Holiness Before Happiness: Navigating the Challenges of Christian Dating

THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON HOLINESS‼️ #Periodtttt 

The episode further unfolds the stark consequences of giving in to temptation, drawing from the story of wolves trapped by their appetites and the metaphor of a blood-stained sword. I open up about the heavy aftermath of choosing a partner hastily, including the challenging talks with my child about why her parents aren't together. It's a candid reminder of why it's vital to choose holiness over momentary pleasures. To all the women of faith listening, we offer a rallying cry for patience, personal growth, and the nurturing of community ties. With mentorship and the support found in fellowship with fellow believers, this episode is a testament to the strength that comes from perseverance in faith and patience on the journey to God's best for us.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello, hello, hello. How's it going Today? I just wanted to hop on here and just share with you guys what's been on my heart. I have had the opportunity to walk is for teenagers and young people, but I just wanted to pop in real quick and just challenge that.

Speaker 1: 0:37

Purity is for the believer. Doesn't matter if you are a 40-year-old virgin or a person who God's redeemed, like myself, who fell into sexual sin, got saved, got delivered from fornication and lust and now chooses a life of holiness. Purity is for the believer when you are wanting to be used by God. You are wanting to, you know, be on fire for Jesus, when you are completely giving lordship to the king, and as hard as that can be sometimes. I need for you to understand that sexual sin, no matter if it's masturbation, pornography, watching all type of crazy stuff, no matter what that thing looked like, homosexuality, no matter how perversion rears its ugly head in your life, it is foul and it is not supposed to be within the body of Christ. That's why I challenge people when it comes to kissing and dating and spending all this intimate time. Too much talk, talk, too much touch, too much togetherness. You setting yourself up for fornication and for sexual perversion. And I don't care how old you get, I don't care how long you have to wait. I understand how frustrating it can be. And you're like man Faye how long do I have to wait, my God Lord, when are you going to bring my man? Man Faye, how long do I have to wait, my God Lord, when are you going to bring my man? And I understand the frustration, but what you got to understand is that we can't put God on some type of timer where it's like, if God don't bring my husband by age 35 or age 40, I'm just basically going to settle. No, we must be willing to uphold the standard of holiness. It's about holiness, it's about your heart, and God is a king.

Speaker 1: 2:27

I think a lot of times we forget our positioning because we know how much he loves us and the grace and mercy he's had on us. But let's not get it twisted. Our God is a king, meaning he do what he want to do when he wants to do. He is sovereign. Meaning he move when he want to move and we can't force his hand. Yes, there's a such thing as his permissive will and his perfect will and there's grace. But I think sometimes we get real confused, especially as American people, with our, you know, for the people, by the people, and we think our vote counts In the kingdom what I realized. And we think our vote counts in the kingdom what I realized. God will take what you feel and what you have to say into consideration, but at the end of the day, he wants his perfect will fulfilled, which is you becoming more like Jesus.

Speaker 1: 3:16

And I know this ain't popular, I know I didn't want to hear this when I was dating. I know this is far from culture. What culture tells us is the truth. We can get it real, real twisted. We can start to compromise. We can start to let down our standards because we start to feel like man, it ain't never going to happen. We start to get frustrated, start to get irritated, start to feel like I got to make it happen myself. But I'm a living witness. I'm here to tell you. When you try to make it happen yourself, when you try to force a relationship that's out of the will of the Lord, I'm just telling you. You setting yourself up for failure. Baby, you about to hit your head hard as a rock.

Speaker 1: 3:57

I ran into so many people that I talked to about waiting and dating and I get it. Y'all understand you want, you want a companion, you want somebody to be with, you want to have sex, you want to have kids, you want all this stuff that comes with dating and relationships. But what I also want you to realize is when you do it outside of the of the will, the perfect will of the Lord, you're going to reap repercussions and you're likely going to fall for a counterfeit. What do I mean? When I decided that I was done waiting on God, I decided, you know, I've been waiting, god promised me and so I'm just going to go get it myself. I ended up with a guy who seemed really, really nice. It was really cool for a minute, and that's usually how sin gets you. It'd be cool for a minute, it'd be sweet for a minute, until you realize that thing ain't sweet. It's literally like the story I heard when I was doing downline and, and big ups to anybody who's done downline. Um, I went through that program a long time ago y'all, I ain't gonna tell you how long, but it's been a minute and um, I graduated from that program and dr kenan bond. Um, amazing of God, he shared this story and he talked about how, I think in Alaska, how they kill wolves.

Speaker 1: 5:11

He said they take this sword, right, and they dip it in blood and they freeze it, dip it in blood and they freeze it, and they do this over and over and over and over and over until they get like a thick coat of blood on this sword. They take the sword and they put the sword, they bear the sword with the handle in the ground and the blade up, and so the wolves begin to smell the blood. They're like, ooh, I smell blood. And they begin to go hunt for it, right. And so they're like, oh my God, it's blood, it's what they love, they just want to feast on it. They're like, oh my God, it's blood, it's what they love. They just want to feast on it like, oh my god, it's, it's like, it's like free, it's easy, it's, it's fun, it's what I like.

Speaker 1: 5:48

And so, as the wolves are just so excited about this blood-dipped sword, they just licking it right, just enjoying it, just consuming the blood on it. And they, yes, they frozen the blood on it and it's dipped and it's literally like thick with all this stuff that the wolves crave. And so the wolves licking the blood off it, right, and I'm sorry y'all triggered by this, but just follow me, the wolves licking this blood off the sword, right, and this blood's been frozen and re-dipped and re-dipped and re-dipped and re-dipped and the blood on the sword is just really making the wolf just excited and he's licking it and having a good time. But at a and the sword becomes available. But the wolf, in its desire, in its craving, in its lust for that blood, unbeknownst itself begins to swallow and consume its own blood. That's killing the wolves, right.

Speaker 1: 6:45

And so that's how sin is. It lures you in. It's your own desire that lures you in, and you can choose to fall, pray for that sword and begin to lick and enjoy that thirst and quench your thirst. You know, oh my God, he's so fine. Oh my goodness, he's everything I dreamed of. Oh my God, I can make this compromise. I'll make this compromise. I'll give him this time here. I'll do this. You begin to compromise and begin to let down your guard and begin to do stuff you know you shouldn't be doing, just because you want that desire in your heart so bad that you don't realize that that choice, that choice to not allow God to write your love story, that choice to go off and do what you want to do because you want to do it.

Speaker 1: 7:34

Sin is something. This is something my mama always taught me. Sin costs you more than you want to pay, keeps you longer than you want to stay. You understand me. Sin costs and you don't know how long you're going to be tied into that dead relationship. You don't know what STDs you can catch, you don't know how many babies you have at a wet lot, and then you got to explain to this kid why they will never see their mom and dad living underneath the same roof.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Like y'all, I have to have this conversation with my daughter almost weekly Because she's angry at the situation that me and her father chose to put her in. And I'm just talking to y'all real quick. I have to have this conversation with my preteen now. I thought I had to when she became an adult no baby. I have to sit down and explain to her why mom and dad can't be together. You know how painful. That is the person that I love the most painful. That is the person that I love the most. I am directly responsible for their personal struggles, emotional struggles because they have to choose mom and dad's house. They don't understand why mama can't be with daddy.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I didn't see that when I was looking all into his eyes and all excited to be with him. I'm all goo-goo-ga-ga, all happy. I got my man. I got me a man. We're going to do it God's way. Now, how foolish is that? You go get some mess and expect God to bless it? That's what I did, y'all. I went out and I got that man that I wanted and I said God, I got me a man, bless it, lord. That's how some of us look. We look stupid. We go out and we find somebody that resembles what we think we want. So, you see, you don't know the heart of that person. You don't know, you can't see down the line what's going to happen. And so I'm all excited.

Speaker 1: 9:21

For two and a half years, everything seemed peachy cream, seemed perfect, and then, all of a sudden, it blew up in my face. I got thrown away like I was trash, literally humiliated in front of everyone. I got thrown away like I was trash, literally humiliated in front of everyone. I'm literally just here to tell y'all straight up Holiness is a choice. It ain't going to be easy. Purity is a choice. Trusting God is a choice, and you got to really look at your heart and see why am I so tempted to rebel against what the Bible said to do? Because I feel like I've waited too long.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Yes, I'm frustrated, yes, I'm angry, but do you love God enough to wait? Do you love God enough to trust him? Even when you don't see his hand, you trust his character. Is that you woman of God? Or are you still over here trying to do what you want to do the way you want to do it and you're going to try to shortcut your way into a marriage and gonna end up looking stupid? I I hate to be so blunt, but I'm so for real.

Speaker 1: 10:21

I see people that go and jump and get married. Everything seem all great and these folks end up divorced in a year or end up in a relationship that sucks, or end up even worse, just messed up mentally because they end up with somebody relationship that sucks, or end up even worse, just messed up mentally, because they end up with somebody who was a wolf in sheep's clothing, because you can only see so far. That's why you got to trust God. You got to trust God. He knows everything and I know you're frustrated, I know you're mad. I know you're like, faye, I'm almost 40. And I'm still single, faye, I'm almost 40 and I'm still single. I'm almost 25 and ain't nobody checking for me. I get it, I understand, I've been there.

Speaker 1: 10:56

But I also made the dumb mistake to go try to fix it myself, to go try to make it happen on my own, and I ended up shattered emotionally, shattered financially, shattered spiritually. Like y'all, I was shattered in every way. I was suicidal, depressed, had to take my daughter to a homeless shelter, had to sleep in the car pregnant with her, take her to the homeless shelter. I was giving birth to her, had to pee in a cup in front of complete strangers to prove I wasn't on drugs just to get a place to stay Right Like that. The cause of that choice is still. The residue of that choice still follows me today.

Speaker 1: 11:38

And, yes, there's grace, yes, there's mercy, yes, god redeemed it. Yes, I got a beautiful marriage and I have beautiful children. I have a beautiful family now. But I still have to deal look my kid in the face and deal with the consequence that, because of my choice, because of what I chose to do back when my flesh was weak and I wanted a husband so bad, I was willing to compromise my walk with Jesus. I was telling God you can have lordship over everything else except this part of my life, right here Now I've got to continue to have those conversations with my daughter that she's enough, that me and her dad's breakup is not because of her. You know how great, how sad that is and then, even worse, trigger warning, just so y'all know, when my daughter's dad come over to pick her up, I look at my husband and look at him and be like dang, I had babies by both of them. Like that's embarrassing. And so I just want to challenge you, woman of God. Be better than me, be like Jesus. Stop looking around at the world and seeing all the compromises they're telling you you can make.

Speaker 1: 12:40

I even saw a pastor talking about when you're 35, do what you got to do. What? What's wrong with you? You don't even deserve to be that pastor. You need to be sat down because you ain't preaching Bible. You're preaching culture and some of us choosing to live by culture. But we don't live by culture. We live by the word of God and we don't live by our feelings. We live by what God told us in his word. And when you can't hear him talking to you. You can get in your Bible and read what he said long time ago, because his word don't change.

Speaker 1: 13:10

And I oftentimes realize that when it seems like God ain't moving, when it seems like you let your wits end and you like man, I'm about to give up. I ain't studying this, no more. I'm about to go and do my own thing. I'm out here trying to wait and do what's right, and it's looking like everybody else who ain't even trying. They getting married, they getting money, they doing they living it up. Yeah, it looks sweet. It looks sweet, but baby, don't be fooled. Do not be fooled. God is not mocked, okay. And so I'm going to head out on this one.

Speaker 1: 13:43

I know this girl, powerful, woman of God, she can be used so mightily by the Lord, chose to be in a relationship with this guy who's an unbeliever. And she was like well, god, you know God can save him. I'm going to date him and I'm just going to try to get him to say it while we date Wrong philosophy. So now she's in a relationship. Years and years went by.

Speaker 1: 14:06

I'm like you really think he's going to honor your God when you disrespected your own God? Number one, number two you really think God's going to bless that, although you are in direct disobedience because you knew what to do and you chose to do what you wanted to do. You really think God's going to bless this mess? No, he's not. That's disrespectful, and I just really find it hard that we think God's going to put up with our crap Crap you wouldn't put up with. You wouldn't put up with somebody blatantly disrespecting you, then asking you to condone it, asking you to bless them. What's wrong with us, body of Christ? We got to get it together, and so, if this is you, I challenge you.

Speaker 1: 14:43

If you have slipped up and started having sex with your boyfriend, stop now, repent, turn, leave that relationship before it gets worse. If you are being tempted to have sex with your boyfriend, don't do it. Get yourself out of temptation. God promises in his word that he will provide a way of escape. Look for the way of escape. It's there, matter of fact.

Speaker 1: 15:04

This is a warning to you. Woe to you if you choose to move forward in that, despite what you know to be true in the word of God, and if you are sitting single, idle and you're dying. You're starting to be like man fam. I'm going to go out here and go find somebody on my own. Woe to you too. Be still woman of God, trust God. Woman of God, get in your word, begin to serve in community, begin to go connect with other sisters, connect with crown mentorship. That's what we're here for. Okay, I love y'all. Y'all are amazing. I'm so proud of you, proud of you for withstanding the temptations. I'm proud of you for taking your heart, taking your sorrows, taking your frustrations to the Lord. Continue to pour yourself out before the King. Okay, do not give up. Be better than me. I love y'all. Bye-bye.