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Gentry's Journey
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Gentry's Journey
When She Rises: Breaking the Silence on Hidden Traumas
What happens when women refuse to suffer in silence? Lives transform, generations heal, and nations change.
In this powerful conversation, three courageous co-authors from "Rising Above Narcissistic Abuse Volume 3" share the journeys that brought them to storytelling as a path toward healing. Visionary anthology creator Ina Johnson-Myers reveals how divine inspiration during her darkest moment led to a bestselling series now touching lives across multiple countries. With exactly twelve authors in each volume—a number she believes is spiritually significant—these books are creating safe spaces for sharing previously unspoken traumas.
The discussion delves deep into various healing modalities. Chelsea Lail Kennedy, a military veteran and somatic practitioner, explains how trauma gets stored in the body and how breathwork creates pathways for release. "When we're afraid, we get hunched over...we're stifling our oxygen," she notes, describing how physical tension perpetuates psychological distress. Her approach helps trauma survivors reconnect with their bodies through guided breathwork and mindfulness.
Perhaps most moving is Eula Guest's candid account of postpartum depression, including disturbing visions she initially feared sharing. Now an advocate for maternal mental health, she emphasizes how cultural dismissal of new mothers' struggles as mere "baby blues" prevents proper intervention. "A lot of mothers are not going to go to their doctor and say 'I'm having visions of killing my baby' because you're afraid you're going to have your child taken from you," she explains, highlighting why so many suffer in dangerous silence.
The authors collectively illuminate how narcissistic abuse typically stems from unhealed childhood trauma, creating cycles that repeat across generations. "Broken women raise broken children," Ina observes, underlining why healing isn't just personal—it's a gift to future generations.
With Volume 3 launching May 15th during Mental Health Awareness Month, these women invite you to witness their journeys from trauma to transformation. Their testimony stands as powerful evidence that your story, however painful, can become the lifeline someone else needs to begin their own healing journey. Will you join them in breaking the silence?
Okay, good evening ladies. Thank you all again for joining me on Gentry's Journey. I am honored to have you all. So we will start with Ms Ina, if you would introduce yourself.
Speaker 2:Hello, I am Ina Johnson-Myers. I'm the visionary author of the series and visionary author of this volume three, seven-time best-selling author, and I live in the Atlanta Georgia area and I'm the CEO of when she Rides, coaching speaking and author. So I just I'm thankful to be here and I'm very grateful to you, carolyn, for having us on your show.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So, ms Eula, you're next on the roster.
Speaker 3:So, ms Eula you're next on the roster. My name is Eula May Guest, but I don't use the May that often up here in the North, but when I go down South everybody calls me Eula May and I'm from originally from Brooklyn, New York, raised in the Bronx, New York. I own an artist management company and I'm just happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you for coming and Miss Chelsea.
Speaker 4:Greetings. My name is Chelsea Lail Kennedy and I'm a co-author with Volume 3 of Rising Above Narcissistic Abuse. I'm super excited to be here. Thank you for having me. I'm coming in from South Dakota, midwest USA, and I am the founder of EEL Health and Wellness, a somatic breathwork, mindfulness and movement practice that helps people work through their unprocessed trauma.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're going to get more into that. Okay, we're definitely going to get more into that. Now this item what was your inspiration regarding when she Rides?
Speaker 2:Just because I just recently came out of my situation, I wanted something that was inspiring as far as what I was doing and I knew it was something that I was gonna be coaching and helping other women. So when she Rides was not only the mantra for me, but it was the mantra that God gave me to help other women. So, you know, we're not going to stay in that that traumatic situation. We're not going to stay in that trauma. We're going to rise above it and do the things that God has ordained us to do and that has purposed us to do. So that's why, when she rise, OK, great, great.
Speaker 1:And when we talk about specializing in narcissistic abuse, how do you bring people through? I can't say it's just women that go through narcissistic abuse, but how do you bring people through?
Speaker 2:right, it's not just women, but I speak on it from a women's perspective okay, all right, that's what I went through through.
Speaker 2:So it's not a matter of just bringing them through, it's just giving them the tools and the techniques to move through that pain. A lot of times women that are in that trauma, they don't see other women that are successfully moving out of it and are healing and have healed and have, you know, careers and joy and happiness and another marriage. That's love. They don't see that. Oftentimes All they see is the pain. So I said this was something that God gave me to help not only me, to you know heal, but to help other women heal and move through that, because the pain and trauma that's not God's design for us. So it's just about helping the women, like I said, giving the tools, the strategies, aligning them with other women that they see. They can read and see that, yes, I went through all of that trauma, but look at what I'm doing today because I've done the work. So that's what this whole situation of anthology in my business is about.
Speaker 1:Okay, great, now, ms Yule.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:When you talk about the hosting of the workshops to help people build their brand, and does it have to be a particular brand? Is it faith-based? Um? What clients do you work with on that?
Speaker 3:it's all of the above. I have clients that are um singers, writers, authors, um I just um hired a model she just came on board, so it's a cross section and small business owners, entrepreneurs, people who want to further their career and learn how to build their brand online.
Speaker 1:Okay. Okay Now, ms Chelsea, when we talk about trauma and individuals who go through trauma and I see you have a military background- yes, ma'am. Okay, so how do you help people with their trauma recovery?
Speaker 4:um, somatic processing through breath work, had really taken that time to slow down and giving the nervous system a place to breathe, rest and reset and and really looking when we take a deep breath in, where are we holding on to that tension? And does that tension show up? You know I often lead people. What color is it? You know, where are you holding it? Does it have a shape? Is it hot, is it cold? And just being with that presence, because it was inspired for me on my own trauma recovery.
Speaker 4:But there was a book that was written called the Body Keeps the Score and it talks about the cellular memory that our body holds on to what we've experienced. And these tools have really been a framework for processing for me, and not necessarily on a cognitive level, but getting relaxation in my neck, realigning my spine when we're afraid, we get hunched over and depressed and then we're stif, stifling our, really our anxiety is now up right. First thing our brain says hey, we're not getting enough enough oxygen. So that physiological, psychosomatic response to trauma and and getting out of the fight or the fight flight or rigid freeze, um, those, those nervous system trauma responses okay, Okay.
Speaker 1:Thank you for that, Because I think a lot of people don't realize stress can be deadly and the stress has to be controlled. It has to be controlled at some point in time. Now going back to Ms Ina what inspired you to start on this anthology journey?
Speaker 2:the idea um. When I was in rome speaking on um the difference between healthy and narcissistic loving relationships, he gave me the title of the book and he told me that not only was I going to was I using my voice.
Speaker 2:I was going to help other women use their voice, to help heal women, generations and nations the way you put it generations and nations and it's been. It's been amazing Again. When I first you know I never inspired to write a book, I had no desire ever to write a book it was going through this situation that he actually told me to get up out of my prayer closet because I was having a panic attack, serious panic attack, and get up out of my prayer closet and go sit in front of my computer. He wrote my book in 71 days, from the time I was writing it to the time I self-published on Amazon. He never knew anything about self-publishing. He taught me everything about how to self-publish.
Speaker 2:So in 71 days I went from having a panic attack to a book, you know being a published author. So throughout this whole journey he's given me the direction and the strategies to do what I'm doing. And, like I said, this anthology is being sold in multiple countries UK, africa and it's just amazing to see how the stories of these women are touching again women all around the world. I didn't when he said it was, you know, nations and generations. I heard it but I didn't really understand the magnitude of what he was going to do with this So-.
Speaker 1:I get that. I get that, you know. At one time I said, okay, god, I did what you asked me to do and it didn't work out the way I planned it. So what's next? And so he said okay, god, I did what you asked me to do and it didn't work out the way I planned it. So what's next? And so he said I have a larger platform for you.
Speaker 1:And I was like okay, all right, I received that. Basically, I went that's what's up, you know, because we don't. Yes, he gives us the message, he gives us the goal and the vision, but he doesn't give us the full vision, you know. But we walk by faith, right, we walk by faith.
Speaker 2:I'm happy he doesn't give us the full vision because, me being me, I'm helpful. I want to help you. So if he gives me the full vision, I'm going to mess it up because I'm helping you and he doesn't give me my help for real you.
Speaker 1:It can be staggering, because the curves, the twists, the turns, the bumps, the lumps, the bumpy road Be like oh wait a minute, I don't know, maybe I made a wrong turn somewhere. So we have to truly allow him to lead. Allow him to lead Now.
Speaker 3:Ms Yula, what made you decide to be a part of the anthology? Still in my situation, but I'm closer to the end of my situation, and when I first heard the call to write my story I was hesitant because I'm still in it, but I knew I needed to be an example for my daughters. I have three daughters One is 24 and the oldest is 43. And I wanted to be an example for them of how to get out of situations that doesn't suit them.
Speaker 1:And everybody's journey is different, correct? So we have to model it to that person what they're going through and what their journey may look like. How do you do that?
Speaker 3:Well, first I have to talk to them and find out how long they've been in the situation, what the situation is. You know, one size does not fit all and you have to make sure that you advise them according to where they're at, because they may not be ready to leave yet. They may still be totally in love, totally infatuated with this person. So you can't just tell them go ahead and leave. You have to give them steps and tools on how to move forward and to get out.
Speaker 1:That's great, that's what I was looking for, because everyone is not ready to move, everybody's not ready to receive, so you kind of have to hold their hand and, you know, meet them where they are and not push them into another direction, Totally. So now we don't want you to give anything away, but just give us just the title of your chapter right now, just the title.
Speaker 3:My title is Out of Mess, yeah, out of mess comes healing. Great, out of messy comes healing.
Speaker 1:OK, that's great. It sounds great. All right. Now moving to Miss Chelsea. What made you become a part of the anthology?
Speaker 4:Well, miss Ina, she is who she says. She is right. She became a mentor to me in 2021. And I got to write an anthology that released in 2022.
Speaker 4:I actually have Ina's book Girl Pray, Don't Play. That was really a big deal in my own journey. So I watched her author call for volumes one and two and I didn't think I was ready to write, and when three came out I honestly still didn't feel ready to write. But I knew I couldn't stay silent anymore and I knew the magnitude and the power of like getting it out on paper from having done a previous book. So I'm I'm really excited to be here.
Speaker 4:I'm really, really thankful that she walks the, she walks the talk right and that that model behavior of like keep going Right and then that those she has some of the of like the best one-liners that just kind of stopped some some loops that were in my brain and even patterns of behavior of even thinking like, well, he's being nice again, right, and it's like I know he's being nice again, but and I know it's not real, but I still have this draw, yeah, I'm help me like cut that, draw off, flip that switch, and it really does take somebody who knows what you're going through to help you do that, Because if people don't know, I mean you just kind of sound a little crazy, which is sad because people don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, I think some people don't know, and I think some people are in denial, and sometimes your truthfulness irritates them, so to speak. You know, so they may want you to be stuck like them and not come out and not express yourself, not grow, because what's the old phrase, misery loves company. So sometimes we have to walk our own walk, and by you having a coach to help you, to assist you on that journey, is the better. At least you know you're not walking alone. So God places people in our lives. Like you said, her talk and her walk match. Like you said, her talk and her walk match. And so that is inspirational in and of itself, to know that there's already trust there. So what she says, she makes it happen, and that's a great thing.
Speaker 4:Now, give us the title, just the title only of your chapter, please.
Speaker 1:One Way Out. Oh okay, okay, okay, of your chapter please one way out. Oh okay, okay, okay, now back. Thank you so much for that. Now back to you, miss item.
Speaker 2:This is your third anthology this is the third of this series of this series, and so the first two.
Speaker 1:Uh, they were number one bestsellers, correct?
Speaker 2:absolutely I said I wasn't expecting this with the first one. You know we knew it was kind of going to be. You know good, I didn't really expect it. Matter of fact, the first one was used in women's shelters great, great so that's what I'm. I didn't expect the magnitude of it, so yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, Now with the preparation. How many women did you have writing in that anthology?
Speaker 2:That has this number. He likes 12.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I've been the first time. I was trying to get 20 authors and by the time I finished, author Call, my sister was like so how many authors do you have? I said I only have 12. Immediately, god said I did a lot with 12.
Speaker 1:the first time I said oh, oh, oh, he told me he did a lot with 12 the first time. I said oh, oh, oh, he told me he did a lot with 12 the first time.
Speaker 2:Let me apologize. Exactly For the second time again, I was pushing for 420. I got 12. I got 12 on this one too.
Speaker 1:Okay, 12 is his number.
Speaker 2:That's what he said he's sticking with.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, numbers are good, they're good, but to be obedient is better, oh, absolutely. But you know, and I can't, I can't thank for the Lord, but I know I've heard other people say, oh, I want this many, I want that many, you know, but you get what you get, but what you really want to do is get the word out.
Speaker 2:I get what he gave me. Like I said, it's this idea that it's that 12th, it wasn't 13,. It was a 14th 12th, it was 12. It's like's like. I hear you. Okay, I hear you.
Speaker 1:Okay, Now of your first and your second book and your third. How many first time authors did you have?
Speaker 2:On all of them. There's probably about maybe six, seven on the first one, there's about six, seven on the second one, and a lot of them are military too. I'm military too, so a lot of them are military. I really try to pull the military women in, because military we don't, we don't. We go with all kinds of trauma in the military and we don't talk about it. You know military sexual trauma. You know we don't talk about it. You know military sexual trauma. You know we don't talk about it. And so these writing these anthologies helps them start the healing process of getting rid of. You know years of trauma I had PTSD for like 20 plus years before I even dealt with it so that years of trauma, these anthologies, I think, are doing a lot of the healing that media coaching or someone going to therapy may not necessarily be doing, because they're doing it in a community of other people that have gone through similar traumas through similar traumas.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, that is good to know. I think we've all heard of the unspoken trauma that a lot of military women go through and how they're vilified for trying to speak out and how their voices are silenced. And I saw a program and I think it was. It was true, it was.
Speaker 1:It was not a fictional movie, but her rank was really high, the female's rank was really high and the military guy that was beneath her he was like I'm not doing it and it's nothing you can do about it. You know we don't listen to women, and she was like, and she said he was absolutely right, you know. So your rank meant nothing, but you know me being here civilian, you know, but respect means a lot, you know, and so to have to cope with that, and so she was sharing portions of her story. It was maybe on one of those, the ones where you know the host is just asking the questions and they are just pouring out their heart about their experiences. I think it may have came about when this young lady came up missing and when they found her she was deceased a few years ago.
Speaker 1:I think everybody wanted to put a spotlight on the abuse that goes in the military and the disrespect that is shown to women. So that is, you're helping a group of women that probably went untouched, like you said, because if it's unspoken, who else would know how to bring it out?
Speaker 2:Yeah, except for a lot of us. For me I know I never dealt with it because of my security clearance it's like if you talk about it, then you're unstable. If you're unstable, then you don't need the security clearance.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:Security clearance is my money.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I mean, you have to know what it is, you have to know when to hold them and know when to follow them.
Speaker 1:You have to know how to walk the line. You really have to know how to do that, when it's best to do it, how to get it done, because we do that even as civilians, when we're working with people. And you know, I'm in nursing, I have been in nursing for 40 years and there are some unwritten rules in basically any and everything you do and I haven't seen anything so disheartening that it has traumatized me. But you still go through those emotions because your patients go through emotions, their loved ones go through emotions, their family goes through emotions. So you're there to help them through whatever crisis intervention needs to be done. But no one thinks to do crisis intervention on the health care worker. You know, because this is, this is part of our daily lives, especially me working critical care. You know we get the sickest of the sick and no one ever pulls us through. I think we pull each other through, some of us to a degree, some of us don't. I'm not going to say we all work well together. Everybody doesn't play well in the sandbox and that's just life. It's sad to say, but it's true. It is life. But there are some that you can look to who will give you a word of encouragement and usually that person is me, but you know I get weak sometimes too.
Speaker 1:Okay, and we were help. I was helping one of the nurses with a patient and she was really passing and the family knew it and I just jumped in to help her and they started humming, you know as their culture called it. They started humming and it became so emotional in the room and I walked behind the nurse that I was assisting, I was doing something. I said I'm trying my best to hold it together, but it's it's, it's, it's um a good spirit in the room, but it's very emotional and you know, we don't need to be breaking down in front of the family when they're trying their best to hold it together. And she said I'm, I'm feeling the same thing and I'm like okay, so we're partners in this, okay, but we got it done.
Speaker 1:And and sometimes you just need someone who's going to be there, you know, to hold your hand, so to speak, to walk you through. You know. No, you know, and yes, they're patient, there's somebody else's loved one. But I'm human, you know. I have emotions. No, it's not my family, but I'm not cold about it. You know, I'm pretty good with people who are going, who are grieving. Now, when it comes to my family, that's a whole different story, that's a whole different Cadillac. So you know, but it is what it is. So we need each other is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:So, no matter what people go through the trauma and this is what we're talking about tonight just the trauma, and it is suppressed, it is deep, and I often tell people well, they should be over that by now I say you can't tell a person when to stop grieving, you can't tell a person when they're healed. That is just out of your realm. Okay, you can't run it all, you can't run everything. So, with that being said, ms Ina, what are your thoughts on that? The trauma, the rushing, the grief process, rushing, the trauma.
Speaker 2:You can't rush trauma. And when we talk about trauma, trauma is another is broke, emotion broke. You know the mental and the emotional side of it. People relate that part or make that part unnecessary. Now, when they talk about you know they'll go to the doctor for their diabetes. People relate that part or make that part unnecessary. Now when they talk about you know they'll go to the doctor for their diabetes. They'll go to the doctor for you know their sugar and you know broke arm and all this other stuff.
Speaker 2:But when your emotions and when your mind is broke, your mind operates everything else it does. So people don't want to deal with you know, because that's not something they see. If they see an arm broken, then they want to deal with that because they can physically see that. But broken emotions broken, you know, mentally, that breaks not only the person that is dealing with it but it breaks the generations of that person.
Speaker 2:Broken women raise broken kids. So you know you want to get that brokenness, you know, fixed quicker than you want to get that broken arm fixed, because that broken arm is only going to affect you. The broken mind and the broken emotions are going to affect the generations that you raise. So that's a critical that's. You know the things people don't think about. You know that's what this whole process is about. You know we're talking about rising above narcissistic abuse because we're trying to heal women that are raising children. Because you're going to pour that trauma, you're going to pour that negativity in your children and your children are going to do it into their children. Generations of this cycle. That's unnecessary, so he's working to fix it now.
Speaker 1:They mimic what they see. Absolutely they mimic what they see. Now let's step over to Chelsea. Okay, we don't really. When it comes to trauma, how do you help people deal with their recovery?
Speaker 4:through their breath and in taking them on a journey to return safely to their body and really actually feeling into some of that pain. Right, we're holding it anyway, let's breathe into it and see, see what's there. Um, it's very complimentary. I don't do any like counseling, but a lot of counselors will refer me, um to support their clients and kind of getting that somatic brain body connection with their breath to help them process um, and they can have physical discharge.
Speaker 4:Um, such as like shaking arms or even a yawn is a shift in the nervous system and we're rewiring the brain to really experience joy and play again. Because when we're in that fearful survival state all the time, right, we don't, we don't know how to experience the good. We're always waiting for that other shoe to drop. How do we turn that down? How do we slow down? How do we stop running and how do we slow down? How do we stop running and how do we just breathe, be still, know and trust in god that he will be exalted amongst the earth and amongst the nations? Um, because it's like I mean really we say people don't want to face it.
Speaker 4:But the number one symptom of trauma, ptsd is avoidance. Right, we are master avoiders, like I'm just not going there. I'm not going there. Even simple exercises like going around, like looking up and following circles with your eyes but trying to stop at every number on the clock, it's an exercise and you'll, if you try, try it you'll find that your eyes might skip a few numbers.
Speaker 4:That's just information, like, hmm, all right, what am I not wanting to look at over there? That somatic awareness, like that body keeps the score. What's happening inside of the body? And and how can we just bring awareness to it and not not force to shift, but just allow it to be and see what happens? Because you can't force healing, you can't rush it and really you can't do it and you can't do it alone. If that was possible, I would have been healed, right, yeah, right, but I but I had to, I had to take slow and deliberate steps and I had to get support. I couldn't do it alone and God led me to those people and places and it really has been a journey.
Speaker 1:OK, so what made you decide to start the somatic healing and to help others?
Speaker 4:The profound experience that I had in my own healing recovery and for me, service didn't end when I took my uniform off. I knew there was people still coming back with trauma and that I had. I wanted to be part of that light to say, hey, we can and do recover, we can get back up. Um, we have mirror neurons, right that, monkey? See, monkey, do that mimic. You know it helps people when other people can see that you're doing it. Much like these stories are telling, right, like I'm in it, you was in it and we're we're walking through this and I can see her covered in grace and I know I'm covered in grace, I know that we have joy. That makes no sense right.
Speaker 4:I know that we have peace and I know that there was a lot of turbulence through it, right. But but really just giving people that hope that we can and do recover. There is a way out and and God is our guide like he's gonna patch each journey the way that it needs to go Right, Because you already touched on it it really is different for everybody. So, yeah, I'm excited, I love I'm teaching right now at a center for women and children and really I feel like I get more out of each class than they do. I know that I'm giving them safe space. A lot of times people will fall asleep in my class and then it's like right, yes, they felt safe, they could just ah, right, it takes it's. In AA they always say you can't keep what you have unless you give it away. It's very much that right, this kind of leapfrog thing. When I get to share with others, I get to grow and heal certain parts of myself and that just keeps paying forward in an overflowing way. I love what I get to do.
Speaker 1:That's great. I mean, it shows on your face that you enjoy doing what you do. Now, how long have you been doing it? Have you been doing it?
Speaker 4:My personal somatic breathwork experience started in 2013,. Shift to somatic work specifically in 2015. But it was in 2013 that I realized that I didn't have I would hold my breath, right, I didn't have a good breathing pattern. I reverse breathe, cause myself a lot of extra anxiety because of that. Those psychological symptoms of trauma. Um, so very, very breath informed practices over the last 12 years um, uh, trauma, trauma informed identifiers and um, really just teaching people myself, right, like all I got to do when I first started teaching um, I started officially teaching in 2021, was like you just got to show up and breathe, chelsea, right, and I kind of relaxed myself knowing that and then it's like, okay, my favorite thing to do is help people feel better in their bodies, and it can be really hard to do that when we're holding on to pain. So I just share what's worked for me and invite people to do the same.
Speaker 1:That's true. That's good. That is good. Thank you for sharing that. Now, Ms Yola, you you speak with women regarding education and postpartum depression. Take us down that road, please.
Speaker 3:Well, in 1991, I had a stillborn and it was really traumatic. And then in 2000, I had a baby and I suffered with really severe postpartum depression. It was so bad that I was having visions of drowning my baby and I knew that wasn't normal because I had other children prior to that and I've had depression before, but not on that level where I was having visions and scared to literally bathe my daughter. I seeked some help with the birthing center here in New York and they partnered me with a sister friend who went through similar trauma and she helped me work through the trauma and postpartum and after they have the baby and prior before they have the baby to help them on a journey, especially first-time mothers, because we don't tell all the stories that women need to hear because they're afraid they're going to traumatize the women while they're pregnant.
Speaker 3:It goes, scare them. You know what to look for and a lot of times the partners don't know what to look for. They don't realize that she's staying in bed too long, she's sleeping too much. Why is she not caring for the baby the way she should? Maybe she doesn't have help and she needs help. So I come in as a sister friend and I work with these women to help them through the first year of the baby's life.
Speaker 1:That is great. How long have you been doing that?
Speaker 3:Oh gosh, since 2000.
Speaker 1:OK, 2000. Ok, I thought I heard that, and that is a unique role to be in, because I think some women don't recognize that they are having postpartum depression. I think they probably feel as though they're tired from just carrying the baby and then giving birth, and so you have to start life kind of over again, you know, as a woman that's no longer pregnant. So I just wonder how many people are going undiagnosed with their postpartum depression?
Speaker 3:It has to be, at least in New York, 70%. There's been cases documented over the years of women just killing themselves and killing a baby and people are like, well, how could she do that? But nobody saw the warning signs that she was going through postpartum depression, she was depressed, she was scared and a lot of mothers are not going to go to their doctor and say I'm having visions of killing my baby because you're afraid you're going to have your child take it from you. So they hold that inside. They don't even tell their own family members. I'm having visions of drowning my baby. I'm having visions of stabbing my child.
Speaker 3:You know, who talks about. They don't talk about that and then it ends up being, unfortunately, a lot of cases where they don't make it to the other side and we're trying to pass legislation that women are checked when they're six weeks postpartum, that they're checked for depression, for malnutrition, to see what's going on with these mothers, to find out if they have help in the home, to find out who's helping them with the baby, if they're having time for self care for themselves. It's very important that these mothers have time to self care and take care of themselves so they can take care of their children and their babies.
Speaker 1:I agree with that. But do you think that a lot of times the partner just does not recognize and just say, oh well, women have babies every day? Now that's a phrase that kind of grinds my gears, because yeah, women have babies every day. But there can be problems every day, and not just with that one woman, but with the birthing process in and of itself. But with the birthing process in and of itself it's not as easy as it seems and I think sometimes people are so dismissive of symptoms even when people say you know, I'm tired. When the new mom says I'm tired, people are like well, you know, all new mothers are tired. Well, you know.
Speaker 1:I think we need to go a little bit deeper to see just what they mean by being tired, okay, what they mean by being sleep, and people miss the mark. I feel personally that people miss that mark when it comes to that. They want life just to go on, as though you know well, she's no longer pregnant, so everything's got to go on. As though you know well, she's no longer pregnant, so everything's got to go back together. But you have to understand there's emotions and endorphins that's tied to that pregnancy. You know there's a lot of things that has to be corrected, and it's not going to be corrected in six weeks, not at this, you know. Know, in six weeks after birth it's not. What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3:brush it off and call it the baby blues. You know like that's expected for the mother to be sad or or be crying, and they don't take the time to really ask the mother. Well, how do you feel? How do you really feel feel, if they say they're tired? Like you said, ask more questions. Well, how tired do you feel? Do you feel exhausted? Do you feel emotionally tired? How do you feel about your baby? Do you want to take care of the baby? Today? These questions will bring out some of the problems that's going on with the mother. We don't ask enough of those good questions and I believe that the people closest to them miss the mark even more than the ones that's outside of the family.
Speaker 1:I agree, and that's sad. It is sad. It is sad. I don't know if it's lack of maturity, I can't put my finger on it. Some people just don't want, some people are just naive. They're just naive and well, you shouldn't be going through this, you shouldn't be feeling this, you shouldn't be doing this and you know. Ok, then, person that just carried a baby, you can't carry a baby, you can't tell me how to feel, you know. So I think, even with the birthing classes, they help, but I don't think they go in. Well, they may. Now, you know, my youngest is 29. So I don't know what they're teaching in the birthing classes at this point in time, you know, but I think it needs to be like heads up, you know, because I don't remember them mentioning postpartum depression in my birthing classes and not only um, not talking about um, um, the postpartum depression.
Speaker 3:They're not talking about how women who have C-sections, how that affects them as well, because that's a major surgery. So they're not going to get up the next day and do jumping jacks and they can't go do laundry and pick up heavy stuff because they're still sore. And people don't recognize that either. They figure, oh well, she just had a baby and she's walking around, she could do everything else. No, she can't. She can't.
Speaker 1:I mean because, like you say, that is major surgery and I tell people all the time when someone cuts you, makes an incision over your tummy, you have had surgery, you know. Um, yes, it happens often and yes, you know, the majority of the times it's going to go well, but you have to heal from the surgery. Yes, you know, and people don't. People have babies every day. They go back to that phrase and you'd be willing to say you know, I just don't know what to do. You don't know what to do because you can't express yourself for somebody whose mind is not open to receive what you have to say, you know. So that's why I think a lot of people don't express themselves. And I think they know, like you say, you know, I'm afraid to bathe my baby because I'm afraid I'm going to drown my baby. They know it's wrong and they don't want people feeling a certain type of way about them. What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3:Well, I experienced it myself. It took me about. I think my daughter was two months old. When I finally told my husband something wasn't right. I'm having these visions of drowning my baby. I literally would not bathe her. I was so terrified I would drown her. And I would just pass her to him and say can you bathe her for me? I'm a little tired. And he was happy. It was the first time, dad, he did all that. And then one day I just said to him. I said I'm having these visions of drowning her. He's looking at me like what, what are you talking about? And I said I'm having these visions of drowning her. He's looking at me like what, what are you talking about? And I said I'm having these visions, while I'm awake, of drowning her. I'm terrified to bathe her. And he called his mom and she said well, it doesn't sound right. She needs to. You know, see somebody.
Speaker 3:And I was afraid to go to the doctor because, like I said, I was afraid they would want to take my child from me. Sure, you know BCW would be involved in this case and no parent wants to go through that. But you know, thank God that I did some research and I found a birthing center and, um, they worked primarily with women who were expecting up until the baby was a year old, and that was a godsend for me. That gave me a label and a name to what was going on with me, because I never heard of postpartum depression. You know, they used to call it the baby blues back in the day. Oh, you just got the baby blues. You'll be all right, you know, but it's deeper than that.
Speaker 1:And see, I've never heard that term the baby blues but whether it's deeper than that. And see, I've never heard that term the baby blues. But whether it's the postpartum depression or the baby blues, it is deeper than what a lot of people are aware of. You know, and like I said when I hear that phrase, women have babies every day. Well, they sure do, but that you know. You still have got to come together as an individual, as the person that you were before, and, like I said, all these hormones are bouncing up and down and you just don't know. You're just doing your best to get through. You're just doing your best to get through. So thank you for that, thank you for sharing that, and you do. Speaking engagements regarding the education of postpartum depression. Yes, I do, okay, okay, okay, great, okay. Now back to you, ms Anam. Tell us more about your anthologies. What do you expect from this one? Have you had any success stories, people coming back to you thanking you for the anthology?
Speaker 2:Yes, first of all I want to say I'm glad with Hugo how she's shining the light on how women go through these issues, go through their traumas and they're scared to say anything because of outside, how people think. But that's why so many people go through these traumas, go through the abuse and do it in silence. I'm so afraid of what people will say and all of this comes to light in, you know, together. I didn't, I didn't even realize about your baby and I'm sorry about that. And it's just, it's just amazing how these women coming on the anthology they have traumas from different areas but it's all coming together to be able to heal and talk about all of it that we suppress because we're afraid of what the outside people think. So I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 2:But this anthology I honestly believe that people are waiting for volume three to come out. I hear it all the time. They can't wait for this to come out. But volume one and volume two was such a success because of the mandate of these conversations that we're having, the conversations that we're having on this show.
Speaker 2:These conversations need to be had because people are not, are suffering in silence and dying because they're afraid to tell people. They're afraid, except when you tell someone about the abuse that you go through, it sounds so crazy that people automatically assume she's the one. That's crazy. It was the pandemic, it was COVID, that kind of blew the lid off of narcissistic abuse, because if you research it, narcissistic abuse started happening or they started talking about it back in 2017 and earlier, but it didn't become a pandemic until the pandemic became a pandemic and the abuser and the victim were in the house all the time. That's when we started talking about it, really talking about it, but there are still so many. It's still such taboo that people don't, you know, want to talk about it, like you said, because they're in that situation and your truth is causing them some pain.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:But it's critical that for the people, for the women and men that have, you know, accepted it is what it is, that these infallibilities give them the strategies to move forward. It gives, it shows them that, yes, you went through that, but you are not, that you know the names and the things that you were called while you were in that situation. That is not who God said you are. God said you are this, and it's important to believe what God says versus what man says. So these anthologies help them see that, yes, may have gone through that, that's not who I am.
Speaker 2:that's not who I am and so I'm grateful I said may 15th is when this volume is going to get launched. Um, it'll be on amazon may 15th and I'm excited for the ladies. Um, I'm excited just to, especially for the some of the first-time authors, that this, you know just the whole doing book tours, doing a circuit, you know them being on podcasts and talking about their story where they've never been able been free to talk about it before. Just the freedom that comes in that in healing people, healing their minds and their hearts while they're helping other people. So this anthology, you know volume one or two great Amazon bestsellers. I'm trusting God for this to be an Amazon bestseller as well and I'm just grateful, let's say, to these ladies and the other ladies that are on the anthology for sharing their story and wanting to help heal generations and nations. So thank you.
Speaker 1:Well, you're welcome. You know, being a part of, or able. When a person allows themselves to speak their truth and speak it in love, then someone else reading your story has that wow factor. I'm not alone, it's not just me and it gives them, in my humble opinion, encouragement to go on, you know, to strengthen them just a little bit more. We, you know, we know our help comes from the Lord. We know that. But to put some things in writing, god led you to that book, he led you to read that, so it's not wasted on anything. But I want to speak. And, ladies, if you care to share, that's fine. Ladies, if you care to share, that's fine. And I'm glad you spoke on the pandemic and the narcissism, how it escalated and because people were together more. What creates a narcissist? What creates them? What makes them think that they can just treat people any type of way, do people any type of way and it's all good. What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2:it's unhealed trauma in them, um unhealed trauma, childhood trauma, something, something happened where they're you know, some sort of abuse, um molestation, something very traumatic. Traumatic it could be death, it could be anything, but something that's very traumatic, that was unresolved.
Speaker 4:And a lot of times when children have unresolved traumas.
Speaker 2:They grow up trying to. They know that something's wrong. But they have to be normal or, you know, feel normal in a normal around other people, not understanding other people may have their own traumas too, but they learn how to manipulate as a as a young child or as a young person. They learn how to manipulate as adolescents and it's something that just snowballs for the American psychiatric association. They don't. You know, when we talk about how people are diagnosed, a lot of the things that they see in teenagers once they become adults they can distinguish whether they're personality disorders and they want adolescent behaviors. A lot of times they think that's just adolescent behaviors, because there are a lot of the people that have personality disorders whether it's narcissism, you know, sociopaths, psychopaths, whatever. They have that as adolescents but they may see that as teenagers but they call those adolescent behaviors. So it's not until they become adults that if they diagnose them or if they deal with that, that they actually see that those were not adolescent behaviors, those were personality disorders or mental disorders. But again, all of that is from childhood trauma. We all have traumas that may happen at some point in our life. For me, trauma started happening, as in my military career. So my trauma didn't, my trauma didn't formulate into a personality disorder. I have a stressor disorder which is PTSD, ptsd.
Speaker 2:So when it's younger, when it starts younger, there's a deeper disorder that develops that goes unnoticed and undiagnosed, you know, until adulthood, when either they're diagnosed with it and, as far as the US goes, they don't diagnose personality disorders or diagnose people unless they're either the person that has a personality disorder or disorder, unless they, you know, go to the go to a psychiatrist, a doctor, whatever to get diagnosed, or they're in an institution.
Speaker 2:So there's no real, there's no real way, um, that they diagnose personality disorders unless it's forced, like, say, either an institution or the person gets so sick of abusing you that they go see a doctor themselves.
Speaker 2:And I think that's kind of a that's a fail in our system as well, because, you know, I understand that people don't want to put labels on people, but there needs to be another, another way that we're getting that the people are getting diagnosed and we're seeing what these disorders are, because it's it's grown and it's growing by, you know when, when they talk about you know narcissistic disorders and other disorders, they say they're generational. So if you're, if you know one person has it. It has to be, there has to be more than one person in that family structure that has it, but they're only diagnosing that one person. So when they they talk about statistics, they talk about very skewed statistics because they didn't diagnose the children or the parents of the person they diagnosed. So, like I said, they say you know, I forgot something in the big millions. But they also say that those numbers are low because they don't diagnose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right right, you know so I. It's just it's hard to explain how it happens. Like I said, when you talk to psychiatrists, they all have different answers as to how it happens, but they know that it starts somewhere in adolescence okay, so that's good to know.
Speaker 1:Um, I just hadn't had an opportunity to kind of study that. But you know, we all know, you know it's a controlling behavior and that's my way of the highway type behavior. But, um, I it's just odd to me how you can run up on this individual and be narcissistic. You run up on somebody else, maybe you see that they're more narcissistic. You run up on somebody else, maybe you see that they're more narcissistic than you, but you skip them. So it's just kind of odd that that would happen. Well, we are about to close. I want each of you to tell us how you can be reached, what you're working on, where you can be found and we're not going to give anything away but tell us the name of your chapter again, okay, and your book. So we're going to save you for last, ms Ida. So, chelsea, you're up.
Speaker 4:Hi, thank you so much for having us. This was. It's very nice to speak on it. Right, there's growth that comes from these conversations for me, but I know that the people that you this, that your platform breaches, um. I can be reached on LinkedIn Chelsea Lail Kennedy, um, and I have a website which is H three, a LL-U-S dot online. I recently just launched on Apple and Google Play stores an app that deals with somatic breath and mindful movement and I coach people one-on-one in small groups.
Speaker 4:I go away to private retreats to help people decompress and caregiver burnout is one of my areas of focus because it really is real. Our care providers really need support. So I just thank you. For 40 years in the caregiving field. That's such a big deal. But I have a 100-day program where I work with people and we meet seven times to just meet where they're at, breathe into their body and see what shifts and give them some tools and they can continue working with me or, you know, continue on to the next part of their healing path. But really just getting people to commit to let's see what we can change in 100 days, let's see if we can shift, see what we can see. So that's kind of my signature program right now. Yeah, and my chapter is called One Capital W-A-Y Out.
Speaker 1:Okay, great, great. Thank you so much, ms Yula.
Speaker 3:Yes, ms Coleman, thank you so much for having me. I'm so proud to be on this show and to just speak to women about postpartum depression and narcissistic abuse. The title of my chapter is Out of Messy Comes Healing. I can be reached on Facebook. Em Guests I can be reached on. Always all these these social media platforms mixed up, it's quite a few, that's true. Yeah, tiktok, it's recently. I just recently got on tiktok, so tiktok, I could be reached. I can be reached on facebook and instagram and also if anyone wants to email me, they can email me at guestmanagement276 at gmailcom.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right thank you and miss ina my title is fearless, because I want the women to know that you may have been fearful, but God made you to be fearless.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I like that. Amen, there you go.
Speaker 2:I can be reached. My social media handle is WhenSheRise1, the number one, WhenSheRise1. And on all social platforms that's me, All the authors. We have our website, Risingabovenarcissisticabusecom, and you can contact all the authors on that website as well, as well as see the other anthologies and the other authors, what they're doing as well.
Speaker 1:Great Great.
Speaker 2:And thank you again for having us on this on your platform. I truly appreciate it. I pray that we gave the audience some value. You know what we talked about. Like I said, the narcissism and the postpartum depression and just the traumas that women go through, that they suppress because they're expected to. So no, ma'am, we're breaking all of that, so no ma'am, we're breaking all of that.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, all those three topics that you named and that have been discussed here tonight, they're no longer taboo, absolutely. They're no longer taboo, so that they can say, hey, I'm not, I'm not alone, or I wish I was as brave as she was to be able to put a pen to paper or just to discuss, or get, obtain a nonprofit, or obtain a podcast out of this, so that people can share their story. So, yes, this story will be shared international. Yes, the story will be shared international. So it will be shared, you know, on various platforms and you'll know when it's shared. Okay, so you'll be able to share it with the ladies. And but thank you all so much, I mean for just the education, the enlightenment and the fierceness that you have. Okay, because that's the purpose we're to. We want to learn and grow, because you know how can we help someone when we can't help ourselves?
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:So hey, each one reach one.
Speaker 2:Two or three or four.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it will go on.
Speaker 4:you know, we're not going to break the chain?
Speaker 1:We're not going to break that chain at all. So thank you so much. You all have a wonderful day and I'm looking forward to Volume three. Yes, it is.
Speaker 2:Mental health awareness month.
Speaker 1:Yay, yay, okay, all right then. So we'll be looking forward to the 15th. You know, shoot me an email, message me so I'll know to um help you with the campaign absolutely thank you, thank you. You all have a wonderful evening, okay you too, thank you.