Josh

Hi everybody. What a do baby boo. How are you? Great. How are you?

Erin

I'm a little tired today to be on Beyonce. Why? I don't know. I think I went to bed a little bit late. We did.

Josh

You go to bed slightly late.

Erin

Queer eye. Just really captivated my, you also

Josh

just get stuck on the couch. It's the problem. Yeah. I don't know what that is. Like literally, Erin will, the lights will all be off. I will have let Naah outside, locked all the doors, shut off all the lights, and Erin's just chilling on her phone. It's, I'm couch, I'm chilling.

Erin

It's that I have a magnetic attraction to the couch, to the cushion. It like won't let me up. And the thought of walking 200 yards to our bedroom, it's a problem. It is, and then I lay down and I'm like, why am I not tired

Josh

anymore? Imagine that. The other thing that happens is we'll start a show and then I'll look over and Erin will be clocked out for 30 minutes and then she'll wake up. Finish the show, then get on TikTok for another 30 minutes then she'll come to bed 45 minutes later and she'll be like, I'm not tired. No shit. You just had a power nap like 30 minutes ago.

Erin

I was pre-gaming for the real thing. Right. I don't have great habits in the arena. Yeah. Sometimes I'm great, but the last couple weeks I've got a little slack. Yeah. It's all right. It's just hysterical to be it's, but today I feel tired and I feel like All right. Time to change that habit again.

Josh

You should. Usually how it goes, it's a gray day today. Yeah. We went to bed a little late.

Erin

The pig lady broke me. I'm coming back.

Josh

Oh, let's talk about the pig lady for a minute. Okay.

Erin

Y'all. I was publicly shamed at a park on Mother's Day. Mother's

Josh

Day. We went to a park on Mother's Day and we're walking. Erin's got her pastries that she wanted all day. Zoe

Erin

was probably tired, is that We had a million sweets over the weekend. We Okay. I, yeah.

Josh

It was Mother's day. Don't sugar shame me. I didn't have any Anyways, Zoe was decent for the 15 minutes of that day and we're walking. There is a lady with a big ass pig on a leash, like a potbelly pig, like huge, wearing a vest, a walking vest I know with a leash attached to it. So naturally everyone's looking. And Erin pulls out her phone and that lady yelled at Erin. I pulled

Erin

my phone out because what else are you gonna do when you see a lady walking a pig at a park? You pull your phone out. Yeah. That's just the natural response fact. And she looks at me and she goes, don't you take a picture of me? And I was like, oh

Josh

bitch, you the one with a pig.

Erin

Anyways, I'm very conflict averse, and so I just scurried away and then was so anxious the

Josh

rest of my, I'm not, so I was ready, literally at the tip of my tongue. I was like well, maybe reconsider bringing a pig to a park next time. But I looked over at Erin and she looked unfazed, and I was like, oh my gosh. She let that slide right by.

Erin

Wow. And this is really

Josh

her own, I'm not gonna say anything. She did it. Then we kept walking. The whole rest of the day was decent. But then later that night, you kind of were like, hell off. And I just thought you were tired. Then yesterday, 24

Erin

hours later, a full 24 hours had gone

Josh

by. You had texted me and you were like, S sorry, I'm just a shell right now. I'm very aware we were like, whatever. You didn't even know that it was that yet. I, no,

Erin

I just a, that's when it started. But yeah, then it came to the realization that I was like, babe, I think the pig lady really made me feel some type

Josh

of way. You started like getting emotional, Sarah. Damn, I should have said something to that lady. Oh geez. So if anybody is listening to this podcast and you decide to bring your random ass pet that isn't normal to a park, expect to be recorded.

Erin

Yeah. I get it. I don't want people pointing cameras at me at the park, but you're

Josh

not bringing a pig to the park. That's the difference. You don't want people to take pictures of you, so you choose not to bring your pig.

Erin

In my mind, I was like, any personnel, like there's a guy at our local farmer's market who always brings his enormous snake. I don't know what kind of

Josh

snake it is. And everyone looks at him and he loves it. He loves it. He thrives. That's why he brings the snake. Yes. To

Erin

the parties. He stops. He lets people pet it. Yeah, that's normal. He's a dad with his little

Josh

daughter. Literally. She could have had brought a horse and it would've been more normal than a pig. Yeah, I probably wouldn't have pulled my phone out if it was a horse. I would've been like, oh my gosh, she has a horse

Erin

here. So I was expecting her to be like, Hey, like wave.

Josh

she snapped. She

Erin

snapped at me honestly, a

Josh

snake is more normal than a pig to me. Really? Maybe cuz I've seen it now multiple times at the farmer's market

Erin

pig. That's true. I don't know. I need to learn how to not let people's responses, penetrate my soul all the time, but, That one did it sure did.

Josh

Yeah. How are you feeling about it now? Oh

Erin

fine. I mean it's just funny. Yeah. When I realized Uhhuh, I mean I don't think that was really all of it. Probably I'm PMSing too, but when I realized that, that is like when my mood shifted, I was like, oh my God, Aaron. Some stranger at the park yelled at you and now you're, he just a little

Josh

baby. Yeah. I know. And you're like, what is

Erin

going on? I feel like you know what I need to do? Maybe I need to take up martial arts or something. I

Josh

was literally about to say, I go punch a punchy bag or something.

Erin

That could feel good. Yeah. Maybe I'll need to

Josh

incorporate something. You are on the anger triad. So just that's Let it all out.

Erin

I don't often feel well. Yeah. The engram,

Josh

I don't often feel angry. Anger triad on the Enneagram. Yeah. Cuz she's an nine.

Erin

The Enneagram was like our gateway into everything. Everything. Yep. Now it's I think less about the engram and more about it was incredibly impactful

Josh

on our relationship. Yeah. For sure. For sure. For sure. For sure. See told you And I'm a seven. Yeah. So I'm in the gut triad. Sac P,

Erin

that's you. Making decisions with your gut while I'm over here actually. Wait. Oh

Josh

yeah. It's fucked me over so many times cuz I'm not making decisions with my gut. Mm-hmm.

Erin

Mm-hmm. What are some decisions you're making with your gut? Everything

Josh

now good. It's all gut related. There you go. Yep. Speaking of gut, we were on the gut pharmacist the other day and it was so fun. Shout out Riley.

Erin

Hi, RI. Yes. It was very fun. She's

Josh

gonna be on our podcast next month. Yes.

Erin

Great ri it's a lovely naturopath who specializes in gut health and who has had and utilizes Ruti. She does. She uses Ruti testing with her a lot. It's so great. So that'll be fun to have our own. Yep. It was also our first time being interviewed. Yeah. We gotta work out

Josh

some of the kinks we do, man. It is a good practice. We're great at like shooting the breeze with each other, or we're not even that awesome yet on interviewing others. But being interviewed, I know we've actually never done it together. When I was in San Francisco, I felt like I was like, just. Flowing. Yeah. With my pitch for Ruti. Yeah. It's like literally leading with it and rocking with it. But then when we were together, I was like, oh shit, I don't know how to do this as a team. We'll get better. We'll,

Erin

that's part of what we're working on. Welcome to Startup Life. Yep. Tell us about San Francisco. Sure.

Josh

know what? I went into it with low expectation.

Erin

Yeah. Josh was like packing his bags and I was like, babe, you so excited. Oh my gosh. You're gonna be in San Francisco for a whole week, like West Coast. Yay. And he was like I don't know.

Josh

Yeah. I didn't know of, first of all, it was like a, it's called Wisdom 2.0. Which has been going on for years. Uhhuh, I think literally it's, this was the 14th year and they've had literally everyone in the mindfulness space from It's a conference. Yeah. Eckhart tole to Young Pueblo to whatever. So it's always stacked. But conferences can be weird. It's not your vibe Conferences. No. First of all, conferences aren't my vibe, but also, it can get weird, like

Erin

salesy or like

Josh

a little bit, and like if it's not organized well it just turns into boring and you spent all that money and then you're salty and yada. Yeah. So I was trying to keep my expectations low so I didn't get disappointed when I got there. I'm glad I kept my expectations low cuz they blew it out of the water. Yeah, it was awesome.

Erin

It was pretty much two or actually three topics that you are insanely into. Yeah. Which is mindfulness, wellness and health and ai. Yeah, technology.

Josh

All of your things. Yeah. It was incredible. They formatted it in kind of like a TED talk, so everyone that spoke. It was short. 15, 20 minutes. Except for Dr. Gabo. Who was the first night for two hours. It was That's awesome. Incredible. AI was definitely a topic, it was an interesting topic to incorporate into the mindfulness space. Some of those conversations got pretty heated. A lot of them sounded really fear-based and so it was a split 50 50 on whether or not people enjoyed that or not. Oh, interesting. It definitely shifted the energy cuz the speakers were definitely intensely speaking out of fear, what it felt like, fear

Erin

of what AI is gonna do. Yeah.

Josh

Oh, interesting. So it got really intense and I actually wasn't there for the most intense one. Okay. But it definitely shifted things for sure. Interesting. Okay. Sam Allman was there. Sam is the founder of OpenAI Chat, G P T which was really interesting. Jack Cornfield, who is like the godfather of mindfulness, he is Sam's mentor AI is going to continue to evolve and going to take over everything and so we all have to be prepared for that. There are like moral implications to that. And I completely understand that Sam really, he was answering based on what legal has told him how to answer. Oh yeah. So he definitely was beating around the bush. He definitely would just like point blank, not answer questions. He did an okay job. You could tell he is a super introvert and he's kind of just doing this cuz he has to, yeah. It was interesting. the first partner was there, which was awesome. The first partner of California, love that she says First partner because instead of first lady Oh. Because it's essentially putting a stake in the ground that it's going to be soon that a man isn't gonna be the only one as governor. Yeah. Or a straight couple. Exactly. Or a straight couple. Yeah. And so yeah, that was super incredible. Yeah. There were a lot of powerful speakers that I kind of underestimated. the meditations were incredible those experiences were like supercharged. It felt like everyone's energy was connected. I met the divine feminine in one of meditation. That was just epic. It was crazy. we went through like a guided visualization meditation. It was similar to what I would experience in a quantum leap, but I wasn't going based on a desire or living in a parallel universe. It felt like the divine feminine was meeting me inside of my meditation. But the guided visualization was really great, and we all went really deep into that.

Erin

Yeah. You said there was like breakout groups after, and multiple people had a similar

Josh

the speaker was creating a scene inside the meditation for you to meet the divine feminine. The divine feminine came and. I was in like the woods. She was, bringing in all of our senses, smelling our environment, feeling the bottom of our feet, our hands, what we're seeing, what we're hearing, all of those things. So it was really creating the environment inside of limitation. she suggested that we ask the divine feminine to take us, to show us what the divine feminine looks like. On this planet. And she took me to the top of a very large waterfall, what a waterfall would look like in Yosemite, is what it looked like. And she was telling me that the divine feminine is, the blood vessels of the earth, just like water goes throughout the earth. And then she pointed and there were boulders blocking the full flow of the waterfall. And she was like, that's the masculinity that's blocking the full flow. Oh, of the waterfall. And then interesting, the speaker asked us to ask the divine feminine to give us a gift, and the divine feminine gave me a hammer. And she essentially was like, the masculinity is going to take the masses to break this down. So start chiseling away and others will follow, Okay. And once the boulders are gone, the full flow will begin again, and then you're supposed to absorb the gift. So I absorb the hammer after the meditation. We didn't really break out into groups with it, but the people around me, All had similar meditations with waterfalls. Oh. Interest. There were five of us, two men, three women, and two of the women were behind the waterfall. And then the three, two of us men. And one woman were at the top of the waterfall. None of us were speaking. Yeah. During this meditation. It just was like we were energetically connected. Wow. It was crazy. I love that show. So yeah, that like set me off on a awesome ride for the rest of the, for rest of the weekend. at the end we were asked the question and we had to talk amongst the people around us, what our favorite part was. The people were hands down, the favorite part. The speakers were great and I definitely appreciated them and I'm thankful for them. But it was like church in a way where there was just this commonality that you didn't have to. Figure out. Yeah. Nor did I have to express it because it was already known. Yeah.

Erin

That's something that we both tend to struggle with when it comes to making deep connections with people. Yeah. It's like, where do I even start? it feels like

Josh

it's really difficult in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah. Because it's just not here.

Erin

I know there are people in the spirituality realm here, or in the healing space and whatever, I think it's difficult for me to even really express what's going on. Yeah. Within here sometimes. Totally. So, have that, the intent was just there. Yeah. Like anyone who's there is into mindfulness and meditation and Yep. Like the quantum world, I don't know. Yep.

Josh

Yeah. Yeah. So that was crazy. So your conversations got super deep really fast. Yeah. And you weren't talking about. The weather a hundred percent. Were not, met a bunch of good people still communicating with them, which is awesome. One of'em, Brian's gonna be on the podcast. Yeah. That'll be fun. So I'm excited to go next year. I'm excited for you to go next year. I know, I was jealous. The whole, you kind of go and then you come back it's difficult to share the experience that you had cuz it was so divine. Yeah. In so many ways. There's really no words. was really great. Good.

Erin

So relating to the divine feminine. Yeah. What does this look like in your life? The chipping away of the masculine?

Josh

Yeah. I think it's something that I personally have been aware of for a long time. The of the divine feminine. And it's something that I really appreciate at baseline, the divine feminine. So I think it's more so being significantly more conscious of empowerment inside of it. And encouraging the masculine because we both have feminine and masculine of course. Yeah. Energy. They just need to be used in the right times. Mm-hmm. And I think a lot of times when the feminine energy could be used, the masculine will overpower and then undermine what the feminine is ultimately undermining the divine feminine. Yeah. And I do believe that the divine feminine is the future. Yeah. I think that's partially what the awakening, the ascension of consciousness is right now. I think that not rebirth of the divine feminine, but maybe people are just more and more recognizing the power within the divine feminine. And the beautiful landscape that exists inside of that. And for both men and women. Yeah. Or non-binary, there is this rising of the

Erin

world. I think we're all realizing, we look around and we're like, fuck. What have we created at this point? Like it's all, but it's all been masculine energy. Yeah. Because you just think historically, whether it's religion or politics or any of our structures or systems or frameworks,

Josh

people that identify as female in politics, Flex their masculine energy. Because they have to. That's what I'm saying. Exactly.

Erin

It's like the only way to quote win in our world. Yeah. The way we've got it set up. Yeah. But I think a lot of people now are just recognizing I, maybe there's a better way. Yeah. I don't know if this is the best, but it goes back thousands of years obviously. Really? Yeah. From the beginning of humanity. Yeah. But

Josh

definitely seen as even like from a UX perspective of how people are navigating. And there definitely was a split of like how typical women flow through sites versus men. And that's even kind of starting to mesh really. Yeah. So interesting. I think there's just, it's definitely more an open conversation. And people are willing to have it. people are still defensive over the masculine. But that's becoming less and less, even brands e-commerce, it's all being recognized and. We call it mother nature or mother earth for a reason. Mm-hmm. the feminine energy needs to be reignited a lot of powerful good is gonna come from it. Yeah.

Erin

It's all the li it's the flow, it's the nurturing, it's the rest. It's like a hundred percent. It's also so powerful, but it's all these other things that we're just really lacking and Yeah. Squashing. Yep. With masculinity. Interesting. Yeah.

Josh

even from meditation to therapy, to all of these things that, required you look within to become healthy up was looked at to be feminine. masses are embracing this ideology. That the only way to love others is to love yourself. And the only way to heal is to go within. And the answers are there when you go search for them. Mm-hmm. That is such a beautiful, feminine piece of everyone. and the masses to get to the other side of healing, we have to embrace that.

Erin

Totally. Yeah. I think this idea of yin and yang is like this masculine, feminine, and essentially men balance out the women and women balance out the men. But it's like we all have all of that within us. Yeah. And if those two energies are not balanced and in flow, then that's when shit happens. I don't know if that's when things are out of balance.

Josh

Yep. Exactly. I think there's a lot to come inside of this. But it's being embraced more and celebrated. Mm-hmm. And it feels really good.

Erin

Yeah. and I also wonder just with all the conversations around gender happening right now, it makes so much sense to me that things are just more fluid than they used to be. Yes, a hundred percent. We didn't have all the language or, I've heard somebody describe it as gender is fluid and we just have more containers now than we used to have before. Sure. Before we had two containers. That was it. it's just, I don't know. It's just energies that we all have within us, and some of us choose to embrace more of them, or all of them. A hundred percent. And others

Josh

only. What if people that identify themselves as non-binary are just more in tune to source?

Erin

Yeah. I'm, I don't doubt it. Yeah.

Josh

Yeah. And all of it is worth celebrating. I appreciated meeting the divine feminine. Yeah. And I hope to continue making an impact for the divine feminine.

Erin

That's awesome. Keep chipping away.

Josh

so I'm about to pull it in cuz Yeah. I feel like you're working through a lot right now. Like what? Do tell. Maybe that's

Erin

the problem. maybe that's why I feel

Josh

tired because you're working through it. Speaking of divine feminine, you've been working through a bunch of things even though maybe you haven't been able to identify her, but like to pick lady for sure triggered you in some way. Dammit, pig lady. Wink, Wink. But there's been a lot of stuff going on that you just are going in and out of, and there's a lot going on with Ruti and all of the things that you're trying to work on. Gleaning as much knowledge as possible, but never satisfied what's going on? Yeah, we haven't actually fully talked about this. What is going

Erin

on? Latch? I don't know. I have struggled with. Insecurity, lack of confidence, feeling like I can't do hard things. For a long time. Mm-hmm. College, honestly the source of it is that I have developed my sense of self from a very early age. Yeah. Through the eyes of other people. Like I still don't know my own perspective in so many ways. Which is just wild. Like I'm in my thirties it's just really hard for me to embody my own perspective. I'm always decisions and striving for things and whatever, from the viewpoint, at least what I perceive as the viewpoint of somebody else. So what will so and so think or what will this group of people think, what will make so and so happy? that's where a lot of it

Josh

stems from. And when you do build your own perception, you don't trust it. No.

Erin

Yeah. Yeah. it feels foreign to me, is the best way to explain. It's like a language. I don't speak yet.

Josh

Yeah. You go in and out of that. Yeah. There's

Erin

a sometimes day where I feel

Josh

empowered, watch out world, like Erin's on top of everything and she's super confident, and then the next day it's not, it feels like you're going through the dark night of the soul a little bit though.

Erin

A little. Mm-hmm.

Josh

Yeah. There's a lot of past stuff coming up recently. Yeah. Just like past tendencies. Past habits. Yeah.

Erin

Like relationships past that are still, yeah. I dunno. I think that a lot of people have their dark night of the soul through physical stuff like you did. Really

Josh

bad. I think that was one. I don't think there's just exclusively one dark night of soul. No. I think I've gone through many in the past two or three years. Yeah. Very identifiable moments and it's not like a night. No. I wish, dark. I feel like at the beginning of the year I went through another dark night of soul and came out different uhhuh. I guess it's part of life in a few ways. You're continuing to ascend.

Erin

Yeah. I don't, but it feels like you're, that's what you're going through. And it feels like there's resistance that I'm really trying to resist. Which is funny. It's like super huge piece of it. I know. I feel resistance and I'm like, no, don't resist. And then I'm like resisting the resistance. Yeah. And then how is that gonna get me anywhere? For sure. I don't, I need to find more of that flow and intuition.

Josh

Yeah. Approaching a little bit more with curiosity and stuff. Uhhuh. Yeah. And anger.

Erin

Yeah. I am constantly trying to stay in my body. it's an effort for me to stay in my body. It's so interesting. I just want to go somewhere else and not think about it, not on it, not change it.

Josh

Have you ever investigated that before? Like what if that is a good thing going away? What if your ability to go away is able to tap into something?

Erin

maybe that's a good thought. If it was, maybe you had a little more intention behind it, but for me it ends up just being like, oh shit, four hours just went by and I didn't do a damn thing.

Josh

Yeah. Maybe you were meant to do something in that space and you just didn't, instead of the idea of what the westernized world has called productivity. Yeah. Maybe you were meant to be doing something else inside of that space. because I tend to be pretty in my body unless I'm intentionally going outside of my body, to parallel universes or something casual. But the pole that I have to California that we talk about often is on that cellular level where I'm unconsciously there. Yeah. Often. And it's not like this dream or fantasy that I'm creating. I just, my consciousness is constantly pulled there. What if you, wherever you are outside of your body, if you tapped into that a little more, what if you were actually someplace

Erin

interesting? Now I wanna try that. Yeah. I don't know. I've just been having these vaguely bizarre, I don't even know if they're spiritual experiences, but one of which I think we've talked about on here is I keep having this. Bizarre thing where I'll see strangers in public. Yeah. And I genuinely I'll be like studying their face and like, where do I know you from? I know you. I know you, but I don't know them. at one point we were in the airport and it was like probably 80% of the faces that I saw. Yeah. I felt like I knew them. That was very strange to me. And I don't know if that's like Christ consciousness where I'm just like seeing God's source in all things and Sure. So I don't know what that is, but that I enjoy. But another weird one that happened recently was our daughter is going to kindergarten in the fall, and at least that's the plan. I don't know for now, but we were at, they had a welcome meeting about kindergarten. So we're sitting there and, folding chairs and a little,

Josh

It was elementary school like. The exact thing that you would expect for a very typical kindergarten, like suburban

Erin

open house. Yeah. Yeah. And we're sitting there and I just keep having this really weird feeling in my body that is, this is not my life. That's the only way I can explain it was like, this is somebody else's life. This is not my life. And it made me so squirmy. I just was looking around and it's I can't even describe why I love where we live. I lo it's so safe and quaint. There's, charm everywhere. Yeah. I love our neighbors. I love our little town. And I was not expecting to feel that way. I don't know. We were just sitting there and I was like, this is somebody else's life. Yeah. This is somebody like, it felt like I was in the Twilight zone. I dunno. Yeah. So shit that keeps happening and I don't know what to do with it. It's like terrifying to me. Yeah. To live a completely different life than what I am. Used to, sure. Like change. You resist. It scares me. Yeah. I don't know. to some degree probably change scares everybody. But I keep trying to remind myself like, okay, my brain, my nervous system, like the job of the brain is to keep me safe, right? To keep hundred percent me things stable. And the unknown is never going to appear safe to the brain and the nervous system. But if you want to do anything new or different or big in your life, it's gonna require doing something that you've never done

Josh

before. change for you comes with a bit of friction. This is true, but it does feel like. All that's going on Gosh, for me, it feels like we're on the cusp of something. Ous. Yeah. Not even just in Ruti, just in our life period. I know, but

Erin

that even makes me feel like,

Josh

I know. It's so interesting. I think there was a point where that really scared me and now I feel fairly locked in that I'm like, universe, send the best. Let's go. I'm ready. I was telling you yesterday, I started tapping into my energy a little bit more on my meditations. I'm using like 4 32 hertz, just like background noise and unguided meditations right now that's in my jam. And yesterday was it, or the day before my mind wasn't racy, but. I've been thinking a lot. so I was like, let's tap into this. Let's see, what thoughts are resonating and what thoughts aren't, which is something, I don't know if I've ever approached in that way. So I started asking myself certain questions or I would just allow my thoughts to go wherever they wanted. And then I would ask the question like, is this a frequency that I'm on or not on? And I pay close attention to what I call my heart chakra, just as maybe that's my sacl. I don't know, just it lights up. I get those excitement butterflies, and I would think about certain things and there'd be nothing. And then I'd think about other things and my whole body would light up with this feeling tingly chills, this like exciting butterfly feeling. At the top of my stomach. And it felt like I was tapping into the different energies that I was aligned with. Mm-hmm. It took the fear of change out of the equation because I felt fully aligned, energetically interesting. And it felt divine. It felt like I was, yeah, not only following my intuition, but I was tapping into source, being like, okay, is this something that can serve me? Or is this something that's gonna do harm? Mm-hmm. And it felt like I was just going through a checklist of yep, nope. Yep. Nope, nope. And it took guesswork out for me. I, it's so hard to describe, but as I was going through it, it felt like my brain was bringing up things that had nothing to do with my desire. And it literally was just checking in with my body. on an energetic level, I was able to say, Yes, I'm here for this, or no, this isn't gonna serve me well, even though it sounded great. It was crazy.

Erin

I wish I was more in tune with the energy in my body. I definitely more am more now than ever,

Josh

but yeah, even just the awareness. You texting me yesterday saying, you're a shell, like I'm working through it. Yeah. Wouldn't have happened two months ago. Yeah.

Erin

I think I learned my lesson after so many conflicts of me not bringing it up, thinking it will go away. Yeah. So yesterday I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna just tell him and it worked. Yeah, totally. I mean it, even just the act of verbalizing it, even though that was through a text, helped to move some of that energy, yeah. I am constantly listening to people talk about what you're talking about. Or even like crazier things like Yeah. Face shifting and third eyes opening and all this stuff. And I deeply. Just want to be psychic. Like I just, I want more of that. And it almost frustrates me that I can't tap into it. It's like, how do I open up to that world? Why do you

Josh

wanna

Erin

be psychic? I don't know. I've always been like that, like even in religion. I wanna see God, I wanna hear God. I can feel God sure, but I want a fucking vision. I don't know. and I still feel like that, like waiting for my kundalini awakening or something, which is just interesting. I don't know. But then it just all ends up being talk because none of it actually comes to fruition in my life, which is frustrating to me. But I don't really know why I'm telling you this. I'm just a thought. No,

Josh

this is good thoughts.

Erin

I just wanna be

Josh

psychic. the reason I was asking you why you wanted to be psychic, cuz it sounds more like a control of knowing. Instead of just releasing and observing what already exists.

Erin

I think I'm just so spiritual. I feel like more of a spiritual being than a physical being in a lot of ways. Yeah, same. but then I don't know, this inability to communicate with that realm or something makes me feel disconnected from it.

Josh

So I don't know. You can be very heady though. The consumption that this is the most, since I've known you, that I've seen you do it. You are just consuming knowledge.

Erin

Information, yeah. Head information. You

Josh

are consuming information at a rapid rate right now, and it feels like the more you consume, the less satisfied you are. That's accurate. And then the more you consume, the more insecure you are about what you know.

Erin

Yeah. Because it, the ocean keeps getting bigger is what I feels like. Ocean is infinite.

Josh

Yeah. once you can stop being so heady and tap in to the energetic side of things that is determining thoughts, think that's going to be of your Kundalini awakenings. Kini Quin.

Erin

Yeah. definitely identify with the mind I'm learning from Eckhart that identifying with the mind. And with physical time is disconnecting me from Yeah. Being sure. From source, from all that Yeah. That I really wanna be in touch with. Yeah. But you can't do both. No. Like you've gotta detach from the mind and from physical time if you wanna tap into mm-hmm. just still feels borderline impossible. I like I, conceptually understand it, but obviously that's not the point. I don't know.

Josh

I think is also why this could be identified as dark night of the soul. Yeah. The amount of consumption that are looking for outside source to tell you when it's, the answers are all within. are constantly looking for answers. Mm-hmm. And constantly feeling inadequate in what you know, because other people are flexing what they know. once you release that, yeah, you're gonna have a lot of enlightenment. When I was going through my most recent dark Night of the Soul the beginning of the year, kind of went dormant on everything on the outside. Because I genuinely believe in order for you to continue to ascend, whatever that looks like, and whatever your definition may be on that, have to align with yourself within, nobody else can help you with that. Yeah. The modalities that exist are not mediators. The modalities that exist for you to have that awakening just meant for you to go deeper and deeper inside yourself. Yeah. They're all pointing you back to yourself. A hundred percent. when you're listening to podcasts or lectures or teachings, like, we talk about this all the time, even like with breathwork, Kimberly is an awesome facilitator, but are doing it. Mm-hmm. It's you. And so same with meditations or same for whatever mirror talks or mirror gazing. Mm-hmm. whatever. the mirror is a modality. But what is within you is going to give you the answers. Yeah. you connected your phone to my car the other day. wasn't one song playlist. It's anywhere in sight on your Spotify.

Erin

yeah, You're right. I am constantly, whether it's in spirituality, like I'm always listening to like PT now, ritual's wife or all these other spiritual people.

Josh

She is an example of the divine feminine. Oh yeah.

Erin

And she always talks about how like your only job this lifetime is to know. You. Yeah. know your unique perspective because what else is there for you to do? Yeah. We are each a unique, there's not another me on this earth.

Josh

No. grandmother of divine feminine.

Erin

Yeah.

Josh

you are listening to all of these people consuming all of their information, but it's theirs. And then you feel inadequate. it's interesting. This is just like a outsider looking in. Mm-hmm. goes school on longer days, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mm-hmm. You consume more on those because you have more time. And then it feels like on Wednesdays and Fridays you're spiraling.

Erin

Oh,

Josh

interesting. Because you've consumed so much more. You've watched another course, you've read another journal, you've listened to another super smart podcast. then you're like, I don't know anything. Yeah. I shouldn't be head practitioner at Ruti. I'm like, do you have any idea how much you know on Riley's podcast? You sounded like a fucking wiz. was like, what are you? I don't even know what you're saying. Yeah.

Erin

but like, it feels like there's so much out there and I am so keenly aware of how much of it, I don't know. In relation, if you

Josh

don't hear anything, yeah. Just hear this. I don't give a tiny little shit about what you know. Outside of yourself. Yeah, I know. Literally none of that is going to make me love you more. It's not gonna make anybody else love you more. Yeah.

Erin

I just wanna be legit. If you,

Josh

yourself, who

Erin

cares? You. I wanna help people. It feels necessary to know everything to help

Josh

people could feel legit in yourself. Yeah. I think everything else will be legit.

Erin

also like I hear about these, like they call themselves medical intuitives or intuitive medical practitioner. I don't know. It's like there is an element of intuition. nobody knows everything. There's a lot of people that know a lot of things,

Josh

Do they know themselves? I am. genuinely is the only thing that matters. Yeah. Seriously. I'm going to celebrate all day long support you fully with investigating what's within the more you know that the rest doesn't matter.

Erin

Yeah. I don't know why that seems like insignificant work. I know. It's like the whole point, it's

Josh

the opposite. I know. Like the complete

Erin

opposite. Yeah. just feels like, what good is that gonna do in the world? But like, if I know everything, how to help help people heal, I'm

Josh

like energetically scared that a lighting bolt's gonna come through our house right now. Sources like you listen here.

Erin

Oh man. No, I mean, I know it's right.

Josh

What stops you from really, really going in?

Erin

think it's all, it's all the ambiguity of it. Like the vagueness, the, like, there's no script for this work. want a script, like I want a syllabus. I want somebody to sit me down and be like, First we're gonna meditate for 45 minutes. Well, I

Josh

there's modalities that are out there. Yeah. That help aid in that for sure. I wouldn't say it's a course, but

Erin

yeah. I don't know. I think also, and we've talked about this, but I'm also sometimes a little bit, afraid that what if I look inside and there's like nothing. It's like what am I gonna find? Yikes. I mean, I guess I feel that somewhat, but I'm also like, whatever I find I will figure it out I guess. But I think the fear that I'm gonna look inside and I'm like, there's nothing interesting there that feels little bit frightening. It's similarly to like, wanna be psychic. I wanna have all these spiritual gifts. Yeah. I want it's, but it, they're not. So then I just think well, I look inside, there's not gonna be anything worth finding there.

Josh

Sure. think there's a whole lot to find. Yeah. I think the more that you tap in with yourself on whatever energy you choose that to be, more you're gonna find and the more you're gonna tap into those frequencies and experience the spirituality that is intended for you. Mm-hmm. I mean, Julie's freaking talking about five reincarnations before her. Yeah. And knowing that she's from like Planet 13 or whatever. And it's like, where she's at spiritually, uh, like, shoot, dude, that's crazy. Yeah. But that may not be where the next person is. Yeah. Like she can tap into that shoot.

Erin

Maybe this is my first time being a human. Maybe this is why I'm having such a hard time Maybe my soul is just like, we're new here.

Josh

You were a bird before or something? Yeah, just

Erin

flying free. knows? I feel like I was a water dwelling animal.

Josh

Pisces? Yeah, sure.

Erin

No, I feel like I need to go on some like meditative retreat. Nobody's allowed to talk to me for seven days while I figure out my show. Yeah, there are those. I know.

Josh

think I'm gonna be doing one of those really within the next year, I think. Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. I think it's in my future. I know if I'll do a full week. They may, they do three days, five days, seven days. I think they go all the way up to 45 days.

Erin

Whoa. Of no talking at all. Yeah. Wow. Silent meditation. No offense, but that's gonna be extra hard for you. Yeah. Boy. Likes to

Josh

talk for sure. But I think it could be really impactful. Yeah.

Erin

Things I wanna do in the next year. Combo. Psilocybin. Silent, meditative retreat. else? don't know. Josh was like, move

Josh

to California. I said it in my brain.

Erin

I knew. I knew you did. can't promise that in the next year. Same. Here I am wanting to do psilocybin.

Josh

Yeah. I'm excited for you to do it. Oh man. think everyone listening is here to support you. Oh, thanks everybody. Mm-hmm. you, knowing you is what matters most. Yeah.

Erin

I mean, I would say that to literally every other person you do say it to every other person. Oh no.

Josh

you have so much knowledge

Erin

to share with the words. I don't know. So here's the thing, I wanna figure out how to, when it comes to, to head knowledge, like regarding health healing, et cetera. Yeah. I just. I don't know that I'll ever be satisfied. Like I think I always, I think I want to enjoy the pursuit of that knowledge and not feel like I'm feverishly trying to consume everything so that I can, I don't

Josh

know. I'm so interested to see over time, if you do continue doing your inner work, if the word satisfied is gonna be what you use. Mm-hmm. I think knowledge is a gift. Yeah. And I think the more you know is just Yeah. Continuous gift.

Erin

it was just for me, I would be, mm-hmm. Like I genuinely, because my role is helping other people heal, I feel like all this pressure. Yeah. To know everything because I don't wanna lead people astray. Like I don't want to not know everything that can help them. You know?

Josh

there is aous component of the individual Yeah. With their inner knowing that is going to be required in order to continue on the path of healing. you can't give that to them. You can just encourage it. And one of the greatest ways of encouraging it, Is doing it your self.

Erin

that's true. thank God for bio energetics, cuz that is really what guides my practice and my work with clients and stuff. Yeah. So I always feel confident knowing that like, we're literally working with your body mm-hmm. Asking your body a question and your body is telling us what it's ready

Josh

for. It's literally proving that the

Erin

answers are within. Yeah. And so every other piece of knowledge is kind of like cherries on top, you know? but I still, I don't know. And your

Josh

knowledge of interpreting it is pretty insane.

Erin

Yeah. I've learned a lot over the last four years or so. But still just, I wanna be able to like, snap my fingers and make people feel like a million bucks and I just know that's not reality. Yeah. I wanna be like, take this supplement and do this three times a day figure

Josh

out how to do that. Yeah. We gonna be real set.

Erin

Yeah. I mean it's just, I think cuz I've seen people suffering, you included. Mm-hmm. And I want to relieve suffering. Like that feels like my, we're in

Josh

business too. We're seeing it every single day. Yeah. I mean, every single day I'm getting dms of people in really rough shape. Yeah. So there is an urgency in that. Yeah. I just want this to get out more and more, I know the only way to do that is to be fully in tune with myself. Yeah.

Erin

maybe I'll be a completely different person next podcast.

Josh

You know, that could for sure happen. Yeah. And I don't think you need to have some insane event happen in your life in order for it to happen. Yeah.

Erin

All right. We're gonna go meditate now.

Josh

the more I go down my human design mm-hmm. Especially with. The idea of being so in tune with energy, cuz that's my largest feeling The more I feel it. And I am starting to be able to not see it yet. Although I feel like that's coming. Like when, what's it Jordan? Is that her name? Mm-hmm. Was saying she could like see her third, the third eye opening. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah. I'm going to get there. Cool. Continuing to like work. Yeah. but feeling it now is where I'm at. Yeah. that feels like superpower. is because it's, my truest inner self. You have that too.

Erin

I know. I need to figure out with human design though, cuz Like it changes by every 15 minutes, and I don't know exactly when I was born. Yeah, yeah, So there's times where I'm like second guessing like, have right map? Mm-hmm. chart. I don't know.

Josh

But I think we all have these superpowers. If we can tap into the source and the more we tap into source, the more it's gonna happen. That's all. Yeah. And in order to do that, you have to lead with curiosity. You can't lead with judgment. I know. Or the complacency, or even that idea of comparison, which is mm-hmm.

Erin

all three of those was my top three.

Josh

you've got this babe.

Erin

Thanks.

Josh

Mm-hmm. Tap into that divine feminine. I'm proud of you for even being curious in all of this, though. I'm proud of you regardless, but even just asking these questions shows you No, there's more. Yeah.

Erin

Yeah. I just wanna, don't know, free myself from the frustration and the friction and the resistance. Like I just wanna like be open. Mm-hmm. Stay open. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think maybe that's just a practice that I haven't for sure quite devoted myself to yet. Sure.

Josh

We're getting there. But I'm just saying like you're making moves. Yeah. So yeah. Thanks. Don't underestimate

Erin

power. Feel those, I feel. Yeah. I mean, I do feel proud of myself in a lot of areas, but this is one that just makes me feel a little bit, I don't know, frustrated, I guess. Yeah.

Josh

this was good.

Erin

Yeah, it was. I'm exhausted, but it was good. Yeah.

Josh

But we hadn't caught up like that in a minute though.

Erin

Yeah. I wonder what other couples talk about when they're on

Josh

the couch. They don't have mics in front of'em. Who knows? I encourage people to do that.

Erin

Yeah. Record yourselves. So when you're 80 you can listen back and be like, oh, that's little whipper snappers. Yeah.

Josh

But anybody listening too, like this is encouragement just to continue to investigate what's on the inside. Yeah. And be so curious for whatever's there and approach it with grace. doing that inner work is a constant journey. That's what we talk about all the time, that you're never just fully healed. are gonna continue to evolve and continue to find out new things about yourself and just be so much more gracious

Erin

with yourself. Yeah. Living out of alignment. Yeah. We're choosing things. It's a great way to put it. Yeah. We're committing to things we're whatever, that are not serving us or are not within our, whatever you wanna call it,

Josh

frequency. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can't find that though, until you just continue to go inward. You don't

Erin

even know you are. Exactly. yeah. You gotta know that before you can find what aligns with you, Also, I think probably both of us were given a lot of scripts about what we were allowed to align with. Like What was safe to align

Josh

with?

Erin

more and more I'm trying to shed all the conditioning and like, okay, what is just really the root of things. Yeah. Like the core of me and Yeah. Yeah.

Josh

We're all on the journey. That was just the, coolest part about Wisdom 2.0 is that everyone acknowledged that everyone was on the journey. cool. There was no like, spiritual comparison or somebody was more than the other. Mm-hmm. Some people had like gone and done multiple ayahuascas or done 45 days silent meditation retreats. One lady had done it for a year trying to figure out if she was supposed to be what she was in. Like everyone has their own experience in this, but it was just this collective energy of excitement that all everyone was doing inner work or else you wouldn't be there. Mm-hmm. just wanna be more a part of that. Yeah. And regardless of where you are in that journey, for it to be celebrated. Mm-hmm. yeah, that's what I'm here for with Ruti, with inner work, whatever's gonna come of Ruti because of inner work. Mm-hmm. Like all of it, just want it to be celebrated and it to be more mainstream

Erin

They're more accessible, like more of an option. I don't know. It just was never really even on the forefront of our consciousness until recently.

Josh

I'm stoked because it feels like it's happening more and more. I mean, like I'm proof of that. Yeah. are people way before me that were fully aware and fully ascended. Mm-hmm. And they just look like quack jobs. Mm-hmm. And now it's not that. So. Yeah. I'm proud of us.

Erin

Me

Josh

too, babe. Well, Y'all. We love you. We love you so much. I love you. I love you.

Erin

I love me. There we

Josh

go. you only love me as much as you love you. It's true. So would you love yourself more? Just kidding. This has been good. I'm glad we got to finally catch up. Me too. Thanks for listening. Y'all Bye.