How to Use Gratitude to Create Life Energy

Creating this episode was SO FUN.  My guest is Chris Schembra, a HUMAN CONNECTION & GRATITUDE SPEAKER - - and the Founder & Chief Question Asker at 7:47, a company that brings people together through orchestrated dinner events.  Chris has written two books – the Wall Street Journal Bestseller GRATITUDE THROUGH HARD TIMES, and his 2nd, GRATITUDE AND PASTA!  Chris is on a mission to cure the epidemic of loneliness and the crisis of disconnection in the modern workplace.  

HUGE, Right? 

A LinkedIn post by Chris caught my attention because he was sharing gratitude about an experience he had in Durango, Colorado – a place I love.

Then I learned that Chris has a life that’s ALL ABOUT GRATITUDE – HE SPEAKS ABOUT IT, HAS BUILT A REWARDING BUSINESS ABOUT IT. I’ve never been into the woo-woo aspects of gratitude, but I do think people in their 50s, 60s and beyond, like me, are EXPLORING just how they feel about their lives, and how they feel about their relationships with others.  Chris has insights based on observing conversations among thousands of people - and he offers tactics for how the Stubbornly Young can better connect with others.

Top Takeaways:

• Importance of gratitude, human connection, and energy in people's lives
• Strategies for creating authentic connections and meaningful conversations
• How to cure the epidemic of loneliness and the crisis of disconnection in the modern workplace
• Valuing time over money and the importance of investing in experiences that bring energy and fulfillment
• Energy as the ultimate currency in life and ways to invest in relationships, meaningful experiences, curiosity, and personal growth
• Embracing lifelong learning as essential for remaining generative and engaged in later years

Ponder and Share:

“Regardless of how old one is, we all have anxiety and uncertainty about a nonpredictable future. We all have regrets or positive memories from autobiographical experiences from our past and we have a tremendous inability to remain in the present to connect authentically and acknowledge our shared humanity.”

“When you're in your 50s, 60s, 70s, the only currency that will extend your life is energy. That's it. Making more money doesn't help you live longer. Saving more time doesn't help you live longer. Using time and money to help build up your energy reserves will.” 

“Between the ages of 45 and 60, you can either be stagnant or generative. Stagnant because you feel you've learned everything you need to learn or generative –I'm willing to learn more, I'm willing to teach others, I'm willing to invest in my curiosity.” 

–Chris Schembra

Check these out!

Chris Schembra on LinkedIn
7:47 website
The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute

About Chris Schembra

As an author of two bestselling books, including the Wall Street Journal bestseller 'Gratitude Through Hard Times,' Chris has collaborated with hundreds of remarkable organizations and industry associations, including giants like Goo

Read my Blog called Rules For Being Stubbornly Young and let me know what you think!

Email your thoughts at dave@stubbornlyyoung.com

Check out where it’s all happening on the Stubbornly Young website

Thanks and looking forward to hearing how you’re remaining stubbornly young!

Transcript

[INTRODUCTION]

Chris Schembra (00:00:02) - And so a lot of people in their 50s and 60s and 70s are probably thinking, I earn the money and time is super valuable, but how do I spend the time I have left and the money that I've earned in ways that expand my energy? Ask a simple question. What's one word that honestly describes how you feel right now, in this moment? Between the ages of 45 and 60, you can either be stagnant or generative. Stagnant because you feel you've learned everything you need to learn. Stagnant because you feel like you know all the people you already need to know, you've done all the things that you want to do; or generative, I'm willing to learn more, I'm willing to teach others, I'm willing to invest in my curiosity.

[INTERVIEW]

Dave Tabor (00:01:07) - Welcome to the Stubbornly Young podcast for people in their 50s, 60s and beyond who want to remain engaged in the world and relevant to the younger people in their lives. I'm Dave Tabor and this episode is going to be so fun. I've already been talking with my guest, Chris Schembra, a human connection and gratitude speaker, and he's also the Founder and Chief Question Asker at 7:47, a company, can you call it 7:47 or 7-4-7? 

Chris Schembra (00:01:34) - 7:47 works, 7-4-7 works. It doesn't really matter. 

Dave Tabor (00:01:38) - Okay. The important thing is that it's a company that brings people together through orchestrated events. Chris has written two books, the Wall Street Journal bestseller Gratitude Through Hard Times and his other book, Gratitude and Pasta. Chris is on a mission to cure the epidemic of loneliness and the crisis of disconnection in the modern workplace. Pretty huge. I met Chris through by catching him really on a LinkedIn post, because he was sharing gratitude about an experience he had in Durango, Colorado, which is a place I love. Then I learned that Chris has a life that's all about gratitude. He speaks about it. He's built a rewarding business around it. And, you know, I've never really been into the whole woo-woo aspect of gratitude, but I think people in their 50s, 60s and beyond, like me, are exploring kind of how they feel about their lives and how they feel about others in their lives. So, Chris, with all that, so glad you're on Stubbornly Young. 

Chris Schembra (00:02:35) - Dave, I'm so excited. And you know, I want to give gratitude to my friends, Carry Siggins and Ben Wright and Michael French and Sally Thornton. You know, without the four of them, I wouldn't have been invited out to Durango, Colorado in the first place, and I wouldn't have been able to participate in so many life-changing experiences in your beautiful state to make the LinkedIn post that leads us to, you know, to being here together.

Dave Tabor (00:03:01) - Brought us together. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad to be with you. And I'm going to start this conversation with what I learned from listening to Gratitude and Pasta, which is that when you bring people together, you ask one big standard question. What is that? Talk about it.

Chris Schembra (00:03:19) - Yeah. Dave, thank you for bringing that up. It's, you're going right to my heart to begin. So I love where this is going, to all our listeners, kind of the brief backstory is that I love hosting dinner parties. I love asking people meaningful questions.

Chris Schembra (00:03:36) - And in every meeting I take and every stage that I stand on and every dinner party that I host, we ask one specific, singular question. We've been asking this question since July 15th of 2015 and we've used it to spark over 500,000 relationships within the workplace ever since. Dave, and to all our listeners listening or watching, if you could give credit or thanks to one person in your life that you don't give enough credit or thanks to or that you've never thought to thank. Who would that be? Dave, who would yours be? 

Dave Tabor (00:04:19) - I wondered if you were going to ask me about that. You know, the nice thing is, and thanks for sharing that question. I thought about the obvious ones first, my grandfather, my wife, my kids, and yet somebody’s stuck in my mind because she's a fourth grade teacher who I thought when after I turned in a tremendous what I thought was a great paper gave me an F, and she said to me, Dave, you know what's in your head, but I don't.

Dave Tabor (00:04:46) - You've got to paint a picture for the people who are reading your words. And just a couple of days ago, I gave that same coaching advice to a woman on my team because that's not what she was. And so that little bit of advice has stuck with me my entire life. That's the only thing I remember from probably my entire elementary school time, was her advice about painting a picture with your words. And of course, I'd never thanked her, but I wish I could. That's it.

Chris Schembra (00:05:15) - Do you think she's still living?

Dave Tabor (00:05:16) - Oh, I don't know. I could never find her. I would never be able to find her because I wish I could, you know, but I doubt it.

Chris Schembra (00:05:23) - So it sounds like she taught you that sometimes we assume other people know or understand what we know within us, and therefore we don't make the effort to fully describe or teach what it is that could be taught. Is that right?

Dave Tabor (00:05:45) - Well, I didn't think about it with that level of depth. But yeah, I think that's true.

Chris Schembra (00:05:50) - Like, how many of you listening to this podcast right now are walking around this world thinking, assuming that other people know the knowledge that you have, the story you're trying to tell, that they already know what you're trying to say, and therefore you don't put in the effort to paint the appropriate picture with the level of depth needed for them to learn and connect and experience the emotion behind the story that you're trying to tell. It sounds like that teacher taught you that lesson right then and there.

Dave Tabor (00:06:23) - Yeah, and you know what I was thinking as you were explaining or asking that question to listeners, Chris, is, you know, I think we probably have the desire for other people to hear us. There's that question of like, you know, should I be preaching to somebody? Should I grab them by the throat and say, this is what I understand, and you need to understand it too, you know, or and of course, people who are stubbornly young have younger people in their lives who we know, the stubbornly young know, like, if I could only help you learn what I already learned. Right. But people aren't always in a place to receive it. So where does that, how do you cross that, what you were just asking?

Chris Schembra (00:07:04) - Yeah, there's probably a fine line. And by the way, I haven't organized my thoughts on this, so, and I'm not qualified to answer it because I'm still in my 30s. But, there's probably a fine line that people get to when they get to be in their 50s and 60s of, I've got a lot to say, but I still have a lot to learn. And so how do you strike the balance between the confidence in your learned experiences and the humility of being a lifelong learner? Yeah. I don't know where that fine line is for different people at different chapters, but you have to do both at once. You have to maintain the duality of life that I've a shit ton to gain, and I have a shit ton that I've experienced and how do I balance the two in a communication style?

Dave Tabor (00:07:51) - Yeah, yeah. You know, I think you're exactly right about that. And of course, that fine line is probably different depending on who one is interacting with.

Chris Schembra (00:07:59) - But going back to your answers, well, I love what you said about I thought about the obvious ones first. Right? The question was who have you not thanked not for who have you never thought to thank? And you immediately went to, you immediately said, I thought about the obvious ones first, and then I went one step deeper about never having thought to thank a non-obvious person in my life from 50 years ago, 50, 60 years ago, 55 years or whatever. So my question to the audience, as a, as a secondary thought to what you just said is how many things in your life are you doing that are just the obvious next thing to do? And how do we get to the deeper level of life so that we encourage you to break through that internal resistance and go out and do the non-obvious? How do you find what the non-obvious is within? And then how do you find the non-obvious strategy to break through your own internal resistance and stagnation in the next chapter of your life as a 50, 60, 70 year old?

Dave Tabor (00:09:06) - I know you're in your 30s, and that was one of the funny things we talked about before we even decided to do this. Like, Dave, I'm not in your demographic, but here's what's interesting to me about you, among many things, is that in all of these thousands, tens of thousands of conversations you've had, you've seen people of all ages engage. So are you seeing people in their 50s and 60s and beyond that, think of these questions differently, or that display thought around these things differently from, you know, the younger set?

Chris Schembra (00:09:40) - Regardless of how old one is, we all have anxiety and uncertainty about a nonpredictable future. We all have regrets or positive memories from autobiographical experiences from our past. And we have a tremendous inability to remain in the present to connect authentically and acknowledge our shared humanity. Every generation I've ever met on this planet struggles with all three of those things.

Dave Tabor (00:10:12) - As I mentioned, the whole stubbornly young idea came from my struggle with becoming older and deciding, you know, to what extent will I be relevant? To what extent do I want to consider like when I was 20 years ago, I didn't really consider my future in the same way that I consider it now, which has to do with the yeah, there's an end at some point. So how do I continue to stay vibrant? How do I continue to want to learn and remain engaged and relevant to the younger people in my life? So that's how I think about my struggle.

Chris Schembra (00:10:41) - So, you know, it sounds like life. Life is an energetic spectrum, and we're all searching for being relevant to the means.

Dave Tabor (00:10:50) - What does that mean?

Chris Schembra (00:10:51) - So when you're young, you're seeking how to be relevant to older people that can hire you or teach you or mentor you. Once you've maybe reached an energetic mean in life, I’m making this up on the spot, by the way, but yeah, once you've reached an energetic mean, you're figuring out how to stay there. And then once you're older, you're trying to figure out how to get back there or stay relevant back to it. So there's like an energetic mean of life that we're all pursuing, having relevance in accordance to.

Dave Tabor (00:11:22) - I'm going to come back to that whole notion of energy, energetic and everything. And that's in the end of my outline. So before I get there, though, I want to ask you for some specific stuff. I want to dive into some of the specific things you talk about, or at least that I took from Gratitude and Pasta, for example, I mean, you create these experiences where, say, 18 people come together and kind of go deep in vulnerable ways about gratitude in their life and such. But let's say you're not in a scenario like that, and we're speaking with each other in just normal life. Are there ways that you've explored or you've learned through what you learned through, you know, the dinners that we could consider to do a better job relating to one another?

Chris Schembra (00:12:04) - Absolutely. Oh, God, Where do I begin? You know, as referenced to the listeners of what Dave was just talking about. I've hosted a metric ton of 18 person dinners, a metric, metric ton of 18 person dinners. And so I've learned about human behavior in small group settings at quite a rapid pace, a deep and rapid pace. I mean, these dinner parties that Dave was referencing about that we started doing in July 15th of 2015, where the signature gratitude question started. These dinner parties aren't just like your grandma's dinner. This is like we work together to create the meal. We have a shared group experience. We lower down the barriers to entry. We all answer these questions and I facilitate conversations and we all cry and we all love each other and we leave. We have entered as a group of 18 strangers. We leave like family, like brothers and sisters, like uncles and cousins. And so I've learned a thing or two about life just in observing those dynamics. With that being said, now we get to learn from producing 100-person, medium sized group experiences. We learn from how people react when we give these multi thousand person keynote speeches. We learn working with some of the world's biggest companies at the executive leadership level, helping them design programs that solve the crisis of disconnection in the epidemic of loneliness within the workplace.

Chris Schembra (00:13:39) - So the data that I'm about to share with you is not just from 18-person dinners, it's from building huge programs with Microsoft, Google, IBM, Dell, United States government, and more. And yeah, I guess there's a couple things that I've learned. People are entitled as shit and can't get out of their own way, which creates disconnection. People live in a world of comparison and envy and jealousy and that robs us of disconnection. And people are plagued by the negative mental attitude associated with living in a plague of ingratitude. And that creates disconnection.

Dave Tabor (00:14:25) - That's all pretty heavy stuff. 

Chris Schembra (00:14:27) - I can start with those three and go from there.

Dave Tabor (00:14:30) - Yeah. All right. Well let me ask you. That's pretty heavy stuff. So if I am aware of that and I'm out, I decided I want to do better at communicating. Want to do better creating connection with others. What do I do differently? You know, without asking someone to walk up to somebody and say, bury your soul.

Chris Schembra (00:14:49) - You changed the way you show up in the world, and that allows them to then have the psychological safety and trust in a conversation.

Dave Tabor (00:15:00) - To paint the picture on this. You know, the idea, like, you know, does that mean that when I'm talking to somebody, I'm more open, I'm more honest, I'm more a little more vulnerable, that implies permission to change that so instead of when I meet somebody, it's like, what do you do? It's something else.

Chris Schembra (00:15:17) - Let me give you the example narrative. The fictional narrative of one of my favorite books of all time. It's called The Anatomy of Peace. It's written by a damn institute, like it's written by a collective of smart people called The Arbinger Institute. And it's the fictional story of six sets of parents dropping their kids off to a wilderness treatment facility in the woods of Southwestern America. Kind of like Colorado, Utah, New Mexico area. By the way, I went to one of those wilderness rehabs in the woods of Utah. This rehab was started by an Israeli Jew and a Palestinian Arab. Ooh.

Dave Tabor (00:16:11) - Yeah. Something today.

Chris Schembra (00:16:12) - This book's 20 years old. This book's 20 years old. And, you know, the Israeli Jews father was killed by the Palestinian Arabs cousins. And the Palestinian Arabs father was killed by the Israeli Jews cousins. And the parents have to spend two days with the rehab owners. And one of the parents, who's like a successful CEO person in their 50s, 60s, 70s, looks at the two rehab owners and says. God, I can't wait to spend the next two days figuring out how you're going to fix my kid. The two rehab owners say, well, we're not going to do that for the next two days. We're going to spend the next two days talking about you. He said. Me? Why me? I'm not the problem. My kid's the problem. They said, yeah, but in order to see the change you want to see in others, your kid, first you have to make the change within yourself. Anyways, the whole book is essentially saying in order to get the desired type of connection and conversation and growth and learning and whatever from whoever you're trying to get it from. 

Chris Schembra (00:17:31) - You got to clean up your side of the street first and show up into that occasion with better questions and empathy and connection and learning and all these things. So that invites them to feel safe enough to reciprocate with you.

Dave Tabor (00:17:48) - That's cool. I wonder, like when you go meet new people, I mean, when we initially started this conversation you were exploring, you had some probative questions for me, like, hey, do you know so-and-so? Or, you know, tell me about what you're up to, what your job is about. But it didn't feel cursory. But are there questions that you typically or an approach that you typically use that you've learned over the years that helps you break down walls and create comfort with new people you're meeting?

Chris Schembra (00:18:16) - Totally. I mean, I can go directly into tactics if you want.

Dave Tabor (00:18:21) - Yeah.

Chris Schembra (00:18:22) - I'll walk you guys through, a concept we design called inquisitive empathy.

Dave Tabor (00:18:28) - Well, you know, and hold on that for one second. I have a motive for asking that question. And here's my motive. My wife, Sheryl, and I are wondering, like, one day we may not live on the same cul de sac with our same neighbors. One day we might move and we're scared. We're scared because going to an entirely new neighborhood, meet new people that we don't know. We don't. We haven't done that for a generation. And so that's my motive for asking this question, like now, like starting from scratch. How do we, you know, do that without circumstantial whatever. So anyway, there's my motive.

Chris Schembra (00:19:05) - Wow. So a lot of the people that are listening to this podcast are probably going through the similar things, which is I feel stagnant. I'm in my empty nest. We might need to shake shit up. We might need to go move. Right? Sell the big home in the country, go move to a townhome in the city, maybe change states completely, be closer to the kids, start a new friend group, whatever. The biggest thing that I can say about that is listen to the words that I just said.

Chris Schembra (00:19:34) - You're probably stagnant right now. Right. You're at the end of your career. You've learned a ton in life. You've met all the people you could ever want to know in life. You've kind of done it. You're stagnant. And you need to flip the switch in your brain to say, nope, it's time to go learn more, meet new people, teach others, be generative. Be reinvigorated in a new setting. Oh my gosh. Well, first off, I want to say you are probably sitting with a tremendous amount of anxiety and uncertainty and overwhelm and fear of the unknown that could come tomorrow through this big life decision. If you're listening to this podcast and you agree with what I just said, I want to first start and say you're not alone. Young kids have that same uncertainty and anxiety. Middle aged people have that same uncertainty and anxiety. Old people have that same uncertainty and anxiety. The first step of connecting more authentically to new people in your next chapter is by acknowledging you're not special,

you're not unique. You haven't been through bigger trauma than other people. You're not superior than other people. You're going through the same emotions that everybody else in this world is going through right now. Anxiety. Overwhelm. Uncertainty. Loneliness. Disconnection. Stagnation. And the minute that you start accepting that. And the minute that you start learning strategies, how to help others acknowledge that they're going through that as well. You will find the most meaningful moments of human connection within an instant you've ever felt.

Dave Tabor (00:21:22) - That. So as a tactic. Based on what you just said, Chris, what might one say to another to create that instant connection?

Chris Schembra (00:21:34) - Ask a simple question. What's one word that honestly describes how you feel right now, in this moment? And then you take out your phone and you set a six minute timer, and I want you to do three things. One, turn on the brain to actively listen. There's a lot of really good talkers in this world. I want you to listen more than you speak.

Chris Schembra (00:21:58) - Number two, open up the heart for empathy and non-judgmental connection. Whatever they say. Sit with it. Empathize with it. Step into the feelings and perspectives of the person that you're in conversation with and just be. Number three ask, Really good, thought provoking, open ended follow up questions, not questions that end in a yes or no, but questions that start with a how or what. If you do that by setting a six minute timer. And ask someone those amazing questions. And then letting them ask you those amazing questions. Y'all will literally find so many things in common. Three things can occur. Either both your starting emotions are positive and positive. Like maybe their word is excited and your word is hopeful. Great positive meets positive creates a positive, contagious upward spiral. Cool. If your word was negative and their word was negative, they're anxious. You're nervous. You talked it out. You realize you're not alone. You validated each other's emotion. That creates a positive upward spiral. Or maybe their word was negative and your word was positive, and you learned empathy. You learn different perspectives. You could be going through the same thing in life, but you could see it from a different perspective, meaning you have a lot to learn about, not assuming you understand how anybody else around you feels until you just ask them.

Dave Tabor (00:23:38) - That's cool. I like that, Thank you. I want to ask you about another topic that kind of caught my attention in your book, and that you said time is no longer the greatest commodity, energy is. People will spend money and time to build energy. I had never heard that. I thought, this is brilliant. Talk about that.

Chris Schembra (00:23:57) - When you were younger. You? Probably. Thought to yourself, I will sacrifice as much time as humanly possible. In order to save money, I will go, right, I will go take the subway for $2.50 into Manhattan from Brooklyn to go to Trader Joe's to save $63 on my groceries and then come back. You will have spent six hours going to Trader Joe's to save $63.

Chris Schembra (00:24:35) - Either you’re time or your money was more valuable than your time. Now. Somewhere along the way, you grew up a little bit and you started earning cold, hard cash. And all of a sudden you said. Wow. I'd rather pay the premium in money in order to save some time. I'd rather buy that expensive plane ticket at Thanksgiving for a two hour flight, rather than spend 12 hours in the car. I'd rather hire someone to go wait in line at my favorite shoe store. Then wait in line. At that point, your time is more valuable than money. But then what I think happens next. Is that you realized you will spend an inordinate amount of time, and you will spend an inordinate amount of money in order to gain the commodity of energy. And here's an example of that. My buddy, Steven and my friend Steven, Anita, who just had their first child a couple days ago. They were having, a wedding in Israel last year. November of 2022. And they invited myself and my partner Molly to that wedding.

Chris Schembra (00:26:09) - And I said, oh my God. A spiritual journey to Israel. At a really low period of my life is exactly what the heart needed at the moment. But oh my God, it's likely going to cost me ten days of my time and tens of thousands of dollars. None of that money or time meant anything. In relation to the spiritual energy and connection and purpose and mission and stories and curiosity that I would find by introducing my partner Molly and revisiting Israel myself in that way. And so a lot of people. In their 50s and 60s and 70s are probably thinking. I earned the money. And time is super valuable.

Dave Tabor (00:27:10) -

Chris Schembra (00:27:11) - But how do I spend the time I have left and the money that I've earned in ways that expand my energy. Abundant energy. How do we invest in relationships? Meaningful experiences. Curiosity. Play life. Learning to build up my energy reserves by using the abundance of money and time that we have right now. Yeah, or the abundance of money finitude of time creates abundant energy.

Dave Tabor (00:27:50) - Yeah. You know, I think about these things like, you know, things that I'll be willing to do or spend money on for, like a rush that gives me passion. You know? And they, they sort of stay with me. They bring back, they bring back little rushes of adrenaline or dopamine or whatever the case that just made me feel good and excited and happy in ways that, you know, it is I think you pointed out its energy.

Chris Schembra (00:28:17) - Yeah. For instance, let me go back to the dinner table. Let me go back to dinner parties. I could Either. Host a cocktail party for two hours. The costs. Low time investment and low money investment. Or I could host a dinner party Four hours. But. Just cater the whole thing. Which didn't cost me my time, but it still cost me money. Or I could spend a whole freaking week. Going to farmers markets, going to local artisans. Foraging food.

Chris Schembra (00:29:08) - Gathering people together. Spending the entire day cooking. Spending more money. Getting those local artisanal products. Fund the local artisanal bakers and foragers and everything. Spending more money, spending more time for a dinner party that heals my soul. And those are the kind of things.

Dave Tabor (00:29:34) - Yeah. Do they still have the same impact that they did at the beginning? I mean don't you have to do other things now to get jazzed and feel energy.

Chris Schembra (00:29:42) - Oh of course like drive a motorcycle or fly to Durango or go to a Reiki energy healer or, you know, go spend time mentoring you know, my partner's new business. I don't know, other things bring me joy. I just used the dinner table as an example, but for instance, yeah I don't know. So when you're in your 50s, 60s, 70s the only currency that will extend your life is energy. That's it. Making more money doesn't help you live longer. Saving more time doesn't help you live longer. Using time and money to help build up your energy reserves will.

Chris Schembra (00:30:29) - Saving more time doesn't help you live longer. Using time and money to help build up your energy reserves will.

Dave Tabor (00:30:38) - Yeah. I mean, I have nine rules of being stubbornly young. One of them is trying new things. You know, that's I don't know if I'm ever going to jump out of an airplane or not. I haven't ruled it out. But it's not calling to me. But at the same time, there are lots of new things I want to try. And, that I am. And, you're reaching for a book.

Chris Schembra (00:30:57) - Yeah. My friend Bridget and Joe wrote a book called Experiential Billionaire Building a Life Rich in Experiences and Die with No Regrets. It’s the art and science and path to building a life and rich experiences.

Dave Tabor (00:31:13) - That sounds super cool.

Chris Schembra (00:31:15) - Yeah, she talks about turning negatives into positives, the cave you fear the radical, take radical responsibility, unlock the vault of lifelong learning. Right? That's where your listeners are going through right now. Yeah, they're going through the Erick Erickson has something called the nine Stages of Psychosocial Development, where he talks about how at different stages of your life, you can either be this or that, this or that, this or that.

Chris Schembra (00:31:44) - Between the ages of 45 and 60, you can either be stagnant or generative. Stagnant because you feel you've learned everything you need to learn, stagnant because you feel like you know all the people you already need to know. You've done all the things that you want to do or generative. I'm willing to learn more. I'm willing to teach others. I'm willing to invest in my curiosity. Joe and Bridget's book do just that.

Dave Tabor (00:32:11) - So last question for you. As we kind of wrap up, for sure, you are the gratitude guru in quotes recognized worldwide. So what should we be thinking about in general, whether my audience or generally in today's world? As you leave us through this podcast episode about gratitude.

Chris Schembra (00:32:31) - I will quote some dude from 2000 years ago. Marcus Aurelius.

Dave Tabor (00:32:40) - Yeah.

Chris Schembra (00:32:40) - Marcus Aurelius was a stoic philosopher. He was emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 A.D..He was adopted. He was emperor through Rome's great period of class divide, social warfare, fighting foreign wars, running out of money, the Antonine Plague. His wife died, all his kids died. And he started just riding towards the end of his life, had no intention of this riding going anywhere. But one of the great quotes that he writes about, his writings were his journals were found and then they were actually turned into a book that's older than the Bible. Meditations was from a long time ago. But there's a quote that dwells not on what you lack so much as what you already have. Select the best of what you have and consider how passionately you would have longed for it had it not been yours. So if you're if you're listening to this podcast and you're 50, 60, 70 years old, you've accrued stories or wealth or relationships or whatever. Take one thing that you got and realized how much you would have yearned to have it in your life as a youngster and realize you fucking did it. You earned it. And it wasn't luck. Right?

Dave Tabor (00:34:16) - What a great note to end on. 

Chris Schembra (00:34:19) - Yeah. It wasn't, it wasn't nothing but your hard earned blessings and the values that you've received from others. That is worth being grateful for.

Dave Tabor (00:34:29) - Wow. Let's end on that note, Chris. Yeah. What a great note to end on. I'm your host, Dave Tabor, today on the Stubbornly Young podcast. You've been listening to my conversation. Fun, cool conversation with Chris Schembra speaker, author, and master of gratitude. Chris, I'm so glad we got together.

Chris Schembra (00:34:49) - Dave, thank you for having me on. I learned so much through our conversation and I'm glad we had quite the riff.

Dave Tabor (00:34:56) - Yeah, it was fun. Listeners, this has been episode 11 of the Stubbornly Young podcast for those in their 50s, 60s and beyond, remaining engaged in the world and relevant to the younger people in their lives. Hey, in the spirit of gratitude, if you like this episode, please do me a favor. Do Chris a favor. Share the podcast, submit a review, and encourage your friends to listen to Stubbornly Young. Catch you next time. Chris, Thanks again. What a fun time.

t

Chris Schembra (00:35:25) - Thank you pal.

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]