Josh: [00:00:00] everybody. What it do baby boo? What's lighting you up? Man, [00:01:00] that pattern app's still lighting me up. Oh really? Yeah, it's so good. I haven't been on it in a while. Astrologically inspiring. There you go. It's so good, because we had that eclipse, and I was like, What's going on? Tell me everything! 

Erin: And it did.

What is eclipse season energy for you? 

Josh: I have a moon in Sag. Good old Sag. I will 

Erin: say. 

Josh: Sag. Reminds me of vag. I don't love the abbreviation of Sag. I kind of knew it'd make you feel uncomfortable, so I say Sag. Okay, Sag. Yeah, but it's just enlightening. And empowering. You kind of feel like, yeah, this is my true identity.

I'm working through this. 

but it's been 

Erin: good. I'm shocked you didn't say. Fall 

Josh: leaves. The colors of the leaves are stupid 

Erin: right now. We have so many trees in our neighborhood that are just like on fire.

It is wild. 

Josh: I think I just posted about this, but this is the first time where I have genuinely embraced the colors of fall. Yeah. What was I doing? You were moving 

Erin: too fast, Blatch. 

Josh: Slow down, Blatch. So I did.[00:02:00] Welcome. And I've been looking up and it's awesome. It is. The sky, 

Erin: the trees. I just want to chase fall.

Josh: What's lighting you up? 

Erin: So many things are lighting me up. 

Fall trees. Colors. Definitely one of them. German new medicine. My new hyper fixation topic. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There's another thing. Honestly, kimchi. 

Josh: Dude, that kimchi you got is slamming. I don't 

Erin: know. I've been trying to be more mindful about getting fermented foods in my diet because I know how important those are for gut health. nature's probiotic. But I was kind of tired of sauerkraut, so I bought some kimchi.

Josh: Yeah, no offense, but sauerkraut is is boo boo. She's spicy. Nah, sauerkraut is just straight boo. That's what I'm saying, kimchi. Kimchi is slamming. 

Erin: Yeah, that's what I'm A plus. 

Josh: What are we talking about today? 

Erin: I did want to, if it's okay with you, dive into German new medicine just a little bit because 

Josh: it's German 

Erin: new old medicine.

Yeah, Josh makes fun of the fact that it's called new medicine, even though it was discovered like in the seventies. Who thought of that 

Josh: name? 

Erin: It was a new paradigm. In the 50s! 60s or 70s. Yeah! it's a new paradigm. Which, it was [00:03:00] non congruent 

Josh: with the... Honestly, the entire name is atrocious.

Erin: Okay, well, we can call it something different. I'm 

Josh: not saying it's your fault. Why you gotta get so defensive on it? I'm saying... The dude who thought of this should have thought way harder on the name. Because it would have been adopted a lot faster. You know what, at least Hash. Especially in the 60s? Get out of here!

New? When is new not new? It's subjective. Man, the UX flaws in this are terrible. Erin's giving me all these weird faces. 

Erin: I'm like, why are you so tight about what it's called? 

Josh: Because this could have gotten so much bigger if you would have named it something better. I, 

Erin: I, 

I doubt it. This is a Wow.

Josh: Erin's struggling. She got so defensive there for a moment. Then she realized it's how silly she got defensive. I can have opinions about the name. I just want it to get big and exciting and change the world. But German New Medicine isn't how 

Erin: it's going to happen. At least he didn't name it after himself like half the doctors out there.

Josh: Nobody cares about all those doctors. 

Erin: This is reminding me of our soup debate this week. 

Josh: Ah, soup is [00:04:00] terrible. 

Erin: Guys, it's soup season and Josh doesn't like soup and it really drives me bonkers. 

Josh: It's a terrible user experience. It's cozy. It's just like, let me

bob for my food in a liquid bowl. 

Erin: Bobbing for apples, but bob for your dinner.

No, 

Josh: let me just sift through this water and find all of the ingredients that were soaked in this water for three hours. It doesn't make any sense and then it's like all over everyone's slurping the whole room is like It's all over my beard anyway dripping down your 

Erin: chin well now I can't make soup even though it's a cozy 

Josh: and then halfway through you're like i'm full no shit because you just had 40 ounces of water with your meal and then in an hour you're like i'm hungry and you're like no shit 40 ounces with your meal 

Erin: It's a terrible experience.

Anyway, now I have to make soup for one. Thick 

Josh: soup, I'm all about. Okay, stew? Because you're not like sifting through like, ooh, I feel like stew is the same thing as soup. 

Erin: Okay, chili? I don't know. 

Josh: Chili's better. But like, anything creamy? Like your squash [00:05:00] soup. Oh, 

Erin: wow. You would rather have squash soup than yeah, because I'm 

Josh: not having to like play where in the world is Carmen Sandiego with my food. 

Erin: You're ridiculous. I'm serious. All right. 

Josh: It feels like squash soup is so much more filling. Yeah, 

Erin: but Zoe won't eat squash soup So I'm really at a loss here people Zoe.

I'll make three different soups for dinner tonight 

Josh: I'm just I ate soup and it was good. I'm not saying it was bad I'm just saying it's a terrible user experience and that bothers me. Okay, fair enough If you dug deep down you would admit that soup isn't the best user experience 

Erin: I get where you're coming from, but I enjoy the cozy slurping.

Josh: You could do that with a cup of tea. 

Erin: True, but sometimes I like it for a meal. Savory. With 

Josh: chicken and stuff in it? Exactly. Chicken and carrots? Yum! chicken broth. Fantastic. Put it in a mug, slurp away. I'm like, hell yeah, this is awesome. But I'm not having to like navigate through the oceans with my [00:06:00] spoon to find the meat of the meal.

Erin: So next time what I'll do is I'll take your chicken soup and I'll put it in a blender and you can have chicken slop for dinner. And then I'll eat the 

Josh: delicious soup. Trifling. Trifling. Anyways, German New Medicine and soup. I have problems with both. No need to get defensive of either one. I just know that both have poor user experience.

All right. 

Erin: Looks like it for marrying a user experience guy. Hey, 

Josh: it is what it is. I make things great. 

Erin: It's true. Anyway, back to German New Medicine. So it was founded by this guy named Dr. Hommer back in the, I don't know, 60s, I think. And I will say I'm skeptical just in general about all things. But that's a fact So i'm still learning about this.

It's just caught my attention. Okay, that's all i'm gonna say. I'm not saying I identify with this new Methodology of thinking, but 

Josh: caught her attention as in has disappeared for the past two and a half weeks in podcasts and research or Zoe and I'll be talking to her and there just won't be any answers.

I'll be like, wow, she is gone. Sorry. 

Erin: I'm [00:07:00] currently reading a case study from 1972 

Josh: about of German new old 

Erin: medicine stage for ovarian cancer. Anyway, it is fascinating. Let me tell you, just so people have context. Tell me this isn't going to be a whole podcast about Germany medicine. For a lot of reasons.

I think it may bore people, but if anybody 

Josh: listens to the last podcast, the intro turned into a podcast that I had to edit 25 minutes out of. 

Erin: So yes, we'll keep it to hopefully just the first little bit here. But Dr. Hamer was, I think, in. OBGYN, I think. I don't know exactly. He was a doctor. 

Josh: I'm skeptical about those people.

About 

Erin: OBGYN? 

Josh: Me too, honestly. Yeah, what the fuck is a dude being like, let me look at vaginas for the rest of my career? Have you ever actually been? No, I don't know. I was just 

Erin: women body is beautiful and totally is totally Yoni's out there.

I will say my brief clinical stint in an OBGYN was not exactly sexy. 

Josh: Okay. can't imagine that there'd be any ounce of sexy in an OBGYN. Anyways, I'm skeptical [00:08:00] at baseline about dudes that decide to go into OBGYN.

Yeah, 

Erin: that's why I always preferred female. Uh, Yeah. Anyway. That's a different topic for a different day. He was a doctor. I don't actually know what his specialty was. But when he was, I think, in his 40s, his adult son was tragically killed in some like, accidental shooting or something. A few months later, Dr.

Hamer himself developed testicular cancer. so he was always like a generally healthy guy you know, never had health issues in the past. And So this seemed just not coincidental, right? There's no way that... No such thing. Exactly. There's no way that the death of his son was not somehow related to his testicular cancer. So he started investigating. He went through kind of the conventional treatment at the time, because that was all that he knew.

But he kind of used himself as a guinea pig, to try to figure out the connection between the psyche and the testicles, the testicles. Precisely. And over time, so he worked mostly [00:09:00] with cancer because that was his lived experience. And over time, he found this correlation between what he called conflict shock events.

So any sort of event that caught you by surprise. And that could be something big, like the loss of a loved one in his experience, or something even kind of minute as like an offensive or like a smell that caught you off guard. That's a huge spectrum that he was working with. he reviewed, like tens of thousands of brain scans, CT scans of people with cancers, different types of cancers, and found that there were these rings within the CT scans of these people.

So like rings in a tree? Kind of. Yeah. They're like these concentric circles. depending on where they were in the brain, correlated with specific conflict shocks, which also correlated with specific organs within the body. That's fascinating. So over decades, he kind of mapped all these things out and figured out that loss of his child presented with rings at a certain part of his brain, which I don't exactly know which part that [00:10:00] was but that it correlates directly with the testes because it has to do with the evolution of the mesoderm and different parts of our body evolutionarily and embryonically as well.

They correlate, like they developed at the same time as that part of the brain, if that makes sense. Wow. Yeah. You know, the new brain or like the frontal kind of cortex, a part of our brain that gives us the higher functioning is correlated with different parts of the body or different organs than say the hindbrain or like the reptilian brain, the old part of our brain.

so again, tens of thousands of CT scans he looked at, reviewed talked with these people to discover kind of what. conflict shock or what event had happened in their life prior to their diagnosis of cancer and was able to find in his words, 100 percent of these people had the correlating rings on their CT scan and their, wow.

yeah, which correlated with whatever organ they developed cancer in. So it's just a really fascinating framework now, of course, [00:11:00] because his Model and his framework was so contradictory to what modern medicine was kind of selling This is super controversial, right? So like the medical school that he was associated with You know was like not thrilled by his findings And so that's the stuff that I'm still looking into okay.

What about this is legitimate? What is Who knows? It's hard to know because a lot of, he went to prison for a period of time, like 18 months. Why? Because he wouldn't stop practicing this German new medicine with patients, which is so fascinating, especially because he was working with people that had you know, stage four cancers.

There was nothing that modern medicine was going to do to help these people. Yeah. You know, they were at a point where they were in palliative care. And so he would take these people on and according to his like documentation, which he has I think he had over six or 7, 000 case studies documented.

He had like a 70 to 80 percent success rate with terminal cancer patients, which is crazy. The system is bonkers. I know. Again, I haven't like fully fact checked. I don't even know how somebody would fully fact [00:12:00] check this. This is just things that I've been reading and looking into. Yeah. But like when I looked back at.

The trial, so he went to court, obviously, multiple times over this, because he was just trying to do what he was doing, and people were trying to put him in prison over it, and take his license and all these things the German authorities at the time, When they were arguing in court whether or not this was actually a legitimate practice that he had, the German authorities at the time went to the homes of a lot of the patients that he had documented.

I think it was like, they went to 6, 000 or so Patients who had terminal cancer who from the modern medical perspective should have died within the five years like most, I think, 90 percent of people with terminal cancer after five years or are no longer alive. But they went and they found 80 percent of them or 70 percent of them were still alive, and this was seven or eight, nine years later. I don't know. It feels like there's some legitimacy to this. It's hard to know because it happened so long ago and so much of it was [00:13:00] kind of squashed by the powers at be. Anyway, that's kind of the background of German New Medicine, how it came about.

The kind of fundamental framework of it is, like I said, there's, so there's this initial conflict shock, whatever it was that kind of caught you off guard, and it lands on your psyche, right? So we have this kind of moment where Our psyche is just caught off guard and we have this biological response to that which is connected from the brain to a specific organ and the reasoning there and each one is a little bit different.

But I'll just use Dr. Hamer's example. So his son was killed. That was obviously a shock to his psyche, which then landed at a certain part of his brain, which connected with the testes The kind of evolutionary purpose of this, because why would it happen unless it had some sort of evolutionary survival benefit to us as a species.

The purpose, he hypothesized, was that the tumor in his testes was creating more testosterone to essentially Try to have another child to replace the one [00:14:00] that was lost if that makes sense. Yeah, And each one is different. So like similar with breast cancer and ovarian cancer, and there's just different conflict shocks, there's self devaluation is one where a person devalues themself and that can have all sorts of representations physically, but The main points are so there's two phases of then this kind of response that the body has.

One is the active conflict phase where the tissues or the cells are replicating. So that's like the response of that organ is to either replicate or break down just depending on what happened and where. And that's considered the cold phase. So often people have cold hands and feet.

They feel really tired and sluggish.

But then conflict is able to be resolved, so whether Obviously, this isn't always possible, but say in Dr. Hamer's case, if you were able to then have another child, that psyche, that kind of loop, would close. Because okay, we've achieved the job we were trying to do. And [00:15:00] then we would move into the healing phase.

But if that's not possible, because again, he was in his forties. I don't think he was looking to have another child. The other option is if you are able to consciously link physical representation of these things with the conflict shock, if you're able to consciously link those two, then it kind of breaks that cycle and then you move into the second phase, which is the healing phase.

this is where German New Medicine has kind been rocking my world a little bit because the healing phase is when a lot of the symptoms occur. So that's when like the inflammation happens, the Night sweats, the pain, the symptoms, the symptoms. Yeah. Like just depending on what conflict shocked and where this is presenting.

Sometimes it's like the eczema or whatever, but that's the healing phase. And so we're so often talking about how like it's a sign that your body is. It's out of balance. It's off. And I still agree with that. But according to German New Medicine, it's actually your body is already healing.

And it's when we're able to like fully believe that. Is 

Josh: it healing or attempting to heal? 

Erin: well, it's actually healing. It's [00:16:00] the process of healing. However, what often happens, and this is what he talks a lot about, The fear kicks in because we're having all these symptoms. Sure.

that's a new conflict shock. The diagnosis fear or the fear of certain symptoms that's gonna start a whole new loop, if that makes sense. Interesting. And you can get stuck in the active phase. Oftentimes, if that conflict is not able to be resolved, then you get kind of stuck in this prolonged conflict phase. But you can bounce back and forth between healing conflict. But the only way out is through that healing phase. So it's just a fascinating new way of looking at things.

it is a really helpful framework to understand the deep connectedness between mind, body, soul, or whatever you want to call it, psyche, brain, organ. We cannot separate or silo these parts of us, like they're intricately connected, whether or not you believe in German new medicine or not it's kind of irrefutable that these things are connected and impacting our physical realities.

Yeah. I [00:17:00] think about the placebo effect and how powerful that can be, like 30 to 50 percent sometimes in clinical trials the placebo effect is effective. And so how do you explain that without understanding that the brain and the psyche and the body are all connected?

So what I really want to talk about today, after that long saga of German New Medicine, is how our beliefs and our identity impacts our Lived reality, our physical experience, our symptoms and things like that, because I think and correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like that's where your health really changed.

I think bioenergetics was really helpful platform for you to stand on to like find stability. But it wasn't until that winter that you got real inward. worked on shifting beliefs and your identity. It was like that was the ticket, I think, that really changed your outcome. So yeah, talk to us a little bit about what that looked like for you and how you think it changed your physical health.

Josh: Yeah

I talk [00:18:00] about Often that when you're so chronically ill, it's really difficult to kind of wrap your mind around the next phase. And so winter for me, I had already been doing bioenergetics and kind of aiding my body in rebalancing itself because the symptoms were so severe that it was knocking me out every hour of the day.

It's really difficult to compete with that mentally, regardless of. If it's fear or not, and in a lot of ways, I don't think it was for me. I wouldn't identify the symptoms kind of universally happening because I was scared. I was getting angry and not angry in a way that like, Oh, I'm scared to live with this for the rest of my life.

I just almost didn't feel like I deserved this. Like I've been through this enough. I've learned what I need to learn. Let's. Get this the fuck away kind of deal, but during the winter Enough of the symptoms started to subside that I felt like I had an opportunity to fully [00:19:00] grasp the idea of Mindfulness, and I don't know Reidentifying myself and going inward for me and I think for many people that are severely chronically ill It's really difficult to juggle the mind body soul in a holistic way to then create Enough opportunities in each to find healing in all, if that makes sense.

There's phases in my opinion, and I hear what German medicine is saying. And I think that idea and philosophy is fascinating, but I think symptoms can get so severe that you're just fighting every day, which is so time consuming and exhausting and mentally consuming. All of your thoughts that like, this is so painful or this is laying me out so bad.

I just got to get through this yeah, you have a lot of alone time and yeah, you have a lot of time with your thoughts, but there's so many times throughout the day where your thoughts. Are neither good or bad, you're just pushing through it's really difficult to get to a point in your mindfulness [00:20:00] to appreciate the gifts that I would call now that are happening all around those symptoms.

So winter was that point for me where I had a couple of scans with Ruti under my belt. Some of the symptoms started to subside and I felt like I had moments throughout the day where I had enough. Power in myself to counteract everything else that was going on. I don't think very often though, in chronic illness, you get to that deathbed moment.

I think oftentimes, especially inside of the idea of chronic illness, I'm not talking about terminally ill people. I'm talking specifically about my experience inside of chronic illness and others that I see and have seen inside of chronic illness, where you have these flare ups that get really bad and knock you out.

And it feels like a lifetime, but maybe it's two months or three months and then gets a little bit better and you still have symptoms, but you're managing them and you're able to live enough. All of those are opportunities for you to tackle mindfulness. then once I got into the mindfulness enough went inward as much as [00:21:00] I possibly could.

That's when the spirituality started to come into play. 

Erin: And what were some of the like beliefs or identity shifts that you really worked on? 

Josh: I got to the point where I saw even an ounce of healing Where I saw a single symptom disappear and I was like, Oh fuck, I got this now. And my mentality just shifted into I'm healing instead of this is going to be my sentence for the rest of my life.

The mental shift of not only appreciation of what was going on, but the optimism of this is going to get better. And then the placebo or whatever you want to call it, of convincing myself that. I was healed or I was healing telling myself that over and over. Convinced my psyche that it was happening.

That is hands down the biggest hurdle that we see. Inside of anybody going through Ruti with chronic illness, they start to see some healing, but then they don't get over that hump of belief. If you don't believe that you can heal Ruti shit, it's not going to work. Save your money. I know. I don't want your money.

 we're just gonna [00:22:00] freaking go in circles attempting to get you better. And if you don't believe it, that is our biggest enemy. It's not the symptoms. So like, don't waste your money on something like this if you don't fully believe in it and ultimately believe you're going to heal.

Yeah. 

Erin: And we've said this a hundred times. There are so many different modalities out there for you to choose from. Pick one that resonates with you to a point where you can believe wholeheartedly this is working. This is going to heal me. Yeah. 

Josh: I think one of the biggest things inside of that is the lack of empowerment.

Yeah. You're giving credit to everything else around you except yourself. So what you do is you put your faith in Ruti, you put your faith in a functional medicine doctor, you put your faith in every westernized doctor that you go to. You're not putting any faith in yourself. You're constantly externally looking for answers.

When. Literally every single one. I don't give a shit what people say about that, including the Ruti Bionergetics. All those fucking answers are coming from yourself. Yeah. We're just [00:23:00] analyzing them with a level of hertz and telling you what your body is telling us. Yeah. We're not telling you anything.

We're just, calculating them. 

Erin: reflecting you back to you. 

Josh: Yeah. You have to trust in yourself. 

Erin: Yeah, and I mean,

Josh: Sorry, heated, but it is so annoying, like y'all, this is the biggest hurdle that everyone in the chronic illness community has. Once you can get over that hurdle, lights out, baby.

Yeah. you're going to start healing at a rapid rate. I could care less if you decide to use Ruti. I genuinely think that there are so many modalities out there that could heal you if you believed 

Erin: it. Yes, exactly. . Because similarly to that book we were reading about wealth and abundance, your beliefs.

Literally create your reality and to what degree you believe them. Yes, this isn't metaphysical in nature. This is your beliefs inform your biology, your beliefs inform like what you're calling into your life, your beliefs create your habits, 

Josh: which I mean, that's manifestation. Yeah, you are very literally manifesting exactly where you're sitting right [00:24:00] now.

Listen to this, 

Erin: right? And to what degree you believe you can heal is the degree that you will heal. And so if there's doubt floating around there, you've got to address it because it's going to hold 

Josh: you back. It's not doubt within all the modalities. It's doubt within yourself. 

Erin: Exactly. Yeah. again, if you're going to outsource your healing to anyone, I don't care who it is, what kind of doctor, practitioner, if you're outsourcing your healing abilities, It's not gonna work out for you. you've got to find that within and then utilizing these tools as kind of a support or a way to bridge The gap a little bit.

But yeah, I think that's super important and definitely again just as a third party watching you and your journey That was for sure when your story kind of changed and when I saw you really start to heal at a rapid rate. 

Josh: Yeah. And I'm not disregarding the hell that anybody with a chronic illness is going through. That's a given. We all know that it sucks. It's fucking terrible. But you have to feel safe within yourself.

You have to fully know yourself, fully trust yourself, [00:25:00] fully feel safe with yourself and then go for it and just choose something. Believe in your intuition. 

Erin: Yeah. I mean,

It's tricky because if you're like. person with a lot of negative self beliefs or an identity that is, attached to whatever diagnosis that you've gotten or things like that. I mean, Your beliefs and your thoughts are not going to be true all the time. You have 

Josh: to fully break 

Erin: down your identity.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I think this is helpful for me, rather than seeing my beliefs Based on reality, of course, they're always gonna feel based on reality, right? Like why would I have a belief if it wasn't based on truth? but that's a dangerous rabbit hole to go down because first of all, it sets us up for

divisiveness in our relationships and culture just like the way that we move and live and breathe in the world because it makes it so that anyone coming to a different conclusion than me is like Psychotic. Sure. If you're coming to a different belief about something than I am, and I know that my belief is based on reality, that makes you insane.

Sure. So that's dangerous, I [00:26:00] think. But also, it's just not helpful because we can utilize beliefs If we're able to detach it from like this truth concept, what is truth exactly if we are able to detach from that and we are able to see beliefs as really a tool to aid in making this lived experience, this consciousness is kind of feeling of what it's like to be me in the world.

We can utilize beliefs to make that. a better, more pleasant experience here in our life. Or if we're unaware of the beliefs and we're just letting them, you know, like a ticker tape, just like going constantly ticker tape. Is that what it's called? I have 

Josh: no idea. What is a 

Erin: ticker tape? What's the thing like in time square where it's like showing the word ticker bar, scroll bar.

Anyway, if the beliefs are just scrolling and we're not paying attention to what they are, if it's just the water that we're swimming in every day and we're not aware that it's water, does that make sense? Then it has the real chance to negatively impact our life.

And so I just think being consciously aware of, and this is where like the [00:27:00] meditation and stuff comes in because it's a way of kind of flexing that muscle of reigning in your thoughts or being aware of what you're perseverating about all day. But so many of us are not even Myself included. It's like I can go a whole day and not even consider the fact that 80 percent of my thoughts were around this one belief that does not serve me.

It does not serve me. It makes no positive advancements in my life and yet I'm so attached to it because it's the water that I've been swimming in. But all it takes sometimes is a little bit of intention, like a little bit of devotion to myself, to whatever it is, meditate, journal. 

Josh: On a daily basis, especially with chronic illness, there's no excuse to not find a moment of solitude. Inside every single day.

I want to shake people because I'm like, wake the fuck up. You have so much power. Stop giving it to everyone else. There's so much unsolicited advice, especially with social media and just like life that we live in, you got to just. Unplugged. Mute! Yeah. listen to yourself. [00:28:00] That solitude is going to allow so much to speak within you and you have to eliminate the fear of whatever you're going to find when you begin that solitude.

Erin: I think oftentimes we're, Maybe a little afraid of what we're gonna find when we go inward. , especially probably, I would imagine in a season of chronic illness, you're like, yikes. If this is my external world , and it's so like sludgy and dense and , feels really dark, what is it gonna look like inside?

Yeah. 

Josh: There's a quote that I heard, I don't know who has said it, but. It says, the magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding. Yeah. The magic is inside. You're avoiding. You. Yeah. I know that may be the idea of the quote. Is Oh, you need to do what's uncomfortable from an external perspective, like quit your job and go do this or whatever change is going to be good for you.

I wish people could understand how much magic they have. I know. Same. We constantly are reminding ourselves on a daily basis. I wish [00:29:00] people would wake up and realize that the magic that they're in search of, and for some people, their entire lives is within. And once you can find that, it is the hardest work you're ever going to do.

Yeah. Guaranteed. The most constant work you'll ever do every day, every hour healing doesn't end knowing yourself doesn't end and investigating and going inward is a lifelong journey, but there's so much magic inside of that and it's wild that people are avoiding that because you don't need anything.

I 

Erin: know, you have all your tools. Yeah, you 

Josh: don't have to rely on anybody. And honestly, don't. Fuck listening to anybody. Regardless of if it's unsolicited advice or not go in before you ask advice. Find that magic within. could you imagine how incredible the world would be if everyone just did the work that we're avoiding, inward work, and we all were just like floating around the world with magic.

It'd be like fucking 

Erin: pixie dust. I don't know why, for some [00:30:00] reason, I don't know if this is spirit or just language that I've used in the past, but two things keep coming up for me. Number one these are both kind of, of the Christian variety. So I'm sorry if this is triggering to you, but it's coming up.

So I'm going to say, Oh, I'm 

Josh: good. I feel so safe within myself. 

Erin: Yeah. Number one is that verse that talks about taking every thought captive and how important that is. Because again, if it's the water that we're swimming in, we're not aware of it. We're avoiding it. It's gonna keep us stuck. But then what the magic that you're talking about that's in, that's like the living water that Jesus always talked about.

Sure. it's an endless well or spring within us that we always have access to we don't take advantage of it. Like he even said that, like it's for everyone. It's here for everyone. And like he, I think was kind of a, Just an ultra conscious person. It was trying to maybe show the people of his time what that looked like to be conscious Yeah to be awake But yeah, that's like the magic and the source of the living water like that You're never gonna thirst again when you tap into that the 

Josh: spirituality side I genuinely believe you have to [00:31:00] start with the mindfulness You can't just like jump into spirituality and feel like you're gonna understand yourself You have to get so safe and understand yourself authentically, start to trust in yourself, and then all of a sudden you start to realize there is so much magic within you that it turns into this idea of spirituality.

You start to be able to tap into so many different types of quote unquote sources and realize that we're all connected. I 

Erin: was going to say the connectivity

really lights up. It's wild. 

Josh: Yeah. And the only way to do that is to fully embrace inwardly and go investigate where all those brick walls are that you're attempting to keep yourself safe.

But in reality, it's deterring you from the magic that you could be 

Erin: experiencing. Yeah. And I'm thinking now, so we're talking about. beliefs and how those can either harm us or heal us. And I do want to be sensitive, especially talking in the beginning of the podcast about things like terminal cancer and these diagnoses that sometimes we just don't have answers or we don't [00:32:00] have the math to make sense of these things.

There is no math to make terminal cancer make sense. There's just not. And there's 

Josh: so many factors. Yeah like, yes, there is the individual. There's factors within that, but there are external factors left and right, whether it be like predispositions that you had no control over or environment or past lives, even literally, I 

Erin: don't know.

So I, wanted to just say, of course, we have to hold space unknowable. Shit, that's hard. There is no math to make sense of that. However, the beautiful part of this work, unlike pharmaceuticals or unlike, when we pop a pill to take our problems away or to treat whatever diagnosis or disease we have, which there's a time and a place, I say that all the time.

But unlike those modalities, this inner work, this belief work, this shifting of identities or visualization, meditation, all these things. The only side effect is a more pleasant experience in this lifetime. So even if you are living with an [00:33:00] impossibly challenging experience, be it terminal cancer or whatever that is, doing this work

allows you, at least from what I've been told, this hasn't been an experience that I've had personally but I've seen others do this. It allows you to infuse that experience with joy and with hope and with peace, like this calm and this sovereignty, like knowing that even though I don't have control over everything and I can't know everything and I may not find the physical healing that I'm looking for in this lifetime.

Having that sovereignty over your inner body, your soul, your energetic body that is powerful stuff. 

Josh: Especially in the chronic illness community, which is who we work with on a daily basis.

The largest hurdle is not finding that piece. Safety and joy within 

Erin: yourself and coming from a nervous system perspective of course, you're gonna remain stuck in this state of chronic illness because your nervous system is constantly firing. It's sending all the signals to your body saying alert, keep the stress [00:34:00] hormones flow in and keep, the body inflamed because we're fighting this dangerous thing.

So as soon as we're able to tap into that safety, which sometimes does look more spiritual in nature than you know, there are limbic system rewiring and brain retraining programs out there, which are amazing, but there's other ways to do that too, just by shifting your beliefs and your identity.

But when we're able to. and soothe that nervous system to a point where we genuinely feel a sense of safety within our bodies like game on like your body's finally able to do what it needs to do and heal 

Josh: and just Open up, allow yourself to be so free in your thoughts. There's no judgment.

Honestly, when I completely released all ideology around my inner self, literally just demolished it, so many things started to come in. From things that I hear, to things that I feel, to things that I see. All of these things literally a year and a half ago, I would have been like, That dude is batshit crazy.

He sounds so wack there's no way he's feeling those things, or seeing those things, or whatever. All I [00:35:00] had to do was release all judgment and as soon as I opened up fully, whatever is connecting us, I choose to call it source, I think just flowed in at a rapid rate. On this topic, why do you think people are choosing not to go inward and relying on everything external?

Erin: This morning, our child was a hot mess. She was like wailing and crying and did not want to go to school and We couldn't figure out why, what was going on. But as I'm walking her to the bus and she's probably waking up all of our neighbors. Oh yeah. She was 

Josh: screaming. 

Erin: Several times along the walk and several times at home, I would like kneel down, look her in the eyes and say, Zoe, I can help you.

Change how you feel. You got to choose it. Do you choose to continue to feel how you're feeling right now? Or do you want to choose to feel differently? And five times, she looked me in the eyes with giant alligator tears and said, I want to continue. And I just think it's a vivid representation of humanity.

[00:36:00] And then our sweet little neighbor friend who was with us and very concerned about sobbing Zoe looks up at me and she goes, Ms. Erin, sometimes I think it's just better to feel sad. And I was like, you know what, honey? Same. And I just think sometimes, for whatever reason, we choose to stay sad. Or we choose to stay stuck.

Josh: We've been led to believe that's safer. And potentially easier. It's so difficult to shift out of any mentality. It takes so much work. 

Erin: Of course, and our daughter is five. And of course I was going to coach her through it. You know, we could have done tapping. We could have done breathing. I gave her all the options, right?

All of those are work to her though. Yes, that takes more work. And just being stuck in the wallowing and the sad is just sometimes what we choose. I don't know. And 

Josh: there's times and places for those. Yeah. Of course, like feeling all of the emotions is. Very valid. it becomes a tipping point.

Yeah. Where you are now choosing. 

Erin: Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about this all the time. If you have the [00:37:00] devotion and the love for yourself enough, To just be dedicated to say, I am not getting up from this seat until I feel different, until my energy changes 100%. you may sit there and weep for 20 minutes, and that's beautiful.

And you may sit there and meditate and come up with this whole new belief system about yourself. And that's beautiful. Whatever you do, though, Devote to yourself that love and respect for yourself to choose to feel differently. You don't have to choose to be stuck there. It does take some intention though.

You got to sit your butt down and say I'm not getting up from here until I feel different. You can journal, you can meditate, you can tap. There's so many ways to change your energy, but you got to choose 

Josh: With the experience of being a co founder of Ruti, mainly founded on my chronic illness experience and finding bioenergetics being really the only thing that helped me get to a place of healing. One thing that I've realized is that it is impossible, literally impossible. To help convince someone that [00:38:00] the hardest work that they're avoiding is themselves and the magic is always going to be within, it's not going to happen.

Somebody could have come up to me at my sickest points and where I'm at right now and tell me there's so many answers within, you just got to go within, wouldn't have remotely happened. I had to hit the literal rock bottom in order to be like, fuck this. restlessly.

 I had to exhaustively search for whatever that was. I had to completely strip away everything. There was no more noise. It was dead silent. so many people have to get to that point for them to finally realize that there are infinite answers within. And I think that happens even outside of chronic illness.

You as an example. Your practices aren't consistent. Yeah. And I am like a living example right in front of you on a daily basis. and I know like, I'm not perfect at all. I'm actually the very opposite of [00:39:00] perfect.

my consistency ebb and flows too in my own ways. But there isn't a doubt in my mind that all the magic I need is right here inside of me. And you still don't believe that in yourself sometimes. Yeah. 

all that to say, imagine somebody then with chronic illness, you're not chronically ill.

And you still aren't believing that all the magic you need is within you.

Erin: Yeah. I mean, If you sat down and asked me that, I'd say, hell yeah. 

Josh: Yeah. But if you fully believed it, if you fully had eliminated all the fear of going inward, you'd be inward all the time. and you're working very hard on it, so that's not neglecting the work that you've done, but now imagine that with an immense amount of symptoms that don't go away and sometimes on a weekly basis, there's new symptoms that get worse and your mind is so bogged down with just trying to live It's going to be impossible for anybody to convince you that there's answers within when you feel like everything within is just symptoms destroying you. So, Yeah, I have empathy [00:40:00] for that. I have patience for that. Y'all like I will be here whenever you choose to decide to look within, but the only person that's going to convince yourself is yourself.

For people in chronic illness, I think for many of us, we got there for a reason you have to get to that point where you're done and you're willing to do literally anything. And in many cases, the scariest part is going within. 

Erin: Yeah. You just have to take responsibility, take ownership over your 

Josh: healing.

How many years? Sorry, I keep interrupting you. How many years did I go? Looking for answers externally. Six. 

Erin: I mean, I think that's even where bioenergetics started for you. I know it ended providing kind of a path to healing, but it was just another tool that you were grabbing 

Josh: for. Bioenergetics in and of itself is just to get people to a point to realize that all the powers within, I think that's ultimately my goal in evangelizing Ruti.

Yeah. Yeah, you got symptoms and it sucks. Let's help to get your body into balance. Get it to a point where you realize that none [00:41:00] of this has been doing anything you've been doing at all and empower yourself in that superhero ness. Yeah. You 

Erin: think about just bioenergetically, what we're doing is we're trying to bring that level of hurts.

into this middle zone and if you think about beliefs and how they literally hold a vibration as well, a frequency again, there is metaphysical components to this, but we know that beliefs hold different vibrations and different frequencies within the brain.

So it makes sense to me that when the body is coming into alignment to some degree, that it's going to be a little more accessible to shift the vibration and the frequency of those beliefs. But it's a two way street, of course, like the beliefs are going to impact your physiology and vice versa. So I can see how that unfolded for you in that kind of chronological order.

But regardless, it's going to require some element of taking ownership and responsibility over your healing. relation to my inconsistency and habit formation, I'm reading atomic habits right now, which is already like it's a great loving it Yeah, but he even [00:42:00] talks about in this book how much more effective it is you're trying to change a habit because we know that habits over time create our reality in a lot of ways. Like they can either move us forward over time or keep us stuck or draw us back over time. And they feel kind of insignificant day to day. But when you compile that and you compound that over weeks, months, years, a habit is huge.

So that's why I'm reading this book 'cause I'm curious to see how that completely shift my trajectory. And that's why it's called atomic habits, atomic being the teeny tiny like atoms yet immensely powerful, like the atomic bomb. But he talks about how it's so much more effective to shift your habit forming and therefore your outcomes From an identity perspective not just an outcome perspective And so his example was if you talk to somebody or if you offer a cigarette to somebody who's trying to quit smoking One person may say no.

Thanks. I'm trying to quit The other person may say, no, thanks, I'm not a smoker, and that's a completely different energy that you're bringing to this new habit formation [00:43:00] and how much more successful the ones are who shift the identity from smoker to non smoker than from smoker to I'm trying to quit.

Same thing goes with, I think, anything, chronic illness included, rather than attaching to the identity of a diagnosis, whether it's chronic Lyme or mold illness or whatever, even just shifting to, I'm healing from X, Y, and Z instead of I have X, Y, and Z. That's a huge shift of an identity, which can help to generate better habits, which then change our whole life.

But that was interesting to me and I felt highly correlated with what we're talking about. I don't know what it is about. My identity or beliefs that keep me from, I mean, it's like I can sense the avoidance like I'll sit down to journal and it takes me like 15 minutes to like actually put pen to paper or I sit down to meditate.

And again, it takes me 10 or 15 minutes to even click in with self source. What sort of wisdom or advice would you give to a person? Like me, who senses the [00:44:00] avoidance, but just has a hard time getting over the hump. I don't know what I'm avoiding even. I believe that there's magic in here.

Like I've sensed that through breathwork, through combo, through all these things. Like I know that about myself and yet I'm avoiding something. 

Josh: All I hear is you have to trust yourself. Yeah. That's what I hear. I don't even know if that's advice or not. Yeah. That very much is probably your biggest hurdle.

You just gotta trust yourself, for your entire life, and even for the majority of your childhood, you were taught to put your trust in other people. 

Erin: Yeah, the religious framework for sure taught me not to trust self. 

Josh: Even college, like westernized medicine doesn't tell you to trust yourself. 

Erin: Yeah, it's trust the protocols and trust the, yeah.

Josh: And many of those protocols are for good reason because there could be negative outcomes, It's still, I don't know, a Westernized Bible. you have to sit with that and trust yourself. I don't think it's fear. I don't think you're afraid to go in. You wouldn't have purged so fast in Kambo if it was fear.

Erin: I genuinely don't feel afraid of what I'm going to [00:45:00] find. I 

Josh: don't think that's what it is. literally, in my knowing, I just keep hearing you have to 

Erin: trust yourself. Yeah. The message though, like as a kid that I got, like at church, was that the heart is desperately wicked. That's what we at least... Fuck that! I know, like the heart is deceitful is the word I think that was used.

And meaning like, you can't trust. Your heart, like what we were talking about, we can't always trust 

Josh: our beliefs. I didn't have that problem because I didn't believe that. And we just struggle 

Erin: with two different things. So what's the difference then between having that non judgmental discernment over which, thoughts or beliefs to identify with? 

Josh: That feels, But I think beliefs are irrelevant until you fully know yourself. just have to like sit with yourself. Investigate everything that comes up.

You're not putting right or wrong to anything that comes up. You're just attempting to eliminate all of the ideologies and the associations with the external world are completely irrelevant. To your conscious, to your inner knowing, they all are, it's just like bioenergetics [00:46:00] with peeling back the layers of the onion.

You're having to peel back years and years of absorption conditioning from external factors to get to who you authentically are. And once you get to who you are, authentically are nobody. Has any say in that. and knowing your inner knowing is your birthright. And I think that. In almost every single way, that's why we're here. So 

Erin: what's the map to get there? 

Josh: That's you not trusting yourself. I 

Erin: know. It's just the urge in me is to say, Okay, great.

I would love to do 

Josh: that. Who can tell me how to do it? You're not trusting 

Erin: yourself. I know. Yep. 

Josh: There it is. And for some people, that's it. For some people, they're super scared of what they're gonna find. Yeah. I think many people are scared they're not gonna find anything. Yeah. But, joke's on you, kid.

Like magic is there it is. Yeah, you and it doesn't happen in a week like this for me this journey of Getting to myself. Genuinely I think that I would say I Confidently know my inner knowing and feel its presence and [00:47:00] have stripped away everything in the past eight months So two and a half years of work three up till now of me pulling back layer after layer of And sure, starting to have ideas and beliefs of okay, I stripped away everything.

I think I believe this. And then recognizing that, oh shit. That's an external influence that I just pulled there. Okay. Got to unwind that a little bit more. Yeah. Being authentically you with you is the only way you're going to find the magic. 

Erin: Yeah. And like you said, it's the point, like, why else are we here?

Oh, 

Josh: I genuinely believe that's the quote unquote people that are awake. It's just them being so safe and so confident within themselves. That nothing externally is influencing them in a drastic way. I get things every single day that come in and I feel them. I get nervous. I get self conscious. I have body image issues.

Like those things don't just disappear, but I could sit for 10 minutes and beat the shit out of that and find my inner knowing again. 

Erin: Is it beat the shit out of that or love that [00:48:00] so hard that it bubbles 

Josh: away? No, I mean like beat it as in like I win. Not like punching it in the face. Yeah, I think that all of it is love.

All of it is peace. All of it is joy. All of it is safety and security and Authenticity that is my birthright to know that fully Jesus said that too. FYI I'm sure he was just awake. Exactly. 

Erin: That's what I'm saying, 

Josh: Only I can do that, and nobody can tell me how I should do it. And people that tell you how you should do it, run.

Especially 

Erin: if they say... Stay away from them. Especially if they say you have to do it this way or my way or within this religion or that. I pull 

Josh: cards. Uh Huh. I think there was even like this conversation between you and I of like you don't pull cards because you don't want to lean on it too 

Erin: much.

It's more so I like to give myself time and space to integrate it because if I pull a card every day, it starts to feel watered down. Totally. 

Josh: That totally makes sense. I'm at a point now I'm not pulling full tarot reads. I'm doing that like once a month, but I'll pull an Oracle card in the morning to kind of set my [00:49:00] intention for my meditation.

I'm not relying on the Oracle card to tell me anything. Yeah. I genuinely feel things in my fingers when I'm hovering over the cards, call me crazy. I don't even care. I'll pick that. And I genuinely believe that it's just my inner knowing connecting with the outside world to continue to give me exactly what I need.

I'm not relying on the cards. I don't have to pull a card every single day if I don't want to. the card is used. Out of excitement to tap into myself. 

Erin: Yeah. That's the difference. You're not looking for it to solve your, it won't. Yeah. 

Josh: I know it won't. Yeah. I know the answers are within. So when I pull that card, it's like, all right, let me tap in to that idea.

Within myself and see what I find. Yeah. 

Erin: Yeah. And as a practitioner, a person that works with a lot of chronically ill people. And we talk about this all the time. There's certain people where I just want to like shake them and help them to understand this. Yeah. It's just almost funny to me now because it's like, of course I can't choose something for somebody else, especially when I'm not choosing it for myself because[00:50:00] that's the only way I think to raise the collective consciousness or help people to choose these things for themselves.

The only way to even remotely contribute to that is to do the work yourself and then people see it, right? Yeah, 

Josh: you can encourage it all day long. But. Every single person's got to make the choice 

Erin: themselves. Yeah, but you're a walking kind of testimony to it that it works and that it can heal mind, body, and soul.

Yes, 

Josh: and I see so many people in the same position as me. Many people have stories like mine, but many people are so Safe with their inner knowing that I mean, they are way more vibrant than I am. They just like glow. They freaking are Tinkerbell, just like floating around the world. It's wild.

And you just look at them and you're like, wow, I have a lot of work to still do. And to me at this point, that is so exciting. The thing I want to know the most is my inner self. Yeah. Genuinely. I care about you and I want to know you authentically and fully. 10 out of 10 times, the most excited thing in this life is [00:51:00] me totally connecting with my inner self and allowing that joy and peace and excitement and security just ooze out of me to live life fully and how I believe we were intended to live.

Because if I don't feel that safety, how am I going to feel that with anybody else? Yeah, you're not you're gonna have that's the walls that people put up The walls are in themselves and then they're protecting themselves from others because they can't eat they're protecting themselves from themselves.

Yeah So as a husband as a father as a friend as a human being living on this floating rock The best thing that I can do for humanity Is to fully know myself and then allow that to be represented. However, it's chosen to be represented and it'll take care of the energies on itself. Yup.

Boom. Done. Roasted. What I will say, as an encouragement, is to just begin sitting with yourself. 

Erin: That feels so lackluster. Yeah. It, I know. I read something the other day that was like, If your healing journey feels boring, you're doing it right. I totally agree. Because so [00:52:00] often people are like, let me grab a million different tools and start them all this week, and then none of them are helping yet, so I'm gonna next week start a different tool, and then none of those are working yet, so next month I'm gonna do a different tool, and 

Josh: it's...

That's the majority of people on a healing 

Erin: journey. Everybody's just grasping at straws. 

Josh: Yeah, they're flailing. That's exactly how I was.

Erin: So if it feels boring, you may be doing it just right. Totally. 

Josh: And remember that this shit takes time. Yeah. you're not just going to like tap into yourself and be like, Oh, there 

Erin: you are.

Yeah. Although sometimes we do have these kind of moments, whether it is. I don't know, sometimes source I feel like just comes in and I totally 

Josh: agree with that. But being able to tap into that at will, you have to get through all of the layers. because of external influence, constantly there's just going to be layers added onto that.

Freaking shamans or something. are just like semi immune to it, but I still think that on a daily basis, they have to work through it. They just dedicated their lives to working 

Erin: through it., the more you tap in, the more connected you feel, because you have [00:53:00] this realization that we're all just little God fractals.

We're all connected. In some ways, it's almost more challenging because we were talking about this the other day we can, , almost feel the dense... like war energy that's happening right now in parts of the world because of the connectedness it requires like even extra devotion to yourself and self care and being mindful about 

Josh: Yeah.

I mean, That was happening. I went on a trip and I came back and I felt my energy was so stuck and I felt so much dark energy while I was away and it was nasty. I had to come back and go deep to release all of that. That's going to happen in life, but you have to come back to yourself in order to release it, visualize it, meditate on it, do whatever, follow guided meditations even for a while.

You have to be careful not to put the power in the guide. Sure. But start somewhere and find solitude and be patient because it ain't gonna end. 

Erin: Yeah. As long as you're living. There's gonna be, yeah, things coming into your path. [00:54:00] This was good. I've got some food for thought. Sweet. Maybe not thought, I've got some food for heart, I don't know how you say it.

Chicken soup for the soul? Yes. But not soup, because Tying 

Josh: in the front half of the episode with the back half of the episode. Chicken soup for the soul. Love you, kid. Love you. I know I say this all the time, but people random people DM me It's great. I love that DM me if you're feeling discouraged on this Yeah, because I mean I feel like I encourage you a lot.

Yeah, 

Erin: you do you just honestly you encourage me by doing Yeah, like you are doing the work and therefore I'm seeing the benefit in your life and how Important it is and worthwhile. It is. 

Josh: Yeah, it's worth it. Y'all people are texting me with questions. DM me with questions. Sometimes I don't have the answers, but I can at least encourage and empower you with some of the answers.

Somebody texted me yesterday about a question about meditation. And I was like, I'm not going to answer that for you. Like you got to figure that shit out yourself, but here's some things to maybe consider. To figure it out. Yeah. Somebody DM'd me uh, [00:55:00] yesterday. Yeah, yesterday. Where they were like, I feel so off today.

What do you do when there's days where you just feel like your brain's not functioning right, you're in brain fog, you energetically feel off? And I was like, There are 3000 playlists on Spotify with every type of Hertz you could imagine. I'm not saying go sit in it for an hour, like just reset. Take five minutes, listen to a single song of 432 Hertz twice and see what it does to your body.

If you feel the jitters, if you feel totally dysregulated. Put that fucking music on in a background all day. It's not distracting. You don't even have to put it on a high, just allow yourself to tap into the energy that you have. It's there. Yeah. The energy is there. You have those frequencies inside of you, whether you're feeling them or not.

Yeah. You gotta. 

Erin: Just empower yourself. And I feel like going outside also is a really simple one. 

Josh: Yeah, duh like, come on, go outside. 

Erin: Go outside, put your feet on the ground connect with those frequencies. Yeah, but like, 

Josh: if you're working or, honestly, resets are game [00:56:00] changers, just like we encourage with our kids.

Hey, I see that you are totally dysregulated. You want to take some breaths? Like, why don't we fucking do that for ourselves? Yeah, do you want to count to ten? Yeah, like why don't we do that for ourselves? 

Erin: Yep, I was even thinking about this morning about I work with kids often And so when I'm talking with their parents generally, it's the mom Like a lot of these moms have a frantic energy around finding healing for their kids reasonably so like it's distressing and sure really I 

Josh: mean it's dysregulating 

Erin: for them to exactly but even if you don't have space in your life to do any of the modality like even if you just don't Have the space in your life to cook whole foods for your family Like there's people that just don't have space in their life for that you are gonna gift your child better outcomes by regulating your own self a hundred nervous system Because that allows for secure attachment with your child, which is correlated with so many better outcomes.

You're modeling to your kid how to regulate their nervous system. Yes. That's correlated with all sorts of positive outcomes. So I don't know. I just feel like the best place to start is with yourself, [00:57:00] regardless of the scenario. And obviously I'm preaching to myself too. 

Josh: There you go. This was good.

So it's good. I love you. Love you too. Thanks for listening to y'all. 

Erin: Bye. Stay open. Bye.