Episode 221: Timing and Grace in Business

What if success isn't about working harder—but about building a life and business that actually supports your wellbeing?

In this episode of Wellness in Every Season, Autumn sits down with business coach and strategist Chanda Coston to explore the powerful connection between faith, ambition, alignment, and sustainable success. Together, they discuss why so many women find themselves exhausted while chasing goals, how burnout often stems from misalignment rather than lack of effort, and what it looks like to build a business that fits your life instead of consuming it.

Drawing from her experiences as a U.S. Navy veteran, project manager, nonprofit founder, and coach, Chanda shares how personal loss, leadership, and life transitions reshaped her definition of success. She offers practical insights on setting boundaries, honoring capacity, finding supportive community, trusting the timing of your journey, and creating systems that allow both growth and rest.

Whether you're an entrepreneur, professional, parent, or simply navigating a season of change, this conversation is a reminder that purpose, peace, and progress can coexist. You'll walk away encouraged to give yourself grace, embrace the season you're in, and move forward with intention.

To learn more about Chanda and her work, visit chanda-co.com or connect with her on Instagram and Facebook at @chanda__co.

For more wellness tips and exclusive content, join my newsletter! Sign up now at https://wellness-in-every-season.kit.com/5-days-to-mastering-mornings-and-evenings receive a free 5-day guide called "Awaken and Unwind: 5 Days to Mastering Life's Mornings and Evenings." 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Say where you're talking specifically about timing and grace and business. Welcome to Wellness in Every Season. We talk all things wellness to help you align yourself, align with your goals, get find balance in your life, and just recalibrate yourself. If you are listening for the first time, welcome, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. And let's get started in the rest of the podcast. Shonda and I were just talking about her own experiences. She's going to be the one mostly talking about this, especially recent ones. So you'll see a lot of visceral reaction from her talking about this. There's so many times in owning a business, and I'm sure for those that are listening that don't own a business, you're still going to resonate with this, where you have this goal in mind, but the timing doesn't work, and you're just pushing. And if you hustle, you're going to get through this and it does not work. It becomes this huge dumpster fire. So we're going to be talking about that specifically, and we're going to be talking about burnout with that, because right there is where burnout happens for most people. So let me fully introduce my guest. She says her journey began in the military service in the US. She's a Navy veteran. And she has done Logistics Project Manager, where she learned structure, leadership, and how to stay steady under pressure. I'm sure you did for doing that. And what really shaped her was learning how to bring heart in that structure. And over time, she realized that real leadership isn't just about performance, it's about purpose, peace, and people. And that realization has led her into coaching and who she is today. And she says she wants to help women build from a place of alignment, not anxiety, which is totally what we're talking about today. So thank you for being on. I'm very excited you're here. I'm very excited for this conversation, especially with the stuff that you've had come up recently for you.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Yeah. So I'm super excited to be here. I love the topic idea. I think it resonates, like you said, for anyone who's just living life, right? Because life, as they say, sometimes life. And it doesn't just happen in business, but it also happens as moms or career women or wherever we find ourselves. And so I think it will resonate. And I'm excited to have this conversation. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Thank you. Where do you want to start this conversation? What feels aligned in the right direction for you?

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Well, I guess we can talk first things first about what does grace look like in a business, right? Because social media will sell you on the idea of business being sexy, right? Having your own business, being your own boss. It's a sexy thing to do, right? It is. Don't get me wrong. I'm not selling it short because that's my lane, but it is also work. And like you said, when things don't go as planned, what do you do? Because you're still a human and you still have responsibilities and you still have non-negotiables. And so I think in those moments is really important to have some type of foundation, to have community and support, and to be nice to yourself and to give yourself permission to change your mind, your direction, or to slow down, or to put things off in those seasons. And so we can talk about what that looks like if you like. From that perspective, as you mentioned, I am smack dab in the middle of that. I was at a conference in February and got a phone call that a young lady had passed away. And we weren't close, but she's the same age as my daughters, right? And I took it really bad. And it just kind of shook me because as a mom, I'm thinking about all of the things, right? Because she's the same age as my daughter. She left children behind, and I was just, it was a lot for me. And you just have to process it. And so ironically enough, my 26-year-old was like, Mom, you said you were coming to see me. She lives in Chicago. I said, You're right, baby. And I got in a plane and I went to see her. Okay. And I stuck in a snowstorm on the way home.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

And you're like, well, I live where I do and not there. But this is what we do as moms, whether we have businesses or not, right? We deal with those hard moments. And when our children call us, we show up for them. And we had a trip planned internationally for spring break for my grandchildren. It was planned since last year. We went to Europe for two weeks. And so we went on the trip. And on the way back, we got sick. Me and the kids, the grandkids, got sick. They got better within days. And days. They were back to bouncing around into everything. Me, I was sick for six weeks. It took me three weeks to get better and three weeks to get back to normal. And I'm very healthy. Okay. So right as I was coming out of that, okay. So this is February, March. We're now in April. Coming out of that, my mom's house catches on fire. My mom is elderly. Her husband is elderly. And I actually moved closer to her because her husband is terminal. He has fourth state COPD. And I wanted to support her as she goes through that. And in 2018, I lost my brother to gun violence and she's raising my niece. And so it's her, my niece, and her terminal husband. And so I'm like, okay, let me get you situated, get her into a hotel, and I'm like, we're going to deal with this when we get back. When I would have five siblings left, so I thought surely there would be some corralling. Nothing happened. By the time I got back from this conference, she was still needing assistance. And so I just pulled my boots up and said, we're going to get it done. And so within three weeks, I got her house packed, purged, downsized, and got her resettled.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Yeah, you did logistics. Then your career remote.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

As we were doing that, I got word that one of my mom's childhood friends, who I called an aunt, had passed away, and I thought I had time to see her. And so it was like, oh, wait a minute. What is happening here? But the point is, I'm a business owner. I'm successful. I love what I do. But there are still times when we have to take a moment for ourselves, right? When life is lifing, it's okay to say, you know what? I'm gonna take a step back, I'm gonna regroup, I'm gonna give myself permission to re-baseline and then to start again, right? Because who doesn't understand that? Who won't understand it? Who does that not resonate with? Right? And so when we have those moments when our children need us, my daughter's 26 in the Navy, and she said, Mom, can you please come see me? 26. I said, Yes, baby, I'm on my way. It doesn't stop. We don't stop being friends or loving our children or wanting the best for them, no matter how old they get. And so we still have to take a moment, and that is the sexiness of being an entrepreneur, is that we can do that, right? And in moments that you can't, then you still have to say, as a non-negotiable, do I have bandwidth to take these moments away from my business in order to care for my family, or how do I balance that? And then what does my support system look like in those hard moments so that I can get the help and the support I need, or I can vent, because sometimes that does help, and other people can tell you that what you're going through is normal, it's natural, and don't be so hard on yourself because we all need to hear it. And sometimes someone says, just speak, go turn your phone off, which is my thing. I unplug. I'm like, I'm turning my phone off, I'll call you guys in a week if it's an emergency, reach out. Otherwise, I need my time. But you have to know that for yourself, and you have to be willing to give that to yourself. And I think more people need to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

See, we're talking business, but all of that applies to anybody agreed. Absolutely, and we forget that we're we can be so overwhelmed and we're getting all these text messages while we're trying to focus or emails are pinging, and we forget that we can put on do not disturb. That just like our devices need to charge, so do we.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

I love that, and we can feel like, well, what if something happens if I take off my smart device on my wrist, my watch, whatever, and you put all of it away. How did we all survive the 90s? The 2000s, we forget these things, right? I wanted to let you know that there are some amazing things happening behind the scenes here that I'm very excited about. The first one is I am opening my podcast up for sponsorships. So if you are an aligned brand with wellness, reach out to me. You can find me wellnessevery season.com slash podcast slash sponsor. I also have something going on for you listeners. If you've been listening for a while, I interview people who are aligned with wellness and they talk about the healing modalities and different modalities that they do, but it is in a very descriptive sense. I am making it so that you have the chance to experience it during a recorded episode, and other people get to experience it alongside you so that we can really see how it works. Instead of just this zoomed out experience, we get to really zoom in and experience it. So you can find out more about that at wellnesseveryseason.com forward slash listener wellness guest. That we don't need to be connected, we don't need to be checking our email all the time, we don't need to have all the notifications on on every single thing. And we forget that the reason why we started a business or got into XYZ career is so that we could have XYZ lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

I think it's so key to have community, right? To have those relationships with people you trust when they come to you and they say, hey, it's okay, you know, take a break. Or I think you should step back for a little bit, like it's okay, you're not failing, like life is lifing. And you need people to speak life into you or to encourage you doing those moments. So you know, like you don't have to stay stuck in hustle mode. You don't have to do this by yourself. And then a lot of times in community, people are willing to help you. And even in situations with clients and things like that, outside of systems and automations and all those things, your clients are human. And so if you communicate what's going on, people are always graceful in business, especially if they know your heart and they know you as a person. So as a service provider, I deal with my clients one-on-one. So they know my heart, they know my energy, they know how I show up. And if I can't, they're like, okay, no, like seriously. So I'm very transparent. And so I think it's important to be that way if you can, right? As a pro product provider, you can't always do that. But in services, you can. And I think that's the importance of humanity in relationships.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

And it can be hard to remember that not showing up all the way, it totally reflects on you. And that's not what they're paying for in time and money and energy. Usually it's coaching with what we're talking about. So my question is how do you find your people? What's your recommendation? What would you do for somebody who's just starting out and wants that?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Oh, so what I tell everybody is if you can afford to join a paid community, there's plenty of free communities on Facebook. They have them for every subject, every idea, every genre, every expertise. If you go to Facebook and you search, you will find a bunch of groups for whatever you're looking for, right? And what I tell them is go in, introduce yourself, be value-added, reach out, like integrate yourself into that community. When you have questions, ask questions. If you see someone doing well, congratulate them because it doesn't cost you anything to be kind to someone, right? And so it doesn't take a lot to find a community. And with Facebook being so large and vast, a lot of people will think there's no one like me, but there's billions of people. There's at least five or ten of you in there, I promise.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

It's so different from growing up with school where it's like the outsider, I can't find the people my people. And then you graduate to life and you realize there are I can find people like me.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Yeah, it's reminds me of is it Madagascar with the zebra and he finds all the other zebras.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

We actually just showed that to the kids a couple months ago for the first time ever.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

Yeah, but and and life is like that, right? And so the thing is as adults, we make it hard to put ourselves out there. But when you show yourself friendly, you'll find friends. And when you show yourself to be um community tight and open to community and go into those spaces, then you'll find your people. So be brave.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Go out there. And this is important because you were talking about this, and I'll talk about it further, that it can feel so lonely when you start your own business, especially when you're starting to talk about the concept with maybe family members who don't get it. Who why would you want to start a business? Sounds so scary. Why would you give up your career if you're not talking to the right people? No. So this is where you find your community and you can start to really develop the idea further with help. This is where you can join things like score. Score is free and it's amazing. And you can find it, it's a US-based, and you find it based off of what state you're in. I'm sure you can find something like that if you're in a different country. I know that this podcast is global. So there are so many things out there. There are Facebook groups. If you're not on social media, score, Google it, find other groups that are off social media. I have found it to be incredibly helpful to have people who are where I'm at, behind where I'm at, and ahead of where I'm at.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Having that being my my own village. And if you think of it like a tree, how many people is it? And there's actually studies that you're the sum of, I think the five, I think five people.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

So think about that. Are these people who uplift you and everything? And I'm sure these are people that you've had to lean on during these hard several months that you've had.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Yeah. I think that's important. And this is where I think a good coach or mentor comes into play. And so I again, I tell people, you always get the people who say, I can't afford it, right? And I'm like, it's not always about the money, it's about someone that you trust who speaks life into you, who you want to be like in a certain way or capacity, right? And they can kind of help guide you in your journey. So you trust them enough to kind of be wrong with them and tell them the thing that you want to accomplish. But that is definitely where coaches come into play in the sense that you should always find a coach who has done the thing that you want to accomplish, has the receipt. So be careful with that. But they can basically show you this is how you'll get to your next place because I've walked that out.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

And that's weird than they did.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah. And so you can leverage that experience so you don't have to bump your head the same way they did.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

So, what does that have to do with you talked about grace? How does timing play into this?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Timing plays into everything. I think more people don't consider capacity, which goes into time. And so one of the things I talk to my clients about, and I'm big on, is alignment. And so if I have someone who is like me with aging parents and they may still have younger children, if you don't have the capacity for the thing that you want to accomplish, it can be an amazing idea. But if you don't have bandwidth, it's just gonna not work. It's gonna be frustrating, it's gonna be a very hard thing to do, and you're gonna find yourself burnt out because you either don't have the support, you don't have the systems, or you don't have the capacity, which ties into your time. And it's so important to make sure that you are aligning those things. And so when we talk about that up front, we're talking about let's do a life audit. What are your non-negotiables? What does that look like? How much time are you actually at in your day? Are you still working in your day-to-day job and you're trying to start a business? And so, how much time realistically can you put into that business? And if it begins to scale and grow, will you be able to walk away from your employment, right? Does it is it gonna hold your benefits? Or will you have to keep your employment in order to continue your business? You have to decide at some point what's your breakaway point. Some people can't break away right away because they're not ready to take on the responsibility of having their own benefits for their family, right? And so all those things need to be looked at and need to be decided upon. So when we say, let's do a life audit. Let's talk about what capacity you have, what are your non-negotiables in your life? What are the things that you can walk away from and what are the things you can't? Because you can't start and scale a business with no time. It's not gonna happen for anyone.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

What I was thinking about are the people who have those ups and flows. Half the reason why that happens is because you're not prepared for it.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Right. And especially for somebody who they are emotionally, and we are emotional creatures, we forget this, we and then we put logic into the emotion of why we chose something. And we can be so stuck on I still need to keep this career because of fear, and then it can create that ebbing in our business. Things are doing well, this is when we should transition, but we're afraid. So then it starts to ebb away. How many people decide to go for it and start their business and they don't realize that they're not quite ready yet? I think there's more than what we know.

unknown 17:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

More than what we know, but I think also there's a difference between self-trust is when there is the fear. Every entrepreneur, every successful entrepreneur has a level of self-trust where they're willing to trust themselves enough to take that leap off of the ledge. And those that don't won't. And they just continue on a nasty cycle most of the time. There's a few that finally get the courage up where either life happens where they mess up at work so bad because they're so tied in between and burnt out that they have to push everything into the business, right? And so then they do well because now it's sink or swim. But for those that start the business and they're not ready, a lot of times it's because they don't have the logical keys, which goes back to SOPs, the workflows, the processes, the roles' responsibilities, understanding fully the capacity they need to start the business, the resources they need to start the business. And so it's really important again to have the mentor or the community or the resources where you can tap into to get that information so that you can be best prepared to lean into the thing that you say you want to do. So you don't get murdered down because you'll find that you're running in place and you're like, I'm doing all the things, but I'm not making progress. And it's well, you're not doing the right things. So let's talk about what's the right thing for the thing that you want to accomplish, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

And it's so hard. You go into business thinking, I'm gonna do this part, and it's so fun, and then you forget that you're actually asking for more adulting stuff, the boring stuff, the more paying bills. Maybe you're somebody who's really good at the organizational stuff, or maybe you're not, and then you find out that you need to be more of one or the other than you expected, and it's there's a lot there. What advice or words of encouragement do you have for somebody who they are ready, they are at the starting blocks, thinking of the running analogy, but they have the distinct impression not yet.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Oh, that's a mic. And I think one of the first things is that you need to have outside of understanding your capacity is why you want to do the thing that you want to do. Because if you don't have a why that is strong enough to hold you when you're not motivated, when you are having a bad day, then you're gonna walk away, right? And so if you are thinking, I want to do this thing, but I'm not sure if it's the right time, there's never gonna be a right time as you're having children.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

When I get to X amount of money, yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yeah, it's never the perfect time. And so it's really about you willing to do the work and make the commitment. And so when we talk about the capacity piece and we talk about the time piece, then it is okay, I can commit to doing this thing this amount of time during the week so that I can achieve success in my business. And so that's a commitment. And the self-trust comes in because when you make a commitment to yourself, when you keep it, it increases your self-trust, it increases your confidence because you're showing yourself that first things first, you can keep your word to yourself. And that does wonders for your self-esteem, more than anything else in the world. For you, the sky is the limit.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Those are the people who glow that I want to be around compared to the people who are so selfless they're not taking care of themselves. Because those people want to hear about me, which can be fun sometimes. Sometimes you want to talk about yourself, right? But for me, I have a lot more joy in hearing about somebody else and getting those oh aha moments, or oh, that's that connected something else for me that I've wondered about that I never took the time to really go beyond just well, I wonder and then move on to the next thought. Have you ever had that conversation with somebody and you're like, there's that puzzle piece right there? Or oh, I'm interested enough about that, I'm gonna go Google it later. Those are the conversations that I want. I'll I'll be okay for five minutes talking about myself, and then I'm like, and now I'm done because I know about myself. I want to hear about something else, right? And then my thought is for those who the timing's not right yet, because you need to wait for your child to be potty trained, or you know, whatever, or you need to wait until you're done. With your degree, or you need to have something paid off to whatever life so that you can get there. It sounds like it's going back to doing an audit. So you know when the timing's right. Maybe this is the time where you start joining groups, and maybe instead of actively participating, you can be a little bit of a stalker, but not a stalker. What would be a better word? Like you're more just peering through the window.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

You're not actively participating, but you're actively learning and gaining information. And you can be joining maybe other groups or going out and talking to people who would be your ideal client. You can be getting market research this way. There's other things that you can be doing to be preparing. And you can think of it like that tree. You might not be seeing the buds, you might not be seeing the growth up top, but you're growing your roots. Yeah. So I've had to struggle through that myself. I feel like I'm not growing where you can really see it. I can feel stuff happening down below with the roots, but come on now. And it's that reminder of anybody who has spent any time around plants, it can look like nothing's happening. And then all of a sudden there's a shoot, and then it starts growing from there.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

I love that analogy. I think that does resonate a lot. And I do have that a lot from my clients, but I give them all a plan of action. So one program, they get a 90-day plan of action, another program they get one up to a year. But I do find it clears the clutter in their brain a lot, right? We come up with courses of action and we put that into a plan of action. And so it becomes very clear to them immediately like, I may not be able to do these things right now, but I can do these other things in parallel. And so they're not losing momentum because they feel like they're doing something or they can do something. And so it is keeping that engagement. I think the science of getting rich is the book. And he says, we owe it to our highest self and to our creator every day to get up and do everything in our ability towards moving towards getting rich. But the way I like to convey that is you do everything in your power every day to move towards achieving your goals, right? So if you set your goal to launch a business or to re-baseline and scale a business or to pivot or whatever the goal is, to lose 20 pounds, right? Do everything in your power every day to get up and to move towards your goal. And so I apply that every day in life. As a woman of older age, you can start being more concerned about your health. And so I am very intentional about every day I gotta get up and I gotta move my body. Every day I gotta get up, gotta watch what I eat. Doesn't mean I can't have a bag of chips, but I can't have a bag of chips every day. Okay. So we just have to learn to be intentional that way and everything that we commit to in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

I like that. And that reminds me of another podcast episode that I listened to where she talked about you can take kitten steps instead of baby steps because those are smaller. Yeah. And if you think about that, it can feel so painful, right? That it's going that slow. But when you look back, the fact that you even took those steps, you're getting further than if you never did anything, if you waited for everything to be perfect.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Absolutely. Progress over perfection every time. And the other thing I say is you set three goals a day, but one is a non-negotiable. So what's the one thing you're gonna do today? If you get it done, great. If you can get the other two done, great. But if not, we're gonna celebrate the one, okay? We're gonna celebrate all achievements. And so don't look at it like, oh my god, I only got one thing done. No, but you made progress. That's okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

And what was the other part? There are a few things that I want to pick off over the topic that you said you wanted to speak on. Where does faith come into this? Whether you're religious, whatever higher power you believe in, how do you bring faith into your business? Because for so many people, they keep them separate.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

I believe that I am one person. I'm not fragmented, I am not separated. Even though women we wear many hats, right? I am a mom, a daughter, a sister, I am a grandmother. I could give you a list of 20 things, but they all make and encompass me, right? And I think my faith and what I believe very much is the foundation of what I stand on, and it is the foundation of how I embody my business. And so even though I coach women in business, my faith in that is like I'm gonna show up as my best self and I'm gonna show up and give them my best because that's the type of person I have, and that's how I embody my faith. I embody my faith by showing you in faith who he is through me, because I'm a Christian, right? And you may not be a Christian, and that's okay, but that's how I embody my faith. And everything I do, I want to do it in excellence, so in integrity. And so when you get to know me, you're gonna be like, oh wow, I haven't heard her curse because I don't curse, right? I'm big on my words, I'm big on being intentional about my words. So I tell my clients, uh-oh, we gotta talk nice to ourselves. We only speak lay. So let's celebrate something. If you're having a bad day, I'll listen to it the first time, then I'm gonna say, okay. Next time, uh-uh-oh, we did that last time, let's fix it. How are we gonna fix this? What does that look like? And so I show up authentically as me embodying what I believe to be God in my business, but also as my person and my persona and my language.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

I love that. And the idea of not having as many masks. Yeah. Because you're just you're just leaving as what you get every day. How much energy savings is that alone? And the fact that you're allowing that inspiration to come. Yeah.

unknown 28:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

So I don't clock it. I am I'm very open with my clients that I'm a person of faith. I don't beat you over the head with it, right? I've had all types of clients, and so, but I don't not express it. I allow you to be authentic and autonomous, but I'm also the same way.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

And that feels refreshing that if you allow yourself to be that way, it's so much easier to allow somebody else. Where I've found in areas of my life when I have been unreceptive to certain parts of people, it's because I'm not receptive to those parts of myself. Yeah, those are parts that I need to heal. No, it's been very interesting. The other question is ambition because we can become over-ambitious. So it sounds like a lot of this is let's come back to your goals. Let's come back to instead of the shiny object syndrome, let's come back to everything that we have set up foundationally. What else helps to keep alignment?

SPEAKER_01 29:05

I was gonna say, I think it is really based around your personal and your core desires, right? And the reason I say this, and also say knowledge and wisdom and mental capacity, because everybody doesn't have that depth in order to manage millions, billions of dollars, because you have to become that person to handle that, right? And so it's an honest conversation that you have to have with yourself. And I really don't believe that you can go further than where you are here, because as you think you become. And so it is just about honesty, it's about self-awareness, it's about doing the work and whether you think you can or you can't, right? So I don't think ambition is a bad thing as long as it is alignment, as long as there is balance, as long as you're not chopping someone else up to get up the totem pole. You're actually putting in the work and you're showing up and you're still living life. So a lot of people prefer go living life to climb a ladder, and it's you get to the top of the ladder, and it's like, okay, what am I doing here? Where'd everybody go? And so it's just making sure that you have a foundation, a grounding, I'll say, and then you also have capacity for it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

I've noticed the biggest part that helps in growing a business is taking care of yourself, having those boundaries. Oh, yeah, and making sure that you are authentically yourself. And the best way to do that is healing yourself. It's amazing how much comes up from owning your own business. I grew up with business owners as well, so I've been around that. And it's amazing how much your business grows or shrinks based off of how are you taking care of yourself? What are your boundaries? Are you visualizing the next steps? And are you getting out of your own way? Are you putting hurdles in front of yourself and then getting mad when you're getting tripped up, when you're the one doing it to yourself? It can be so frustrating to have the friction, and the friction is you. Self-sabotaging. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

And it totally goes around along with honoring your purpose when you're not clear on your vision. It makes it hard because you keep course correcting, but you're not sure where the course is. Yeah. I've been around those people. How long does it have full-time experience? Oh yeah. And it can be very frustrating and it goes with the question of when do you either sink or swim? When do you know which is bet the better course to do when you're struggling?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Like I mentioned before, self-awareness is key to so many things. Like I'm really big on self-awareness and taking moments for yourself. And if you've I talk always about self-care. I think self-care is a system. I think everybody should take self-care because if you're not capable, then it all goes away anyway. And it's for what? Right. And so that's the mindset you have to have. And then boundaries is the part that makes it all doable. Like I said, I unplug. It's like who unplugs in 2026? I do. But the reason I do that is because I understand that I am the non-negotiable in my business. And so there's no business without me. And so all the things that I want to accomplish with it, I have to be my best self in order to do that. And so when you talk about sinking or swimming, letting go and moving on and pivoting and all those things, some of it is best for you because maybe you're having a health crisis or maybe something's going on in your family and it's just not sustainable. And you have to give yourself permission to pivot and to let go so that you can be your best self, so that you can recover. And so then you can come back again, versus you wearing yourself into the ground, stressed on both sides, and it's just really not going to be a good outcome. Not to say that has to be the situation, hopefully, but um just using it as an example of one of the things that could be going on that could cause you to say, Do I fight another day? Or do I say, you know what, today I'm gonna stop fighting. Today I'm gonna let go. Today I'm gonna focus on me and I'm gonna make sure that I'm okay so that I can make sure that my family is okay. And then we can always come back and revisit this. I was talking to someone before about capacity with young children. And I explained to them that a mother who has a business who may be successful and they're ready to scale, she may not have capacity to scale, not because she's not mentally capable, but because she has young children. And it's better for her to show up at the ball games for the doctor's appointments than it is for her to scale a business. You can always start and run and scale another business. You cannot get those moments back. And if you don't have the personality to endure that and the regrets and possible rejection that the kids may have later on because you miss those moments because they're not gonna understand as children, then it's not the time. And so it's okay to say, I'm just gonna maintain the business and we're gonna take it slow, or maybe I'm gonna put this aside for now until later, depending on what it is, and if it can survive because you know times change so quick. But those are things that you just have to be honest with yourself and saying this is not the time.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

And it goes back to what you were saying before with you being older, and I'm looking like, no, I'm not seeing any of it. But anyway, we're gonna we're gonna take notes later. I'm like, what are you doing? What do I need to do? Anyway, this goes back to the wellness and my poster behind me. That when you are taking care of yourself, you can live longer and well longer. And it's amazing because as a society, we live longer, a lot longer than we used to. Very we used to live until 40, if we were lucky, yeah, crazy. And we did a tour of Annapolis a couple years ago, and it was interesting the way that people live back then and how many deaths were before. It was very eye-opening. And thinking about how many people don't achieve success until they're in their 50s and 60s, and why is that? And maybe now is the time when you're focusing more on your wellness, knowing that the space and everything will open up for you later to have that business, have whatever career that you want. But now you can focus on your children, like you were saying, going to the games. You can focus on getting enough sleep, you can focus on your nutrition, you can focus on movement. What skills do you need to gain for your goal that you have, for that purpose that you feel like you're being called to. And right now you're being called to prepare for that thing. That's what really came up for me when you were talking.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

I agree with that, and it resonates deeply. I think it's spot on, like in a season, the kids have gone and had grown, and I'm not really in hustle mode, right? Besides life, I'm like you said, have my nice little whip on, and I'm getting my walk-in and I'm drinking my water, and I'm making sure I'm eating right and just living life on my terms. And so I think all divine inspirations are coming easier because it's less noise, it's less things that are competing with it. And I can see that I seen a post and it said, most millionaires make their first million in 57, and most CEOs are like average 58 or 59, something like that. And so I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

It's nice to know for so many of the people who are listening right now, you have time. Oh yeah. And you can feel like what you're doing right now does not relate to where you're going. But let's talk about you, for example. If we're looking at your resume, did it feel like it did not connect? But now looking back, you see how it does.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Oh yeah. The first part of my life is by mistake. But no, you're absolutely right. Most of my founders, as women, they're either been in corporate and they're afraid to pivot into entrepreneurship because they don't want to start over, or they've been in the home. And as homemakers, they don't see their value. And so they're like, I really wasn't, you know, what do I have to offer? kind of thing. And so it's getting them out of imposter syndrome. It's getting them to understand that everything that they've done is human capital and it is now twos in their two box, and it has prepared them for this moment. And so when you think you're not prepared, you have so much wisdom and so much experience to bring into the space and so much value add to what you have to offer and not to take that for granted. Me personally, I'm like a unicorn, but I don't say that to my own horn. I went in the military. I was running from an abusive husband. I went into the military with young children and I did 10 years in the military. And while I was in the military, I got my bachelor's and my associates. When I got out of the military, I got two masters and two grad certs. And so I went from the military and I went to work at Deloitte, which is the best company in the world to work for, especially coming out of the military. And they gave me a laptop and they gave me a cell phone and they gave me a laptop lock. I didn't have an office. I could hotel, didn't have to go in the office at all. And from there, I went to work for CACI. And then I went to the government and bought back my military time. And so I went into upper management in the government and I was a program manager. And then I left the government after I bought back my military time. And I went to work back to being a government contractor, but I was working for myself. And so it was at that moment that I lost my brother to gun violence, and I stopped and said, I don't think I like who I am, and I need to change that. Started a nonprofit and started serving the community as I had this contracting business. And I realized in teaching and mentoring in the community, like, I think I like this. And so I put myself in some coaching programs and decided, okay, I'm gonna coach. I like coaching. And so I think now I'm a much more evolved person than God. But I was very type A, very logical, very masculine, very aggressive, very ambition-oriented because I had very humble beginnings. And I was coming out of survival mode, stuck in hustle mode, but I was determined to check all the blocks. And so I had the house, I had the car, the kids were doing all the things, and life looked like success on paper. But when I looked at myself, I wasn't happy and it wasn't successful. And I decided I need to change that. And so I think people more than anything need to be afraid not to walk away and not to be afraid to start over.

SPEAKER_00 39:48

And more than anything, don't be afraid to give yourself permission to change because you felt like you started over from zero each time, though. No, you are bringing experience, and so much of that comes over, especially for those who are stay-at-home moms. You have so many exact things built.

SPEAKER_01 40:11

First of all, that's project management 101. You are running a house, a budget, schedules, everybody's going different ways, competing priorities, and you do it like it's nothing. And the house stays clean, the laundry stays done, the kids are where they're supposed to be. And you can do it fast. Exactly. You don't even need to work full-time. So let's not discount that. Let's talk about it. But inventory control, listen. But yeah, I don't think like the normal person, I think. As I've talked to so many people, because I've done quite a few podcasts, I realize I have a logical thinking, which is very masculine, which comes from survival, comes from the project management and working in the man's world. But then now that I've allowed myself the freedom to pivot and to explore, right, what it is that makes my heart warm and everything, it allows me to, and I love hanging out with my grandkids to keep me curious, right? Um this is my best friends, but it has allowed me to connect and to be balanced. And so I have my female intuitive creative side, but also have my very masculine logical analytical side. And then I definitely have the God part of me that balances me out. And I I think in talking to so many people, as an introvert, I realized that everybody doesn't have balance.

SPEAKER_00 41:28

And so it's one more thing to just stand back and be grateful for because I didn't really was realize it was such a thing, an added thing, it's another layer of wellness that's like an up level of it, right? And we can have this wellness podcast, and it can go for decades because it's not a tiny umbrella, it's like a coliseum, you can cover so much, and the eight dimensions of wellness is just a concept one thing that can work, well, it's eight, but like there's so many other parts to it, and you just totally hit on it, and when we're not aligned with ourselves, things are so much harder. And what I found is when I'm more in the feminine mindset and energy, which I grew up in very masculine, I'm more energized, and I feel like it's not just that, but it's being true to myself, which is part of being in that energy as a female, that I'm naturally more energized, I'm more creative. Things just flow better. It's not me pushing that boulder up the hill, it makes the biggest difference.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

I think I'm my best creative self when I'm lounging and I'm relaxing and I'm soft and everything is smooth and it's flowing and I'm not fearing. I am the problem solver for everybody. And that's the reason I am plugged because I don't want to solve everybody's problems all the time. But I've gotten to the age and the place where I can say that. And so it's like, you know what? That boundary is gonna be I'm gonna turn my phone off. And I might look at it and see you call and I'm not gonna answer because I told you I was turning it off. I'm gonna wait for you to text me and see if it's important. But it's because I know I'm my best self and I need that time not just to regroup, but also to heal. Because when you're going through life and life is like bumper cars just banging you around like a ping pong ball, it's like, wait a minute, let me take myself out of that, let me breathe, let me detox, right? I call it detoxing from people because everybody dumps on you. And it's like, no, no, no, no. This is not a trash can. And so let me detox from you, let me regain my own thoughts and my own zen and my own peace. Okay, I can go back and face the world again, but I think it's so needed. So I agree with you 100%.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

And I think it's more than that. And this is something that you call your clients out on. Are you dumping on yourself? Yeah. So it's getting away from the noise of everything else. And then when you're by yourself, oh, what's going on here? What do I need to clean up here within myself? Oh yeah. Yeah. So maybe it's not just dumping out the tr the trash, but then cleaning that trash here. So tell us about your ideal client. Let's start there. Your ideal client and then where to find you.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

My ideal client are female founders, typically 40 plus, who are doing all the things, but not quite getting them right. And so I help them get clear in their business, create a plan and a strategy, and then hold them accountable to execute until they get it done. And so that tells you that if they're young, they're not my client. Why? Because older clients, women, founders, they understand that time is not on their side and they have to get to it. And so younger people are just pretty indecisive and they're looking for more information. No, my personality is okay, let's get to work. Why? I love to see something go from idea to completion. And so even though I'm working with them, it also feeds me because I love to see something come to fruition. It tells you they're productive, right? They're doing stuff, they're just not doing the right stuff, which is where I come in. And so there's a yin and yang, it's a done with them service. And so they consult with me and I coach them. And sometimes it is a mindset around personal development and just habits and how they see themselves and how they're showing up. Because you can never go further than you see yourself. And it's like community.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

Does it matter how long they've had their business?

SPEAKER_01 45:43

I've had clients that have had businesses for different timelines. I've had clients who were distorting clients who were indoor business, not consistent, right? They were treating it as a hobby and decided they want to take it serious. And they didn't have the operational pieces and the structure. And so we fleshed all that out. Then I've had clients who passed successful business had a regular revenue, but then they wanted to pivot and do something different, and they wanted to see how that would play into their current business. And so I helped them flesh that out as well and look at what that would look like from a trajectory perspective.

SPEAKER_00 46:11

That sounds fun. It definitely sounds very creative and feminine energy free. Yeah. So where can they find you? They're like, yes, she can. I feel myself connecting with her. I want to find out more.

SPEAKER_01 46:25

My website is Chonda-CO.com. And my socials are Chonda2 underscores CO. So Instagram, TikTok, and maybe Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

All the social media.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

How the social media.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

Okay, perfect. Thank you. I really enjoyed this conversation. And for me, the things that stood out are really making sure that I have done the work of really flushing things out, flushing out my timing, and that's where you come in. And I love that you also work with people who want to have a pivot within their business and want to see if that will work. So you're the person that let's slow down and really take the time to really think everything through so that we can speed up in the right direction. Absolutely. Slow down, speed up and go here, change direction. And also making sure that we're authentic and that we're taking the time to unplug and deeply care for ourselves, knowing that we want to live a long, full life. And the business is part of it, but it's not everything.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

No. Your life should not be wrapped around your business. It should be vice versa. Your business should just fit right into your life. It shouldn't be you trying to move everything around like a Rubik's Cute.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

And we're told to start a business because then it'll take less time and we'll gain all the success. But then when we get in there, we think, oh, we'll just put more time and more money into it. And then we realize we're not doing the things we wanted to do. This is the reasons why we started the business. So I love that you are taking the time from the beginning of let's set up all the boundaries so that you're not losing yourself. That's true. Because if you do that, what's the point? I don't know. Yeah. And that is something that we ask as we get older. I want to waste my energy on this. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for this conversation and for being on.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Thank you for having me. It's been absolutely amazing for sure.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you found the answers that you needed and you had some amazing aha moments. Please share this episode with others because it helps us align ourselves and then better align the world so that we can seek the healing that we really are looking for. As part of the legal language, I am a certified life coach with a bachelor's in applied health. That is what I am leaning on for this. This is general advice taken aside. See you in the next episode.