EP41: Reclaiming the Power of Audacity: A New Narrative for Female Entrepreneurs

How often have you, as a woman, been told to sit still, be quiet, or to not make a scene? How has that shaped your journey into entrepreneurship, and does it hold you back from being audacious and authentic?

This week I talk very plainly about the conditioning that women undergo from childhood that follows us into adulthood, influencing our capacity to be authentic, even when we're invited to as entrepreneurs -- and to which the antidote is cultivating The Audacity.

Shift your perspective on what it means to be audacious, why it's so important to business longevity, and how we can reclaim audacity to be a leverage point for us, not a limitation.

Join the 1-hour Yes, The Audacity training happening Oct 24, 2023 at 12pm ET (replay available). Sign up here: https://corporate-rehab.ck.page/products/audacity

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to the Business Blasphemy podcast, where we question the sacred truths of the online business space and the reverence with which they're held. I'm your Sarah Khan, speaker, strategic consultant and BS busting badass. Join me each week as we challenge the norms, trends and overall bullshit status quo of entrepreneurship to uncover what it really takes to build the business that you want to build in a way that honors you, your life and your vision for what's possible, and maybe piss off a few gurus along the way. So if you're ready to commit business blast for me, let's do it. Hello, hello, blast femurs.

Speaker 1: 0:37

So last week I had a conversation with a lady whose podcast I will be on in the next little while, and we were talking about bullying and our experiences with bullying. I was bullied horrifically from kindergarten right all the way up to 12th grade. It was pretty freaking traumatic. There's a lot. There's a lot there. We're not going to unpack it here for you today, but we were talking about how it impacts women as they grow older and we got onto the topic of why women struggle to show up as themselves, and one of the reasons can be traced back to this need that we have as children, as teens as young people, to fit in and conform and to not stand out, because when you stand out you're potentially a target and this is carried with us into adulthood. When you're in the corporate space, you are expected to toe the party line and to not be loud, not stand up, not make noise, because again, you become a target. And so we spend all of our school years and most of our adult years trying to fit in to whatever boxes we're supposed to fit into. And then we become entrepreneurs and we come into this business space and we're told you have to stand out, you've got to do things to make yourself visible and be seen, and there's no bridge between sit down and be quiet and stand up and make noise and to be fair, for a lot of people, being visible is incredibly scary. We're told to show up and to be visible, but we're very rarely given the context of what that actually means.

Speaker 1: 2:15

What does it mean to show up authentically? Not just for me, but how do I show up as my authentic self? And what we find is, women do start showing up, but they show up as caricatures of other people, as copies of their mentors or social media influencers or their own coaches or other women they see in the online space that are successful and it's like, oh, I'm going to be like that because she's successful, or if I behave like that, or if I do those things or if I have that messaging, I'll be successful too. And look, if that's been how you've done things, it is not your fault. All of us are not given the context for what it means to be visible authentically, like. How do we cultivate authenticity when we have literally been told to conform our entire lives?

Speaker 1: 3:14

This is something that's been on my heart for so many years because of how I grew up, you know, because I was bullied. I grew up very much in a box and in the last 10 years or so, I've really started to understand how to show up in a way that is comfortable and authentic to me, what that actually means, what I've had to unpack and work on and, more importantly, what action steps I needed to take, because nothing actually changes without action. Now, also lately, what I've been doing is I've been reading a lot of articles about the state of the economy and I have been tracking trends in the business space. I've attended a couple of webinars about trends from people who never seem to get it wrong. You know, basically, where are things going from an entrepreneurship perspective and what's going to happen Very likely going to happen in 2024. And it's been important to me for the last few months to know what we have to do in order to still have businesses next year, because I have seen a lot of my peers close their businesses down and there's no shame in that Like, if it's not working and you want to go back to work, that's totally fine. And if you want your business to survive, what do we have to do? What do we realistically have to do?

Speaker 1: 4:29

So I started to put those two things together right, showing up authentically. It'll make sense in a minute. And how do I ensure that my business is actually going to last? How do I make sure that I can do all of the things that I started this business to do? And so my brain did what it always does. It figured out the intersection of things that you need to do, the things you actually need to take action on and get clear on If you want to be an authentic leader, somebody who is comfortable showing up in their truth, somebody who is fearless and how they pursue their goals, and who doesn't do things at the expense of other people. Now you may be wondering what does that have to do with business? It will make sense. Stay with me.

Speaker 1: 5:10

I call this audacious liberation and I'll explain more in a minute. But I just want to mention that on October 24th I'm doing a one hour training, all about this, and I'd love for you to be there. It's $40. I'll put the link in the show notes and I'm going to give you my four step process in that training, my framework, the thing that I have used over the last few years to build a very visible, very successful, powerful brand. That is wholly and authentically me. Because here's what you need you need to cultivate audacity.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Now, audacity is tossed around like this negative word, like people who have the audacity, and it makes you clutch your pearls. I don't know why. I did a Southern accent there, but that's what came out. It makes you clutch your pearls, but that's not what it is. Audacity is actually being very focused. It's someone who is committed to their goals, someone who's relentless in the pursuit of their goals and someone who's a leader, but someone who leads with love, leads with compassion. Why? Because you're comfortable in your own skin. You're comfortable in your truth. You don't have to browbeat people into submission, you don't have to convince them of anything, you don't have to manipulate them. You show up in your beauty, your honesty, your authenticity. That is audacity, the audacity to show up as yourself, and that is where you need to start. Take the one hour training, but also I want to break this down for you here, because that's why you're here. What is audacity? How exactly is it going to help you become more secure, and not only yourself, but in your business as well? Let's start with the obvious. What is audacity, then Sarah?

Speaker 1: 6:54

I asked on all my socials a few weeks ago how people defined audacity, and the results were interesting, but not unexpected. People defined audacity as being reckless or being overconfident. They defined it as being bold, knowing your shit, being unapologetic, actually bold the word bold came up a lot more than any other word, but it's also this idea of being someone who disregards the rules. Overall, audacity is seen as walking that fine line between something positive and something negative. Audacity is seen as having a reckless quality about it, which is not 100% true. It's also seen as being bold and courageous, which is also not 100% true.

Speaker 1: 7:37

Let me put it to you this way. We've all experienced it in some form. Right? Strong, bold men, audacious men, we see them as alphas. They're masculine, virile I know, virile, that word is so weird they are desirable, they're seen as desirable. Sorry, my brain buffered there for a second. But strong women, audacious women, they're bitches, they're aggressive, they're too masculine, they're unattractive, they're pushy, they're difficult. And we all think it. Let's be completely honest here. We're all friends. We all have a love-hate relationship with audacious women.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Right, it's not just men who have a problem with strong, bold women. Women have a problem when their sisters stand up and stand out and take up space. And, as much as we hate to admit it, the reason is usually because we secretly want to be like her. We want to be her. We just can't admit it or we're celebrated for it in some circles, like our boldness, we're celebrated for it, but then we're also targeted for it.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Our ambition is interpreted very differently than a man's. Even among our friend groups it's tolerated to a degree, so long as we're willing to go along with the status quo of the group. And this double standard causes so many of us who have big, bold ambitions to tone them down, change them, make them more palatable, or give them up all together, or we do the opposite we turn the volume up so fucking loud it makes people's eyes water. I mean, a lot of women are like, well, fine, I'm just going to turn it right up.

Speaker 1: 9:05

But there's this expectation that to be a strong, audacious woman you have to be pushy, bitchy, aggressive, scary, and that means I've also got to give up parts of myself, right, or sometimes even people in my life. And I'm here to tell you that that expectation is completely misguided and misunderstood. Look, audacity is not a negative word or a negative trait. The very definition of audacity is to have the courage to accomplish the extraordinary, and that requires taking bold risks or doing daring things. Some might think it requires a reckless quality, but really the execution is what underscores the misunderstanding of audacity. Right, people do it very recklessly. But audacity itself? That's not what it is, because it's all about intention and it's time to reframe our thinking around what it means to be an ambitious, strong, bold woman, what it means to be audacious.

Speaker 1: 10:05

Audacious is about being brave enough to go after what you want. It's about being thoughtful, committed, relentless in the pursuit of your goals, but not at the expense of certain things like your values, your ethics, your humanity or the people around you. Audacity is really about being a leader, leading with love, inspiring people, not brow-beating them into submission. And if you wanna be an iconic leader, a thought leader that really inspires people, a truly liberated leader, you absolutely need to have audacity. Now you may be sitting there thinking to yourself I'm absolutely fine, sarah, I'm ambitious enough, things are good.

Speaker 1: 10:44

But let me ask you a few questions here, okay, because there are a number of conditions that, if you are really honest with yourself, indicate you probably need to be more honest about whether you are being your true self and living with the audacity that I think you need, or whether you are convincing yourself that everything is okay. So let me ask if you've been feeling stuck, or you've been feeling stuck a lot. Maybe you worry that you're never gonna meet your full potential because you're afraid of how people are gonna react to the real you, so you keep yourself masked. You know you've got so much to share with the world, to give to the world, but you don't know how to do that because it all just feels like too much. You're afraid of being too much. Those are telltale signs that you need to be more audacious.

Speaker 1: 11:33

If you have a dream that has been on your heart for so long but it never feels like the right time to pursue it, or you keep telling yourself that when things settle down or things get easier, you'll give it a shot, those are telltale signs that you need to cultivate more audacity. If you are constantly frustrated because you know you have a shit ton of knowledge but still feel like it's not enough to move you forward, or you know that you've been doing all the things you've been told by this coach or that coach to do and you're still not seeing the results you want, or you continually find yourself distracted because oh well, so-and-so is doing that and they're successful, so maybe I should do that. Even when your implementation is better, even when your execution is better, you still feel like you're not getting any traction. These are all telltale signs that you need to liberate yourself from the bullshit status quo, and that requires audacity. You wanna know what audacity does? It frees you from social constraints and conventions. It gives you the fuel, the courage, to act outside the box.

Speaker 1: 12:37

A fundamental tenet of the work I do with my one-to-one clients is to cultivate what I call audacious liberation. Let me tell you what my definition of that is. Audacious liberation is the bold act of freeing yourself from constraints, barriers or limiting beliefs, in a way that might be seen as daring or unconventional, but it's all about challenging the status quo. It's all about having the courage to step out of your comfort zone to achieve that genuine freedom and empowerment. Because, listen, empowerment isn't at the expense of other people. Empowerment isn't at the expense of your values or your priorities or your capacity. Empowerment is not something I can give you. You have to take it. All I can do is create the environment with the right conditions to make it safe for you to feel like you can.

Speaker 1: 13:30

And when you step into your audacity, you are clear on what you want. You're clear on what it'll take to get it. You cultivate resilience because you reframe what you're trying to achieve and get really clear on why. Because that's where limits come from not being fully clear or fully aligned. Audacity changes that, because it pulls you out of FOMO and other comparison nonsense.

Speaker 1: 13:57

Stepping into your audacity requires you to get the fuck out of your comfort zone, but not by force, but because it no longer feels comfortable. When you step into your audacity, you're clear on your worth, you're clear on what it is that is on your heart, you have a clear focus and you get really tired of staying where you are. And suddenly moving forward gets easier because you know where you're going, you know how you're going to get there and you know why. And when you are audacious, you finally find that freedom that comes from making choices that align with your authentic self rather than what's expected. It allows you to act on your values and ambitions rather than being stuck in indecision and analysis paralysis. It gives you the room to fail. It gives you the room to grow, to learn comfortably and with confidence and resilience, and suddenly you find yourself going faster and exploring new terrains, environments, things in ways that you never thought possible. It allows you to become undeniable. And what does that mean? It means that, no matter what, you're not going to be put off your goal. Audacity allows you to tap into that deeper motivation that pulls you out of that weird space of tension between fear and desire, fear and want, and it actually lays the groundwork for the more nuanced skills that real, true leadership requires.

Speaker 1: 15:26

This is the work, my friend. This is the work that has been on my heart for so long, and the ironic thing is this was also the missing link in my work. Until I stepped into my own audacity, there always felt like there was something missing, but once I fully acknowledged how I got here and went back and let my operational brain figure out the steps, I was able to pinpoint four very clear keys that are required for audacity, and I'm going to tell you right now it's not what you think, it's not just mindset work. My four-step framework actually requires you to take action, and there is something that I have learned over this last year and actually over the last several years working with clients that if you want your business to succeed long-term, you have to start prioritizing taking action. There is nothing worse for me than a client that I worked with two years ago, three years ago, coming back to me and being stuck in the exact same spot. They were two or three years ago Not because the strategy wasn't good enough, because they didn't prioritize taking action. They were afraid and they stayed stuck in learning and in being coached and mindset. They didn't take action. You have to start prioritizing taking action.

Speaker 1: 16:31

Mindset is important. It is the other side of the coin, but too many people get stuck on that one side. If you want your business to be sustainable, if you want to start showing up in your truth, if you want to build a brand that is magnetic and powerful and fully and authentically you, if you want to be able to create a legacy and by legacy I'm not talking about some grand thing that impacts the world. Now, if that's what you want, fantastic, I'm here for it. But when I say legacy, I'm talking about something that carries you into the future.

Speaker 1: 17:00

I don't know about you, but I created my business because I did not want anyone else to ever have to take care of me. I did not want to have to rely on anyone else for the things I truly need and desire in my life. I wanted total autonomy, freedom and security, and I can't do that if my business doesn't succeed. And it all starts with audacity. Now, if you are curious to learn my four step process, come to the training on October 24th. It's running from 12 to one Eastern, that's 11 o'clock central and there's going to be a replay. So, even if you can't make it, it's a $40 investment. Why did I price it so low? I've had a ton of people in my DMs already saying that it should be worth a lot more and yeah, it should. But I want as many people as possible to be there, because my mission is to give women the tools they need to build sustainable BS free businesses that allow them true freedom, true autonomy and financial security and audacity is the first fucking step.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Now, full disclosure. Yes, I'm absolutely going to talk to you about how to work with me one on one, but I'm not going to pitch slap you. If you've made it to this episode, you know that that's not how I roll. It is going to be a training that is heavy on training and if you're aligned, you can stick around for the last five minutes to learn about how to work with me one on one. This is not going to be one of those trainings where, for 40 minutes, I talk about myself and my programs and my story and give you five minutes of semi valuable information.

Speaker 1: 18:28

No, you're going to get the whole framework and you can implement it on your own or you can work with me to do it. It's entirely up to you. There's no hard sell, but you're not going to know how valuable it is unless you're here. And, honestly, what have you got to lose? Well, if you continue doing what you've always done. You're going to continue to get the results you've always gotten.

Speaker 1: 18:47

And if you've been in business for one or more years and you feel like you haven't grown the way you wanted yet you've invested in coaching and training and certifications and you're still stuck then you need to try this.

Speaker 1: 18:58

The link is in the show notes and I'm hoping to see you there. And if you aren't sure yet or you're like fuck this, just want to go straight to working with you, hop into my DMs, because 2024 needs to be the year you prioritize action. Honestly, you have no idea how critical that is going to be, and you know me, I'm not about that BS life, so I'm not blowing smoke up your butt because I know you can have success without the BS. I will talk to you soon. That's it for this week. Thanks for listening to the Business Blast for Me podcast. We'll be back next week with a new episode, but in the meantime, help us to stir out by subscribing and, if you're feeling extra sassy rating this podcast, and don't forget to share the podcast with others. Head over to businessblasphemypodcast. com to connect with us and learn more. Thanks for listening and remember you can have success without the BS.