Christian Dating Talk
Christian Dating Talk
What really is Christian Dating⁉️
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Navigating the complex world of Christian dating can feel overwhelming, especially with the increasing overlap between sacred and secular relationship dynamics. Have you ever wondered why divorce rates among Christians mirror those of the secular world? Join me as I share personal insights and experiences, grappling with the importance of authenticity and integrity in our relationships. We'll explore how understanding your identity in God and finding a partner aligned with your divine purpose is crucial for a lifelong commitment that supports your mission.
Aligning personal intentions with spiritual guidance isn't just a good idea—it's essential. Let's talk about the importance of asking God if it's the right time to date, and the need for personal preparation—emotionally, financially, and spiritually—before seeking a partner. Too often, there's a misconception that a spouse should "fix" our issues. Together, we'll tackle these misconceptions and emphasize the importance of personal accountability and spiritual growth to create a fulfilling, God-centered relationship.
Boundaries are not just guidelines; they're lifelines. Establishing boundaries and maintaining accountability are crucial to avoiding the pitfalls of compromised values and inappropriate behaviors. We'll discuss how community and accountability can support honest conversations and provide a safety net as we seek meaningful connections. The Christian Dating Collective is here to address these needs, offering support for those navigating the challenges of Christian dating. I invite you to join this thriving community, attend events, and explore forming godly relationships.
hello, hello, hello. How y'all doing. Thank y'all so much for the love, for the connection. I really hope that this podcast will be a space where we will become like friends, like family, okay, and so thank y'all so much for y'all who are just joining. My name is f. I am your host of the Christian Dating Talk podcast.
Speaker 1:Okay, and so this podcast was birthed out of my experiences, out of me seeing the state of Christian dating and how Christian divorce was literally beginning to rival secular divorce. I'm like hold on, god gave us marriage, god gave us partnerships. Why is it starting to erode? And I just was like you know what it's? Because people ain't being real. And so I decided to start this podcast. And so this is for some people, this is not for others, okay, and so in this space, you will be called out, you will be called up and you will be called to do what God's called you to do, irregardless to if you got a boo thing or not. And if you are dating, I'm going to be asking some hard questions, okay, because I need for you to make God proud, regardless of if you get married, regardless of what your friends say. It don't matter. Are you making God proud. That's what I care about. And so, with 2024 and how things have gotten, so just kind of jumbled up, I just was like man, we really do need to have a conversation and I got a lot more conversations that need to be had. But today we're going to talk about y'all ready. Today we're going to talk about exactly what is Christian dating.
Speaker 1:I was looking through a lot of comments and a lot of emails I received and I thank y'all so much for the love. Thank you so much for the ratings. If you can and if you will, please give me a rating. I want to hear what you think about what your girl be talking about. I know this podcast is not super. I would say professional. It's pretty great. It's pretty, you know, is what it is. It's pretty raw. I started this podcast literally walking down the street, picked my phone up and began to talk to y'all. And the crazy part it went all the way to hong kong. I thought that was pretty awesome, so I shout out to all my hong kong family I love y'all. Then it literally went to australia next and then it beamed back to the united states and so we are in 100 countries. We have over 10 000 subscribers and I'm just so excited because now we're on youtube.
Speaker 1:Okay, but before I into what is Christian dating, I wanted to thank you guys who all bought your books, and if you still want your book, they are still for sale. We have both the paperback and we have both the hardcover. This book is literally just 10 things that I really walk through and I know it's like a lot, of, a lot of issues in Christian dating, but this book only deal with 10, okay, 10 of the biggest ones, and so I want to encourage you to read this book. I want to encourage you to share this with your singles ministry. This will have a manual that will come with it as well. A manual will come with this book, and I want to start a conversation because I believe God has something to say about dating in the church.
Speaker 1:Most times, singles feel like just an extra part of the church. Most times, we honestly make singles in our church feel like a just like a little thing in the church, like you're not that important. You just kind of use folks when you need it. We need you to serve, but it's like I believe God got something to say about it. I believe a lot of times, christian singles feel isolated in the church, but I can't fully be true and be real and authentic and open up. This space is designed to begin to have those conversations, to begin to step into some stuff that's been taboo. We've been afraid to talk about it. It's like if you know people in your church having sex on a wet lock, why are we not talking about it? It's because it's taboo and no one wants to step into that. But I ain't afraid. I'm your girl and so go, order your book. 10 Reasons why I Hate Christian Dating. And I need y'all to read it and rate it okay. Also, the book can be found in Amazon. The book can be found in Barnes and Nobles, the book's at Walmart now y'all and, of course, the book's online. I also have my own website working on now, which I probably should have had that done already. But your girl got kids, okay, but let's hop into it.
Speaker 1:What is Christian dating? What is it? What is this thing? Most people would be like, well, faye, there's no such thing as Christian dating. I'm like uh duh, but you got to understand that the culture of dating that was in the world that's kind of formed its way over to the church, and so what we're trying to do is get you back to the basics. So Christian dating, what is it? Christian dating is literally like you taking the time to find out who you are, who God called you to be, who he called you to be with. That's what I understand Christian dating as, and I want to make this clear too.
Speaker 1:In Christian dating, it's not about having fun. Most people date to play, and if that's you, you tripping. You need to repent, you need to turn back to the Lord because you it's on your way to messing up somebody's life, hurting one of God's children, and you will be held accountable. Okay, but Christian dating should lead. It should be about courtship. It should be about is this a person I can be with for the rest of my life? Would they be perfect? No, but can I get on board with this mission and vision on this person's life, which that's usually for us women? I speak a lot to women, but I know men follow me too. But can I follow him? Is he a good covering for me? And if you are a man because I know men tune in too can she help mother my kids? Can she help me deliver this mission and complete this mission and vision God put on my life? If not, what am I doing talking to her, why I'm wasting her time? And so we're gonna really just dive into what exactly is it. What exactly is it? Most people think it's.
Speaker 1:Most people use it like fun. You use it like it's like a favorite pastime, like it's like a hobby or something. If you're doing that, you're tripping, and I want to encourage you get your life together, because you're messing up people's life. You are, you're gonna be're going to be held responsible for every heart you break, every person you mishandle, because what you got to understand is these people are made in an image of a living God. They're not there for your amusement, they're not there for your gratification, they're not there for you to use and misuse and mishandle, and I don't think we think about that. That.
Speaker 1:My brother, assistant, christ, whoever, whoever you are listening to me, this person that I'm entertaining, because some of y'all just use a woman for for rebound purposes, and some of you ladies using men for free meals this person is a person created in the image of the living God and if I can't handle them and can't treat them according to how, if God was looking at me right now. I better be careful, and so I want you just to think about, like, what are you doing? If you're dating right now? What's the purpose? What's the point? Are y'all? Is this a person you're trying to marry? Is this a person you just need somebody just to talk to? I need you to really understand, like, what exactly are you doing? Because that's something that that we gotta really clarify, and so, for me, christian dating is a process of getting to know. Is this the person I want to enter into courtship with?
Speaker 1:Christian dating is a place where we interview, we ask all the hard questions. That's why I'm so big on don't be investing too soon. Too much time, too much talk, too much touch leads to emotional fornication, which ultimately leads to you about to have sex and a baby out of wedlock, like I did. Yes, I'm just real straightforward, because this is so important to me, god got something to say about it. God has heard y'all's prayers, god's heard it and he's concerned about the state of Christian dating. He's concerned about the dwindling in Christian marriages number one and the increase in Christian divorces. Why is it the world we look at so much like the world? It's because we have turned from what the Bible has to say about this matter, and on this podcast, in this space, we're going to have turned from what the Bible has to say about this matter and on this podcast, in this space, we're going to turn back to what the Bible has to say.
Speaker 1:And so, first off, even what? What even is Christian dating? Christian dating is all about purpose, okay, purpose. I got it. I wrote, I wrote a script over here so I can make sure I stay on. Oh, y'all know how I can get. I wrote me a script to make sure I stay on par. Okay, can make sure I stay on. Y'all know how I can get. I wrote me a script to make sure I stay on par, okay.
Speaker 1:And so it's not just about most people just spend life just in a binge. We doom scroll and we binge on Facebook and Netflix and stuff, and it's like no, no, no, you have to take the neglect and the lack of purpose and strategy out of Christian dating. Because if you lack strategy, if you don't have a plan, if you're just in it and just feeling around, I guess we're going to see what we're going to do. Guess what you are about to wreck yourself. Okay, let's keep going, and so these are some practical keys I want to give you as far as how to navigate this thing.
Speaker 1:How is, if I am dating, if I want to date in a biblical way, what do I need to be doing and get this book? This book gonna literally show you exactly like, in more detail, I can only do so much here, and y'all, I'm so excited about 2025. We're going to start having Christian dating. Talk live, it's going to be so much fun. Well, you can ask me a question, live, and I don't know everything. Okay, don't get me wrong. I don't know everything. So we're going to bring in some big boys who got seasoned marriages, who dated and who did it the wrong way, did it the right way, and so I'm so excited about that. So y'all stay tuned. But anywho, how do we begin to walk this thing out?
Speaker 1:Number one what's your purpose? Who's y'all did in the end? Number one you need to ask God is it time for me to date right now? I know I want to have sex. I know I want to kiss and hug on people. I know it's cold outside in some areas. I know I see all these cute family pictures out there. It's my heart desire to be married. But what is God saying about the season you're in right now and I'm going to do another episode, but I'm going to get into it just a little bit on this one of what I believe you should be doing as you're in the waiting?
Speaker 1:But if you're dating right now, did God tell you you can date? That's how I messed up big time. I'm just being straight up. That's how I messed up. I messed up because I was um. I never asked God, is this my man? Am I supposed to be with him? I just saw him and said he cute, check, loved jesus, check, that's my man. And if you do that, I'm telling you surefire way to find yourself in a situation. Surefire way you're gonna mess up, okay. And so ask god, what does god have to say? Because some of y'all got terrible credit, some of y'all finances are in a horrible place. You should be dating no one. If your financial state is just tragedy, you should really be dealing with that financial hole that you're in. By being so worried about this, some of y'all's health is just not good. You should be focused on getting my health in order while I'm praying through God, when would you lead me to the spouse Understand.
Speaker 1:A lot of times we go into marriage, we go into dating and eventually marriage because that's what it's all about. Okay, we're going to that, not thinking long. You got to begin to think long. You got to see the long picture. Think far out. If this person got terrible financial habits, this person super out of shape, this person got terrible family relationships, but yet you super excited to jump in a relationship with them, I'm here to tell you, if that stuff not flushed out while you are, you know dating, before you even get to dating, it's gonna come like a roaring, raging lion in your marriage. It's gonna come to try to destroy it. And so, if you are not dating, it's time to learn how to cook, learn how to clean, learn how to travel by yourself, learn how to love and be good to yourself. Most people I understand because I do a lot of surveys and I'm going to get some of y'all. Do some more surveys for me.
Speaker 1:Most people don't even like to go out with themselves. They don't even like to be around themselves. What you mean you want to date? They don't even like to be around themselves. What you mean you want to date? What do you mean you want to date. Some people ain't even got past other baby daddy issues, other ex-boyfriend issues, but yet here you want God to send you one of his best. You want God to send you a man after his own heart. How about you deal with your heart? How about you get your heart together?
Speaker 1:Most of us got a trash walk with the Lord. You ain't walking with the Lord. You're masturbating, watching pornography. You out here in all type of stuff, you at the clubs, drinking and smoking. You're doing what the world doing, but yet you focus on I want to find somebody to date. You got, we got too much work to do. You got too much work to be doing.
Speaker 1:And I'm saying this because that was me, like I was out here tripping, acting a fool, going to church still, but I wasn't living like I'm supposed to be living. And here I was. Lord, see my man. Lord, I want a man. Faith can't cook, faith can't clean, don't like to clean. Faith like messed up. But here I want a man to come in here thinking it's gonna stay today, here to tell you honey, a man ain't gonna stay today. Jesus is the savior, not him. The man's going to come to compliment and to lead you where God's taking y'all, next generation.
Speaker 1:What you got to understand is I don't think y'all hear me and this is not an episode, but I'm about to say it anyways I don't think y'all hear me, but when a husband comes into your life, it's not to help you with your life. You hear me right when a husband comes into your life, it's not to help you with your life. We got that twisted because we've been. Most of us, especially us americans, have been raised up in a jezebelic society and I know it's like oh fay, oh my god. Yes, we've been raised up in a jezebelic society where everything is about us, everything is for us. We are a little hedonist.
Speaker 1:That need to repent we got to understand is when you are I know it's tight, but it's right when you are wanting a kingdom marriage, especially as the woman not especially, but as the woman. Your husband is not coming into your life to help you with your mission on your life. He's coming so you can become his helper. God made a helper suitable for this man, because God gave every man of God a mission and a vision that he wants to be accomplished in his life and he sent a helper. You fool you you. He sent us into this man's life to come underneath this mission and vision in his life. And when we come underneath that and we submit our mission and vision in his life, and when we come underneath that and we submit our mission and vision, then we see beautiful things happen. And in submitting your vision, it's not saying, oh, I can't do it, I can't do my stuff, no more, I can't, whatever. It's not about what you got to give up, it's about what you get to do now. You get to be a part of something bigger, something greater.
Speaker 1:I was an entrepreneur. I'm still an entrepreneur, but for a season, when I got married, I had to put entrepreneurship down to begin to help my husband, and he became a y'all. I kid y'all, not as soon as I got married, my husband immediately went into full-time ministry. If I would have known that bro was gonna be a full-time minister, I'm telling you right now, I would have known that bro was going to be a full-time minister, I'm telling you right now I would have been like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noly boss queen in Memphis, tennessee, taking care of my kids, I had built that thing out right, and so my husband. I had to put that down for a season to help him in his mission, help him in that vision, help birth his children.
Speaker 1:I don't think we understand women. I don't think you understand what you really get yourself into when you're begging and pleading to God to bring that man of God to you. You are made out of his. You know Adam was created by the form, by the hands of God. Eve was brought forth out of the rib of her man, meaning you don't get. You don't date somebody and marry somebody and you get to be the head. Date somebody and marry somebody and you get to be the head. That's called a monster, that's just called the devil. You have to come by his side and help him with the mission and vision on his life.
Speaker 1:And so if you're not asking those right questions, if you're not seeking a father about God, what would you have me to do right now? I'm here to tell you. I'm here to tell you, listen to me, listen to your girl. I'm here to tell you, you to me, listen to your girl. I'm here to tell you You're going to either marry a man with no vision, who don't know who he is and that's going to put you in a space of irritation, frustration, mad you want to leave this food or you're going to find yourself trying to be a Jezebel, trying to force your husband into silence. I see it happening so much, and these are more episodes. Let me focus back on this. Did you ask God what God got to say about it? Number two boundaries is a thing. Baby. Put the boundaries up. Ain't no Netflix and then chilling? Ain't no going to the movies after 10. Ain't no, all that vacation, vacation stuff. We ain't doing all that.
Speaker 1:Want to know why you set yourself up to be totally destroyed. Food for the enemy, total, just destruction. I'm gonna be honest like you, be a fool for the enemy. Did the enemy look at you like this fool over here now? She know better. She was at church yesterday. What's she doing in that little jacquan house? You know, jacquan ain't no good, and for some of y'all who named jacquan, I ain't talking about you. You love the lord, but does that look at you like devil? Look at you like devil. Look at you like bro, you know better, bro, you know better what you mean, you know better. And you over there, tipping and dipping, got this little side man over here. You got this little man you texting, you got his name under piece of man, no, piece of man, be real.
Speaker 1:And y'all men over here sending nude pictures and all type of stupid stuff, asking for nude pictures. If you're doing that, you ain't no Christian. It's time for you to get real with the Lord. If you can send a nude picture, you don't even understand how backslidden and drifting you are. You don't understand what type of danger you in spiritually.
Speaker 1:And so boundaries is a thing. The next one number three boundaries is a thing. The next one number three community and accountability. That is your saving grace in entrepreneurship, and I say entrepreneurship, that's your saving grace in Christian dating.
Speaker 1:Without community, without accountability, these are two different things. Mostly, be like I got community, but are you telling them anything? No, you're not. I'm awake Because I know you're lying. Stop lying to yourself. Accountability and community are two different things. Community is just. You allow people around you. Accountability, you allow people within your circle. You allow them in. You allow them to ask certain questions. Ain't no question off guard Women that I disciple.
Speaker 1:I'm asking you what were you doing with him at this time? Where your location at boo, I need your location. Wait, what you doing? Especially those who, like your girl, who I had an issue with fornication, who I am trying to be holy Baby, baby, please help your girl because I ain't trying to find myself at the hotel, motel, holiday inn. Okay, help me. I need you to begin my business and what you don't understand is in that community and accountability there's so much safety. Okay, next, communication. Communication is your friend. Don't miss this time.
Speaker 1:I know he might be cute, she might be fine, but don't miss this time of asking those real questions, of doing the work you need to be doing. Because all he's all fine, we'll figure it out later but you didn't know he got because, oh, he's so fine, we'll figure it out later. But you didn't know he got schizophrenia. Oh, she's so pretty, but you didn't know she was bipolar. Oh, oh, my God, he's so fine, but you didn't know he had anger issues and guys were working on him and he used to beat up women. Oh, she's so fine, but you didn't know she don't want to have no kids and she don't like sex. These are real questions, okay, real questions.
Speaker 1:You need to make sure you got to make sure that these questions are being asked and that you are doing the work. You got to do the work. It's going to be hard, I understand it's going to be difficult, but you can do this, okay, and so I need you to do I hard. I understand it's going to be difficult, but you can do this, okay, and so I need you to do. I need you to start getting out. I'm transitioning now because I'm kind of going over, but I need you to start getting out.
Speaker 1:Go to different meet and greets, networking events. Your husband and your wife are going to find you in your house. They're coming to your house. You got to get out. Go put some lipstick on, put something on, get the bun off your head and go get cute. Put some lipstick on, put something on, get the button off your head and go get cute. Go network. Don't be afraid to go on dates, coffee dates. Go to the museum, go to the art museum, go do stuff like that. Get to know each other, go have fun. Now. Don't be doing no vacations, all that right there now. Levels to it, but get out. I just want to encourage you.
Speaker 1:Christian dating is just about. What is the purpose, what did God tell me to do? How can I make sure I got up proper boundaries, what's my community looking like, accountability looking like and what are those conversations that need to be had? That's how you do Christian dating biblically. So that's part one. I love y'all so much.
Speaker 1:Again, the book is out. Go get your copy today, okay, and also I can't wait to see y'all next year. Next year I want y'all to come out, mix, meet and greet. It's literally like Christian Dating Talk has like probably 50-50 men, 50-50 like women to man ratio. Come out, meet each other. You never know. I would love to see some godly couples spring forth from this platform, from this community. So we have opened the Christian Dating Collective, which is a community of young believers who want to follow the Lord in dating, who want to have these talks about man I'm really struggling with masturbation. Man, I'm really struggling with my mind. Man, my heart's broken. How do I heal from this man? When's my man even coming? When's my woman even coming? Those conversations, because in isolation you will give up. So we had the collective that started. But I love y'all. Thank so much for the support and the love. Y'all are amazing. Y'all take care.