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Gentry's Journey
Balancing Faith and Family: Tanya Carter-Vincent's Inspiring Journey from Ministry to Writing
one.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello everyone, welcome to Gentry's Journey. We have our guest, miss Tanya, and we've already been talking, so you know we might be out of breath, but we're going to go ahead. I'm Carolyn Colvin, your host, and we do appreciate her coming aboard. Tanya Carter-Vinson V, as in Victor Vincent, and she's a wife, she's a mom, she's an ordained minister. So we're going to get into all of that in just a little bit and in true gentry fashion. We're going to start with the scripture In everything, give thanks. That's 1 Thessalonians, 5 and 18. Now I have introduced Ms Tanya to you all, minister Tanya, and we're going to let her introduce herself.
Speaker 1:OK, so again, my name is Tanya Carter-Vincent. I am. I am an ordained minister with the Triumphal Worship Center here in Fairfield, california. I am also married. My husband and I, lord willing, this year will celebrate 10 years. We have a blended family of three. My daughter is the oldest out of the group, but my stepson and my daughter are the oldest out of the group, but my stepson and my daughter are the same age, so 28, she's 27, she's going to be 28. My son and my stepson will be 28 at the end of the year and then my youngest son is 20. He'll be 21 this year.
Speaker 1:Thank you, jesus if you got some young boys you like to thank you, jesus. So yeah, so I work for the government, jesus, and if parents got some young boys you like to thank you, jesus, so yeah so I work for the government.
Speaker 1:I've been in government for 30 plus years. God truly has blessed me with that. I learned recently that I guess I really am an author because I contributed some writings to certain devotional books a few years back. I did it for about three, about four years. The publisher for that particular book was called Zoe Inspirational. She concluded that series in 2021. So I haven't quite wrote anything since then until Dr Velma reached out to me. Dr Velma, I think it's Gabby McGabby, excuse me. Reached out to me. Dr Velma, I think it's Gabby, Excuse me. Reached out to me.
Speaker 2:Dr Velma Bagby.
Speaker 1:Yes, bagby, I know it had that B on there, bagby, forgive me. She reached out to me about participating in a woman's devotional that she was creating. I added an insert, I provided a devotional for that, and then I saw Jacqueline Cox's posting on Dr Velma's page and I was like oh you know. I said, laura, what do you think about this? And he's like it's time. I was like, really, so God made way for me to be able to participate in this one, and so this is why I'm here now to talk to you about that chapter of my life.
Speaker 2:That's great. I appreciate that background, and you have to get started somewhere. An author or whatever talent you want to expound on, or whatever talent you want to expound on. Now we talk about the devotionals that you have been a part of Any particular writing process you utilize.
Speaker 1:No, and in the end, this is really all still fairly new to me. The objective was that she gave a format as to needed to know, needed to provide a scripture.
Speaker 1:You provide a sort of statement and then you needed to conclude it with a prayer and that was the end of you know, she had a structure on how she wanted those particular devotionals to be and I just followed the format that she had. And because it was just a matter of you telling I mean providing what you wanted to give as a devotional, it really left it open to. Okay, I had to figure it out, seeing how I had never done anything of that matter. I just I picked out you know situations, or you know things in reference to my family and friends, or you know things that I've gone through. Like one particular devotional I talked about my sister and the title was the Gift that Keeps Us On Giving, because she's a huge giver, and I talked about how the Lord gives to us and how he blesses us with people I mean the gift of giving, and my sister was one of those people.
Speaker 1:And so I talked about her in that devotional and then just concluded with how God again, he is the giver of all things, and so that's just one way of expressing so. I didn't have any other format. So that's why, when it came to this particular project, I was like I was really stoked. I was like I don't know what to say, Because when you have so many trials everybody has trials and tribulations you wonder which one you should pull out, which one you should talk about. And one of my greatest concerns was I wanted to get personal, but I also didn't want to hurt anybody who might be included in that story, because our journeys aren't always just about ourselves Other people are attached to it.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I have a lot to say. Of course we all do. I have a lot to say. The question is we all do I have a lot to say?
Speaker 2:The question is how much is God?
Speaker 1:requiring me to share. I picked out one little snippet of something that happened in my life and wrote about it.
Speaker 2:That's great. When you talk about your sister, your sister being the gift that always you know she's always giving. Um, and you wrote about that. You wanted to limit yourself, but you wanted to be open and you wanted to get your message across. How did you minimize that or how did you put that puzzle together to get that done?
Speaker 1:Well again. So because there is a format, you're only allowed so many words. I'm one of the people that I don't like. I said, writing is not one of my biggest things, so I just jot down a bunch of stuff. I write a bunch of things down, and then I go back and look at those different items. One thing I did in high school which I hated it then, but I realized how beneficial it is now was what they call free writing, and so my teacher would tell us.
Speaker 1:He said okay, for the next 10 minutes I want you to sit down and free write. And what that meant was I want you to write anything you have on your brain right now. Just write it out. He said I don't care if you say, okay, I don't have anything on my brain, that should be what you write. I don't have anything on my brain.
Speaker 2:I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow, which way I'm going to go.
Speaker 1:I can't believe I put on these shoes. Whatever is on your mind, that's what you write did about my sister. I thought I wrote down all the things about my big sister. I wrote all the characteristics about my big sister and you know just what she does for me and then also what she does for others, and then you know looking at all of those things and trying, and also you know, compiling them and also, again, making sure it's relatable to the word of God, because the devotional isn't inspirational, devotional to the word of God, because the devotional isn't inspirational devotional, and I believe in it.
Speaker 1:I want to inspire people with the word of God and let them know that everything that we deal with and that the things that we do should be unto the Lord and therefore God should be getting credit for any and all of this and he's showing us how he's using us to get the glory and he's using my sister all the time. She's the best big sister ever. Of course, I only got one big sister, so it's wonderful. I got one little brother, so you know she's the best.
Speaker 2:And that's good. But I envision her sitting in a corner in that room where you in with this sign up, saying and you better, in a corner in that room where you in with this sign up saying and you better, you know what my sister the one thing about my sister, she's very humble.
Speaker 1:She, matter of fact, she, when I got called to preach you know I've been, I've been preaching, for I got my minister's license back in 2000 and it was a 15 or something like that, and over the years she just she deemed herself my armor bearer. I didn't ask her, she just said I'm your armor bearer. I'm like okay, you know, and she remembers everything. She's like okay, I got your tea, I got your water, I got your call, you got some tissue, I got you, you know, she has, she, she's on top of it. You don't have to ask her me all the time, and a lot of times I hate it because I'm the outspoken and she's the quiet one, and so people and people assume we're twins because we're so close in age. But you know, people and people assume I'm the oldest, but she is the oldest. And it reminds me of this. Bette Miller sang a song the Wind Beneath my Wings.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes and she talked about, you know, in the movie itself Beaches. You know she has this friend and she talks about her resilience, she talks about the strength she has. That's my sister, that's great.
Speaker 1:I'm Bette Midler and she is that I mean, because that's how I feel about her, because she's stronger to me than anything that I think I've ever been, and so she'll just sit back and she'll just grin and laugh. No, it's fine, and she has a little Michelle, michelle A the artist, michelle A from the 80s, little R&B singer. That's her voice.
Speaker 1:So of course most people won't take her seriously because her voice is so squeaky, so high pitch. But you know she kind of just steps back and she's fine behind the scenes. But she's a huge help and she's greater in my life than you know, than I'm sure she even wants to imagine.
Speaker 2:And you know, um, I knew some sisters the one that was more jovial, the one that was more outspoken, the one that was the cut up and one was just kind of laid back about a lot of things. And the one that was laid back got sick and she said you all would think I am the strong one and the jovial one. Let's just call her, you know, miss Personality, because her personality was always over the room and she said you all would think that I am the stronger one, but it's really her. I am weak as water without her.
Speaker 2:And you know when you come up to that type of, when somebody is that open and that honest and being that vulnerable with you, you know it makes you think wow. You know how we so quickly can put a label on someone. Because when I used to see them together all the time they were so close I told them we were all together. I said I thought y'all were friends. I had no idea y'all were sisters because y'all are just too tight. And she said you know we've gotten that before, but it's because I did not grow up with them.
Speaker 2:You got what I'm saying we attended the same church, but I did not grow up with them and I was like, because you kind of like yin and yang, but you know, everything was a compliment, but I just, you know everything was a compliment, but I just, you know, was so impressed with the way they were knitted together, so to speak, and I think it is such a beautiful thing to have a relative or a friend or a cousin who can be that for you, right, who can be that for each other. Okay, Not just you, so that does amaze, me.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then also, you know it works out, because a lot of people make the assumption that, okay, because I'm the preacher, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the one who likes to sing and I'm the one who's, you know, outspoken and outgoing, that they a lot of times they tend to diminish the other talents or the gifts that the other person has.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm like, and I make it very clear, I said God uses my sister too. My sister can pray, my sister can lay hands, my sister, she can make some gifts, she can. I mean she does a lot of stuff, but because you don't see her, you assume that she's not. You know she's not, you know, very viable. She's not. You know she's not that person, but she's the one. And you know, people over time have began to notice, oh, you know what, she's very resourceful, she. You know she does a lot and I'm like I want because I mean, I never want her to, I don't want to overshadow her, I want her to stand on her own right, because and another thing that people will say is oh, you know the quiet ones, oh, they're so soft-spoken.
Speaker 1:I'm like, no, she ain't quiet no man, no man she's, you know she, she can, she, she'll tear this whole house up if you let her. So don't let her fool you. She's like no, no, no, nothing. She's telling a story, you know you know again, you know just allowing her to have a shine as well. Yeah, it is the assumption right.
Speaker 2:That is the assumption that you know, like I had it and I'm sure other people felt the same way. But you know, I never saw let's put it like I never saw the negative energy coming from either one. But when she said I'm the weaker, she's the stronger, and I just was like never would have thought it. She said, yeah, because I'm the personality Exactly, I'm that big personality and it made sense. You know, because a lot of times when you're talking and you're just sitting around, you know, just, girl talk, you don't think much of it. But when I got home I really had to process that. Not that it was that big a deal, but the discernment, the discernment, the discernment. I was like, wow, you know, it makes sense. It makes sense.
Speaker 2:And sometimes we try to make things make sense when we really don't have to. It's just sometimes we're just not paying attention. You know you walk in and you don't see somebody walk up on you. Well, I'm all, I'm all eyes, I'm all ears. I try to listen for different noises and things of that nature, and people are like you're not paying attention to me. I said you're not paying attention to your surroundings.
Speaker 1:She's very intuitive, you know we're all my family in itself is very, you know, we're very watchful. So you know, like you know how you be in church and you're like, ooh, I need some tissue. If you so you know, like you know how you be in church, you're like, oh, I need some tissue. If you turn, she's gonna, you know, she's gonna connect with you immediately. You're like, oh, I guess she, you know, and if I, if she's turning, I'm like, okay, I see her.
Speaker 1:You know, we're very conscientious of each, not just each other, but we pay attention, even during the service of people and so because you know you're immediately able to assess, okay, there's a need and you know you can take care of that. So, like I said, you know I call her Miss Hospitality, you know she's, she's very hospitable, you know she, she's the one you want to greet people because she will have a smile and she can take a lot of stuff that I like. My face, my face, is completely changed. I might not look at here. You got one more again. Matter of fact, I got. I got kicked out of the kitchen at the church Cause I was like look, can you want this food or not? Look here, this is free. God blessed you with it, don't you come in here? And my bishop said you know what, it's okay if you don't want to get in the kitchen. I said good, cause I can't take it. They come in here complaining. I'm like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have to tell them about go over there my sister. She just grinned. She's like, okay, now wait a minute. I'm like no, no, we're gonna close the door on you. You're very ungrateful.
Speaker 1:I feel the ungrateful spirit in you, ma'am exactly, and you know she's the one that can work with kids. Oh my gosh, she got the gift of kids too me. I'm like look here, uh, where your mama at. Look, didn't I tell you to sit down, I'm not gonna talk to you, no more. Matter of fact, I'm the kind of, I mean. And so when it came down to she and I, I call her the maternal and I'm the, uh, the paternal. Yeah, I'm like, I'm the one that dated, I'm the daddy's gonna come home and whip everybody behind. Because mama said whip everybody behind, sure, but she the one gonna come on with everybody behind. Because mama said what? Everybody behind, sure, but she's the one gonna love on you, she's gonna hug on you, she's gonna kiss your boo-boo. I'm like look at you, fine, get up. You all right.
Speaker 2:Okay, brush it off shake it off I get it, I get it you know, but our personalities are what makes us, you know we can. I mean, you need that, you need that balance, yeah yeah, we can be good, bad and different, but that doesn't make us worse than the other, better than the other, it's just the uniqueness and individuals. Yeah, so that you know that's a wonderful thing. So now, what do you want readers to take away from? Want readers to take away from what you have written, especially your latest work?
Speaker 1:Can you give us just a pinch of that latest work, I can say that stuff happens, but don't allow it to break you completely. My prayer is that it introduces you to the God that I know, who truly does love you and desires that you prosperous and be in good health. So if you get that from the story itself, then I think I would have done my job, because it's you know, I'm not to say it's not about the story, but it's really about the journey and about what God does for you during your waiting period, what God gives you and how he will sustain you during the waiting period and how he'll bless you during your waiting period. So that's my prayer, that I'm hoping that someone would get out of my chapter someone would get out of that, out of my, my chapter.
Speaker 2:That's great, um, because you know we write and, like you say, it's inspiration, it's a devotional and you really want to resonate with someone yes you want them to walk away feeling as though they are a winner or a potential winner.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, and, and not even because a lot of times, you know, the end result is not what you expected. So sometimes people would have thought they lost, had to put a lot of thought, you know, I had to put a lot of thought in and then I had to just stop thinking and I had to just pray and ask the Lord to reveal to me what he wanted me to share and what he wanted me to say. Because, again, I've never, I had never worked on a project like this before, and even though I got the you know, the description of what the project was about, I still felt like I'm like, am I in a waiting room? I don't know if I'm waiting for anything, you know. And so I really needed to find out how that really kind of related to me, because I've never considered myself waiting for anything. I just, you know, you could just go through life, you know, now, if you have a specific request, like okay, yeah, lord, I want this, I'm asking for this to happen, then you wait on it. That's different, but when I think about my life, I wasn't waiting for an expected answer, if that makes sense. I was just trying to live day by day.
Speaker 1:This is not one of my stories, but again, an example is there's a lot of substance abuse growing up in our household. So I couldn't wait to turn 18 so I could leave. I'm not even 18, wait till I graduate from high school. I was like, as soon as I graduate, I'm out. So it wasn't a matter of okay, I'm just waiting to get there. It's a process you there's, no, there's no, you can't. You can't do nothing but wait. So I couldn't rush it, even if I wanted to. I had to go through this process to get to finally leaving the house.
Speaker 2:And so.
Speaker 1:I didn't contribute that to being a waiting period, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Whereas if you're in a waiting room.
Speaker 1:You already know you're there for a specific reason. Let's say, you're going in for a procedure, you're waiting for the doctor to come or you're waiting for results. So I had to try to get out of my own head about whether I mean how that looked and how that would apply to me. So when I wrote this story, I was like, okay, I didn't realize I had to wait to get to arrive to where I am now. It just happened that way. So my hope is that people will see that also, that, okay, you may not be sitting around like specifically honing in on something and waiting, but you are waiting on. You're waiting to be changed, you're waiting to be revived, you're waiting to be refreshed, you're waiting, and this is what it looks like. So so that you don't give up in this waiting period, cause it is a waiting period, you just didn't have a name for it.
Speaker 2:It was just just, you were just doing life, and that is true, that is very true, because to wait, you don't know if it's going to be 30 minutes or six hours, you don't know if it's going to be six days or six months, because healing has to start at some point in time.
Speaker 1:And you don't have a time frame, you don't have a date, you don't have anything and you're not even looking for it. And I hate to use this. I want to use this because this is something that happens a lot in individuals. You know, let's say somebody is dealing with a period of abuse physical abuse. You know you have no idea when it's going to end, but in that period you actually had to wait. You waited it out and you didn't even realize. Okay, nobody sits down and says I'm just going to wait to keep being beat up and see what happens. Nobody does. Nobody says I'm going to keep waiting physically, sexually abused until it's over with. That's not the mindset. But when you've gone through it you'll sit back and say, okay, what happened during that time? And during that time you had to wait till you finally got delivered. You had to wait till you finally got healed. You didn't realize again. You were in a waiting room, but you were.
Speaker 2:You were, and that is so true, and I have a friend and we've had this discussion and I am I'm just very firm on this particular stance. I may be firm on a few more, but this one comes to mind. You can't tell a person when to get over grieving Exactly, you can't do it. I don't care if you're sick of them grieving. That's not your grief, it is theirs. It's individualized. There's no timetable on it, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, not only grief. You know not to cut you off, carolyn, but that's not. It's not just with grief, it's with everything, it is with everything, and so you know, and it's, and not to share, but you know, that's, that's something that I had stated. Nobody gets to tell you when to get over it, but what we have to do is not allow it to hinder us in our you know, in our moving forward. You're, you're going to have setbacks, you're going to have struggles, but you got to keep moving. You can't sit there, you can't sit in it, and you have some people who sit and wallow in it to the point where it overcomes them, and some people get wiped out.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, when I was studying grief, it's five stages, you know. You go through denial, then you go through no, not me. Then you go through acceptance. It's five stages to it. But who's to say you have five days to get over this, five days to get over that? That is not so and it goes back to the cycle of abuse, because nine times out of 10, abuse doesn't just start just because someone looked at you and decided they would be abusive to you. This has been a pattern for someone at some point in time, and you can tell when some women are truly, truly afraid. Oh, I don't want to upset him and I'll be sitting around upset who?
Speaker 1:Right, right. It's not like fighting words to me, no.
Speaker 2:Upset. What type of relationship are you guys in?
Speaker 2:because my thing is, if you have something that's on your heart and your mind to say, you should be free to say that, that that is your partner you know if they're not willing to hear it, then I understand that, because sometimes people are in a mind space to hear a certain thing, but upset, I think you're the one that's upset right now and I think they should be in a point where they can hear you and because if they don't listen to you, you will find someone who will. Yeah, yes, because you got to move forward, you got to get out. Like you said, you can't wallow in and you can't sit in it, because then you'll be hey, you'll get rooted in it and you're trying to move forward. So you need people who are going to be there to and just encourage you or sit with you while you go through.
Speaker 1:You know it's funny that you said that because, again, I always go back to biblical principles. When you look at Job, as many people, if you ever read the story of Job, when he lost everything, his friends initially came and sat with him and didn't say anything. You know they were just there to be a comfort and then over time they began to kind of badger him about whatever. But you know, I remember I did a, I preached a sermon on what type of friend are you? Are you the friend that's going to be there? Are you going to be the friend that's going to badger that person into, into accepting something that that may not be true? Yes, so you know, you have to, you have to decide. And the abuse is just not about the person abusing. It's also about, ok, what's going on with you that you feel like you deserve that level of treatment. So some people do.
Speaker 2:Some people do feel as though, again, some people do feel it so well, I know I upset him and I'm sitting in there. You know I'm sitting there rolling my eyes. Well, is this the first time he done been upset? You know, come on, life is full of ups and downs. It's full of those moments. We just need to be able to channel that, especially with people we say we love.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I mean, and I've always said you can't say that you love me if you can't be honest with me. You know. But the Bible also tells the Bible also, and one of the things he also says is you know to you know let your words be seasoned with grace.
Speaker 1:You don't want to feel like we're being judgmental and attacking an individual, but you do want to be honest with them. You know judgmental and attacking an individual, but you do want to be honest with them. You know as best as you can, and I mean one of the things I tell them. I'm like, okay, I can tell you what you want to hear, but I mean I can't tell you that I love you. Then if I do that, sure, so you know, because I love you, I'm going to be honest with you and again, I'm going to be here with you to work through it if you want me to be there with you.
Speaker 2:And I agree with that and that's what friends are for. You know, walking side by side, or that's what relationships are about, be it cousins because I'm close to a lot of my cousins to walk side by side them, to let them know I am here because that's all they need, sometimes because you can't you walk with them, but something. You can't go through that situation with them.
Speaker 2:But you need to be there and they're back right. So, yes, absolutely, absolutely. So, now that we fixed that problem, what future plans do you have for your writing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was another thing. I said okay, you know people, when I was doing the devotionals people were like, oh, you should write a book. And my dad is one of my biggest supporters. He's like you should write a book. And I was like, daddy, you sure I'm not sure you're going to like all the stuff I write in the book.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You know because, but you know, and I really was beating myself up about, you know, even writing this piece, and I was like you know again, I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want to disappoint it and then the Lord revealed to me. He's like you have a story too. You have a side to this story and it's okay that you tell your side of the story. Everybody's not going to agree with your side of the story, but it's your story, it's what you lived, it's what you lived, it's what you went through. So I'm actually kind of, I'm taking some serious thought into doing the actual book itself just a matter of what it's going to entail. And you know again how much information I want to put out there and how much at one time.
Speaker 2:Rather, and that's on you, because you don't have to tell the whole thing at one time. If it sparks in your spirit that I can do a volume two, then do a volume two of that, because I agree with you and I'm that way as well. It's so funny that we kind of mimic each other. I'm not doing it to hurt anyone. I don't want anyone to feel hurt or betrayed. So you have to count on because you're telling it from your vantage point, because you can't tell it from another person's vantage point.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:And it's like someone was trying to tell me about someone and I was like, oh, that's not how she told her story, that's not what she said to me, and then she was trying to tell it again. I said wait, I know what the problem is, you know how that's the story. What is the phrase? You can't tell it like I can tell it what God has done for me, so you can't tell her story.
Speaker 1:Even if you were there side by side, Side by side, you know the perception is going to be different.
Speaker 1:What you feel is going to be different, you know so how you process, it is going to be different because that processing and that feeling and all of those things is going to be based on your individual experiences. So, like I mean, because I mean I have one brother and one sister and we all grew up in the same household, but I can tell you right now, our lives have been completely different. You know the paths that we've taken, the decisions that we've taken completely different, but we got the same mom and the same day. I look at this oxymoron because most kids got different daddy. We got the same mom and the same daddy, but yet and still, we got three different experiences. You have.
Speaker 2:And so that's hard, yeah, so you know when I look at my parents.
Speaker 1:I was like they was my just say no anthem. Forget about them commercials, forget about the people also on the street. I was like they might just say no, I'm like I'm looking at them deteriorate and I'm like I don't know nobody who done bounced back after all that I'm like and so what would I? Why would I think so? And again, I'm a reasoner, I'm a one who always rationalizes everything and I'm like why would I do that? I'm like why would it be different for me? Why would it be different for me? And I'm like yeah, no, I'm cool, I'm the same way.
Speaker 2:I'm the yeah, no, I'm cool, I'm the same way. I'm the same way when they say I'd rather see a testimony sometime than hear one.
Speaker 1:So when I see you know what, when I hear your testimony, when I hear your testimony, I'm like I don't have to repeat that. No I don't have to repeat it. You went through it. I believe you. I believe you. And guess what? Thank you, jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I trust you.
Speaker 1:I don't have to try for myself. Whereas my daughter was more like that. My mom said I think I'll pass my son like, okay, I gotta try for myself. Boy, you can't try everything.
Speaker 2:You cannot. I said you can't try death.
Speaker 1:I said need you to recognize that death is real.
Speaker 2:Don't nobody come back from death.
Speaker 1:That stuff on TV. I'm talking about real life, death, Real life.
Speaker 1:So you know having to get him again, two different kids, but the rationale and the logic was just completely different and I'm like there are days I want to choke him was just completely different and I'm like there are days I want to choke them, so but so, with that being said, like I said so, and then I we had a meeting and we and a lot of the ladies were talking and they were talking about the same my concern again that I was having about you know my family. And one girl said I, you know, I told my, she said I told all my business. She said I will wait for my family and say what, tell me what you got to say. Again, this was my story. I was like, yeah, okay, but I'm like I probably won't be there. I don't want to be her.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be her. We don't know what God will put into you. You know, we don't know what he'll have you to say, but if it doesn't sound right to you, then it's not meant to be. At that point in time, wait for it to be edited out.
Speaker 1:Again, he has shown himself faithful to me time and time again. That's why I will trust, I vow to trust him with my life. I trust him with my decisions. I trust him with everything. When I struggle trusting him in the decision that he has made for me, I just go back to him because, again, it's his decision. So, um, I trust that. You know, when the time comes and it's time for me to put all that down on paper and into into a book or work, he'll guide me in it he will.
Speaker 2:I mean he really will, and and I and I know some people put this in it and put that like I don't know anything about that, I don't know anything about this, if I'm not feeling it, it ain't going in there.
Speaker 1:That's not my story.
Speaker 2:It's not, and I said well, I think what you're trying to do is change my story to your story. So I think you need to write this one, okay. And I wasn't being ugly. It's just that my voice is no longer a part of the story you know so you can.
Speaker 2:oh, they would just suggest. I know that they weren't suggestions. Those weren't suggestions. They came pretty clear what you wanted, but that's not my story. That's just not my story. So so you know, we just have to agree to disagree on certain things. It's just like a one hit wonder, but you wanted to, you, you personally wanted to resonate to the audience as your voice.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And that's just it. Absolutely hey, that's it, hands down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I know you say I don't really consider myself a published author, but you are. So what has been the most rewarding part of being a published author? But you are. So what has been the most rewarding part of being a published?
Speaker 1:author, the people being blessed by it. You know saying, you know getting something out of it and that that is, that is my, my ultimate goal. I mean, I had like those devotionals that I had before you know again. You know you go out and you sell them and things like that, but I end up buying a bunch of them, just give them away.
Speaker 2:Hey, don't laugh. I said you and I live. We got too much kinship going on here.
Speaker 1:I'd rather you have it.
Speaker 2:I'd rather you have it and read it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And again, when you come across people that like, okay, they need a word and you believe in the project that you worked on or you believe in, I'm like you know what. It's a word from the Lord and I know it's going to encourage you. Anytime I get on a platform whether I mean if I'm preaching or if I had to speak somewhere I make it very clear. I tell the audience if you need a Bible, let me know, I will mail you a Bible. So I go to the store and I pick you up a Bible. They're like oh well, how much is it? I didn't ask you how much it is. I'll ask you if you need a Bible. I will buy you a Bible because I believe it's so vital that you need your sword in order to fight and so, in addition to your sword.
Speaker 1:You know there's a lot of different curriculum and literature out there that can help you in understanding and navigating the word of God. So again, if I can be a help in that area then I like to do that. So the devotionals to me I found are as help. It gets people in the habit of you know reading the word of God and then knowing finding out you're not the only one.
Speaker 1:You're not the only one that's going through, you'll be like, oh my gosh, they went through the same thing and you get a chance to connect with people that you may never, ever meet, never.
Speaker 1:You know, you get to hear their story who live out, who live out, who live in Alabama, or you get to hear somebody's story who lives in New Mexico and you're like, oh my gosh, I thought it only happened to little old me in California. No, so that in itself, that's what my ultimate goal is that somebody would be blessed by it and somebody would be encouraged and it would help them in their walk with God.
Speaker 2:You know, I have a friend. She often says we are more alike than we are different.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And when she said it I went we're going to have to put you on the circuit you know that inspirational circuit because that is so true. And it came at a point where I could really hear her say that she may have said it before, but it resonated with me and I went you are so right.
Speaker 1:No matter who you deal with, we are more alike than we are different Absolutely, and that's and and that goes across any color barrier. Yes, it does, because we, you know, people are under the impression that because you know, because I'm in one culture, you're in another, that we don't have anything in common. That's not always the truth, and then, as a matter of fact, I might be able to be a help to you on what it means to be resilient, and you might be a help to me on what it means to be reserved. So again, we all are helpers to one another. That's why the Bible says there's, you know, one body.
Speaker 2:I mean many members but one body, because we're all helpers to one another in one shape or form, and I agree.
Speaker 1:So I agree. And you know I did a um, a bible study on the spleen one time, oh, and I was like you know people, nobody, people don't talk about you only hear about the spleen when it's being removed. You don't hear about the functionality of the spleen. But did you realize that the spleen actually holds an additional reservoir of blood so that when you get in an accident you don't bleed out? You have extra blood available to you? And I said you know, people have it removed all the time because, again, they don't see it as a necessary. You know something you don't have to have?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one of them, but God puts everything in the body for a reason so that you have that additional reservoir that you didn't even know about, I agree for a reason so that you have that additional reservoir that you didn't even know about, I agree. So now that that's gone, now your body has to try to fight itself, to try to, you know, to establish something that it doesn't have a backup anymore. Again, yes, you can live without it, but again, is it really something that you should be living without? So that's why we're talking about the different parts of the body.
Speaker 2:Don't discount one or the other.
Speaker 1:Again, we all can be a help to one another.
Speaker 2:One thing about the human body it will fight for itself.
Speaker 1:Exactly, we've been doing the most on it. As a matter of fact, it be fighting us. Stop it. I can do it myself. Remind me of a toddler. I want to do it.
Speaker 2:I want to do it. I want to do it. It will fight for itself. If there's an infection, it's going to fight to try to fight that infection. It's going to try to keep it from spreading. If the infection continues to spread, another organ is going to turn around and try to fix it, or fix itself, you know.
Speaker 2:But it gets to the point where it is overloaded, but it the body, will compensate for what is lacking, absolutely. You said that about the spleen. I think I was doing a surgery rotation and the doctor said, oh, we can live without a spleen, and it hit me. I was like, well, what's it there? For you know what I'm saying. Well, well, why is it there?
Speaker 1:you know it's there for a purpose.
Speaker 1:It's there for a purpose again buddy and then you know, you, you think that okay, just because you know, again, you take it, you take advantage of these little things. Like that. There's like the one of the smallest little veins, like that's one of the greater veins. You didn't realize, just because it was small, that's one of the greater veins, you didn't realize, just because it was small, it's one of the greater ones that you have. You cut that one, you out, you know. So we discount all of the things. You know, we discount a lot of stuff, especially when it comes to the human body. We discount putting the little things in God's hands.
Speaker 2:So I agree.
Speaker 1:And watching God, you know, grow it If we just take our hands off of it. Stop trying to cultivate it ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know, uh, come on, I mean he, he's our master physician. You know, he put this puzzle together himself, okay, so I think he knows what he's doing and you think, look, he knows, he did, he made.
Speaker 1:He made man from dust. Well, come on now. He made man from dust. Look, some of us can't even. We played in the dirt and all we got was mud puddles. He came up with a whole man. He came up with a whole man and then look, breathe life into him. We're going to breathe it on the. It's just going to blow down, it's going to fall apart.
Speaker 2:It's not going to work. It's not going to work for us. So yes. It is, and I was it it's not gonna work. Yeah, so, yes, it is, and I was um. That reminded me of the valley of the dry bones oh yes, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:He said can them bones live? And he got they. They got skin everything on, but without the breath of life, my god you don't get me started you got nothing, you know.
Speaker 2:So, uh, so, but yeah, that is, that is wonderful. Now just a just a little fun question to try to. I really enjoyed this interview. I do apologize for the interruptions, but I have truly enjoyed this interview. Now, if you could have dinner with any author, living or dead, who would it be?
Speaker 1:Now are you talking about?
Speaker 2:Anyone you can think of.
Speaker 1:Okay, and I know everybody would say Jesus, but I actually love to sit with Timothy Because I resonated with Timothy in the Bible, because Timothy is young. Timothy was young when he started his ministry. I'm always because I started working for the government so young. Everybody was older and so I mean I'm one, I'm one of those people that kind of catch on fast and I move fast and I do, you know.
Speaker 1:So you know I'm able to kind of excel a little quicker than others, and so it got to the point where I was teaching you know different, you know different subject matters, and my audience was of a more mature audience and they weren't very happy that this young girl was teaching them all this stuff. And so I got a lot of, you know, I used to get a lot of pushback and I've also found that in ministry too, in addition to being, you know, fairly young and I'm also a woman in ministry, and so therefore, sometimes you get pushback and to see how Paul encouraged Timothy to continue and what it is that he has been called to do Don't let anybody discount your age or you know the fact that you're young I would love to see how he was able to continue to navigate. Just to hear his thoughts on the matter and I know the word of God talks about again. Paul talked to him, but I want to know how Timothy felt about all of it Sure.
Speaker 1:I would love to talk to him about it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great Is I would love to talk to anybody. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Is there a book out there that has been written? If you had an opportunity, would you rewrite it? And I'm not talking biblical, just any book that you've written, any book that I've written, any book that's out in the public libraries or out here, other than something in the Bible?
Speaker 1:Would I want to rewrite it. Yes, you know, it's funny. I read a lot of books, but many of them I can't even remember. I can't remember because I haven't read a lot of them much anymore. Okay, you know what? I don't know the names of them, but I'm in school right now. Ok, yeah, pray for me. I'm supposed to be working on my doctorate, ok, great, and I can't stand half of these books.
Speaker 1:Sure, and the reason being is that, you know, I'm, I'm what I call a layman speaker. You know one that kind of. You know, I use a lot of layman terminology, kind of. You know, I use a lot of layman terminology and I literally despise books that have all these big wording in it that you know, for me, I end up getting lost in the sauce. I don't, like I have to look up every other word just to understand the context, sure.
Speaker 1:So if I had to rewrite anything, it would be all of those, because the way I see it is this you may have gotten to the doctrine level, you may have gotten to the master level, but if you write in layman terms, they're going to always get it. But when you speak on a level that high, then your audience is very slim and so and I and I understand what they're trying to do they're trying to get you to come up and you can still utilize some of it, but, my goodness, I'm like, ah, I'm like, you know, you get frustrated, you get tired, you get, you know, you don't want to look at it anymore, and so it becomes a struggle, really a press through. So if I had to rewrite most of the books that I have had to read for my doctorate, I'd rewrite them.
Speaker 2:And I get that because once you finish with your doctorate, yes, you have that knowledge, but you're going to be dealing with basic people.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:We're basic, but everyday people.
Speaker 1:Well, not only that, think about it. Even with everyday people, if I speak on everyday language, everybody gets it, Everybody. But if I speak at this doctorate level, then I only got the 10%. So therefore, I'm like, what happens to the 90 who are lost? So it looks so that way, if I speak in layman, a hundred percent of you will understand me, versus the not only the 10, I mean the 10%. So I'd rather and so that's that's who I am I'm like, and so that's who I am I'm like.
Speaker 1:And you know people say that, you know they like to hear me teach and preach. Because, again, I break things down, Because I'm like I don't want to talk over people's head and I also pay attention to my audience. Pay attention to who you're talking to. People don't want to be talked to. I mean way up here. I mean, like I said, I've been in government for 30 years and I read some of our letters. I'm like who are y'all talking to? I'm like I don't even get that letter. And I mean, I got a bachelor's degree in business. I got a biblical. I'm in BA in biblical studies, a master's in Christian counseling and I'm working on it, and I'm like I still don't know what y'all talking about. I'm like stop talking to people like that, you know, as a matter of fact, you make them feel inferior and you make them feel stupid. You know, and I'm like that's not fair, you know, especially when that's your audience, you should be, you know, you?
Speaker 2:I mean, I mean catering to your audience, you should be and a lot of times people clap just to be respectful. But if you're, I have been standing next to people. They say I heard a word he said and they keep the smile on their face. And because you lost them. Yes, you know, after one minute of speaking and you want to resonate with your audience, you want to keep them basically captive so they will understand what you're saying. I mean, that's more bang for your buck, so to speak.
Speaker 1:Right, and I've had some doze off on me too, but guess what, I don't even get mad at those because, I'm not, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be yelling and hollering and hooping, because it takes away from what I'm trying to tell you. I, you want to hear all that. You go, hop and holler later I need to get this word to you and so, even if you doze off, I found that the glory speaks to you the most when you're in that rim spirit. Anyway, so go on, go to sleep. Let the words that come out of my mouth settle in your spirit. You wake up time. I don't know why. I remember that. That's because the Lord settled it in your spirit. Now, that's the way. You probably wouldn't have paid attention.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:That's true Because a lot of times when I get something from him, I am either exceptionally quiet or as I'm about to wake up, yes, and I'd be like wow you know, okay, okay, lord, I see you and I keep that notebook right by the bed so that when, if I get waken up in the middle of the night by the Lord, I can write down exactly what. I got my phone with my flashlight on so I'll wake my husband up, I'll write it down real fast and as soon as I and I find myself, if I start After I pick that period, I get sleepy again. Okay, then I know I'm done. So I keep that little book by the bed so that when God speaks, I'm available to write down what he says, because you know you're not going to remember when you get up.
Speaker 2:No, you don't. You don't. I mean, I'm raising my hand, I have been too lazy to get up and write something down, and then I'd be like Lord, what did you give me, lord? What did you give me? It felt so powerful. Yes, but he will eventually give it back to you. But my point is, you're working harder to get it.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you might as well write it down Exactly.
Speaker 2:So it is something. It is very, very it's got something else. That's all I can tell you. It's something else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I appreciate them, I really do.
Speaker 2:I do too something else I appreciate them. I really do. I do too. I remember one day my husband came in because it was like every other day God was giving me something. I would tell him and he would be astonished at it. And I'm just, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, not thinking about it. So one day he came in, what God told you today, and I went here, I go, angle tag, but I'm just saying, you know it was comical, but you know, just recognizing your gifts, just recognizing your gifts. And you know, like you said, you can read a room and I sit back a lot of times.
Speaker 2:In fact I was at a meeting a couple of weeks ago and, you know, had to go out to it and talk about reading the room. I sit there and just make myself tickled. I just make myself tickled about people and how they maneuver and what they say and what they do and their mannerism and the holy spirits that come in, their humble spirits that come in, and I just be like, wow, he really thought somebody was going to offer him a chair. Everybody was just trying to do their own thing. And then I could see the guy got deflated because no one offered him a chair, you're a special bull.
Speaker 2:Everybody in here fighting for a seat.
Speaker 1:You better go on over there with the rest of us. Man, go on the overflow, get some overflow seats. You too good to sit in the overflow. Oh, like that Okay.
Speaker 2:Come on, you know you got to get in where you fit in, you know so you can hear what's being said, you know.
Speaker 2:but it's just funny how quick we are to get on a step, a step above or a higher step, and we lose our minds as to who we are and what we're really supposed to be doing, because we're still supposed to be serving the people, amen. So, oh, and people, people, just they tickle me sometimes, but anyway that we are, we are, we are to be tickled, uh, we are to be intrigued, uh, but we're also supposed to be able to teach and help one another. But you've got to be willing to be taught. Absolutely. A lot of people are not willing to be taught, because I've heard people say they can't tell me nothing. I was like, wow.
Speaker 1:There's a couple of things I've learned. First of all, I've learned that even if you don't like the speaker, it doesn't mean they don't have a word for you.
Speaker 2:You better say it Amen. Another one is, you know, there's a scripture in Proverbs that says if you think you know a lot, you'll know absolutely nothing, Nothing, Nothing.
Speaker 1:So you know, you mess yourself up because you close yourself. And even for what? Even with what you're familiar with doesn't mean God can't speak something else to you in that same scripture. So you just got to stay open. It all still matters.
Speaker 2:It does matter and we had many years ago, because I grew up in Sunday school in church and many years ago we had a speaker to come and they were an attorney and the title I don't remember the entire title, but part of the title for the Sunday school was the law Okay and so, uh, they were very brilliant in the law, but they were very brilliant in man's law Okay, brilliant in man's law.
Speaker 2:Okay, so their summary came from the law book instead of, you know, the biblical laws. And we were very I got to give my church kudos. We were very polite, we were very welcoming. There was no downplaying of anything. You know, we didn't make a big deal about it, but you could tell everybody was like they didn't read their Sunday school book. The person who brought they didn't read their Sunday school book, they didn't read their Bible. They didn't get the gist of what was really supposed to be said, even though, um, we knew, but we didn't make them feel bad because they were our guests, right.
Speaker 1:Right, that's how you said that. Because I look, I just did a bible study talking about the law. Oh cool, I just did about something because I said you guys even know what the law is. They're like yeah, it's the 10 commandments. I'm like is it? And they're like oh you know, so you know, and that's and that's one thing I love too. I love to bring clarity and understanding to people. Cause, again, in order for you to to want to do better and to grow, you got to get an understanding. You have.
Speaker 2:All I get is get an understanding. Get an understanding and all your knowledge get an understanding.
Speaker 1:And even the Ethiopian said how can I understand without a teacher?
Speaker 2:How can, how can? And I was reading that the other day where Jesus was saying have I not taught you? Have I not taught you, you know? And I know he spoke in parable and you know it was very foreign to the disciple. But I mean, have I not taught you, you know? So I'm here, I've been available to you, you know. So it just lets you know, and all about getting getting understanding and getting an understanding You're going gonna have to do a little bit of research, I don't care how oh my gosh, you can't just come on wednesday and on sunday and on sunday school and say, I mean, sunday morning, you got to pick up.
Speaker 1:On monday, you're gonna have to pick up. On tuesday, you're gonna have to pick it, you got to sit down and get to god for yourself. And I, I equate it all the time with dating, you know, with you know, you know, getting to know somebody, I don't care how, what type of relationship you got, it's not going to get any better if you don't spend no time with that person. That's true. Relationships have to be nurtured. They have to be nurtured and they have to be built, because otherwise you don't even know to trust a person until you build that trust.
Speaker 1:That is true and a lot of, and God gave his life for us. He gave all of that to us without us trusting him. First. He said, okay, I'm giving this to you Now you got to trust. Trust in what I. You got to believe me, the only way to believe somebody. Look you, try them. That's true. You try them. You got to try, try for yourself. Let me tell you, I know for myself and I want to encourage you and I'm gonna tell you about my testimony so that you can be, so you can be encouraged and know that if you try for yourself, I guarantee you better better, better, yeah, it will be better for you.
Speaker 2:You'll be more. It's just like learning something new. It looks complicated at first because you've never done it, but the more you step out into the word, the more you read the word, the more you manifest that word into you, the more confident you become.
Speaker 1:Well, I tell you know people try to complain about. Oh, you know it's hard. I said let me tell you, didn't nobody come out? Nobody's warm walking, nobody. You didn't come out talking. I mean I don't care. You might have said you know, you might have been able to sound like you were saying the word, but you didn't have a full vocabulary, you did not have command of the English language. It took some work and some of us had lifts, some of us stuttered, some of us, you know, didn't talk at the timing that we were delayed. I mean. So again, all of it was a process but because you can't remember that, you assume you just arrived.
Speaker 1:So I'm telling you, if you trust God and his process, and if you truly want this, you got to want it. That's another thing. Them toddlers want to get up and walk because they want to get away from it. They want to get to the kitchen, they want to get there. If you really want this, you got to have to work for it.
Speaker 2:And the one thing about God is God don't make it hard, we make it hard, we're lazy and then we're hesitant. But you have to be around people who can help build you up.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but you know, if you ask God, he said if you ask anything in my name, I shall give it. So if you desire to have like-minded people, if you ask God, he said if you ask anything in my name, I shall give it. So if you desire to have like minded people, if you desire to have somebody to help you along the way, you need to ask God for it. And then, when he said, you also need to be, need to accept how God says it to you too, because you don't expect to be somebody who's fun and it might be some, you know, with glasses and whose hair, you know, is balding in the middle. You know, I'm just saying, yeah, you have to take it the way that god gives it, because he knows that you'll receive it better that way. You've got to trust him, that's what you have to do I gotta talk about god all day long.
Speaker 1:I can preach on the word all day long, uh, and that's the beauty of it.
Speaker 2:I I mean that is the beauty of it. It's just wonderful to be able to connect and to connect with you. I have truly enjoyed this. Like I said, we're kind of like light minds on a lot of them, like, yeah, I do that. That's how I feel about this.
Speaker 2:That and the other, you know, and it's a beautiful thing, it's truly a beautiful thing. Now, is there anything closing thoughts you would like for the audience to have or leave with the audience? Anything, any topic, whether it's your book, where they can get your book, your website, anything and everything.
Speaker 1:You can put a little bit all that in there, okay okay, so I'm still up and coming, so y'all keep praying for me. So, um, I'm not, I'm not one of those authors who have a website and who have all those things, but, um, the book is scheduled, tentatively to come out next month, mark in march, uh, 2025. Okay, I would just say stay tuned. If you want, you can follow me on Facebook. I am Tanya Vincent, t-a-n-y-a. Vincent. You can also reach me by email if you want. It's one, at least one at Gmail, at least it's one, the number one A, as in Apple H, as in Henry.
Speaker 2:L as in love.
Speaker 1:I, as in Iguana S, as in Sam E, as in Edward, the number one again at gmailcom. So, again, you're more than welcome to reach out if you have any questions, comments. I'm just excited about the project. I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, and also.
Speaker 1:I'm also looking forward to what God has next. So amen, I'm in the waiting room, and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:So thank you so much. You have a wonderful rest of your day. I'm going to finish up mine and we will talk soon. How about that?
Speaker 1:That sounds great. I appreciate you, Carolyn. Thank you so much for having me on, oh you're more than welcome.
Speaker 2:I have truly enjoyed it. I have truly enjoyed it. So, hey, keep that smile, keep that same mentality, and let me know how that works out for you when it comes to work. I tell people I've been laid off more than I can count. I am a nurse and you can't help when people put their chain on their door and lock it and you're like, oh, we can't get in, things happen, Okay, things happen.
Speaker 1:I have let go and let God.
Speaker 2:Amen, and that's what you have to do.
Speaker 1:So whatever God decides, that's it, I'm an open vessel. So again, thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you, have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1:You too, sweetie, be blessed.
Speaker 2:You as well, thank you.