Gentry's Journey
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Gentry's Journey
Faith, Music, and Mental Well-being: The Inspirational Odyssey of Thomas Ware
What happens when a pastor, mental health advocate, and gospel musician converges into one person? Meet Thomas Ware, whose journey is nothing short of inspirational. From sharing his holistic approach to pastoral care at the Uncommon Faith Center in Mineola, Florida, to discussing the spiritual and mental battles faced within the secular music industry, this episode promises profound insights and heartfelt stories. Thomas opens up about his life as a husband, father, and leader, emphasizing the transformative power of addressing both spiritual and mental health needs.
Dive into the significance of strong role models and leadership within families with us. Thomas and I tackle the growing issue of adults failing to set proper examples for the younger generation, and the critical need for maintaining boundaries and teaching respect. Our discussion extends to the impact of societal pressures and social media on mental health, highlighting the importance of genuine connections and prioritizing what truly matters in life over superficial achievements.
Discover how embracing vulnerability and seeking therapy can lead to profound personal growth. Hear about Thomas' latest musical release, "Letting it Go," and how it emerged as a spontaneous creation during worship, serving as a beacon of healing and hope. With shared prayers and heartfelt gratitude, this episode concludes on an uplifting note, encouraging listeners to stay connected and supportive in their own journeys. Join us for a conversation that intertwines faith, mental health advocacy, and the beauty of genuine human connections.
Good evening everyone. Welcome to Gentry's Journey. I am Carolyn Coleman and our honored guest is Mr Thomas Ware. I'm going to start off with an inspirational scripture, like I normally do Above all, clothe yourself with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and that comes from Colossians 3 and 14. Now, mr Ware has many titles and one of those is he's a pastor, so, forgive me, he's a mental health advocate. He's a singer and a songwriter. He's going to tell us about himself, his journey, and I also have some questions about him. His most current release is Letting it Go and he says it's a crossover hit, crossover hit. So he's going to tell us about that. He's going to speak about his profession as a mental health advocate, a singer and a songwriter and being on the billboards for his releases. So I am interested in definitely hearing about that. How do you get to where you are Singer, songwriter, mental health advocate so he has a lot of tools in his toolbox and he's going to open up and tell us about those things. All right, pastor Ware, take it away.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Where should I start? Start with your background.
Speaker 1:Start with your background. You're a husband, my background. Yeah, you're a husband, you're a dad. Start with that and just work your way through.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yes, I'm a husband. I've been married to my wife, tiffany Ware. She's coming on to 16 years now and we have four children, three boys and one girl, and we work together in everything that we do. We're in ministry together. She is a pastor as well and she and I have businesses together that we employ a lot of people and we do a lot of things within the community with helping individuals. A lot of counseling with marriages and even single counseling.
Speaker 2:I tell you the list goes on and on when it comes to that area of my life, with my wife and my children and my family, we have a church in Mineola, florida, the Uncommon Faith Center, and the church is a church filled with people from a lot of different places, different ethnicities, backgrounds, different experiences in life. We've been blessed to have them in our life and be able to lead them in the ministry and their walk with Christ. It's been amazing as far as going from that to when it comes to the mental health areas of life, one of the things that I have kind of engulfed myself in being a pastor. A lot of times it's frowned upon to view any other area of your walk in life outside of Christ or outside of the teachings of Scripture of Christ or outside of the teachings of scripture. But we see a lot of times and a lot of places, even within scripture, where Jesus did not just deal with people on a level of their spiritual walk, but he also dealt with people in their carnal walk as well, and so it really did do a lot of good for me to take a step back and view people holistically, because we are spiritual as well as physical in life. That it's been written in our memory forever what we've been through whether it be trauma, different things of that nature and these things stick with us for the rest of our life and a lot of times we never deal with it. So I love to approach ministry from a standpoint of, yes, we do deal with the spiritual being, because we know that what's in us is what comes out of us. So if we can become healthy on the inside, our actions can become healthy on the outside. And that takes more than just a prayer. It takes also walking with people and actually being able to talk with people get people to open up and speak about the things that they've been through and deal with those things so that they can start on more of a clean slate. Even in their spiritual walk they can see things from a true and realistic place. So those are some of the things that the journey has kind of taken me through in my ministry, but then it flows into my music ministry as well.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to just do songs that were songs. I do some songs that are very gospel based. Background it sounds like gospel music, it sounds like the traditional sound of gospel music. But then there is, I feel, that music is such For the gospel to enter in to people's mind and their lives and the messages that we send. When we look at, listen to the things that are played through, I would say secular music. On some scales of secular music, it is very, very harmful for people mentally, very, very harmful for people mentally. And so we see the actions of the groupies and the fans of rappers and different artists that put out a negative message, how this music enters into people and no matter what side of the globe you go on, the people who listen to that music. They dress the same, they look the same, they act the same. And we began to understand that there's a spirit attached to music. It's able to be taken through the sound, and so, with the sound of gospel, I wanted to be able to use this moment that my gift wasn't just for a shouting good time, but it was also an avenue to enter in as an evangelistic tool. Some of my songs don't sound like traditional gospel, but the message of the gospel enters into the ears of people of how the healing of God and how the healing is accessible, and those are the things that I focus on. When it comes to music, I really do want to be a tool that I'm not here just to entertain, but I'm here for ministry sake and if people can be healed or if they can be made whole or there can be some form of a beginning place for them, and my music has something to do with it. That's where I come in at, and I feel that that's my calling to the gift that God has given me. So the song Letting it Go is a song that was actually.
Speaker 2:I did not script this song out to be written as a song at first. I really was in the middle of praise and worship at my church and we had just got finished doing a worship set, singing and the musician kept kind of just the atmosphere of worship. Everyone in there was worshiping and all of a sudden I began to hear in my spirit the words everything that's holding me down, I'm letting it go. And I began to sing the song in worship. It came out. I never thought about writing a song. It just came out in worship and people began to cry and you just heard a sound in the house where people were just sobbing and singing the song with us.
Speaker 2:So after that I went forward and I went and recorded it. I recorded, I said, man, this is uh, actually a good song. And I let some people hear it and I let my radio guys hear it and they said, man, this is the smash hit. So we went back in into the studio and actually fine-tuned it and finalized it. Damon Stewart, one of the radio guys that works closely with me from IGA Talent Digital and IGA Talent Management, man, he said you know the song, you know we went back and forth on pieces of the song that that we could really fine tune the message.
Speaker 2:So we went back and forth for months of this until we came up with the finished version of the song and this is what we've released and it's actually taken strong, a stronghold inside of the music industry and so many people have given testimonies and have sent messages and they've done videos and all type of things throughout social media as well, with this song being their, uh, their their go-to song to kind of get them through the day. Some people say they start off in the morning with this song, um, just to remind them that they've been given this power by God that they can actually get past a lot of the things that they haven't let go of. So that's what takes me through the journey now to this point, um, um, where I am. And you know, when it comes to billboard, I never really uh, planned on, uh, or even thought about this song really reaching the level that it's reached. I really think that it's kind of a testimony that when God tells you, when he gives you something and you're a good steward of what he's given you, that he's the author and the real finisher of our faith, that the thing that he has started, he that has started this, the thing that he has started, he that has started this good thing, he will see it and it will see it to completion. And and that's what I see in this, this song he started this, he, he created this and started this uh piece, and and I know that he'll bring it to fruition. He'll bring it to fruition, he'll bring it to his fullness, and so that's where I'm at right now with everything. From there, I guess we could kind of daisy chain in from from music to.
Speaker 2:You know, I do so many things, so many hats. I dabble inside of the industry of movies. I'm a writer, script writer, as well as a director as well when it comes to that, as well as an author. So I can't, I kind of been blessed with a lot of gifts. I could, I guess you could say, a lot of times for me, it seems as if, though, these gifts can really seem to be, um, I would say, a torment in so many ways, is tormenting in so many ways, because I have so many things that I hear, um, that I want to get out, and it's like you just got to get it out, and it's like God continues to give me new songs almost every day, and so I'm often in studio recording new songs, but at the same time, I'm writing. When it comes to writing scripts for movies, writing books, writing things, I'm always doing something creative.
Speaker 2:Whatever God gives me, I try to get it out, because I feel like we only have a certain amount of time here, you know just a certain amount of time here and and you don't want to be a vessel If I believe God gives it to you, you have to act on it immediately. I believe, if God gives it to you, you have to act on it immediately. Let it out, you know, put it out there, write it, sing it. Whatever it is, you have to take advantage of the moment, because he didn't give it to you for no reason. He gave it to you because there is.
Speaker 2:Even if it's not for this moment, it's going to reach someone in the moment that is needed and you know, yeah, and it's like you know, if you're faithful and you do what he's given you, it's going to show somewhere down the road why he gave it to you. And that's been the story of my life and I think I just kind of I try my best to be a good steward and be faithful to what God gives me.
Speaker 1:I just kind of. I try my best to be a good steward and be faithful to what God gives me. That's a blessing. And you know, pastor, I often tell people or even encourage myself by saying God's perfect timing, yes, you have to. I mean, you can have it today, but this may not be the day that this needs to come out, be released or be said, but when God's perfect timing comes around, he will let you know that you can go ahead and release this, say this to this individual or put it on paper. So I agree with that totally.
Speaker 1:And sometimes you're so full, you have so much you want to say, you have so much you want to do, but you have to kind of slow down for a minute and say now which one is of the urgency or which one. When will I release this? When will I put this in print? When will I do that? You have a lot Sometimes. I do understand. Sometimes it's just overwhelming. As you said, you feel like there's a little bit of an urgency to it, but in the end it's God's perfect timing.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes and just to piggyback off what you were saying about secular music to a degree, the rap and things of that nature you know there's a spirit that goes with everything that's. You know that is song that is put out. And I was at work one day and somebody was saying, yeah, my nephew, he wants to be a rapper. And I'm like you know, yeah, I think a lot of people want to be, but they see the glam but they don't see the struggle.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And they don't realize there's a price to pay. You know I'm not going to call any names, but we have some famous rappers I said they're not out here trying to gang bang, they are here trying to count their money.
Speaker 1:They're trying to live a life. You know quality life, so you have to think about putting that out there as well. Yes, you know that might be what they portray, but is that really who they are? They right life behind. So, yeah, hopefully, hopefully that you will catch that before you get too far down the road and not be able to do that live a quality life right, it will swallow you up and I can.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah yeah, that world, it will swallow you up. I was before I started doing gospel music. I was in a secular side of music for a very long time, um, and I did tours with a lot of the big rap artists and I did pretty well. But it's just, you know, if you're not, and I feel for like me, kind of like for me. I kind of came out of a rough. I kind of had a rough life living. My life was kind of rough living. So I was very, very, very familiar with life, street life and things of that nature.
Speaker 2:But I see a lot of young people who are not really from that world in because they want the glam, they want to be fit into that scene. They get swallowed up and they lose who they are and unfortunately some of them never come back. Some of them never make it out of out of it once they're in it. So it's like, you know, it's the spirit, it really is, it's a spirit and it's the spirit, it's really is, it's a spirit and it's it's it's the way that we have to be. So you know, a lot of people don't believe in spiritual warfare and there is constantly a war for your soul in life and if you're not careful, you can easily have it snatched away.
Speaker 1:If you're not, careful, you can easily have it snatched away. And that is true. Yeah, it's like our parents used to tell us trouble is easy to get in, but it's hard to get out of. Yeah, you know, but you know. And my mom always says, when we were growing up, she would say and you know, praise God, she's still with us.
Speaker 2:If you're going to copy something, copy something.
Speaker 1:Good, yeah, yeah, that's a good one, that's a good one, because there's a lot you can copy out. Yes, but copy something, yes.
Speaker 1:So, it has to do, as you say, with your environment, has to do, um, as you say with your environment. Yes, you know you can be around 10 people and only nine are for you. You know, because it's just a crowd, it's just a group, you know, and when you get to this certain point in life, you recognize, as the title of your song goes letting it go. There are some things and some people you're going to have to let go in order to advance to that next level, reach and that praise god. You know that you're going to have to let them go because when you really look back, they're holding you back. They want you to stay just where they are.
Speaker 1:Everybody can have a piece of something. Everybody can have a piece of the pie. Everybody can have something that's a little bit better than what you have Not that you don't have better at this point in time, because everybody does not come from a socioeconomic background that is for lack of a better term lower Right. Everybody does not come from that. But the same people who come from a higher socioeconomic background can get in as much trouble as someone else.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Someone told me many years ago where they have the money to buy as much trouble as they want.
Speaker 2:And it hit me. I was like that's true, that's very, very true.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't have anything to do with that. It's the desire of what you really want.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I witnessed when I was in the life of in the world Heavy one of the things that I witnessed was that it was the individuals who came from great homes with money and didn't really have to work or anything.
Speaker 2:They were the ones fighting to prove they could live in the worst conditions yeah and um, it's like they just they just thought it was cool, but from what they heard, through music and everything else, they wanted to live a certain image, have a certain lifestyle that associated them with the bad boys and so and that's that. Unfortunately, it happens a lot and, you know, most of us would say to each other and like that person, you know, they, they, they got everything they want. Why are they here? You know what I'm saying, like what you know, wondering, why are they even where we are, when they had everything that we wanted? So, um, and but you know, that's kind of like that, that fresh, that that peer pressure verse, and and also, what's seen as popular through. You know, yeah, what's seen as popular through. You know, yeah, what's seen as popular is powerful. You have to.
Speaker 2:Really, you know, when you think about the imagery, um, I think about how Jesus Satan took Jesus up to the top of the kingdoms. He said all of this is mine, you know, I, I, I'll give it all to you. Kingdoms. He said all of this is mine, I'll give it all to you. And it was amazing that he came to tempt him with the one thing that Jesus had in common with the world, which was the body, that he was in the sins of the flesh. You know what I'm saying Of lusting for things, but he didn't find it in Jesus. He thought that just because Jesus was packaged in this body that he would be affected by the body. But he wasn't.
Speaker 2:But, but that's the same trickery that that Satan uses on humanity as a whole. If that is in you and you, you wish to be popular, you wish to be higher than others. You know a place. You know he'll offer you all of that. You know, just because he knows that that's what you'll bite on. And so that's been the trick for ages. And we still see it. And most of our young people right now are affected by what they see. They paint this picture that this is who's. You have to be a person that is cool in order for life to be good. And you know, when you get middle age and up in age, you start to realize none of that stuff really matters. At least some people do. I mean, we still have. We still have a great deal of people who, even in middle age and up and up in age, they still are fixated on imagery and hoping that the world sees them as as big, big people you know, and and so, sad as it is, I really do my heart goes out to people when I see them, uh, falling, them falling from that type of trickery.
Speaker 2:And I just wasn't taught. I wasn't taught growing up. I wasn't taught to look for, to live a life or look a certain way just to be praised. You know, my father used to always draw this little diagram for for us when we were young. It was called Mr Bugle and he would draw a bugle on the ground. He would draw a little man where you blow into the bugle and he would draw a big man where the sound came out. And he said you could be one of these people in life.
Speaker 2:You can either be the big man at the end where the sound comes in, and the bugle is the journey of life. When you get finished traveling through it, you'll come out smaller than life. But if you live humble like the small man and you travel through life, by the time you get to the end you'll be larger than life. But you have to stay humble. And so with that it's always lived with me. Through everything that I've been, I've never, really ever, been a person that wanted people to just praise me or or just needed all the attention. I've just never been that way, because I was taught different, you know, growing up. So yeah, unfortunately everybody isn't really, you know, in that mindset. You see it, so many places People are so arrogant and narcissistic and they have so many negative traits that just focus on self, and I just don't believe that that's a good place to be at with humanity, especially in this generation I agree with you.
Speaker 1:um, there are some people like you say they're middle age and they're running around as though they're 17 to 25, you'd be like, who wants to go back there? You need to be an example. For some that is ridiculous and everybody at 17 is not off their mark.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong, but we get it. We get what you're saying.
Speaker 1:You know. But I'm just saying, yeah, an example, a good example.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you know I'm seeing things and hearing things that I don't like to hear or see where adults, you know, when I was growing up, no, you couldn't come in when the adults were talking. You can, even if you were sitting on the porch and all the adults came off the porch, you had to go in the yard. You know, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And you know we did it as, because that's what we were taught as we got older. We were like you know, you don't get it grown for business. We got older, we realized, you know, you don't get it grown for business. You know, I'm seeing now the reversal of that and it is it leaves you awestruck that you need to be a leader. Mom, you need to be a leader. Grandma, grandpa, granddad big brother, uncle.
Speaker 1:You need to be a leader and you're not leading if you're sitting with your kids gossiping. You're not leading If you're sitting with your children and you know y'all passing it around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Somebody has to be the adult here.
Speaker 1:Somebody has to say stop. And then you want to be respected at one day. What? Day right, wait a minute right you don't want to be respected tomorrow, come on, you need, you should right you should. You should have cut that snake's head off the moment and so still need to be separated yes, yeah, and I see, know it's not.
Speaker 2:You don't understand it when you're, when you're children, but you really do get an opportunity to see why.
Speaker 2:If you become an adult and you have children, you get a chance to see why your parents did what they did. You know when it came to that and how serious they were about you not mouthing off and being in the middle of grown folk business. You know, go to the other room, go to your bed, wherever you need to go, but don't sit up here and talk with us and like like you're an adult and that I, I, I understand now more than I've ever understood now that I'm an adult. But I do see the adults who, my God, you go on social media. You see adults in their 40s, 50s and they are right in competition with these young people and you know, at some point you just kind of say to yourself, man, how, who raised these people? Where you come from? I have, I have one of my, one of my son's friends, her, her son. He's about, I think he's only like six years old and he'll be sitting there and if a kid, if someone comes in that's not from around us, not part of our group, he'll tap you on the leg and he'll say where he come from. It's out of nowhere, he just goes like where he come from, and you know that is so funny. But that's what you wonder when you see the stuff. You see, like where these people come from.
Speaker 2:Like I, I never would have, never would have survived childhood. Like if I'd have been the way some of these people are, my parents would have took my head off. I just don't understand. I don't understand that adults are just like the kids and this generation is so in need of leadership. You said it, you really did say the key word it's so in need of leadership, and that goes for homes, individual homes and families. Somebody has to step up and be the leader for the families in this generation, because without a leader, we see chaos and there's no real rules being laid down in the home anymore. No respect, you don't see, what we see in the street is what comes from homes that that are already out of order. So, yeah, so, so you know all I do, you know all we could do, is pray, I know, but it takes so much, you know, some time to drop a seed in people's lives so that they can kind of open their eyes and see what we are now I agree with you, um, and I appreciate that segment.
Speaker 1:Honestly I do, it's so I don't know how we got so far away from that and everybody's not that way. We know that. We know that there's rules, there's regulations in a lot of parents' homes, but on the other hand, you find it's not in some, because I have friends and relatives that are in the educational system, and not that that's a bad thing. Kids have to learn. But when the parent is dropping the child off at school and they know the child is sick, and then they won't answer the phone. Child is sick and then they won't answer the phone. When the instructor and the counselor have discovered that they're sick, uh, they pick them up at the end of the day because they won't answer the phone.
Speaker 1:They know what the deal they know, they already know they already know, then they bring them back next day still sick.
Speaker 2:Yeah what's happening?
Speaker 1:on here. You won't even make sure the child get well it's so sad. Take them so they can get some medicine in there. That's not on their agenda? That is not on their agenda. It's mind boggling to me, but it is existing, it is real. So everyone has to play their part. Everyone has to play their role, and we want so much from the instructors and the counselors, but you yourself, as, uh, the parent is not willing to give anything right? I?
Speaker 1:mean, I don't know if it's, I don't, I don't know, I don't know. I think it's responsibilities.
Speaker 2:It's like people have a lot of, people have a lot of. They have their priorities all out of place. I mean, yes, they really do. And the truth, nobody wants to be a parent.
Speaker 1:And you don't have to be. This is something else with me and I'm sorry for putting this is something that's something you opted to do. Right, you do not have to be a parent, it is not mandatory, but you're a parent, especially if you're not going to be a hands-on parent or a helicopter parent, if you're not going to really parent that child or that's an option you chose yeah, yeah, and it requires, it requires sacrifice a lot of sacrifice but we have such a self-centered generation that has no time for sacrifice, and so that's why we have these parents that drop off the kids sick because they don't.
Speaker 2:That's not a priority to them. They give it to everyone else because they figure that's your job now and and they go enjoy the rest of their day. Some of them don't even work when they they go and and that's not a worry on their mind. You know, so it's I.
Speaker 2:I'm just glad I did grow up, when I grew up I agree, I'm so happy I grew up with the parents that I grew up with and you know I had my mother was a mother, you know, and you know when you got sick she doctored. She didn't run you to the hospital, she doctored and brought you back to health. Good, you know, and that was that was what I was used to my parents, that my mother cooked every day, you know is she cooked meals, you know, and it wasn't microwave things and and fast food, but she cooked real food and it was like that's the stuff I grew up with and I wouldn't change that for work, for anything else. I wouldn't want to change that for anything, especially in comparison to what I see All the kids grow up now on Chicken McNuggets, the party pizza.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, oh my God, it it's sad. What I see is so sad. Oh my god, you know yeah I get it my mom, that's like I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:My mom was a stay-at-home mom as well. My dad, you know, that's what he wanted and uh. So when we came home from school, dinner was ready. Dinner was ready. I was in one of the local stores maybe a year or so ago and the shopping cart this young lady had was full. It was full of Roman noodles. It was full of it. I saw nothing yellow, nothing green.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I saw no fruit and I was like, well, I sure hope they're having a party today. But I knew in reality that is not what we were having and I was like man, this is a bit much, this is a bit much. Well, I think we have beat that band. I want to to hear about, unless you have something else to say. I want to go to you and your acting role because we got to cover your mental health as well.
Speaker 2:come on as, as, as far as acting um, I I do some acting um, I'm going to be um, going more into. We actually have some, uh, reality shows that we're actually starting, uh, and those'm going to be going more into. We actually have some reality shows that we're actually starting and those are going to be starting in the next few weeks in Atlanta and so we'll be starting our filming there. And as far as, like, outside of that, we're taking it from there, starting in January, we'll be doing a stage tour across six major cities in the US, starting at New York, starting in New York, and that's going to be starting in January.
Speaker 2:So we're that's coming from the movie that I was actually the one of the associate producers on, the movie Miss Cleo Rise of Miss Cleo, and that movie actually did really good it.
Speaker 2:It was on Lifetime Movie Network as one of their premier shows premiere shows and it actually beat out the top biopics that were out, which is, I believe, the only one that was there that was up high was, uh, the Clark sisters and, um, we surpassed them.
Speaker 2:I think we did 2.8 million viewers for the debut of the movie and that has spent off to become a stage play slash miniature of musical in it as well. So we're working on that and I have a movie by the name of Hush that I've written and we've actually started filming already and I'm acting in that movie and that movie is actually going to be a great, great, great, great, great great movie. It's a mixture of a thriller, some horror, some horror, but what we do with most of the films that I write is these films always have some way we spin off to bring it back to the belief in Christ. Ok, so that is another great piece, the work that we've been blessed with. A lot of the work that we do now is coming out of Houston, texas, and then, when it comes to the movie side, of scenes, and then, as I said before, we're in Atlanta, georgia, for the actual reality shows.
Speaker 1:So it's just a lot, just kind of I'm juggling, and that's another one of those hats that I'm wearing Now, when it comes to your reality shows, what can you tell us about that?
Speaker 2:I mean, is it going to be like the housewives or the house of pastor, where I mean, no, actually this is actually going to be centered around a lady by the name of Jackie Bookwright and Jacqueline she's actually she has a history, a very strong story. She actually was one of the women who she had her own talk show in Atlanta on a major network television there and it was in competition with Oprah during the heyday of Oprah, and she actually surpassed Oprah and so her viewing actually surpassed it. So what happened was she was offered a deal and the deal that she was offered was through NBC. And right when she got ready to go and try to pursue the deal that they give her to directly compete with Oprah's show directly, uh, compete with oprah's show um, the network that she was doing locally would not release her footage. They kept it because they did not want her to leave their network. So she lost, she ended up in the fight for that, she lost her son, so it kind of threw her life completely off balance.
Speaker 2:Well, she's, she. She had a great turnaround for her entire life, uh, was blessed tremendously, um, and so she has a restaurant called the porch and it's located in south georgia, about three hours outside of atlanta, and so she is actually doing a reality show that's based around the porch, which is a restaurant. That is primary. It has a gold admission to it and there's a lot of big cameos, a, a lot of cameos, big names that are stopping into this restaurant to visit, and it's a, it's a, it's a really good story behind it. She's a believer, she hires a lot of people who are, I guess, recovering addicts and things of that nature, and this is a ministry based reality show, but it's going to have its twists and turns, of course, we're going to be. Partial of it is South Georgia and partial is being filmed in Atlanta itself. So it's going to be one of those situations that kind of gives you a little bit of spice, just because we need it for reality TV.
Speaker 1:You have to have it.
Speaker 2:You got to have that to keep everybody on the edge of their seat, but it's going to be respectful and you're going to see a lot of ministry moments in it. That drops a seed and that's kind of like the angle that we're using on it.
Speaker 2:Okay, the porch, and you say it's about three hours away from atlanta yes yes, south okay yeah, so if you guys ever come down that direct down into south georgia, y'all make sure I will get you the address and y'all make sure y'all stop in. The food is outrageous, outrageous, right. Yeah, so it's definitely a spot you want to put on your list to stop in and check out.
Speaker 1:Okay, Will do. Now. You're on the New York Times bestseller and that's where your story can be found.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Tell us about Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Broken Wind.
Speaker 2:You know it's funny because I did not know that my life, a segment of my life story, was put into this book. Um, so I just started hearing a buzz around town that people were talking about the book that I'm in and I was like what book? And everybody's like the book is everywhere. It's in Barnes and Nobles, is in all these different stores and I'm like you gotta be kidding me, I'm not even hearing about it. So I finally got a chance to check it out and it was uh was I had a chance.
Speaker 2:I had an actual coming out of, I would say coming out of high school, I actually had an opportunity to interact with a program called ACE and it stood for Achieving Community Excellence. I was involved, as I spoke with you a little bit about before. I was involved in a lot of things in my younger days that were not appealing to what my walk is today. I had a really diverse background. It was really crazy. I got into a lot of things that I shouldn't have been involved with A lot of gangs, a lot of drugs, a lot of things of that nature. I never did drugs, but I sold drugs, and so I did a lot of things, a lot of things. I met a guy and he asked. His name was Jim Houlihan and he had a program that actually was a program that it may. It took children on on retreats. It took people on retreats and when you went on a retreat you would go and interact with others that you would never interact with.
Speaker 2:So this actually the story, actually tells the story of my life when I met him and how, after going to some of these retreats, it changed the way I thought about a lot of people and interacted with people and it turned me from being a person who was often talked about negatively. It gave me the opportunity to see something different in myself and I began to be more of a leader and I had a lot of people start to follow me for all the right reasons and that kind of opened the door for many years beyond school. I began to do trainings across the country as a spokesperson for that organization and I would go and travel for many years and travel for many years just meeting children who were in high school, these young adults, and changing their lives by taking them on the journey that I went on and it kind of like set the tone for me to do a lot of the things that I was. I would say it kind of set the foundation for me to really begin to see myself as more than just the guy who came from the background. He came from. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So that's what that story was all about. So it struck, it actually got a lot of attention and it was one of the books that was seen on Oprah. Oprah actually covered that story in the book and it became a New York Times bestseller Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. So that's what that was all about.
Speaker 1:Well, congratulations for that as well.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:Okay Now, when did you become a mental health advocate and tell me about that journey.
Speaker 2:You know it wasn't until you know it took. It took after it took me being married, after my marriage. You know it was a lot of things I never knew. I did a lot of my reactions, the way that I responded to things. A lot of times you believe that you're OK in a lot of ways, that you're okay in a lot of ways, and so when, uh, I got married, my wife really continued to say we should go speak to someone, we should have therapy, we should go to therapy.
Speaker 2:And I was against it totally at that time because for me, my, I thought that you know nothing's wrong, you know what I'm saying, and it's like you know. That's the first thought people kind of have, like what are you saying? Saying something's wrong with me? You know what I'm saying. And so she began to say you know, it's not about something being wrong with you, but I believe you should sort out why you respond to the way you respond to things and sort out you know you're a great person, but sort out some of these things that you don't understand, um, that that you don't see could actually harm people, like from your responses and how you talk and and things of that nature. So I went, I began going and, of course, at first you know, like you know, none of this stuff is helping me. You know what I'm saying and none of this stuff is like you know. I don't see the purpose to any of this, you know so.
Speaker 2:But we continue to go and slowly I began to realize that the need for therapy was not that someone could fix you. The need was so that you could really hear yourself and you could begin to ask the questions and really reflect on why do you do the things you do in life and why are your core beliefs in the way that you react, in the way that you think in life. Why do you think that way? And I've realized that there were so many things that happened to me throughout my childhood, a lot of traumas and things that I had never addressed, things that were really causing a lot of conflicts with me in adulthood. And then, when I realized all of the relationships, whether friendships or whether it was girlfriends or just friendships in general, all of the relationships that I've had that did not work out or I just totally walked away from, with no issue, with no worries, you know, I could easily walk away and forget people exist. You know what I'm saying. People exist. You know what I'm saying, like in and there was a reason and there was a there was a foundation to where that came from.
Speaker 2:But it wasn't until I really took the time out To to go to therapy and begin to open up and talk about these things and then reflect on why and then use the principles and the steps that were necessary to sort it out and began to put in healthy responses, healthy measures that were needed that would help me become better in ways of dealing with others and relationships Better in ways of dealing with others and relationships. And I think that was not. I think I know that, that their world is crumbling down and there's nothing they can do about it. I really do believe that the majority of people just don't know how great they really can be and how much power they really do have to change and turn things around.
Speaker 2:But it takes a matter of looking take an honest look at where you've come from and understanding that the things that you've been through wasn't your fault to go through a lot of those things, but knowing that, hey, I need to face these things in order for me to become healthy and heal from these things so that I can put out a better version of myself and live in a better version of life than what I've been living in with this dark cloud hanging over my head all of this time.
Speaker 2:So I try my best now to talk to people and encourage them especially a lot of men and couples that it's okay to talk to someone, it's okay to have a sense or a form of vulnerability and be able to really be freed from what you think is the norm. So that's kind of where this journey has come from, and I would say just from my own growth in life, and so I can't help but want to help others and advocate for others who, who a lot of people have written them off and advocate for mental health so that they can, you know, work on these things before ultimately, they become their demise. You know, if you don't deal with things, um, you know, if you don't deal with things, sooner or later. It's like my. One of my biggest thoughts of life is that if you have cancer on a on your pinky toe, you can ignore it as long as you want, but one day what you didn't deal with on the smallest member of your body will eventually take over and you'll succumb to it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. That's that's where that's where the whole mental health thing comes from, because it was a benefit to you. Yes, you know, I'm a nurse by profession and I've had several people to come to me. Do you think I need to see a counselor? I mean, just out of the blue and I was like, yes, what's wrong? You think something's wrong with me? I'm like no, you ask the question. When people ask the question, they want an answer and there is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist answer and there is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist right if you're like you say, if your pinky toe is hurting you're gonna run into the doctor about that.
Speaker 1:So if your heart is hurting, if your mind is hurting, you are you need to seek treatment or just talk it out. Yes, because if you go to your family, they're. They don't want you to cry, they're going. Oh, don't cry. You know that therapist is going to let you just wallow all on that sofa or on the floor and give you those Kleenexes, because, guess what? You need to release some of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know, and I never asked them if they, if they went, but I feel as though they did Good yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good and that's that's. All you can do is try, you know, and sometimes people just need someone Familiar, I agree to actually speak and say it's okay, you know, they just need somebody familiar to push them. Yeah, it just, that's it. And because a lot of times I've noticed this with men they don't want to say they don't want to say that they want to go, they don't want to admit that they thought about it. You know, they kind of try to have a macho feel to themselves.
Speaker 2:But then when another man says it, and you let a man, man say it and they say it's okay, you know what I'm saying, you should go. You know they, you'll see immediately a response that's different and it's like you know I'm saying you should go. You know they, you'll see immediately a response that's different and it's like you know what. I might go ahead and go. You know, instead, it's it's a different response and it's like they need to see that familiar person, um, someone that they're. They feel like you know, that they know somewhat and they can trust.
Speaker 2:And when you say, when you give them that, uh, I would say that, that, that statement, that just makes them feel like it's okay and it. You'd be surprised how many people will actually go. But a lot of people are afraid. I don't know why so many people are afraid afraid of that word, you know? Uh, or the thought of mental health, you know what I mean. Like, like you know, like they're afraid and it's like a stigma attached to it that somebody's going to tell you you're crazy if you have to go talk to someone well, you know, it goes back to when we were little and we couldn't sit in the adult conversation or near the adult conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There were a lot of things they kept from us, such as oh, she just acts that way, you know, that's all yeah, and no one sought help for anyone. They accepted the fact that that's just how she's having a bad day or he's having a bad day. Well, when you look back, that person really needed to probably be on some medication, yeah, or to talk to someone about some things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so they don't want that stigma in the family.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That. That's what's going on, but it doesn't take much. Pressure. Busts a pipe is what I often tell people, and that's not a new saying, but I say that when it comes to mental health.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I, you know I say it when it comes to your physical health. If you don't turn some things around, if you don't stop doing this, if you don't start taking your medication for your blood pressure, you know eventually it's going to lead to a worse outcome. So you need to catch it while you can. And I've had patients say oh little missy, you don't know what you're talking about. And I'll be like, yeah, I do, because I work with this every day.
Speaker 1:A lot of people just don't want to admit that they're vulnerable. They don't want to admit that they're human. They just want to be who they are. But something's going to give at a certain point in time and when you feel that pressure coming in, you either need to take a mental health break seriously, walk away or find someone, and or find someone to communicate with.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, absolutely you better. What you don't deal with will eventually deal with you.
Speaker 1:Now, that is so true. That is so true, like you said, that cancer that's on that pinky toe is going to eventually deal with you because you left it unguarded, right, right, you left it unguarded so it is free to roam wherever it goes yeah, you didn't want to look at it no, you didn't acknowledge it to a year maybe even six years later.
Speaker 1:You're not good, right, you're not good because you made it fester. Yes, and which is a word from back in the day you made it fester. That's exactly what it is. It is festering we take care of ourselves, from our head to our toe.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that will benefit us the most. One of my friends was going through some things and she said I'm coming off social media. I'm like, do what you got to do, it's too much. You know it's just too much. And not that there appeared to be any drama I saw on her page or anything, but just the the weight of it, all, the pressures of it all.
Speaker 1:anything can get to you yeah and so where you see that you need to take a step back, take that step back. As I have told family members and friends who have come up to me, do you think I need to see a therapist? And I'm like sure, and we're like why do you say that that's because you act just like a person who have asked me. Do you think I need a second opinion before I have this surgery? I was like sure why you say that I trust, trust my doctor? I said anytime you have doubt, it's okay to ask for a second opinion. I don't want to make him mad. I said it's your body.
Speaker 2:It's your body.
Speaker 1:If he is worth his salt as being a physician, he's not going to mind you getting a second opinion. Then you still have to understand. It's your body, yeah yeah so whatever you think you may need in a healthy sense that's going to add to your quality of life, let's get it done yeah, absolutely right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely right. It's so much you know, and you know our family it's just our families have, throughout time, so many things were done out of ignorance. Yeah, and it's just, you know we can't. It's so many you, it's so many things that we deal with daily and we have to really approach things realistically and like, even with the social media piece, you know, my thought process always goes to the fact that it's so many things that we were not built for. I agree.
Speaker 2:We just weren't built for it, and a lot of the depression that people are dealing with now comes from too much access. That people are dealing with now comes from too much access. And when you have access to so much information every day on social medias, you go from happy things to sad things to horrific things in the swipe of a finger and you, your body, your mind, doesn't even realize you. Before you know it, your whole mood can have shifted and go. You could be happy when you pick that phone up before, by the time you put it down, you're exhausted mentally you are because you just took a trip through.
Speaker 2:So many different people's emotions have just fell on you. You know, and you don't even realize that you just picked up all of these different people's emotions, like sad people, happy people. You know, saying like crying people is deaf, everything you see. Well, it was never meant for us to be able to see that many. Do you remember when we were younger? Um, in neighborhoods that were smaller, where people knew each other absolutely. If someone died, we used to say you know, death came in threes because someone would die that you knew and then, and then it seemed like three people would end up dying that you knew and then after that, you didn't hear about death for a while. It seemed like that's true. But just think about now. Every morning, if you open your phone, there's a new RIP, there's a new person. That they're saying rest in peace.
Speaker 2:A new person died. There's a new person that they're saying rest in peace. A new person died, and so there was so much less. There was a lot less stress and, uh, I would say, depression back then, you know, because we didn't really come into contact with so much negative Competition.
Speaker 1:So much competition.
Speaker 2:Oh, life is just like. So people get on and they gauge themselves according to what they see other people have. They gauge themselves according to their life. They measure it according to other people. And, man, if you don't think that stuff is beating people up mentally, and man, if you don't think that stuff is beating people up mentally, it's outrageous when you look at the numbers. In comparison to the numbers of depression now, compared to even 10 years ago, the numbers are much higher. So people are dealing with so many things mentally.
Speaker 2:Like, if you really do need some mental health breaks off of social media. I mean just my children alone. I took their phones completely away from them. They haven't had phones in a while. Yeah, and um, because I've noticed, like especially with my daughter, that she was coming to attached to it and her mood swings were changing, sure, and she's only, she's only what? Only? Uh, what, 10 years old now, and I'm like, no, you don't need all that stuff in your life. Yeah, that's way too much for you, like. So I took it away. Um, and my 13 year old son. I took his away too. I was like it's too much, too much, too much focus, too much addiction stuck to it, but then also mood changes and I'm noticing I'm like none of that was present before this.
Speaker 2:So we really do have to watch what we do. You know, the ignorance of the past was that we just didn't want to face things. But we we become better in so many other ways in life. With technology of evolving in life, why can't we evolve in this area of facing the things that we know are not healthy for us and doing something different? So I give her kudos If she could take a break and get off that. What she can't handle, get off, get off. You know what I mean Get off't handle, get off, get off. You know what I mean. Get off, leave it alone. And you gotta know, you gotta really do pay attention to yourself, you know I mean like you gotta pay attention to what's going on in your mind and in your body. You gotta gauge it and like man, I'm feeling different.
Speaker 2:When you know there's too too much for you, gotta know when it's too much, yeah and pull.
Speaker 1:I've had a couple of friends that said I had to take a break and I was like good for you, and that's the end of the conversation, unless they want to talk about it some more. That's the end of the conversation and people will come to me. Did you see this? Did you see this? I said, baby, I had a bad time. I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you it's too much. I said you calling me is getting to be a little bit too much, so I'm not chasing that down. You know, sometimes you just need to let it go. You know, when 9-11 hit, my husband said they're not telling us everything. I said it's nothing we could do about it. If they do Nothing, we don't have the capability of doing anything.
Speaker 1:Listen, nothing you know so the less we know, the better off we are.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to tell you. I have people tell me, man, you know, they just found out it was this happening on Mars. I'm like on Mars, like bro. I can't even control what's happening in my neighborhood. Y'all are worried about Mars and what the scientists are hiding. I don't care about none of that stuff. I'm like God knows everything. I gonna, I'm gonna keep my trust in god. The less I know, the better. In a lot of situations I'm telling you it's so much better I agree with you, and and mars, and I've heard.
Speaker 1:I've heard that too, as are you kidding me?
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, walk away. I'm like you can't do nothing about it anyway I'm done.
Speaker 1:You know I'm on planet earth and I plan on staying here and I'm good, I'm, I'm good, um, so you have to limit it and then you have to use a little common sense with it. What can you?
Speaker 2:do about it nothing I'm telling I had a friend to ask me the other day. A friend, no, no joke. A friend asked me the other day hey, man, could you imagine scientists are talking about traveling around the sun? Could you imagine what's behind it? I'm like why I'm confused. Why would I wonder that? Like that's to me, it's like the last thing I'm worried about. Like I this, that's not even on my radar. Like it's so many things to worry about. And I think this is what happens to people in life. I think people are really missing the opportunity to live right because their time is being stolen by things that make no sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you have to have that quality of life and not don't show it for the vine. I mean your quality if you only want to sit in your backyard yeah and read a book. That's your quality of life. You don't have to go to the Dominican Republic to have a quality of life, and you're doing that for the vine. Now, that may be one of your dreams, you know, on your bucket list or whatever you want to call it, but just make sure it's your quality of life that you're more concerned with.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And you'll do better. I think you'll have a better quality of life that way.
Speaker 2:You'll have a better bank account.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can't spend somebody else's money. Let it go.
Speaker 2:Come on for real.
Speaker 1:You know. So, people, they are something. They are something. We can be a bit much but, we don't. As one of my instructors when I was in junior high. He said people will get, they will pay for their wants, but they won't pay for their needs Come on. And I was like. You know, we're in the eighth come on and.
Speaker 1:I was like you know, really, we're in the eighth, ninth grade. I was like what does yeah? Well, okay, that phrase stuck with me and and I grew up and I heard some of my co-workers say I'm not paying that bill and I was like, why not? They got more money than I am. Jesus, you know, my dad was huge Pay your bills, pay them on time, keep your name clean. All you got to do da-da-da-da-da-da. And those things ring true to this day.
Speaker 1:Yes, they do so that's where my focus is is keeping all of that together. Yeah, it's not about overspending, showing you what I have, because it doesn't matter, I'm the one walking away with the bill right, and that's what most people are focused on.
Speaker 2:They're focused on everybody, what they see from them, and I see it all the time like they put. They even mess up couples like I'm telling, when this this all stems around mental health, because it really does make you sick mentally.
Speaker 2:It does trying to live up to these these big time, uh, uh, unrealistic things that social media and and people are putting on people through social media. It's like you, you know, don't, don't, don't, get a man unless the man your husband or your man can take you on trips like these to make memories. And I'm like saying to myself do you understand that? You do understand that if we don't travel to make memories, um, we can still be happy, right? I mean, if we don't go, spend all that money to take pictures.
Speaker 2:And I remember my mom before she passed away, um, my mom, my dad, had passed away much, much fast, much earlier than my mom, and she had alzheimer's and she developed alzheimer's and she had like about four different pictures in her pocket and she would, every few moments, she would take the pictures out and she would look through each picture and she would say the exact same thing when she got to certain pictures. But it was this one picture she would see my dad on and she goes, oh, my butter bean, and she would laugh and then she would flip through the rest of the pictures and then she'll put them in her pocket again. And I'm thinking to myself imagine if she spent her whole life trying to make memories. Sure, spending money trying to make memories and at the end none of that mattered.
Speaker 2:It doesn't the only thing that mattered was the fact that you had someone in your life that you called Butterbee. You know what I'm saying. That made you laugh even now. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely yeah, that one thing.
Speaker 2:You had someone who was present in your life and I think people put unrealistic things on some of the best people that could have been, the best people that they had in their life, that would have stayed with them, cherished them, treated them good and just wanted to be there because it was them. But because they couldn't afford the unrealistic things, they missed out on people that could have been the blessing. You know I'm saying in the long run, and that's, you know, that's, that's the stuff I look at, like that kind of stuff for you. But it takes a certain amount of maturity and time before people you know a lot of people get to that. But I just, I just really do look at life realistically. I like to look at life realistically. I know that I only have a certain amount of time and I know that I don't need to cloud my time with things that, at the end of the day, won't matter. I agree.
Speaker 1:I want to cloud.
Speaker 2:I want to spend time with the people that matter and. I want to do the things that matter in life and will matter in life to other people's lives when, as they will remember what I've said to them or have done for them for the rest of their life. Other than that, I try my best not to overstress myself with things that really don't, that can't be sustained or will never, won't be here forever you know what I'm saying, so I agree, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, as I said at the beginning, it's God's perfect time.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And a lot of times we're trying to rush what we want to have so we can call someone up and tell them what you got. I'd be on the other end like, are you kidding me now? Are you kidding me? I could care less. And then some people say, girl, you know, I ain't got time for that kind of foolishness.
Speaker 1:No, I don't have time for that type of foolishness. It's silly to me, you know, and I'm not saying that you know, I got it all together. But my word, one thing I don't want to cloud my mind with too much silliness, with too much silliness, I know that's right? No, I don't, I don't, and it's okay. It is quite okay. Sometimes, you know, capacity overload. We just need to dial it back.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:We just need to dial it back.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely, I agree.
Speaker 1:Well, Pastor Ware, I have truly enjoyed having you on as a guest. Do you have any parting words for us?
Speaker 2:Well, I just say thank you for having me on. I've enjoyed it and I hope that your listeners will enjoy the segment of us speaking, will enjoy the segment of us speaking. I just truly believe, at the end of the day, that what we said will matter to a lot of people and I'm praying that people can take this with them and it will increase some form of quality to their journey in life and help them in a lot of ways. That's my prayer and I just want to say once again, thank you for having me on. I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 1:Well, we received that prayer. I was going to ask you to pray anyway, so we received that. You're more than welcome. I will be following everything that you're doing.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:And Gentry's Journey audience will do the same. So you have a wonderful day and I do appreciate you and all that you do. You're so talented, god. You're allowing God to use you in so many various capacities, and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:Thank you. You have a great day, too, and be blessed, and I wish you the best with everything, and I'll be looking, looking, looking out for everything that you're popping out as well, so make sure you tag me as you go.
Speaker 1:I will All right. Thank you so much. I'll definitely do that.
Speaker 2:All right, awesome. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:All right, have a great evening you too, Bye, bye.