In this heartwarming episode of Ambassadors of Hope, Lee and Megan Wiglesworth, a dedicated adoptive family with a background as foster parents, open up about their incredible journey. They reflect on their experience within Florida's foster care system, shedding light on the challenging yet rewarding process of becoming licensed foster parents. Their profound commitment to this mission, rooted in a spiritual calling, showcases how their family serves as a beacon of hope in the world of fostering. Listen in…
Host: Charles L. Bender III, Founding CEO and Board Member of Place of Hope
Title Sponsor: Crypto Capital Venture | Follow Dan Gambardello's on Twitter (@cryptorecruitr)
Looking for assistance in south Florida? Visit VillagesOfHope.net
Link: Visit the Place of Hope Website, PlaceOfHope.com
Connect with Place of Hope on social media: Facebook | YouTube | Instagram | LinkedIn
Email the Show: POHPodcast@PlaceOfHope.com
-----------------
Producer: Maya Elias
Copyright of Place of Hope 2023.
In this heartwarming episode of Ambassadors of Hope, Lee and Megan Wiglesworth, a dedicated adoptive family with a background as foster parents, open up about their incredible journey. They reflect on their experience within Florida's foster care system, shedding light on the challenging yet rewarding process of becoming licensed foster parents. Their profound commitment to this mission, rooted in a spiritual calling, showcases how their family serves as a beacon of hope in the world of fostering. Listen in…
Host: Charles L. Bender III, Founding CEO and Board Member of Place of Hope
Title Sponsor: Crypto Capital Venture | Follow Dan Gambardello's on Twitter (@cryptorecruitr)
Looking for assistance in south Florida? Visit VillagesOfHope.net
Link: Visit the Place of Hope Website, PlaceOfHope.com
Connect with Place of Hope on social media: Facebook | YouTube | Instagram | LinkedIn
Email the Show: POHPodcast@PlaceOfHope.com
-----------------
Producer: Maya Elias
Copyright of Place of Hope 2023.
Hello and thank you for tuning in to Ambassadors of Hope. I'm your host, charles Bender. We're so excited that you've tuned in to hear from local South Florida leaders who are making a difference in our community and region through our charity Place of Hope. Who are we? We're the largest, most diverse children and families organization spanning Palm Beach County and the entire Treasure Coast. Our goal is to help those we serve find healing and restoration, leading to a brighter future. Since 2001, place of Hope has served over 25,000 children and youth in South Florida.
Speaker 1:Place of Hope is a faith-based, state-licensed organization providing programs and services to children, youth and families to end cycles of abuse, neglect, homelessness and human trafficking in our local communities. None of this would be possible without our Ambassadors of Hope, the people in this community and throughout South Florida who use their leadership, influence, time, talent and resources to help others. Many have inspiring stories of their own that tie them intrinsically to our mission, and we hope that their stories will challenge you to get out and make a difference where you live, work and play. So much can grow from even just one small seed of hope.
Speaker 2:Welcome to this episode of Ambassadors of Hope. I am your producer for this podcast by Place of Hope and my name is Maya Lias. In this episode, charles Bender and I are welcoming guests Lee and Megan Wigglesworth, who share their journey as foster parents. It is beautiful to see their enthusiasm for promoting their story and emphasizes the importance of fostering children in need. Lee and Megan's initial dream of helping children became a reality as they navigated the practical aspects of becoming foster parents. They discussed the challenges and rewards they experienced along the way, highlighting Megan's pragmatic approach and their shared commitment to making a difference. The Wigglesworths emphasize the significance of organizations like Place of Hope in supporting foster parents and children in the foster care system. Lee and Megan encourage listeners to consider various ways they can contribute, such as fostering, volunteering or supporting foster families. Overall, this conversation underscores the transformative impact of fostering on individuals, families and communities, while calling for more individuals to step up and support children in need.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Seed of Hope, a segment filled with warmth, gratitude and hope. Today, we bring you the heartwarming story of the Sawyer family in Cottage 9. Let's talk about a moment that will be forever etched in our memories. Our boys had the incredible opportunity to attend a Florida Panthers playoff game. In a luxurious sleep and with just four seconds left in the game, the Panthers secured their place in the Stanley Cup, and the excitement our boys felt was unparalleled, and we were immensely grateful to the generous donors who made this possible, because these memories will last a lifetime.
Speaker 2:But the surprises didn't end there. One of our boys received a package Brimming with excitement. As he opened it, to his delight, it contained a personal letter from Mrs Trump herself, along with a World Cup soccer ball. It was an extraordinary gesture that touched our hearts deeply. In the face of these heartwarming experiences, we are filled with so many positive emotions and happiness. We've witnessed the power of dedication, support and unexpected acts of kindness, and it is through these small seeds of hope that has enriched the lives of the children in our care, and we can't wait to see what the future holds.
Speaker 1:All right, welcome, Lee and Megan. We want to see if you'd share with our listeners this morning how you first became involved with Place of Hope and a little bit about your personal calling to foster care.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, first off, thanks for having us. Our process with Place of Hope started in 2012. It dates back further to that with you know, we felt our call to ministry in this way, but we had a ton of excuses for why now is not the time. And God and His infinite wisdom and humor took all those excuses away from us until we were just left with the obedience question if we were going to do what we were called to do, and we kind of went to an orientation at Place of Hope just thinking, hey, we'll find out what it is. We have a lot of questions. We don't know different aspects, probably like a lot of other people out there, people listening to this. Just what does it even mean? What does it look like? How many people are going to be coming through our house? And we knew the gentleman who was there for orientation. So we pictured like we'll hide in the back, we'll get our questions answered, find no reason, we'll find some other excuses not to do it. And we walked in and our friend was doing the orientation and he like stopped, had everyone turn around and he was like the wiggles were us here. They're going to be the greatest foster family in the world. We're like this is the exact opposite of what we want. That's awesome, but we did. We got our questions answered and then Megan is very what's the next step? What's the next step?
Speaker 3:Mine was always for years before of this dream, right of like we can help these kids, these are the kids in need. We can do this, we should do this. And she had the realistic questions of what does this look like and how does this get applied and how do we change this and how do we work through this. And I was more of the. You know, we'll figure that out when we get there. And once we went a couple of weeks of back, then it was the map class for the licensing and she was like, okay, we can do this and we need to do this, this and this. And then that was scary for me because then it got real. It changed from like dream mode and fantasy mode to like, oh, we're really going to do this. And that's where she's so great, because she did. I think all of our paperwork was done by the time we were done with map class, like as soon as we started getting our homework assignments and like, hey, if you want to do this, you need to do this, this and this. And she had like got it all done and when we were done with maps, like it was pretty much left to fingerprinting to do it. So, yeah, we ended up fostering for three years.
Speaker 3:One of our it kind of sounds funny, but one of our deals that we made with God on it was we knew there's always a need so we were like, hey, we'll do this for a year and then we'll reevaluate. But then going through the class, like one of the things that really got to us was the results of attachment disorder and like that just really moved us of, you know, for those who don't know like the attachment disorder of a youth while developing. If they don't get that attachment to a primary caregiver, they don't build that relationship that's most commonly built between mom and child, father and child, relatives and child. Then it's just so many lifelong complications they have in building relationships, building trust, viewing community the same way as people that everybody starts becoming individualistic to them more like manipulating, and it just broke our hearts.
Speaker 3:I remember one of the things we were taught is like, hey, you could get foster babies that don't cry. And a lot of foster parents think like what a perfect, what a perfect baby. They're so quiet and, sadly enough, babies cry because they have needs that need to be met, and what they've already learned in that young stage. They've already been neglected or abused to the point that they've learned crying gets nothing.
Speaker 1:It's one of I think one of the most- sad parts of kids that are traveling through all this trauma. And then great people like yourselves although not enough, you know step up to do what you've done, and that's like the secondary part. People don't even realize that and they don't even know what it means. I tend to think over all these years that probably everybody on the planet has some degree of attachment issues, right, Just because of broken relationships and unmet expectations, but how much more so for these young people who lose all that early on, end up sort of in a foreign environment and sometimes, as you know, it repeats itself in the system as well, where there's just a lot of disruption and so forth in their lives.
Speaker 3:So when we learned that, we were like we're never going to be, we're never going to give up on a child in our care. So our deal was one year, but no matter where we are in a placement at the end of that one year, we'll see that placement all the way through. And then we felt like we got confirmation from God, like he's a blackjack dealer, like deal, you got it and we shook on it. And then, funny enough, our first placement ended up being our son, our first son. So he stayed in our caraport 996 days and his placement ended up in adoption. So, yep, we just kept our one placement.
Speaker 1:Creative forever family there. Forever, family there. Yep, just, I mean, even just short of that, just taking kids in and fostering is just such a heroic thing in our community today, because you really just never know, and I'm sure you could say, no matter how great the training is or how much of it there is, it all starts over and it's all brand new and different the day somebody moves in, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, and just like having your own kids, like every kid is so different, so it's definitely an adjustment.
Speaker 1:So well. Thank you, guys for everything that you continue to do in that realm of helping helping young people. What are some of the activities and initiatives that you guys have been involved in as supporters of Place of Vote, and how do you think they've made an impact on the community as a whole?
Speaker 4:Our company. We actually started a we give back referral program. So every month we select a customer who's referred someone to us and donate money, or is it 500?
Speaker 3:Yeah, $500 to a charity of their choice.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and if they don't have a charity which a lot of times they don't have a charity of their choice, we have one Influence it as much as you can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's awesome. I always think about that particular model that you guys do and have for a long time, and I always said, like, can you imagine if every organization did something like that Not just for Placeope, although we'd love that, but for any charity for that matter if every business was to say hey, as a part of what we're going? To do if this goes through, or if we create this contract together or whatever. It's just. That's heroic as well. It's super cool.
Speaker 3:I love it. It's really fun to like seeing the because Place of Hope obviously means the world to us, but then seeing, like our customers or referral partners, what they're passionate about, and then we get to do a little piece on them and find out about their charity and it is. It's just, it's a very fun aspect of it that we get to be a part of and I think our customers and our referral partners appreciate it too.
Speaker 1:Well, you guys are really good at it. I mean, right now you're doing the summer fun, the summer splash, with us.
Speaker 1:And you know I obviously, in my role, I see everything that comes into Place of Hope and this is constant ones that are coming through with your last name tag to it for summer fun. So it's, it's super cool and, as you know, just like this show it's. It also helps get the word out about Place of Hope because, as I've said for years, this is this is not truly supposed to be a state function. The state's involved and they're a great partner with us and so forth, but it's really the community that's supposed to be taking care of the community's kids. And so, whether you're doing like you do in fostering and creating forever families and adoption, or what you just described and there's so many versions of that that people can do you know a lot of people that'll do birthday fundraisers and send or Facebook funders or whatever.
Speaker 1:But it also the secondary thing I'm getting at is that it just really helps spread the word about Place of Hope, which is so invaluable and our staff that we've had come in and out of there.
Speaker 3:We've done, I think, three times the party with a purpose for a Christmas. So we'll have our holiday party and everyone knows they're getting list off you know toys or lists or items from them and then we're able to tell our staff through the two or three Christmases we went through yeah, while we were fostering we didn't have to buy a Christmas present Like this is what's going on because of the you know, the people in the community gathering that it is. It's all huge.
Speaker 4:We actually had a. He was a wonderful employee of ours and they, him and his wife, became house parents and he resigned with two, two, four, three.
Speaker 3:It was great. I mean it was great. It was hard for it, it was hard to get upset, but yeah, we took him to like a seat for Hope luncheon, just as like a thank you for him and get to experience this. And then both of him and his wife got the call of like we want to be cottage parents. It's like how do I say no to that?
Speaker 1:Well, that's a super great example of what I'm trying to talk about here and you know, again, that's what we hope when listeners hear your story that they think you know, wow, okay, maybe maybe fostering is not for me, maybe adoption is not for me, maybe it is right, but but also just to be encouraged by the other things that you all are doing as well. I'll jump back a little bit, just share a little bit of your experience in fostering and respite care and how it's influenced your perspective on, specifically, the importance of groups like place of hope, because it's one thing to just be in the work, but it's another to make sure that you're doing the work in excellence, because you see, you guys are part of team place of hope, you're not like out here doing place of work. It's all one thing together. So how do you you know what's some of your experience and why? Why do you think it's important to do with excellence?
Speaker 3:Well, first of all, the community and population. It's serving to me, children, to not give a child the best possibility to just like, even know, love, you know, of just feeling a loving environment, of knowing that they're supported not just by whoever's taking care of them financially or in that house, but the whole community. And that's where I think place of hope really steps in, because it is so many other aspects to the support that they're doing of traditional foster families, the housing you guys have for age out, like for us, we can't unsee what we've seen. So when we stepped into foster care, one of the most I want to say brutal but it was, it was brutal is the is the emails of placements needed every single day, sometimes multiple days.
Speaker 3:You know sibling groups that you know they want to stay together and that's in that email for placement of a sibling group of three that's looking to stay together. And I just remember that I still have a file on my Google email of all of those, because there was something about getting them and deleting the email that felt not right. So we would get them, we would pray over the email and then I still have them in a little file on my Gmail of you know placements on there because it was just, it's just tough. So we know, even though our capacity and what we were doing in foster care couldn't continue, we knew we were somehow going to have to stay involved with Place of Hope and foster care. Community will be involved with it for the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1:That really speaks to the need to. I mean because obviously you know we see those same things. There's just so many organizations in an area that actually do you know foster care, licensing and so forth, placement, and so we all see all of them right and just to see so many come through, especially the large sibling groups, the hard to place kids, ones that have been multiple placement disruptions, how it's so hard to find the right placement for them.
Speaker 1:That's why, to this day, we still run which we don't really call it this anymore, but an emergency shelter on one of our main campuses, our packs and campus, because it's typically when they can't find another place for these young that happens to be boys in that facility, but it's, it's super tough, yeah, and that was a really tough one.
Speaker 3:Teenage boys, yeah, and you knew that that was. Those were hard placements, especially sibling groups of teenage boys, and you know our family wasn't in a position where we could take them in but like our hearts just went out to that.
Speaker 1:Well, it's so sad because oftentimes you know, things get codified a certain way. It's like you see a file on a young boy and it's like, okay, well, he's been involved in this set and the other. Well, you know, it's sort of like the attachment scenario we're talking about.
Speaker 1:You know it's so much of it's not fault of their own. It's just acting out on things that haven't been healed or don't even have any chance of starting to heal, and then all of a sudden they get themselves in a, in a pickle, in a tight place, and then it just looks really bad. And oftentimes you know we've stepped out in faith for a lot, and I'm sure you all have to, where you know just you just go above and beyond and all of a sudden you see that this kid, johnny or whatever, is just just a great kid, just needed a shot.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. I mean, I think that's really where our call came from. We were teen parents with a ton of help and resources and support and, I think, just learning that these kids aren't bad kids, bad seeds or even just their circumstances where they come from. They just don't have what we were blessed or privileged with.
Speaker 1:I think about that all the time you started old, you knew the housing that we have for over 18. I remember when that first became an issue for us and that was a long time ago. But we learned about it and thankfully, we're able to do something about it.
Speaker 1:But now it's it's our largest area of expansion, because we like to call it a hand up program at that age. Right, so it's not just you get to move in and do whatever you want, but the need for it is tremendous because of what you just said, that you know, even when they're younger, there's just no one that they don't have that same support network that most of us have at some level, and some of them have none of it. We had actually today we had a great article that ran in the Palm Beach Post for Place of Hope, but it was specifically about a young man that was in our care as under 18. And then, of course, stayed with us. And now it's just doing a phenomenal thing. He's just making it and it's again it's not a, it's not a give me program.
Speaker 1:It's just it's what's necessary when you miss those critical formative years and and so many other things in life.
Speaker 3:But that's like you got. That's what I mean we love about Place of Hope. You, you see, imagine, started as foster care, right, and then you see all the different gaps of what leads to that. And then you guys coming in and filling that away. Because I remember when we went through maps like the statistics of incarceration rate after 18, homelessness after 18 is terrible, and you think about when you were 18, or if we have two adult children. If you have adult children, just no resources after 18, right, like, hey, you're an adult now, good luck. Oh, you know, I have your driver's license because you were in the foster care for the last 10 years. No one taught you how to drive. Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 1:I mean honestly, even though we're expanding and we have a great program for over 18, we still wish that, you know, finality could be found, permanency could be found for every young person if they had to come into the posture care system through a beautiful scenario like a forever family, like you guys have done and accomplished, or, you know, be able to go home to a, to a healthy family, you know. So I always say the village is a hope and post 18 foster care really should be last resort. And then that in between is hey, if we get a kid on the on the tracks correctly and young man or woman wants to go Straight off to school of pay, that's even better too. So, or, or that's great. You know options. So what advice or insights would you guys give or offer to other families who are considering being foster parents, and there's any? Are there any resources and support system that have been Particularly valuable to you guys?
Speaker 3:So when while we were fostering, even up to a couple years after, we would go into the map classes where they could ask questions to a, to a current foster family, and we found from that we were always asked to come back and bring our biological daughters.
Speaker 3:Because we really did, we involved our kids in it so much that our daughters knew that this was like a family ministry that we were gonna do you know, some people are called to go to another country that we felt called to do this, that it was gonna be our family ministry and that they had to be on board.
Speaker 3:We gave them a, a book the one factor Okay, by Doug Sotter, who used to oversee four kids down south and that had just has a couple short, like individual stories of like who the kids are, because I think it takes away a lot of the Misconceptions of a foster child and what that is and really paints a situation of who is entering the system due to abuse, neglect and abandonment.
Speaker 3:Right, and that was powerful for them. So I think involving your kids, I think gating as much information as you can, listening to podcasts like this, searching podcasts about foster care, reading as much material and, I think, finding a good, like-minded organization. I think we kind of got lucky and being, you know, put in with place of hope because Sharing the worldview is very powerful to talking to other people who have gone through fostering and not necessarily having that same relationship with someone helping them because it can sometimes, I think, feel like it's Foster parents and verse the state right courts or anything like one of the one of the like words I thought of when you were talking about worldview, because obviously that's a that's a large conversation, but one of them is you said earlier is like commitment, being committed, we were gonna get into this and and not fail in some particular young person's life.
Speaker 1:We were gonna see it through. I mean that, that you could look at the worldview on the word commitment, and you guys Certainly have accomplished that, but there's I mean there's, you know there's probably five words like that that are absolutely critical in these kids lives commitment, you know, so that they're not bouncing around from place to place which, as we all know, makes things a lot worse.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think when you, when you do, you look at those statistics and you find out, like how far behind a kid gets in Education for every placement and what the average foster child who goes all the way to 18 in the system, how many times they've been moved, and you start adding that up of if they've been moved five times and we've discovered that each time they're moved is nine months back on their education, exactly you've got somebody graduating With maybe a seventh, eighth grade education. Right, we shouldn't be surprised at all. And it's.
Speaker 1:It's almost like you can't pinpoint blame anywhere in there, but the the system as a whole nationally is just, it's not built to really regulate and monitor those kinds of things. And then, if you've got it, you know everybody has a varying Definition in their own world of what commitment really looks like. You know, then it doesn't shouldn't find it strange that there's these place placement disruptions and so forth, and it's linked directly to their, their formative years in every way relationships, education, etc.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's tough. Share with us a memorable moment or experience from your journey as foster parents that really stands out for you probably have a, probably have a million of them, but oh.
Speaker 3:For me, I'm gonna sound. I'm gonna sound like a, was I? When I think back of the three years of us fostering, I don't think I've ever cried or prayed as much as I did in those three years. I mean, you know, being a Christian and a Christ follower, always looking for ways to Submit to yourself, died yourself a little bit more every day and live for Christ. And then there's also the male side of me that is a Doer, you know, and a provider, and I wanted to do things. So I think I was always able to talk about, you know, my family being gods and I'm there to serve them. Or you know, the businesses and ultimately, god's control, but I put forth a lot of effort to make sure that it goes well as well.
Speaker 3:And then, fostering all of those Lee Wigglesworth's, it's completely removed because there's no control, there's no control of anything. When we get a text that says hey, had a meeting with the magistrate and we found a relative, you know, stay tuned, might be three to four days and you have, you know, your nine-month-old that you've cared for since birth, and you're like wrapping your head around. Okay, this just drastically changed. Now there's a relative we have to be prepared to reunify them with their family. It's just the ups and downs and the amount of dependency that we had to have on each other and Continue to communicate, and then also just full, absolute full reliance on God and just knowing he was in control. I remember pleading with him, sometimes in prayers of like please don't let this scenario play out, because His life won't be as good you know, their life won't, it's just my mortal understanding of like I'm the best you know, I'm the best for this situation and I remember in my prayer, thinking him, thinking you.
Speaker 3:You pray every night. The most thing you care about is that they'll know me. Like absolutely means like what if the best way for them to know me is in some prison ministry? And that hit me in the gut because I was like I do not want this nine-month-old in any prison ministry you know, on that, side of it.
Speaker 3:Bring one ultimate reliance, but ultimate reliance is like if that is the best way for him to know you, that is what I have to submit to you. Know, like that, I'm not in control, I don't know. So it's, it was just all of those.
Speaker 1:That's kind of similar to when I, you know, if you, we meet somebody new, that supporting place over whatever and they'll inherently ask us so give you know. Similar question I asked you, like what you know, they'll say what's a six step into tell me your favorite success story at place over whatever. Or how do you define success? And I've always said the same thing.
Speaker 1:There's so many ways for us to define success because every kid's so different. They've all been through such different journeys, trauma levels for some, or even way higher than others. And you know We've had kids that have come in here with close to a hundred placement disruptions before they got to us. He's gonna imagine right. So I've always said for some of our kids, if we can just get them to be able to look up and to rely on God and to Sort of check Themselves in terms of how they used to respond to things so they don't get themselves into, you know, physical harm or danger, and and then just to try to focus day by day on the future, that kid's gonna be successful. Yeah so, and then, you know, fast forward all the way through to the kids that go off and get their Bachelors and master's degrees or own their own little company or whatever it is. But it really starts right there too.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean for, for me, my, I think, the memorable thing, for me, the takeaways, not necessarily an experience, but I think it made, or not like one moment. It made um Us change how we parented, and not that we took our kids for granted, our biological children, but we definitely learned to to live day by day and and that for For at least my personality, that was a feat and I, like that was, you know, when the day was hard, it was okay, I'll get to the next hour, but we learned to. If the boys are, boys were wonderful, but they were. They were difficult, it was hard, it was a hard situation to have no control. We'd be in a Carve, screaming children and looking at each other and learning to just be thankful for that horrible moment.
Speaker 1:Here they're with us that's gonna encourage some people.
Speaker 4:It. I mean like, whereas before I would have thought it was a horrible. Moment right it, it wasn't it was to be thankful and and to learn to. You know they're there with us and what.
Speaker 1:I gotta hang out with you guys.
Speaker 3:Like, if they're crying and screaming, it's because they learned that once we stop this car, their needs can be met like this is okay, this is right. Still progress, I think interesting.
Speaker 1:If you go back to that training part we talked about, you know the foster care training and all that stuff. I know one of the things we've always tried to do at place Hope over the years is to tell people, whatever program they're in with us they're thinking about fostering or thinking about working in villages, is understanding to that. You know you're seeing things that are coming out of places that you really don't understand where they're coming from, behaviorally, etc. But one of the things we've always done is tried to like for lack of a bit of him warn people about the realities up front, not Sugarcoat it with oh, this is just gonna be nothing but pure ministry. Here it is, but at the same time that doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 3:It'd be difficult, super difficult and and I felt like you guys did a great job of that for us, because there were definitely people we took the class with you could tell we're there to kind of this same of like foster to adopt, and that in our class they pretty much took that out. They're like don't think like that, right, because it's so you know, they knew the percentages of how many come through to adoption and it's like your heart will be broken over and over again If that's the goal. Here's the cold reality.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think the Honesty and like it was brutally honest of the the reality, yeah, gave me the courage to Do it might have scared somebody else that came out the room. But sure and I think that if it did, it served its purpose. Yeah, they weren't, you know, it wasn't their time, or you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I think without doing that. I mean you look at the one thing you will hear kind of commonly from people when they think about fostering or they think about adoption in a general sense, they think, oh, but I've heard these terrible stories about you know, the kids being ripped away and so forth.
Speaker 1:So and yeah, and it can happen, as you know and it and things and reunifications happen and so forth. So I think, like you said, you know, knowing that up front, the reality of that is best With the possibility of that happening. So absolutely, can you speak a little bit about the resources available to foster parents? You know, through the state or you know, there's our health insurance free college for foster children. People hear about any other support systems that have been a fitted children you've served.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there's a ton. I mean even as From the very beginning, their formula. You know they're the. I believe it's WIC, the WIC program right. So we had help with that, even the clothing when we started over. So we had nothing right and I think place of hope even helped us with the crib and I think, given people the opportunity To serve outside of foster care.
Speaker 3:Like we let our church know what we were doing and our church ultimately spoke from the pulpit of what we were doing and Put our need list for baby items on an Amazon list and we got Everything. I mean stuff we wouldn't spend our own money on. Like people were going above and beyond and getting the Eddie Bauer edition stroller. We're like we never had this for our own kids. But then, yeah, the I know one of our initial questions in that orientation class was okay, if this goes through to adoption, I know how much health insurance costs because I pay for that. I know how much college costs because I've paid for that twice, and then finding out that, yeah, they, their cut healthcare is covered. Our, our youngest, went through three surgeries While he was in foster care.
Speaker 4:So paid for the surgeries and the therapy afterwards, the physical therapy. I Mean yeah, I think they have better health insurance than I do.
Speaker 1:I mean think about it, though I would bet a lot of listeners have no idea that that's all correct. You know part of things there that they really are in the custody of the state of Florida. Yeah not that that's a good thing in any way, but they are, and so really that's that's the least that they should be providing, but they do, and I think a lot of people don't realize.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah they both have glasses and that's paid for and effort for the most part and, yeah, their college will be. They choose to go to college.
Speaker 3:Yeah, even though we've adopted because they were. I think it's six months. You might know better than I if how long they're in care qualifies them. So as long as they go to a Florida public University, their tuition and fees are covered in the state of Florida. So that is kind of taken care of. Even you know the the stipends not much, but you know there are other resources there. And two, I think again just letting people know what you're doing. Place of hope is there. We met other foster parents. They ended up starting my treasure coast foster closet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and down in Stewart.
Speaker 3:It's just a you know, kind of a carousel of the the Items that you need for different ages.
Speaker 4:It's so crazy when you're not in it, you don't know, and then as soon as you're, it's like you're in this club, yeah, and all of a sudden you know Everybody that's fostering and they, they really it's a huge family and they pull together and I Mean that was really humbling well, you know, for for the Material support side, that you guys are talking about that, just that side of what that meant for you all to have.
Speaker 1:You know you get into it. You don't have really anything because you're kind of starting over and of course, right pre placement, you don't know if you're getting a 12 year old boy or a six year old boy or whatever it is right. So One of the things we launched many years ago as a support program just to anybody that's kind of in any way touching the outskirts are right in the middle of the child welfare system. We we provided that kind of sport, especially if you were licensed by us and so forth.
Speaker 1:But now that we've seen over the last couple years so many children going into relative and non-relative placements, which is basically, as you know, it's the same as foster care. It's just not not licensed and it's usually with a grandmother or an aunt or somebody friend of the family. But now we're talking, the numbers are outrageous. How many have been diverted that direction? It just in South Florida, and so, as a result of you know, thankfully I have a great board of directors. I went to them and so we need to divert here and go in this direction in a big way and fast, and the communities gathered around us to where we're serving about a hundred and twenty, hundred to a hundred and twenty families Regionally each month with material support.
Speaker 1:So it's just like you described as a move in and all of a sudden you don't. You don't have any of the clothing, you don't have the crib, you don't have the car seat. You know, maybe some food would be helpful all the, especially when we're dealing with all the inflation we're dealing with. That's a whole another issue right now. I've. You know, if I, if I were to Sort of bet, I guess I would think that there's, we're gonna, we're probably gonna, if this continues Economically the way it is with, with inflation, be a way it is, I think we're gonna potentially see less people Stepping up and stepping into foster care, simply because of the cost, you know, even though there are those supports out there.
Speaker 3:But for us, it's, it's probably. Becoming one of the fastest moving things that we're doing and help us and I love that, cuz you guys are even doing that, like you said, to keep them in relative care or something like that. And to me that's so incredible cuz I don't know if you've ever run into it we ever run into like a cynic, that doesn't. That looks at place of hope or any charity through Squinted eyes.
Speaker 1:Have you ever seen my truck? Never, never.
Speaker 3:Yes, of course but you know, just talking to to people who truly believe that charities are self-serving and that because that it's a business and not a charity, and for for me to see place of hope that's that is Reaching out to serve Children but also realizing what's in the best interest of the child sometimes is to be with a relative and to support that relative just like you would a foster family. Just that big picture mindset to me is something that just makes place of hope so much more real.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, it's interesting to the other thing I've always loved about Place of hope and our, you know, our board and our team is that we're very entrepreneurial.
Speaker 1:We're always going to be that way and that is that we can pivot and go in a direction where there's a need, and especially In the realm of owning our homes and our real estate and our apartment buildings, is that you know, if there's a, if there's just an overnight change in the population that's needing those homes or that apartment. So, for instance, we serve a lot more moms with dependent children right now, single moms who are found living in cars and homeless and living in parks and so forth, and some were in foster care, some weren't, but, as you know, they're a prime. I don't say target, but they're they're they're being potentially looked at for removal of their children because of poverty or because of a short term Running from something, and so to be able to take them in. Not only is it is it meeting the needs of those in need of a Healthy transition to success, but we're potentially keeping kids out of foster care.
Speaker 3:Yeah at the same time which is amazing, teaching them how to parents and with and with their mothers and, like you said, like for giving them that hand up, because Sometimes that's all it needs. But on the outside it can look so much like neglect and really neglect is a single mom who has no resources, who has no clue how to do it, who's loves her kid and needs help, and that's where place of hope can come in sure and give that love and and being able to turn and Meet those needs fast you know, why we're now on our new Stuart campus.
Speaker 1:That's gonna be a pretty much the number one thing we're doing up there is expanding affordable transitional housing, because Concurrently we talked about the economy, but look at the housing prices right?
Speaker 4:So it's really hard for people to make it right now and we don't want everybody just moving out of town, you know so yeah, I know what you said was something that we learned, I think initially, before we got into it, we thought all these are just parents who abuse or neglect their children and we were just so wrong or misinformed and learned that it's exactly what you're talking about and and the reason we wanted to do it is it's. It's. Sometimes it's just they're just felt a brawl teal and they don't have the help or the leg up or the resources, and place of hope has totally stepped in in that gap and really walked the walk but partnering with great people like you, because we can't do it without you.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, I've always said to never to forget that a lot of you know, we, we you talked about kind of the tumultuous side of Potentially having, you know, someone in your care when you meet with a match, straight having to go home, so and that's that's a tough thing to do and you know, even even when it's the right thing to do, it's it's still a tough thing to walk through, especially for you. I've never experienced that directly except for the kids that are, you know, on our campuses. Before then there's been some really Tough times. We've, you know, grappled with and wanted to wrestle and and so forth. But you know, there's just, there's that side of just knowing that we're here to plant seeds, you know, and so you know we have had a lot of young people that have gone home into bio families and so forth and made it and reported back and they're and they're doing great. But so you guys are seed planners, we're trying to seed plant, and that's, that's daily.
Speaker 1:Now you mentioned at one point to us the support you received from our former employee, who everybody on the planet knows, and that's Jenny O'Neill, you know, during your fostering journey. Yeah, she's awesome. Tell us, tell our listeners, about the help she provided you and and Jenny specifically, but also Jenny in kind of in her role Like, why was that important?
Speaker 3:When you were fostering the family support specialist. You guys still call it the family support specialist.
Speaker 1:I think we do, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:So we I feel bad and I don't know any of your current family support specialists, so if they're listening, I don't mean to insult them, but we got the best family support specialist that was available. Jenny was perfect for us and our family. She, her whole life mission, has been for the orphan. I think her and her husband Travis, became cottage parents like 22 oh yeah, like. So their entry to newlyweds was raising that critical group of five teenage boys, yeah, in a house. So while most 22 year olds I knew were not taking care of five teenage boys that barely taking care of themselves, I was gonna, that's what, that's what she was doing and what the call was on her life. So she ran our, our licensing class. She was extremely direct.
Speaker 4:She's just a no-nonsense kind of person and I think God knew that that's exactly what we needed, and she was a huge support didn't need them dancing around the issues, no. Give it to me straight.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and so she was. She's very obviously she's still empathetic and she has a huge heart. But she was just very real and I think when you're in it you know she's who I would go to. But for my mom, my mom's never been in this situation. She didn't foster and it is, I said, like a club before but it is. It's just you don't know. Right and so you know, when I needed to like vent or kind of just cry, she would hear me and listen. Of course, this is what it is.
Speaker 3:So here's what we're gonna do.
Speaker 4:Yeah and here's who you're gonna call, or I'll call this person and, and you know, chip, chop, chip and well because you're also naturally not just caregivers, your advocates, and so that's a whole another side of your personality.
Speaker 1:I'm certain that comes out when you're wanting to go to battle for this child. That's in your care, right, and so you want somebody who's gonna support that as well. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:I think Megan and junior, similar kind of in that make. Megan would have this huge folder of all their visits. You know when they happened, what they had, what happened with them if they were canceled, why they were canceled Different, you know. Just, her record keeping was meticulous and I'll spot on and we would go to these hearings, these placement hearings, and these case workers are overloaded with cases, so you see them being asked a question by the judge or the magistrate and they're fumbling through and they're usually saying incorrect information, like oh, I think the last one was yesterday, right, and then Megan would be like you know, we're in the back, just supposed to not have a part which is like I have the records of the visitations. Here they are.
Speaker 1:They haven't happened in four months, but that's exactly what should be taking place to create a quality care environment for a young person who's at the neediest point in their life Possible to have to be removed from family, placed in a system whatever you call that system foster care. And I can tell you right now I mean I've been doing this a long time not everybody has advocated at the level or been as organized at the level, or been just 100% for that child in every way, to take that kind of energy and apply it because that that's the way it should be and it's not. And as a result, you know, a lot of kids do really fall through the cracks or they don't get out as fast as they could, or they don't have the best.
Speaker 3:Outcomes. It would be very, very easy and I think that's what Jenny and that position was for us like they knew with their experience that she's no one. Don't trust the case manager, case worker, to keep those notes. You keep those notes.
Speaker 3:You take them if you don't have to go to these hearings, but if you can be there, because these are the things in conversations that are gonna come up, and if you can have that stuff readily available, so her have gone going through that could tell us. Another big thing. For that, I feel like for hers, are our placements didn't have at the beginning, a guardian of litem, mm-hmm, and we were told that we weren't going to so for people don't know, that's a courted court appointed advocate.
Speaker 1:Some states call them Casas, right?
Speaker 3:So we have in this town GAL for the child right because technically they look at us in those hearings and we're the foster parents. So our vantage point is obviously skewed towards the what's best beneficial for us. But a guardian of litem, that third party, can truly speak, supposedly to the best interest of the child, and we were told you're not eligible.
Speaker 4:That was a unique case, mm-hmm Because the?
Speaker 3:yeah, their biological mother was. It's talk about it being generational and cyclical. She was in the foster care system herself, Okay right underage.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and she had a part of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly yeah so it was like you know that.
Speaker 3:But Jenny got on that and, whereas us normally not knowing foster care is going through it, we probably would have taken that first responsive no, they're not eligible. Right, just stuck with it. And Jenny really went out there and Talked to people and explained the case and explained why she thinks they should have one and, lo and behold, no-transcript. One of their hearings. The guardian of the line of maternity was there and just had everything on there and voiced pretty clearly to the judge what they felt was in the best interest of the child, after they've been in our care for three years, was to stay unified with the only family they knew and I think that was extremely important. And I don't know that we would have fought those extra battles to make sure that they got that. I don't know about that. I think you would have tried for sure.
Speaker 1:We would have figured something out. But I mean, I like to always think about how we would train our entire program staff to be that advocate. Obviously, some are better than others, but that's the whole idea, is it truly is about best interest of the child, because none of us would really want to be doing this otherwise as a mission calling, or we've been called by God to do this work, and so why would we not want to go all out for it?
Speaker 1:But I'll tell you it's interesting over the years. A lot of people don't realize place of hope is not quote party to the case legally in these cases. So we're often in the same position as you guys might be, where we don't know something, we're not really allowed to ask about it, and not only that, but if we think something's wrong, we really think in some ways they don't care what we think, and so we've always managed to kind of push back there as well as much as we possibly can, maybe just a lot of times, using the leverage of being a well respected organization with, again, people like you is in the wings of that, and so we've had to use that leverage in the past and thankfully found the right voices most of those times. But without it it would be really really tough to do any kind of fostering, I think. So how has your experience as a foster family affected you personally? How has it changed your perspective and influenced your own life in?
Speaker 3:every way? Oh man, yeah, in every way. We started as a family of four and now we're a family of six. We have two sons that God grafted into our family that wouldn't have been ours. I think about the generational impact it'll have, which is something I don't think, I still don't truly fathom. I remember one time reading a commentary on Genesis, the King and Abel story, and King kills Abel and God says his blood is crying out to me. In this commentary I wrote that imagine from a God standpoint what that was. He just saw half of the potential of humanity at that moment wiped out.
Speaker 3:And that's kind of how I look at the children that place of hope is serving in the foster care. It's not just that child, it's generation upon generation of children and children and children that are coming after that. So the last name Wigglesworth what does that going to look like in two years? But for those who can't see us on the podcast or whatever, we're Caucasian and our adoptive sons are not, so they do not look like us. There's no question that they didn't come from either of us, and that's what I'm alluding to just how we've been impacted for that. Our daughters Mikaela, our youngest daughter, is going to school to get her master's in social work. She wants to be a genio, niel, when she was 10 years old. She's like I want to be a place of hope family support specialist, and she hasn't wavered from that since she was 10. And that's what she's going to school for now.
Speaker 1:Well, tell her to hurry up, because we're looking for people right now.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think it being generational for sure. I remember feeling guilty, actually, when we let our license, or thinking about letting our license expire. Once. We adopted two children and felt just guilty Because, again, we were still receiving those emails and what was once supposed to be one year, right, we made our deal with God. It went on for three and then now we're going to, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:And I remember having to call Jenny because I was really struggling with it and I don't know why, but I just needed her approval. It's okay, her approval, or just her giving me again the courage that it's okay. By the way, you're doing this for a lifetime now, or two children, and I knew it. But it was just like it's still your ministry, it's just going to look different and you don't need the license. And I think she even gave me like logistical reasons why it's better for place of hope, because then we can license more.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's something like that. It's like, oh right, right, right. Well, think about it. And, although different, I mean, yes, you are doing for lifetime with your boys, but also the things that you're doing, that we're talking about today, like doing this show where people can hear what it's really like. It's a whole lot different for me to just sit here and speak about statistics and what it's like and so forth. I've never fostered in my own home my wife and I haven't done that, so you can speak to that, not where I can and people are going to hear that when they have questions or who knows, it might just be used as the thing that God uses to call them and draw them in to hear more. Right, but also the things that you do as a family and as a company, and the summer splash that you're doing. All those things are allowing us to have that umbrella out there to hopefully find more people that will come in and do the hands on as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think the other thing, too Megan hit on. It was when we got into this. It was like I can serve kids and babies and I always thought of whoever's going to abuse, neglect or abandon a child. There's not much worse right Like scum of the earth, and that was my black and white viewpoint of it. And then we get in here and we find out about their biological mom and it becomes a lot more gray, a lot more convoluted and it's not as simple as good and bad, and I think so. That has changed our perspective of everything, with the boys being different races than us, even just the way we view racial relationships and stuff like that. We adopted our oldest changed his middle name is Ananias after Ananias and Damascus, because I truly feel, like him being our entry into foster care, that God used him to really pull back the scales on our eyes for just everything that it was going on there. So, yeah, it's impacted us and our children and their children and it's all right.
Speaker 1:One of the favorite things we do every year is our end of the year graduation for the kids that are in our care that are either finished in high school Well, actually, we try to celebrate kindergarten right around May, right, Kindergarten, middle school, we look at obviously high school and then we had college.
Speaker 1:So we had between we had 12 just this past week that we did our own ceremony with, and so forth.
Speaker 1:But just hearing them, seeing them want to be there they had their own at their own schools and so forth but now having this one at play and then just hearing some of their stories and some of them will go as far as giving you details about what things were like prior, you know pre-removal and so forth and just knowing that us as a community, community place of being able to do what we do, and just seeing the trajectories change, man, it is the best and I love it. So that's awesome and that happens to be one of my favorite things we do. I think you've I'm going to skip down then just a little bit of advice or suggestions you'd offer listeners who might be interesting, interested in fostering and maybe you know and want to make a meaningful impact how could they get started and navigate the process. Or you might say, hey, no, don't do it at all, Do this. I don't know what your answer might be, but I think there's a lot of ways.
Speaker 4:It doesn't necessarily just have to be taking in babies or children of any age into your home. You know you could get your foot wet by just I mean even just donating. You know, I think there was a Thanksgiving drive that we did one year, which was huge. I know our former employee that became a house parent. We did like a wigs.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Don't. There's just, you could start small. I think I would say start small, but for me personally it was going to an orientation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. I think if somebody is listening to this and thinking about it, that that's something they should be listening to, right, because I think there's so many people who you can go through and not realize. These are kids that are sitting in classrooms with your kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like they're not it's. These are kids in our community and if you're thinking about it, you're probably the person to do it. You probably are getting that calling. At least go learn more, right? Yeah, absolutely. So go find out. Have your questions answered like we do.
Speaker 3:We had a lot of reasons why not to do it and, to be honest with you, there was two reasons that never got eliminated, and those were that it would damage our biological kids in some way and that.
Speaker 3:The other one was we didn't know if we would ever be able to love a child and have them reunified, which was their case, plan goal for almost the whole entire time, and those fears never got taken away. They were just something that we had to address with it. I remember praying over that before we started and I felt like God again gave me a gut punch and said Lee, you're looking at this like you're biological kids. I can't take them home whenever I want and it just floodgates of he's right. I'm not guaranteed tomorrow with them. And he said I'm not asking you to care for them for their entire lifetimes. I'm asking you to care for them as long as I trust you as the custodian, to give them care, regardless of biological or foster, and that way it was very powerful and I in it changed our perspective even of raising our own kids. There are ours, but they're his.
Speaker 1:And there are so many ways, as you were describing.
Speaker 1:To people, I mean, I always say, hey, you could do a diaper drive, right, because we have a lot of babies that are in and out of care.
Speaker 1:We have babies in our maternity home and diapers are expensive, especially as we're helping these single moms in transition. Again, it's not a free for all program. It's a hand up to try to offset some of the things that make it impossible for that mom, for instance, to actually go back to school. Try to juggle three jobs, try to pay the rents that are fair market around this area and make all that work. And that's why typically, they won't right, and that's why the child welfare system's hovering right here a lot of the times and that's why people do miss one bill payment and they're living in their car and behind a bank. So if we can stop that and some of the ways are seem small, right, but they all come together to make a powerful impact. And that's why it just might be as simple as a food drive or a diaper drive or all the way down the line showing up and go into an orientation and just learning more.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think, and even we had people who were genuinely concerned for us and our family's well-being and had concerns about us doing it. I think sometimes the response is like, well, you can't help them all, and that's true, but if you can just do your one part, and even if it's not even just one child for one placement, it makes a big difference.
Speaker 1:It's like the Christmas wishlist thing. When you think about it, like you were talking about earlier, people say, well, how do I get involved in that? Well, you can look at a wishlist from one child. You could look at an entire cottage or foster family, or you can look at a whole campus if you want to. But if you just want to help one, that's fine with us as well.
Speaker 3:And thinking too of the churches. I know when we were going through it and I think even still now, our current church will do like give foster parents a date night. Yeah, and you can bring your kids to our Sunday school for this night on Wednesday once a month. And just that volunteer who's giving up their three hours to wrap with a child. Give so much relief to a foster parent. Absolutely so, just little things like nothing is too small.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, like you said, it can just be your time.
Speaker 1:Well, I appreciate all these ideas too, because I love putting it out there for people that might not even know the right questions to ask or what the pitfalls might be as barriers and so forth. But finally, summarize the significance of place hopes work in just a few words. I'll slow down my question how fast I ask it so you can think a little bit. What would you say to inspire others and supporting the mission overall? Because, after all, you're ambassadors.
Speaker 3:I believe we're called to be kingdom builders, that we are called to as Christ followers and Christians, to make his kingdom here on earth, to make earth look as much as it possibly can like heaven and place of hope, is doing kingdom work in their own, in our own backyard and people here in Florida. We don't have to fly everywhere, we don't have to trust that some organization here. This is an organization right here that I'm sure Charles would talk to them and answer any questions or get the right people that can't answer their questions in there, like you guys.
Speaker 2:Like us that are doing it.
Speaker 3:So I mean, that's to me. I don't know how to get more significant than that, than what place of hope is doing that. They're building the kingdom of heaven on earth for these kids. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, listen, you guys are true ambassadors. I love your story. I love, as I've watched it over the years, unfolded, continues to. You walked in here today to start the show with us, this episode, and you know I just saw the smiles on the boys faces and that just it says so much, as you know. I mean it's just seeing their smiles and knowing how they feel safe and loved and secure. And you know, you know I will likely leave here, go back to one of our campuses today and I made just very well see somebody that just moved in last night and they may not have that same, well, I know they won't have that same look on their face, but you know, to see, to know that it can transform and in the right circumstances, with God's power, will is, is a real blessing. So thank you guys for being ambassadors of hope at place of hope.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Thanks for still giving us the platform to tell our story, oh you'll be back.
Speaker 1:Thank you, guys, thanks.
Speaker 2:Welcome to hope and action. Today we have an inspiring story of ambassadors of hope shining a light on the incredible power of adoption. We are thrilled to announce the official adoption of two remarkable six year old twins who have captivated our hearts since day one. With great love and compassion, the dedicated house parents have welcomed them into their forever family, a haven where they are cherished and embraced unconditionally. This heartwarming development fills our lives with immeasurable joy and ignites a renewed sense of hope.
Speaker 1:So much can grow from even just one small seed of hope. Thank you for becoming a part of our community, helping us grow and become an ambassador of hope yourself. Please be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single uplifting moment. For further details and information on how you can connect with us, please go to placeofhopecom slash podcast. That's placeofhopecom forward slash podcast and we'd love to hear from you anytime. Please email us at pohpodcastatplaceofhopecom or find us on social media. Ambassadors of Hope, we'll see hope in a child's future.