How to be an EXPERIENTIAL BILLIONAIRE

"People regret most what they don't try, not what they tried and failed."
Joe Huff, co-author, The Experiential Billionaire

So, you aren't a financial millionaire.  I learned to appreciate that that's less important than being an experiential billionaire! 

Chris Schembra - the "Gratitude Guru," mentioned the book "The Experiential Billionaire" during Episode 11 of Stubbornly Young.  I loved the title and asked if he'd introduce me to the authors.  That's how I found myself having a fulfilling and thought provoking conversation with Bridget Hilton and Joe Huff, co-authors.  I wondered why do so many people have "skydiving" on their experience bucket list and then not do it?  Are some of us shaping our dreams of experiences based on what seems exciting more than what would be meaningful and compelling for us?  This led to a condensed exploration (read the book!) of what will make us truly feel like an experiential billionaire, and how to get there.

Top Takeaways:

• Embracing a life filled with rich experiences
• Cultivating a journey of meaningful endeavors
• Crafting  significant milestones
• Overcoming obstacles in the quest for fulfillment
• The concept of being an experiential billionaire
• Valuing life's experiences above material possessions
• Harmonizing life's adventures with everyday duties
• The enriching effect of shared experiences
• The synergy of personal satisfaction and contributing to the lives of others
• The importance of lifelong learning and exploration

Ponder and Share:

“It's about overcoming fear and taking action. So many of the things that you want in your life are only not happening because you're afraid. You're afraid to take action.” –Joe Huff

“The most fulfilling thing in the world is giving to others.” –Bridget Hilton

“We all have regrets, one thing or another. But the idea is that what we really regret isn't what we failed at, it's what we didn't try.” –Dave Tabor

“I definitely don't think there's like an age limit for just about anything because learning new things just expands your identity.” –Joe Huff

Check these out!
Joe Huff’s website
Bridget Hilton’s website
Experiential Billionaires website
Chris Schembra 

About Joe Huff
Joe is a leading expert on life experiences and their proven connection to personal and professional growth, peak performance, mental and physical health, happiness and fulfillment, meaningful relationships, and belonging.


About Bridget Hilton
Bridget is a leading expert on the art, science, and path to becoming rich in life experiences. Growing up in Flint, MI, she used her love of music as inspiration and hustled her way into the largest record label in the world as a teenager - helping to launch some of today's biggest careers in music. She founded the first social good electronics company, LSTN Sound Co., sold millions of produ

Read my Blog called Rules For Being Stubbornly Young and let me know what you think!

Email your thoughts at dave@stubbornlyyoung.com

Check out where it’s all happening on the Stubbornly Young website

Thanks and looking forward to hearing how you’re remaining stubbornly young!

Transcript

[INTRODUCTION]

Joe Huff (00:00:02) - Every day you can practice learning Italian on an app. You can make pasta, you can make pizza. You can have new experiences that enrich your life, that are really small, really easy, not super time consuming, not expensive, that lead into these bigger goals.

Bridget Hilton (00:00:21) - We just realized, like we would have taken those experiences over any amount of money, any amount of like, you know, physical goods. Like there's just no comparison. That gives you the urgency to say, like, why am I not doing any of the things that are important to me?

Joe Huff (00:00:42) - The regret that people have for the end of their life is all the things they never tried. It's not the stuff they tried and failed. It's the stuff that they never actually took a shot at because they don't know. They don't know what would have happened, what they could have done, or they could have become.

[INTERVIEW]

Dave Tabor (00:00:57) - Welcome to the Stubbornly Young podcast. For people in their 50s, 60s and beyond who want to remain engaged in the world and relevant to the younger people in their lives. I'm Dave Tabor, and this episode is based on a book recommended by Chris Schembri in Episode 11. The book is called Experiential Billionaire Build a Life Rich in Experiences and Die with No Regrets. Authors Bridget Hilton and Joe Huff are my guests on this episode. So cool and thanks to Chris for connecting us. As part of reading Experiential Billionaire, I stopped almost at the very beginning. I stopped reading it to start building a spreadsheet list of what feels to me are key experiences in my life, experiences that already make me feel like an experiential billionaire, and that makes me encouraged to consider what's next, what better way. And what a privilege to discuss this topic with the book's authors, Bridget and Joe. Glad you're joining me here on Stubbornly Young.

Joe Huff (00:01:57) - Thanks for having us.

Bridget Hilton (00:01:58) - Thanks for having us.

Dave Tabor (00:01:59) - I've been looking forward to this for weeks and I've been talking about it with friends, talking about your book with friends. We're all pretty jazzed about it. So let's start with the origin story, sort of this whole notion behind being an experiential billionaire.

Joe Huff (00:02:14) - Leading up to my adolescent years, I had a pretty rough go, but in high school, I actually got kicked out of high school. I more or less was kind of on the wrong path. And I think a lot of people can identify with, you know, that story, or at least being pretty confused about, you know, life and what it's about. And when they're at that age. And what saved me was something that I think we hear these stories kind of a lot also is a near-death experience in my family happened. And, you know, that really woke me up. It really shook me. It gave me this urgency that I didn't actually have a guarantee on how much time that I have in my life to actually, you know, fulfill my goals and live my dreams.

Dave Tabor (00:02:55) - At the time, did you feel as though, Joe, that you were really chasing experiences? Did you feel that or you just, like, didn't know what you wanted to do? So you're trying a bunch of stuff?

Joe Huff (00:03:06) - Yeah. You know, I would say a bit of both. I didn't have the resources I didn't have, I really didn't have the money, and I had a limited ability. I was like, how many connections or anything like that. So it was more of like, what could I do to fill up my time because I was aware of the time constraint of life suddenly, right? So it was experiences. But what was really interesting is as I did those things, they gave me the confidence to try more things. And then the more things I did, the more people I met and the more people I met, the more doors opened to try more new things. And that's when I really started to understand. I think the value of life is about our experiences, and then the connections that we make throughout those experiences.

Dave Tabor (00:03:48) - Yeah. You know what's interesting to me? And I'm looking we hadn't met before we got together to do this episode, and you're clearly younger than I am, as is Bridget. And what I took from the title. And Bridget, you can jump right in here. But what I took from the title is more of a sort of a contemplative notion of, hey, we're seeing like, we've reached a point in our lives where we're starting to say, you know, how do I want to explore what's left? Right? And you're both way younger than I would have expected. Related to this topic, Bridget, what am I missing here?

Joe Huff (00:04:18) - Maybe, maybe. 

Bridget Hilton (00:04:19) - Maybe. But, guess our ages. Nondescript.

Joe Huff (00:04:22) - Yeah. 

Dave Tabor (00:04:24) - Yeah. I mean, Bridget, what do you think about that? I mean, that's what it struck me as, but I may have missed. Based on what you said, I may have been missing it altogether.

Bridget Hilton (00:04:31) - I mean, I think it's both. I think that, you know, we work with a lot of people that are older and they're seeing that, you know, for the first time in their life, they're like, oh, this is what really matters.

Bridget Hilton (00:04:40) - And I'm going to spend the rest of my life feeling that way. But it's also extremely impactful to work with the young people and like people that are in college, for example, we do a lot of speaking at universities. And to get them before they kind of go down this path and waste a lot of their time, just chasing the things and just chasing them money versus like living in the now. Like I think that's just as impactful as, like somebody that's older, you know, it's interesting. 

Dave Tabor (00:05:07) - Yeah. So I mentioned in the intro that I started building right away. All of a sudden it was like excited to build this spreadsheet of what's, what have I done already in my life that makes me feel like I'm already an experiential billionaire. And so I made this list, which was super inspiring to me. And then my wife made a list, and she was thinking of things that I hadn't thought of that we had done together, and vice versa.

Dave Tabor (00:05:27) - But as you think about it being an experiential, I mean, does that make sense to you to like, reflect backwards as well as forward around this whole notion of being an experiential billionaire?

Bridget Hilton (00:05:38) - Yeah. What’s funny is that I originally didn't even think of that. But then I had like, multiple people, like you say that, like I wrote down what I mean, after they wrote the book or after they read the book, they were like, okay, I'm gonna write down all the things that were the most valuable, which is funny because like when we did this big survey of when we were writing the book, we did a survey of 20,000 people. And one of the questions was, what did you value the most in your life? And that was like, you know, confirms the thesis of the book that people don't value the things, they don't value the bank and cast they value the experience that they have. So, yeah, I mean, you're right on track for sure.

Dave Tabor (00:06:13) - Well, I was looking at some of the things, and they almost like the things I sort of created like a bar.

Dave Tabor (00:06:19) - And I'm like, okay, things above this bar are things I'm going to consider as part of, sort of this experiential billionaire aspect of my life. And so those were things that tended to give me a shot of dopamine. Like when I thought about it, I smiled and other things. I was sort of under that bar. So, you know, like I spent a years as an NFL mascot, that was like a dopamine hit. And I thought about it. You know, I dove super deep in Belize. That was like it gave me a dopamine hit to think about it. And there's like these things watching my kids being born, you know, is there a bar for what falls into the category of an experience that makes you a billionaire?

Bridget Hilton (00:06:55) - I mean, we have like five. I think there's. Yeah, five bars. I guess I would say to having that in the book and the first one is like, does it support your well-being? You know, like, is it like giving you, you know, that dopamine, is it giving you like a relief of stress? Is it giving you, like, making you healthier? The second one is, does it nurture relationships? And, you know, obviously, like, experiences build relationships. So it's part of that, the third one is, does it make you grow as a person, like, are you exploring and discovering new things and like learning something, maybe you're learning guitar or Spanish or whatever it is. The next one is, does it bring you joy? And obviously that's like, you know, around the play concept and like just constantly playing as an adult and not forgetting about that point of view. And then the last one is, does it serve others? Which is obviously a huge part of our story. And like we do think to serve others. Hopefully you know it well.

Dave Tabor (00:07:54) - Yeah, it really actually became a point of reflection for me as I looked at my list. You know, how many of them were about me, how many of them were about my family, and how many of them were about others. And it helped me sort of evaluate I guess how I'm leaning into this.

Bridget Hilton (00:08:11) - Yeah, well, it's important to do things for you as well, you know, if you are the best version of yourself, that's only going to help your, you know, family, your partner, your business partners, etc.

Joe Huff (00:08:21) - Yeah, I think a lot of it too, just really comes down to potential, right? Like feeling like you lived up to your potential in any area is like a really powerful feeling. And if your potential was any one of those things, if you think you know you wanted to be a mascot or you wanted to explore starting a family or whatever those things are, those are those things that you have this feeling of, yeah, I actually have put it all out there. I didn't leave something on the field, you know, like, actually, I, I tried for and, and that's why I can really go across any kind of category, any kind of level. And to this point about the study, you know, we came to this, you know, realization after our own journey and after being able to help a lot of people through our company and have all these crazy experiences and we, realizing that that's what mattered most to us. And if, you know, something happened suddenly, tragically, right now, we wouldn't change anything because, you know, we had this incredible story to tell.

Joe Huff (00:09:20) - We had this incredible life, you know, story that we wrote where, you know, a lot of people, I think, are putting things off for this future that just might not exist. And that like a crazy concept.

Dave Tabor (00:09:30) - Well, I got a bunch of questions to dig in, but first I want to kind of level set a little bit with both of you, because those of us who aren't yet retired, I mean, we still have day to day lives. We still have to go home and make dinner and pay the bills and take out the trash. And, you know, how do you figure this notion of balancing experiences that make you an experiential billionaire and weaving those into those mundane aspects of life, even work, which may not be mundane, but it doesn't necessarily make the list.

Joe Huff (00:09:59) - Just stop taking out the trash. That's the first step, and it just make you not.

Dave Tabor (00:10:04) - That's brilliant advice.

Joe Huff (00:10:05) - Oh yeah. No, no. You know, again, like, I think that the thing that people overlook or at least one of the biggest roadblocks for people to take any type of action is they think it has to be Mount Everest.

Joe Huff (00:10:18) - It has to be overwater bungalows. It has to be this big, you know, bucket list experience to have value. But there's so much value in the day to day. And that's what the study shows. And that's what you know when you think about the compound interest rate, where if you do little things that give you joy every day, you can build a lot of experiential wealth throughout the year. And that's a really powerful way to reframe time you have in the day.

Dave Tabor (00:10:44) - Let me push back on that, because it almost, what you said to me almost strikes me as counter to what your whole message of your book is, because living day to day isn't like, I don't know, it just doesn't seem like the way to become an experiential billionaire is just looking for moments. I don't know, it doesn't like it's not the list I built.

Joe Huff (00:11:05) - They're coordinated. They're connected. Right. We have a load of high ROI kind of concept that we talked about in the book where if you want to, for instance, if a dream of yours is go to Italy and you don't know how to do it right, you can start by planning the trip, even if it takes a year or two years or however long.

Joe Huff (00:11:22) - But then along the way, like every day, you can practice learning Italian on an app. You can make pasta, you can make pizza. You could have new experiences that enrich your life, that are really small, really easy, not super time consuming, not expensive, that lead into these bigger goals. And the more you do that and you bring more people into the mix, you wind up building a like minded community of people around you and relationships that are deep and meaningful, and it just helps you achieve those goals together.

Bridget Hilton (00:11:50) - It also just like, depends on what you're into. You know, like maybe Joe is super into action sports and like, so in his mind, like he's like an experiential builder because he's like, I'm going to go surfing and I'm going to go like skiing and snowboarding, like, you know, name any sport, like say, that's his thing and say like, I mean, this is true for me. Like I'm really into food.

Bridget Hilton (00:12:10) - So like for me, like I cook stuff, different stuff like almost every single day. So that's part of my day to day is like learning new things, right? And learning how to cook new things, but also like, you know, in the past, like I've gone to school like farm school, which is super random. And like, you know, I take cooking classes all the time. I like, you know, even if I'm just looking stuff up on YouTube, it's still like constantly learning and like building to being like, you know, like I have a billion experiences with food and like most people, like, sadly, we'll just order the same things over and over again or like make the same things at home. And like, especially if you have kids, this is really important because you're like, teach them how to like make new things and learn new things.

Joe Huff (00:12:50) - Yeah, I think that the and the, the big message is that, you know, you have to work within the parameters, right? We all have jobs.

Joe Huff (00:12:56) - We all have things we have to do. We all have constraints. So if we actually let that be like the, you know, reason, then we'll always have a reason not to look for things to do. And the number one reasons that we found were always the same was I don't have the time, I don't have the money,, or I just never got around to it. Now, those things are pretty connected in a lot of ways. But realistically, when you think about like how much time we all have, how much time are you really wasting a day? Most people, you know, they get they definitely are on their phone. They're definitely watching some Netflix, definitely doing some things that that's not bad. You can do those things. Of course we're all going to do that. But are you doing it mindlessly? Is it becoming something that's actually stealing your time where you're just like wasting time, killing time, instead of filling that time at maybe something that has value leading up to bigger things.

Joe Huff (00:13:42) - Yeah. Big point. Obviously the big point about what Bridget said is figuring out what you want. Like that is so important. You don't stop. Like you made a list. Dave, that's such a great step. So many people, they don't have a list. They don't even know what to do. Right? Yeah.

Dave Tabor (00:13:57) - Is that I'd ask you both. I mean, I stopped, like, in the first chapter to make my start making this list, and I've been working on it, toying with it since then. It's been kind of a fun exercise. My list of what I want to do is way shorter. I mean, you know, then the list of what I've already done. So I'm really toying with that notion too. But is there an exercise that you recommend for your readers as a starting point, a starting initiative that is fun and interesting to get them energized around being an experiential millionaire billionaire?

Bridget Hilton (00:14:28) - Yeah. I mean, I would say the exercise you're talking about is the perfect starting point.

Bridget Hilton (00:14:32) - It's called the treasure map exercise, and it's kind of the cornerstone exercise in our book. And we take readers like through this exercise and then through the path of like completing those items in the list. And so the basics of it is like, imagine your doctor just called and they've got really bad news. You know, you only have like a year to live. So think about what you could realistically do in that year that you've always wanted to do and the things that you've maybe told yourself, like, I'm going to do that someday, right? But now, someday is not ever going to come. Like you only have a year left. So write down the things that you want to do in the last year of your life. And then from there we take it shorter and we go to 30 days and then to one day. And of course, like, nobody wants to, like, travel the world on the one, you know, 24 hours, like, you know, call my parents, like, hang out with my kids, you know, like forgive somebody, you tell someone you love them, you know, stuff like that. But then on the one year list, it's always really interesting to see, like, what people write and a lot of it is travel. A lot of it's learning things or, you know, writing a book or like, you know, getting this dream out that they've always had. And then it's like you look at all these lists side by side. And the most important part of the exercise is to put an asterisk next to what you're currently working on. If you're like most people that do this exercise, there's zero to one item that they're currently working on. So it's like that instills the urgency that like, you know, a near-death experience hopefully doesn't happen to you.

Dave Tabor (00:16:04) - Yeah, yeah. 

Bridget Hilton (00:16:06) - But that gives you the urgency to say, like, why am I not doing any of the things that are important to me right now?

Dave Tabor (00:16:13) - Well, okay. So you used the word important. And I think that's interesting because one of the things I had is like we think about there's that song writing a bold name, Fu Manchu or whatever the idea is like, if you have no time left, you know, what do you really want to do? What do you really want to do? And it seems like there's a difference between what's important to us, maybe, and these crazy ideas of extreme and outrageous and bizarre activities like, you know, I'm going to run with the bulls or I'm going to skydive, you know, like, I guess you could have some of those on your list, but is that really what's important to most people?

Bridget Hilton (00:16:46) - That's usually not what's important to most people. Usually it's something more fulfilling or something like a dream that they have. But like a lot of people did say skydiving, right? And it's like, why do you, if that's important to you? That only takes one day, right? And it's a kind of not hard.

Dave Tabor (00:17:01) - Yeah.

Joe Huff (00:17:02) - Yeah. It's not hard. That's the thing that so many of the things people said were, you know, the vast majority were very achievable goals, very, very achievable goals.

Dave Tabor (00:17:11) - So what do you think they're if it's very achievable. They've always wanted to do it. It takes one day and a few hundred dollars. Why haven't they done it?

Bridget Hilton (00:17:20) - Because like there's more time because yeah they'll be like oh I'm gonna like say I was like, you know, I want to write a book, but I'm just going to do that someday. It's like, but that takes a lot of like time to, like, put into it. Why don't you start now and then maybe it'll get done in a couple of years or something. But if you start now, that's you're going to save all that time.

Dave Tabor (00:17:38) - Well, let's use skydiving as an example though. Why do you think there are so many people who say they want to do it? They haven't done it. Do they really, really want to do it? Or are they just saying that because it sounds cool? It feels cool.

Bridget Hilton (00:17:52) - I feel like with that specific example, it's very it's something that's it's obviously around fear, right? Like most people are scared of jumping out of a plane, which is totally acceptable.

Joe Huff (00:18:04) - Yes.

Bridget Hilton (00:18:04) - But it's also the fact that, like when you see somebody do it, when you see your friends do it, you're like, I wish I was more like them. I want to be that type of person that does that. And so they want to be like them.

Dave Tabor (00:18:16) - But isn't that worth exploring? The idea, like, is what's going to really make you feel like an experiential billionaire, something that makes you feel like others? Or is it something different?

Joe Huff (00:18:25) - I think it's about overcoming fear and taking action. It's about realizing that so many of the things that you want in your life are only not happening, they're only not happening because you're afraid. You're afraid to take action. So that's really, I think, the underlying message to all of it.

Dave Tabor (00:18:42) - Pizza and skydiving is more of a metaphor for all the things that we haven't done.

Joe Huff (00:18:45) - Honestly, it is in a lot of ways, because it's not too hard for anyone to actually make that dream come true. But, you know, people, again, they put it off because they think they have more time. And then, you know, it's just one of those things that they'll look back later. Gosh, I never did it. You know, I wish I had.

Bridget Hilton (00:19:01) - Yeah. And there's really no excuse for that example other than fear. You know, like I could go online and book it right now and go tomorrow if I wanted to.

Joe Huff (00:19:10) - And by the way, it's fine to actually determine that you're actually, you know what? I am afraid. And I don't want to do it. That's fine too. And like, that's really it's all about really just identifying, like you said, the things that actually have value versus things that you just thought sounded big and cool and interesting for your list.

Dave Tabor (00:19:25) - Hey, Bridget, we kind of jumped right in a bunch of my curiosity questions, but I'm not sure we spent enough time talking about. The concept of experiential billionaire versus what Joe was mentioning earlier that, you know, college kids want to chase, you know, a job that pays. You know, so talk more about what you've seen around this idea of people pursuing a life where they become an experiential billionaire versus whatever else they might have thought they had in mind.

Bridget Hilton (00:19:53) - Sure. I mean, I can just give you super quick backstory on how it kind of came to be and why we named it all of that. And it's a good example of what you're just saying. So, long story short, I grew up in Flint, Michigan. My whole family works for the auto industry, and I never was interested in that. I was always obsessed with music, that was like my big dream in life, and I really put everything on the line in, like, since I was a kid, to get to that dream. And I went from, like, sleeping in my car and like, you know, literally picking up trash at concert venues to like, fast forward to, like, working with, like Taylor Swift in the weekend and Rihanna and like, all these like, huge superstars, like when they were first starting out.

Bridget Hilton (00:20:34) - And one day in my office, I saw a video of a woman hearing for the first time, and she was like the same age as me. And it got me thinking about like, how crucial, like following my dream of music was to like where I got and and I was like, wow, I want to do that for someone. I want to like, you know, have them here. Like, that's such a cool experience. And, basically, like after seeing that video, I sent the video to Joe and we, created this company called Listen. And what we do is we sell headphones and speakers and we give the proceeds to giving people hearing aids around the world. And since 2012, we've given over 50,000 people the gift of hearing for the first and we've traveled to like 40 countries and just had the most epic experiences of all time. It's by far the greatest thing I've ever done in my life.

Dave Tabor (00:21:24) - So now keep tying it into where your book is.

Bridget Hilton (00:21:28) - So during this time, we were just kept doing all these awesome things and really seeing the world and giving back and all these very fulfilling things. And we were, you know, around all these people that had, you know, companies or whatever, and they would all be like, oh my God, it looks like you guys are killing it and kind of like implying that we were financially wealthy, which is funny because we were doing okay, like we're paying our bills and we were, you know, living out our dreams, but we were never like beats like Doctor Dre billionaires. And so we would respond and be like, yeah, we're doing okay. But we're not like, you know, we're not billionaires. We're like experiential billionaires. And so that was kind of like always an inside joke with me and Joe for years. And then, you know, over time it evolved. And like in 2020 when the world shut down, we couldn't travel the world and like, you know, give people a hearing.

Bridget Hilton (00:22:23) - So we started writing the book then, about our experiences. And that's what led to, you know, when we were researching for the book, we started doing the big survey of 20,000 people and it was like a whole, it kind of all culminated like around 2020 and 2021. And we just realized, we would have taken those experiences over any amount of money, any amount of physical goods, like, there's just no comparison to that.

Dave Tabor (00:22:52) - Yeah. Yeah. It was a combination of experiences that were fascinating, interesting, exciting for you and also where you were contributing to others. It was some mix of the two, right?

Bridget Hilton (00:23:02) - And there's this whole thing of like, you know, entropy, in general, where people say, I can't do anything when I'm young. I have to wait until I'm like 80 years old and that's just not true. It's something that people put off until this quote, “someday” and then might never, ever get to. But it's like the most fulfilling thing in the world is giving to others.

Dave Tabor (00:23:23) - And do you think ultimately becoming successful as an experiential billionaire is a combination of both giving to others and doing things that just are personally exciting? Is there a perfect mix?

Joe Huff (00:23:37) - Yeah, I think again, it's like that. It's that potential thing. It's knowing that you really did the work, you were intentional. You thought about it, you want it and you tried. It doesn't mean you succeeded. It's not the outcomes, it's the actual action. If you go for it and you get knocked down a bunch of times, you'll look back and go, I went for it. You know the worst thing I think, the regret that people have for the end of their life is all the things they never tried. It's not the stuff they tried and failed. It's the stuff that they never actually took a shot at because they don't know, they don't know what would have happened, what they could have done, or they could have become.

Joe Huff (00:24:08) - And it's crazy because then the study, everybody knows the stuff, you know, like, well, we asked people, you know, what matters most. They all listed off all these things that they wanted to do that they could do. But we just have this like, you know, glitch in our matrix. Humans just kind of put this thing, you know, they know it, but they don't act it. And that's really wild. And we're even guilty of it ourselves still, you know, we have to step back and go, wait a minute, are we still doing all this stuff we want to do? 

Dave Tabor (00:24:34) - Yeah, that really gave me, a light bulb went off when you said that because, you know, I don't believe that people, all these zillions of people they, you hear interviewed, I have no regrets. I have no regrets. Of course people have regrets. We all have regrets, one thing or another. But the idea is that what we really regret isn't what we failed at, it's that we, what we didn't try. That's really profound comment to me.

Bridget Hilton (00:24:55) - Yeah. And you never know what you will like if you don't try, you know, a couple is like, okay, like, I, I was like, it'd be fun to run a race or whatever, you know, that's like on a lot of people's like lists is like running.

Dave Tabor (00:25:07) - I want to run a marathon. 

Bridget Hilton (00:25:09) - Yeah. And so I did it, and I honestly hated it. And I was like, I'm never going to do that again. But like, now I know. 

Joe Huff (00:25:16) - But at the same time you try surfing.

Bridget Hilton (00:25:18) - Oh yeah. Exactly. So like, I don't want to do that anymore. And I'm super glad that I did it. I'm proud of myself for doing it. But then it's like I'll try surfing, for example. And I was always like, I'm afraid of what people might think and like, I'll probably look dumb or whatever. And then I did it and I was like, you know, of course no one's good at it right away. So, I did it, I kept trying and now I can surf and I love it. I'm never going to, like, win the Olympics, but 

Dave Tabor (00:25:43) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. One thought too, as you're, you're talking about this you reminded me of something went through my mind. I'm fortunate because when I built my list and my wife built her list, we had tons of overlap. And we do a lot of things that we consider experiential billionaires, sort of categories we do together, and we enjoy them together. I'm sure a lot of people that you speak with and that I know aren't as fortunate, where their spouses may not have the same aspirations of whatever experience that would be, you know, what do you what do you recommend in those scenarios? Because that must be fairly common.

Joe Huff (00:26:16) - Yeah, I think it takes work with most, you know, it's just like, it's like a if you think of it like more or less like a company or a relationship requires, you know, multiple input. There's one real end goal, but at the same time there's divisions, you know, so you just have needs. So, you know, you just have to find that balance, you know, there's no magic bullet for relationship success and that's definitely not the next book we write.

Dave Tabor (00:26:39) - Yeah, that could have more complexities in some ways. But yeah.

Bridget Hilton (00:26:45) - There's going to be overlap though, like something like, you know, both people write something down, like there's going to be like one thing at least that they can do. 

Dave Tabor (00:26:53) - Yeah. So look for the overlap. Look for the overlap. Yeah.

Joe Huff (00:26:55) - Well I think that, you know, it's funny because this ties really into the, the learning and doing new things we talked about in the book and in one of the chapters. And really, you don't really know what you like or don't like until you've tried it. And to your point, you know that you just said this a moment ago, right? Like when we actually do these new things and you find those new things that maybe there is something that your other half actually likes or you both like that neither of you have tried. Right? So that's what exploration is. And then the more things that you know how to do together or individually, then that gives you this collective, you know, you become better at a lot of other things because it generally. Yeah, it's how things work.

Dave Tabor (00:27:33) - That shared moment of, wow, we both like this and we never tried it before, could be super cool. And you mentioned something about learning, and I wanted to ask you a question about your chapter called Unlock the Vault of Lifelong Learning. And that really resonated with me because I've been slowly trying to learn Spanish. And I realized I laughed when I wrote that, because slowly trying is not a very positive force to drive an outcome. But, you know, here's what the question in the back of my mind is, and that's that people say that, specifically to Spanish but it could probably apply to other things, people say that as an adult, that's really hard to learn a new language. So the question I asked myself, like, am I too old to learn to reach a proficiency that I really, you know, would really bring me joy? And I realized as I asked if you were sitting next to me that you’d probably slap me. But, I mean, are there sort of stages in life when you've seen people evaluate what they want to try differently?

Joe Huff (00:28:26) - I mean, yeah, I think that certain things in certain people for sure, but I definitely don't think there's like an age limit for just about anything, you know, because learning new things just expands your identity. And it's just that really solid investment in yourself, right? Where if, for instance, you want to learn Spanish, yeah, maybe you're not going to, you know, be delivering a keynote in Spanish and, you know, some in Mexico or Spain anytime soon, but you could definitely communicate and then you'll have a much greater understanding, perhaps, of that culture or when you travel, etc., and I just think that, you know, if you use those kinds of generalizations of like, it's too old to try or start, you know, it's just going to stop you from learning something. I actually, I'm 53, by the way, and I didn't start mountain biking until I was 48 years old and absolutely love it. 

Dave Tabor (00:29:17) - So those first hard falls really hurt.

Joe Huff (00:29:20) - Oh my gosh. Yeah, you know, mountain biking, I don't know, it's a pretty impactful sport for both the person and physically. But yeah you know I think that, if I had listened to, you know, I'm sure my doctors or your general medical advisor, just, you know, my wife, I'm sure most people would say you probably shouldn't start or try that. But, you know, really, I think that you just have to figure out what you still want. And, you know, there's people that I think we all have heard the stories, and this is why these stories go around and everybody reads them, you know, stories about like, people that are in their 80s that run marathons, you know, ten times a year. You know what makes them different? You know what makes them different? That they said they're going to do it and that they want to do it, and they did it. You know, anybody can try to do something new and different at any age.

Dave Tabor (00:30:08) - To what you just said, Joe, how much, you talk about the 80 year old who's continuing to run a marathon or whatever the case. I just watched the movie Nyad, about the swimmer who swam from Cuba to the US. True story. Pretty interesting. How much of what people should do or think about doing that makes them an experiential billionaire is done because of what other people will think of them?

Joe Huff (00:30:32) - Yeah. No, that's a, that's a really big one. You know, and I think that this is again to go back to the treasure map exercise, once people write down all the things that they really want to do and they say matter most to them, the next step we say is look at that list and ask yourself, are any of those things you know on your list because of an outside influence? Are you sure you really want to do that? Or maybe a societal pressure, maybe your parents, maybe your friends? Maybe you think it'll sound cool because I think that that's a you know, it's a common problem.

Joe Huff (00:31:04) - I think once you kind of root out those things that you can really get to the core of what makes your heart full. And, you know, I think that that's, you know, I think that there's a lot that goes with that. And I think one of the reasons that, that we slow down and attacking those kinds of things in general as we age especially, is because we're settled into our identities, and a lot of our identities are shaped by outside influence. So breaking that mold, stopping and saying, why is that my identity? Was that like something that started back in, you know, did somebody tell me in the third grade that, you know, you don't like, you know, action sports. And I just kept that, like with me, even that average check to make sure that's true or real or a lot of things like that happen.

Bridget Hilton (00:31:48) - I mean, that happens all the time. It's like, say like a kid is in even, you know, eighth grade or something.

Bridget Hilton (00:31:53) - And they try art class and they're like, I'm bad at art. So when they're 50, they're like, still thinking that they're bad at art, and they've never even tried again because someone told them that they were bad when they were a kid. And like, that's something that I actually did during like, Covid is I started like painting just for fun, you know? But I had always thought, like, I would be terrible at this, but that just wasn't true. Like it ended up being super fun and I was like, decent at it just because, like, I tried and I didn't care about what other people thought, you know? But a lot of people don't do things because they care about what other people think of like, you know, like, how dare this person, like, try to paint or like, write a joke or to sing or stuff like that? You know?

Joe Huff (00:32:37) - The book is a great example because both of us have, you know, probably thought for a lot of our lives that, you know, writing a book was something that we probably couldn't do, or it was really hard. And not only did we write a book, I should have a second book that I've written. Unrelated, but the whole point actually I was going to make is now I found that I just enjoy writing, I enjoy I want to write another book just because I want to do that, go through that process again when that's a really powerful kind of learning, you know, experiment, I guess, for people.

Bridget Hilton (00:33:08) - And by the way, it was really hard, but.

Joe Huff (00:33:10) - It was (inaudible).

Dave Tabor (00:33:12) - You know, I noticed though, you two alternate chapters. So it's like, okay, if you're going to do a book, why not do it that way?

Bridget Hilton (00:33:18) - Honestly, I think that made it harder, though, because it was like I think it turned out like perfectly well because we did that because there's alternating viewpoints and then we come together at times. But it really made it difficult because we were trying to tell both of our life stories and then all of the stuff we did separately and together. But it turned out really well. It just made it a little bit more difficult, I would say.

Dave Tabor (00:33:42) - Well, that's cool. I got one last question for you, and it's inspired by a childhood hero of mine, a guy named George Plimpton, who you may or may not have heard of. He's a journalist who wrote a book called Paper Lion, and he did, as a journalist, all kinds of crazy sports things, like he actually did a, like a, he boxed with a professional fighter. He became a professional musician. And this book, Paper Lion, where he highlights his tryout for the Detroit Lions. Of course, he was unsuccessful. But, you know, the idea that he chose to live multiple experiences within his career and within his life, you know, is that like, should we all be looking to do that?

Bridget Hilton (00:34:25) - I mean, I love that personally. I'm on my third long term career at this point. I'm 38 and I've had, you know, ten years in music and ten years of entrepreneurship and then, you know, speaking and writing and all that stuff.

Bridget Hilton (00:34:38) - So I think it's great when people try new things and I think they should try new careers. But and then obviously, like, if you're an entrepreneur, you have a lot more room for that. But you can do that like the corporate space as well. Like even if you're like, I'm gonna shadow someone in like marketing and you work in sales, like, you know what I mean? It can be like very, very simple like that. Or just like, I'm gonna go out tonight with the team from finance instead of my regular team. Like, there's just, like, little things that you can do in the corporate world as well.

Joe Huff (00:35:08) - And there's books I think that go really deep and narrow on stuff. I mean, if you're a scientist and you're trying to map the genome or something and you know, those the people that win the Nobel Prize are generally pretty deep on one specific topic, right?

Dave Tabor (00:35:20) - Yes, they are. 

Joe Huff (00:35:22) - Which is great. But that's not the majority of folks. Right? So the majority of people would do themselves a favor by broadening, you know, just their exposure to more things, to just maybe have more opportunities to enjoy life.

Bridget Hilton (00:35:35) - I think it's like we talk in the book about being like a polymath, right? It's like, if you can be good at multiple things, then you're unique in that way. Like say you're like, you know, really good at building websites, but you're also can speak, you know, Mandarin, but you could also like do these things. Like all of those things can come together at one point and like make you more unique and more valuable to like some employer or friend or whoever it might be.

Dave Tabor (00:35:59) - Yeah. And one thing I noticed, and we didn't get into your whole story about your amateur wine making, we'll do that another time. But the thing I loved about it was how you shared the experience with others. And so I guess what I'd like to wrap up on is to what extent can becoming an experiential billionaire, you know, be a shared experience?

Bridget Hilton (00:36:19) - I mean, hopefully as much as possible, I think it is important to do things by yourself and have that relationship with yourself to be able to be comfortable, because a lot of people don't do things because they literally can't be by themselves. Like, they'll be on their phone or they'll watch Netflix or whatever. They can't be without something else. So it's important to get there first. But then, like, I think having experiences with others, like everything is better shared, you know, like and that's how you build relationships, whether it's with your coworkers or with your, you know, your kids or your spouse or whoever it might be.

Joe Huff (00:36:52) - Yeah. All of our deepest, most meaningful relationships are based on experiences that we have together. And I think that at the end of our lives, at the very, very end of our lives, that's what we're going to think about those people and that we have those relationships with that we formed over those bonding moments and those experiences. And that's a really powerful thing. Nobody, nobody is on their deathbed asking to see their wallet one last time.

Dave Tabor (00:37:17) - Yeah, yeah. Let's end on that note. And hopefully, Joe, your end of life experience won't be, you won't be thinking of that as you go over the handlebars. Mountain biking. I've done that. I've done that. I'm sure you've done that. 

Dave Tabor (00:37:34) - Let's wrap up. I'm your host, Dave Tabor. Today on the Stubbornly Young podcast, you've been listening to my conversation with authors of Experiential Billionaire, Bridgette Hilton and Joe Huff. Joe, Bridget, glad you joined me. That was super fun.

Joe Huff (00:37:48) - Thank you.

Dave Tabor (00:37:49) - You're welcome. Listeners, this has been episode 13 of the Stubbornly Young Podcast for those in their 50s, 60s and beyond, remaining engaged in the world and relevant to the younger people in their lives. Thanks for joining me. Please share with friends. On we go.

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