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The Red Flag Project
Welcome to The Red Flag Project – a podcast for navigating the world of dating & relationships, schemas and attachment patterns and of course red flags. We’ll be looking more deeply into why we choose the partners we do and why we often get stuck in what we call love-traps.
This podcast is for you if you’ve ever wanted to break unhealthy relationship patterns but didn’t quite know how.
We’re your hosts Dr Gemma Gladstone and Dr Justine Corry (Clinical Psychologists, Schema Therapists and Dating/Relationships Coaches) and we look forward to helping you turn confusion and self-doubt into action and self-belief.
This podcast is for information and entertainment purposes only and is no substitute for professional or relationship advice from a registered therapist. Please seek advice that is tailored to your specific needs from a mental heath or relationship expert.
The Red Flag Project
11. Understanding Narcissistic Modes in Schema Therapy
Welcome back to the Red Flag Project
In schema therapy, 'Modes' are a key part of the model. Schema Modes have been defined as moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses that we all experience. But also, Modes can be understood as 'parts' of self. So modes can be observable to others and/or also a way to conceptualise the idea of multi-selves (ie, that we all have parts of self).
Schema modes are activated by triggers (eg, life situations, memories, interactions with others, our own thoughts & feelings, random events) that we are especially sensitive to (ie, they are salient for us/meaningful to us in some way).
Many schema modes lead us to over or under react to situations and, thus, to act in ways that end up hurting us or others and also reinforcing and perpetuating our schemas.
In this episode, Gemma and Justine discuss some of the modes that are especially relevant to Narcissism.
These modes are: (1) angry child mode - a core child mode (2) Bully & Attack mode - a coping mode (3) Martyr Mode - a coping mode and (4) Self-Aggrandiser mode - a coping mode. While there are other modes which might be relevant, we discuss these four as particularly important in understanding the behaviours and motivations of the person who is exhibiting narcissistic traits.
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The Red Flag Project: a place for women to do the self-development they need to choose loving, respectful relationships.
Click the link below to find out more about our online dating course, our course on schema chemistry and how to break free from love-traps and our online membership The Schema Circle.
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Schema Therapy for Life: For anyone who wants to become their own pattern-breaker using the wisdom and clarity of Schema Therapy.
Click below for more information on our online membership The Schema Circle - the first membership to help you break free from your unhelpful patterns using the wisdom of Schema Therapy.
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