It's Personal Stories, A Hospitality Podcast

Miriam Torres, Co-Owner, Parker-Torres Design Inc., interviewed by Lan Elliott

• David Kong

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Miriam describes a career shaped by mentorship and an unwavering commitment to service. A turning point came when a mentor immersed her in global luxury hotels, teaching her excellence through real-world experience. That exposure opened doors, built credibility, and reinforced the value of learning by doing. She emphasizes that mentorship is not only about guidance, but about access, trust, and being invited into opportunities that accelerate growth.

Lan Elliott:

Hello and welcome to its Personal Stories. My name is Lan Elliot on behalf of its personal Stories, which is a not-for-profit dedicated to empowering personal success in the hospitality industry. And today our guest advisor is my wonderful friend, Miriam Torres, who is the co-owner of Parker Torres. Design Inc. And if you don't know Miriam or Parker Torres, they have worked on some of the most iconic designs and hotels around the world. And if you're not familiar with them, I hope you'll go on our website and learn more about Miriam and Parker Torres.

Speaker 2:

So welcome, Miriam Lynn. Thank you for having me over. I'm so excited to have this chat with you today.

Lan Elliott:

I've been looking forward to this. Miriam, I know a little bit about your journey, but I know you have had an amazing career and you co-founded Parker Torres in 2004, which was a big deal to go out on your own. I'm curious if you could share some of the inflection points in your successful career, and what do you think is the factor or factors behind your personal success?

Miriam Torres:

Number one, I think about 20 years ago my career had a really big turning point. I had the opportunity to work for very successful. Developer in Turkey, very high net worth individual who want me to learn more about the industry in a different perspective. And he was really the biggest mentor anybody can ask for. He took me around the world. To show me what excellence and luxury it will be, and he took me to all the best hotels in the world. But more importantly, he opened so many doors. He also took the time to teach me and let me experience the business. He actually. Introduced me to deals, introduced me to people that I never think I could meet. He really changed my career and I think people don't realize the importance of mentorship. It wasn't just only learning from him, it was also all the doors he opened and all the people he introduced me to. Honestly, it was such. Changed. It was almost like a master degree to me. It was better than a college master degree because we can experience it day to day. It wasn't just learning by a book. So I think working for this individual abroad in these very over the top properties changed my career. Give me the opportunity to get park to rest in the luxury industry, especially.

Lan Elliott:

Yeah, that's incredible because I know people who've worked in luxury, they say you can't work on a luxury project, whether you're an employee or a designer or what have you, until you've done luxury. Which begs the question, how do you get that first luxury? That was it.

Miriam Torres:

That was it. I actually work on the Wal of Astoria before I work with him. When he interview me and I show him my project. He closed the portfolio saying, now I'm gonna tell take you around the world. You're gonna stay at the Reds in Paris and the SBO in London and place in Paris. And when you learn and you study, you can also experience it. And that gave me the opportunity, then come to the country, come back to United States and be approved by all the major luxury brands. So I will say that was the biggest. Opportunity or change in my career for the better that really changed our business. I think also one of our biggest factors, success, especially me is not only the experience, but I don't think people realize how hard work is so important. I know it sounds like a simple word, hard work, but I think hard work and perseverance is probably what made us so successful. I don't give up easily sometime it's not good, but most of the time has been. Plus, I work harder than anybody. I always wanna be the hardest working, and I think people in the industry don't understand. How service is so important. I think people take it by granted. It is not just about doing a beautiful design, but it's how to, the power of service to our client is immensely just replying to an email right away or answering the call. Or just having a conversation. People underestimate the power of a conversation with a client. The more you talk to them, then you're gonna bring these. Trust between each other. And I think that has been a big part of our business model. Work hard, be very connected to the client, especially very available and always servicing them that the communication has been so important to us. I think sometime we are afraid to get back. To a call, think it's a problem, or we're too busy. I think the most important thing is service and communication, at least for us.

Lan Elliott:

I love that. And Parker Torres, when you started that business over 20 years ago. Was that how you thought this is how we're going to run our business, or has it evolved over time? Because you are so client focused and having those conversations and.

Miriam Torres:

No, I think when we started, I was afraid sometime I remember I have a very good story. I work on the Willer Intercontinental in DC and I worked for Oliver Carr, big time developer. And then they asked me to do the wharf intercontinental. And it was very hard for him to understand, to go from a very historic hotel to a contemporary new build and. It was a struggle when it was finished and he went there. He gave me a call. I didn't return the call for three days. This is one of my learning lesson. I was petrified because I thought he will never understand what we were doing. It was the right fit for the location on that property, and it is just not the willer. And why should he have two properties that are the same? It's a very different, a very different property and it was a very modern new build, and I finally got the guts to call him, and it was the complete opposite. He's you hit the nail on the head. That's how you say in English, right? Yes. And I couldn't believe it. I was like shocked. After that experience. I'm like, Miriam, you should not be afraid. It is not, they're not always calling you because there's a problem. They do call you also when things go well, and I just learned that just answer the call. Also, I think if you don't answer, if there's a problem, time just makes it worse. The sooner you can address anything, the better you of you are. That took a long time for me to learn. That comes from experience, right? So no, this all has been evolved. Every day I learn something.

Lan Elliott:

But you have a lot of clients that work with you again and again. The cars are a good example of that. Host is another great example that works on a lot of projects with you, and I think that's a reflection of how you work with your clients and that relationship building that you do.

Miriam Torres:

I believe that. As a design firm or any firm doesn't make any sense to be out there constantly looking for new clients. One thing we have focused on, and this is from the beginning, if you do a good job, they give you another job the next year and the next year, and and understand how they work. And what are the important things to them? It makes our job so much easier that every time with a new client to understand how they want the process and how they work. And I see this often people out there searching and searching for new clients better just cultivate what you have. Do a really good job with them and the business. Just keep rolling. And I will say most of our clients, if we don't one hotel, it's because they only own one hotel, but we always do multiple hotels. I always love to send my client list to people because they long, and we do it by client purpose, not by brand.

Lan Elliott:

I love that. I love that. And the focus on your clients and really getting to know them and getting to know them over time. Yeah. I wanted to flip to the other side of running a business, and that is your teams, because a big part of leadership and building of businesses around how do you develop high performing teams and in addition to your teams being very talented. The people at Parker Torres tend to stay for a long time, which is unusual in this day and age. And I've heard your team even called you Mama Bear.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So

Lan Elliott:

what is it about your leadership style that resonates with your team members?

Miriam Torres:

I can't believe you heard that. I do. I'm very protective of everybody in my team. It is like a family. Barbara and I have extremely fortunate that everybody in our team has been 10, 15 years. And if somebody's new because they just started, but everybody's been there forever. I've been told by people in LinkedIn that they see it, they go to people's name and see how long they've been with us. It was very important to me from the beginning. To treat people, obviously with respect and the norm, and like it was never about us, like really being a money making machine. Just being in a place where people love what they do, especially in our business. But also I just think at one point. In my business, I recognized that I needed to let go, that they were experiencing enough, that they were talented enough that they've been with me long enough that they know. As much as I do or more, and I always felt like you at some point need to let go and let them excel and execute their job and not be micromanaging. Of course I can do this because they've been with me for that long. Maybe 14 years ago, I was having dinner with Alan Benjamin from Benjamin West after the model room of the Fairmont Copley. And I never forget this, he told me, which is another interesting thing, he said, just hire people smarter and more talented. Thank you. And I never forgot that. Never forgotten that. So another part of. What I do with my team is give the credit when it is the person who did the project. So we often finish a project or finish a presentation. And the client goes, Miriam, because I'm always the boys and the one in the center, right? Just my personality. I'm just drama. But I always look and say no. I didn't design this. And I always give the credit. So the person or the team, there could be four of them that work so hard, and I've done this for years. I never take the credit. I'm not the one designing every item in the project. And I, you'll realize how much these people appreciate that the client gets to see and understand who really was behind. The product that they got. So I think that has been very important, letting them go and do their thing and not micromanage them. And also give the credit where it is worth the people that actually did the work. It's not, it's all about me, many things, but in that one I'm okay to give it, give up a little bit.

Lan Elliott:

I love that. I know one of your non-negotiable is your wine at five o'clock, so Yeah. And for our audience, we are recording it at five o'clock, so I made sure she had a glasses of wine. I

Miriam Torres:

have a roset though, so it's funny because if I wanna work late, when I used to be in the office the person. Said at the front will bring me always a glass of champagne and potato chip so I could stay later.'cause that's what kept me there.

Speaker 2:

But I can't believe you. It's a small price

Lan Elliott:

to pay if your boss like really recognizes your work and, and talks about it with the clients and showcases your talent, and if your boss isn't all over, you micromanaging you. So I think it's a small price to pay to, to bring you a glass of wine. Yeah. At the end of the day, they, them feel

Miriam Torres:

empower in their job. It's important.

Lan Elliott:

Absolutely. Yeah. I think people wanna do a good job and that's the first instinct. I wanted to switch over to this idea of. Perfect versus effective because the pursuit of perfection is something that can hold people back. And I know I see a lot of women push themselves on their work to make it perfect. And maybe sometimes it would be better to focus on making sure what you did was effective, but rather than good point, rather than spending all that time on perfection, you could spend more time returning phone calls, developing relationships, really listening to the people you're working with and taking the time to be with people rather than sitting at your desk making your work. Perfect. And this perfection thing can also make someone a difficult boss to work with. And we've talked about our personal journeys with perfection, but how do you think about this now? How does it impact how you lead your team?

Miriam Torres:

I can't believe you brought this up. It is something that I never really thought about it, but. In depth. But looking back, I have evolved. My relationship with perfection has definitely evolved. I always wanted to be a perfectionist. It is a big problem, actually. It is. Many times actually holds you back and you're stuck. I think in our industry. You can, it never ends, right? So you need to set your set limits and understand that. Sometime there's not such things as perfect and you have to teach yourself in your head when it's time to stop because sometime you actually don't get the best benefit of it. It can take you to a negative space. So I think for me, I have tried to change and think. Not so much about perfection, but in my head about how I could be more embraced to be a little bit excellent, but not to be to a point that it holds you back to, to find, I guess you stuck in a process. You actually get stuck in a process and you need to be able. To move on and finalize it. And by perfection, you're holding your team back. It's not only you, it becomes a bigger problem. And I tell you at the beginning that I had that problem, and it's often in my head because sometime I step back and I say, it's fantastic, I can work on this forever. It's like kinda sculpture, right? You are gonna do a sculpture and you can be working on it for the rest of your life, and at some point you have to realize. It needs to stop. I don't think I have completely perfection, getting rid of perfection. Does that make sense? I haven't been able to do it, but I try every day. I try.

Lan Elliott:

I do think also in what you do, it's one thing to work on a spreadsheet and go, okay, I think I got all the information I need in there, and I think I have the right conclusion. What you do is so artistic with design and how do you know when you're done? How do you know when you say, okay, this is where we need to stop. How do you tell your teams this is a good place to stop?

Miriam Torres:

I think sometime is the action we're gonna do this. And it is from here to here, and we have from this date to this date and list, dual list. These are the actions and the goals we need. And when we get here, we stop. If our DD presentation in a certain date obviously there's something really wrong. I'm not gonna stop. I will stay up all night. But at some point you I get very personal with my job. And I think at some point you need to let it go. These are not my homes. I wanna give them the best, what, in 10 years somebody's gonna redo it. That's what I learned

Speaker 2:

too.

Lan Elliott:

So I That is a great perspective. As a designer, you can make it like a piece of art, but in 10 years someone's gonna rip it all out and start over again with a new guest room, right? So it's just

Miriam Torres:

get your plan and go into action and give yourself those boundaries. It's easy for me to tell you this right now. If you asked me this 20 years ago, I'd be like,

Speaker 2:

oh, it has to be perfect,

Miriam Torres:

right? As you develop and you mature, things change as how you run your business,

Lan Elliott:

and what you do isn't just making the most beautiful thing, right? You're also working within a budget for your client within a timeline, and you have to hit certain dates. If you. Miss the window. They can't renovate their hotel during low season, so you don't always have the luxury to keep moving your dates back.

Miriam Torres:

Our clients are more, they're more concerned about my budget and my schedule than the design, my clientele, because a lot of them are. And so that our first thing when we meet is that what is the budget and what is the schedule? It's never, it's what is it gonna look like? So I think we never miss deadlines. We always produce very strong set of specifications syndrome. And I do, I will say we're known for very good documentation. You can have a beautiful space, but if the client was so over budget and it took them double the time to get there, they won't hire you again. So I think people don't understand how important documentation is. And I think I will say that's my business partner. Barbara was the one who started that in our office. We were very different. We the yin and yang, and they created dramatic. Crazy Puerto Rican, and she's like the very, I'm the hurricane of the team and she's a very stable balance. Cool. As a cucumber. And she just runs, she keeps the machine running. And she kept the schedules and the budget. So I think. One thing that has been really good for us is that we have both. It's really hard as a creative person to have that side of the brain. She's the engineer, I'm the artist, and I think if I didn't have her. We would never be as successful. It is, it's an incredible balance. And we were very lucky how we ended up being together to, and the clients do say that to us. You have a very good balance. So I always tell people, partnerships are so important, make or break business.

Lan Elliott:

And I think finding a partner that can balance the things, that maybe you're more this and they're more that. And then it ends up being a great balance. Yes. I wanted to talk about imposter syndrome. This is something that I think a lot of us deal with, the critic in your head where that noise makes us doubt ourselves and our skills makes us feel like we're imposters or like we don't belong in the room. Have you handled imposter syndrome? How? How do you Big time. How do you do that? Big time?

Miriam Torres:

I experienced that, especially when you step into a new responsibility. A new project and you're in a big room full of gentleman and all these people, I've always questioned myself and I give the presentation and either we get the job because we're interviewing or we give a presentation, we present in a new project and either we get the job or they say. It is beautiful and I walked out and the first thing I will tell somebody, like my partner's, like I faked it. You know what I mean? I faked it for years, but I actually read a book that really helped me and have perspective. On this it's called Leaning In by Shirley sandberg. Cheryl Sandberg, yes. Yes. And it, I read this like a long, when it came out a long time ago, but one of the chapter talked about this and I didn't realize had the syndrome. It was when I read it, I'm like, oh my God, I have that. And what I learned from her is I would not be there and done so well. Without my experience, without my expertise, and I am valid to be in that situation, but I have to remind myself with that. I'm like, I'm here because I have the experience. I have the validation. They would've never call me. But I don't know, I don't know if it's the woman thing, but I will be in rooms and I, every time I finish, I'm like, I faked it. But I, now looking back, I did. It is just a very interesting thing. But that book really helped me. It really did.

Lan Elliott:

And so you don't think that anymore. You walk in and you go, I know what I'm talking about now. I

Miriam Torres:

walked in. Yeah. Now I walked in. I know more than you do.

Lan Elliott:

I love how that book helped you conquer that feeling of faith in it. It was the fear. Yes.

Speaker 2:

It gives me because you were doing

Lan Elliott:

pitches all the time, right? You're walking into a room with your design and I think. Pitching a design is so vulnerable compared to, negotiating a number. Exactly. A design is so much more a reflection of you and it's so

Miriam Torres:

objective, right?

Lan Elliott:

Yeah. So

Miriam Torres:

objective. But that book gave me the strength and the confide. It was like a chapter in the book, but I, and I didn't even know I had the syndrome. Now I'm like, oh my God, I do that every time. Isn't it interesting that you thought of that to ask me that? I love that.

Lan Elliott:

I'm glad that book was so helpful, and so our audience who might be struggling with it can go find Cheryl Sandberg's, lean in and check it out as well. Miriam, I have a question. That is one of my favorite questions that we ask all our guest advisors, and that is what advice would you give to your younger self, or what would you tell 22-year-old Miriam? What would you want her to know?

Miriam Torres:

I think to me, how to solve problems. I think my biggest challenge when I was young, because I was actually doing everything, the specification and the design. I found when a problem came, it was like the whole project was gonna fall apart and my I was gonna be fired. And when you're young, you don't understand that actually, what I've learned from my client is that they respect you so much when a problem comes and you hit it right away and can come up with a solution. It is actually turned some time into a positive because they like, you know what, we can work with her because she fixed it. You know what I mean? And there will always be problem, but the more important thing is. To be able to, how to address it quickly, not costing them time or money, but I didn't think about that took a long time. And that came just really with experience. I used to have fall apart, like crumble. And now I just go, okay, what I have to do, how fast, what is the solution? So I think that was one of the hardest thing for me when I was young, how to deal with problem and solving them. What I learned that I've turned it into a positive because clients now always think I can count on her to get it figured out. So I don't know if this is something that people will embrace, but it was really something that used to. Freak me out because that come from perfection, right?

Lan Elliott:

Yeah. It comes from working so hard to make sure it's perfect, that you don't know what to do when it's not perfect. And one of the things that took me a long time to learn is it's not necessarily whether you're gonna run into adversity because everyone runs into adversity one way or another. You're not judged on whether or not there's adversity. You're judged by how you respond to it and how you react to it. And I think finding a way to solve problems when they come up. You can't always avoid every problem out there, but finding a way to resolve it and knowing that you're a problem solver is such a great skill for the client.

Miriam Torres:

It is a positive skill. It is. So turn something negative into a positive. But when I was young, I didn't think that way. I thought the world was gonna end.

Lan Elliott:

The world didn't end. You just got better at dealing with handling and overcoming obstacles. Miriam, we are coming to the end of our conversation. This

Speaker 2:

was fast.

Lan Elliott:

It was fun. I've got one more question for you because you shared so much great advice already. Based on your journey and what you've learned along the way, do you have one final nugget of advice for our audience who are looking to advance their careers? What would you share with'em?

Miriam Torres:

I have a bunch of things, but I think one that is very different and unique that I be become very good at, and I think people don't think about it, is how to connect people. How to connect people by connecting people. I have gotten a lot of clients by making personal connections. By connecting other people have come to me. I don't think people realize. Don't stay in your office. Don't stay in your home, especially in these days. I'm always out there connecting with people. It's incredible when I'm talking to somebody that they might have a project or their friends have a project, or I'm introducing you to a friend and then we find out they have a hotel. The power of connecting with people versus only being working from home and especially with the young generation. I think is lacking and it's something that I think it's not just about working, right? That's what I'm saying. It's the connection because all these people working eventually will wanna bring business to the company. So if you don't meet people and you don't have all these connections in the industry, as you move up the ladder, that's what you actually need the most. To be connected to all the people in the industry. And I don't know how these young generation think that they're gonna connect. I think you need to be out there. So I say this to the young generation. Get out of the house, get out of your shell and try to connect. And the more people you meet every day, give yourself a goal. How many people you gonna meet this week? It will advance your career. I'm not talking about knowledge, I'm not talking only about work is connecting and meeting people. And in all type of the part of the industry. It could be the banker, it could be the developer, it could be it just the contractor or the lighting representative E. Everybody's connected. It's a big web and you need to be out there connecting with people that to me is something I would like to give to the young generation.

Lan Elliott:

I love that. Don't stay in your office making your work perfect. Yes, make sure it's effective and it's great, but then take your time to go out and spend time with people and get to know people. And I love the part of connecting people. When you meet someone, you go, oh, you really need to know this person. And you can connect to like-minded people. I think that's a really valuable, you can get so much business by connecting with people

Miriam Torres:

or mentorship too. Absolutely.

Lan Elliott:

Absolutely. Thank you Miriam. So appreciate you coming on our show and sharing your wisdom and experience. I really appreciate you and all you do to help others in the industry, which I know you do a lot of, so thank you very much.

Miriam Torres:

I'm honored that you asked me and it was a pleasure. Let's do it again.

Lan Elliott:

We can always have a glass of wine.

Speaker 2:

That's all right. That's perfect.

Lan Elliott:

Okay, and for the audience, if you've enjoyed this interview with Miriam, I hope you'll go to our website, it's personal stories.com, where you can find more interviews with hospitality industry leaders.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Ann. Talk to you soon.