Don't Take Things Personally

Don't Take Things Personally  | Mindset Daily Podcast

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Transcript

0:08

So we all have these kinds of people in our lives. There's some where we can say anything to, and there's some where. We feel like we're walking on eggshells. When we talk to them, which is, the kind of conversation. Which is you can't have a real one because there's always this voice in the back of your head, which is like they are going to be offended or they are going to take it personally, or they're going to react badly when all I'm really trying to do is tell them the truth and help them. Now. The reality of the situation is. That. That's a them problem and not a you problem. But this is one of those things to really pay attention to, and to really keep in, check for yourself. Because. If we aren't careful we can slip down that same route and that can actually hold us back in life and it can hold us back in some situations where we don't realize, or we can't see. That someone or something, or with their words is trying to help us. Now there's a big difference and it's important to understand. For yourself, there's a difference between, criticism, that's malicious and criticism that is genuinely trying to be helpful for you when someone's giving you criticism, that's helpful versus someone that's giving you criticism. That's trying to tear you down. Now. Obviously, if somebody is giving you criticism, that's just simply trying to tear you down. Or, distract you or stop you from your Coles. You don't have to listen to that, block that out, just completely blocked that out. It's not worth listening to, it's not worth paying attention to. But if somebody is giving you. Criticism. Like general helpful criticism, which you're trying to help you improve and help you be better. That's where you need to do your best to be able to listen to it and accommodate it and actually absorb it so that you can improve. This is one of the areas in life where. You can miss out on a lot of growing opportunities and just opportunities in general to be better. Which is being able to distinguish between malicious criticism and actual constructive criticism. And being aware enough in the moment to understand which is which so that, that way you can. Learn from it. You can grow from it and you can genuinely improve and whatever you need to do. And that can be, that can take itself in all sorts of different forms. I want to tell you. I want to give you like an example of this, I'll tell you story, years back maybe five, six years ago. I had a mentor. For my business and. He was going through and he was looking at my marketing. And different things that I was putting out there. And. One of the first things he said to me was you've got to be more aggressive with your marketing. You have, what's called people pleasing marketing, which is, you're trying to put emails out there. You're trying to send. Emails, broadcast, emails, content that you're putting out there is. Genuinely like. Quote, trying to be liked content, which is I'll put something out there. In an attempt to be liked, but instead. You need to be creating content and you need to be sending emails like in my, my email fall in my auto responder sequence, you need to be sending things that are more provocative and, generally more aggressive. If you want to make more sales, if you want to increase your revenue now. When, when I first heard that. There's two ways you can take it right. And. And obviously if I'm hiring a mentor, I'm going to listen to what they say. Because, it's right. That's why I'm paying them. And that's why I want that kind of advice, but I took that as great. Here's an opportunity to grow. Here's an opportunity to learn. Here's an opportunity to evolve. Let's make the changes, let's make the changes and let's reap the benefits. From making those changes, not, let's not just double down. On why I think I'm right or what I think I'm doing. Is already correct. Let me have an open mind. Let me take things with an open mind and let me see how I can iterate it and sure enough. Improve my business. And. I always look for things like that. I always look for opportunities where when someone is trying to give. Real. Constructive criticism in a way to be in a way to be better. Listening to it and saying, all right, if I can just make myself 1% or 2% better. Then from what they're saying, then it's a win, right? I'm not going to double down on my own philosophy or what I think I'm right. Why I think I'm right at the expense of. Trying to accomplish my goals or trying to reach whatever it is I want to do. I'm looking for help and wherever I can find it. That's a, it's a really powerful thing in life to be able to do that. It's a really powerful thing now. I should also preface this by saying. That. Even when it comes to constructive criticism. When people are trying to be helpful. It still matters, who is giving it to you? It still matters. Who is. Giving you the constructive criticism, right? Because. The other trap that we can easily fall into. Is. Becoming like too much of a sponge, which is, let me just listen to everybody and everything. Let me hear. What, let me just hear what everyone has to say, which also holds us back and. And if you aren't careful, you'll find yourself taking advice, taking constructive criticism from all sorts of people who have never actually have done what you want to do. And I think that's a distinction. That has to be made and it's something that's really powerful. In that. Even if you are open. To constructive criticism. What's important is to make sure that you aren't just taking it from everybody. If you have a specific goal, Of. Losing weight. You don't want to take advice from a fat person. Or if you are starting a business and you're trying to generate revenue. It's probably not a good idea to ask for advice from a friend or a family member or somebody who hasn't done. What you already want to do? But when you are in the presence of someone who has done what you want to do, And they've already done it. Being able to take constructive criticism from them is one of the quickest ways that you can improve. It's one of the quickest ways that you can reach your goals, get to where you want to. Get to where you want to be. But having that knowledge and again, this is another one of these topics that is, it seems like simple theory. It's yeah, obviously I'm going to listen to people when they. If they give me something that is. Good information or, yeah, obviously I'm going to take constructive criticism when it's handed to me. But it's one thing to think that it's another thing when that actually comes up. Do you take it that way? Be aware in the moment when you are. Getting some kind of advice or you are getting some kind of criticism pay attention to your reaction, right? Because. If you weren't careful it could it's it could just be a defensive reaction and it shuts you down and it stops you from actually listening, from actually listening to what they're saying and helping. That's one of those things where. That's one of those things where Being aware of yourself, having that awareness for yourself can really help you with these kinds of things. Now. I like to bring up these kinds of topics because. When you don't realize this, but when you find yourself in one of those moments, being aware enough to take in the information. Is a skillset in and of itself. And so it's realizing. It's realizing that. It isn't just a, okay, let me accept the advice when it comes. It's I, that it's you need to tell yourself, I ha I must be aware enough. To hear the good advice and actually listen when it's in front of me, because a lot of it is given to us, but we aren't in a position to actually listen. And we're not in a position to actually absorb the advice because we're approaching things from a more defensive posture or we're doubling down, or we're being stubborn on the why we think we are ranked. That's important. And then, when you do. When you do take, when you do get criticism from people who haven't done, what you want to do. Or from people. That. R. Trying to be helpful or they just have a loud opinion, right? Those people with loud opinions who want to give you. Advice. Or they may even criticize what you're doing intentionally. Same thing, same rule applies. Be aware of the situation that you're in. And don't take it personal, right? Just. Just brush it off. There's no need to be overly reactive to it. There's no need to be. Overly defensive about it. It's just listening here and that's the, that's the nature of the game. And you start to learn that and. And I've always found to be. I've always found business to be one of the greatest tools for, like personal development, because of all the lessons that you go through. And like I have an email list for the Austin academy. That's nearly, there's nearly a hundred thousand people on my email list. So whenever I send out an email or whenever I. Put out any kind of announcement or anything. I'm always, people will always reply with opinions. When you send out an email to, nearly a hundred thousand people, you're always going to get opinions from people. You're going to get people who criticize what you're say. You are never going to get people who agree. With everything that you say, and that's fine. Now. If I took the advice. The quote, unquote advice, or if I took everything that everyone said, personally, I wouldn't have a business because everybody has their own opinion. The product should be cheaper. You shouldn't email like this. You should send like this, your tone should be like this. This is the way you should write. These emails are too long. That's not the content that I want to see. Everybody's going to have their own. Opinion. So you have to be able to filter out. Again, what's important and what's not. And when someone is giving you genuinely good advice, you have to be aware enough that they are trying to give you really good advice. And they're a person that you can accept it from so that you should listen, right? To be open to listen. And understanding that there are certain times when you listen. And certain times when you don't listen. And. That really comes down to who is the person that you're talking to have they done what you want to do? Number one, but number two, if they are one of those people, Be sure that you're aware enough to accept what they say versus approaching it with the defensive posture. And then the rest of the stuff, the other opinions, everything else that's out there. Is completely just noise, from the people that haven't done it. The people that are trying to be helpful with helpful opinions, the people that are giving you genuine. Criticism or even, the destructive criticism. But don't have the experience that you have. You also have to be aware enough to block that out too. It's a game. It's a skill set that you really have to develop of filtering information. I learned this and I found it to be extremely important, which is. The skill in and of itself is learning what information and what criticism to accept and what to reject. Because most of us don't have that skill. We just either accept everything or we just reject everything and that's where we can fall into. Our own. Plaque toes is that we're wired to either accept everybody's. Opinions, we're wired to accept what everybody says, everybody's criticism, or we are wired to reject all of it. But the skill is being able to accept what is valid and what isn't. There's a really good quote on this too, by Henry Ford. He said, if I asked the people what they wanted. They would say faster horses. And I always liked that quote, it sticks with me because of that, Which is again, be selective about who you're listening to and who you're taking advice from. Because if you are. To accepting of everything. You're just going to get the wrong information. And had Henry Ford listened to the people. He all the peoples would have said. We just want the horses, cars. We don't need those things. We just want the horses. So it's important to think about that. All right. So that's all I've got for you on today's show. If you learned something from this, if this was beneficial, please do take some time to tag me in a story on Instagram and let me know what you learned and how you're going to apply it. I like interacting with you guys. In that capacity in lending. And I like to hear how you guys are using this and how you interpret that as well. And if you're enjoying the show, there's two things you can do. You can share it with somebody who you think would benefit from it, and you can take some time to leave a review. All right. So that's all I've got for you on today's show. Have a good rest of your day. And I will talk to you soon.