Unveiling True Beauty: The Path to Recognizing Our God-Given Value

Have you ever gazed into the mirror, your reflection staring back, and felt an overwhelming sense of unworthiness? This episode is a heart-to-heart on a topic that many of us shy away from discussing openly – our self-worth and identity in the eyes of ourselves, our potential partners, and our Creator. I'm back from a short break, feeling more connected than ever, ready to share the raw and real struggles that have been brought to my attention. You've reached out, shared your stories, and it's clear we're all grappling with feeling like we're not enough, whether it's questioning our beauty, capabilities, or worthiness as godly spouses.

Allow me to guide you through a personal journey where I reveal my own battle with insecurity and how it threatened to overshadow my relationships and self-perception. This conversation isn't just about me; it's about all of us and the journey to self-love and discovering our true identity in Christ – separate from the affirmations of others. We'll explore how a lack of self-awareness can spell danger for our future marriages and family life, and why it's crucial to address these insecurities head-on. I'm also excited to announce the upcoming launch of my YouTube channel, where we'll continue these vital discussions. This episode is not just a call to introspection but a beacon of hope, empowering you to confront and conquer your doubts and step into your beautiful future with confidence.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, hello. How's it going? I am back today. I miss y'all so much I had to take a break just to have my still checking the emails, checking the people who reaching out for different help. And something I've noticed that's kind of got me a little scared is a lot of you guys don't feel worthy, don't feel enough. You doubt your beauty, you doubt your capabilities, you doubt your capacity to actually become a godly wife, to actually be seen by a spouse. You don't even think you're pretty, you don't even think anyone's checking for you.

Speaker 1: 0:49

Yes, it's easy to smile in public and put your face on your makeup, on all that good stuff like that, but what I'm realizing is a lot of us don't know self-love, don't know our identity in Christ, we don't know who we are and we're looking for someone that's not. You know they ain't got no power over you, they can't do nothing for you, but we're looking for them to tell us who we are. We're supposed to get that from the Father, from Jesus. Our identity comes from Jesus, and we're looking for the identity, the validation for someone to say we're accepted, for someone to see us and that's all great and it definitely will come in Jesus name. We're going to keep believing for it. We're going to keep becoming the woman of God that God wants us to become. But what I'm realizing is you don't know who you are by yourself and you're thinking that a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband is going to change that. It's going to shift your identity. I'm here to tell you right now that if you don't deal with that insecurity, those insecurities, if you don't deal with those, if you don't put them in check, if you don't learn who you are irregardless if you have a spouse or not if you don't handle that baby, I'm here to tell you right now your marriage is going to magnify it. Your relationship with your significant other, your boyfriend or if you're a fiance or whatever that looks like, it's going to magnify those insecurities. You're going to self-sabotage and self-implode all over yourself, your spouse and your kids. You can literally shipwreck your entire future if you don't deal with this. But I keep on reading these emails, y'all, and if you got questions, feel free to reach out. I'm launching this YouTube channel, y'all. I cannot wait for y'all to see my face, me see y'all face. It's going to be great.

Speaker 1: 2:54

But I want to begin to deal with the heart behind the matter, which is the hardest I don't know who I am. I say I know whose I am, but I don't know who I am. See, when I was dating back in my day you know I'm a little older than y'all, most of y'all when I was dating back in my day, I remember loving my daughter's dad so much, oh, my God, y'all. This dude can do no wrong. I met him at church. We fell in love on our mission trip right A missions training trip and I just thought this was like everything I ever wanted, ever imagined, ever dreamed of guys and I thought this was it. I locked in my mind that's my husband. And a thing Nobody can tell me about this my life is about to be amazing. My man has finally come. Here we go, and so I begin to study him. I don't know about y'all, but if you, anybody like me, when we really like something, we're really into something, we really into it, we're really into something, we really into a baby, and we're going to study it, we're going to research it, we're going to know it back, front, side to side, we're going to know. Every little detail, every nook and cranny we're going to know. And so I legitimately went and studied him. I want to learn what does he like, what doesn't he like? I studied this man so much because I wanted to please him in every way. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to see that I was the wife he should choose. You see what I'm saying. I unintentionally which it was intentional what I was doing.

Speaker 1: 4:21

But I didn't realize at the time that I was beginning to make him an idol, when I was beginning to worship him in a way, when I was wanting everything to be perfect. I was wanting and there's nothing wrong with diligence, there's nothing wrong with, you know, being excellent in everything. But it becomes a problem when you begin to idolize. And I began to idolize him. I began to subconsciously try to be everything. I thought he wanted, every. I had to fulfill every gap. I thought he had Everything. I saw all those blind spots I saw here. I wanted to fill them, I wanted to make them right.

Speaker 1: 4:54

And then I remember the day I'm skipping over a lot here, but I'm making a point I remember the day when he looked up and didn't know who I was. He looked up. My daughter's dad looked up and he like, who is this woman? Who, who? Who did I? Who am I dating? Like three years goes by and he looks up and he's like who is she? Who are you? Y'all?

Speaker 1: 5:16

I had tried to become and try to fulfill him in every which way I could, because I loved him so much that I lost my own identity. Yes, I lost my own identity. I didn't know who I was, no more y'all. That's the crazy part. I was so busy trying to become everything I thought he needed me to be in order so he can pick me to be his wife that I became, essentially, I don't know what I want, because his identity was he didn't know what he want. Because his identity was he didn't know what he want. And so it was the blind leading the blind, confusion and delusion. Come together and have a baby and you got dysfunction, and so that was me.

Speaker 1: 5:52

And so if you don't know who you are, if you don't know whose you are, if you're not confident in the woman that you are and some of y'all like, well, I'm confident, faye, it's just it just seems like no one ever want me you still got doubt. You still doubt what God promised you. If you saying that God put it in your heart that you're going to be a spouse one day. You need to begin to hold to it Meaning. God, I thank you for the future spouse that you have for me. God, I thank you that you are making ways for me. God, I thank you that you are making me into the future spouse that my spouse needs to have.

Speaker 1: 6:21

You need to begin to pray and their decree and to call for everything that God's put inside of you, instead of sitting here doubting self-pity, not knowing who you are, judging and comparing yourself with everybody else and, at the end of the day, blaming someone else for where you are not. And so I just want to challenge you Do you know your identity? Do you know who you are? Do you know who you are? Are you cool? Ten toes down by yourself. If God never sends you a spouse, like where you at, I'm checking for you, knock, knock, I'm here when you at, sis. So I just want to challenge you Sit it down Before the Father Today, pull your journal out and you get before the Lord. And pull your journal out and you get before the Lord and you ask him God, reveal to me, reveal to me who I am. If I don't know who I am God.

Speaker 1: 7:09

I'm sorry for placing my identity in a relationship, in friendships, in my family. I'm sorry for placing my relationships in when I get married. I'm sorry for for for placing my identity in all these things and not in you. I'm sorry, lord. Help me, god, to see your love for me. Help me to encounter your love for me. God, show me your love for me. Show me who I am in you, irregardless if I have a spouse or not, because you are loved. You are beautiful and you are incredible and I love you. You take care, sis. Bye-bye.