Revolution in Relationships: Faith and Spiritual Boundaries Unveiled

Are you ready to revolutionize your dating life? We're about to turn conventional dating advice on its head by discussing a boundary that's often overlooked - spiritual intimacy. Join us as we explore the recent trend of crossing spiritual boundaries before marriage, and why this can be detrimental to your relationships. We'll share insights on growing spiritually with your partner, ideas like attending church together, participating in group activities, and much more. Far from the usual, we'll redefine dating as an interview for a lifelong commitment.

Venturing further, we'll also delve into the concept of faith in relationships. Trust in God's perfect will when it comes to finding love - it might sound daunting, but we've got you covered! We'll share some personal stories about our own journeys from being single to finding a fulfilling marriage and family life. We'll round off the discussion by emphasizing the importance of maintaining boundaries and taking the dating phase seriously. Whether you're single, dating, or married, we believe this episode could be a game-changer for you.

Don't forget to share this episode if it resonates with you!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Good morning, good morning, good morning, hope you're doing amazing. I just wanted to pop in here and just one see how y'all doing and two, deliver this message. I've been doing a lot of dating coaching and dating classes and I know it's been a minute since I've jumped on here, so I want to apologize for that, but life has just been super crazy. But I haven't forgotten about y'all. I've been praying over y'all as you're on this dating journey and I just wanted to send this message because I keep seeing a trend. It's almost like in the dating arena and we're just gonna hop right into it. Okay, y'all, because this is a hot one off the press, okay. And so it's almost like when I'm talking to younger couples or just women that's interested in dating and wanting to know okay, is this the one? What am I supposed to be doing? What's the next steps?

Speaker 1: 0:52

I'm seeing a trend that I believe is non biblical. You may be like what are you talking about? What I'm seeing happening a whole lot is that we're. We have a lot of women and young men whom it may appear that they're doing a good thing, like what I'm about to say. You're gonna be like I don't know about that, but I want you to hear me out. I want you to go pray, I want you to go seek the Lord and I want you to just really really think on this, because I'm what I'm about to say is not popular opinion, but I just believe in strong boundaries in dating, especially if one is you don't know that's your spouse, you don't know. I mean because we as women, we don't honestly really know. We only can accept the invitation. The pursuit and the pop in a big question is up to the man that we allow to pursue us. Our job is strictly to accept the invitation or decline the invitation. Okay, and so I'm constantly seeing this trend of young ladies and young men spending way too much intimate, spiritual, intimate time together, meaning they're getting together, they're opening a Bible up, they're diving into these deep thoughts, deep conversations, they're sharing. All this intimate stuff is stuff that may not appear to be like a boundary being crossed and may not. It may appear to be innocent. You may be like well, faye, we just spent a time with God together, like what's the big deal? The big deal is spiritual intimacy is far more deeper than physical intimacy. In my opinion, there are things you can do to grow spiritually together. You can go to corporate worship together, you can go to the same church together, you can do connect small groups together. There's so many things you can do together.

Speaker 1: 2:45

But I finally believe that you must have a boundary in your quiet time with the Lord and you should not be doing this with someone who's not your spouse, with someone who's not y'all, not in a covenant, committed relationship. And I'm not talking about y'all just dating. I'm talking about when we get married. That's when we cross that line. I see that happen so often and I get a lot of kickback and feel free to kick back with me y'all. I love a good dialogue and then like a good dialogue. But I finally believe that we as women, we desire so much in a Christian relationship to be led spiritually and we put that out there so much. He got to be spiritually strong, he got to be strong man. I got. That's very, very important.

Speaker 1: 3:32

But sometimes I believe, when you start crossing this spiritual boundary because this is eternal, this is not something just physical, emotional or mental. This is eternal You're stepping off into something that's way deeper and you find yourself getting hooked, getting caught up in a relationship that could very well not be yours. You find yourself starting to just make up things in your mind oh my God, look at him, he's leading so well. You find yourself not paying attention and skipping over the interview phase. When you're dating, that is an interview, that is the biggest interview of your life, and a lot of times we try to go from step one to step 12, and that happens most often when we started to.

Speaker 1: 4:17

You know, commit fornication, we have sex with the person. Or you do an emotional fornication when you're bonding in a way you shouldn't bond with this person. Or when you're spending too much quiet, one to one, time, in the word, with a man who's not your leader, who's not your head, who's not your covering. I finally believe now you can argue with me. I want you to go talk to the Lord. You know I'm all about that life. I need you to go spend time with Jesus, see what Jesus has to say to you and you make the decision for your life. So do your thing if you want to keep doing it, but I will caution you.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Be careful. Be careful crossing spiritual boundaries in a dating relationship. It's going to blow up in your face. I've seen it happen so many times and not to say it's going to happen a hundred percent of the times, because sometimes you may just get lucky. He may just be a really good guy and even though you skipped a lot of stuff or you cross a few boundaries, he may still pan out to be a really really diligent guy, really really golly man. But a lot of times you can get played that way too, because what if this is a man who's just really good and he's read his Bible a lot, but he ain't really got no intimacy? He ain't really. He ain't really about that life for real? He really don't know a lot of same things that he claimed to know, but he's regurgitating what he's learned from YouTube or whoever he's listening to, and he's talking to you real good, he's breaking the Bible up. You are, oh my God, I'm understanding everything. Now, faye, he's showing me all this stuff in the Word of God. This is truly a man of God. Your discernment has just been shut off because now you are infatuated with his quote, unquote authority of the word or his knowledge of the word when you need to be discerning.

Speaker 1: 6:05

This is why I personally believe cross the next bridge of boundary. We can go to church together. We can sing songs together, we can kick it with other Christian groups together, we can do discipleship amongst community together, but that one-to-one intimacy with someone who's not your spouse, I believe that is a strong boundary that needs to be set. You all, one-to-one time, crying out to the Lord Now, uh, that's deeper than sex y'all. That's eternal. That's a time for you and the father. I did not allow my husband now To come up in there when I was doing my, my quiet time with my. My god, okay, when we were dating, that was a big no-no because I knew that is Jamie said the right thing, or he, if he, you know, quarter through our scripture is good enough, or he. You know how we can be. Sometimes knowledge puffs up. That's in the scripture, right? Knowledge puffs up and we, as women, we can fall for that. We could be like, oh my god, you know the word.

Speaker 1: 7:04

And you start to relax those boundaries, you start to not think clearly, you start to try to Suddenly skip steps. You don't need to be skipping and dating. I want to challenge you. Don't do that. Set a boundary, keep the boundaries in place. Stop playing with your dating game, dating life Stop. Stop. This is not a joke. Y'all like dating. Yes, it's fun, dating is so much fun and I want you to have a good time. I want you just to have a good time. But a lot of times when we skip, skip steps and and cross boundaries, we find ourselves in spaces we should not be and that's what makes dating very weird. And I don't know about you, but I hate to be in weird spaces. I hate when it gets very weird and you're not sure. And now you got these questions, all this ambiguity in the relationship. It's just too much. It just makes it so stressful and I don't believe that's the intention of dating.

Speaker 1: 8:02

The intention of dating is to see if this is a person that you can do life with, and that's not something you should take lightly. That's not something you should rush into. That's not something you should play with. You need to be like on pins and needles, piece and cues, baby. You need to have eyes wide open, ears wide open, baby. We watching, we looking, we checking for everything, because this, yes, is covenant. And I don't want any of y'all to marry Someone who's not your spouse, someone who's unequally yoke, someone who's God permissive will, not, has perfect will for your life, but I want you to, like I always say go read your Bible, go get with the Holy Spirit, give a God yourself. You need to be talking to the Lord when you're dating. Do not get your, get yourself into isolation. Make sure you stay accountable to a community of people and not just people who tell you what you want to hear. Get around people who can see stuff and who can discern things and you listen to them. Okay, I just firmly want to talk. Talk about that for a second, because that's something y'all I'm seeing a lot of.

Speaker 1: 9:08

And after a person's been together for a year, maybe two years, they spent all this one-to-one intimate time together and now they're so intertwined together Spiritually that everything that a pastor say or everything that they see at church after this person Not doesn't work out, the relationship, kind of, you know, falls apart. I'm seeing ladies be like, oh my god, they reminds me of him. Oh my god. We had this really deep conversation. I just told him about how God brought me through this right here and it appears to be innocent y'all, but there's been, like you know, I don't know if you heard about sex ties, but I feel like there's, it's the soul type thing. Go a little bit deeper, if Not washed, okay. And so I'm seeing women, I'm helping them get un Unyoked from relationships they shouldn't even a part of, and I'm seeing them. They not. They like failure having sex.

Speaker 1: 10:01

But we're doing all this other other intimate stuff together and we are emotional, quick creatures, okay, y'all. As a woman, you are an emotional person, emotional creature. Okay, the Lord gave us feelings and we feel deep and we feel alone. And so this is why I put up very, very strong boundaries, because, y'all, I've been there. I've been there where I fell in love too quick or I jumped the gun too quick.

Speaker 1: 10:29

Oh, I allowed this person to be in my one-to-one quiet time with Jesus space and we're breaking open the word and it seems like, oh my god, we're both on fire for Jesus and we're skipping steps. We're not asking the right questions, because now my mind is becoming infatuated, my heart is being flooded with love and I'm all I'm seeing is this gotta be my husband? This got to be him. If he can quote that whole verse and scripture right there, that whole passage. This got to be my man, right here.

Speaker 1: 10:57

But I'm not checking from if I'm not watching and being watchful and being, you know, I'm not being diligent. You got to be diligent and dating this is not something to play with, okay, so stop playing with it. Stop. Stop fruitfruing around and acting like this is not a big deal. It is a big deal. Stop taking the mentality of the world into the church. As we're trying to find our spouses, my heart and my goal for you is that you will get married to the love of your life. Who will lead you, who will guide you, who will help you become the woman you're supposed to become by being a faithful covering, by being a lover of Jesus, by truly being a man he's supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 11:40

But if you're skipping steps, crossing boundaries and not you ain't got no type of checkpoints up, but you could potentially find yourself in situations should not be. You could find yourself doing stuff you said you would never do. And I'm talking to you from experience. I'm not talking just at the side of my neck right now. Y'all, I'm literally. I'm not, I'm not. I'm not just throwing stuff in the air. You know. I'm trying to warn you. So let's just be mindful. Continue to go to church. You can go to church with your boyfriend. You can go. You can go kick it in the community connect group. I mean, it's so many other things you can do to see where you're spiritually.

Speaker 1: 12:16

I just firmly believe there has to be a line in the sand when it comes to your intimate one-to-one quiet time with your husband or with someone you're just dating. You see, I don't. I don't take my quiet time with Jesus lightly. That is a time I'm with my father, y'all that's eternal. This is an eternal relationship that I am growing intentionally and I'm not about to just allow no random person I'm just dating to come in there. No, that's not going to happen.

Speaker 1: 12:51

I don't care, and I know some of y'all may kick back. I get so many people who kick back. Feel free to kick back. I love open dialogue. I love. I would love to discuss this with you further. But yeah, I just want to drop this episode because I just thought it was something that needs to be talked about. It's something that needs to be addressed and I have a few more things that I want to talk about in later episodes. So thank y'all so much just for kicking it in me. Thank y'all so much for helping my podcast grow. If you're being encouraged, I just want to thank you personally. It means a lot to me.

Speaker 1: 13:21

I've actually done no ads or no intentional marketing of this podcast. It's strictly been organic, okay. I've done that just to kind of see, okay, who are my listeners? Will they find me organically? Will they rock with me? And y'all been rocking with your girl, and so I really do appreciate you, I appreciate you, I love you. Feel free to share this If you're being encouraged. Share it with your friends, share with people who in a dating market, just share it.

Speaker 1: 13:51

I just want people to know the truth behind dating, and I've got a lot more stuff coming out of pipe because I've been in my word, I've been with the Lord asking him okay, god, how do I help my brothers and sisters in Christ? Because I know I have guys who follow me too, but mostly my girls. You know my girls, I love y'all. How do I help them navigate these waters of dating and how, how do we do this? And so, if you're being encouraged, I just want you to share it. I want you to be looking out for things to are that are to come.

Speaker 1: 14:21

Also, just so y'all know, I'm having another baby. Yes, me and my husband. We are being very fruitful and we're multiplying, okay, and this would be baby number four. You know I was a single mom before I met him, and now God's to restore my life, giving me a beautiful marriage and a beautiful family. And you can have it too, boo. You just got to trust God's perfect will for your life. You have to trust and allow God to write your love story. You have to trust, and I want to share with you how my journey went, and so I love you all. Y'all take care.