Josh

Hi everybody. What'd it do, baby Boo?

Erin

I knew it was coming. I'm still not prepared. What

Josh

lights you up today,

Erin

kid? Oh, well it's Friday. That always lights me up. honestly Kambo is still lighting me up. Yeah. I'm still lit.

Josh

Talk to me while you're lit by

Erin

Kambo. I think it's something that's just gonna take a lot of time to fully integrate, if ever. yeah, there's just so many things that I could be pondering and working on.

Josh

Do things pop up throughout the day that you're like, oh yeah.

Erin

I mean it feels a very similar to how breath work just pulls things into your consciousness that were subconscious before. Yeah. Two days ago when I was frantic energy again and feeling like I don't have direction, where do I start? I'm overwhelmed the day after Kambo. Yeah. I feel like I have this newfound not enlightenment, but just awareness. Yeah. And that I'm ready and then I sit down and I'm like, okay, I'm so ready. And I'm so ready. Like, where do I start? Yeah. So there's still that, but more so I just feel like it's drawn into my consciousness that like I am fully capable of whatever I want to build and create in this three D life. Yeah. And I'm not attached to like really what that even looks like per se. Sure. Or how it happens. there's a few words and phrases that I am trying to like, actively lose from my vocabulary for one reason or another, of which is this discipline, hard work, work ethic. I think those can be helpful. Yeah. For me it's always feels a little bit like a, I don't know, like it just doesn't come naturally to me for whatever reason. I think some people maybe are born that way and I'm not, that's not to give me an out there, but I'm trying because it feels so much more aligned with my soul and spirit to, instead of using those very hard, maybe masculine terms and trading those in for more like, Dedication, devotion, if that makes sense. Sure. Like Out of the dedication and devotion. The love for myself, for my loved ones for my life here, like all the opportunities I have, we talked about last week, how grateful I am to be a human. That still rings true. And so out of that will flow work. Like it will flow action. But to be guided by that as opposed to like, almost like this sort of punishing nature of like whip yourself into shape and Yeah. More reps and more work and more productivity like that just, I don't, it doesn't work for me. I don't know. It doesn't motivate me. Yep. So I think in some ways it motivates you.

Josh

Sure. motivates you now have, were you able to identify that a little bit?

Erin

Just that what I was talking about, like That deep, true love and respect and devotion and dedication to myself. Yeah. Is what I'm tapping into now to motivate myself. Yeah. Like I believe in myself so much and love myself so much. Yeah. I deserve to build beautiful, big, successful things. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So it has, I don't know. It's just a different flavor. You were the only one that wasn't believing that. I But yeah, that was a big shift for me. Yeah. And I, of course, it'll be probably something I am processing for the rest of life in one way or another, but Similar to how Breathwork does, it brought it to like a visceral state. Yeah. In my body where I was like, okay, now I know that for sure. right. And I'm not gonna unknow it. I may forget it some days and have to remind myself, but Yeah.

Josh

It's wild. after talking with you and Laura the past couple days, you guys are still obviously still processing. But it's starting to feel more and more like what my breathwork sessions feel like the next couple days after, where you go through these ups and downs of emotions and processing of what actually just happened. The other interesting piece is I really didn't have an expectation of what you guys were gonna be like post Kambo, but because I knew it was non-psychoactive, just like. What you would say breath work is, even though I'm pretty psychoactive, Josh goes places. Yeah. Psychedelic. I was curious to see if the response of like being more grounded in yourself was gonna be the response as opposed to like, if you go do ayahuasca and you sit with that, you kind of have these experiences, we're all of a sudden you feel connected to something completely outside of yourself. While I do think a little bit of that happened, and we talked about that on a previous episode, I think probably one of the most impactful and beneficial things that came out of Kambo for both of you guys was that you got back into your yourselves

Erin

Yeah. And to our bodies. Yeah. That I kept, I think I said that maybe five or six times throughout the different ceremonies. Like she would give me Hape and I'd be like, whew. Yeah. Here I am. Like there is literally no place else I can be. Mm-hmm. But right here in my body right now. Yeah. And same with the meditations that we did, and same with the nanga eye drops and yeah. Kambo. It's like it all just brought you. To right now. Yeah. Like there you just couldn't be anywhere else. Yeah. You were so physically present.

Josh

And I'm sure there were probably like internal physical benefits to this. Obviously you purged in your own way and so did Laura Kambo knew exactly how you needed to purge and whatever that was purging outta your body. So obviously like stoked to see your next scan of where your liver's at and kidneys and things like that. Yeah. There obviously were internal benefits to this, but when you are in the processing mode of Kambo, it's very interesting to see how that transforms and how similar it feels to so many people that have gone through breath work because there's like this empowerment. Sure. Like you could say, I guess the increase in oxygen is the modality that is in breath work. Just like Kambo is in the ritual that you did, but. Obviously people are purging in their own ways but you come out of that and you're like, I'm a fucking badass. Yeah. And you both came out of Kambo feeling the same way. Yeah. The last breathwork session that I did was most excruciating pain I've felt to date, And I came outta that being like, oh yeah. I got this. Yeah. But you guys had that walking in the door even after your first one, let alone your second and third

Erin

one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'm excited to talk about the second and third one today because I did have other big, like aha moments around suffering. Like what you're talking about. Yes, there is so much to be gleaned from these seasons of suffering and pain and like Kambo and breath work sometimes brings up suffering and pain. But it doesn't always have to be hurting, it doesn't have to hurt to work. And I think that's important to know because sometimes, at least in my life, I think that we subconsciously generate Yeah. Suffering and pain mm-hmm. to help ourselves learn, but like, we don't have to take that pattern. we can also learn by staying open. Mm-hmm. And by, welcoming abundance and all these other, less tragic ways of learning. Yeah. Going into Kambo. I definitely was very aware that I had been creating suffering mm-hmm. In my life, in my life, honestly, in our life, like as a family. Yeah. Which it would be very vulnerable, but I brought my um, pre Kambo morning pages. Yeah. I think I'll read it Okay. If that's okay with you. Sure. Okay. It's risky, but I'm, I Go for it. Fuck it. Okay. Ready? So, I wrote this the morning before Kambo. Obviously I talked a little bit in the last episode about what I was maybe hoping mm-hmm. from Kambo. But a huge pattern that just became abundantly clear to me like two days before was my inability to like, look reality in the eye, in our life, particularly in our, like finances. I just avoid it all. Mm-hmm. Make eye contact with it and it got us in a bad spot. Um, Put us in a pickle for a minute. Put us in a pickle. Yeah. Okay. I'll just read it. I cried all day yesterday, mostly because I finally made eye contact with our financial situation and was overcome with regret and remorse for my lack of awareness and therefore lack of contribution, which put everything on the one I love most. That's you, in case you're wondering. Love you too, boo. My avoidance, my lack of self-belief. My frozen state got us to a net worth of almost zero, and that just hit yesterday. A radical transformation is necessary in order to keep my family healthy and thriving. I keep saying I lack motivation, but what more motivation do I need beyond that? My goal and intention with Kambo is to release and purge this identity I've been clinging to. Who is too afraid to start, who can't do hard things, who can't look reality in the eye and deal with it like an adult? it's tempting to want to punish myself and use shame as motivation, I know that's shortsighted. I wanna love that part of me so deeply that she can feel safe enough to settle, to sit back and observe what this version of me is capable of. She's allowed to hold her fear, voice it even, but she no longer drives this car. I wanna hug her tightly, say, thank you for your service and for keeping me safe, but I have my own family to care for now, and you're no longer protecting me from harm. You're protecting me from having the big, beautiful, expansive, abundant life that I deserve and that I choose to start right now. Ooh. And then I went in and did Kambo

Josh

Damn Girl.

Erin

And like immediately violently vomited all that shit like within a minute. Yes. Mm-hmm. Um, and so I feel like that's why I was so open for this experience. Like I was, I knew exactly what I needed to purge Yeah. And what I had been clinging to for, the better part of the last year. Yeah. So that's

Josh

wild. I like Nobody knew about that except for you. Yeah. Did you go back and read that after your first day of Kambo or did you just be like, oh shit,

Erin

I forgot I did this? No, I opened it up this morning and read it. And was like, oh, wow. I mean, I know I was super emotional the week leading up to it, I think because I finally sat down, I crunched the numbers. No, these two,

Josh

Laura and Erin were wilding out the entire week. It was wild.

Erin

Yeah. Poor Josh. Yeah. So I just finally sat down and crunched the numbers and realized like where I had gotten us. Mm-hmm. And it was just like this huge unraveling of what the fuck have I been doing? Yeah. Like, what, where have I been? Mm-hmm. And how did I allow this and all like, there were so many blinders up because I was too afraid. Yeah. Too afraid to start. Too afraid to look at it directly. And so I just wept all day because the. The guilt of putting that whole burden on you. I just it was hard to bear the guilt. There's a difference between guilt and shame. And I obviously as I wrote there, like I wasn't willing to use shame to motivate me. I know that's not proactive, but guilt can be like a really useful emotion Yeah. When you have done something wrong. Sure. To change your path or change your course. And another word that I'm hoping to strike from my vocabulary is, I'm sorry, not because I think it's bad to apologize, but Many women, maybe just people in general we're so used to apologizing for like just being, for existing, for taking up space. Yeah. Whatever that looks like. that's for sure how I've used the word, I mean, someone could literally step on me at the grocery store and I'll be like, oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry that I was here. That's totally how you are. Yeah. Or somebody could cut me in line. I'd be like, oh, sorry. Yeah. Like I don't, it's just impulse. Yeah. I'm trying to be more conscious instead of saying, sorry, saying thank you for holding space for me, or Thank you for waiting for me. Say if I'm late for something or something. Yeah. So thank you for giving me time and space to come to these realizations and conclusions on my own time, which was not convenient for either of us. I know. I created pain. Yeah. And I am sorry. Of course. I'm not opposed to apologizing. And I think you. Probably saw it all over me for those few days. Mm-hmm. yeah, rather than being motivated by shame and guilt I want to be motivated by that. Like self Yeah. Love and devotion and respect for me, for you, for our family. so yeah. That is just a big old thing. That's incredible.

Josh

So how did it feel reading this today post, going through the three days of Kambo?

Erin

I read it and I remembered exactly how I felt when I wrote it. Mm-hmm. And I feel just like a completely different human being on this side of it, if that makes sense. I mean, yeah. just feel empowered. I don't feel like fear is driving me anymore. Yeah. I think it's still there. Like I said, like it's gonna be in the, maybe the passenger seat still chiming in like, oh, yikes, don't turn that way or whatever. Sure. But being able to just say like, okay, thank you for your contributions. You can be quiet now. Bye,

Josh

bitch. Yeah. As humans. I think we all have a passenger. Oh yeah. Or a backseat driver. And we are all dealing with our own different types and if we're honest, probably most of them come back to fear. Yeah. It just comes out in different ways. So you're not alone in that. I have mine too, and you know that. But sometimes you gotta shut up the backseat

Erin

driver. Yeah. Or just say like, break check'em. Yeah. Yeah. I love the internal family systems way of looking at it, because I think it just I think it's more effective in general than saying shut up or go away. Like, when's the last time you ignored a whiny, scared toddler and they actually, quieted down. Yeah. Instead of embracing that voice and saying, look, I hear you, you are very loud right now. I see you're trying to protect me. Yeah. And yet you are not the boss of me. Right. Like There is someone else sitting at the head of this table, this I don't, whatever figure you wanna call it, like higher self or mm-hmm. Whatever. And she's the one who makes the big decisions around here. Yep. I will take that into consideration, but that's all the power that you hold. Yeah.

Josh

And the more tools that you have, the better chance you are going to be able to put a stop

Erin

to that. And to be the head of the table. Right. Yeah. Those roles just get really ingrained, I think, and we don't even realize that we're letting some five-year-old inner self, direct traffic in our life. Yikes. Like that's terrifying. Mm-hmm. That is. Yeah. the difference is now. After Kambo. And this could've absolutely been achieved in other ways. I don't think Kambo is like some golden ticket. Oh, for sure. But I think that now I'm very aware of who is Yeah. Sitting at the head of the table now. Yeah. And it's me and it's my consciousness. It's higher self. So yeah. So

Josh

go back to, we talked a little bit about your first Kambo. The day one. When did this shift happen? Or the realization that this shift was happening?

Erin

Yeah. There were so many pivotal kind of moments. So I talked about how the first day she applied one point of Kambo and I immediately purged, which she said she'd never seen before. I think I was just very ready for this experience. I mean, that's, yeah. That showed it. Yeah. Yeah. And that meaning what you wrote? Yeah. I went back to day two, a little bit nervous because, I was violently purging on one point and then I eventually just took the two points that first day and I was hoping to take three or four the next day. Mm-hmm. But I'm like, well, geez. Like if that was what happened. Yeah.

Josh

you and Laura both looked hella nervous leaving Yeah. For the second

Erin

day, but when it came down to it and she applied the three points that I decided on, it was Not a walk in the park, but it was like very manageable and doable and I didn't purge. And I just remember like it got pretty intense. I was on all fours and breathing through a big wave. It's like reminiscent of labor a little bit the way that like contractions come and they get really intense and then they like ride out.

Josh

So do they go in and out like that? Or is it one big wave and then you come down?

Erin

Pretty much one big wave. Okay. And then you come down obviously. So it's one big contraction. Yeah. But it lasts longer. Yeah. So I was breathing through it almost like bracing myself, expecting it to get much worse because it was three points as opposed to the one or two I had taken before. Hmm. it never got more intense and I never had the urge to throw up. And so I'm breathing. Breathing and I look up at Anastasia and was like, who's the facilitator? Yeah. Is this too easy? I feel like maybe I should put another point on I think I even asked her, is it too late for another point? And at this point I was 15 or 16 minutes in and she was like, no, but let's just keep breathing through it and see what comes up. Yeah. we have tomorrow anyway, you know why rush for a half a second, I had the thought of, damn it, Erin, you played small again. Sure. You know better now that you're ready for more. And you played small, you only took three. You could've taken five today. Yeah. And as soon as that thought came in and I like verbalized it then I thought in the next breath I was like, you know what? But it's also safe to go at your own pace. Yep. Now that I know I'm ready for more, I will do more. I don't know why that was such a big light bulb moment for me. Because I think I often just like shame myself Yeah. When I do play small. Yeah. Or when I'm just different from people like you who go balls to the wall right away. Yeah. But for me, that's just not how I operate and not how I'm going to make sustainable change in my life. So for me it's like doing what feels comfortable and safe for me, but as soon as I know that I'm ready for more, I've gotta take the next step. Yeah. And that's usually where I get stuck. Yeah. And so it was like, immediately I felt okay, tomorrow I'm gonna have no doubt I'm coming back for five points and I'm gonna fucking crush it. instead of, playing small and just going to four, it's like I knew I was ready for five And so I did go back the next day and took five points And interestingly enough, so we pull like an Oracle sort of tarot type card with every sitting mm-hmm. with Kambo and the one that I chose for that second serving of Kambo was the Holy Mountain card. Mm-hmm. And I won't read the whole thing'cause it's kind of long, but the last paragraph that it says is when the Holy Mountain shows up, it's time to be active, do not let your doubts deter you and keep you bound. This is a time to leap over challenges and to remember that from the top of the mountain there are no obstacles, only beauty and an unobstructed view of the entire Earth. It goes on to say you already have all the gear that you need. You don't need to go get any additional training or boots or anything else to climb this mountain. And then the last sentence, it says, overcome any lethargy and laziness as these are the real obstacles. this session for me was like a huge call to action. Yeah. It was like, okay, now that you know you're ready. That felt easy. And so it's time for more. Yeah. Like you can handle more. So then we went back the last day and I took five points and it was like another walk in the park, like a baller. I know. Crazy. I thought for sure I was gonna, have some, another crazy purge, the fact that I purged on one in two points. Yeah. And then here I am with five and it almost felt I wouldn't go so far as to say euphoric the third one. Yeah. But it was pleasant. It was pleasurable. Mm. Like I. Had lots of nervous system like shaking and releasing. Yeah. And it just felt like the fear was leaving my body. Yeah. Is the best way to say it. Yeah. I was like physically shaking, just breathing through it, but it was not uncomfortable at all. Yeah, so it's just not at all what I was expecting, but it's exactly what I

Josh

needed. That's fantastic. It's definitely noticeable the past couple days. Even just how you present yourself is very different than the past eight months. Yeah. How do you, going forward now, embrace that fearlessness. And remind yourself that powerful woman exists inside of you.

Erin

Yeah. I mean, I think drawing from that experience has been very helpful. Like I can. Think back to what it felt like to breathe through. Yeah. The intensity of Kambo and pull from other experiences of my life. Like I've given birth to a baby naturally. Yeah. And I've run a marathon. Mm-hmm. I've done hard things. Yeah. And I know that I'm capable. So drawing from those experiences has been helpful. Also, I am really just curious about and interested in learning more about kind of the balance of masculine and feminine energies in my life right now. Yeah. Because I think we talked about this a little bit last week with Laura, but I have not tapped into masculine energy my entire life, probably. obviously I don't wanna confuse that with like the societal masculine, like masculine and feminine have both been very much distorted the meaning of those by society, by culture. But this idea of divine masculine which is if the feminine is related to like the moon, which is always like fluctuating, it's in these cycles. It's very like fluid. It's connected to water and tides and the ocean. It's flowy energy. Masculine is more like the sun. Yeah. Which is steady, it's predictable. It has structure, you know what to expect every morning. It's rising every evening, it's setting. And it's this Container or structure for your femininity. Wow. That's hard to say. For your femininity to flow within and flow through. I've just never thought about it like that. Yeah. And I definitely struggle with systems and structure and, oh, big time. Yeah. Consistency, like those are things that are really hard for me to grasp. So I'm leaning a little more into like my divine masculine energy. And just learning what that looks like. balanced with the divine feminine.

Josh

It's interesting that I've been so focused on the divine feminine uhhuh, especially coming off of Wisdom 2.0. I had that incredible meditation where I met the divine feminine, and I'm still of the belief that the world will heal because of the divine feminine. And the masses gaining awareness into what the divine feminine is. But it's interesting, I never really paid attention to the lack thereof with the divine masculinity inside of you. I look at you and see so much divine femininity is such a fun word to say. It's femininity, divine femininity.

Erin

Maybe just the divine feminine for the sake of our

Josh

No way. Tongue twister. Now I'm gonna say it. That's what I see in you. And it's something that I know we, we've talked about this before. Everyone else around you sees it except you sometimes. Now you're seeing it. Mm-hmm. But I believe that's where you're gonna be a healer. In that divine femininity tapping into the divine masculine is only going to ignite more of that divine

Erin

feminine. A hundred percent. And when you read, there's different kind of takes from different cultures, but a lot of cultures see the divine feminine as like universe itself. Yeah. Yeah. And the masculine is like the witness of that universe or God. Mm-hmm. However you wanna look at it. Yep. one without the other ends up being destructive. Yeah. But when you have them both in balance honoring one another is when they both expand. Yeah. Like they both are able to flourish then. And of course this has nothing to do with gender. I hope that is goes without saying we all have these energies, these like complimentary polarity. It's, I love how all of these concepts, like you can pull from nature and you can Oh, yeah. Pull from like quantum physics. Can, we're not talking about human gender here. No, no, no. It's so much deeper than that. But, no, just like the polarity of things and how, I don't know. I just, I love all of these themes are just, you could find them anywhere. Yeah.

Josh

One thing that you brought up, and maybe we said it on the last episode, but one thing that was so profound to me and made me think about it for a while, the past couple of days, the idea of the womb. Being the center point of creation.

Erin

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's crazy. It really is. Yeah. That space in a woman now, obviously a male body, now we're talking gender. Right. A male body does not. Have a womb but you still have the ability to tap into the energetic Oh yeah. Womb space. Yep. It's not, but I think I said this in our second sitting with Kambo as I was breathing through one of the waves and I was just so moved by the sacred space that I was in with two other women. And it was so clear to me that like, women are gonna save the world. Yeah. Like it's us. Yep. but yeah, that creation space that for so many of us is blocked by this, what Eckhart calls the pain body mm-hmm. or the mm-hmm. The collective pain body. Yeah. So we each have like our personal, collection of pain. Yeah. But then there's the collective. So any like marginalized group is gonna have this kind of collective pain body that we all carry together. And so, of course, women historically have been, Suppressed have been abused and pushed to the edges. all the things. And so we have this collective burden that we've been carrying many of us in that kind of proverbial womb space. Mm-hmm. And we pass it from generation to generation because it's not for whatever reason available for us to clear it in our lifetime. So yeah. I think some of us are called and led by spirit and other things to clear this stuff. And I think it's happening more and more. I feel like human consciousness is rising and women are becoming aware of this and doing work like you may hear of people. Doing like womb work. Yeah. Or womb healing ceremonies. And it's so beautiful and it's, I think like that stuff is where I just have so much hope for Yeah, me too. Our universe. Same when I hear about those things. But yeah, it's definitely, I personally need to lean into masculine energy, divine masculine energy with that, like structure, container systems things like that. But I think women often underestimate the power of the divine feminine when it comes to creation to agreed bringing new life creativity and all of that is like flowy and juicy and Yeah. And ugh, it's like the good stuff, but we need that masculine container and structure to bring it to. Yeah. Like to bring it mm-hmm. actually out into the world. So both are needed, but it's a concept's, wild concept's I've really enjoyed just pondering and looking into recently. So on that third day when I took the five points, and again, it almost felt like good. I verbalized that to Anastasia and said do I need more points? This isn't feeling hard. Yeah. And she so wisely said, it doesn't have to be hard to be working. Mm-hmm. Like, Look at your body you're rigorously shaking. Yeah. Like you're releasing stuff. Yeah. It doesn't have to be hard. We already talked a little bit about this, but how, for you, I think historically you have learned lessons the hard way. That's how you have done it. Is that something that you are like trying to change or interested in doing differently? Yeah.

Josh

It's interesting because we're both learning pretty much the same thing. Yeah. Just in two different ways. So the last breath work session that I had what was that last week? It was excruciating. Yeah. to the point where I didn't know if I was gonna be able to get through it. Kimberly was humming and I just attached onto that and I was breathing really heavily the pain normally presents itself in my calves. It starts out what feels to be like a really intense calf cramp. Which then turned into like, it felt like somebody was opening me up. it didn't stay in my calves, it moved up my body. it felt like my entire body was in a really bad cramp. I, it was worse than a cramp, like way worse. Yeah. Somebody was opening my entire body up. Wow. And I was moaning and screaming and my eyes were watering. And she's just humming bless all

Erin

these space holders. Like, how do they do that? How do you

Josh

not freak the fuck out like we are on a phone call. I would be like do I, okay, somebody stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Erin

No, they're so good at holding space. Yeah.

Josh

Sorry. And she just trusts it. Yeah. So I got through that At first it was just like, what did I just experience? And nothing really was coming up. It just felt like I purged really hard I didn't puke. I just got my insides ripped apart and it felt monumental, but I couldn't pinpoint what I just cleared. And so I was like, amped. I was like, what? I was crazy. I get amped after I go through crazy things like that, and Kimberly just knows me so well and she's like, okay, I hear you, but let's keep breathing. And so she like gets me back into the breath and maybe two minutes into me reregulating my breath per Kimberly's advice. It comes to me that I'm done learning the hard way. Yeah, it's over. It's done. That was it. I was like, I will go into another breathwork session. I won't have pain like that ever again. I'm totally confident in it. It was like as clear as day it was like, that's it. That's fast. I finally just released it all at once and I remember coming up to you being like, it's done. It's over Uhhuh. Like we would joke that I had learned the hard way. Yeah, Josh just likes to learn the hard way, yada, yada. And then I was like, fuck that. I'm done with this. I don't have to. Yeah, life comes easy. Like I can learn things easily now. Things are gonna come to me easily. I don't have to work my ass off. To get to the points that are of my truest desires. It's over. I was sitting in that and this kind of feels like your third day of Kambo. I'm breathing and we're at the end of it, so I know we're coming down. I can tell how Kimberly's talking that it's almost over. I realized that my gums feel weird, And I was thinking like, ow. What is that pain in my gums? And I realized that I was smiling ear to ear. And it was because my mouth was fully dry. from smiling, my lips were stuck on my gums. what had happened was I felt fully connected to source. I felt like it was running through me I was just this vessel laying on the bed breathing, but it was just like energy moving in and outta me this sounds so dumb, but like the movie Avatar where they plug in their tail or whatever to, that's what it felt like. I was just plugged in to the energy involuntarily smiling ear to ear. I just realized it's over. And it was bliss and it was enjoyable and euphoric and. It was just a reminder that yeah, sometimes we're gonna go through pain. And there's bliss after, but then other times we can just learn the easy way. Yeah. We don't have to go through that. And that pain, for me was a identifiable point of my life where all of the pain and suffering that was caused by me choosing to learn the hard way was released and it was done. So we're out here just living easy now. Things come to us

Erin

easy. Yeah. Even just in the last couple days, you talk about like living open-handed. Yeah. Or like just open to what is coming. Is feels like what I've been doing, but also paired with that masculine, like active energy. It's like I, you don't even have to try so hard. No, because stuff comes in. Yes. When you're living with an open soul, open-handed, not attached. Like I'm not, like it must happen X, y, and Z way. Yeah. Oh,

Josh

I expect it now. Yeah. It's like it's happening. Yeah.

Erin

convinced, I've gotten dms, I've gotten emails that are like, Hey, will you partner with us? And I'm like fuck. Yeah. Outta nowhere.

Josh

You weren't getting that a week ago. I know. Swear. I know. You

Erin

weren't getting it a week ago. it's like the whole concept of the law of attraction is that like attraction, I was just about to say that. And my soul before was gripping so hard onto what it felt like were like the final pennies of our, you know. Yeah. I wasn't gonna let go of a thing. Yep. And so nothing was coming in because I was so closed off. But now instead of this oh, I guess I have to pay that$10 for that thing, it's like I'm paying and I'm saying, thank you universe for this whatever bag of groceries, whatever it is. Abundance. Abundance. There is so much available to us. Yes. We're taught that everything is limited, that there's scarcity every everywhere. But like if you look at it in reality, there is so much money out there. There is so much food. There's just so much outing there. There is a lot of inequities that keep it from people. Yes. And there's a lot of underprivileged. Yeah. Three D physical world things that Keep certain people from having access to it, which is of course a problem and worth us. Yes. Fighting to change. But generally speaking, when we live closed off, we are also going to get closed off. Yeah. Like, we're not gonna receive. Yeah. And so just that very simple kind of like shift of my soul has already brought things in. Yeah. Now, that's not to say we're never gonna struggle again. We're never gonna have suffering again. Like Of course. Yeah. And we'll choose to learn from those too, but I don't know. I just feel like we're both kind of feeling done with creating the suffering for ourselves. We both shed it.

Josh

Yeah. In within a week. Yeah. Is gone.

Erin

There is some suffering that's unavoidable for sure. But would you what percentage would you estimate that we create for ourselves? 85%. Yeah. That's about where I would land to. 80, 90%, But like we don't have to do that.

Josh

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I even think, oh, there's, so we have a whole podcast just on all of that, but sometimes that's the only way we're gonna learn.

Erin

Yeah. And that's what I have to remind myself too. I think all the,

Josh

but we don't have, that was the point of my breath work. Yeah. I don't have to learn that way anymore. Yes. I am open and aware enough that I don't have to learn the hard way anymore. Yeah. I did. Right. Have to learn the hard way to get to exactly where I am right now, but I'm done. Yeah. It's

Erin

over. Feels, feels like the veil. It's every time that happens, I'm like, how many veils do I have on? Yeah. That

Josh

felt like all of the veils at once. Yeah. Yeah. It's done. It's over. I'm done letting other people learning the hard way, drag me down to learn the hard way too. I am my own person and.

Erin

I'm free. Yeah. Even it's been interesting too because I think so many of us are taught and almost drilled into us that, work ethic and hard work and dedication. People called be a workhorse. Yeah. But that is like something to be praised. Mm-hmm. And it will, pay off. It's the only way to get ahead in life and it's almost borderline offensive when you offer a different narrative. Mm-hmm. Like it gets people riled up. Definitely worked up. Yeah. What is that, do you think?

Josh

don't know. Fear. I think we've been trained that the only way to move forward is to work really hard. we've never tried not.

Erin

Maybe it's just the fear of I did it this way my whole life and I can't, I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Josh

This doesn't mean that you don't work at all. No. Like you're not sitting back expecting things to just come to you. You still have to put the effort in. You just don't have to die doing it. That's all that means. Yeah. And to live in more of a flow. Because when you're in that flow, it doesn't feel like work. Exactly. That's what makes it feel easy. I think so many are caught up in not flow.

Erin

That's the sludge. Or that's somehow too good to be true. Like There's just no way that would work. But I love, I think Tim Ferriss is, I've heard him talk about this exercise he does with himself and he's another person who historically has learned the hard way. Yeah. And is very like, work oriented. But he will do this exercise, I think journaling. If he's struggling with something, a project, a relationship or whatever, he'll use the prompt, what would this look like if it was easy? Or if easy is too far.'cause if that just makes you feel like, no way. Yeah. You could say, what would this look like if it were fun? Or what would this look like if it were elegant? Yeah. Which just is a little more of like flowy in nature. Yeah. But like he also does the

Josh

opposite. If I did this, what's worst case scenario?

Erin

Yeah. The fear plan. Wait, what does he call it? Fear setting. Yeah. Instead of goal setting. Yeah. Fear setting. Yeah. I love

Josh

that concept, which is really, really cool. Mm-hmm. So like, I'm gonna do this. I think he talked about going on a four month retreat or something that ended up being 18 months or something like that, casual. And he essentially was like, what's the worst thing that happens? Everything goes under, and I end up on my friend's couch for a couple months. Yeah. Like I could be okay. Mm-hmm. And so he

Erin

did it. Yeah. And he talks about too, which I wish I, whatever I could kick myself for all the things that I wish I would've done over the last 10 months, but, Setting fears like that. Yeah. Saying okay, what's the worst that could happen if I tried X, Y, and Z? Not only just that though, he goes, he takes it a step further to say okay, how can I prevent those things from happening? Sure. And a lot of them you can prevent. We all have the different fears

Josh

too, because Yeah, yours was failure. Your worst case scenario is oh, I fail, which is hilarious. And for me, I'm like, who cares?

Erin

Exactly. Fail. The like most ironic part is that then I feel like such a failure. Yeah. Because I never started. A hundred percent. It's yeah, I could have at least, had the satisfaction of knowing I gave it a good old college try, but We're learning.

Josh

Okay, after all of this, who would you recommend to see if Kambo's right for them?

Erin

Oh, that's a good question. There's obvious, like physical contraindications with Kambo, which I'll have to let Anastasia talk more about. Generally speaking though, I feel like Kambo can be for anyone. think if you're feeling blocked energetically. And that may come out any different type of way in your life, physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, personally, if you're feeling blocked, I think it can be a huge tool Yeah. To unlock some things. from a physical side of things, I do think it can be really quite helpful for a lot of people. I've read little bits here and there about all sorts of different diagnoses, but Lyme is a big one. Yeah. With Kambo, I think because it, it hits the lymph. That's like, why would you burn the holes in your skin? Yeah. Is to get access to the lymphatic system. So the Kambo and all the a hundred plus peptides in Kambo, it's like surging through the lymphatic system, clearing things out. Mm-hmm. Um, moving things. Yeah. Moving out toxins and things like that. if you're ready for a purge Then Kambo's for you. If you are a person seeking the sacred, I love plant and amphibian. I feel like Kambo feels like a plant medicine, even though it's from a frog. But I love plant medicine for that'cause I just feel like there's so much, these plants and animals are, Millennia. Yeah. Older than us. Like the, it's no wonder to me that they have this sort of innate intelligence about them. Yeah. That we can't fully explain. Same with the mycelium network that like connects all the trees in the forest. Yeah. And rebuild. Like There's so much intelligence there that we, with our frontal cortex, think that we're so beyond, but these things are like wise beyond us, beyond what we could ever comprehend and understand. And Kambo fits under that category for me as well. So if you're looking for some sort of sacred experience and for me, I missed a lot of that about church, like that kind of ritual. Sacred space. Yeah. Yeah. So it felt really beautiful just to be able to set aside some sacred time to connect with God, source, spirit, whatever works for you. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Those would be the big ones I think. You're awesome. You're awesome. Anastasia's awesome, and I can't wait to get her on here. I'm gonna hound her until she gives me a date. It'll be great. I'm excited to

Josh

have her on. Yeah. She seems like a fascinating human being. Yeah, for

Erin

sure. She said she sat with Ayahuasca for, like maybe over a hundred times, which is wild. Absurd. I know. I can't even imagine. Yeah,

Josh

she's probably seen a few things. Yeah, for sure. Well, I'm proud

Erin

of you. Thanks. I'm proud of you too. We're both eyes. We are out here hustling.

Josh

No, we're not. We're out here.

Erin

Flowing. Flowing. I'm genuinely though and you've been talking about this for, I don't know, a year. You're like, wait. But just imagine if we were both, I know on this straight up. I've been saying it for a year. The vibration. I know. And I feel like finally we're kind of both in a similar vibration where we're just open and receiving. Yeah. We're not chasing. And so yeah. We'll see where this gets

Josh

us. About to get us places. Yeah. Promise you that. I'm excited, but I am proud of you because while things can come easy. You gotta go through this to get to where you're at right now. And we're all purging whether we want to or not. to voluntarily step into a space, knowing you're gonna purge is a unique mentality. Yeah. And. For many people it's a hurdle that you have to overcome. I'd say for most, nobody wants to step into pain. Sure. But doing that work is profound. breath work for you is a lot different than breath work for me. So sometimes I feel like breath work sounds like how you felt going into Kambo. When I sit with my breath I'm not looking forward to it. Yeah. I'm looking forward to when it's over. Yeah. And I know how much of an impact it has on me, but up until this point, there's been a lot of pain that's existed inside of all of those sessions. I think we're all over with that though. Yeah. I think we got some bliss up in here. Yeah. So yeah, I'm excited to see what comes next in all of our experiences because. I think now we're open to receive all of those all that hardships behind us. Yeah, it just took me like 20 breathwork sessions and it took you one purge with Kambo. No big deal.

Erin

It's all that divine feminine up in here. She just lets it flow.

Josh

You got it. You're ready to roll. I know, but that's inspiring too. And maybe something that listeners need to note that intentionality of being open before you go into something Laura mentioned this too, but as a human we tend to clench. When we know something bad's coming, just like a car accident they talk about that what a drunk driver versus a right sober person have two different outcomes in a car crash. that kind of is how we go into even these types of things. You go into ayahuasca, I. so many people are probably clenched, I would be without your insight. Like your example of this has made me realize that I can become open to things prior to going into it, and I wonder if my experience would be different. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I encourage others to consider that too, because that example is also profound.

Erin

Thanks. Yeah. again, I said, I think I said this in the last episode too, but viewing every part of life, whether that's a conflict you're in the midst of, or whether that's a relationship or a professional endeavor or literally anything in life. Yeah. Waiting in line in the grocery store. Like these are all invitations for us to practice like in real time. Yep. Staying open, being open, leading with love. Yeah. it's all just invitations to be present and. Fully open to whatever the universe has for us. So you don't need even to do breath work or Kambo. I think those are awesome ways to like really solidify the Yeah. The lessons and the practice. But I think the real magic happens when we're able to work that out. Yeah. Just in our normal, everyday mund. That's the goal life. Yeah.

Josh

Boom. Shaka Laga. Love you boo.

Erin

Love

Josh

you guys. Are we just gonna end it right there? Might as well. We gotta go pick up the kid. Might as well. Here we are. Boom. Shaka turner. Okay.

Erin

Bye. Love you. Stay bye.