Josh 0:54

Feel so much better in

Erin 0:55

contacts than yesterday. Oh, in context. Sorry. In contacts. Oh, do I need hearing aids? Yes. I even have you in my ears right now. You feel so much better in context. Oh yeah. Just like aesthetically or not having the cumbersome glasses on your

Josh 1:11

Face, those things got in the fucking way. Yeah. All day long. And I was constantly having to push them up. Yeah. They got in way with my hats my ears would hurt

Erin 1:18

after this. I feel like when I'm at work and I have to wear a mask for 12 hours Yes. It hurts my ears. And so I could understand why wearing glasses all day would hurt. Yeah. Gotta get you Lasik. Boy. Yes. I was reading something about lasik. Oh no. Sound bad. There's always something about it so annoying. It's like you can't even get your tubes tied. You can't even get your LASIK done. Can't even get breast implants. is life even worth living anymore?

Josh 1:41

My tubes tied. Yeah, I was just reading about it too. I know.

Erin 1:44

you gotta be fertile for eyes for the rest of life.

Josh 1:47

Ridiculous. I was just reading something about that. I know. Cause I was like, oh, I gotta get that done. Like I might as well. And then I was like, lemme read up on it cuz it kinda feels unnatural and then it's like, mm-hmm. It's, yeah.

Erin 1:58

And there's, I forget the percentage, but a certain percentage of guys will have like persistent testicular pain for the rest of their 13. Wow, that's a

Josh 2:06

big So high. Yeah. 13%.

Erin 2:09

Yeah. That doesn't feel worth

Josh 2:10

it. You wanna know the percentage of it being oopsy Dupy. What? Guess higher than you think. Really? It's not 1%.

Erin 2:18

18. Nine nine. Okay. That's a, that is a lot. That's such a high percentage. So you won't even have peace of mind knowing Josh?

Josh 2:26

Nope, I'm not. Absolutely not.

Erin 2:28

You'll have sore balls and maybe a baby.

Josh 2:31

Yeah. What an ad side effects sore nut sack and a baby.

Erin 2:38

Oh, bummer. Yeah. I can't remember who posted something about LASIK being bad for you, but,

Josh 2:43

oh, it's so annoying. I know. I don't remember

Erin 2:45

why. Pretty much any surgical alteration on your body is gonna have, but like a potential

Josh 2:51

side of that, maybe slightly t m i, but my eyes and my nuts are two very important things I care about.

Erin 2:56

Yeah, I know. don't mess those up

Josh 2:58

either of them.

Erin 2:59

Yeah. Now I'm curious, is there a part of your body that you would just like willingly give up to medicine? Oh, like my

Josh 3:05

hyperhydrosis? Oh yeah, for sure. I'd be like let's

Erin 3:08

try it. Okay. What is that procedure?

Josh 3:10

so it's a new procedure cuz it used to be where they literally snip the nerve, which sounds terrible. Yikes. But it's a process now where it's retraining the nerve. Okay. And what they do is they clamp it, which can be undone at any given time. Okay. that clamping essentially retrains the nervous system to reroute those nerves.

Erin 3:30

Remember there's that kid in our high school who had that. Procedure where they snipped it, but instead of sweating Prouse, do you know who it was? Profuse? Yeah. Don't say his name. Oh. Instead of sweating profusely from his hands and armpits, it moved back an his butt. Yeah. So then he just said,

Josh 3:44

swamp, irreversible, but now it's reversible. Okay. Okay. I understand that hyperhidrosis is really just a hyperactive fight or

Erin 3:51

flight. Yeah. Has that improved at all? None since you've healed. No. Really? Yep. For a while you did that like electrode, whatever. Yeah, but it's

Josh 3:59

gave me panic attacks.

Erin 4:01

I guess. I'll take the sweat.

Josh 4:03

I was, don't you remember? Yeah. I had to wake up in the middle of the night and full out panic attacks. But you weren't sweaty. Yeah, but my hands were dry. It just came out a different way. Then, dude, bodies are so weird. The hyperhidrosis was like, we'll dry up, but we're gonna fuck you over.

Erin 4:17

That was a special intro. Seriously. A to Dela, Josh's bodily

Josh 4:22

quartz doulas hyper bro. Joseph is bad though. I would get that clamped. Yeah. In a split second.

Erin 4:28

Yeah. That's especially nice to know. It's reversible. Is it like a big deal revers? Like how breast implants are technically like you can take'em out. No, it's microscopic, microscopic, laparoscopic. It's laparoscopic. That's what you have me here for Uhhuh, meaning they go in with a tiny little scope. Yeah. Laparoscopic. Yeah. That's what I said. Not like a big incision. Oh, okay. Yeah. Great.

Josh 4:49

Laparoscopic. You for

Erin 4:52

sure said microscopic. I didn't, no, really? You said it. Now I'm

Josh 4:59

questioning. I edit shit. Nobody's gonna, they're gonna think you're crazy. I edit this shit. You start editing the podcast. You do.

Erin 5:06

Speaking of that, we're talking about marriage today.

Josh 5:09

We sure are. We're talking about relationships.

Erin 5:12

We are. Somebody asked us to do one about relationships as a spiritual practice, which is something that we've really been delving into a bit.

Josh 5:20

You need to do your intro.

Erin 5:22

Oh, hi everybody.

Josh 5:23

What a do baby

Erin 5:25

boo. We just already have so much content. Oh, we're not cutting all that. That's good.

Josh 5:30

Okay. Uhhuh. Yep.

Erin 5:31

So should I do Hi everybody again, or no? Yes. Hi everybody.

Josh 5:35

That's terrible. It sounded like you were like choking on

Erin 5:38

something. Cuz it's gonna come after that, so it has to be kinda like, okay. Hi everybody. Do you get what I'm putting

Josh 5:43

down?

Erin 5:44

Get it. I edit this podcast. You just lost 42 listeners. Okay. Hi everybody.

Josh 5:49

What it do baby Boo. How are ya? I am a lot better than I was yesterday. Yeah, We tried to record this podcast yesterday and I was too sick to do it. True. And that doesn't happen very often. It's very rarely these days because I know how to be, be sick.

Erin 6:03

Josh used to do that every day. Yeah. Now it's once every quarter. I dunno

Josh 6:07

what yesterday was

Erin 6:08

though. I don't know. We were trying to decide some common phrase in our house now is. Is it blank or are we ascending? So is it covid or are we ascending? Was it expired cream cheese or are we ascending? We

Josh 6:22

don't know. Who knows? Yep. But I started feeling like super brain foggy headache and slight upset stomach the day before so yesterday was Father's Day, which was a Sunday, Saturday. I started to feel it, and then I woke up feeling pretty decent, but then I went downhill from when I woke up to when I went to bed on Sunday. It was terrible. I l nobody else can see the face that you're doing. But you're making like a face, like a stank face.

Erin 6:46

It's, I'm making a face that's saying the details are important. Blush, nobody cares about the timing of it all. Nope.

Josh 6:52

They care. Okay. I have a reason why I'm telling the timeframe. Oh, okay. Erin. Anyways, dude, hell the Schumann residence.

Erin 7:01

Like our neighbors named the Schumanns. It's not residents. It's resonance. It's resonance,

Josh 7:05

which I don't know much about, but I started to do a little bit of a rabbit hole, deep dive into the Schumann residence. it's monitoring the frequency of the earth, which is usually around like 7.7, 7.8, whatever. Hertz hurts,

Erin 7:19

hurts. It's measurable. It's a real thing, real

Josh 7:21

thing. Science, baby. it can be affected by like solar flares or just the evolution of the earth whatever.

Erin 7:27

Human consciousness as well. I do believe,

Josh 7:30

yes, I do believe that too. The collective human consciousness. Yes. I agree. They even talk about how with like attacks, And war and stuff like that. The Schumer resonance is all wonky donkey. Really cool. They were even doing a study. Not cool though, study. They were even doing a study with something called an EEG G Egg, which is similar to a Eek G or an E eeg. Or an E eeg. But what it was is they were finally establishing a resonance of the earth. Okay. And they were tracking it, and it it's vertical lines, different colors, and it's all just raked on the level of frequency of the earth. during nine 11 it went wonky crazy right before. Wow. Yep. And then an increased spike in Google searches and, negative and dark stuff. The frequency freaked out. And so they were like, what is this? That was all before. And after. Okay. It started to get really weird before, but then it got really weird after because the consciousness was just in freak out mode. Yeah. Anyways, something happened with the New Moon, which was late Saturday where there was a blackout, which can sometimes happen. I am talking like, I know about this. I'm not a pro in this. I just literally was reading about this. Not a

Erin 8:39

blackout, like physical

Josh 8:40

blackout in the world. No. Like a frequency blackout. Like it's not registering, which that happens sometimes. Okay. Whether like different satellites, solar flares major events, like electrical blackouts. Sure. In the World. Things like that can cause blackouts on the frequency. And there's probes, I guess they would call it that, go into the earth essentially monitoring the frequency all around the world and there's huge ones and small ones, and they're constantly communicating with each other. Okay. To monitor the frequency, so they're trying to prove that like accuracy. Is prevalent throughout the readings. Okay. It's like

Erin 9:12

repeatable. Yep. Around the world. Okay. And

Josh 9:15

the blackout happened, which was totally normal, and it was like for an hour, and then all of a sudden the scales went into like geometric shapes.

Erin 9:24

So what normally just looks like random, chaotic vertical, up and

Josh 9:27

down. Yeah. lines. Combined. It looks like if you were looking at an earthquake frequency, it's like a Richter scale where it's kind of, but it's not like a single line that's going up and down like a heartbeat. It's literally just vertical lines squished together to make a gradient. Okay. Going from blue to white, it

Erin 9:46

looks like what static sounds like is the best way to describe it, in my opinion. For sure. That's a

Josh 9:50

great way to put it. Cuz

Erin 9:51

it is just hurts. Yeah. But then all of a sudden it turns into this

Josh 9:55

Geometric and everyone's freaking out. Oh my gosh, this is a D n a download. Which could be, who knows? But it just literally looks like geometric now. Yeah. It's crazy. And it never has looked like that, ever

Erin 10:06

Like almost a little bit. I think the word is double helix is like the shape of dna. Yeah. It

Josh 10:11

looks kinda that's why people are saying it. Yeah. Oh my gosh, our DNA shifting weird.

Erin 10:14

So you were ascending. It wasn't bad for cheese

Josh 10:17

either way. I felt terrible right when that started and then all day yesterday I was just feeling gross. Like I upset stomach, headache, slight nausea, intense brain fog, which I never get anymore. Yeah. So I was fucking ascending.

Erin 10:31

Yeah. Well You were also getting kind of like lucid dreams, weren't you?

Josh 10:35

Great. I forgot to talk about that. I wasn't feeling good on Saturday. And we were about to go do something I can't even remember from Farmer's Market, I think, anyway. And I was like, I'm gonna meditate before we go cuz I just don't feel good and I wanna just be in a decent head space. I started the meditation and I noticed myself starting to doze and that never happens. Yeah. Josh isn't a napper. Not since lime. Yeah. That's for sure. I started to go in and out of like lucid consciousness and I was very aware of it. And so I'm still consciously meditating, but I noticed once that I doze off and I was like, whoa, that's weird. Like I'm not usually a napper. And then I got caught in that lucid consciousness and I started to see things on my eyelids.

Erin 11:15

There's just no way to describe what happens sometimes inside of you. No,

Josh 11:19

it's so hard. I just said that alone. I was like, what the

Erin 11:21

heck? I saw things on my eyelids.

Josh 11:24

Yeah.

Erin 11:24

On my eyelids, I saw things on my eyelids and they were just

Josh 11:27

objects. Okay. at first it was like I was seeing a blurry image and I couldn't really recognize what it was, but I noticed that my eyelids looked different than just black. Okay. And I was like, whoa, what was that? And I saw a silhouette. And I was like, whoa, that was weird. And I'm totally now conscious, but know that I'm in the lucid phase and then all of a sudden clear as day pictures were popping up to my consciousness because if I was just normal those wouldn't. Have looked anything different than like lights flashing on my eyelids. Okay.

Erin 12:01

Almost like a little ink blot. Like what the psychiatrist used. Like it could have been anything but your consciousness told you what it was.

Josh 12:07

Yeah. Okay. But then as soon as my consciousness told me what it was, it was clear as day right in front of me. Uhhuh. Yeah. I was like, oh yeah. That's exactly what it is. What'd you see A puppy? I know, right? Are we getting a puppy waves? Like an ocean? A baby? No, I'm just kidding. Waves like from the ocean. Great. Love that. A mailbox.

Erin 12:25

Okay. What did the mailbox look like?

Josh 12:27

it had white letters, black with a red, little flaggy popper. What were the numbers, bitch? I don't know. I've been literally racking my brain being like, what are the numbers? If we ever see that mailbox in real life, it was just like a normal, modern mailbox. I'm gonna see, you're gonna see that and be like, that's it. I'm just gonna make it up, so you believe me. Okay, we're gonna be house in California, and I'm like, that one. That one right there. The mailbox of my

Erin 12:50

dreams. All right.

Josh 12:51

Yeah. So weird though. I've never experienced something like that. And then Sunday morning, I go and do a little bit longer meditation and I was like, oh, I'm gonna listen to 8 88 hertz sounds, okay, which is manifestation and abundance, and see if I can get back to that point within five minutes. I was back at that point and very much not falling asleep. It was crazy. What'd you see? I was able to see shapes and silhouettes. And I could almost make out, like I saw a face, but I couldn't figure out who the face was. it felt like I was in like a breathwork session. Yeah. But it felt like my consciousness was there and very aware that I couldn't make out any objects. All right.

Erin 13:31

Well I bet you once you start using the Father's Day gift that I got you. Okay. Let's talk about the Father's Day gift. You about to be seeing all sorts of things.

Josh 13:38

Another win on Father's Day is Erin. Yes. Got me Microdosing. Psilocybin.

Erin 13:44

I got my boy some shrooms for Father's Day. Sure.

Josh 13:48

And I am amped. I know. Start. I can't decide if I'm gonna start before or after. I also am officiating Laura's wedding. Yes. So I was thinking maybe I start after that. That's fair. That's fair. Don't show up to the wedding. I'm gonna be in the woods being like, oh, glory leaves. You are so vibrant. Your dress so white.

Erin 14:09

That's the widest wine I've ever seen. Oh, holy bee. Okay. You'll for sure get kicked outta the money. Talk. Yeah, talk to us a little bit about like how much can we say about microdosing as much as we fucking want. It feels like a very bizarre, so I got it from this really cool company that ships them. I don't know how they do it cuz it's technically illegal

Josh 14:27

dme if you want it.

Erin 14:28

I don't know. It seems like a really legit company though.

Josh 14:31

I did so much research, but I didn't do research on like, the types of psilocybin. Okay. But this one's called the Golden Teacher, And that is what everyone suggests going with. Okay. It's really difficult to get of how we got it. Mm-hmm. So I'm really excited about that. Yeah.

Erin 14:45

And it's like very unregulated currently. Yeah. But this company is very, I don't know, highly regarded for their very much. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know cuz you can buy it on the streets and stuff, but who knows what's in there. Yeah. Yeah. This is like third party tested, I guess.

Josh 15:01

it's out of Canada. Which psilocybin in Canada is a little bit more mainstream than it is in the United States. Is it legal? I don't, I have, no, I'm not Canadian. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, they go through a rigorous process to make sure that it, like Doesn't have mold. Mm-hmm. Well, I guess fungi, but it actually just is mold. It is mold, but a good kind, not the bad kind. Okay. And how they dehydrate it is really important to them. And where they're sourcing it from is really important, okay. Yeah. And they're doing a bunch of education on it too, which is really fun. So I'm gonna start that a hundred milligrams is what I'm gonna start with, based on multiple people's recommendation. Kind of stick there for a little while. The microdosing schedule is four on three off. That's mainstream, but so many people have suggested me doing one day on, two days off. Oh, okay. So I think I'm gonna start that first. Okay. And see how I feel. And then if I want more, I'll bump up. Yeah, I'm really

Erin 15:51

excited. Me too. And the difference, just in case people are curious, like microdosing obviously, as the name suggests, is like teeny tiny, trickle dose of psilocybin. Psilocybin, which is also known as like magic mushrooms. It's a psychedelic. You can take big doses of it and have psychedelic experiences like visual, auditory hallucinations, all that jazz. Yeah. Which can be super life changing. And they're learning as they start to research this more and more. It's really powerful and helpful for diagnoses like P T S D and like for veterans coming back and trying to reintegrate in society. Mushrooms have been hugely helpful,

Josh 16:27

but one of the main psilocybin dudes spoke at Wisdom 2.00 yeah. And yeah, they're working heavily with the FDA and they think by June it'll be FDA approved for ptsd. Wow. Yeah. So cool. Which means once it's approved, they'll also have codes for insurance. Yeah. So that's

Erin 16:42

huge. But microdosing is more so this trickle effect, and so you're not having these big you're not high. It's more so people say at least it's more you notice actually what you aren't feeling or noticing. It's like you just feel way clearer, I guess is what I've been told. But yeah, for some people can spark like creativity or productivity or just, I don't know. Yeah. Just general better life. Yep. So yeah. We're curious to try it. We're, yeah. I'm super curious. Yeah. I think eventually at some point we're gonna have my dad on and I wanna talk to him

Josh 17:14

about He's actually really into it. He's doing bigger doses. He's not doing microdosing right now. Yeah. Yeah. My experience is gonna be different than his. Yeah. I am interested in doing bigger doses. But it's not needed for me right now.

Erin 17:26

Yeah. It's, I feel like it's one of the, there are so many options out there. I just call them like pattern interrupters, I guess is a blanket term for all these things, whether it's breath work or a psychedelic, or even just meditation. Yeah. Like it's all these things that are interrupting a pattern in your life that it's no longer serving you. And it's helping you to either pick a new path or refine your path a little bit.

Josh 17:47

Yeah, so I, and I think psilocybin or anything like that is really impactful for some people. And I would imagine it's pretty impactful for everyone. But My, yeah. Intuition is literally just I don't need it right now. So

Erin 17:59

trust it. Yeah. Honestly you tap into a lot of the things that people will That's exactly it. Get through mushrooms, just through like breath work and meditation. So I was

Josh 18:07

DMing with somebody yesterday who brought that up. Mm-hmm. Being like just following you. I see you have pretty crazy experiences. Yeah. Just at baseline and you're more of a spiritual person than not now. she was even saying like even with small micro doses, you may experience some things that others won't, just cuz you're a little more tapped into that side of yourself. Your portal is

Erin 18:27

open.

Josh 18:27

My third eye. Yeah. In the breathwork session in November. Yeah. I can like full out believe that. Yeah. So I think that for people that are navigating through that, for me, I had a really great experience inside of breath work. For some, I know have had similar experiences inside of psilocybin. Higher doses. Yeah. Yeah.

Erin 18:44

How do you feel about the other I mean there's ketamine, there's ecstasy. M D M A is like big right now. I'm just curious to hear your thoughts on all of that, cuz I definitely have thoughts.

Josh 18:54

Yeah. I think regulation is key and I think even at higher doses I wouldn't do it by myself. I would want a guy, an instructor. Oh yeah. People are doing it by themselves though. that's kind of where it is a portal mm-hmm. into opening up a completely new landscape of life. And doing it with somebody that's not only incredibly knowledgeable in that space, but also in the mindfulness space, I think is really important. Yeah. So there are therapists that are trained in psychedelics or M D M A or Ketamine to help you go through those experiences and help monitor. Your mental state mm-hmm. as you work through things that come up, I think that's really important. Just like how ayahuasca is with guides, these other types of psychedelics mm-hmm. or drugs, I think can be just as impactful. As long as you're doing it in the right context. Yeah. But I, again, just like with everything else, think that the most power that you have is within yourself. I was just about to say that. And so like while that is a modality to open up the new landscape, I don't think it should be something that you lean on to exclusively experience that

Erin 19:58

state. Yeah. I think I used to just really not be open-minded at all, just in general, but especially towards these like substances that Yeah. In some form or fashion kind of intoxicated us. And I'm obviously more open to those things now, under the right circumstances. And I just feel like so much of it Comes down to your intention with the thing, If you're looking to, whatever it is, ayahuasca, mushrooms, combo, any of it. If you're looking for that to like solve your problems or do the work for you, it's, I don't think it's gonna be What you're hoping for. That being said, we all have source, we all have power within us Yeah. To do those things with or without these modalities. And if you feel drawn toward one and feel like that is gonna help you tap into that, tap into you essentially. Then There is obviously do it

Josh 20:46

responsibly, but one, there's so many modalities that exist out there to help you tap into yourself. But I do think that this day and age, it is incredibly difficult to do it without a modality to start because of how much chaos is going on around us. Yeah. There's so much congestion in the mind and trauma and things that we haven't processed, and there's just so many things blocking Just like that inner knowing to its authentic self. That I think stripping things away and easing that, or completing narratives or whatever that may be, potentially is necessary in the majority. But it's not something that you should be leaning on all the

Erin 21:24

time. Or like, maybe not step one, you know, like try, uh, we've talked about this in the, in the episode episode

Josh 21:29

with, With Kimberly. I would imagine that not many are step one going

Erin 21:33

to ketamine. No. But you know, it's growing. Popularity, especially in the mental health space. it can be very effective for like depression and these disorders that people really battle with. So I of course especially if it's research backed and were like, wow, this is really changing the path for people, cool. But don't skip over the meditation, the breathwork, those things that can I don't know, it's just a gentler path perhaps, I don't know. Or it can even just like prime you for that next pattern interrupting experience that you have. Yeah. Anyway, I was just curious to hear your thoughts. I don't think anybody needs ayahuasca. I don't think anybody needs all these other things to help them heal. But if you're drawn to them, I

Josh 22:18

guess just stay open. I think there's so many different ways to heal and your path to that can look any way you want. Yep. And if you choose to use modalities for it, let's fucking go. Yeah,

Erin 22:28

I can dig it. All right. Schumann residence.

Josh 22:31

What about the Schumann residence? Did I finish? I think you did. Oh, okay.

Erin 22:35

Was there anything else? I had no idea. Actually that was all just the response to me asking how you are. So you failed to ask how I am classic. I'm just kidding.

Josh 22:45

We spent an entire episode talking about how you, my problems.

Erin 22:50

It's true. It's true. It's

Josh 22:51

true. How are you doing, Erin?

Erin 22:53

Great, period. No, I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm on my period. So there's that. How many things did I cry about over the weekend? Let's talk

Josh 23:00

what? It would be easier to talk about the things you didn't try over.

Erin 23:04

I'm just, I'm trying this new thing and it's called feeling your Feelings.

Josh 23:08

Imagine that. And, you know, groundbreaking. It's this new age modality of healing.

Erin 23:13

Wow, guys. it's different though because I thought I always, I thought I felt my feelings, but I'm doing it now and I'm trying to I guess with more precision or more focus. Using that kind of seat of consciousness. Yeah. And instead of just letting a feeling, I'm not identifying with thoughts or feelings, but I'm trying to witness them and as soon as you like, give it your full attention accept it. That's like the other really important part. it is what it is, this feeling. Yeah. Here it is, here it comes. Wow, that's a big one. And then there it goes. But in particular, trying for me now, because my normal like Mo is to, I have these huge whatever things happening within me. I may or may not even be aware of them. They may just be taking over the driver's seat, and I'm just along for the ride. But never have I ever just openly shared them with you. Really? Yeah, because I, it always felt I don't know, it felt like I had to polish it up or have my argument really secure and sound, or let me just overexplain all of these feelings that I have to make sure it's not offensive or whatever. I don't know. So I never brought it up and instead I just pretended it wasn't there. Yeah. Or would shove it a little bit deeper. But then of course like I would have these explosive then moments where all this built up resentment was flowing and it would be crazy. Yeah. We would fight hard once a quarter out of nowhere about all the baggage that I had. Just like carrot.

Josh 24:37

I'd be like, Hey, did you did you pick up carrots at the grocery store? Whoa.

Erin 24:42

Mount SIUs. Anyway, so I'm trying a new thing here and it's actually. It's not as hard as I thought. I just tell you. Yeah. Like I'm just like, yo, I'm feeling X, Y, and Z today,

Josh 24:58

which I've been asking for I know, four, nine years.

Erin 25:01

But it's like yucky stuff that I think I just didn't even wanna admit to myself. Like it would be like, Hey, I'm feeling super discontent with my life today. And Ooh, who wants to hear that as a spouse or as a partner? I already tell you all the time. I know, but that's, and then

Josh 25:14

because, oh, so every time I say it you say, Ew.

Erin 25:17

I would say like, what? I'm not good enough. Our life isn't good enough. Like it would always, gosh,

Josh 25:22

you're a little stinker, little

Erin 25:24

self-absorbed prick over here, but I just,

Josh 25:26

again, not everything's about you. Right. Before we started this podcast, I was whining so hardcore about the digestive enzymes. I didn't taking it because, Now when I don't take digestive enzymes, my little tummy starts gurgling. It's not fun. And I was like, these stupid enzymes, like am I now need to be on these. Yeah. And Erin was getting so defensive around the enzymes and I was like, Erin, IM mad at the enzymes. Not you.

Erin 25:53

Well, As your wife and also your personal practitioner, I was

Josh 25:57

feeling, I feel like I'm my own practitioner. That's fair.

Erin 25:59

No offense. No. Yeah, you totally are. If anyone is curious about the digestive enzyme qualms, yes, that can happen. You can become dependent on digestive enzymes. They can also be really helpful in a period of time where you need to have

Josh 26:11

better abor. And maybe they were for week abor, but now I'm farting like nobody's business wreaking up the room.

Erin 26:17

Stinking up the place. Just transition to digestive bitter is my last. Yeah.

Josh 26:20

But I was annoyed that I then had to transition something else when I wasn't on any of this before I started the digestive enzymes. So I'm annoyed at that. Not you.

Erin 26:29

Anyways, even now, let me just take my focus and awareness, my full awareness and acceptance of this deep within me. It has nothing to do with you say, I know, but still a sense of defensiveness. Okay, but here's not

Josh 26:44

defending the emotionless enzymes.

Erin 26:46

I'm not, has no consciousness. I'm defending my knowledge that's feeling inadequate for your health problems. That's what's deep in here. I wasn't, but I wasn't looking for your knowledge. I know, girl,

Josh 26:57

get girl,

Erin 26:58

stop it. But what I'm saying is as soon as I can take that seat of consciousness, which is two steps behind all the thoughts, emotions, feelings, it's the one behind or before either. Okay. It's like

Josh 27:10

I would look at behind as like my ba behind you

Erin 27:12

were late. Oh, no, no, no, no steps. I see what you're saying. No, What I'm saying is it's behind, above, I don't know, within below.

Josh 27:21

Wow. So here we are.

Erin 27:23

Consciousness is the seat from which you sit and you observe all the things that are not actually you. Yeah. But are still within you and a hundred percent not, we're not judging them. We're not even labeling them. we're just literally saying, oh, I noticed you. There you are. Thanks. Yeah. When you bring your full attention then to that thing and accept it fully. We're not resisting. We're not naming, we're not judging. Yep. We're allowing and we're accepting and we're noticing, and then all of a sudden that thing loses all of its power. It's has no value. Yeah. So bye Alicia, it's been good, except I just cry a lot more.

Josh 27:58

You're on your period. So What are we really talking about today? Okay.

Erin 28:02

Real talk. We are talking about which this, my little saga does it's a good segue, but we're talking about relationship just in general relationship, but also relationship as a spiritual practice. Because first of all We are not qualified to be talking about anything per se. I'm nine

Josh 28:19

years in or I'm more qualified than I was before.

Erin 28:22

But yeah, I'm saying we have some lived experience. Our experience is our certification. So here we are. I don't

Josh 28:28

have to prove anybody that I

Erin 28:29

know what now I'm proving to myself it's fine. But we've been together for 10 years over that. There's our

Josh 28:34

personalities I know, just booming out of each other.

Erin 28:36

Mm-hmm. First of all, I just wanna say, I don't think that it's necessary to have a romantic relationship or a partner in order to live like the full, beautiful human experience. I don't think that you need a partner to be enlightened.

Josh 28:52

honestly, I only think you need love to be enlightened. Yeah. not from somebody else. I think if you can authentically love yourself, you're gonna be enlightened. Yeah. It's the inner knowing, inner love. Yes. Just like Young Pueblo says. You can't love somebody else without loving yourself first. Yeah. And I think that regardless of if you have a partner or not, that is

Erin 29:10

relevant. And would you agree that when we both, and I think you led the way as you do when we both started doing that in practice, I feel like our relationship changed a lot.

Josh 29:22

Yeah. It became more authentic and deeper.

Erin 29:24

Yeah. just being completely honest, that's for me, it's only been like within this last year or so, that I feel like I've actually been learning how to love myself. And I just feel like it's been a big old shift in our life, in our relationship. Obviously things are not rainbows and butterflies. We still fight. we are still driven by ego often, but it's it just feels different. It does, it feels cosmic. I don't know. That sounds really corny, but I did wanna ask you something. So hit me. Okay. In Eckhart's book. Yes. We all know Erin is reading Eckhart. Totally. I'm sorry. Everybody. The same book. It's just changing my life. Okay. But he talks about, I'm gonna read it really quick, but he says, the reason why romantic love relationship is such an intense and universally sought after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep seated state of fear, need, lack, and incompleteness. That's part of the human condition. So we look. To somebody else. We look to this love relationship when we fall madly, deeply in love with the person. Yeah. It heals us or it Yeah. Allows us to not have that whatever nagging thing is with deep within our soul. But then what happens is once we get far enough down the road with this person, that thing comes back up. Obviously it didn't go anywhere, right? We just added another person to our life. But then what happens is we actually start to blame the other person for that thing, whatever it was, the thing that we were avoiding fear, whatever. Okay. A, do you feel like that was how our relationship started and B, have you seen that pattern? Like where we start to blame each other for our own inner mle?

Josh 30:53

Like Captain Hooks schmiegel. What? What? That's Captain Hooks? No, honey Sidekick Schmiegel. It's not, what is his name?

Erin 31:03

I don't know. Captain Hooks. Because Schmiegel has nothing to do with Captain Schmiegel is my precious Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings.

Josh 31:10

Lord of the rains. Oh my gosh. I'm offended at myself. You should be Mr.

Erin 31:15

Oh yeah. Okay. Do you feel like that's why we fell in love? No. Okay. Do you? No. I feel like when I look back on our beginnings, of course we had that sweep me off my feet. we were obsessed with each other. We spent all of our time together.

Josh 31:27

Yeah. But we weren't looking for a relationship. True. Neither of us.

Erin 31:31

I always felt like even when my language was only Christianese, like that's all I could speak and really name it. Yeah. It always felt to me like our souls were like called to each other in some way. Yeah, I totally agree with that. And so

Josh 31:47

even when we fought it,

Erin 31:48

yeah. The universe was like, sorry guys. Gotta do it. Yeah. Suck it up. Like I am the most indecisive human being on planet Earth. I have. That's a fact. So much.

Josh 31:57

I literally haven't met somebody that's more indecisive.

Erin 31:59

I'm so indecisive. Heaven forbid you ask me what I want for dinner. Yikes. I don't know. I never feel certain or strongly, I don't even feel strongly about too many things. people will genuinely be like what do you want? And I'm like, I don't know. But I have never once. Questioned you?

Josh 32:17

Same. I've never questioned me either.

Erin 32:22

The most.

Josh 32:22

Josh, answer.

Erin 32:24

Yeah, I'm indecisive. Honestly. You're non-committal.

Josh 32:28

Yeah. So like what? There's only been two confident things in my life. You and Ruti. Yeah, that's it Zoe. We too. I didn't even know about parent. Yeah. Before. when I was up. Saying whatever my vows, I had zero hesitation. Yeah. And that's not the case most of the time for me. Because of commitment, not because of indecisiveness. And mine is, I don't wanna be strapped down with the picket fence and a dog and a kid. Here we

Erin 32:51

are, except we have a chain link fence, so that's better. We have

Josh 32:54

a wood fence too. Yeah. Okay. It's just not picket. Yeah. Yeah. And a brick wall, we have everything but a picket fence actually.

Erin 33:00

Damn it. Yeah, I was just curious to hear your thoughts there because it, of course in a lot of ways, were we distracting one another or fulfilling one another in ways that we were missing out on ourselves? Yeah.

Josh 33:12

I don't, I don't think we were aware enough to even recognize that. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. when we first met, we weren't looking for relationships.

Erin 33:18

It was karmic. It was cosmic. It was not just like a dead dunno. It felt like it was from another world or something. In a lot of

Josh 33:25

ways it's like our souls had met before. Maybe

Erin 33:28

they did. There were definitely seasons though, where I feel like that pattern that Eckhart talks about happened, for us. Like where things would come up, the things that we thought each other had healed for each other. And then, at least I can own that and say there were definitely patterns my discomfort, I would then blame you for, sure, yeah. Like when you would express feeling X, y, or Z. Mm-hmm. And I immediately turned it into like, I'm not good enough. Yep. Or, you know, it all revolves around me being inadequate. Yeah. Like that is a long standing pattern in our

Josh 34:00

relationship. Yeah. It's just when the ego rages.

Erin 34:03

Using our relationship then. And really you can do this with anything in your life bottom line is anything can be a spiritual practice, anything can be a mindfulness practice. as soon as that, whether it's resentment or that little whatever it is, it can be small, but like as soon as you notice it to focus your full attention on it, Just notice it, allow it, name it, bring it up right away. That is such a healing practice because it just brings all the things to the light and like it can't grow and fester. I don't know.

Josh 34:36

Yeah, agreed. And eventually it's gonna be defeated, I think that's where everything starts though, right? With awareness. Yeah. So ultimately when you start to become aware of something, it will, if the intentions are right, become a spiritual practice. Mm-hmm. Because you are constantly. Being aware of it, not necessarily fighting it, but causing enough friction from the positive and negative frequencies that exist inside of that to then the positives overpowering it to then it disintegrating and not coming up as much or being as prevalent in your life. Mm-hmm. That's how pretty much everything will be with that intention, right?

Erin 35:09

Yeah. The thing is, and Eckhart talks a lot about this, sorry, everybody who's bored of me talking about Eckhart, but who's your pastor? Exactly. If love has an opposite, like you were talking about positive and negatively charged things he would argue, and I would argue that it's not true love. So like this positive, negative thing, I don't know. It all comes back to, so everything just is, and then we ascribe meaning to it, right? Like even calling it positive and negative patterns. Like from a

Josh 35:37

frequency perspective, we know frequencies at harm and we know frequencies that are either balancing you or just positive period. Yeah. Without good there wouldn't be bad and vice versa. with our bodies, with our consciousness, with our souls, with source. With whatever we have inside of us, which I do believe is all of that, we are constantly interacting with the energetic frequencies that are all around us. Yeah. We know that that's measurable, but it's way greater. That's like the quantum entanglement and the communication and things like that. In order for that to even exist, there has to be the binary of good and bad. Does that make sense?

Erin 36:17

Yeah. That's tricky. Good and evil man, that's a well,

Josh 36:20

it's not good and evil. It's just good and bad because something may be good for one that may not be for the other. But we know that there is well-rounded good frequencies and then well-rounded bad frequencies that are harmful and negative. Yeah. Just like the scarcity mindset versus the abundance and

Erin 36:38

like, And how is this relating to relationship then?

Josh 36:40

where I was going with that was creating spiritual practices is essentially the intent of bringing in good frequency and overpowering the bad. And so awareness is where you start with regardless of it being your relationship. Sure. Or it being something completely outside of your relationship. When you start to be aware of those negative things that come in and infiltrate your thoughts and consciousness, once you're aware of it enough, you can start to nip it in the ass before it even becomes a full existing frequency.

Erin 37:08

Yeah. And there's definitely patterns and obviously we're only speaking from the experience of a hetero couple. I just think that there are patterns. I can't remember if I've talked about the pain body on here before, but you've got your own personal pain body. it's really just a form of your ego and it's always looking for validation that it exists. And it's looking for more pain to feed itself. It's like this greedy little, the ego. Yeah. But then we also have these like collective pain bodies. And every group that you fall into, you could, share a pain body with. And so obviously for women who have experienced marginalization, sure. Have experienced like real harm done to us over. Centuries we have a collective pain body. And if and when you accidentally identify with that, like that's not our identity. It's true that those things happened and that is not okay. Obviously happened and are happening, but when you identify with the pain body, then you're no longer in the driver's seat. That's it's very similar to what I was talking about before, but What can happen, at least in like hetero relationships, is that we have these patterns, these pain bodies. And like these dynamics that we fall into. And oftentimes, it's funny though cuz for us it's a little bit flipped. Yeah. I notice that a lot of the patterns that tend to be masculine are it's like masculine energy tends to be more in the mind. it's judging, it's fixing, it's commanding. It's demanding. It's all in the mind. Yep. and that's where men, most men tend to get stuck and that's where their ego Yeah. Drives them. Whereas women tend to be more pain body driven. And that's like the emotions, the victimization, But for us, the pattern tense, I mean of course we all have it all So I tend to be stuck in my head more, which is a little bit more masculine energy, but I've been reading which is, I don't know why this feels like such a vulnerable thing to talk about on a podcast, even though it's just you right here, here I am. during your period, during menses, when that pain body and it, that's kinda like the collective pain body, it's like this. Time of life where we are more vulnerable to being taken over by the pain body, which tells us we are whatever a victim. we almost look for opportunities to invite more suffering in. Anyway, during that time of the month is a really great time to practice catching things like you were talking about before they ignite into a full fledged flame. Sure. Or before they completely take over the driver's seat. And so I've really been practicing the, Like I, okay. I noticed that feeling. I'm gonna focus my full attention on it and allow it completely accept it completely and then poof. It's like, oh, it lost all of its power.

Josh 39:47

Do you find. Any of this difficult to receive coming from a man? What do you mean?

Erin 39:52

Like you're talking Oh, Eckhart. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's a problem for me. It's hard. Yeah. Like not just a man, but a lady. How does he know? I know. I think because he's like, you're

Josh 40:01

receiving this. Yeah. But multiple times in my mind I'm like, how does he think that he's remotely qualified to talk about this? Because he is not. I think like he's never had a period,

Erin 40:10

the concepts that I know of. Very helpful. Yeah. So much of it is just the same thing over and over again through a different lens is really what I'm learning. It's all about awareness. It's all about focused attention. Exactly what I was saying. It's all about acceptance. Mm-hmm. fully accepting everything that is. Yeah. it's the good and bad thing is so hard for me cuz it's like there are things that are objectively bad. I don't know what to do with that. But things are neither good nor bad. it just is. That's what you believe. In relation to like my life circumstances? Yes. I believe things that happen to me, for me, whatever, they can happen to me or they can happen for me, and that's my perspective.

Josh 40:45

Do you not think they're always happening for you?

Erin 40:47

That's, I think you can choose that is what I'm saying. So that is up to me, that doesn't feel objectively, like from whatever perspective, like that's a choice in my opinion but it's hard when it's not my life circumstances. Like how are you gonna tell somebody that had some horrible tragedy How are you gonna tell somebody that is neither good nor bad? That just

Josh 41:07

feels, yeah. I don't know if I would, yeah, I'd say that was bad. Thanks. Watch. Yeah. I'm serious. Yeah. while you have the power to create good out of that. Yeah. That doesn't mean that it wasn't bad. And I think that's the binary. That exists in this world. Yeah. On this planet at least. Yeah. Like rain. Can be good or bad.

Erin 41:28

Totally. Rain makes corn. Corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky.

Josh 41:32

There's errands living from the day. Yeah. But like it can cause crazy floods. Yeah. Or it can help grow crops. And does it mean the rain is bad? Yes.

Erin 41:43

I get that.

Josh 41:43

If we talk about trauma specifically mm-hmm. the trauma itself is usually pretty messed up. Or else it wouldn't be trauma. And I was just talking to somebody about this this past week Your experience with the situation could be a trauma and somebody could be standing right next to you experiencing same thing and not considered a trauma. So the frequency that it's, that you're absorbing mm-hmm. Inside of that isn't balancing for you. Yeah. And it's negative and causing you harm that can be identified as a negative state You have the choice of what to do with that though. Once you receive it, then it's yours.

Erin 42:15

so now as

Josh 42:16

a, and I'm not disregarding, like things that are so remotely fucked up, like crazy traumas of war and things like that. I'm not disregarding that. I'm just saying for me I believe that there's. Good and bad. Yeah.

Erin 42:28

But now, so as a couple as partners Now that you and I are both on this path, we are able to hold space for one another in a way that makes this a little more doable. like just having the knowledge that, hey, I'm working on noticing my feelings and accepting them fully and. I will fail. Yeah. But knowing that I have a partner who when I fail, you, you're not gonna mistake my ego taking over as my identity. you know that that's not me and vice versa. But instead of then you bringing out your ego and then we have this little battle of the egos. what can happen now is that you can hold space in your con your seat of consciousness. Knowing like, hey, I'm gonna sit here and just acknowledge and fully accept you while also, in loving kindness offer that like, hey, feels like maybe we are identifying with thoughts or identifying with feelings or whatever. now, obviously we don't do this perfectly and obviously this happens every day still. Yeah.

Josh 43:35

We're, we don't do this perfectly, but we're

Erin 43:37

just aware of it, which is the first step. Yeah. oftentimes we're both in ego, but every now and then one of us is able to be like in the seat and we can allow for some more space. Which can then allow for transformation, and I feel like that is where our relationship has turned from. Just a partnership or just like this agreement that, hey, forevermore, we're gonna live in the same house. Yeah. It's now more of a spiritual practice where we're like really intentional about doing that. Agreed.

Josh 44:04

I think that's what shifts it into a spiritual practice is that intentionality. before we were even remotely aware of this, the conversations that we would have we're leaning in that direction. It just didn't have any identification or knowing what that negative space was when our egos were raging against each other. Now that we have that as a practice, That acknowledgement and awareness, it definitely does feel like that is in the space when we're having conflict or even just communicating. So that it can be brought up or just in a minuscule way, acknowledged

Erin 44:39

even just me being able to verbalize, I'm feeling very defensive right now. that shifts an entire conversation

Josh 44:46

opposed to, I mean, even saying like, you feel really defensive right now. Yeah,

Erin 44:49

That tell me what that is. Yes. Because I just think we have an understanding now not always, not perfectly, but most of the time I know that you know who you are and who I am. Sure. And that we're also linked. Yeah. But that you're not gonna mistake my true identity for these moments in time where I'm. Living out ego, a hundred percent living out of thought, whatever, and vice versa. It allows for intense vulnerability. Yeah, I agree. I feel, which is something that neither of us were very good at for most of our marriage, I would say. Yeah.

Josh 45:23

We were fake vulnerable. Yeah. We were great at that. Many are right?

Erin 45:27

Yeah.

Josh 45:28

I think with this idea of growth inside of relationships being spiritual practices, There's a subset of common intentionality that has to exist inside the relationship, or it's really difficult for it to become a spiritual practice collectively.

Erin 45:46

Oh yeah. It has to be agreed upon by

Josh 45:47

both parties. And so I think that's the first step in all of this, is identifying what those are. I remember when I was shifting and you weren't yet. not in a bad way. I was just going one way and you were going not that way. And I remember trying to figure out how to communicate appropriately inside of our conversations how I was feeling without it escalating to a point where it felt like it was unproductive. So one way that I would do that was, so this is how what you just said made me feel. And I started to share like what was going on inside of me. You started to receive that not at first. It started to evolve and like, oh, I could totally see how that would happen. And then I started asking you, how does it make you feel? Or how can I say this better? Or whatever. We started to have conversations around that where I think unintentionally we began to build out foundational components to our relationship that turned into spiritual practices. Does that make sense? Before Eckhart?

Erin 46:47

Yeah. At the end of the day, it just require, like you cannot have a healthy. Relationship with another person. If you don't have a healthy relationship

Josh 46:56

within with yourself 10000%, yes, y'all, if you don't hear anything from this damn podcast, hear one thing, it's not gonna matter what you do working with other people. It's 100% internal work and once you can have peace inside, you're gonna have peace with others. Yeah. Once you find full love for yourself, you're gonna be able to fully love others. Once you feel that intentionality and inner knowing and inner work, you're also gonna feel that resonate with others. It's not gonna happen unless you do the work internally for yourself. And that goes for literally everyone. Yeah. I know. I don't know. Somebody that can authentically love somebody else, not even romantically, without first loving themselves.

Erin 47:40

Yeah. We were getting by, right? We were like generally happy. I think we were really considerate of each other. Yeah. And we had we and

Josh 47:47

there was love. Yes. I don't love you. Like how it was

Erin 47:50

that. Are, you're breaking up with me.

Josh 47:51

In a good way though.

Erin 47:52

what happened for me was you were sick. We literally uprooted our entire lives yada, yada. I was not investing in myself at all. No inner work was being done. And so every single conversation that we had felt like a dagger. It felt like an arrow, everything you said that you were struggling with for some reason reflected upon me in my mind. And it was until I. started going to therapy, which then, was my segue into like breath work and all these other things taught me what it actually meant to love yourself. I had no idea. And to like fully accept yourself and how, shame is not necessary when it comes to growing. Like you can actually use You can replace shame with blameless discernment. I love that term so much because it's not like you're not using your critical thinking skills, it's just that you're not identifying with shame. Anyway, as soon as those things started to shift, then there was space in our conversations more we could actually talk about things without me. Yeah. Feeling like I was a failure. It's all your fault. Yeah. Who knows who will be in 10 years.

Josh 49:00

I hope I love myself more in 10 years. Same. That's the goal.

Erin 49:03

All right. I love your soul. Love your soul

Josh 49:05

too.

Erin 49:06

My little twin flame over there. Actually not, we're not twin flames. We're like opposites.

Josh 49:10

Yeah. We are not twin flames.

Erin 49:11

Complete opposites. That for some reason work.

Josh 49:14

so this is a good one though. Yeah. Spiritual practices in general are obviously something that's very impactful on our lives. Duh. But not until recently did I even recognize that our relationship was a spiritual practice.

Erin 49:27

Same. Or that it could be,

Josh 49:28

yeah. Yeah. I think I had enough knowing that relationships could become spiritual practices, but I don't necessarily know if I recognized that practices that we were doing in our communication and the foundations that we have literally just recently set. Have helped that become a practice. Yeah. We have our own individual practices, but. It's fun to have a few with you.

Erin 49:50

Yeah. We're not experts on marriage, but we're experts in ourselves. How about that for an ending?

Josh 49:55

I know me more than you know me. It's true. Boom, I'm learning me. You still know you more than I know you. Yeah,

Erin 50:02

Well, Y'all,

Josh 50:03

This was a podcast.

Erin 50:06

Hope that it was okay for you.

Josh 50:10

Thanks for listening. See you next week. Bye. Bye.