READY TO DATE HUH? 🤔 Cultivate a Richer Life Before the Plus One

Ever felt like the ticking of your internal clock is more like a time bomb when it comes to finding love? Well, it's time to defuse it. This heartwarming episode is your guide to releasing the pressure and embracing the solo journey with joy and trust in a higher power. Whether you're sipping tea or a glass of wine, join me as we chat about the beauty of life without the 'plus one' and how to prepare for romance by focusing on personal growth, community, and good old laughter. And why not sprinkle in a little adventure? That's right, we're also discussing the transformative power of travel to refresh your spirit and maybe, just maybe, cross paths with someone special when you least expect it.

Now, it's not all about waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to come along. Let's talk about the here and now—how to be the best friend, the best community member, and the best version of yourself. We'll explore the idea that your single season could be a tailor-made period for self-discovery and laying the groundwork for lasting companionship. Plus, I'll share why the friendships you nurture today are the secret ingredients to a healthy relationship tomorrow. 

So, slip into something comfortable, grab that passport (you'll find out why), and get ready for an episode that just might change the way you view your single status.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Okay, okay, okay, hey, girl, hey, how's it going? So this episode here is for the people who like faith. What can I do in this new upcoming year to prepare myself to date? That's such a great question, such a great question and that can go many different ways. But what I want to kind of hone in on first is I believe the number one step you should take in preparing yourself to date prepare yourself to meet the man of your dreams, or you know, that person you've been praying about to prepare yourself is to one.

Speaker 1: 0:34

I want you to release all those expectations you know, release the clock, release the countdown. I want you to consider this for me, consider just totally getting rid of all expectations, totally getting rid of that time clock that's beating in your head and you've seen all your friends get married, you've seen everyone else get their dream guy and you're feeling like you're left out. I want you to relinquish that. Give God control of that, okay. And once you do that, I want you to go and look up a place to travel. Okay, within the first quarter of 2024, or the summer I'll give you to the summer I want you to go travel. I want you to go and live, go and have some fun. Get your mind completely off of where's my man, where's my spouse?

Speaker 1: 1:25

Okay, because when you start, whatever you chase runs from you. Did you hear me? When you chase something, it usually runs from you. You have to learn how to become the person that can have that. Can, you know, draw in, or the Lord, the Lord here allow it to come in his time, but you can't be like a hound dog trying to chase it. You have to learn how to chill. You have to like I don't know if you ever heard of this before, but I've always seen that anything that you want like really, really, really bad and you're like so thirsty for, you're so like I got to have it right now Usually it runs from you. Usually you are not going to attract that thing, you're going to repel it, and so I want you to relinquish that. Cast all your cares on the Lord, because he cares for you. He gave you that desire to date. He understand how you feel, he understand what you've been through, he understand all that, and so what you got to do is you have to trust that he got you, because most of the time, most of us, if we just be real, we say, god, I trust you, you're going to bring me a spouse, and we go right and go try to find him on our own, or we go go try to fix it and fulfill it on our own. Stop trying to fulfill your promises that God's giving you, that God's giving you on your life by yourself. Stop trying to do that and just fully trust him.

Speaker 1: 2:45

And I know it's so scary. I've been there where I felt like no one would ever want me, when I felt, like man, like why am I always the one by myself? It seems like everybody else around me always has somebody, always, always can get a man, but I can't get nobody. No one wants me. If you feel that way, I want to. I want to charge you to change your perspective.

Speaker 1: 3:09

Maybe you're in a season of hiding because God wants to do something in you. Maybe you're in a season, in a wilderness season where you've been tested and tried and built for that future husband and you need to be prostrating your heart now to receive what God has in store for you, meaning releasing that expectation, releasing that control to you, want it done when you want it done, fully surrendering over to the Lord. That's number one. Number two. What I want you to do is I want you to go travel somewhere. Get with your girlfriends, give it your friends and y'all live it up. Okay, Learn how to live, learn how to smile, learn how to be within community, learn how to be accountable within that community. Learn how to be a good friend, because when you get married, you're going to need that. You're going to need that tool of knowing how to cultivate a friendship, because a lot of y'all if I speak honest you just want to get married, you want to have sex, you just want somebody to live with. You don't have to be about yourself, you don't have to be alone, you just want a companionship. You're not even looking at what it really takes to be your wife, what sacrifice is going to come with, and so you need to enjoy your singleness while you have it hunting, because, I'm telling you, the grass ain't always greener on the other side. So you need to learn how to enjoy that time, how to cultivate real friendships. A lot of times when we'd be in friendships, we'd be in hiding. Come out of hiding with your friends, tell them the truth about what's going on with your life and you go from there. Okay, and so those that. That's the third step.

Speaker 1: 4:40

The fourth thing I want to do is get cute, girl. What do you like to wear? What do you want to look like? Who do you see yourself being? You can be a fashionista. Get your hair done, get your nails done, get your makeup. Did you can? I want you to really look the part. Understand we, we. You gotta be able to look good, because when you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, you're able to become and be that person God's calling you to be.

Speaker 1: 5:08

If you're just waking up, rolling out of bed, got your hair in a messy bun, or your eyes got the little eye boogers a little crust, the stuff being your eyes in the morning times, if you're doing that, if you're going out and that's how you portray yourself, of course you're going to propel every man, every possible suitor. And so, just like I always tell people, you have to be, you know, responsibly. Shallow Meaning don't be talking about your husband can be ugly to you and you'll be fine with it. No, you need to be real about it. Be real about what you want. You want someone who's attractive right. Therefore, you need to be attractive. You need to go and fix yourself up. You can walk around, be there and understand. We'd be depressed sometimes, we'd be sad, we'd be going through it. But you got to understand like you got to try.

Speaker 1: 5:54

A lot of us have given up. We've given up because life can get so hard going through this life. Life is so, so hard. Christian dating can be so hard. It can be a pain in the neck and you feel like, oh my God, if I have to go on one more date, if I have to hear it's not me, it's not you, it's me. If I got to deal with all this craziness, I'm just done. I understand it can get very hard, but that don't mean you give up. You can't give up. You got to go fix yourself up. You got to fix yourself up emotionally. You got to fix yourself up mentally, meaning take yourself in to see a therapist. Go get the treatment that you need to get past that trauma. Because if you don't get past that trauma in your singleness, guess what's coming up in your marriage? That same thing. You refuse to give up. So go handle it, go deal with it, go get it done.

Speaker 1: 6:42

And so once you do that right there, I want you to begin as guys as suitors start to like, approach you and ask you don't get weird, understand, stay cool. Stay chill. Don't start all that cooking and cleaning and all that right there trying to impress him. Relax yourself when God starts to approach you in 2024, be cool, be chill, enjoy the moment, meaning, go and have fun. Don't be thinking about all when we get married, all when we have our kids, baby y'all just on a date. Go to the little coffee date or wherever y'all going, and just enjoy the moment. Don't talk too much, don't be doing too much of nothing, okay, just learn to relax, have fun and enjoy yourself. That's why it's so important to learn how to be friends with your friends, because you're going to need this. Being a friend is a skill that most people don't have, so you need to learn how to be a friend so that, when the opportunity presents itself and there's a God that likes you and you may like him, you can learn how to engage on a friendship level without trying to take it to marriage, take it down to altar, like, relax yourself, take a breath, get cute, have fun.

Speaker 1: 8:00

And while we hear I don't want to hear nobody else. I don't want to hear no one else Send me an email voice note. However, you've been reaching me. I don't want to hear you telling me that God told you that was your husband. Lead that in 2023,. Okay, if the man ain't pursuing you, if he haven't asked you, hey, I'm interested in you. Can I take you on a date? Lead that mess right here. Let it die right here, because you sound crazy, you sound weird and you sound like no one wants to be with you.

Speaker 1: 8:31

Okay, I'm telling you here, right now, if you go tell a man of God, a true man of God God said you my husband you begin to act real stalkerish. You begin to act, start acting weird, start making our friendship into something that it's not. I'm telling you right now there's no man of God's going to want to be with you, and even if he does want to be with you, guess what you're going to do? You're going to repel him, you're going to run him away because you're doing too much, and so what I want you to do is chill, enjoy the moment, and I also want you to prepare to get my new book that's dropping. I'm going to write this book. I'm going to do an ebook first and I'm going to do a real hard copy book and a worksheet, because some of y'all need to do talks.

Speaker 1: 9:10

If you've been a habitual, like crazy dater, you go from one little friendship to a situation ship to you dating one man out of the next. You need a 98 detox. You need to fast from dating and that's what we're going to do this year. Okay, in 2024, some of us need to detox. We need to detox our hearts, detox our minds, detox our soul. That's what they soul ties. And so these are steps you need to take to get prepared to date, to prepare your heart, prepare the way for a groom to be to come in your life.

Speaker 1: 9:43

And so I want y'all to stay encouraged. I want you to remember who you are, who you are. I want you to not compromise ever. I want you to understand that God is with you and if he is with you, who can be against you? No one. You are enough. Do you hear me?

Speaker 1: 10:02

I just felt led to say that to someone. You are enough, who you are is enough. You don't need all that extra stuff. You don't need to go in and try to bleach your skin or try to fix your body with surgery or try to do anything other than what God has already made you to be. You are enough. You don't have to overcompensate. You are enough for the mate that God has for you. You are enough and he's looking for you. Understand you are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are made in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, you are enough, and so I just felt like somebody to hear that today. So I want to just encourage you Hold your head up.

Speaker 1: 10:46

Hold your head up in trust. The Lord is for you. He has you and he knows you and he sees you. He sees you at night when you're crying and you're upset because your friend just got engaged and you're so happy for her. But you're like God. What about me? God sees that and his heart is like I know it's coming. Just be patient. I want to encourage you Continue to be patient. Continue to just put your trust in your hope in him and do not compromise. I love you all so much. You all are amazing. I cannot wait for this new year. It's going to be real popping. Can I wait to meet some of you guys too? We're going to start doing meetups. It's going to be so amazing. But you all take care. Thank you again for all the support in 2023. I cannot wait to take this podcast to a new level. Y'all have an amazing evening. Love y'all.