When Love Turns Into Paperwork for a Partnership Visa- with Ellie Jerram (UK)

Hi everyone,

Please welcome with me Ellie Jerram from the UK. Ellie is a great travel lover and has been living abroad a few times as an au pair in Spain and Australia. She is now living in New Zealand and is telling us her story.

In this episode, I sit down with Ellie, to unpack the journey that took her across the world — and the emotional layers behind it.

Ellie shares how her parents’ separation and the feeling of being split between different households left her with a quiet but persistent sense of not fully belonging anywhere. While her mum, dad, and sister all moved forward in their own directions, she felt stuck — carrying anger she didn’t quite know how to process. So at 19, she did what she thought is best: she moved abroad.

With little money but a deep love for children and a desire to see the world, she became an au pair in a small town in Spain. What started as an escape quickly turned into expansion — new friendships, independence, and the realization that the world was far bigger than she had imagined. Spain was just the beginning. Soon after, she packed her bags again for Melbourne, Australia.

There, she fell in love — and with love came visa complications. Facing the limitations of a working holiday visa, she and her partner made the decision to move to New Zealand to buy more time. What followed was a raw and eye-opening experience navigating the partnership visa process: proving the legitimacy of their relationship through shared bank accounts, photos, messages, letters of support, and deeply personal documentation. Ellie reflects on how invasive and emotionally taxing it felt — and how a partnership visa inherently ties your independence to the stability of your relationship.

Though she was granted both a partnership work visa and eventually residency, the underlying pressure of being dependent on a partner for legal status quietly shaped their dynamic. Looking back now at 30, she says she would never again rely on a relationship for the right to stay in a country.

When the relationship eventually ended, it was devastating. Moving abroad had meant her partner became her entire support system — losing him felt like losing everything at once. With no family and limited support nearby, she had to rebuild from scratch. It was one of the hardest chapters of her life — but also the most empowering.

Today, Ellie speaks with strength and clarity. She’s proud of the woman who navigated heartbreak, immigration systems, and identity shifts in a foreign country. She believes nothing can truly shake her now, because she knows she can survive the pain and come out stronger on the other side.

Now settled in New Zealand, she loves the life she has created independently. Yet she candidly shares the ongoing paradox of living abroad — missing home and family, feeling guilt for not being there, while also knowing she’s exactly where she’s meant to be.

This is a conversation about belonging, independence, love, resilience, and the courage to build a life far from where you started.

Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate every single one of you!

Love,
Hanna  🌏❤️ 

 🌍 Enjoyed this conversation?
Don’t forget to follow the podcast, share it with a fellow adventurer, and leave a review — it helps others discover these inspiring stories from around the world. 

 ✨ Stay connected:
 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hanna_worldwide_and_friends/

 website: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2110137

 or on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Podcast Index, iHeartRadio,   Podchaser, Deezer and PlayerFM