Sticking Up for Yourself

What if you could assert your worth in a way that is both gentle and powerful? Join me, Don Thompson, as I explore the nuanced world of self-advocacy from a mindful perspective. You'll discover how to stand up for yourself without crossing the line into selfishness, and understand why advocating for fair treatment is a fundamental human right. We dive into the historical roots of self-advocacy, touching upon philosophical critiques by influential figures like Nietzsche, and trace how these ideas have shaped our modern understanding of self-esteem and self-worth.

In this thought-provoking episode, we also examine the broader implications of self-advocacy within various social movements, such as the rights of the disabled, and its connection to universal themes of compassion and loving-kindness. Learn practical exercises that will empower you to not only advocate for yourself but also support others in marginalized groups. Embrace the collective necessity of self-advocacy as a tool for fostering equality and promoting a compassionate society. Tune in and equip yourself with the mindful strength to demand the fair treatment you—and everyone—deserve.

Music: Aves - 'Magnify'

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:25

When your people need your teaching.

Speaker 2: 0:31

Hi, don Thompson, here with another supportive podcast for you today. As I mentioned, all the podcasts are going to be fabulous. So this is a fabulously supportive podcast for you today, and hopefully I'm not opening these podcasts in too much of an unserious way, but sometimes we can take ourselves too seriously and I don't want to take myself too seriously because, after all, you know, perhaps in a past life I was a stand-up comic, and if I was a stand-up comic in a past life, well, I might want to. You know, perhaps in a past life I was a stand-up comic and if I was a stand-up comic in a past life, well, I might want to. You know, I have these urges to be funny, even though these urges might fall flat and you might not laugh. You might think I'm just being silly or hopefully not obnoxious. I'm not trying to be that at all. I'm just trying to be supportive, actually, and to take a more serious tone.

Speaker 2: 1:28

This is, I believe, a fairly supportive podcast in that I want to talk about self-advocacy and what that means from a mindful perspective. And what self-advocacy means is really that you're treating yourself, perhaps even demanding, in a gentle way, in a reasonable way, that others treat you as if your worth is no less than any other being. You might call it sticking up for yourself. I guess that's one way you can put it sticking up for yourself. At times it's important to stick up for yourself. You know you need to not let yourself be berated, you need to not let yourself be put down by others Sometimes that'll happen and you need to be able to stick up for yourself in a mindful way, in a way that's gentle and reasonable but yet makes that person understand that you know you have value and if they don't know it, you're going to know it and you're going to, you know, express it in such a way that they understand that you feel that you have value, that you're advocating for yourself.

Speaker 2: 3:03

And you know the history of self-advocacy Nietzsche, when they were questioning this whole idea of self-sacrifice, that was sort of a negative connotation or negative viewpoint. They were critiquing this whole idea of self-sacrifice and saying, no, we have to advocate for ourselves. And it's carried on into the modern era, into this idea that we should have self-esteem, that psychologists feel we should have self-esteem and self-worth and that this is a good thing. But we don't want to confuse this with selfishness. You know self-advocacy. We don't want to confuse this with selfishness. You know self-advocacy, we don't want to confuse it with selfishness. So we, as human beings, we have a right to advocate for equal treatment, for freedom from abuse and for the ability to follow our own particular path and our own particular dreams. That's what the American experiment is about, and self-advocacy is about that as well.

Speaker 2: 4:07

And so a lot of times, you know, movements such as the rights of the disabled come out of this kind of thinking, and it's a good thing. We want to support the rights of the disabled, for example, to live to their full potential, just like we want to live to our full potential that don't have any particular disabilities. I mean, everybody's got a disability in a way. Being a human being, you might say, is a disability. Certainly, living in certain countries is a disability. Still to this day, even though we try to work against it. Being of a certain race can be, you know, seen as being a disability to some people. Not that that's the right thing, and this is why people need to self-advocate. They need to stick up for themselves. This is what the movements of race and gender and the disabled or whoever needs to stick up for themselves, they need to do that, needs to stick up for themselves. They need to do that and this comes out of a very, very powerful core of compassion, of self-compassion, of advocacy, of loving kindness, and you apply it to yourself as well as to others. So let's step through a couple of exercises related to I'll call them basic advocacy and then self-advocacy.

Speaker 2: 5:30

So let's go through basic advocacy first. So I invite you to sit in a comfortable meditative posture, relaxed and alert, alert, and while breathing gently and calmly, to begin to think about something for which you have an unequivocable good feeling. No doubt there's a good feeling. It could be a parent or a child, or a pet or a friend, or even a place or a concept. You have a good feeling about this thing, so what you want to do is begin to wish that person or thing well. You can use loving kindness, for example, to do that. You can consider this a sensation of caring, a sensation of caring, and to fill yourself with the sensation of caring, of support for this thing. And you can feel it to your fullest extent in your body, in your emotional body, and explore this and examine how advocacy of this sort makes you feel, how you think about the object of your advocacy, what your emotions are and your attitudes.

Speaker 2: 6:55

And then I invite you to try and slowly ramp up this feeling of goodwill and to love fiercely, to care strongly and to center your attention on the power of your caring and your commitment to this positive feeling. Almost conversely, you can try and weaken this feeling to see how that feels in your body, in your mind. How does it feel to dial back those feelings? How does it feel to dial back those feelings, how does it feel to dial back your advocacy in this very thing that we've been feeling so fiercely toward? So what's the bottom line? You can ramp up or ramp back or calibrate your advocacy for a given thing or person. You can feel fiercely about it or not so fiercely about it. It's up to you. It's a beautiful thing. You can choose. You can wrap up this feeling of advocacy and you can bring it back, depending on the situation, depending on what's necessary.

Speaker 2: 8:23

It's really, you know, tells us about our own strength and determination and it tells us how we have this ability to completely love with absolute and abandon even things that are imperfect. And these skills are what helps us to move to step two, which is self-advocacy. Step two, which is self-advocacy. So now I invite you to settle into the same relaxed and alert posture as before and bring to mind yourself as a child and to see yourself as a child, and to focus on the many qualities of you as a child and how worthy of love you were and how vulnerable and innocent you were as a child, and consider how, even as a child, you were in a sense imperfect, but you were good. You were beautiful Imperfect perhaps, but beautiful.

Speaker 2: 9:31

And so I invite you to have compassion for this young child and gradually move that compassion to yourself now, who was that child and now is an adult, and you have compassion for all the foibles and mistrials and trauma and bad luck, good luck, hard circumstances, whatever's happened to you, that you've had to endure, by virtue of what? Of your humanity, your humanity, and I invite you to settle into this compassion, to allow it to flow into you with each inhalation of your breath, and then to move to loving kindness, feeling the loving kindness for the child you once were and then moving it into the adult that you are now, and feel loving kindness for yourself in this moment, expressing with your own inner voice well wishes and affection for this person that you are, despite of your flaws. Now let's move to advocacy. Return to the child that you were and think about how, if you needed to, you would protect that child and would help that child, just as you would help any child. See if you can bring the same advocacy for that child to your adult self and that sense of advocacy that you would have for that child to your adult self, and that sense of advocacy that you would have for that child to your adult self in the here and now, and consider how you will act in your best interest in the face of anything that could happen illness, bad luck, mistreatment, suffering, whatever just as if you were advocating for that child. In a sense, you're your own parent. This is self-advocacy, and I invite you to fill yourself with this powerful feeling of self-advocacy and to enjoy it, to relish in it and to allow your mind to commit itself to advocating for you.

Speaker 2: 12:02

Self-advocacy is incredibly important. You need to stick up for yourself at times. Sometimes people won't stick up for you. Sometimes people will abandon you. Sometimes they won't stick up for you. You need to stick up for yourself. You need to stand your ground and stick up for yourself and feel that you are worth it. Because you are, I'm telling you. You're worth it. You got one person, you got me, I'm telling you. And now you just need to tell yourself. You need to advocate for yourself, just like your mom or dad would advocate for you, hopefully.

Speaker 2: 12:41

But self-advocacy is important and crucial, and sometimes a necessary thing in life. So I will leave the podcast at that. This is a rather interesting one, inspired by the work of the psychologists that engendered the self-esteem movement, you know, in the 19th century, beginning in the 19th century, and you know you could call it the power of positive thinking, I guess. Guess in a way, but it's really advocating for yourself in a positive way and it's important to do that, I think. So, again, I'll leave the podcast at that and until the next time, take care, thank you, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye bye.

Speaker 1: 13:47

Let your teaching be on high. Give your power. Be your leader In your spirit. Guarantee power. No matter what you try to do, you can't deny the truth. No, and what the people choose ain't really up to you. Actions always find a way to shine brighter than the things you say. Yeah, people need a healing. Let the Spirit be your guide. And when your heart pours out your blessings, then your people need a healing. Let the Spirit be your guide. When your heart goes out your blessing, then your people magnify. No matter what you try to do. You can't deny the truth. And what the people choose ain't really up to you. Actions always find a way to shine brighter than the things you say. Can't get around it. If you try, if you love them, then you magnify. No matter what you try to do, you can't deny the truth, and what the people choose Ain't really up to you. Actions always find a way, and what the people choose ain't really up to you. Action's always running away. Shine brighter than the things you say.