think it's a transferable skill that is easy to fit into that space. I worked in employee relations. I did recruiting for the first beginning of my career, and then I did employee relations for about 13 years, a long time.

[00:20:27] And my entire employee relations career, that's all I did. I coached employees, I coached managers. And so you're doing interpretation of laws and, all of that as well. But most of it is you are doing coaching. And then I was still in hr, but I was coaching managers only to help them to be better leaders.

[00:20:50] And you could be like a benefits backend person and you don't really talk to a lot of people right there. Certainly there are roles in the back [00:21:00] office where you don't have that skill leveraged as much, but for the most part, HR managers, execs, employee relations, those very people-oriented core roles.

[00:21:12] Coaching is the essence of what you do on a consistent basis. So it's a easy, translation, except you do it with 

[00:21:20] Autumn Carter: way too many hours.

[00:21:22] Lena Wilson: Exactly. And at your own personal expense. Yeah. HR is quite it's, grueling, especially employee relations. I look back now and I'm like, how did you do that for so long?

[00:21:34] It, really does take away the quality of your life. I, at that time, I had the opportunity to work remotely a hundred percent of the time, and that was something I wanted to do because my daughter was younger. And I, that benefit was more important to me to be present in the home than, man, this is hard work, right?

[00:21:59] But [00:22:00] then as she got older I was able to explore and do some other different roles. 

[00:22:06] Autumn Carter: What I've noticed about people who work in more of the HR type roles, especially if it's from home. They don't have a clear, I've left the office, so they work more hours. Whether they think they are or not, they absolutely are.

[00:22:20] Okay. And it's almost. Especially if they're females. Maybe it's part of that woman guilt stuff that we're given and it's a different s word that I'm really using.

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[00:23:35] You can also book private coaching sessions for more personalized support on your journey.

[00:23:39] Lena Wilson: Yeah, I did struggle with that. I was a workaholic for sure. 

[00:23:45] The Importance of Setting Boundaries

[00:23:45] Lena Wilson: And i, had to put boundaries in place, and even when I put boundaries in place, sometimes it was hard to honor those, but I got better as time went on.

[00:23:58] But you do, you really have to [00:24:00] create these very rigid boundaries, meaning if, I'm ending at five, I'm ending at five and I'm not going back to work. I think the challenge especially through COVID, like being in HR through COVID was rough. And then even post COVID, like the whole landscape of the workplace and corporate shifted quite a bit and so there was just this change fatigue that was happening on an ongoing basis, change after change, and it was necessary because.

[00:24:31] We had to adapt to all that was happening. But you have to have very firm boundaries in place, and you have to honor those boundaries and make sure that other people are honoring those boundaries. So if you're the person that's used to responding to emails at 11 o'clock at night. That's gonna be an expectation that people are gonna have of you.

[00:24:50] But if you decide, look, I'm not responding to any emails after 6:00 PM then people learn to not expect that from you. So it's almost like teaching [00:25:00] people to honor your boundaries and making sure that you honor them yourself. It is one of the hardest things to do, but it's so necessary for your mental health.

[00:25:11] Autumn Carter: Oh my goodness, this is so good. So it makes me think about a stay at home mom with kids. And it is so much faster to just do the chore, do the dang thing yourself than to sit there and train the person. And it's the same thing with the work environment and your boundaries. Any environment.

[00:25:29] Yeah. And you're working through boundaries, so just be it's okay, whatever. I'll just take care of whatever it is. Instead of worrying about. Are they gonna be upset? The whole people pleasing or whatever comes up for you? It's so much easier, but at the end of the day, it's taking care of your own wellness, your own self.

[00:25:50] Are you in alignment? Are you feeling like you have enough energy to even get into bed? 

[00:25:58] The Exhaustion of Overworking

[00:25:58] Lena Wilson: Yeah. 

[00:25:59] Autumn Carter: Even close your [00:26:00] eyes. Yeah, sometimes. Have you ever been this way where you're so tired that you can't get up to go to bed? And or to meditate or whatever it is that you know that you are missing and you need to do.

[00:26:15] Yeah. Yeah. That was really coming up for me with what you were saying. Yeah. 

[00:26:18] Lena Wilson: It's, and when you were talking, two things came up for me. 

[00:26:21] Realizing the Need for Change

[00:26:26] Lena Wilson: One is I remember right after I graduated from college, so I worked in the banking industry most of my career. Two separate major banks and when I graduated from college, I got this promotion and I was really excited and I was managing like 40 different people and I was scheduling like tellers to different locations.

[00:26:40] It was a pretty big job. And then I quickly realized that I was. Grossly underpaid for the job. And it was wearing me out, like people would call in at four o'clock in the morning. My PA at the time, I had a pager, remember pagers and I started to get physically sick from that job.

[00:26:59] [00:27:00] And it was the first time in my career that I realized if I didn't change something quickly, then I was going to be physically ill and something deeper was gonna happen. And so I made my decision that I was going to leave and probably within about, I went through a staffing agency at the time to help me.

[00:27:18] 'cause I really wanted to expedite this process. That's how bad it had gotten. And they were able to place me in a recruiting manager role probably within about 65 days or so. And that was the first time I'm like, wow. When you are younger and you get out of college, you just wanna shine in the workplace.

[00:27:37] You're excited. It's a new chapter. I'm making all this money. But if you're not careful, like you will overlook the part about I need to care for myself. Even through this journey of success. And my daughter, who's Gen Z, like they do that so very well. Like she's, 17 and she's mom I, need to decompress after work.

[00:27:57] She works at Alto. She's I'll be home about 10 minutes, but I need to decompress. And I'm thinking at 17 I knew nothing about decompressing. [00:28:00] It's like a whole different generation. 

[00:28:03] The Impact of Commuting on Well-being

[00:28:03] Lena Wilson: But then even when I left corporate this time, it was like I was very successful. I was fortunate to be able to do work that I love, but there was something missing for me.

[00:28:15] There was something missing and I started to lack the same level of meaning and purpose in the work. And I also commuted like over 90 minutes one way. And that was very new for me. Post pandemic. There was something about commuting and being in traffic three hours of your workday, like it just drains you on a whole nother level.

[00:28:38] What kind of traffic? Where were you? Get us in the car? Yeah, so I am, so I live in close to Tampa. So I live in a city called Lakeland and I was driving to Tampa now on paper. That is only about 38 miles from my home and what time of year too. And that's true too, right? And so I. [00:29:00] I respected like the decision that, hey, I now have to commute to the office.

[00:29:06] But the commute was not something that I knew I was gonna be able to sustain because it was, and my daughter's older. So it's, it wasn't even about having a younger child or anything like that. For me, it was just about my mental health. 

[00:29:19] The Importance of Mental Health

[00:29:19] Lena Wilson: It was about my peace of mind. I don't wanna get to work in the morning, and I am mentally drained and exhausted because I've been sitting in traffic for 90 minutes plus sometimes like that, just that wasn't what I wanted to do,

[00:29:32] I am in no means saying that people need to leave their jobs if they're in a situation where they're unhappy. I think you need to have a plan, and I think you need to be strategic, but I am also saying that if you are in an environment that's not healthy to your mental health, your physical health, emotionally, like you have to be in tune and self-aware of what's happening with you internally.

[00:29:56] You need to start figuring out how can you position [00:30:00] yourself in a way that allows you to thrive? Too many people settle for what they think they have to settle for because it, could be their belief system. It could be that they just don't feel like I can do any better than this. It could be that they are financially so stable and secure.

[00:30:21] There's no way that I'm gonna be able to replace this. There's no way I'm there's so many things that come up. 

[00:30:26] The Value of Personal Peace

[00:30:26] Lena Wilson: There is nothing more important than my peace of mind. Absolutely nothing more important than my peace of mind. And has it been like this walk in the park since I've left?

[00:30:37] Absolutely not like you, entrepreneurship is a whole animal all by itself. But the joy and the peace of mind that I have is absolutely priceless. To be sitting here at what time is it 1 39 in the day doing a podcast with a new friend? That's, just priceless to me, honestly.

[00:30:56] Autumn Carter: What kind of pants are you wearing underneath no one knows. 

[00:30:59] Lena Wilson: No one [00:31:00] cares, right? Alone. Yeah. So I just if, anything that I say today, I want people to know that you are never stuck where you are. You are only stuck if you put that limitation in your mind. If you're in a space that just drains you and depletes you, or you're doing work that's not meaningful and purposeful and you know on the inside that there's something greater, there's something different that you wanna explore, go for it.

[00:31:31] You'll never know what you can achieve or do unless you try. And failing is not the most horrible thing. Failing is just a lesson that we can pivot from, right? I love 

[00:31:43] Autumn Carter: this. Okay. Two different thoughts, but they're in different directions. Okay. So let's do, I wanna spend more time on my AI thought.

[00:31:43] Okay. So we'll remind me to go back to that one. Okay. So the one that I wanna talk about is, I interviewed a desk doula and it was very interesting hearing about the work that she's done as a social worker. And then becoming a death doula with. People who are dying. And the regrets that they [00:32:00] had and hearing about them gave her so much life perspective.

[00:32:04] And sometimes we need to take that on ourselves and go that morbid route of, Okay, I'm on my deathbed. What am I going to regret most? And allow that to propel us further. That thought totally came up for me. What are your thoughts on that one? 

[00:32:20] Lena Wilson: So my response to that would be when I turned 50, you are not Notice I paused because every podcast I'm on, that's the exact reaction I get.

[00:32:35] But I am not, I am 52. 

[00:32:38] Autumn Carter: Nope. So we need to live her lifestyle is what I'm learning. But I had someone tell me they thought I was in my twenties. I'm like I, love you. You're my favorite. 

[00:32:45] Lena Wilson: I could see that actually, late twenties. But, honestly, this is what happened for me when I turned 50.

[00:32:53] I realized that I had more life behind me than I did ahead of me. And the [00:33:00] realization of that did something to me honestly. Because if you look at when I left my corporate career, it is when I turned 51. And when, that happened for me, that's when I really started to deeply explore, am I truly happy with my life?

[00:33:18] It wasn't just about my career, it was just about my life in general. Because your career and your job is just one very small component of what fuels you, your joy, what gives you peace. And satisfaction and meaning. And I realized that from a corporate space, while I had been very successful, there was still something missing for me.

[00:33:40] And I also realized that I was no longer willing to sacrifice my peace of mind for the sake of a paycheck. And. Not everyone can do that, and I recognize that, I have a very supportive husband. We co-manage another business so I [00:34:00] am blessed in that there are things that I have in place to help me with this transition that I'm in.

[00:34:07] But I also had to make a decision. And sometimes people need to make a decision that they're no longer going to just settle and they're going to go after all their dreams or whatever it is. In order to live a life that they absolutely love. And so when you come back to the death doula, there are a lot of people you may have heard that in the graveyards.

[00:34:30] There are tons and tons of unfulfilled dreams there. That's where all the unfulfilled dreams live. I didn't want that to be me, I something and fail than to live in a space of regret.

[00:34:46] I wish I had just, and so many people just, they don't even try. 

[00:34:55] Autumn Carter: I love that. And to bring it more home for people, [00:35:00] including your drive time. How many hours, like how big of a chunk of this was your life work? For you and then let's think. Have everybody else think about like, how big of a chunk is that for you as well?

[00:35:18] Lena Wilson: Per 

[00:35:18] Autumn Carter: week? 

[00:35:19] Lena Wilson: Yeah, so it did fluctuate throughout my career. But I would say when I was in employee relations in particular I was working at least 50 plus hours a week and that's including your drive. So when I worked in employee relations, I was working a hundred percent remote.

[00:35:41] Okay. My last,

[00:35:41] I had a lot my boundaries in place, so I didn't work at, start that over. You went last and then it froze with you like this, and then it just came back. Okay. So when I worked in my last role when I left corporate, I had a lot more boundaries in place. And when the commute started, there was no way I could have still worked as many hours, but then still beyond the road, three hours a day like that was unrealistic, right?

[00:35:58] It, wasn't realistic for [00:36:00] that. And so I only worked like. I would say probably about 40, 41 hours. I really stuck to that, script near the end. 

[00:36:10] Autumn Carter: That's a big difference. 

[00:36:13] Lena Wilson: Big difference. Very big difference. Yeah. But remember I had, I started to have boundaries in place. That really made a difference too, for me.

[00:36:20] 'cause my wellness was gonna suffer if I didn't do that. 

[00:36:24] Autumn Carter: And that's something that's really important for all of you listeners to think about is how. Think of your life, like the time that you have in a day, in a week, a month. How big of this pie is going where and where do you want your time to go and think of it time, and then think of it as energy.

[00:36:47] Where do you want these things to go? And what Lena is talking about here is realizing where she wanted her time and energy to go and what was important to her. And then, [00:37:00] because we're getting closer on time, I wanna switch to this other one. I was at book club. Just a couple days ago, and one of the women there was talking about how she wants to have a career change and oh, she's just gonna talk to AI for that.

[00:37:13] And I'm like I'm a life coach, right? I'm right in front of you. She is oh yeah, you work in this type of stuff. So tell us why is it important, more important to work with an actual person who can give you real feedback rather than ai? 

[00:37:34] The Role of AI vs. Human Coaches

[00:37:34] Lena Wilson: Gotta love ai, right?

[00:37:36] AI is amazing. 

[00:37:37] Autumn Carter: Useful. 

[00:37:38] Lena Wilson: Yeah, AI is amazing. It's not going anywhere but here's what I would say. AI is also designed to give you very generic and very general information as it relates to whatever you input. So when you are going through a very specific, in my case, transition or change.

[00:37:59] [00:38:00] AI is gonna give you a very generalized response and it's not always gonna give you something strategic that's gonna be specific to your situation, that's gonna help you move the dial along. So one of the first thing I would say is that, yes, AI is a valuable tool and it will give you some great suggestions.

[00:38:20] AI is gonna hold you accountable when you don't feel like doing the hard things that you need to do, right? AI is certainly not gonna hold you accountable. AI is not gonna give you a tailor made roadmap and strategic plan to help you. They're not necessarily gonna help you to see your blind spots, right?

[00:38:39] Generic information could come up, but you really need someone that will be able to give you real time feedback and help you process some of those. Emotions that often remain hidden, right? AI is not gonna be able to pick up. You telling me on a zoom that, that you had a wonderful [00:39:00] week, but I can see that you did not have a wonderful week, right?

[00:39:03] Yeah. Let's explore or, when you make the statement about I feel like I'm healed from that, but then two minutes later you say something very contradictory to that AI won't be able to pick up those nuances. Yeah. AI is valuable, but a coach is gonna hold you accountable. A coach is gonna give you something that's very specific to your situation, and it's also gonna help you move your life in the right direction in a very authentic and real way, not based on generalized information.

[00:39:36] Autumn Carter: The idea of using AI for places where a coach belongs, just woo. I used it this morning for. What did I use it for? One, the one kid that I told you is like a puzzle. A therapist that I had for healing from my own childhood trauma recommended when I was talking about him, some of my therapy time went to just help me parent [00:40:00] him better, but yeah.

[00:40:01] He recommended a candy like Sour Patch kids. And I was recommending it to somebody else, and she said she doesn't want the dyes or the sugar. And I went duh, most of our, diet is free from that stuff. Naturally. Like we're not into that stuff. So why am I when he's dysregulated, giving him dyes and sugar.

[00:40:26] So then I went to AI and I said, okay. I am looking for this without this and I still had to no this, no that. Like I still had to go through that route, but it was so much easier than using good old Google. And, but I still needed to, the first answer wasn't right. I still needed to fine tune it with ai and that's just was something simple.

[00:40:50] The idea of using that for big areas of my life. Especially like you were saying. I, know some coaches that do it over [00:41:00] email and stuff like that. That is not my jam. I want What do what? Over email coach Coaching. Okay. That's not my jam. It's too filtered. Wow. No way. Oh really? I really like to do it in person or over, like we're doing right now.

[00:41:14] We recording because I can see the facial tics and the body language and everything else, so many of my clients, the first several sessions or even the first like 10 minutes of a session is just air it all out. Yeah. You can't really do that with ai. Even using the AI feature where you can voice chat with it, it cuts out.

[00:41:37] Yeah. Exactly. There's a time limit where Yeah, with a coach, it's there because you have this is your block of time. But besides that, no. We can easily say, you know what, I know you said you wanted to do this, but your body language is telling me that you might wanna do this. What do you think?

[00:41:56] AI is not gonna pick up on any of that stuff. Thank you for [00:42:00] stepping out the soapbox with me 'cause it was Yeah, absolutely. You don't career transitions and I know there are several other people who are going to be thinking the same thing. So I figured I'd let you. Say your thoughts on it.

[00:42:11] Lena Wilson: It's yeah, you don't know what you don't know. A coach is gonna help you identify the things that you don't know, so you won't know what to ask AI to begin with. You'll know like some basic things, but to get to the very roots of why you're stuck in the first place, like you won't know what that is.

[00:42:30] To be able to ask AI to help you get unstuck. A coach has the skillset to ask the right questions. AI is limited. I have seen people use AI for some amazing things that make sense, and I've also seen the use of AI for some things that are like. Okay. I remember, I think recently I saw someone say that she decided not to go to her doctor's appointment and she just asked AI and AI was able to, give her the right [00:43:00] recommendation for what she needed which, that's a little bit dangerous.

[00:43:04] Don't allow AI to misdiagnose you and, create and compound the issue. But hey AI is an amazing tool, 

[00:43:12] Autumn Carter: I've used it for my blood work because my doctor will miss things that say that it's within range and I'm like, I don't think it is. Or, yeah. Different things.

[00:43:21] Yeah. And sometimes how the doctors doesn't call you back and you're like. But I'm curious about my blood work. Yeah. And you get it from whatever company your blood was drawn from. But I'm not skipping my doctor's appointments because Exactly. I'm turning 40 this year, so Yeah. Midlife.

[00:43:36] Yeah. Amazing. Thank you. I'm working hard to make sure I feel amazing and this engine is functioning properly. I wanna have all of my same teeth that was part of the getting braces because my molars were caved in on this side. So I wanna make sure I can chew on all sides of my mouth.

[00:43:53] Yeah. For my whole life. Yeah. And plus I had this whole section I wasn't using. So you should be all nice and [00:44:00] new. It's realizing that I want to live until I'm 90, so what do I need to be doing for those things? 

[00:44:06] Lena Wilson: Yeah. 

[00:44:06] Autumn Carter: Like you were saying, a major part of that is your stress levels. So if you are in a career that is depleting you

[00:44:13] or you're feeling an area of your life that is completely out of alignment and you can't figure out what, why, how, who, any of those. This is when you should see a life coach. And AI can be useful in helping you. Figure out which kind of life coach to a degree. But what I recommend is reach out to a life coach.

[00:44:35] Any really good life coach has this huge network of other coaches and can get you to the right one. 

[00:44:42] Lena Wilson: Yeah, absolutely. 

[00:44:43] Autumn Carter: Just the same as going to a PCP and then going to a specialist from there. 

[00:44:47] Lena Wilson: Yeah absolutely, highly recommend not using ai especially if you are really stuck tomorrow's not promised, right?

[00:44:59] So [00:45:00] the longer that you stay stuck in spaces that you've outgrown or don't serve you well, the longer it takes to get to where you really need to be and where you can live in this space of peace and joy and wisdom is definitely important when you're leveraging ai. 

[00:45:15] Autumn Carter: And how many people get to that place of peace and joy and fulfillment and balance and say, you know what, I wish I waited to get here.

[00:45:23] Exactly. Says no one. If they're saying that then something's wrong. 

[00:45:27] Lena Wilson: Yeah. 

[00:45:27] The Journey to Personal Fulfillment

[00:45:27] Lena Wilson: We are, I think the definition of success varies from person to person, and as I have gotten older.

[00:45:36] My definition of success has certainly evolved as well. I remember when I was early in my corporate career, like success was like, yeah, I'm gonna climb this corporate ladder as high as I can go. When I left, I was a senior vice president at a bank, but when I left, that title meant so little to me, like it was something I earned, and I'm proud of that.

[00:45:58] But I like, success is [00:46:00] not about a title for me anymore, right? Success is about the impact that I can make and make sure I'm doing that with integrity and, there's meaning and purpose with what I do. Very different from how I would've defined success in my early career, and so be okay with changing your why and changing how you define things just because you did it one way.

[00:46:24] At some point in your life doesn't mean it has to stay the same. And, I think one of the biggest things too, that comes up for people is what are people gonna think if I just decide to quit my job or change my career or do something that doesn't seem as glamorous. Whatever people, are really bound by fear of judgment, unfortunately.

[00:46:45] And so they rather stay where they are because that fear of people judging them or thinking less of them becomes so big that they just. Don't do anything. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your happiness. We are responsible for our own level of [00:47:00] happiness. No one else can do that for us.

[00:47:02] And so it's just counterintuitive that we would not do the things that really make us happy because we're fearful of what people will say or do. People don't control your level of happiness, but we give too much power to the opinions of others, to our own detriment, unfortunately, sometimes.

[00:47:19] Autumn Carter: What would it feel like if you went around and you realized how many people that don't even know you, that are giving you their power in that way? How many people would you be like, Nope, don't want that. And then if you flip the script they're giving the, your powerway to complete strangers.

[00:47:38] And honestly, nobody cares. 'cause they're, stuck in their own stuff and worrying about everybody else. Judging them. Let's go back to middle school here. Exactly. Yeah. And how empowering is it to realize you can be that change maker? Because other people are looking for a way out too, and if they see you starting to climb out, that's going to ignite the fire [00:48:00] for them as well.

[00:48:01] Lena Wilson: Absolutely. We don't realize the level of influence that we have when we make courageous decisions that other people are afraid to take. 

[00:48:07] Autumn Carter: Yeah. And we'll have complete strangers come up and tell us. 

[00:48:10] Lena Wilson: Yeah. 

[00:48:10] Autumn Carter: Exactly. Yeah. 

[00:48:11] Final Thoughts and Encouragement

[00:48:11] Autumn Carter: Is there anything you wanna leave us with and where can we find you?

[00:48:15] Lena Wilson: Yeah, absolutely. So I, always close with encouragement because I feel like we live in a world where things are hard, things are really hard. People are going through a lot of different challenges and adversities. And so I would just say that wherever you find yourself in this moment, tap into your resilience.

[00:48:34] You are more resilient than you think, or you realize. And know that you have the power to change the trajectory of your life, you can do that. You just have to believe in yourself and believe in what you're capable. And I always like to tell people that they are capable of achieving and doing, hard things, and achieving amazing things.

[00:48:53] You can find me@lenawilson.com. That's probably the best place. But you will also see the [00:49:00] links to all of my social media. I am on social media as well. Coach Lena Wilson. But lena wilson.com is like the best hub to find all of my information. Perfect. 

[00:49:11] Autumn Carter: And please listeners share this. We know so many people in our lives, like just a couple off the top of your mind, I'm sure.

[00:49:20] And if you dig more, you can come up with more that are stuck. Maybe they don't see it themselves, maybe they do, but we all know of people that are stuck. And honestly, we all have areas of our life that just need a little bit of fine tuning.

[00:49:33] So this is for you and for them. So please share that. Absolutely. Thank you. Bye. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:49:42] Conclusion and Resources

[00:49:42] Autumn Carter: Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance, miss chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their [00:50:00] lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

[00:50:05] Stay engaged with our wellness community by signing up for my newsletter at wellness and every season.com/free resources. When you join, you'll have the option to receive a five day guide called Awaken and Unwind, five Days to Mastering Your Mornings and Evenings, along with Free Guides, special offers on my programs, practical tips, personal stories.

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[00:50:47] So please spread the word about our podcast and about our newsletter. Thank you for being a part of our podcast community. I look forward to continuing our conversation, sharing stories and exploring wellness [00:51:00] in all of this aspects. Take care until our next episode. You can also work with me one-on-one or on demand through one of my programs by visiting wellness in every season.com/programs.

[00:51:14] One last thing to cover the show legally, I'm a certified life coach giving general advice, so think of this, this more as a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, so this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist.

[00:51:35] If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, go to my website, wellness and every season.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me for you. See you in next week's episode.