Positioned with Kimberly Knight
Our host, Kimberly Knight, is a certified coach, business consultant, educator, author, and speaker who has dedicated her life to helping women achieve their goals. Each week, Kimberly will dive into the issues that women face on their journey toward success. From relationships to parenting, work-life balance to entrepreneurship, financial security to personal growth, we cover it all.
In addition to exploring these important topics, we also share inspiring stories from other women who have overcome similar challenges to show you what’s possible. Plus, we’ll bring experts who can provide valuable insights and practical advice to help you take action and make things happen.
So, if you’re looking for a whole lot of wisdom wrapped in a little bit of girlfriend, tune in each week to the Positioned podcast. Kimberly is here to help you achieve the success you deserve!
Positioned with Kimberly Knight
43: Catching Up with the Newlyweds: Naomi and Maurice
What happens when you combine the thrill of skydiving with the journey of newlywed life? Join us as Naomi and Maurice recount their first eight months of marriage, from the exhilarating engagement that involved Naomi leaping out of a plane to navigating the joys and challenges of their new life together. You'll hear about their transition from living with their parents to ruling their own castle, and how they manage to balance adventure with adult responsibilities.
Check out their original hysterical episodes:
Episode 15: Positioned for Love Success Story: Naomi and Maurice
Episode 14: Positioned for Love Success Story: Naomi
One of the key takeaways from our chat with Naomi and Maurice is the importance of prioritizing the relationship over the need to be right. From personal stories about heated arguments to the benefits of marriage preparation programs like Positioned for Love, we explore how they’ve learned to compromise and work as a team. Reflecting on their adventures from dating to marriage, they offer humorous and heartfelt stories that underscore the significance of stepping out of comfort zones and embracing new experiences—together.
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I love God. All right, all right, welcome to the position podcast. I am Kimberly Knight and I am here to catch up with the newlyweds, naomi and Maurice. Oh shucks, now how y'all doing. We're doing great.
Speaker 2:We're doing awesome Woo.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'll take the woo woo. Eight months now, yeah, eight months, yeah. So you gotta catch us up. Tell us how this first eight months has been. It hasn't even been a year, so y'all, it's still some brand spanking new. How has this first eight months been?
Speaker 3:ladies first yeah it has been, I would say, an adjustment, because we I mean we did it old school from the beginning, so you know I was still living with my parents. He asked for my hand, so moving out. Yes, yes, girl so moving out and now having your own place, your own space, it's like I don't know, we're king and queen of the castle and it's just like it's awesome, we're never going back. I hope not, no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:We can listen, we can be free in our house without restrictions and I thank God for that. Hey glory.
Speaker 1:Hey glory. So this is where I say and those who listen to me regularly know that sometimes I say this Today may be a headphone day. So, just in case you have children you don't want to give a new education to, this may be a headphone day Cause you know, all right, if you know, you know, and if you don't, well, headphones anyway, all right y'all. So y'all enjoying your, your married freedom and each other, and you're still smiling and joking. We had a really good time before we started taping. So I know y'all are still having a good time and I still say you had my baby jumping out of a plane and I'm still not OK with that. If y'all haven't heard the matter of fact, not even the first interview, it ended up being two interviews because it was just so outrageous that we had to do two interviews when they got engaged. So go back and listen to those. I will leave a link in the show notes. But he had this baby jumping out of a plane.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:When they got engaged.
Speaker 2:That's right. Listen, sometimes you got to take a leap of faith.
Speaker 1:Boy bye. She was all for it too.
Speaker 2:She's like hey, in the future. You know what I'm saying. And because she took a leap of faith, this is what we the reward she has, the fruit, the fruit of the Of her labor, the labor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go, the fruit of her labor. Oh my gosh. Well, I am hoping that well. First of all, I'm glad you landed without incident, because that would have been something.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because, maurice, we would have come for you. There's a whole bunch of aunties going mm-hmm, Made our baby jump out of a plane, girl. This that goes back to you. Remember when we were kids and your mom would say if everybody was jumping off the bridge, would you jump?
Speaker 3:well, apparently you would I've been only after the right man not any of the shenanigans.
Speaker 2:Like I said I wanted you know someone really like, uh, um, a extremeness like myself and adventurous and spontaneous, and I didn't want no one boring and so she passed the ultimate test and so because of that, you know I was the, you know she met my wife and so it's a beautiful thing because I skateboard and you know it's fun. Oh, I didn't know you skateboard. Yeah, yeah, I actually taught her a little bit. She rolled a little bit on the skateboard, a little.
Speaker 3:He's the expert. We'll leave him the expert. Yeah, she was actually my filmer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, that's my role too. When y'all are jumping out of stuff, I'm on the ground, I ground. I'm on the ground making sure the EMTs know where we are and that there's video and all that kind of stuff, I'm not jumping out enough.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I'm one and done.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was it. That was it for you.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, the roller coasters. No, that was it. I'm one and done. What did she say?
Speaker 2:She wasn't going to do bungee jumping.
Speaker 1:She wasn't going to do bungee jumping. She wasn't going to do bungee jumping. Oh, we're not bungee jumping. We want y'all to get to that first anniversary. Y'all started off really, really exciting and that was really different, right? So what other surprises has marriage brought? Because I know for me there was like that first year was like, oh, we didn't think about that. Or oh, wow, I didn't know. You know, we, we need to check in on it with each other about that. So what kind of surprises came up for y'all?
Speaker 3:well, um, he has. So it's definitely been an adventure with him from the beginning, I think, learning to do adult stuff, because we did a lot of the fun stuff, dating sitting down and like wait a minute, knowing when to say yes and no, because now you're a unit, right. So you got both sides OK, you want to go to this, want to go to this. You got friends and everyone's excited but we're like, ok, but we also have to realize what's realistic for us what do we say yes?
Speaker 3:to what do we say no? Not just to not just exhaust ourselves, but also budget-wise, yeah, realistic wise. Because I'd be the type in the beginning I was like, yeah, yeah, let's do that. Yeah, yeah, well, let's try to book um events with both parties. We'll do like half a day over there. He goes don't double book us. He goes that's too much for us. And I'm like, oh yeah, wait, it's like my mind gets excited. But then he helps me, like ground me, like baby, you're gonna be tired.
Speaker 2:So let's just do some balance yeah yeah, this is all about you know um wisdom. You know not just the head and the heart and just kind of like wisdom and the finances, wisdom have a wisdom and and and just and everything like time management you know, because you get money back, you can't get time back and um.
Speaker 2:And so I learned for myself that that you know, um, I can't, just because when I was single and everything and I was, you know, even engaged because we weren't living together, obviously, when engaged, you know, I, I can just get in the car and leave and go to the gym or go to just go to a skate park, whatever. But I now, I, I actually have to tell her where I'm going and like if, because it was, you know, even like, even if I do go, if she don't mind if I go, I just gotta just let her know, hey, I'm going, and like if, because you know, even like, even if I do go, if she don't mind if I go, I just gotta just let her know. Hey, babe, I'm going, xyz, I'll come right back, or because she won't spend that intimate time with me or she want to, you know, do things around the neighborhood, take a walk, or I can't just just go in my car and dip, you know, yeah, yeah, I learned that myself.
Speaker 1:Uh, oh, you know yeah, so I learned that myself.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, you know, yeah, so I had to swerve that right back around, bring that car back into the garage, right?
Speaker 1:So, yeah, that is a big adjustment, because now having to say to that other person and take that other person into consideration, it's not about permission, it's more about consideration. Yeah Right, and then how do we spend our time? I think you know it's funny because with most newlyweds I'm hearing the same thing the, the need to figure out how we're going to spend our time, what we're going to do, what we're not going to do, and how do you spend time with family and friends? Cause you know you still, you want to be part of your community, but you're also building your own home, right. So there's that like that balance. But I'm hearing y'all have been also weathering. Oh. The other thing I really wanted to say, too, is I'm glad I always share this and I'm glad that you're being wise with your money, because money troubles break up more couples than infidelity, oh yeah. So being wise with your money is so key, so okay. So I'm glad to hear that any challenges that you've had that kind of were like oh, what you want to answer this one.
Speaker 3:I don't know if there's a job, I guess okay.
Speaker 2:Well, so with her, um, I know that she graduated with a master's degree and she graduated with, you know, my master's degree and she was really good in, like her english and uh and a lot of subject, and we're some good certain things too. So with me I learned that you know, if when I communicate I got effective communicating, not just community, effectively communicate, like, actually, like have like the whole, like how can I simplify everything?
Speaker 2:yeah, simplify everything down and just kind of like address those things that she's like you know, a, b, z, a, b a b, c, r to z, um, just kind of like be detailed with it, because if I don't, if you don't effectively communicate, it still can come off kind of a little confusion a little bit, because you're missing the meat of it. That makes sense.
Speaker 1:It does make sense. And one of the things that we talk about in the program right is that women and men communicate differently. So by the time he has been to work, he has said his few thousands of words for the day, and now he's come home to this wife and she still has about 50,000 left and she wants to give them all to you tonight, cause tomorrow I have another 80,000. You tonight, because tomorrow I have another 80,000. So I'm going to give you all that I have today. And then we're like well, answer me. And you, you can't even process that many words, right? You're like okay, I don't know what to say, right, I know that it's really funny because if I, when I watch couples, especially, you know, younger couples, when the, when the women see each other, like and they're having big conversation, and the guy's like yeah, like it's a little flat for me, like what's are you, you, you guys, good, they're still friends, yeah like why we we?
Speaker 1:talk right. So I'm hearing you say that learning to really communicate in a way that she can receive it was a challenge, right, and it's something that you had to be actively committed to getting down pat. But on the flip side of that, Naomi, too, being patient and giving him grace, I'm is something that you had to learn too. Tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no, definitely. That's one thing he reminds me of, because I would say, wait a minute, like I would explain myself, or I thought I would explain myself but he's like but.
Speaker 3:And then I'm realizing where you're starting at one end of the staircase and I'm over here, like I'm at the top and he's at the bottom. So we think we're understanding what each other's saying, but we gotta really say, okay, wait, let's take a second, do you get what I'm saying? He's like wait, no, I'm like all right. So then tell me what you think I'm saying. So for me it's I'm getting. I guess I'm used to being gotten so quick, like from my family, because they know my grooves.
Speaker 3:But it's different it's not just new york it's not just new york, it's um. Now you're doing life with me like I was used to like in my house. I was the one that like made decisions and like did things. So now it's like I got someone as a co-equal doing things with me and so really being patient.
Speaker 2:We have this thing not because you're all 11, baby. We have this thing on the statue. It says together we can make it. We learned that you know, nothing works if one person is one person is not. We pray together, we eat together, we do things together. And you find out that, you know, when you do things together God moves the quickest because it's you, you know, and so and so, um, when, when, when, when, it was, uh, when we two making things go right, three, uh, it, uh, it kicked out of sight. You know saying so. And then we learn also not to go to bed angry. We learn also that not to talk about money before bed and not to talk about money before church, not to talk about money.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was before church and at nighttime because it's just not good timings, when it's daylight outside. We'll talk about it.
Speaker 1:That's wisdom. That's wisdom, right. So you know, one of the things that my husband and I do is we do have a cutoff time for heavy topics, right, and then we also have a weekly check-in. So we check in, we have a time to check in. So if it's not something that needs to be decided before the weekly check then it's more like you know, try to cut it off by like five or six o'clock so we have time to come down, your emotions have time to to come back into order and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:You can be sure you're clear. And also, before you get too tired, right, cause you're tired, you start a science stall. You know where you might, where you might, where you might be able to say it one way, you know when you're rested and you're fresh, and then you know you get tired and you just want to be fresh, right. So, um, yeah, I learned that one the hard way, because when we were first married man, I gave this man I mean fever. I remember. I don't even remember what the argument was about, but this is no lie. We had an argument that was so fierce it raised my blood pressure to like 200 and change over a hundred and change Like.
Speaker 3:I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't ever remember being that boisterous and angry with somebody. And my husband was like lay down on your left side, get in the bed. He goes, I'm not going to leave or anything, because if your blood pressure doesn't come down in an hour you've got to go to the hospital. I mean it was that bad. And I was like he's like stop, and our bedroom has a balcony, so he's out on the deck. He went out on the deck, so it's right. It was on my side of the doors, on my side of the bed, so he was just sitting there listening to music, trying to calm himself down and I am seething. So now I'm seething and I'm like God, and God says you about to kill yourself, trying to be right.
Speaker 1:And the Holy Spirit said something to me that was so powerful that we haven't had Lord, god, protect this testimony an argument like that since. So we don't argue, we just don't argue. We have mechanisms in place that resolve any, you know, misunderstandings or difficulties that we have. So but that first year, woo hallelujah. And in the bed I'm trying to wait for this blood pressure to come down. Instead of praying for my health, I'm praying God, I'm right and he's wrong and I don't even remember what the topic was about, and when I asked him he was like I don't remember either, but it was fierce. I just remember how it played out. Holy Spirit said there's a scripture that says it is better to dwell on the corner of a rooftop than to live in a wide house with a brawling woman. He said your husband is out there on the deck because he refuses to leave, because he knows that you might need his help, but you have sent him to the corner of the rooftop with your behavior.
Speaker 2:Snatched my proverbial pearls.
Speaker 1:Well, let me tell you something. You don't have to tell me that, but one time, but one time, and I called my spiritual mom, and you know I was telling her what was going on and she's like do you want to be married? And I was like, of course, she said well then, you're going to have to dial it back and you're going to have to give up your right to be right. And this is something the Holy Spirit had told me Give up your right to be right. You don't need to be right. That's so funny. Oh, there it is.
Speaker 2:That's so funny because I was about to say that a wife said to us when we was arguing there's times of petty things. You know and I'm actually you know marriage, sometimes you argue about things, you know, he said, he said, he said simple sentence, he said you want to be right or married, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it, that's it. He said you, can you give up your right to be right? And then she told me. She said the two of you have very strong personalities. You're both. You've had decades of management experience, you've been in charge of your households, you've been single a long time. She said if you don't make the conscious decision that being married and being in good fellowship with your husband is more important than you being right, she says y'all are not going to make it this whole year. You're not going to make it a year. You're not going to make it a year. And I had to take that to the Lord because people I don't know and I think I've said it on this show I was a paralegal for 12 years. I know how to argue, baby. Oh, I know how to argue. Bull, we can go there if you want, okay you feeling froggy leave.
Speaker 1:I got something for you right and my husband has a very strong personality, so he wasn't backing down. I'm not backing down, I got skills. So I had to make that decision and I have to tell you, even when I'm right and I don't want to give up my position no pun intended, since this is the name of the podcast but and I don't want to, you know, give up my right. I take it to God. Father, you know what. You have your way. If he needs to be corrected, you correct him. I need to go on and do what I got to do. I keep my side of the street clean. That's on you and I can tell you that is a much better place to be. So, for all y'all listening out there, we hope that y'all take something away from that. Don't send your husband out to the rooftop.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, Don't do that, that that was me.
Speaker 1:I own my stuff. I own my stuff because hopefully that's a learning point for somebody, because that it's just stuck on.
Speaker 3:Silly, I gotta tell you yeah, but I was right wow, it took me a while to learn in the beginning too, because I would pick different times of the night to pick up certain topics and he's like it's late, let's go to sleep. And I'm like, no, but I want to talk about this now and it it would exhaust me and then it would just. And then he you know he's he's more graced with that than me, because he's like I'm not going to talk about this right now. He's like I think that we should just both lie down and say goodbye tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I used to stay quiet.
Speaker 3:I had to learn, like the first few months, and I was just like. It wasn't until more a couple months and we the the grooving kind of started. Like you know it, it was easier to do certain things together yeah but it was just my, my Latin side, my independent side. God had to humble me, you know. Just remind me, girl, you want to be right or you want to be married.
Speaker 1:You get to make that choice, right. Yeah, the bad part for me was that wasn't the first time Holy Spirit said that to me. That wasn't the first time he said that to me when we were engaged, and what would happen when we first got married and we would get into these Like we only argued when we were protecting our own territory, when it wasn't about the relationship but it was more about us as individuals and we were trying to keep that, rather than marriage, more important. And we were on the Belt Parkway and it was 1130 at night on a weeknight Now, you know, usually it's empty, right, we were at a stalemate and we had been bickering back and forth for a while and the traffic stopped and we sat in that traffic for like an hour and a half, maybe two hours, and said nothing, and I heard the holy. I heard the holy spirit about 10 minutes in when he said, yeah, you right, but you want to be married, okay, well, you won't have to shut that down then. Huh and um, I just sat there an hour and a half, almost two hours, and when I literally said, I said I said his name, I said james, and I said what I said about, and I know what this argument was about and I said what I said and you know, made it about the relationship and not me being right.
Speaker 1:The traffic opened like that. When I tell you it was, it was like Holy Spirit said you could have been home. You could have been home because literally we were sitting there at a stall out like just sitting there waiting. People were standing outside of their cars, the traffic was not moving at all. As soon as I gave Holy Spirit His way which at the time I was seeing it as giving James His way, right Soon, as Holy Spirit was in control, traffic opened right up. And when I tell you, we got home in no time and I said look, what else would happen? And this would happen to us all the time If we had an argument in the car, we would get stuck in traffic because we used to travel back home from work every day together before COVID, so we would always get stuck in traffic. So if the traffic got heavy, he would turn to me and go you holding anything in that you want, hey, so we can get this traffic moving and then we would crack up.
Speaker 1:So that's like our standing joke. I don't know about you, but I love those insiders, when you have those little inside jokes with each other and so keywords Sign inside jokes with each other, and so keywords oh, oh, oh, oh, give us the tea. Oh, she's blushing. Oh, my headphones, y'all headphones oh, oh, yeah we you don't have to tell us.
Speaker 3:We saw a pickup line in the movie. We saw a pickup line and well, we saw a pickup line in a movie.
Speaker 2:We saw a pickup line. We saw like a line in a movie. I wouldn't say it.
Speaker 3:We saw a pickup line and the guy's thinking I got you. So every time we like help each other with something we'll be like I got you.
Speaker 2:And then there was another one From a Marvel, thor. He said to Star-Lord. And then Star-Lord, they was like die and see who's going to be the captain of the ship. And then he was stating his side, star-lord was stating his side to Thor. He was like you know I'm a captain, right, you know I'm a captain right of this ship door. He was like he said you know I'm a captain, you know I'm a captain right of this ship, right.
Speaker 1:He's like, Does she, of course?
Speaker 2:you, yeah, of course. So he kept saying of course, and so like we kind of like you know, like adopted that in our family. And then, like when she said certain things, I said of course.
Speaker 3:Of course, so you're just having a whole lot of fun over there what do I say? I'll say, can you straighten out my rug? And he's like it's my rug too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, do it to like get on his nerve.
Speaker 3:But it's funny, I'm like you know.
Speaker 2:like you know, putting my car is my car too, just like trying to keep it, like y'all having in this Y'all are having a lot of fun over there.
Speaker 1:So it sounds like it's been eight months of adjustments, eight months of fun, eight months of new stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we went on a trip.
Speaker 1:We continued the adventure, but you're on the ground, right, we're staying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, a lot of clouds.
Speaker 1:Okay we got that part, so we did a little bit of traveling too. Wait a minute now, y'all, because I was about to ask y'all something else, but y'all been. I know that you went to, um, some family functions abroad and stuff like that yeah how do you travel? Was that different, traveling as a couple than it was traveling as singles?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, it was thank god. Yeah, because thank god you have, I'm just gonna be real, I'm just gonna be really real. You have to be married going to those countries, because it's a lot of temptations there and I thank God we're saved and I thank God that we, you know that we won and you know just a lot of crazy stuff. It's a party country and they'd be like we try to go to sleep, like you know we go to sleep a certain time. They'd be partying until 4 o'clock in the morning, 5 o'clock.
Speaker 3:We went to Colombia. Cartagena, colombia, we were right behind us. It was like a party club. Until 4 in the morning you were hearing the basses moving. It felt like the Spanish version of New York. I'm like oh another country who doesn't sleep.
Speaker 2:It was right next to us too. Our Airbnb is like the oceans right there. It's like a beach club right there. I usually wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning and pray and stuff. Now I hear it.
Speaker 1:I'm being tested, lord. Yeah. Well, even in that y'all you know you're building those memories that you know your 50th and your 60th anniversary you're going to be talking about with your family and reminiscing about. So even in that there's good stuff, right, I'm loving it. You know one of the things that when I know, naomi, when you were in the program, we always talk about stuff like would you tell your husband that you had participated in this program? And obviously you did right. And I wanted to know from Maurice what are your thoughts now that you've, now that you're married? You know we went through the courting and the engagement and you're married now, what are your thoughts about a wife who participated in the program, the program, this program, yeah and my. So you know we had at that time it was called Wife Life Academy and now it's called Position for Love.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:It's a similar program to what Naomi and her friends experienced. So what are your thoughts about that? Just curious from a man's perspective um.
Speaker 3:So the program like remember I would tell you that we would spend like weekly meetings with her.
Speaker 2:She would oh oh, yeah, yeah, so so it's wait.
Speaker 3:Preparation for marriage gotcha.
Speaker 2:It very beneficial. It's very beneficial to women out there, because there's a saying that proper preparation prevents poor performances. That's just giving you to copy the glory. So you have to prepare to walk into your future, amen. So so god has sent you to help, you know, you know, prepare the way you know, and and get her mindset right and just like and. And it wasn't. If it wasn't for you, god, you've, you've been used by God, all God be to glory, then she probably wouldn't have, you know, been sitting here right now. I probably still would have found her somewhere, you know, because we meant to be together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but it's just, it's good to she got a head start to knowing that what she's going to walk into which is very beneficial for women and males If they have a male person out there that does or you do males too it's just more like you know it's, it's, it's it's. It's a beautiful thing because it's you know, it's just it makes things connect better.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it opens you up, you know, if you are always closed off. That's that was my problem for years, like I was just always I got it, I got it, I'm fine. For years my face would scare men off because I was just like I don't need nobody. I was approached once by a guy who was like oh, can I have your number? I was like I don't need no man, I'm not looking for a man.
Speaker 1:This was in my 20s and this, and this is why we don't have them right yes, if you have no need for him I think, I think I said what happened.
Speaker 2:If I was that guy, what do you mean? I have not taken her program, yet I'll be like god, just give me business, you remember we didn't talk about that in the program.
Speaker 1:God, yes, my wife, yeah and I tell you I was single um that the year before I met my husband like a few months before I met my husband, I think, I had four or five men tell me the same thing. I was like you were lying, wonder, god did not tell you that. And, and I stopped saying that, I said I can't tell you what god did or did not say to you. I can tell you I didn't get the memo. So since you, you think you heard God tell him to send me a memo. Let's cut this out, cause you, you, you can tell a lie and be responsible for it. So stop it. But you know this man, he, he, when he said it, well, no, I called him a Pentecostal pimp, cause he did say that yeah, you're supposed to be my wife, I'm going to marry you. That's what he said.
Speaker 3:He said I'm going to marry you and I was like this Pentecostal pimp.
Speaker 1:Cause this was the first week we met. So I was like lie and wonder. No, he said no, I'm going to prove it to you. I'm going to prove it to you Cause I already know, I heard. I was like well, I didn't hear nothing. So there, rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth. Here we are right, eight years later.
Speaker 2:So to God. Be all the glory for that.
Speaker 1:That went fast.
Speaker 2:It went really really really fast, I have to tell you so enjoy every minute of it because you're right, you don't get your time back, right?
Speaker 1:So enjoy every single minute and I love what you said, that you know we have to be prepared for what we're asking for, and I often say have you prayed before instead of wind? Because I wind for a long time, so my prayer was really winding right. Have you prayed as much as you've talked about it? Have you prayed as much as you wind about it? And also, are you really preparing for what you're asking for? Because if he should bless you with what you've asked for and you've spent your whole time whining and crying and asking him when it's coming rather than preparing when it gets here you don't know what to do with it. So a lot of times to your point, maurice a lot of times I think sisters will um meet a good man right and then not know how to handle him yeah what do you even do with one?
Speaker 1:because one of the things I see in the body all the time, in the body of christ, we're taught to avoid men, women are taught to avoid men, and then we wonder why they go and marry the unsaved sister, or the sister barely she barely saved, I mean barely making it, and like sliding into home base trying to make it in she barely saved. She ain't got but one hallelujah on her tongue. But here's the thing she knows how to handle handle him she knows how to speak to a man.
Speaker 1:Right, I had to relearn my husband. He told me. He said you're too sharp and I was like so now I'm sharp and I'm rolling my eyes. So what we're? Going to do and it's like and again, here comes holy ghost going. What are we doing? This is the one you prayed for, like, oh, it's always on me, it's always on me. He goes. Yeah, because you're the only one you have control over that conviction comes quick if you allow it, though, but only if you allow it.
Speaker 1:See, that's, that's the thing. The conviction comes quickly if you allow it and if you heed to it, and there's been times I didn't, there's been times I didn't. I'm just at this point. It's a lot easier not to fight the holy ghost. I mean, it just is it. You know I'm just saying but, but I I could. I pretty much gave him a good run for his money and you know the word says that, um, I will not strive with the spirit of man forever.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to make him mad.
Speaker 1:I want to welcome him into my marriage, so be that third strand in our cord. I don't want to grieve him. People don't realize that the Holy Spirit has emotion, so I don't want to grieve him. I want him to be part of our joy. My husband enjoys coming home and I want that to always be his testimony.
Speaker 1:Because you're the best part of my day, love that, and I want that to always be, because I was a trip without luggage. Wow, that's, that's listen. That's real talk. That is real talk. That is real talk. But, thankfully, one of the things I say too, is that the more we teach, the more we learn.
Speaker 1:So, being in the position. That father has allowed me to teach some incredible women and to mentor some incredible women to the altar and the journey to the altar it's been a blessing, because it's also blessed you know me and my marriage because it keeps me on my toes. So if, if, if I had, if I had advice for single women, I would say get a mentor. Get a mentor real quick, because it's going to cut your learning curve and take out a lot of the drama that that you would have had to try to figure out by yourself, a lot of the drama that you would have had to try to figure out by yourself. But if you had something to share, naomi, with the single sisters who want to be married they're tired of embracing their singleness and they're ready to get married what would your advice be for them?
Speaker 3:You need the outside perspective because what happens is growing up. You're really shaped by family, by culture.
Speaker 3:So you grew up in the bubble, you know, and there's no one to call you outside the bubble, you think you're fine and you know there are people that will meet their the love of their life across the street. They were raised up together but that's not always the case. Right For me and another sister at that time, we just there was nobody in our circle, nobody that we, me and another sister. At that time we just there was nobody in our circle, nobody that we were attracted to in our home time, in our, in our. So I was like listen. I said either what's going on here? Do I have to move? Do I have to? You got to get out of the same circle and get a different perspective, because you're doing the same thing over and over and nothing's happening.
Speaker 3:And I knew it was a desire for me to get married because God had put that desire right. I had never really dated my whole life, but at 35, the light bulb went off and I said wait a minute. I said I want a companion, I want a companion. So, speaking to another sister, besides your program, because we had, I had to learn to work on some things for myself. Stop the, you can do everything on your own mentality. I'm fine, I got it. Give man a room to be a man. That's number one. Number two just try something different. I had always signed on to online profiles, but then I wouldn't like pursue anything.
Speaker 3:I remember this, oh, and I went back and back and I'm like remember it was a tug of war for a long time. So I don't know I can, because there could be cycles online. But there could be cycles right here in the street.
Speaker 1:I know some of them. I'm related to some of them street.
Speaker 3:I know some of them, I'm related to some of them, yeah, so it wasn't until another sister got um Facebook dating and she couldn't you know created a profile and I was like, oh, good for you, girl, good for you, but I wouldn't take my own advice. And it got to a point I was like what? What happens that again I had to try something different? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know. And then I think I don't know. He's too good to be true. I remember, do you remember this? He's too good to be true, I don't know. All right, let's see what he's talking about. How's it about? How's what he says like, oh, this is what happened. Oh, yeah, we're gonna let you know. All the team listen. Yeah, I think not. Right, you are the man and um, I just remember that. Wow, oh my gosh, could this really be real, right? Do you remember that? I remember these conversations and just checking in and I think that is so powerful.
Speaker 1:And it's a lot of times we think that accountability is just about people saying, oh no, don't take that person and this is wrong and that's wrong. But sometimes there's green flags that we don't necessarily recognize and we can miss a blessing because of our own stuff. And, like you said, if we don't have a different perspective, right, we'll just use the things that we've seen in our lives and that's not always the best way to pursue our relationships, right? So here was this good man who was into you from the beginning, and if y'all haven't listened to their interview, their first interview was hysterical and you have got to go back and hear more about her Wonder Woman and his feet and her eyebrows.
Speaker 1:Y'all need to go back and listen to that interview and, again, the link is going to be in the show notes. But God knew, god knew right, and so you did a few things right, just taking a chance. And I think that one of the things that we do is we don't want to take that leap right, like you talked about more recently beginning. That's a leap of faith that was new to her right, but you got to take that leap of faith. But here is the thing what I see a lot of us do and I'd love to hear from you on this is when we're ready to take those leaps, we take them alone. So we take them ill-advised or unadvised. We don't have a guide on the side saying oh baby, the bridge is out, don't leap right yet. Right, let the drawbridge come back down.
Speaker 1:Or somebody to say, hey, is this a red flag? Right? Because I remember some of the things in the group and we would be like, oh my gosh, and I have a whole flag set, maurice, I literally have flags. They have red flag, white flag, black flag, oh yeah, oh yeah, don't let me raise the black flag. This is bad. Raise the black flag.
Speaker 1:We are praying, homeboy, got to go right. But is this good? Is this right? How do I, how do I answer these things or how do I behave or respond? And that's, I think, that's so important, understanding that it's not just accountability, is not just about well, this person may not, you know, be maybe leading you astray or may not be honest with you. It's also about, hey, this is, this could be something. It's also about, hey, this could be something, this could be something. And I have a saying that we say yes until it's no right, because you have to let it play out. You have to hear what a man has to say, because in the beginning, a man tells you who he is and what he came for.
Speaker 1:If you listen, but we don't listen because we're too busy telling them what we want, what we ain't going to do, and I'm going to tell you and you that it's true. And end up missing out on a good thing, end up missing out on being his good thing. Oh shucks, he's like yes. I want the thing, hallelujah.
Speaker 3:Exactly, I didn't know how to talk to a guy. I would get nervous if I talked to a guy in church more than five minutes.
Speaker 2:She was really nervous, though. On her first date, though, um she kept falling, you didn't tell me that I think. I think I don't know if I said it or thought it so you really fall. You fall in love with me and I was there to catch her.
Speaker 1:I was there too, you wanted to see if you could handle it yeah, I don't know if that was a test to this day.
Speaker 2:It's really mystery, but it was really mystery some of the secrets we'll keep.
Speaker 1:I love it. So I know that you've learned a lot. You've shared a lot. I know that you, you've learned a lot. You, you know you've shared a lot. I'm so grateful that you, you've come back to give us some updates. I know, Naomi, that we spent a lot of time in prep and and um, you've shared that. You felt ready. Yeah, what is one thing you both wish that you had known before marriage? One thing that's a good one, right?
Speaker 3:I can't wait, um, wait, hold. On the silence. Um, the silence game is not as effective as you think, because sometimes I would, just because he was my first relationship. So sometimes I'm like, and sometimes we would, just if something rubbed us the wrong way, we would just the phone would go silent, but it was never more than like a day. But we were, we were really stubborn in the beginning, both of us. We were more like like the. We've seen the bending and the molding, you know.
Speaker 3:So I think one thing um, I wish we were practicing those things a little more, like more patience and things like that before you get married, because sometimes you can get so excited and we did the pre-marriage counseling and all that but sometimes working on that communication is so key, like having those clear things orient, you know, because sometimes you can step into marriage with two different ideas and then I mean I think it just everyone has to work at it. But taking more time to work on the communication part and on more of what, hey, what do you envision this to be or that to be? Because you can get so excited about things. More communication comes later. I said a lot in a nutshell but I would say, uh, spending more time communicating on what you know what. How do you see marriage before you actually?
Speaker 1:get married. So more time, um, like envisioning your time together and your marriage and and what have you? Yeah, yeah, I think that and I know, I know you were prepared. I know how much time we spent talking about that and not having Cinderella fantasies, and I mean, we worked together for a while and then, even after the program was over, we were in contact, still in contact, right, yeah.
Speaker 1:We were in contact still in contact, right, yeah, but I think there are some things that you won't know until you get married, right? There are some things when you're it's very different when you're living with someone and sleeping next to someone every night. It's a very different thing when you have to make your decisions together. So I mean, there's a certain amount of prep and then I think there's a certain amount of practical that it just has to. You know, you got to walk it out, you got to walk it out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's true. Yeah, really true.
Speaker 1:So, talking about vision as we wrap up, what are some future plans? What do you all see on the horizon for the next? Okay, so we're eight months in. So for the next 16 months months because that'll be at the two-year mark so for the next year and a half a little bit less than a year and a half what are some of your visions or goals? So, um let me get this one, since she got them.
Speaker 2:Um, I well, we want to still go. You know, I know the last crazy stuff. We're going from paris. We we to still. I still want to take her to Paris some of these days Because I know she had like a, you know, when I first met her she had like a Paris Alpha Tower behind her and stuff and that's quite after that, right. So I want to like you know. So I was like kind of like her vision board a little bit and she wouldn't like always want to go. She, you know, I know that she wouldn't go there because like multiple advertisers that she had. So I want to take it to Paris, but I also want to, you know, get my CDL license. Okay, you know, I know she's going to get her, like she want to get her. What is it?
Speaker 3:I was looking into notary Notary, so those are just like what are you thinking of doing?
Speaker 2:Obviously kids. So just kind of like, you know, move forward more financially so she can have a choice to work or not. But the job I'm having, the job I'm having is actually going to be used for kingdom business. So the CDL license, not only I just want to be a truck driver, but I want to Okay, it looks like we got a little a little lag on your internet there a blueprint.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna protect this conversation all right, we kind of lost you a little bit there, but it sounds like you're looking towards building a financial future and serving the kingdom with your work.
Speaker 1:I absolutely love it. Thank you for sharing that with us. I love it and you know, it's really what's really cool about you remembering what's on her vision board and your desire to bring it to pass. That's what I'm talking about, and we did catch you when you said you know, so she can have the choice if she wants to work or not. Sis was like hallelujah.
Speaker 3:Hallelujah, that's right. Glory, glory.
Speaker 1:So it sounds like the vision is matching. I'm excited for the two of you. So you know we're going to have to catch up again in the future and see how things are coming along. But so you know we're going to have to catch up again in the future and see how things are coming along. But in the meantime, thank you all for sharing with us, giving us the updates, and for sharing with the world. You know your experiences as newlyweds. It is so impactful because people don't talk about the physical stuff, but there's a whole lot of other things that goes into getting married and making it work and serving God together. So thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Speaker 2:Amen. Nothing but love, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Love having you and I'm so grateful that you're still on the ground. Amen that you're still on the ground. That you're still on the ground, no more planes.
Speaker 2:On the time we're going again, we'll be traveling in planes.
Speaker 1:So from now on, you'll stay inside the plane.
Speaker 2:Yeah, inside the plane, maybe harder.
Speaker 1:Naomi, if I were you, I'd be checking, because you know we're one and one.
Speaker 1:So one trip you were inside the plane, one trip you were outside of the plane. I don't know if it's alternating, but if I were you I would ask some questions. That's all. Thank you all so much. I will leave the links to their original interviews. I am telling you they are absolutely positively hysterical. Go back and listen to the other interviews, because you need to know more about Wonder Woman eyebrows. You need to know more about Wonder Woman eyebrows. You need to know more about Wonder Woman eyebrows yes, they do.
Speaker 1:All right, until next time. My name is Kimberly Knight and this is the Position Podcast. See you soon, take care. Bye, darlings.
