Reflections on Life and Loss with Author Minnie Lee

What if you could find hope and healing after a devastating loss? In this heartfelt episode of Gentry's Journey, we are joined by the incredible Minnie Lee, who opens up about the profound story behind her book, "A Part of Living is Dying." Starting with a scripture from Colossians 3:14, Minnie shares her emotional journey of losing her children and how her faith and community played a pivotal role in her healing process. Her testimony underscores the power of writing as a form of reflection and the importance of understanding death as a transition to eternal life.

Navigating grief is a deeply personal experience, and in today's episode, an instructor shares her poignant story of delayed grief after losing a close family member while completing her degree. She discusses the challenges of putting her own grief on hold to support others and the eventual emotional release that followed. Through this conversation, we emphasize the significance of a relationship with Christ as a source of comfort and guidance during life's most challenging times. We also touch on the process of writing and publishing a book, focusing on the message of God's enduring love and support.

As we conclude, we shift our focus to the healthcare professionals who face the frustrating reality of patients neglecting their health. Through compelling anecdotes, we highlight the importance of valuing life, self-care, and the role of spiritual belief in navigating these difficult situations. Minnie Lee's insights into her book, "A Part of Living is Dying," provide a deeper understanding of finding purpose and fulfillment despite life's hurdles. We wrap up this episode with a heartfelt prayer, expressing gratitude for life’s blessings and encouraging listeners to seek divine guidance and assurance. Join us for this enlightening conversation that encapsulates the essence of faith, community, and the healing power of the written word.

Transcript

Death and Living

Speaker 1 0:00

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to Gentry's Journey. Our honored guest today is Minnie Lee. We have been knowing each other for years, but we're gonna always. We're gonna start with a scripture and then I'm going to let her introduce herself. Above all, clothe yourself with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and that comes from Colossians 3, 14. And again we have Mrs Minnie Lee and we have we met, I think, in school or work or somewhere, many, many years ago, both, maybe Both maybe I think we met on the job and we both was attending the same school at that time At that time.

Speaker 1 0:49

That's what it was. That's what it was. So we've been knowing each other for several years and we studied together, we carpooled together and we decided our best study group would be the two of us, because we could get more done anything over two. We found out the hard way was not the best way right many ideas too many ideas and and it didn't stay focused on the assignment was what bothered me too many trails, too many rabbit trails.

Speaker 1 1:25

That is so true. Now, ms Minnie, if you will introduce yourself and tell us about your book, I would appreciate it, and when did you decide to write the book?

Speaker 2 1:48

Well, it was like it was a leading. I was just sitting in my little I call it my sit with God chair and having a conversation with the father and I at that time I had had so much trauma in my life at that time I don't guess you'll call it trauma, but disappointments with the depths of my two children, which was really three children and I just was kind of in shock and I said well, lord, just tell me what happened. I said I'm not angry with you. I said but what happened? And the Holy Spirit just said well, write it out. And I started writing. I just started writing, not knowing that this was going to turn out to be a book, but it just everything just fell in place.

Speaker 2 2:33

I was led to let a girl read it and she happened to be an editor and she said oh. She said yeah, ms Lee, that'll be a good book. And he said people need to hear that and read that. You know, I didn't take her word. I went to another. I went to another person. I said read that. And and they, they had the same thing. And so from there it just got to be a book. And then when I had lunch with the young lady, I found out that she was a granddaughter of a young lady that she and I was friends in my old church when we were children. Growing up, we went to the same church and she told me who her grandma. I said that's your grandmother, she said. I said well, I'm here with her granddaughter. I said this is amazing.

Speaker 2 3:28

You know that just was really amazing to me Just happened like that, yes, small world, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 3:38

I like the inspiration behind it. And to write our feelings down, yes, please do. Gives us that release or that breakthrough that we don't know we need, but it helps, right. So the title of your book, death, is a Part of Living, correct?

Speaker 2 3:59

Well, that's the title I had formulated for it, and when I gave this manuscript to my pastor, he came back with a part of living is death dying. And I said, well, you know, listening to that, that sounded more appropriate. Because we live first. Sure, so we live, and, and death is a part of it. Sure, so we live, and and death is a part of it. Because, see, what a lot of us don't understand is we gonna die, but it's not forever. Amen, amen, it's another, there's another life after death. Okay, see, I don't believe that. So this is a part of that dying. We have to die to get to that everlasting life. Okay, okay, and it's appointed to us one time to die, okay, that's if you believe in the word of god. If you believe it or not, it's gonna happen amen.

Speaker 1 4:54

Now, that's very, very true. That is exceptionally true.

Speaker 2 4:58

Oh, your pastor kind of refined your title, basically yes, yes, you know, that's a blessing um that you have such a relationship with him well, he don't even know that I changed the title of it because you know he's such a busy man I I didn't even know he was going to have time to you know, like, look through it. And then when he wrote that forward, he put up at the top of there, a part of living is dying. And the young lady, the editor, she had given me several titles she said to choose from after I named it. So when this was one of the titles that she had given me, so I said, well'm, that's one of the another reason I chose it, I said yeah, I'll just put this on the front of it instead of death okay, uh and yeah.

Speaker 1 5:56

And I was uh when I was reading it. I was reading it the other day and I was like, oh, manny got her passes to do her forward. So I was like, okay, manny, I know they really appreciate you and value you as a member, but I was like she got him to do the forward. You know, that's wonderful, that was absolutely. I told him. I said if they had time and if he wanted, she got him to do the full word.

Speaker 2 6:24

You know, that's wonderful, that was absolutely wonderful. I told him I said, if they had time and if he wanted to and I was really. You know, if he hadn't I still would have felt the same way about him, but he did and I appreciate that. Oh, absolutely so. I just think uh-huh.

Speaker 1 6:41

So that's wonderful, though, because I I one thing, you're respecting his time, and then you know um the adoration that it appears that he had for you. You know, hey, let's do this, and he didn't just hurry it up either.

Speaker 2 6:56

You know, he took his time right now I I say it just brought tears to my eyes. I said, wow, you never know. I remember talking to a lady many years ago when I was much, much younger, and she was just talking and she said, yeah, like I'd be praying for you and your family. I said, oh, you pray for me. She said, yes, I pray for everybody. And I said, wow, that just amazed me, because, you know, we don't ever know who's thinking about us that?

Speaker 1 7:24

Wow, that does amaze me, because you know we don't ever know who's thinking about us. That is so true Challenges. I know you had to relive the situations the death of your children, no-transcript.

Speaker 2 7:38

Yes, I had to stop and start, stop and start. Sometimes I stopped for a whole week, but the house spirit just kept digging at me. Finish that, finish that, finish that you know, Because I had questions like anybody.

Speaker 2 7:52

You know, absolutely. I said, you know, it was just like less than a year. And then my son, that was the third one I said wow. I said what's going on here? And I know it's nothing personal against me. You know I'm praying every day and believe in God, but I tell you, you know, god is a sovereign God, he is, he's a sovereign god, he is, he's a sovereign god, he is. And just because I pray, that don't mean that things not gonna happen to me, absolutely, absolutely. And so you have to trust god. We have to trust god and have to know that god loves us. Amen. And you have to keep meditating on that to get it down in. You ain't gonna let nothing happen to me. One and then he brought back to me you know, I told you about all those deaths that he showed him, and I often remember, you know, I know several people, several ladies, that their children died too. And who am I to?

Speaker 1 8:57

just this thing that's supposed to be obsolete no, and you know I was thinking the other day we make plans, we all make um, even if it's just for tomorrow or next week or next month. Well, next year, you know, let's go on a cruise. We all make plans to do something. We all make plans to fellowship and I know you enjoyed the fellowship that you had with your children, especially around the holiday. And when I was reading I was like we make plans as we should. Okay, we're not invited. You know the seat of our pants.

Speaker 1 9:35

But at the same time, when I was reading through that's one thing we don't necessarily quote unquote make plans for Now. We know that. You know, as a man is born, you know he is going to die. But we don't say well, you know, I know, you know, on this day and this time I'll be gone. You don't think like that. You think about living. That's true. How old you are, how young you are, we always think about living. That's true. How old you are, how young you are, we always think about living. And it's hard pills to swallow, you know, when you lose a loved one I know everyone can relate to that Very hard pills to swallow and you have to go through that grief period and no one can tell anyone how to grieve or how to grieve and I often have to tell people.

Speaker 1 10:30

You can't tell people. It's time for them to start grieving. Who are you? You know you. You don't know where their mind is. You don't know what they're going through you don't know the love you don't know, the support you you know. Let them handle that on their own, please, because you know it's always somebody trying to tell you something it's best to listen, I agree I agree and I have found sometimes people don't want to listen because I think they don't want to think of their own life situations.

Speaker 1 11:08

I don't think they don't want to listen out of disrespect, I just think they don't know what to say.

Speaker 2 11:15

That's it, that's why I say be quiet. Uh-huh, if they ask you something, you don't try to be as honest and loving as you can with that. We can grieve, but don't grieve yourself to death. No, it's nothing wrong with grieving you, and everybody has to go through a grief process.

Navigating Grief and Finding Comfort

Speaker 1 11:35

It can be therapeutic, that's for sure. But one thing for sure if you don't when we were and I don't know if you took this class with me it was called Death and Die, and I don't know what about that class? I wanted to be a part of that. The instructor was fabulous and she brought up some points regarding delayed grief, because she was finishing up her degree when she lost a close family member.

Speaker 1 12:10

And people look to her to try to bring things together. And she said I had to delay my grief. And she said I'm not saying that's the healthiest way, but it had to be done that way. And so you know, a month or so later she said I was had finished the program, everything was done, and she just basically fell apart. You know, with that and people ask her why she cried and she's telling they were like, but that was, that was a couple of months ago, she said, but it still happened I can.

Speaker 2 12:46

I can relate to that, I can truly relate to that.

Speaker 1 12:50

I could, I can as well. Um uh, so can I uh in you, don't you do what you have to do, exactly Exactly. For people you're there to support. Pull it together, make sure everybody else is okay, but sometimes, when you're alone and everything's done, is when your grief process starts.

Speaker 2 13:15

And that's when a relationship with Christ is very important because he will be a comforter to you. Amen, he will. It's very important because he will be a comforter to you Amen. He will, he's going to give you some words of comfort, absolutely.

Speaker 1 13:30

And he truly is going to soothe your soul. Oh, yes, he truly is going to soothe that soul. Now I know you said you had to take breaks during your writing process, so there was no timetable for what you were doing no, because, as I said, I wasn't even expecting this to turn out to be a published book. I was writing to get some some, some clarity for me now um, I know it's still early because your book is new. How long has it been out?

Speaker 2 14:05

Since May? I believe, Since May.

Speaker 1 14:08

Because when I saw it, or when you sent it to me, I immediately, you know, went and purchased it. I immediately, and I thought that was maybe a couple of weeks ago, but that's wonderful, you know, because everything is on everyone else's timetable. I'm not saying this about me, you know, but when we talk, you know you had you never really mentioned it, and that's fine, that's absolutely okay. I'm not saying I am to be the first to know, but when I saw it it made me smile. I was, I was, I was proud of you. Um, when I saw the title, I was like, yes, let me get this right now. Um, and I read it just last week and, um, I think I text you back, uh, on how well it blessed me. Well, I-hmm.

Speaker 2 15:01

Well, I didn't know that because I had the reservations. I don't know what I was thinking. I was publishing a book. You know you have to advertise a book, and so when the girl said, what am I sleeping on? I can fix your flat. I said well, okay. And people were asking different questions. I said, well, okay, well, okay, whatever. And somebody asked about the cost. I said, oh, I think it's $10.

Speaker 1 15:30

Well, it's okay, because there are several things with this. The biggest thing is you're a new author, so all this is new. This is new territory. This is not about the patients that you care for, okay yeah, it's like I was.

Speaker 2 15:48

I was trying to get some clarity, but then someone pointed this out to me and then and writing a book, you know, and Lord just want people to know certain things I said, well, the book really wasn't just about me, it was, it was for for everything he does for us. It's not purposely, purposely for us, it's for others also. And then I said, shucks, I don't want no notoriety. And then I remember, a long time ago, the Lord spoke to me and said anybody call my name gonna call attention to this hell. And I said people be talking about the book. He said they talk about my book. True, I mean it, you know. It was like I was like Moses trying to make excuses. Now what?

Speaker 1 16:31

message would you want your readers to take away from this?

Speaker 2 16:38

one thing I like for them to know is that God loves us. He really loves us. He went through a lot to purchase us back so we can have a relationship with him and everything we need is in him, in Jesus Christ, amen. And you know, I know that there's people they think you know they're just just some you're saying. But he is real and he'll be real to you and he'll be real for you, amen.

Speaker 2 17:09

And he never told us every day was going to be easy. He said many of the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord will deliver you out of them all. And I learned this the path that we travel is a narrow path, right? Yes, okay, so it's going to get tight sometimes in the path, sure, but he gave us an oil called the Holy Spirit, right, that helps us ease through that slippery, slippery to that past and just slip right on through. No matter how tight he get in our lives, he's going to be right there because he never leave us nor forsake us. And and and people's people wonder you say you hear god, but he talks to us through his word. That's why it's important to stay in his word. That's true. Talk to us in his word.

Speaker 2 18:03

He talked to us through our friends yes he lets us know that he just like that that young lady I met for this book. I wasn't looking for an author. She found me and she was right there and play everything I need and and I said, you know, this was just orchestrated by him.

Speaker 1 18:22

Amen.

Speaker 2 18:22

Amen. I would love everyone to just have a relationship with Christ Jesus and to know that he loves us. There's nothing that happened to us, that he can't see us the way he tell us in his word, he'll provide us a way of escape, amen. We just got to trust him. Trust him and, just like we live every day, we gonna leave here and we do need to prepare to leave here. Amen, amen. Hey, and not just with buying a grave, grave plot, because we gonna have another life after this life.

Speaker 1 19:02

Amen.

Speaker 2 19:03

So so prepare, so you know where you'll spend your life after this life and that's true, that is so true, and I pray to help somebody to know that you, you may lose, you may lose a loved one.

Speaker 2 19:19

But that doesn't mean god don't love you and don't mean he's concerned about you. Because I gave those scriptures in that I, when my first son died, he gave me lamentations 3, 30 to 32 and then when, when my daughter died, he told me to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and I wanted her back whole. He gave her back. He said she whole and complete now. And then when this last son died, he gave me that scripture in Psalms 116 and 15. The Lord cried with us. You remember he cried at Moses grave but he raised them up, didn't he?

Speaker 2 20:09

Yes, raising them up. So we just have to trust God. I'd rather believe that than to believe. I'm not going to hey that I'll never see him again and I'm going to go somewhere and burn forever.

Speaker 1 20:20

Oh true, very true. Now, very true, very true.

Speaker 2 20:25

Like I say, whether we believe it or not, it's going to happen.

Speaker 1 20:32

Absolutely. Whether you believe or not, this is life. You know and we don't know, and you see so many people.

Speaker 1 20:45

We've come in contact with a lot of people by the two of us being nurses and uh, in the community, out the community, in the hospital, you know people, when we're caring for them, they're I mean, they have literally laughed in my face like I don't care what you talking about, I'm going to do what I want to do. And I was like, and that's obvious, that is very obvious, sir, you know, but they want your help, but they don't want to help themselves there you go, you be like here's that can help you, but they don't hear that.

Speaker 2 21:26

That'll work for you, but it won't work for me, but it'll work for anybody. It'll work for anybody.

Speaker 1 21:34

God will revive you. Oh man, I tell you yeah. And you see, people who I can't understand the amount of violence that we see and hear on the news, not just here but nationwide, and I don't understand. I don't understand it. But uh sure, as you live certain aspects of your life, you know either God's going to step in and change your heart if that's your desire, or, and some of them just say, uh well, if I go, I go and I'll be like wow, you know, so it's they don't care.

Speaker 2 22:23

See, that's craziness. There it is. That's craziness. You have to stop and listen to somebody and take another look at what you're doing. I agree, and that, just like the word said, that's a true sign that their eyes have been blinded.

Valuing Life and Finding Purpose

Speaker 1 22:47

I agree. I agree. I had one patient. He laughed at us as he got to feeling better because he started cussing us. I said, baby, I'm okay, I'm well, we're trying to help you. Look at you running. Now you want to run. I'm like we're running to help you. You know it was. He didn't take his illness serious enough we took it more serious than he did.

Speaker 1 23:21

Please let us do this. Please let us do this, please let us do that. You know, he just oh, look at you, look, I'm like is this a nut here or what we got going on? But I'm just saying we value life and some people just don't. They really don't Nurse or non-nurseurse, non-medical professional. We still value life. Because he had to value it some type of way. He kept coming through the doors of the hospital right.

Speaker 2 23:54

You want to live for sure, because he's coming to where he can get better. Absolutely Do the same thing.

Speaker 1 24:01

It's just like the reprobate mind. You just don't. You're going to do what you want when you want to, how you want to. That is what it is. That's what you have chosen to do, and it was really sad. But how can you care more for a person when they don't care for themselves? You can pray for them, that's right, you know. You can definitely pray for them. But the other part I'm like you know, because I'm not going to let y'all do anything else to me. I said well, sweetie, here is the leaving against medical advice papers.

Speaker 2 24:46

You can sign them and go. You can see right through that that God loves us better than we love ourselves. And now he gave his son to die for us so we can come back to him. And that's somebody that won't even take that role, won't even take care of himself, won't do it. God, giving him a day every day, giving him a mercy, and a day every day.

Speaker 1 25:09

Every day. And you know he's not the first one I've had and he won't. I've had one little missy that would tell me little missy, I know what I'm doing. I said great, but why do you keep showing up in my intensive care unit? But when he had that stroke, when he had that stroke, and he had a very debilitating stroke, he was not happy. Debilitating stroke, he was not happy. I can tell by his mannerisms and the glazed eyes that he gave me and I was like you purposely did not care for yourself. Wow, you, purposely, you know so. And I kept teaching him how this may end. You know you're going to end up having a stroke. You won't take care of yourself, you won't take your pressure medication. You know you won't do this, little Missy, I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 26:11

So I'm like okay, okay Now.

Speaker 1 26:15

he did not pass away, but he had to live with that, the paralysis and the inability to speak. So that was a death. In my opinion, that was a form of a death to him.

Speaker 2 26:29

Yeah, you know, when you've been independent, you don't want to be dependent on nobody.

Speaker 1 26:34

No, you don't. And he loved, he loved. He wasn't married. He had several girlfriends.

Speaker 2 26:43

he wasn't married, he had several girlfriends so he loved his women and he loved to dress. Too much freedom, too much freedom, he loved to dress.

Speaker 1 26:52

He enjoyed, you know he came and you could just tell you know. And I'd be like, sir, if the medication is not working for you, you could always speak to your physician. He can change this up and you know you'll still be able. Oh, little missy, you don't know what you're talking about and I was like, okay, then, babe, you know, but, as many times as he came in is as many times as I attempted to educate until you know.

Speaker 1 27:18

It got to the point where he had had that very large stroke and I was like this is what I was trying to avoid. Not that I said it to him, but to the nurses. I said this is what we were trying to avoid because we knew it was going to happen. So, um, now he can't um because nobody. And I've told my students this before when, when you educate your patients, you know be as honest with them as possible, because all the all the girlfriends he had, I'm sure they were walking away as they learned that he had had a stroke, because there's nothing sexy about that drool running down the side of your mouth. Ok, everybody's not fit for that. Everybody's not built to take care of all of that.

Speaker 1 28:05

You know. So we have to be mindful of the quality of life that we would like to live. That's another thing. It's about quality of life. So, ms Manning, what else do you have for me? What other points would you like to share with the audience?

Speaker 2 28:26

Well, I don't really have anything else. Just try to formulate that relationship with Christ. Study that word daily and believe what you read. Amen, and apply it to your life. Amen, amen. It's nothing hard about it.

Speaker 1 28:44

Well, just ain't nothing hard about that at all. It's nothing hard about it, that's right. Well, we know that prayer got us through school right. Amen, yes, it did. Many, many, many. You know it was great.

Speaker 2 29:02

It was great All the way. He took us, all the way.

Speaker 1 29:06

Yes, absolutely he did, and I still thank him for it and praise God and I tell people I don't feel as though I've worked 38 years, you know because I enjoy what I do, so it doesn't feel like.

Speaker 2 29:22

It was a place to go and play, absolutely I have enjoyed it. I really have Good people and it was fun, just like you say it was. It really was. They'll hear from a lot of those people and that's a good thing too, because people don't have to think about you, and that is very true.

Speaker 1 29:44

That's very true. I even run into people from time to time and I thank them for taking the time out to teach me how to be a nurse, and that's. I remember a lot of things you said and I remember I still tell people how gracious you all were, and so I'm still very thankful for that, because it's a team effort.

Book Review and Closing Prayer

Speaker 1 30:07

It is, it really is so, so that's great. So give us the title of your book, where they can get your book, and then if you would close us out in prayer, that would be wonderful.

Speaker 2 30:21

Okay, the book is A Part of Living is Dying by Minnie Lee and it's available on Amazoncom, and I'd appreciate it very much if you go back and write a review after you read the book, good or bad, however you feel about it. Because I said to God be the glory, amen, amen, okay, so we just bow our heads and talk to our Father. I want you to know he hears and he answers prayers. Jeremiah 29 and 11 says when we call on him, he listens to us. Amen, heavenly Father, we just come in the name of your dear son, jesus.

Speaker 2 31:12

We thank you, lord, for all that you've given us. Thank you for the air that we breathe. We thank you, lord, god, for friendships. We thank you for the fellowships. We thank you for your love. We thank you, lord, god, for friendships. We thank you for the fellowships. We thank you for your love. We thank you for you keeping us safe in your arms and we thank you that you always go before us and you always perfect those things that concern us. And, lord, we want you to know that we love you and we appreciate you. And as we travel along the way, lord, thank you for guiding us and thank you for keeping us safe and Lord, if there's anyone that need a word, lord, allow your Holy Spirit to direct us. And Father, open up their ears that they may hear and know that you are with them. In Jesus' name, we do pray and everyone say Amen.

Speaker 1 32:05

Amen, and that's right. Going back and doing the review is something I have not done yet, so I'm glad you reminded me, because they are important and anyone who reads your book. There should not be a bad review. Your book, there should not be a bad review. So we want a good review, but once you read it you know we can all relate on some level. So, yes, please go back and do a review.

Speaker 2 32:35

This came from her heart.

Speaker 1 32:37

I know her and it came from her heart and um, that's a beautiful thing. She loves the lord and she loves family. So, and thank you so much for joining us on gentry's journey. I have enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 32:52

I hope you thank you for inviting me to miss carolyn. You're more than welcome.

Speaker 1 32:58

You're absolutely more than welcome and we will you know, you, I, we will be talking soon. Oh yes, all right so.