Harsh Truth: No one Really Cares About you as Much as you Think

Harsh Truth: No one Really Cares About you as Much as you Think| Mindset Daily Podcast

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Okay. So I was having a conversation. With a client of mine the other day. And it led me to think so. This is something that we tend to be afraid of. And maybe this is something also that you may feel like you've been holed. You've been held back by in life. But it's. Th there's a paralysis that comes with being. Believing that we are in the spotlight when we aren't. There's a paralysis that comes with believing. That we are more important than we actually are. So I don't want you to take this in the wrong way, but this is something that. This is something that held me back for a while, and this is how I can really distill this down. So there's two really big mistakes that you can make in life. When it comes to. Reaching your goals. Number one that first mistake is worrying. About what other people think about you? That they are constantly analyzing or watching you under the microscope. They're watching every move you do. And every single time you do something or say something. They're ready. They're ready to judge you with an opinion. Or criticize you for every move you make. That's number one. And number two. Is the second biggest mistake is believing. That other people are actually even thinking about you in the first place. And. The reality of it is that most people. Don't really care about you as much as you think. And I don't want you to be offended by this, but I want you to actually use this as leverage. And use it as a tool for personal empowerment, which is we indirectly believe that we are under the microscope. We indirectly tend to believe sometimes in our most rational. And our most irrational forms of thinking that, we're under the microscope in the Petri dish and everything that we do, everything that we say, every action we take, every time we pivot. We are being watched. Someone is watching us. People are watching us. It's almost as if like we're a celebrity in our own head, right? Like we are being watched constantly. Everyone is going to have an opinion. Everyone is going to judge. Us for every single time we do something new or say something, or try something. It's very fascinating because it's almost as if we're living our life we're under the spotlight constantly, but this form of thinking. Is what stops more people from reaching their potential? And actually even going for their dreams to begin with, because. They believe that everybody else's life revolves around watching them. Like we mistakenly believe that we're at the center of it. We are at the center of the universe and everyone is watching us and it leads to paralysis. It leads to paralysis and. Quite frankly, one of the ways that I heard it, that I thought was really good and it's always stuck with me is that other people. Other people aren't thinking about you they're too busy, worried about what you were thinking about them. Everyone sits in that same, everyone sits in the same boat that you might be sitting in sometimes where we all tend to indirectly believe that we are the center of. Our universe and everyone is there watching us, judging us, having an opinion on everything we do. And so our actions tend to bear the weight of, millions of eyeballs, meaning. And again, I, again this isn't meant to. Offend you, but you aren't. You aren't Tom Brady or you aren't. I don't know, name any other celebrity or athlete that has millions and millions of use every single time they say something. That is not the reality, but a lot of us live life like that. Like we think we're going to be harshly judged and there's a social media effect, I think, which is when you get on social media, there's. There's an element of yes. Putting yourself out there and there are people watching you, but we believe that people, we tend to believe that people care about what we do more than we think. And. The power in understanding this is to realize that how you think to yourself, how many times in your life have you wanted to try something new? But you were afraid to do it because of what other people would think. And then in your head, you were like, you started to think what is this person going to think? What is this friend going to think? What is, Mike, the second uncle can, I think what is my. Second grade teacher gonna think, or my, or my. College calculus teacher going to think. All of a sudden, we tend to bend, play that out in our heads and we then just talk ourselves out of it. Cause we say, you know what? They would think that's weird. They would think that's. Not me. They would think that's not who I am. So we then start to go through the process of. Trying to be. Everything to everyone. Meaning we've all met people at different phases of our life. And we've probably been different people at different phases of our life. And we have this irrational. Expectation that we have to be that person that we were at that time where we met someone else. And so that may hold us back from taking action, right? And we reinvent ourselves all the time. That's what we do as human beings. We change, we grow, we evolve, we become different people. And we learn different things. We acquire new skills, we have new life experiences, and that leads us to, becoming different people than we were two years, five years, a decade ago. But we still tend to hold ourselves. To that standard of being under the spotlight every single time. We are going to make a decision on something. We, Trent, we tend to overly. Dramatic things. If that's a word. And it stops us from, it stops us from taking action, right? Another, another great, another great example of this. Is maybe you're in a job that you hate, but, and you really want to leave. Because you want to do something else, maybe because you want to start a business. But in your mind, you have all of the, all of your coworkers around you that you think are really paying attention that are going to judge you. You have all these people in your life, friends, family members, coworkers. That are going to say to you what are you doing? You're crazy. Or this is, this is stupid. How could she, or he. I think that. They could leave this job and go do something else and that's foolish. And then all of those thoughts, pop up. All of those thoughts, pop up in. Their head. And then it stops them. So they just stay exactly where they are or another really great example of this. I read this a couple of days ago. Is that when people live in big houses, They oftentimes are afraid to downsize. Because of what they feel like their friends and the people around them will think. So instead, maybe their life situation has changed or something has altered. Yet, they still feel like. I need to stay in this big house because everybody knows me as this person who's lived in this big house. So I'm afraid to downsize my house because of what the neighbors, what my best friends, what my family's going to think or what they're going to say. It stops us from sometimes making the best decisions for ourselves and our life. Believing that we are the center. Of. We are the center of everyone's universe. When in the reality is we are not, everybody is making their own decisions. They're busy making their own decisions for themselves, and they're busy making their own decisions for what's best in their life. And they're busy. Doing the things that they need to do. In order to survive for themselves. They aren't thinking about what you're doing. 24 hours a day. They aren't watching every move under the microscope that you make. Waiting to judge you waiting to have an opinion. They're just not right. And. You may be surprised to realize that, you could make some big decisions in your life and there's people and everyone on your social media has no idea. They really don't even have an opinion. Or if they do, they may think about it. For a split second and move on, right? But instead we tend to think, wow, they're going to nail us to the wall for a decision that we made, or they're going to overly criticize us. They're going to write a book about what a bad decision we made and put it out there. They don't, they're living their own life. But we get held back by that and that it manifests itself. In. So many different ways in our personal lives and our financial lives. In our business lives. If we're, for running a business, So we have to be really aware, and this is something that. This is something that was. That was difficult for me to grasp at first, because when I first started my online business, I was really afraid of what people would say or think right. How they would judge what me putting myself out there. But the reality of it, the reality of it is you realize they don't care as much as you think they do. And. Success in life, comes from learning to literally not care what other people think and to realize that they aren't even thinking about you and just to act as if there was no eyeballs on you. Which is. It's a phenomenon that when you can get over it, you realize you know what? The only one putting me under the spotlight or the only one putting me under the microscope is me. I'm the only one that's putting me. Under this microscope and I can choose to remove myself. When I choose to change my beliefs around how I feel other people are judging me and other people are watching me because they really aren't. They really aren't. And that's the, and that's the second part. Which is. Believing that other people are even thinking about you in the first place. They're not right. Again, they're busy doing their, they're busy doing themselves. They're in charge of their own lives. They're making their own decisions. Like they don't have, they don't have. 24 hours in the day to sit around and watch you. But that's what we think. Sometimes that's our irrational pattern of thinking that comes up. And stops us from actually doing what we want to do because of that fear of judgment of everyone else. So we have to take a step back and we have to really understand. That. To really understand that. Not everyone. Has an opinion about what we do. And we aren't in a place where we aren't in a place where we need to sit and worry about that. We have to focus on what we want to do, right? Your goals, your dreams, your ambitions, the things that you want to accomplish, do them fearlessly. It's one of the most difficult concepts to master, but when you can act. It freely meaning. And you can ask yourself this question. Am I acting in a way which is not influenced by the opinions or thoughts or perceived judgements of. Someone else. Or another group of people. The quicker. That we can overcome that is, is that's the fast track to doing what we're meant to do. That's the fast track to becoming. The person that we can be. And that's where we can truly realize our own talents, right. Art, because now we're able to access our goals and access the things we want to do without the fear of judgment of other people. You just have to do it. And it's one of the things that I have. One of the things that I trait that I've observed amongst some of the most. Successful entrepreneurs versus the ones who are afraid to get started. Which is they just do it. They just do it. And some of the smartest people that I know. Tend to have this problem where they overanalyze the situation to the point where they believe that everyone is watching them and they don't act because they're so smart. They. There they feel like they can almost see the flaw in everything they're doing. Right versus. I also have some extraordinarily. Successful friends and business. And look, I look, it's funny. Like one time we were in a room, we were actually in a, we were actually at a. This was a business mastermind in Hawaii. And there was like a group of us in the room. And we literally, there was a group of us who have all done, multimillion dollars of sales and business. And we couldn't even figure out how to use the wifi. We couldn't, no one could figure out how to connect to the wifi. And. And my point in this is that sometimes. Sometimes you don't have to be the sharpest person in the room or the smartest person in the room. You just have to have your mind in the right place and where I was going with this whole thing. Is that some of the most successful people I know in business. Are not necessarily the smartest at all, but one thing that they are the best in is they literally don't care. What other people think about them and the thought that paralyzes. A majority of people, which is what are other people thinking about what I'm doing, how are they going to respond? How are they going to act? What are they going to say to me? Doesn't affect them in the slightest. They just do it. And to me, that's one of my biggest. That's one of my, that was one of my biggest lessons and there's a learning curve, which is I have to check myself. And this is a really good episode for me to do as a constant reminder to myself, to check in with myself and not. Again, let me ask, is there something I would be doing different? This is the question that I routinely ask myself and it tends to lead to really great results. Is there something I would be doing different right now, if I didn't believe people were watching me or judging me or had an opinion. When I go about it in a different way. And if you ask yourself that question, you'll quickly start to realize that the actions that you should take. Are actually right in front of you, the answer already. You're just being held back by the perceived opinions and judgments of other people. That's all it is. So it's something that sounds so simple in theory, but if you chew on it a little bit, you'll realize, wow, I am being held back by. Other people in my life. And realize that the more you do that, the more you're capping your potential and the more you're limiting your ability to go for what you truly want, simply because you are worried. Or you're afraid of what other people are going to think, what they're going to say, how they're going to respond, their opinion or how they might judge you for what you do. When the reality of it is they aren't even paying attention to what you're doing. Instead, you believe you are right in the spotlight when you are. If you can change that. That actually gives you a lot of answers in your life of what you should be doing or what you could be doing, which is, Hey, you know what? Nobody's putting me under the spotlight. Nobody's putting the under the microscope, except for me. So if I changed the way I think around that, and I change. What I believe about how other people see me, my actions can change really quickly and I'm no longer hampered by the fear of other people's judgments. So that's all I've got for you on today's show. If you've learned something from this, tag me in a story on Instagram and let me know what you learned or how you're going to apply it. My social media is all in the show notes. And as always, if you are enjoying the show, the best way that you can support it. Is to a, take some time to share it with someone who you think could genuinely benefit from it. And to take some time to leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts, both of those things. I would greatly appreciate and that's how you can show your support for the show all right so that's all i've got for you on Today's show have a good rest of your day and i'll talk to you soon