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Gentry's Journey
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Gentry's Journey
Dancing Through Life's Challenges: Bianca Revels' Journey of Faith and Empowerment
Prepare to be inspired as Bianca Revels, a dynamic force in the world of dance and theater, shares her extraordinary journey from the streets of Detroit to the stages graced by icons like Rihanna and Mary J. Blige. We uncover how her passion for tap dancing opened doors to international acclaim and how faith guides her current artistic endeavors. Bianca's story is not just about dance; it's about aligning with a higher purpose and inspiring young artists to pursue their dreams with humility and devotion.
This episode navigates the delicate process of healing from past traumas and finding strength through spirituality and art. Bianca’s personal experiences illuminate the power of forgiveness and the significance of a family support system amid life's challenges. She reveals how creative outlets like tap dancing and music have been vital tools for emotional expression and recovery. We dive deep into faith-based therapy and the ongoing journey of self-awareness, offering listeners a blueprint for personal growth and spiritual healing.
In our heartfelt conversation, we confront the realities of a society often desensitized to others’ struggles, stressing the importance of empathy, compassion, and humility. Bianca passionately discusses the emptiness of chasing fame and fortune, advocating for genuine connections and serving a higher purpose. Her dedication to empowering women through art and faith shines through, as she encourages embracing intrinsic self-worth and trusting in God’s plan. Join us to explore a narrative filled with resilience, empowerment, and the transformative journey of self-discovery.
Hello everyone, welcome to Gentry's Journey, and I have a special guest who has many talents, and I want her to speak on all of them, and her name is Bianca Rebels. So, as you do, I'm going to start with a prayer, a scripture when a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him Proverbs 16 and 7.
Speaker 2:Now Bianca how are you doing? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. Thank you so much for having me. How are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm doing good. I'm doing good. Like I say, I'm getting there. You know, I'm not going to whine about it, but we're going to get there. Praising the Lord there. You know I'm not gonna whine about it, but I'm gonna. We're gonna get there praising the lord as we go through. That's right. That's right. God is good all the time. All the time he is good. Trials and tribulations and all. Absolutely, absolutely okay, bianca, now tell us a little bit about your background okay, well, I am originally born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, motown City.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, and that is where I started my dance career. I actually started dancing at the age of three and started with ballet and hip-hop, and then I started tap dancing at five and as soon as I hit tap dancing it was something within my spirit that just took off. From there and along the way, I've been blessed by God to do showtime at the Apollo. When I was 11 years old, I was Hal Jackson's Miss Michigan team, so I represented our state on the pageant side. I was the first tap dancer on season six of so you Think you Can Dance, but I was blessed to do season four and five and then I finally made it on season six and after I did that show, my career just took off. I was blessed again to represent our country through the Shanghai World Expo.
Speaker 2:I was hired by Hillary Clinton to do that and I've been on tour with Rihanna. I danced with her for three years. I've danced for Mary J Blige, neo, pink, pitbull, j-lo, so the list continues. So I've been blessed. I've really been blessed in my dance career and that's kind of what plateaued me to have a platform to be able to share the highs and lows of being in the industry at such a young age and developing now as being a mom and kind of moving away from that career path and moving on to more of what God wanted for me. So that's my background.
Speaker 1:To sum it up, I saw a video of you tap dance and I really do love a good tap dance. Now, I can't do it and that's fine, we're not upset, but I just love it. I love to see Gregory Hines, I love to see Sammy Davis doing, I just love it, you know. So when I saw I was like look at her. You know that is one and I used to watch that show very, that was one of my shows. So you think you can dance that through the correct one? Yeah, because I like the art of dance, dance, I like the art of movement and how people are so arithmetic with it. Um so um, yes, you, you tap what you said, and no music, no music. So that is wonderful. Now you said, have you acted? You, you've been an actress as well. You are.
Speaker 2:Yes, I have done. I've done a Mark Casey film called the Flinttail. I did a cameo in that. I would like to do more in the future, but majority of my acting background has been through plays. I've done Perilous Times with TJ Hemphill a few years. I've also done the Pride and Joy tour with Marvin Gaye. So I've done quite a few things on the play and acting side of that.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's wonderful. That's wonderful. Now, what are you doing now?
Speaker 2:Now, what are you doing now? Now I am focusing on God's will for my life. One of the things that I learned through growing up is that a lot of what is praise in the industry, a lot of what I was around, a lot of people that I experienced I realized was not necessarily of God's spirit, and because of that I decided to move towards his calling for my life, which I was blessed to be a mother. I'm a mother to a beautiful 10-year-old. His name is Aiden, so God was just telling me it was time to put down my ego and my pride and the spirit that I had attached to myself in reaching so much success at such a young age. And now I'm venturing into sharing my story to be able to inspire the youth that does want to be in the industry.
Speaker 2:You can be successful, but you must prepare yourself for the reality of that world and then also making sure that you put God first in everything that you do, because through him all things are possible. So, even if you are met with some of the low valleys that I experienced being in the industry, knowing that God has his hand on you, you can. You can surpass and overcome anything. So my path now is doing more motivational speaking, reaching out to the youth. I was also blessed to be published in the Listen Linda magazine by the amazing Jacqueline Cox, as well as her volume two book, the Women's in the Waiting Room. So God is just really directing me in the path of sharing my testimony and my story, my past experiences in empowering women, especially to put God first in everything that they do. One and then two, if you're in abusive situations or in toxic relationships, to walk away, to not stay. So that's where God is leading me, I believe, and it's his will over my life.
Speaker 1:So I'm moving when he tells me to move and I and that's wonderful, because I think a lot of times we, we, we pray about one thing or we ask about one thing they were like are you sure you know? Yeah, well, god sure we're the ones who are, you know, a little bit hesitant about moving forward or moving out on different situations, and that's so true, I am being reaching the level of success that I reached within the being innocent and adolescent in the mind and in the spirit.
Speaker 2:God, I want to book this job. God, I want to book this job. God, I want to book this job. And he blessed me with the opportunity to book that job and book that job and book that job. But I also felt like he was opening my eyes to what booking that job entailed. It wasn't just going out and performing to the best of your ability. It was a mask of some sort to wear to receive accolades and validation and attention from outside sourcing. And because of that I learned how detrimental that can be. If you don't seek God's approval, if you don't seek God's will over your life, if you don't seek God's approval, if you don't seek God's will over your life, if you don't seek God's direction, he'll lead you there, but there's a lesson to be learned in that. So now I'm in a space of being patient and waiting for God to tell me to move, as opposed to me just using my talent to move in a direction because there's an opportunity there, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:It makes perfect sense and for anyone who's ever been on a journey of, whether it's career-wise, whatever you seek, it could be a college student, it could be a high school student. Lord, what is your plan for me? Which way am I going? All your friends are saying this, all the people you know are going that way, but it just doesn't feel right to you. So you really want the Lord to order your steps, but sometimes when he says it, we still. The crowd is pulling at us. So we kind of go over there, knowing we're not comfortable in that situation, but it's a familiarity there. It may not be the best situation and you just have to kind of pull yourself away and walk alone. A lot of times you know and you're not alone because you know we're walking with you, absolutely, absolutely, and that's one of the main things that I did.
Speaker 2:Experience is living in the flesh.
Speaker 2:When you reach a level of success at such a young age, you don't really understand it, other than being excited and overwhelmed and intrigued and curious and kind of wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. But again, it's more so growing up and understanding that, yes, I'm great, I was great at dancing. I'm still great at dancing. I will never stop tap dancing, that's for sure. But as far as doing it for the purposes and intentions I was doing it for, for the artists I was working for, I would never step back into that realm again. I feel like I've been as successful as I was meant to be and I learned the lessons I was meant to learn within that phase of my life and no longer living in my flesh and letting go of what I wanted. Now my focus is on what God's expectations are for my life and if I am remaining obedient to him and if I'm making him proud. Yes, and when you? When I went on that journey, it completely changed my whole outlook on what I thought I wanted or needed, as opposed to what God has for me.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I definitely can see that. You know, once you get to the finish line of that particular assignment, you look back and you this is what I was running from, this is what I was running from. Yeah, you look back, you know, as you look back over your life, you know, because it's always a journey, it's always a road to take. Yeah, now we know this month is domestic violence month. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So, if you are comfortable, whatever you would like to speak on your personal experience with that, or however you decide to let the audience know about that, is fine with me.
Speaker 2:Well, I will just say throughout my life, I always say unfortunately, but fortunately, because I believe that everything that God brings you to, he's going to bring you through. So I no longer regret the experiences that I've had. Instead, I've applied the lessons that I've learned and I've become stronger, wiser and more aware. Growing up, I was very fixated on people pleasing, being a chameleon to a certain extent, blending in instead of sticking out. And unfortunately, but fortunately, it put me in a lot of situations where I was vulnerable, a lot of situations where I was taken advantage of, a lot of situations where I was in relationships for the wrong reasons I was.
Speaker 2:I was, uh, sorry about that. Uh, I was in the wrong relationships. I was seeking the wrong things. Um, I was seeking an attention that only God could give me. I was trying to fill a void in relationships that only he could feel, and it took me to some dark places.
Speaker 2:My son's father was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive and a lot of the times people will look at the physical outside and think that it is worse. But in my experience the mental and the verbal abuse was the worst, because that the old saying is sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I implore people to change that, because words hurt and they stink and sometimes they can bruise you deep like stone would. Uh, and a lot of the internal work I had to do to revamp and heal came from the verbal and the mental abuse more so than physical. But I'll be honest with you it was nothing but the grace of God and blessing me to be a mother in order for me to leave that situation, because I was so invested in covering up or masking what the truth was because of the embarrassment or the shame of the failure of the relationship, and then now here's a baby involved. So I was still fixated on that, people pleasing. I was still fixated on that image, upholding that image, not letting people know that I was really suffering. I was really suffering in silence. But once God blessed me with my son, it was something. It was an internal strength that was beyond me and is still beyond me, and I carry it with me, through his grace as being a mother, that there is an instinctual, animalistic side, that it's bigger than me. This is not about me anymore. This is not about what I'm trying to cover up. This is not about what I'm trying to hide. This is about what's going to be best for my child. This is about him needing me to be around, to teach him right and wrong, to share my experiences with him, never tarnishing his father's reputation, but always sharing with him what not to do or what it means to be a man and how to treat a woman, to the best of my ability, of my experiences, of sharing with him.
Speaker 2:So when my son was a month old, his father and I got into an altercation and I say an altercation because he physically came at me, knowing that I was going to leave with our child, and locked me in the house, you know, was basically trying to keep me against my will, tugged at my son to get him from me, being able to put him in the baby carrier. So it was a very traumatic situation. But I kept hearing God, just, I've got you, I've got you, just go, I've got you. So I, the police were called, and the police had advised me. They said you know if, if you have a free chance to leave, you need to leave. And so I trusted the. I trusted the Lord and what he was saying. I felt like he used that officer as a vessel to tell me what I needed to do. And my son and I packed up with my mom in our van and we drove all the way from Texas, where he was born, to Detroit. And I've been back home ever since.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's great. That's great. You know you were able to get out, get away, and you just listened to the voice of the Lord. You were able to get out, get away, and you just listen to the voice of the lord. And I have to echo what you said. I have been telling people over the last few years that, oh, add a stick and stone. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. That is so far from the truth. Like that word stick, um they. You know like I mean they stick. You know like I mean they stick that you know like you're throwing on a Velcro material, you're throwing that ball, it sticks. And you know yes, you know the emotional and mental anguish that you have from that, not just from that aspect. But co-workers, you know playmates. You know they can say some really cruel things you know, and you marinate on those things.
Speaker 1:You don't just let them roll off your back. You know as you pretend to do. You know there's some things people have said to me when I was younger still stick. Somebody told me they were like well, you know she was in the hospital. I went oh yeah, oh yeah, let's move on. Let's go to the next story. I said to myself Lord, have mercy. You know I got to go on. You know I'm not getting invested in that anymore. When you can move forward and move away, you've got to move forward and move away.
Speaker 2:And to piggyback off of what you said, because the Velcro analogy really stuck with me. It's also it was also a spiritual attachment that I needed to heal from when it came to, because a lot of the times, whether it be your coworkers, whether it be your relatives, whether it be friendships, whether it be business relationships, whatever the circumstances are, it's very important and I'm learning this now to pay attention to your energy and the energy that you give to others, because a lot of the times, if you notice it could be a coworker or a homegirl and she'll say hey, girl, let me tell you about my day. You know what happened, and my first lady at my church her name is First Lady Colger she shared this with me. She said the next time somebody does that, just say nope, I don't need to hear the whole story, but i'ma pray for you because a lot of the times when you disrupt that pattern, it also stops you from that spirit attaching to you.
Speaker 2:In my, in my, in my relationship. It it was with my son's father. It was spiritual healing that needed to take place. It was a lot of spiritual detachment that needed to take place, and then it was also some self-examination and reassessment and self-awareness to say, well, what habits have I picked up in this survival mode that I was in Because I wasn't living, I wasn't happy, I wasn't joyful, I was just surviving. So now, what attributes or what habits have I developed that I need to shed, that are not a true testament of my character or a true testament of my faith, or a true testament of my relationship with God and believing in Jesus Christ? If I'm asking for forgiveness, then I need to be the same person on the other side, forgiving. True, I can forgive, I just won't revisit that and that, and that's where I had to get to.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that makes perfect sense you don't want to go back to that place where there are so much, so many memories that aren't pleasant, Right, Absolutely. Now you say you moved back to Detroit. You know? Shout out to the D.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Is that where your support system was?
Speaker 2:Yes. So my, my beautiful parents still reside in Detroit, Michigan, and, again, with going through such a traumatic experience with my son's father, that is where I went. I went back to my home base. My parents have been blessed, blessing me with their support in in helping to raise my son as I transitioned because I now live in Vegas as I tried to transition and set roots for my son and I. So they've been shout out to my parents, Debra Revels and Virgil Revels, Rick Revels they are phenomenal, phenomenal human beings. That's right. I don't know too many parents, that grandparents that, during their retirement, would sacrifice their time to you know to help raise their grandchildren. So I feel like those that are great examples, like my parents, should definitely get all the praise as well under God for doing that.
Speaker 1:So so yeah, yeah, but you know parents want their children happy and healthy. So they're, you know, they're, they will pull up, you know, to help their children, especially when you're trying to do something productive and something that's going to move you to a better place. Absolutely yeah, shout out.
Speaker 2:Yes, and they came through right and have always been there right on time, especially when it comes to when you go through abusive situations and dynamics and unfortunately, but fortunately, my son's father was not the first or the last of abusive dynamics that I've been in, first or the last of abusive dynamics that I've been in.
Speaker 2:And so I had to really take a look at self, going back to that self-examination and self-awareness, to say what is it within me, what is it within my energy where I'm vibrating at this level, where I'm attracting these people, because it's not anybody else's fault, it's mine. So what do I need to heal? What am I not? Where is the? Where did I lose hope in myself and what did I replace it with? And so, figuring that out, also, I had to be honest with myself and say maybe I'm not in the best position or in the most in the most healthiest position mentally to be able to be there for my son the way that I need to be, and so that's why I say it's a blessing my parents have been able to be, be as selfless as they've been to to raise him, so that I can get my mental together Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You know that's a wonderful thing to be able to fall back on family, and they definitely be a support to help and to heal, because it's more than just one day. You know it's going to take some time for that to happen. Yes, it's an everyday, everyday journey. Yes, it is so. Your coping mechanisms basically was relying on the Lord and then your family being your support. Did you have any other ways that you were coping?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely Tap, dancing Tap dancing is my life it is, it's how I breathe, it's air, it's my air. So there's times where I would just cry and tap dance at the same time. I use the arts as a coping mechanism. So I paint also. So sometimes I'll just go into the studio and I'll lock myself away and I'll just paint whatever I feel and they come out to be these pieces. But I would say art is the best way. And music I also create music as well and I'm a writer. So I tap into the other talents that God has blessed me with as a means of conversation, of saying I'm grateful with him in other different areas and ways. So those are the ways that I cope. And then also just falling at the altar. A lot of the times, you know, I've gone to church with friends and they want to cry, they want to fall out on the altar and ask God for the things that they need.
Speaker 1:But they're too busy focused on what's going on around them.
Speaker 2:I fall out, I fall out. I fall out for God. I cry to God, I cry out. I fall out for God. I cry to God, I cry out to him. Um, I have no, I carry no shame, I carry no. You know, I'm very prideful in my relationship with him. So, um, I fall, I fall out on the altar and I cry as you should, as you should.
Speaker 1:You know when individuals that they're still, they have that, that set of pride. I don't want this person to see me like this. I don't want that person to see me like this. You tell they're still holding on to people. When you truly humble down, you know nose to the floor, when you, you don't care who see, in fact, you're not even aware, you're not even aware, you're not aware of what is going on. You know because you're communing with the Lord. When you are slayed in the spirit, you are communing with the Lord, so you're not even aware of their existence.
Speaker 1:At that time, when people recognize that you got to let Billy Bob go, you got to let Sue go, you got to let everybody go, and then they will cause other people to wonder and to think what is this? What is this? That just won't let me. You know, hey, I want some of that what you got. I just want to reach out and touch you, but I want a little bit of what you have. They're still caught up in the world, of what you have. They're still caught up in the world so they're not really willing to relinquish that hole that that is being held on them, absolutely, absolutely, and that that was another.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you said that, because that was another thing that I had to do in my healing and coping. I had to, I had to bind my flesh into subjection, because it's when you put aside your shame, when you put aside your guilt and when you just realize that God is your father and you go to him. He's not going to judge you, He'll never leave you nor forsake you, and no weapon formed against you shall prosper. His promises are divine and they're infinite and they're true. The word is the truth.
Speaker 2:So a lot of the times, my coping is just falling, falling down to him and coming as I am, fully because he already knows my story, it's already written. He knows when I'm going to fail, he knows when I'm going to succeed, he knows when I have to. Like you said, let these people go so that I can get closer to him. Um, so I I say all that to say I had to learn to let certain people go and let certain expectations go and even, just to be honest, let the expectations of other people go, because how am I going to have expectations for people but I'm not living up to the expectations of God. So who am I True? And that was something that I really had to work on. And then also just really looking at myself again. Like you know, a lot of the times it's easier to point the finger and say, oh well, this person did this to me, or I was beaten in my past, so now I'm going to look at every man like that. Or I was lied to in my past, so now I'm going to look at every person as a liar. No, at the end of the day, it was a lesson that was supposed to be learned in me being more aware. So then, that way, now I know if I feel that spirit.
Speaker 2:Or a lot of the times now, before I form friendships with people, I'll ask God like God is this person of you? Do they know they belong to you?
Speaker 1:Do they pray for you? That's very good, that's very good.
Speaker 2:What's their intentions, god? Because God will tell me, and I'll wait for an answer. I'm not just going to go with what my flesh wants, because my flesh will be like, oh, that's a great person. And then you know, you find out that person may not be on the same path or journey as you.
Speaker 1:So now I just ask God for permission before I proceed oh, that's one that's good, that is very, very good, and that's what a lot of us need to do.
Speaker 1:Which way should I go? Which job should I take? I mean, it may be simple to others, but you're taking it very seriously. And, um, I remember one time I was looking for a job and I was like, and I'm a nurse, I'm a registered nurse, so you know, it's not really hard to find one, but still I said, lord, I don't even know what to pray for, so just just surprise me. You know, uh, yeah, I don't even know what to pray for, so just just surprise me. Just surprise me, you know. Yeah, I know I can do this, I know I can get one here there, but surprise me, because it was certain things I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:I wanted to grow in my profession and to say, lord, just surprise me. So that's what I do, you know, and that's just with the job. But you should do it really with people as well. You know, show me, I feel something, but show me, you know, absolutely, you know, I tell people, when you get that little angst, that pinch, that itchiness, that might not be the folks that you need to be around. I'm talking friendship relationship, because people are going to be close to you as well. So you need to know when to hold them, when to fold them, who's got to go? You need to know when to set boundaries.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, and that was a big one, for me is boundaries, yes, boundaries.
Speaker 1:Because I was praying one day I was Lord. I said I don't mind, because he had told me to leave somebody alone. And I was like I don't mind leaving him alone, lord, I said, but you fix it where it won't be like you know, no falling out. No, you know, no, no, rigmarole. And he, he did. And I was like, well, you know, that's why we got to follow the Lord. Yes, right, we got to follow him, you know, because I don't care how long y'all been friends, if it's if, if that, if that time is up, it's just up.
Speaker 2:It's just up and it. You know it's so funny. My, my mother, um, I love her so much. She, uh, when I first moved to LA I had moved into uh, I moved into a few places, but when I got my first official apartment right before I had, but when I got my first official apartment right before I had went on tour and was in China for six months while I was gone, her, my, my dad and my brother Brian so shout out to my brother Brian as well they flew in and she would just ask me while I was in China but you know, what color scheme would you want for your house and if you could put it together and what things? And, and when I came back, my whole apartment was done. They had really surprised me. First they lied and said that my aunt was picking me up from the airport and it was them. So I was already in tears about that. But when I first walk into my apartment there were these picture frames, and in the very first picture frame it was a story and I'll never forget this.
Speaker 2:It says that people have different positions in your life. When it comes to a tree, you have people that are roots to your tree. You have people that are leaves. You have people that are branches. You know for a fact those people that are roots are going to weather the storms. They're going to be there. They're there to help nourish and nourish your soul, feed your soul, make sure that you're reaping good fruit and producing good fruit through the dynamics of the relationship. Then you have leaves to your tree. Now you know winter comes, fall comes, you know they're going to change colors sometimes on you, and then comes, fall comes. You know they're gonna change colors sometimes on you, and then they'll, you know they'll die off, and then branches. The same way. You get a really big, you get a tornado of an atmosphere and experience in your life. Those branches may not be able to hold on to weather that storm.
Speaker 2:Um and it?
Speaker 2:That was a big thing for me. It was, it was a big thing for me. It was a big story for me that I still hold dear to my heart because I now use it when it comes to forming and developing my relationships with people as a whole. I'm looking for those that are roots to my tree and instead of me looking, I'll take that back and say God is directing me to the roots of my tree, while also making it aware to me who the leaves are and branches are and being grateful for it all.
Speaker 2:True, you know a lot of the times that you can. In the past, I know I've gotten bitter, you know, over friendships that fell apart or relationships that fell apart, or betrayal, lies, deceit and all of these things that come with life. And now I'm learning to appreciate everything, because life is so short. It could be gone. You could be gone in the blink of an eye. So, instead of holding on to resentment and anger and bitterness and regret, what can I learn from that situation? How can I grow from that situation? And I'm going to continue to move forward because God blessed me with another day to do so.
Speaker 1:I agree, I know you want to. Hey, you definitely want to learn from your mistakes. You want to learn and take it with you, because if you don't, you know you got to go back again. I told a friend of mine. I said you got to learn something from this, from this error that you made. You got to learn something, I said, because if you don't, you got to go back through again. She said oh no, I want to go back, I don't want to go. It was hard. I understand that, you know, but you need to really learn a lesson from what was the lesson Right?
Speaker 2:You know what was the message what was it?
Speaker 1:You have to be sincere in that. Yeah, that is very true. Now, did you ever seek any professional help to help you heal?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. I went to a few therapists. I tried a few things, um, I tried hypnotherapy. I've tried um, just, you know, speaking to regular therapists and and I, I I'm an advocate for it, I definitely am I feel that it definitely helps just to be able to go to someone who is unbiased to. You know, is is um professionals within their career and and can give you advice and tips, a different perspective, uh, on how to look at things. Uh, and you know, my son is in therapy also. Like, I just think it's, even if you're not going through something, life is going to have you go through something.
Speaker 2:That is true. It's better to be prepared. So, yes, I have done therapy as well. But my main, again, before I talk to a therapist, I ask God hey God, is this one of your children? Is this? Do they know you? They can we pray before the session starts? I'm very big on that, uh, so faith-based there, there are a lot of um pastors who also have their certification in therapy as well, in psychology. So I I would implore people to seek those individuals out, because from my experience I I had a pastor that was also a it was also a therapist, and it really helped to have the that foundation on both ends. So, yes, I really I believe therapy works and I advocate for it. I really do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with you. I used to. One of my roles was finding avenues for my patients and some of them would call I want a faith-based therapist. Where can I find one? And I was like wow, that hadn't come come up yet. So I went on Dr Google and I started speaking with some of the receptionists in some of the offices and I said are they faith-based? And she was like yes, he is. He just doesn't advertise it. I said I get that. I said but you know, my patient's looking for someone who's faith-based. These people are all over the country. They were all over the country.
Speaker 1:I thought that was really unique because I wouldn't have thought about it in that day and time Got you, but you need to find someone who's going to match your energy. Absolutely. Got you, but you need to find someone who's going to match your energy, absolutely, absolutely. So when that came up, I was like wow, it's probably a ton of them around that we don't recognize because they don't advertise it. Advertise it, absolutely. Yeah. So you have to ask the question yourself. Yes, now I guess it is a continuous journey when it comes to healing.
Speaker 2:What are your thoughts on that? Absolutely, it's definitely a continuous journey when it comes to healing, because you change, you evolve. So the 21 year old me is not going to have the same ambitions, the same goals, the same mindset nor perspective as the now 35 year old me. You know, you go through things in life, you have different life experiences and you have different shifts. I call them growth growing pains, because anything worth having you're going to. You're going to go through some things. In order to, you have to build strength. It's like when you build your muscles and you're going to be sore for a few days, but that soreness is it's more growth. So I really believe that healing is a continuous journey and I believe that especially your mental health is something that should really be focused on your spiritual health, because those two things in turn can affect your physical health and your physical growth. So I believe it's a continued journey and whereas I used to, I used to dread it I'm not going to lie there's certain things where I'm like Lord, why are you taking me through this storm? Why, like I'm hurting, I'm hurting right now? But then when I came out on the other side and I realized, wow, I've gotten stronger. Wow, I've learned this about myself. Wow, I'm healing.
Speaker 2:I don't believe anybody will ever be healed. I believe that we're always healing and I believe the closer you get to God and the closer your relationship is with him, the more healing you're surrounded by people who are living for the world instead of in it or of the world. That's very true. So it's a consistent evolution of healing. You're going to learn new sets of boundaries. You're going to learn new things about yourself that you didn't know. Boundaries. You're going to learn new things about yourself that you didn't know. As you shed old bad habits, you pick up new ones and then you pick up new experiences with that and you have to heal through that. So it's always a healing experience. I don't believe anybody is ever healed until they go home to God.
Speaker 1:I agree with you. You get over it, but it's still in your memory, but it doesn't affect you in the way that it used to. And people, well, she should be over this by now. I say there's no way you can tell somebody what they should be over by now. Absolutely. That is their process, that is their journey. You can't tell a person how to grieve. You can't tell a person how long to grieve, because it's there. That is so personal, just because you're either tired of hearing it or you want them to move on so you will feel better. I don't get that. I just don't get it. And these are people that I can speak very openly to when I say these things and they were like well, I guess you're right, I don't have to be right. It's not that I want to be right, right, I'm just saying don't push them into a place where they're really not ready to go absolutely, absolutely, because it and again, that's why I'm for it's it's a, it's a journey.
Speaker 2:It's a continuous journey because you, you never know what people are going through.
Speaker 2:And I feel like, because of the state and climate that our country is in and the way that we are now, even how the youth is growing up and the things that they're seeing, as opposed to how I was growing up, we're so desensitized to each other and we're desensitized to a lot of different things that we should really be impacted by.
Speaker 2:And the biggest thing is just really having empathy and compassion and sympathy for other people and what they're experiencing, even if you don't go through it, even if you don't have a personal experience or relationship or connection to what they're going through. Just having enough compassion to pray for them, having enough compassion to forgive them, having enough compassion to have an understanding, to listen with the intent to understand instead of with the intent to respond, to defend your point. All of these things, I feel, are so important in us continuing to heal just as a whole, as a people, as a country, as a nation. We're so desensitized to each other's experiences, we're so just flippant, we're so standoffish to each other's experiences, not knowing that that's how you grow. A lot of the times I'm healing in places because I'm learning from other people's experiences, and if I didn't take myself out of the equation and really look at where they're coming from, then I would have blocked my own blessing, true, so-.
Speaker 2:I agree with you.
Speaker 1:We are desensitized. If it's not affecting us, we don't care. And how can you be so careless? It doesn't take but a millisecond for it to turn and hit you Right, and I know everybody wants their campground to be together and you know it is. For now, Just be thankful. But that's not. We're all going to hit some bumps and bruises. We're all going to run into that tree that's standing there. You know, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it's absolutely. It can happen. You know. So you know, I think it's just more arrogance and not enough humility. Absolutely, yeah, Absolutely, you know. So we need to be mindful of what we spew out.
Speaker 2:Yes, because there is power in death in the tongue.
Speaker 2:There is power. You can speak life or death in the power of your tongue, and a lot of that too. I had to heal from that as well, and I'm still healing from that of paying attention to what I say to myself about myself, how I feel about myself, about some of my failures in my past or some of the choices that I've made in my past, letting that go and having a different internal narrative, because a lot of the times, the enemy is the inner you. One of my sisters in faith her name is JJ, she has a Bible study every Friday and she said that she said the enemy, the enemy a lot of the times is the inner you. It could be the inner me. So it's it's.
Speaker 2:It's looking within yourself and saying, okay, let me pay attention to how I'm speaking to myself before I, and then let me go over my thoughts with God before I say what I'm about to say, because there's so much power in this tongue of mine that I don't want to speak. I only want to speak life and love into people's experiences. I don't want to speak negativity. I don't want to speak death. I don't want to speak any type of, any type of of blockage to anybody else's experience due to my pride or my ego or my my lack of self-awareness, and I think that if people took more accountability and how they show up in the world in a selfless way, then they'll be able to be more impactful for sure.
Speaker 1:I agree, um, we have to watch. But some people have big motives and I think they they kind of you know, kind of prowl around, if you will, to see who may be more vulnerable that they can use or utilize for their next agenda and that agenda is not going to be pure, but they need to find someone to go along with their agenda and I think they seek out that weakest link. Absolutely, you're so right.
Speaker 2:It's so you know, you'd be like You're so right.
Speaker 1:You know, because if I don't fall for it and you don't fall for where somebody else in this room is gonna fall for, you know, I know I can't go to bianca. You know, I know I can't come to carol with this because she's gonna tell me please move on. You know, but they're gonna find someone who's weak enough. One of those. I don't know if you call them a people pleaser or not. I always wants to be with the crowd.
Speaker 2:Well, the crowd is sometimes where you need to be, absolutely you have to stand on your own Absolutely, and that was my experience being in the industry. I'm going to be very honest with you. I left the industry when I was 25 years old, at the peak of my career, because I realized that I was losing myself in wanting to be a part of the crowd, and this crowd had ulterior motives and agendas for me that I was never going to be comfortable with. And even when I tried to fit myself into these squares, when I'm a circle, I realized that I belong to God. So anything that is not of God, you can try, you can try, you can try.
Speaker 2:And I've had my weak moments and my vulnerable moments of being in rooms with people I knew I had no business being in rooms with doing things I had no business doing surrounding myself around the limelight, or these celebrities, or these people that are idolized and their spirits are dark, their energy is heavy. It was a completely different experience for me and I just had a conversation with God and I said, god, you blessed me with the love of dance and I don't love it anymore.
Speaker 2:I had fell out of love with it because it was no longer about my talent, it was no longer about my passion for it. It was about, oh, she's growing up and she's gorgeous on the outside and she can be this or be that. She's very charismatic. Her personality is very vibrant. She's a people person, and I was getting pulled in so many different directions to the point where I looked up and I said, well, who am I? Where did I go? Yeah, like, who am I? Where did I go and why am I here and why am I around you? Your agenda is not my same agenda, like my, my, your, your. Who you pray to is not who I pray to, so we don't need to be in the same room or in the same space. Um, respectfully, it was just. You know, there was a lot of things that I noticed. So, at 25, I just left. I didn't tell my agency anything. They didn't know what happened to me, I just disappeared.
Speaker 1:I left.
Speaker 2:California. And, um, that's when I met my son's father and, uh, we moved to to Georgia first and then Texas, and, uh, I was gone, Um, and then, after I had my son, I tried to come back. You know, I did a Nike endorsement deal and so I was back out traveling and then, you know, I would come back. So I would do like little flights back and forth from LA to Detroit, but it got to a point where it was just like my soul was just my soul was like this is not, this is not where you want to be. Like the glitz and glam of it is all great, but it's underneath it all it's not.
Speaker 2:And some of this is unfortunately coming to the light with you know, with Diddy, and you know the things that's going on with that situation, and so a lot of everything that I've seen and experienced on the back end is now coming to light. And I look at it now, where I was so upset with God, I'm like God, why I don't love it anymore. Why, why did you have me in a room with these people and why did you have me? And now that I look at it and my viewpoint has changed and my perspective has changed and my direction in my career has changed. I am so grateful that he saved me. That was him saving me from what I didn't belong in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he made you so uncomfortable in those situations and in those spaces and places till you had to make a move.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, and I don't regret my decision at all. I get a lot of people Bianca, why did you leave? And Bianca, when are you gonna come back? And Bianca, I can see you doing this and I can see you do that. I said whatever God wants for me, that's what I'm doing. Sure, that's it, because what you see for me is me. It's not like. What you see for me may not be what, it's not what I need. God will give me everything that I need. So, and more and more, yes, absolutely an abundance of blessings the overflow of the cup.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, because he's not going to take you out of a situation and not put you on a better situation.
Speaker 2:Yes, he, that was when he, when he calls you out, he calls you out from and I honestly believe that he brought me to it and brought me through it so that I can share my testimony and make others aware or, by sharing my testimony, hopefully makes them aware of what they're getting themselves into prior to, prior to getting into the industry, prior to wanting the fame and the four. When you look at all of that wanting fame and fortune and idolizing these people it's so unfulfilling, it's so unfulfilling, it's draining. It's the lack of integrity in it, the lack of the multitude of distractions, the lack of integrity in it, the lack of the, the multitude of distractions, the lack of focus I get it.
Speaker 1:I get it, you know. Um, just you know, looking at the news, whether it's your local news or national news, I come away with oh, these people just want their name written in stone. They want it etched in as long as their name is on the program, as long as their name is on the ballot, that's all they care. But what do they give back in turn? And not just a pen is nothing. But they want to lead you. You know they want to be out front, so they really don't want to lead you. They know they want to be out front, so they really don't want to lead you. They just want you to come along with them, absolutely, because they're not going to catapult you to any level. That's going to be above where they are.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, Absolutely they're not. And then, if they see you even getting close, you become a threat.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you get blacklisted really quickly.
Speaker 2:You in it and it's a. It's such a a manipulative cycle of you get to a place in your career and you're around these people, or even just even when you're. It doesn't even have to be within my genre of what I experienced, but just in life, if you get a promotion at your job and you, you notice like your friend isn't happy for you the way you see that, you know when you you see it, you see you're like what happened yeah, where where's the smile?
Speaker 1:where did it go? Where did the love go?
Speaker 2:and and so these are things that I'm noticing now and, instead of me taking it personal the way that I used to, because I used to, my poor little feelings used to get so hurt I'm like I've been there for this person and I've given my last to this person, and why is it not reciprocated? Well, maybe that's not your person and that's okay. Or, even better, don't seek reciprocity in you being of service to God, because, at the end of the day, if you're allowing him to use you as a vessel and you're living by the spirit and not of your flesh, and he removes you from these people, then you thank him. You may not understand why, you may not understand the journey in it, but thank him in advance because he's seen things that you haven't seen. He's been in the room and heard things, heard conversations that you weren't privy to, and he knows what's best for you.
Speaker 1:You know, oh, it's really getting out of your own way you know, I have that as my tagline he knows what's best for me. He knows what's best for me because when people say I got you or you're next, they don't have you and they're going to close the door. Well, that's all we can do right now. You know, it's just. You know, when your eyes become open to the games people play, I'm open to the games people play.
Speaker 1:You know, no one can shut that anymore, because God opened your eyes for a reason, absolutely. But we have to, you know. Yeah, it hurts, it's stunning. Wow, wasn't expecting that, you know. But you know what he has is better for you. Sure, yeah, you might not make what they're making or doing what they're doing, but you're doing what God wants you to do, and that's the way I look at it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I have this saying that I keep with me. It said I could do that, but I choose peace. That's true.
Speaker 1:Because with that other stuff there is no peace Absolutely. There is no peace Absolutely.
Speaker 2:There is no peace Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yes, so we have to, you know, just trust God.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:We have to trust him. So for your future goals, what do you have?
Speaker 2:Well, first things first. First, whatever God's will is for me, I want to. I want to remain obedient and I want to uh remain on his timing and his will for my life. So, whatever God calls me to do, uh, that's where I plan on going, that's what my future goals are. But I foresee a peaceful, continuous peaceful life with my son, watching him grow up, being there to help him nurture in, growing into he's already a phenomenal young man, but just I can't, I can't wait to see him in his kingdom, um, in his kingdom. So, being being continuing to work on my healing my mental, my physical, my, my emotional healing uh and to be a vessel uh to be able to share my story. I definitely want to do more motivational uh speaking opportunities, uh speaking to the youth, going to women's shelters uh book signings. These are things.
Speaker 2:I want to reach more out into the community to really share uh my life in hopes that it'll help people heal uh, that it'll be a continuous uh form of healing for myself as well, and uh continue to an abundance of peace and and tranquility and uh closeness to god.
Speaker 2:That's really that's what I mean. I could I could have a million things. I want to do this and do that, but I, all I want to do is what god want me to do. I don't want to do nothing else. I don't want to step out of outside and know that, no other parameters. I don't want to be too um, because I feel like there's a such such thing as being too ambitious or getting ahead of God. I just want what God has for me and I hope that what he has for me, that it is going to continue me on this path of being passionate and sharing my truth and my story, in the hopes that it'll help others heal, or that something that I may have said, that he's led and guided me to say, will be a blessing unto someone else.
Speaker 1:I agree, because if we can't help someone else, what are we doing?
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:If I could help somebody, then my living wouldn't be in vain. You know, if I could help somebody, then my living wouldn't be in vain. Yes, my aunt used to love to say that. She loved saying that.
Speaker 2:And it's the truth it is.
Speaker 1:It really is and she truly loved the Lord and she loved people, you know. So now you mentioned women's empowerment and I know you have been through and lived through and you're still going through and God has delivered you from a lot of things. So your experience is and I know you said you want to speak- what other things would you like to do to empower women?
Speaker 2:I definitely want to empower women through the arts. I definitely feel like there are some therapeutic elements in the arts. Um, so there's a few, uh, youth groups that I partnered with out in Detroit where I would come and we would do a painting, you know, with a twist, but it was more so paint your emotions and paint. Paint your, paint the things that you need to get out Outside of the arts and speaking. I really want women to learn to love themselves the way God sees them and the way that God made them, because the way he made us, which is in his image and in his likeness, we're already enough. We're already more than enough.
Speaker 2:So that would be my message if I could really deliver. It is just if you're in an abusive situation, if you're in a toxic situation, if you're in a self-deprecating situation, trust God, lean on him, surrender it all to him, give it over to him and leave that dynamic, knowing that you are worthy of more because you're his child. Amen, you're his child and Jesus Christ has already made the sacrifice necessary for us to be able to go to our Father. Ask for forgiveness, ask for direction, ask for proper discernment, ask for our steps to be divinely ordered and for our heads to be anointed, from the crown of our heads to the soles of our feet. So if I could really, it would just be getting closer to god and knowing that you are already enough because you're his amen, amen.
Speaker 1:yes, I think okay, now you really just really closed that show. But if you have anything else that you would like to say, that's some pretty thoughts I would love to hear them, because you have dropped so many gems, so many nuggets, so many words of inspiration already. What would it?
Speaker 2:be I really nothing else. Just thank you so much for for, uh, creating a platform that is going to help others continue to heal. Um, I really I really enjoyed this, Um, and I thank you so much for for the opportunity to share my story. Um, and the only thing I would leave with is God is good all the time, and all the time.
Speaker 1:God is good, and amen to that, for sure, for sure, you know, and he knows what's best for us. Amen, amen, and I thank God for it. I thank you for coming and sharing your story. I have truly been blessed by it. A lot of what you said we'll preach, you know. But once you learn and grow and grow and learn, you know, sure, yeah, you'll be a force. You know where people, where you can draw people to you. A lot of times, when we're up and we're arrogant, people move away from us. Yeah, so thank you so much, bianca. I do appreciate this. I am humbled by your story, I'm humbled by your experiences and I am thankful that you are growing and going, you know, in the way that the Lord would have you to. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right, we will speak again.
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am, we will All right yes.