As a Person whom struggled with sexual sin, I have felt the engulfing sense of guilt and shame that comes with it. It's a personal journey that I want to share, so that others can learn, heal, and move forward. In a candid discussion, we look into the realities of falling into sexual sin, the aftermath, and the importance of not isolating yourself in such situations. We delve into the weak nature of flesh and the perils of lacking accountability. It's a powerful narrative that anyone embroiled in sexual sin can relate to, and hopefully, draw valuable lessons from.
As a Person whom struggled with sexual sin, I have felt the engulfing sense of guilt and shame that comes with it. It's a personal journey that I want to share, so that others can learn, heal, and move forward. In a candid discussion, we look into the realities of falling into sexual sin, the aftermath, and the importance of not isolating yourself in such situations. We delve into the weak nature of flesh and the perils of lacking accountability. It's a powerful narrative that anyone embroiled in sexual sin can relate to, and hopefully, draw valuable lessons from.
Hello, hello, hello, hello. How are you doing? I just wanted to pop on here really quick and to show you all some love. I've been able to have a lot of different conversations about waiting and dating and it's been just such a blessing just to be able to speak into this you know this world and into the dating scene and just help believers navigate these waters. And so I was able to talk to a really great guy like he's super great, he follows this podcast and I won't say his name for privacy purposes, but he was just really really vulnerable and open and was like hey, I listen to the podcast and say I really do appreciate you for all that you're doing and it's just really been encouraging him, and so that just really blessed my heart. And so thank you so much for everybody who takes your time to listen to this podcast and who enjoys it and learn from it. And so, if that's you just know, I appreciate you, I thank you, I love you.
Speaker 1:But today we're going to hop into what happens if you fall. What happens if you fall into sexual sin and my straight up what happens if I have sex with my boyfriend? What happens if I have sex Like? What happens if we go too far? That happens a lot, and I've lately been seeing that pop up quite a bit, where I see couples that are just passionate about each other and, although they are trying so hard to, you know, not fall into those sexual traps, because the chemistry and the passion is so strong it makes it very hard for them and so sometimes you fall. I fell, and you all know my story. I fell into sexual sin and then your girl just waddled in it. I was like, well, we didn't did it. So I guess we hear now I ended up having a baby out of wetlock. I ended up ruining my life almost, and it wasn't for God redeeming my life, for redeeming me. There's no telling where I will be, and so I want to address that today. What happens if you fall? What happens if you, you do too much and you all get a little bit too touchy-filly and you all cross boundaries, both sexually, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? What do you do? Number one I want you to reject the.
Speaker 1:The automatic response we usually have when we fall into sexual sin is we want to run and hide. No, no, no, no, that's the worst thing you can do. Okay, that is what Abraham, not Abraham Adam and Eve did. When they, you know, bit from the forbidden fruit, the first thing they did was run and hide. No, you don't want to repeat that cycle, you want to run to God. It's just like my little babies. I have a three-year-old, a two-year-old, one-year-old, and when they poop in their pull-up they poop in their little underwear or mess up big time. They don't run for me, they run to me because they know I can fix it and the mommy can make it better. And so, even when they know they're in trouble, they still run to me. Why is that that? Children know run to mommy if I need help.
Speaker 1:But us, as adults, us that love Jesus, us that call ourselves believers and we say he is love and he is this, we run away from him. A shame, out of guilt, out of all kind of mess. We, we run away. I want to challenge you do not run away if you fall. Oh, resist that temptation to run away, because when you run away, number one, you're gonna find yourself drifting away from God, because then you're gonna feel guilty oh man, I haven't prayed. Oh man, have a red scripture. Oh man, now I'm in isolation. Oh, now you're gonna be just almost like consumed by that thing.
Speaker 1:And when I felt this actual sin, I ran away, I went into hiding and it was just me and my boyfriend and Although it appeared to be the most safe and most comfortable thing to do, it wasn't y'all. It was dangerous. It was very, very not good. Because then I was like, well, we already had sex once, so I might do it again. I wasn't talking to God, I wasn't talking to my community, I wasn't talking to my friends. It was just me on an island. And I remember, y'all, when I first fell into sexual sin with him, I was trying so hard to walk up right, but I loved him and I had this passion for him. Chemistry was literally undeniable and I it was almost like I couldn't resist him.
Speaker 1:And I remember Just, I'm gonna be real right now, and this may trigger some of you guys, but this podcast is about being honest and being real and not just giving you some churchy, churchy, you know, answer. I'm gonna give you tactics, I'm gonna give you raw, real so that you can take my story and use it to better your life, if, if the Lord have you do that. So I remember just those days when I when is isolation, and it was just me and him. I Like stop talking to my friends. I stopped going to church. I stopped because I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, I was guilty, I knew I had fallen, I knew I have fallen. I couldn't get up because I didn't want to get up. To be honest, I only has somebody that I thought loved me, someone that I thought really you know would be there for me for life. I thought, you know, we'll make this right because we'll go get married and make it all better.
Speaker 1:And so I made every excuse as to why I needed to stay in a relationship and I need to fight for that relationship. And I remember us. We did it again Because once you fall into the sexual sin, it's so hard to get up, it's so hard to resist that flesh and isolation for sure. And when you add no accountability, you'll flesh already weak and you already feel guilty. Most times you're gonna do it again.
Speaker 1:And so I was in that space and I remember us following the end and eventually I began just to waddle in it and make excuses. Well, it is what it is. I'm just gonna this where we at we're gonna get married one day. We're just not gonna rush. I have every excuse, everything excuse in the book. Everybody's doing it. There are, you name it.
Speaker 1:I had excuse for it, why I was in a situation totally out of order with the king and Totally not talking to Jesus, and I remember just laying there, y'all crying. I remember one time, after having intimacy with my boyfriend, I Layed on the floor on his own the bathroom floor Curled up, crying, feeling guilty, feeling shame, feeling nasty, feeling like, oh my god, I Don't know how God can ever love me because I Don't know how to get out of this and I don't want to get out of this, and just feeling guilty on every thought. So this is why you need to resist the urge to go into isolation, resist the urge to flee, resistive with everything in you. I want, if you fall into sexual sin, you need to have a friend that you can talk to, a friend that you trust, or Someone you can go to and be honest and be vocal and be vulnerable and tell the truth, because the truth will set and make you free.
Speaker 1:Jesus said that in his word, and so you hide in it and stuff in it. It's gonna become cancerous to your spirit, it's gonna kill it. Start to eat away and kill, ultimately, your relationship and you'll walk with Jesus. Yes, nothing can separate you from Jesus, but you, you can choose, using your will, to walk away from the father. There's no such thing as one save, always save. You have to work out your salvation, with fear and trembling, and when you're not working not saying that you know you got to work for your salvation.
Speaker 1:But if you're not pursuing a relationship with Jesus, if you're not whole Harley, desiring the things of God, and even when you fall you quick to repent and get it together, you are in drift. And that's the biggest threat for a believer being in drift. When you're drifting away, you begin to feel numb. Um, like that shame turns into numbness, that embarrassment turns into numbness. And then next time we see you, you sound different, you look different, you act different or, like me, you pregnant, and so don't run. See the accountability.
Speaker 1:Number two, if you fall into sexual sin, I First know believe now always tell you how this. Don't take my word, take his word. So I want you to take what I'm saying and take it to the father and ask him what he had you do. What I want you to do, I want you to go and ask the Lord Lord, do I cut this off? I Think it needs to be cut down immediately. If I would have cut their relationship Before I got way too deep, even after we first fell intellectual sin, my life could be completely different. I'm not even kidding One. I would avoid it.
Speaker 1:The consequence of becoming a single mother and the consequence of becoming a single mother is not the child, it's all the emotional and mental and All the burdens that's gonna hit you. It's not your baby. Your baby's gonna be the peaceful part of it. It's gonna be that person that you thought was everything turned into almost like your worst enemy. It's gonna be. Now you're responsible for another human, now you give up all your freedoms. Now you figure out, man, I didn't know much about life at all. How am I gonna take care of me and this kid? Or you can get pregnant with twins, or you can come with what worse STDs, I can just name it all. It can cost you so much, and so I finally believe the relationship needs to be cut off, because it's really hard to restore something.
Speaker 1:That is almost like cooking a cake, baking a cake. Yeah, I've probably heard this before. I'm not sure who told me this, but I appreciate them for it. If I knew who told me this, I would tell you guys so you can go and go and tell them what's up. But it's like making a cake and a little bit of baby poop following the cake batter. Would you still eat that cake? Would you say, oh man, it's just a little poop, I'll scoop it out, it'll still be a good cake. No, you would not. You would throw out the entire batch and you would start over.
Speaker 1:Now I'm not saying that we treat people like they're nothing, because that person that you just had sex with they're made the image of living God and the Lord loves them. But you need to guard your heart All dealings. I mean you need to be 10 toes down, ready to do and cut off whatever you have to cut off, just like the word of God says you know, it don't matter if you have to enter into kingdom of heaven. Well, one eye, one arm, one leg, cut it off. If it's separating you from the Lord, if it's pulling on your heart, cut it off. Because I rather enter the kingdom of heaven looking like a Mangle and, just, you know, crippled person in the spirit. Then, to you know, sacrifice my walk with Jesus because I refuse to put down sin. And also on that, I want to ask you how I find this person? I get man who's men listen to this too.
Speaker 1:So you gotta ask yourself is this person hellfire because you can't actively participate in sin willingly, instead of be like, oh I'm a Christian, oh I'm this, oh I'm that, oh I'm that. You can't call yourself a sold out believer if you compromise in an area. God calls us to be holy because he is holy. He calls us to be blameless, and so if you are literally like perpetually you live in a sin, it's not like you slipped up, it's like you living in it. Like I'm gonna question your salvation, I'm gonna question your heart for the King. There's a lot of people who identify as Christians but they're really not. They're cultural Christians. They're not sold out believers willing to do anything for the King.
Speaker 1:And so I want you to consider severing this relationship completely, cutting it off. No matter the pain, no matter her heart, no matter how much you have to cry, it doesn't matter. I believe you need to cut it off. So, number two number one accountability. Number two cut it off. Number three forgive yourself.
Speaker 1:If you don't forgive yourself. You will find yourself stuck in that place of guilt, shame and condemnation. And God said in his word therefore, now there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and so you need to forgive yourself. You need to forgive yourself and release yourself. Yes, you fell. Yes, it was pretty bad fall. Yes, part of you really liked it too. Yes, all of that's true.
Speaker 1:But guess what Jesus said? If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive. So if he can forgive you, you need to forgive yourself. And then, after that, you need to take a minute, and now take nobody else. You need to be by yourself, get by yourself and figure out why and what did I do to find myself in such a predicament.
Speaker 1:And in that place is where you seek God. In that place is where you start to ask God, what's my purpose? And God, how can I date in a biblical way? And so those are the four things I wanna encourage you to do if you fall into sexual sin, and a bonus is I want you to you know, I want you to watch what you're watching. You gotta be careful about your ear gates and your eye gates, meaning what you see and what you hear. What movies are you watching? What does your social media look like Like? You gotta be very mindful of that. There's the sexual culture that we're living in. Everything is hyper sexual.
Speaker 1:And so the number five, the bonus, is, when you're dealing with you fall into sexual sin. You have to begin to crucify that flesh, because at that point it's gonna be very hard to you know, bounce back from that and recover from that. So you gotta do whatever is necessary, and I think you need to. Number one watch what you're watching, watch what you're listening to, watch who you're hanging out with, and you really into pursue holiness. And so thank y'all so much for your time. I love you, be encouraged if you've fallen. If you've fallen, there's no need to be ashamed, it's no need to be embarrassed. You need to repent, you need to get up, need to make some decisions. Miss moment for it.
Speaker 1:So I want to end this, this episode, with a prayer, because I think it's so vital that we really deal with this, because there's a lot of believers that are secretly hurting and I feel like they don't really have a safe space. They can talk and be honest and be like hey, I've fallen and I don't know what to do, and so I want to create that space for you feel like man. I can come to this community and I can find refuge and I can find Space to speak on my truth, and not that we're just creating a space for just to throw anything out there. It's gonna be Christ in the center, it's gonna be biblical, it's gonna be strong, but you're gonna be able to tell you, to tell what's happening with you, but you'll be challenged and held accountable at the same time. And so let's pray.
Speaker 1:Father, god, name of Jesus, I Come before you now with my beautiful sister, brother and I. Actually, lord, just to touch them right now, in the mighty name of Jesus. Actually, lord, just begin to heal their hearts, god, I ask you, god, just to help them, god, help them get up, help them know they can turn from the wicked ways and they can choose you, lord, god, actually just to restore to them the joy of desolation. Lord, I come against the spirit of guilt and shame and depression and anxiety. In the name of Jesus, come against fear and thinking that if they choose you over this person, they'll never find anybody else. I come against shame that will tell them I've fallen, I'm too far from God. I rebuke that in their body in the name of Jesus and God.
Speaker 1:I thank you that you're raising them up to be a godly individual, to have and hold and hold up a godly family in this world, god. Thank you, lord, that you're calling them back to that yourself and you're gonna make them into the woman or man of God. You called them to be in the name of Jesus, and so I pray for their hearts, I pray for their minds, I Pray for their their walk with you, god. Give them a hunger and thirst For you, lord. Allow them to long for you like a dear pending for water. Lord, allow them to begin to long to be in their secret place. And once they get to that secret place, lord, I ask you, god just will blow their minds. Give them a revelation, allow them to fill your presence like never before. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray a man. Well, sister, girl, brother, man, I love you. I love you so much, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:If you haven't told someone that you've fallen and you just been living in isolation and Battle and wit. Should I stay? Should I go? What should I do? I encourage you go to your pastor, go to your local Church. Go to your mentor, go to your spiritual mother or father. Find someone you can talk to and be real about this and Ask them to hold you accountable. And when you ask them to hold you accountable, I need for you to be woman that you're wearing now, they're gonna hold you accountable. I mean, you gotta tell the truth. So I love you, I am praying for you. You got this. Take care.