Brave Enough To Try

Conversation with Hannah | We pull back the curtain on mental health in the small business entrepreneur space + give you tips and self-care activities to help you push through.

June 29, 2023 Cindy Moore Season 1 Episode 11
Brave Enough To Try
Conversation with Hannah | We pull back the curtain on mental health in the small business entrepreneur space + give you tips and self-care activities to help you push through.
Show Notes Transcript

We pull back the curtain on mental health in the small business entrepreneur space + give you tips and self-care activities to help you push through.

Biggest Takeaways:

Therapy can be very helpful, check out some of these resources below: (we are not licensed professionals, we just share what has worked for us)

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Speaker 1  0:00  
So of all the times that I'm falling and failing, and like I say I say that loosely because it's always a learning opportunity. I try to look back and look within myself and figure out how I can do better.

Speaker 2  0:13  
Hey, it's Cindy, and you're listening to the brave enough to try podcast, a show created to provide you with helpful life and small businesses, as well as encouragement and inspiring conversations with friends that I've made along the way, so that you can inspire to be brave enough to chase after your wildest dreams. Hey, and Cindy, your podcast host of the brave enough to try Podcast. I'm so glad that you guys are joining us this week, I have a very special guest by the name of Hannah Haas. She is a realtor, avid traveler, podcaster and entrepreneur that encourages others to follow their dreams and to go after what they want in life. Growing up in a small town Midwest, it was very common to see people get a job and stay there for their entire lives. Because that's what's safe. rarely did Hannah ever see someone take a risk change jobs because they wanted to or even just move away. After years of knowing she wanted more out of life, Hannah got the courage to take a leap of faith and go after her dreams. She left her safe eight to six job to take on real estate full time. And after living that joy. She is now on a journey to encourage others to do the same. If you need inspiration, guidance or a cheerleader, you can follow Hannah on Instagram at holler at Hannah, and on her podcast Confessions of an entrepreneur. Hannah, I'm so excited to welcome you to this show. Sue,

Speaker 1  1:28  
thank you so much for having me. I'm a little nervous. So hopefully this goes well. Usually on the other side.

Speaker 2  1:35  
I'm nervous every time that I record, trust me, I'm always like, butterflies in my stomach. So I feel. So I always ask every guest that I have on the show to tell us a little bit about their journey. So for you, I'd like to know what what did your entrepreneur journey look like? So if you could share with us a quick timeline of what that looks Yeah. So it kind

Speaker 1  1:55  
of started looking back. Like if you were to like, take a look at my life. Looking back when I was like a kid like Kid kid, I had like an entrepreneurial spirit. So growing up, I wanted to be a singer. And we would go to these things called rendezvoused, which are like an 1800 reenactment weekend like you camp and you like you were at all the stuff and everything. And I would like sit on the side of the street and sing for money. So I was like trying to like make my own way, then even and I grew up low means we grew up very poor. So I was pretty much working and trying to find money in a way to live a way to buy stuff that I wanted to, from a very young age. So looking back, that's kind of where it started and where I see it. And then you know, getting more into my adult life, I thought that I wanted to do the corporate thing, you know, get the job, the office, I always had this weird, like vision that I'm going to get the office and then I was going to get a globe for my desk. That was my dream. Like I'm gonna get the office with a window, and we have a globe on my desk. And that was what was my dream was for the longest time because that is what I was told safety was that's what I was told that having a job, the safety net, you get the money, you go to college, you know, you do the things and then you get all the other things just follow. And when I was 18, I started to go to college, I originally went to be a lawyer, I quickly learned that I talk more and better than I can writing and reading and I didn't realize how much writing and reading went into law. So I ended up switching to communication and business. And a year and a half in. We had a lot of family things going on. And I wasn't doing great in college. So I ended up dropping out and I told myself was only for a semester and that'd be back in the fall. And then I found car sales. So I was in car sales for a while working 60 hours a week. And it was so weird because I thought I remember thinking that like $35,000 a year were like really good money. Like that's how poor I grew up like $5,000 a year I was so good, I'm doing awesome. But she'll give me wrong that is a good chunk of money. So if you're making 35,000 no knock to you. Just I then I later realize that that is not avid and helpful to the template that I wanted. So then after two years ago, I had a car sales and then I went into ad sales. And in there I had little delves into, you know what to call in clothing, retail and college and I actually worked part time at a furniture store and sale. So there was all this little droplets of sales and like trying to make my own way and make my own money because that's what sales is is commission based so you can make your own way and you pretty much control it. But I was being controlled by somebody else's timeline. I had to be somewhere at a certain time. And it was also followed with a lot of toxic job environments, a lot of toxic managers and it took me a while to read realize and to learn that I was not cut out for that I didn't like this really being told where to go, what to do, how to do it. It just wasn't my type of thing. And in 2019, my husband and I were looking at some land, outside talking because we wanted a lot in the country. And our realtor who had sold our house that we currently live in, did not work out the land. We didn't do it. But that day was the day that my now broker asked me to come on board as realtor because he knew that I really liked sales, and that I was relatively good at it. And after some back and forth, and some trying, I was like, Yeah, I can do it. But it's only part time. Like, there's absolutely no way I could go full time real estate, because it's 100% Commission base, you don't get paid unless something closes. So I was like, There's no way that we could financially do that right now. So I ended up getting my license, within two and a half months, I sold two houses in the fourth quarter of 2019, which for a new agent in a small area is kind of unheard of. Yeah. And then the year after that I actually made more in real estate than I wasn't my nine to five job. And at this point, I was working as a Lending Specialist at a local financial institution. So at that point, I was like, gosh, I'm kind of good at this. But I was so scared, I was so scared to leave the safe job to leave the constant paycheck to leave the insurance to leave the PTO. And I kept telling myself, I'm not good enough, there's absolutely no way that I can do it. And now I look back at it as a lot of it's done for my mental health, which I know that we'll touch base on and self doubt and the story that we all are told growing up, it's not safe to do that don't following your dreams is reckless, don't do that. And in 2022 in March 2002, I ended up just on a whim, I quit my job, I put my three weeks notice in I was like I've had enough of this. i We don't have kids yet. We're relatively financially stable right now, I have a little bit of my savings like, this is the time to do it. If this is if I'm going to fail, this is the time to fail not like later when we have kids to rely on and all these other things. So I did and my husband was pretty supportive. And my friends were all cheering me on and it just in the last year and three months, because it's June of 2003 right now, so than last year, three months, I myself, I'm not the same person I was in March of 2022. But this journey so far from where I am has been absolutely amazing. And I will never look back. It has been the best decision I ever made.

Speaker 2  7:50  
I'm copy for you. Because I'm just so inspired I love Oh, I love your story. And it's it's so familiar to me, because I think a lot of us are kind of in that situation, right? Where we want more out of life, we don't really know how to like take that plunge. And fear holds us back. So many times. It's one of those things where it's like, but this is safe, and this is unsafe. And I just don't know if I'm ready to like, jump into that. And I felt that to my soul, because I stepped out of the classroom at the end of 2022. You know, I had been a teacher for years. And it was really hard. In fact, I felt like I lost a sense of who I was like the minute that I decided I wasn't coming back. Yeah, but this has been amazing. So I am just so in awe of you. So thank you so much for sharing your story. One of the things that I don't think we talked enough about is obviously mental health in the entrepreneurial, you know, space. So as an entrepreneur, how have you navigated the challenges of building a business while also finding the time to prioritize your mental health?

Speaker 1  8:57  
It's been hard. And I struggle with it every day. So this is not a hey, look at me, I conquered it like I struggle with it every day. I was just struggling with it with this weekend. Like it's it's really difficult because it's somebody who has anxiety, a history of anxiety as well as I have undiagnosed ADHD. I know I have it, I just refuse to get diagnosed with it. And it's a personal thing I'm working through with my therapist. i There are days where I could start out on top of the world. I'm like, I'm gonna get so much done today. This is gonna be awesome. And one tiny, miniscule thing could go wrong and my entire day gets gets thrown out. Like all of a sudden I'm paralyzed. I can't do anything. I'm the worst person in the world. And even if I share that with my husband and he's one of my biggest cheerleaders it he could just talk me up and helped me out and everything. It's still not enough. Because my my interior self negative talking is like not you suck, like, why did you think you could do this? And there are days that I struggle with it, and I just can't get past it. And I just kind of have to lie in myself, what would thing and what was me and then the next day, I could be completely fine again. And it's like it never even happened. And there are a lot of things that I've worked with with my therapists and therapy is one, that has helped me a lot. And that has been a roller coaster, too. I went from going over two weeks to the new graduate to a month, and now I'm back to every two weeks. So and that kind of took me down a little bit. But as my friends reminded me, that's not bad. It's good, because I was strong enough to admit that I needed it. Absolutely. There's just been a lot of other things that I've been working on, but struggling with it is really difficult. And I've learned that I need people, I need my own routine, I need my just time to navigate it with myself. But also I need to tell people that I'm navigating it too. I can't do it alone. So when I'm having those hard days, and those hard times, I need to tell somebody, because if I just think sitting on my own, I'm never gonna get out of it.

Speaker 2  11:16  
Right? Absolutely. Oh, my gosh, yes. I couldn't agree with you more. I am very faithful to therapy, as well. In fact, I know I mentioned to you before we hopped on the podcast that I just got back from my road trip. And while I was gone, you know, I'm posting pictures and sharing and I had people reach out to me, and they're like, Oh, you're so lucky. And like, you know, I wish that I could do that. And I kind of thought to myself, it's not always easy. It's not always like this. And I think people have this like idea of like an entrepreneur, right? Like they are always like having great day and like they're making moves, and they're doing all these things. And the reality is there's like so much behind the scenes. And it doesn't always look like what we put on our socials or like what we share on our newsletters or you know, whatever. Sometimes we do give people a glimpse into the behind the scenes. But there are some days where we just shut out the world, I'm like you sometimes I really just need to feel my feelings, I need to just say, I've done the best that I could today. And I just can't I can't give any more. And I try to give myself grace, because I think we push ourselves too hard. I think especially in the in the realm of mental health. We are like, Go Go, go go. Because if I don't go, then I'm not worthy. Or if I don't do this, and I'm not enough, or I see other people doing this, and then we start to feel, you know, comparison, and we start to feel bad about ourselves. And I think it's so important to admit one, okay, I'm having some issues, I need to, I need to pump the brakes. And to, like you said, you have to tell someone for me, community is such a big, like motivator. I think having community and like sharing it with people and understanding that other people are going through through it is so important because nobody has to do this alone. And I think entrepreneurs, especially new ones that are like coming onto the scene, they're like, I gotta get it all because I gotta be on, I got to, you know, be doing this because that person is doing this. And it's like, everybody has their own journey. Everybody's at their own pace. Everybody has good days, everybody has bad days. And if we could just be more transparent about it, I think that it could touch a lot of people's lives. And I think that it could really give them a break and then them not be so you know, hard on them.

Speaker 1  13:26  
Yeah. hard on themselves. Yep. And that's something I'm striving to normalize.

Speaker 2  13:29  
Why is yes. And I think it's important, I think, I think we as entrepreneurs who are are already in this journey, should definitely talk about it more, which I'm so glad you're on the show to talk about it because I do feel like there are people listening that are saying, oh, man, I relate to that. I'm so feeling that right now. Could you if you're willing to share a specific instance where you encountered mental health obstacle while bringing your business and how you overcame it? Or how you, you know, got the strength to push through?

Speaker 1  14:01  
Yeah, so there's been plenty of those days. So I mentioned this earlier with my husband, I we actually own an Airbnb as well. And when we first opened it, I was anxiety driven. I was like, what people don't like it when people think that it's so bad, like the reviews and everything like I was a hot mess. And there was one time we had a guest who was not very happy with something our AC broke in the middle of July. It was like the hottest week that we had here in Wisconsin and the AC ended up freezing up so it ended up not running correctly. And I started having a panic attack because I was like she's gonna like hate us. We're gonna get such a bad review. It's gonna be terrible, like reputation is gonna be ruined and there goes our business. We spent so much money on getting this going, like spiral, just a frickin spiral. And my husband who is a lot more level headed than I am. He's beginning to mine Yeah, he's like, it's fine. It's okay. And I was like, I cannot handle this, I can't do it, I need you to handle it. And normally, I'm the one who handles communication because it's easier for me to do it like with my job than his like he's in school full time he works at a factory, he can't be looking at his phone more than what like I can. So normally I handle it. And I was like, I can't, I can't do this, I need you to handle it, I need you to do it. And he's a lot more like it is what it is like, just chill. So at that point, and this is something that's really hard as somebody who is an Enneagram, three with a wink to, as well as I'm a generator, and I'm type A with ADHD and anxiety. That was really hard for me to just give it up. Like, even though it's my husband and my business partners, right that they trust. It was so hard for me to just be like, handle it because the problem was like, what if he says the wrong thing? Because he's very nonchalant. So he could say something. And somebody might think that it's rude. And he didn't think that it was rude. Like he just doesn't, you know, understand that. And I was so worried that it was worse. But like, at the same time, like I when I get stressed out i i Cry man, I mad cry. So that's even worse, as well as I get cold sores when I get stressed out. And I got like four cold sores that week, because of how stressed out I was. And I was like, I just, I need to take this off my plate, I need to relinquish it. So that is definitely something that in that time was really, really hard for me. That happened about a year ago. And we just had another guest who stayed and he left us four stars, no communication, absolutely nothing. And a year ago, me would have had a panic attack about it. This year. I'm like, whatever. Like it literally did not bother me. Because I told my husband. I'm like, yeah, he left us four stars. And he's like, Oh, are you okay? Like, yeah, I'm fine. Six seriously? Like, Yeah, I'm good. Like, it didn't bother me.

Unknown Speaker  17:03  
Because he was like, wait a minute, let me know what yeah, he's like,

Speaker 1  17:05  
sure. Like, are you just like, hi, like, because like, sometimes I don't communicate? Well, he's like, Are you sure? I'm like, yeah. Like, how do I know? Like, he all he said is that was a good stay in love with four stars like, whatever. At this point. I just, I've learning to give up things that I can't control. Like, I cannot control everything. And don't get me wrong. There's still days, like, I just had a real estate customer who is not very happy with me. It's a good friend of mine, though. And I'm replaying the scenario in my head constantly. Like, are they mad at me, we're still gonna be friends after this like, so don't worry, there's still things that I obsess over and try to control. And so but there's just areas in my life, that that through therapy through personal work that I have just had to say, I can't it's not something that I can capacitate today. And I need to let it go.

Speaker 2  18:01  
I'm so if I mean, I'm sure you noticed that. But just like listening to you, I'm like the growth, right? Like the growth in over a year, it's been a win, especially like when you're in therapy. And like you're talking to your therapist, and like, I know, I'm very I do this all the time. I'm like, but I don't see any changes. And then they'll be like, let's talk about all the things that you've done. And it's really amazing when they put it in front of you like that. Because you're like, wow, you're right. Like I've been able to, like push through. And so the year ago version of you, you know, like you said, you were having a panic attack, and but you have the strength within you to pass it on, even though it was really, really hard for you to do. You did that. And then now a year later, you're like, Yeah, you know, it is what it is. And it's just amazing to me, because it gives people hope that you might be in a really dark place right now. But that might be totally different, you know, three months, six months, nine months, 12 months from now. And I think that hope is the thing that we really need to like, hold on to, because it's such an amazing story. I gotta tell you, I am very much like you in the sense that whenever I'm working with like friends, or like clients that are very, that I'm like, really close to, if communication is off, I start to like, assume things in my head, and oh my gosh, my, my parents always used to tell me that when you assume something, and you're just making an ass out of you and me, and I'm sure like everybody has heard it. And so I try to think about that, because I'm like, I don't really know, like what's going on in their life? And I really need to, if I'm really curious, I should just ask, you know, I should just ask, and I think that that'll take some of that worry off of me. And if they are upset, well then we can handle it, you know, when they tell me. But I think it's worse when we were constantly playing these scenarios in our head because the only person that is really bothering is us because they probably have no idea that we're assuming all of these things, but I'm very much like you in that sense. Sometimes I do that and I'm like, why don't afterwards I'm like, I did I just spent a whole week like you know, not sleeping and like worried about all these things and it could have just asked Another one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about is that we all know that like, as an entrepreneur, or as like a small business owner, we experience bouts of stress and burnout, right? I mean, I think it's like very common. So what would you say are some of your effective self care practices that you partake in, to kind of help take the edge or the stress off of you,

Speaker 1  20:22  
my main one is moving my body in some way. So whether that just be taking my dog for a walk, or getting into the gym, or just getting out of the house to move my body, like just walk around the mall, just just doing something and setting myself away from what is stressing me out. Because when we're moving our body, we release endorphins, the feel good endorphins, right. So I'm not a scientist, I don't know the exact terms. But when we're, we take ourselves out of that situation, and we move our body, then we start to feel all these, these better feelings. And like I said, science, I'm not very good at it. But I know that works. So for me, moving my body in some way, shape, or form is very important. At this point in my life, I am kind of a recovering, self hating body image person, I'm, I still struggle with it every day. But I'm trying to remind myself that moving my body isn't for my, my image is for my mental health. So that is extremely important for me, and also to therapy. I just started going to that last September. And like I said, it's done wonders for me. Even my husband, when I first started going to it, he was like, why are you going to therapy? Why are we spending a couple $100 a month for you to go to therapy, like you're fine. Like he didn't see it? Because he's with me every day. So as he does things, okay, this is his Hana like it's normal. And he didn't really quite understand the reason for me going. And now after months of work, and our communication getting better, and our intimate relationship getting better, he has seen how far and how much has really helped. So if you're listening to this, and you're on the edge of seeing a therapist, when I know it's not affordable for everybody, there are resources out there. So please do look into it, I highly recommend it. If you've seen a therapist in the past and and and go, well try a different therapist. Therapist fired me. So it happens. Also to is just having a community around you who you can talk to, and who if you just need to do a Dhama rant. Like just having that community personally, I have different communities for different things. So I had my friend group who, like I could just say the stupidest things. And they were like, Yeah, you right, like, cheer me on, it just helped me through with that. And then there's my husband, who is the voice of reason, I don't go to him when I just want to rant I go to him when I want to solution, because he men don't know, to just leave a be half the time. And they won't just let you rant they want to try to fix it. And then I also have like my group of fellow entrepreneurs who and real estate people, too, who, if I have a real estate thing, I have like Facebook groups, and I'm part of other women in real estate. And I, you know, we just go on there and we just sometimes rant or just say things and talk it through. And something I've definitely realized is that a part of my undiagnosed ADHD is that sometimes I have to talk things through two to three times before I can actually make work it out and make it make sense to myself. And I used to think that that was just me like focusing on something and being really annoying. But I realized that that is actually my way of working it out, I need to say it two or three times, I need to go through it a few times for me to realize what happened, make sense of it, come up with the right solution for it. So sometimes I have to say to my husband, to my friends and to my broker to like it has to go a few different places for me to actually work it out. Make sense? So your physical health are really helps your mental health. So just making that movement, and then also to the third thing I do and it doesn't happen often because I have a really hard time shutting myself off is sometimes I just need to shut my phone off and not reply to anybody. And just take that time for myself. Get away from it.

Speaker 2  24:20  
I can Yeah, I can only imagine how hard that third thing might be. If you

Unknown Speaker  24:27  
usually have to leave the country for me to do that.

Speaker 2  24:30  
And I you know, I started incorporating days where it's like, I don't want to talk about my business. It's just like days for me to just like share about my life and things like just because not only are some of my followers are not just like I've seen my brave enough to try community but you know, friends and cousins and people that want to stay in touch with me and so I want to make sure that I'm like showing that human side of me too. And I think it's okay, like you don't have to be all about business 24/7 So to my small business listeners like it's okay, you can have some days that are just for you. Yeah, And the people that are meant will stick around and engage with you because they like to know that human side of you, but I love movement. Phenomenal. Okay, take a little walk. I think walks are really great because I think, for me, they really helped clear my head that sometimes I'd have to walk and I started to kind of reasoned with myself and start really thinking through some of the things that I was kind of feeling and I'm like, okay, you know, maybe I shouldn't have reacted that way or whatever. Zumba for me, like, I love dancing was like one of my things. Like, if you put a Zumba video on, I'm like, forget everybody. Like, I just want to get my moves. And you know, and then of course, therapy, like, so. So true. I was also fired from viewing, Well, believe it or not, um, I, sometimes if it doesn't work out with the first one, maybe you don't see eye to eye or maybe you're not like, on the same page, it's okay. Like, if it doesn't work out, it's okay. And but don't let that be like a stopping point for you to say like, this is not for me, right? You know, I have someone really close to me. That was her whole thing was like, I had a terrible experience. Like, I never want to do it again. And I was like, don't give up. You know, like, there's plenty of people, you're going to find the one. And eventually you do and you stick to it. And it feels really good. Because like you were talking about your support system, you have friends that you can like, say anything to and they will rally you on the husband, my husband, same way, I can't like go to him unless I need a solution. Because even if I go and just complain about something he wants to fix up what is I don't know what it is about husbands like they want to fix everything. Well, who do I need to talk to? And what I need to do? And I'm like, no, no, no, I just need you to like this, hear me out. And then of course, you have your community. So like, for me, I've made so many incredible like Instagram besties. It's what I call it, like we've now worked in like we they are, they're my go to support system when like, I'm having issues with like a newsletter, you know, thing or a community thing or whatever. And it's so amazing what you can gain from that. But my therapists for me, and I explained to my husband, because the first time I started going, he was he was a little bit unsure. Like, why you have me like, am I not enough? Like, can I not help you? And it's not that it's that I need somebody who's not in my inner circle, I need somebody who's not biased towards me, I need someone to tell me what it is for what it is. And not because they're emotionally invested in me. You know, like, it's hard sometimes for people because they they're like, why can I give you advice? Or like, like, can I give you suggestions, you know, and it's like, I need somebody who, who's just not emotionally invested in me in that way. Because I want them to tell me what it is for what it is versus what I think it is. So and I know a lot of people probably can't afford therapy. And you're right, there are a lot of really great resources. And I will actually plug some in, in the notes on the bottom of this podcast in case you guys are interested in that because I do think that if you are on the fence, take this as your sign as me and Hannah telling you like you should really try it because I think it would be really good for you and your mental health. One of the things I also want to talk about, as in entrepreneur, it's obviously really common to face failures or setbacks. I know I have experienced many in my business journey. How do you how do you bounce back? Like how do you bounce back from a negative encounter with a customer or maybe something didn't work out and it fell through? What would you say is a source of inspiration for you that's helped you bounce back and kind of stay positive as you move forward.

Speaker 1  28:31  
First, I need to make sure I feel my emotions. I used to just shove it to the side and not feel it and not work through it. And I quickly realized that that was I it just isn't good. So I need to feel my emotions I allow myself to feel my emotions. Also too, I work really hard and I try to remind myself not to let that make me give up. So something that I really do is that I will one it's a little silly but I actually love and I highly recommend it I go back and I look at my reviews from all my happy customers and like we're friends on Facebook so I can go to like their life and like like their page and see what they're up to. And I go back and look at all my reviews and like you know why they liked me and some of that's really been hard for me is that not everyone is that is going to like me I am such a people pleaser I people pleasing tendencies. Actually, I should not say that people pleaser people pleasing tendencies. So that is really something that's been hard for me. It's just reminding myself that I can't make everyone happy. And there's absolutely no way to do it. Because not everyone's gonna like you can literally be like on paper per textbook, the perfect person in the world, not everyone's gonna like you. So, what I do is when that happens, when I look at the reviews, and then two, I search and I go out and I find the light in my life currently. So like Right now, like I said, I have one client that's not super happy with me. And, but I have other clients simply love me. And I just continue to work with them and remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can. I will I never ever intentionally mess up ever, like Who wouldn't like who intentionally like as an entrepreneur messes up or makes a mistake, right? So I just try to remind myself that I did the best I can. I acknowledged my feelings. And I take it as a learning opportunity, I take it as constructive criticism. What did I Where did I mess up? What did I do wrong? And I say that loosely, okay. But it's just a reminder that you're not perfect, and that we can only everyone's gonna make mistakes, everybody has those days. And you just have to take it as an as an opportunity to learn and grow from it. Like you're gonna fall down, you're gonna make mistakes. If people who have hundreds of 1000s of followers and have had these amazing businesses, guess what, most of them have had businesses that have failed multiple times. They've probably filed bankruptcy, they failed, they've, they've done all of the bad things. But they didn't give up. They took what they learned from failing. And they took it and then they made a successful business. So of all the times that I'm falling and failing, and like I say, I say that loosely, because it's always a learning opportunity. I try to look back and look within myself, and figure out how I can do better. And how I can be better not only for myself, but for my clients, my family, everyone, but put myself first.