Josh: [00:00:00] Hi, everybody. What 

it do, 

Erin: baby boo? How's it going? What's playing 

Josh: you up this week, man? The way forward. Young Pueblo. Oh yeah. Such a good book just came out. It's really, out young Pueblo. 

Erin: It's like 

Josh: part of our morning 

Erin: ritual. It's really good.

Soup is also lighting you up. No, 

Josh: not, nope. Out of spite Soup is drowning 

me. . 

Erin: Out of spite. I've soup like three times this week. 

Josh: It's 

Erin: been great. Legit. 

Josh: I think we've had it three nights. We have, so there we have it. Internet had a little thing with that. It was so funny because so many men, Slid into my DMS and was like, soup's terrible. I was like, ah, no. I know. And then all these women slid in and they were like, I love slurping. I love Bob and I love everything about soup. And I was like, damn, so this might be a gender thing. What kind of 

Erin: women are following you that, talk like that?

Josh: I don't know. That's what I want to know. What if they all did sound like that? Anyways, we did live in Nashville for a while. We did. but yeah, young Pueblo always light me up. Shout out. What's lighting you up? 

Erin: Well, You kind of stole mine. I was going to say that book as well, but also homemade marshmallows.

I've been my jam [00:01:00] recently. have been. I just keep making them. They have been, they're so good. I 

Josh: don't know. They are pretty good, especially in molds. In 

Erin: molds. Oh. They're different 

shapes. 

I 

Josh: didn't. They come out you're like, oh, that's 

Erin: fun. Yeah, I tried to do them in molds, but it actually didn't work well, so. Well.

Josh: It's the mold's fault.

Erin: It's not yours. Thanks. 

Josh: How are you otherwise? I'm pretty good. I've had this lump in my throat for the past couple of weeks, which has been interesting. Tell us more. That's about it. Kind of feels like I have a pill stuck in my throat a little bit. It, uh. can tend to be a babesia symptom, so I'm trying to like, just stay calm, we have the tools.

Oh, we do. Uh, remain

Erin: calm.

We 

Josh: have the tools. Oh, we do. you can't help but have some, Triggering trauma come up when you have symptoms that are so specific like that. They're It's like shit, but it comes and goes, it's not constant. It's also not severe. Like I've definitely had it really, really bad. It could be something completely different.

Totally. We started running again and it's been great, but it did start around that too. So I'm wondering if it's just like me [00:02:00] sucking wind or something. I don't know. So it could be that could be allergies. I have no idea, even just before this podcast, we were talking about it, I think I didn't necessarily process that it could be scary.

I keep telling myself I'm not scared or anything, but maybe I am deep down. Maybe I just have to acknowledge 

Erin: that. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the fact that certain symptoms are linked with your, previous experience and you don't have to be so stoic that you don't even think those thoughts, you know, like that is just unrealistic, but it doesn't mean that you're.

Yeah living in fear, so 

Josh: the other interesting piece to all this is literally everything else. I feel fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. If I didn't have this lump in my throat, I would argue that I feel the best I've felt 

Erin: ever. Yeah. For those who are not familiar with Babija, I think we've talked about it on here before, but it's one of the co infections of Lyme. It's a, yeah. teeny tiny little parasite, and it lives inside red blood cells, but it has all these, very kind of specific symptoms. It's different for every person, but that kind of fullness or like a lump in the throat feeling is one of them.

Air hunger is one of them. 

Josh: [00:03:00] Haven't felt that. That's good. I mean, we're running and I feel totally 

Erin: fine. It has kind of a cyclical nature. So to flare up every so often especially around full moons. Well, We're 

Josh: at 

Erin: like a half moon. I checked. Yeah. who knows? We did send in a scan for 

Josh: Josh.

I sure did. I was like, Oh, yep. Send it in. I've been pretty relaxed with that. And I've been curious just cause I've had like plant medicine journey and things like that. Oh, my nervous system feels like it's. So down, which is is fantastic. I'm super relaxed. I'm super full of gratitude. So yeah, I've been like, I'm done with this.

Like I'm good. This popped up and I was like, yep, time to send one in. So we have the tools. I'm not worried about that. I believe in it so much. And I believe in myself so much this isn't going to even be a hurdle. But yeah. The symptom coming up brings on memories of the past that were very much not fun.

Yeah. But overall, I feel fantastic. I just have a lump in my throat. 

Erin: Are you comfortable talking about your, the past life stuff that's been coming up? Yeah. Talk to us more about that. 

Josh: So I had something come up last week where [00:04:00] I had this realization that I believe I was imprisoned in the past. And that's something that I've kind of oddly dealt with over my life, not being like imprisoned, but feeling like I've been in bondage or contained around the experiences that I have.

Erin: with being sick and, or what? 

Josh: With everything from being sick to kind of like this awakening period that I've had to quote unquote gifts that I feel like I've been receiving recently. And I get scared and it's not anxiety, like it's gonna taken away from me. It's just like, do I have fear inside 

Erin: of all this?

Around the new things that you're experiencing, like seeing things, hearing things, 

Josh: sensing things. Exactly. And last week I was like in a meditative state and I was really deep and I had this realization that I think I was in a past life imprisoned for exactly what moving into right now. And it feels like that fear has been amping up the past couple of months.

And it's not like debilitating or [00:05:00] anything and it's not even a fear that I almost can fully associate That's the weird part. It's a, an emotion that I feel and I can identify it and can be curious about it, but it doesn't take over in any way. So yeah, I just have been super curious about that. We're talking to, what would you call her?

Uh, lightworker or something? Yeah, tomorrow. I'm I'm super stoked about 

it. Ancestral healer. 

Erin: Yeah, I'm very curious 

about that conversation. A 

Josh: couple past life things have come up in the past couple months. A couple times in my breathwork session, I originally had thought it was me seeing Zoe. just at like 30 years.

And then over time I realized that it was actually, I feel like it was me in a past life and I was like a good spirit and there was a bad spirit and this lady was in a meditative state, on a patio over a vineyard. It was very specific. And the more I with it, the more I was like, that was more of a connection.

Because immediately I thought it was you. Sure. And I was like, oh no, this is scary. And then I was like, oh, it must be Zoe. But the connection felt like it wasn't [00:06:00] anybody but me. Why? And so, yeah, that was another one that came up. Who knows? When we talked to the lightworker yesterday, she was just talking about how sometimes that happens when you're ready to clear.

And that you're moving into this kind of next phase of your gifts. Yeah, I'm excited to kind of navigate through that. I heard in my meditation, was it yesterday or the day before, to stop resisting. And maybe I'm just resisting out of fear. I don't know, but I'm excited to not. So hopefully this is the first step in that.

Yeah. 

Erin: I'm so excited. I just love having conversations with people like this that are like really just tapped into something otherworldly. 

Yeah, 

Josh: I 

mean, she read you like a book yesterday. It was hysterical. You kind of were like all over the place with your words. Huh. And not stuttering, but like, uh, uh, uh, and then she like just like word vomited exactly who you were. Yeah. And I'm like, okay. 

Erin: She stepped in. Yeah. Yeah. So that'll be fun. I'm excited. We're both going to have sessions with her. 

Josh: We'll let you know how it goes. Yeah, maybe we'll 

Erin: have her on. How you doing? Good. I mean, we had like [00:07:00] a giant, not argument, but just a passionate.

It a passionate conversation conversation a couple days ago, just relating to. our dynamics and my inability to change. 

Josh: Tendency to avoid. 

Erin: Yeah, tendency to avoid. That's more accurate. I just have this like deep seated avoidance tendency that I don't even know what I'm avoiding usually and why, but it kind of comes on sneaky and then takes over my life and then our lives.

So I'm just trying to be more aware of when that's happening and kind of stopping 

Josh: it. Yeah, I mean, for the past 10 years, we've had this conversation quarterly. So we're kind of pros at it by this point, but you're growing so much that there's so much more awareness inside of the conversations. So when I do bring things up, it feels way less like I'm one catching you off guard and then two, you're going on the defense to just throw daggers at 

Erin: me.

Our arguments now, I mean, it still takes the out of me. Like, I will literally go take a nap anytime we have a Conflict is in your specialty. No, it's not my favorite, [00:08:00] but the fact that I can tolerate it and generally we can both remain like level headed and not be throwing swords at each other, like verbal, daggers, we actually get somewhere.

Josh: I was about to say, our conversations are 

really productive. I 

Erin: know, it's so nice. I mean, early on us, it was just like. We both had our defenses up. Yeah. 

Josh: Just 

arrows 

Erin: going back and forth. Ego, it's like ego versus ego. And of course that still happens from time to time, but for the most part, we're able to actually hear each other and I can tolerate the very uncomfortable for me.

Josh: I was about to say, Aaron 

thinks it's very uncomfortable and me it feels like a natural state of growth. 

Erin: Yeah, I know. And I'm like, I'm getting more towards that side of the spectrum. But I mean, for so long, I couldn't even in the room. Like I would have to leave if it got heated for more than five minutes, I'd be like, I need a break.

Now I can sit in it. We can dish it out and we can figure it out and then I go take a nap. Yes. Literally, my body is like, and we're out. Yeah. so I'm still processing that. I'm thinking a [00:09:00] lot about change and why it's so hard for myself and for all the people that I work with. So that's kind of what I want to talk about today.

And I wanted to, if it's okay, read excerpt of one of these poems from Young Pueblo. It's a long one, so I don't want to read the whole thing, but What's it called? It's called On 

Josh: Control. I've been sending this to like, everybody. It's so good. People will be, like, DMing me or texting me. I'll be like, just read this.

Just read this. I think I've read it. I'm not joking to you. Hundreds. Yeah. Of times in the past week. 

Erin: The whole premise of the poem, again, I'm not going to read the whole thing because it's kind of long, but The whole premise is embracing change and letting go of control easier said than done, of course, but I wanted to read the first little bit here about change.

Uh, He says, if you were to take a deeper look at the foundation of nature, you would see that at its creative core. There is the swift flow of movement particles whizzing by at rapid speeds and interacting in different combinations, temporary connections, breaking and forming. All that we know in daily life is animated by the undercurrent of change.

[00:10:00] Change creates the space where mind and matter come together to construct the illusion of self. It allows for endless possibilities and ensures the deterioration of each new combination. Nature exists in the form of a river to fight this never ending flow is to cause ourselves heartache and stress. So, I don't know why we all desperately fight change, like as if it's even possible to do so.

Like change is in our structure, it's in our makeup, it's the way that the world is constant change. in order to feel like we have some bit agency over What feels like chaos when really it's organized chaos, right? It's like this coherence things are moving and changing But that doesn't mean it's chaos.

It's just shifting in the sort of like waveforms I don't know. That's how I like to think about it now but when it starts to feel like chaos and not coherence we try to Control it. We could try to predict it. We try to know it all he goes on to say that the only parts of reality that we have power over our actions and the habits that those actions [00:11:00] create to think that we can manipulate all of reality is a delusion. And indeed it is. It is. So then he goes on to talk about like flowing with change instead of fearing and fighting it.

And then the last line is the deepest healing and delight. Arise from letting go and that is wildly true. But I've just been investigating like the kind of which this is funny because I understand it's coming from a place of control, but I want to understand the neuro chemistry behind change and why it's so freaking hard to.

initiate and to sustain in our lives. So we'll, I mean, we'll dive into more of it. I don't know if you have anything 

Josh: It's interesting because I almost feel like change is where I thrive, but is that also a level of control? Does it feel like in the present I'm out of control, so I need change to feel like I am in control? I don't know. I've never investigated that, but change to me excites me, motivates me, gives me a shot of dopamine.

I mean, like change from even rearranging a room to we've moved so [00:12:00] many times we can't even count. All of that has been incredibly exciting to me. if things get stagnant for too long. I start to feel like there's stagnant water inside of me. I don't know if that's a level of control where I need a little bit of change or not.

I don't know. I've never thought about it. That's 

Erin: interesting. That's like a paradox that I've not considered. 

Josh: I mean, in my life, there are definitely things that I sit in comfort and I mean, I'm going through a pretty huge transition right now that has required me to take steps in gigantuous change. And yeah, that's super scary and it's out of the norm and definitely of my comfort zone, but.

I don't fear it at all. It excites me and invigorates me, but I should have done it like two years ago. So I think there's right places and right times for change, but to be able to fully release all control and just go into the trust and literally be like the river, I think is where the freedom's at.

And I think. So regardless of if you're the change or if you're [00:13:00] allowing life to just change when it's needed, just like the seasons, then I think there it is. I just answered my, I just figured it out. So yeah, I am controlling inside the change when I forced to change when it shouldn't change.

But when I release all control and allow changes to happen, there's a really beautiful aspect to it. Just like the leaves changing to beautiful colors and then falling. 

Erin: Yeah, when I think about and I've been just reading again, I've been reading Habits. You've been reading? Oh, who, me?

Josh: What? You learning? 

Erin: Get out of here. Get out of here. And listening to a lot of Joe Dispenza's stuff About how change happens in the brain and like neurochemically It's honestly, it's given me a lot of grace, for myself not that I'm like making excuses because my nervous system has evolved this way, I'm just gonna never change, you know, that's not, what I mean, but it has given me a little bit of grace and understanding as to why it is so hard to change, If you think about the way that our nervous systems have evolved, it's all about survival, right?

[00:14:00] Survival and safety, like our brains and our nervous systems are there to keep us alive and to replicate and keep our species alive. So we're driven by the survival mechanisms we want to eat. We want to be safe from predators. We want to reproduce like we need water. We need food. So those are like the basic things that our nervous system is driven by.

But the way that our modern world is set up, and all of those things are pretty like immediate gratification. Like we find food we eat. There's that instant gratification or, yeah, you get the point. But now you didn't want to talk about sex. I sure didn't. 

Josh: Instant gratification. I can see your brain crumbling.

I regret. 

Erin: But now in the modern world, we have. This setup where the instant gratification is what's like killing us all. It's like the cigarettes we get all these instant gratifications, but actually it's, it's impacting our survival in a negative way.

And most of the things that would benefit us physiologically or even emotionally and [00:15:00] from like a nervous system perspective, those things that would benefit us often have a delayed gratification, which it's just not. How our brains are set up and so it's really hard to get over that hump.

Yeah whether that's going to the gym or eating whole foods or Meditating like all of these things do not intrinsically have an immediate gratification or reward So I go to the gym Two times I'm not gonna be fit right, or I meditate once I'm not gonna have a calm mind after one sure Time doing a meditation.

So it's a matter of Repetition and doing them over and over again before you really see the reward. And in that way, I was kind of like, okay, I'm just human. That's just the way that my body and brain are wired and yet I'm human and therefore I have this like conscious ability to do it different and figure it out and to not be satisfied with it.

Just being stuck and repeating the same patterns that I know are not beneficial [00:16:00] to me, to the people around me, to the world at large. Repeating those habits and those patterns day after day. Like the scariest thing to me, I was just journaling about this morning The avoidance feels fear based like it feels oh, yeah, I'm afraid to look at something Who knows what it is why it is that way?

But I'm afraid of something exactly and I know I'm starting to dig up those things those Deep seated like beliefs and such but what's scarier to me than making eye contact with whatever it is that I'm avoiding is living 70 80 years Of this same repeated cycle over and over again to where I get to the end of my life, and I realized I've not lived up to my potential.

I only barely scraped the surface of what was really meant for me. It's your blocker. That's terrifying, though. That's more scary to me than not looking at whatever it is in the eye. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm stepping into this new season of making more eye contact

That's incredible. 

Josh: Yeah. That's even worthy of celebration. Yeah. ' cause wasn't the case for a lot of [00:17:00] years, at least since I've known you. . That's awesome. Okay So I don't have any like this is I don't have an answer to the question I'm about to ask. Everything that you just said feels good, there are inevitably to be answers scientifically backed answers from a biological and chemical perspective, and you were saying how you want to try to figure out on a biological perspective.

Why it's so hard to change does receiving that information, especially from like external sources feel like a level of control in understanding the behavior of change instead of just freely releasing all of it and going within to then investigate how you intuitively understand your version of how you receive.

Flow and change. 

Erin: Yeah. I mean, I think it all comes down to intention. And if, my intention is to know everything, understand everything, control everything by learning this stuff, then that's just going to keep me exactly where I 

Josh: am. 

Erin: Yes. That's 

Josh: kind of, that was the only answer that I knew out 

Erin: of that question. If my [00:18:00] intention is to find the roadmap, is what it feels like, I'm trying to figure out the roadmap inward, because it's all.

Lovely what you say about just release it all and go inward. Yeah. That doesn't mean anything to me on a practical level. For sure. Most days. Okay, I'm just gonna sit there and think about my insides? I don't, I just, that doesn't mean anything to me yet. And, I mean, it does to some level.

But I think a lot of people listening are probably like, Oh what the fuck sure. does that look like? For me it's kind of mapping out, And utilizing mind, body, and soul to all get there. Exactly. Because those are all parts of me. Yep. That's really what I'm interested in figuring out, and with the intention of

finding my way inside. 

Josh: Got it. I mean, it was just a question I was curious about. Yeah, no, 

Erin: I heard Joe, daddy, Joe, daddy, Joe, we Joe dispense a daddy Joe. I heard daddy Joe say in a talk he was giving. We have 60 to 70 thousand thoughts per day. Yes. And I think most people generally would acknowledge that our thoughts [00:19:00] impact our reality to some degree. Now, I think we all believe that at varying, maybe, I don't know, it's a sliding scale, maybe, how much we believe that impacts our reality.

Some people think it creates a hundred percent of our reality, like we bring in everything That's in our life. Yeah. But like 

Josh: 98 percent of them aren't 

Erin: new, right? 90 percent of our thoughts, those 60 to 70, 000 thoughts are the exact same thought that we had the day before, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before.

And it makes sense because like I said, we're wired for survival and our brains are really wired for efficiency. And so these Thoughts, these habitual choices and actions that we take every day, like the way that we silence our alarm in the morning and roll out of bed and go to the bathroom and brush our teeth.

Like these are things that are completely mindless. We do them every single day. Automated. Yeah. And so our brain isn't having to actually make. Decisions because imagine making all of those decisions over and over every single day, like really consciously. Yeah, that would be a lot for sure for the brain.

So that's why we have these sort of, [00:20:00] the ruts in the road. Of our brain. It's like these neural pathways that have fired together day after day after day. And so they wire together. And so there's these just very quick neural pathways are already formed. We don't have to think about it.

It's subconscious, which is great for brushing our teeth and going to the bathroom. But what happens if those

neural pathways are really negative, thought pathways are really negative? I'm not worthy or I can't do hard things or there's a million different pathways that we can, ingrain in the brain, but also like our habits. So whether that's, smoking or doing things that we know are negatively impacting our health.

But if we are just stuck in that. Kind of rut that pathway. It becomes difficult to overcome it because it's subconscious. Like we have to start kind of unwinding those, pathways in the brain.

And so in a lot of ways are personality, our thoughts, our emotions, our actions, our behaviors, like most people would consider that our unique personality, right?

In a lot of ways, our personalities are creating our [00:21:00] reality. And so in order to change my reality, which is kind of what I'm looking for, right? I have to almost change my personality. Otherwise, if I try to change my reality with the same personality that I came to this situation with.

It's not gonna change like it's just the same loop. 

How would you 

Josh: define personality? 

Erin: What I used to think was a box that I couldn't come out of. I don't know, like we talk about like the Enneagram and all the different personality typing and tests and it's like tendencies that you, it almost feels like you're born 

Josh: with.

those feel like characteristics. your character is something that you're going to have. It's part of like your consciousness, but your personality is based on external that morph you into be what is the safest. 

Erin: Yeah. And I'm learning now that probably the vast majority of my personality and probably a lot of people is just like conditioning.

It's just social programs that we've been given by our parents and by our communities and by the society at 

Josh: large. I think that's the fun part. Conversation around authentically, unapologetically you. [00:22:00] Yeah. It's kind of tapping back into all of your characteristics to let your personality blossom who you actually are instead of who everyone wanted you to be.

Erin: And that's honestly why I think, people... From the outside looking in would say to me what do you mean you have a problem with change? Like you're completely different than you were three years five years ago, seven years ago. Truly, I mean, like unrecognizable to the person I was seven, years ago.

And that is. Really because I think I've started to strip away some of what I thought was personality, but really is just conditioning. I mean, I still have plenty of layers to peel back, but, the good girl conditioning. We talked about that the other day, like how I have this deep desire to just be good.

A good 

Josh: girl. Yeah. I mean, that was part of our conversation. Like, why do you do this? I just want to be good. Yeah. And I'm like, Yeah, what 

is 

Erin: that? Exactly. And it's always been defined by other people. What is good? And that's the trap that we fall into. Because a lot of these things may be Yeah.

 Really true, [00:23:00] intrinsic desires to like what I would call now elevate the consciousness, the collective consciousness like that is, in my opinion, good, a worthy, goal or 

Josh: endeavor. I 

mean, the action that we were talking about was at a baseline defined as very good. I mean, most of it was generosity but it was the intention of.

Why to be generous is really where the conversation led. So it's super interesting to kind of pull the layers back to really establish, okay, why are you being called to do this action? Is it just your desire to be good? And then Who is defining that right?

Erin: And another kind of disorienting piece of this all is you and I will often talk through like when I'm lacking motivation or action in my life, like when I feel really stuck and stagnant and slothful, for lack of a better word, we're both like, what was I doing back when? I mean, I was like, Getting straight A's in college, training for marathons, volunteering, working through college, like all of these things.

Josh: Dating this 

hot 

Erin: boy, this muffin across [00:24:00] from me, but I did not lack motivation in that season of my life. I mean, there were definitely times where I would like veg for a whole day or whatever, but I was hustling parts of that. I admire and I want more of again in my life, like the motivation. But when I look back and I'm like, okay, so what was I doing then?

And how can I get that now? It was externally driven. For sure. I wanted the straight A's so mom and dad would be proud. I wanted to volunteer so everyone would see what a virtuous person I was. I wanted to work so that it would look good on my resume. Like all these things were externally driven.

I wanted to run a marathon to be completely fucking honest because I had just gotten dumped by my boyfriend who was a runner. There was so many things then that were externally motivating me to quote be good. Whatever that looked like in my life. 

Josh: Which isn't bad, but it's unfulfilling. 

Yes.

Erin: And I don't want it to be my motivation anymore. Yes. Is the ultimate underpinning here. How do I move myself toward action out of a place of devotion to [00:25:00] myself and love for myself and for the world, rather than This good girl, people pleasing mentality. And I haven't quite figured that out yet, because it felt like I had to kind of, detach from that, and, therefore I lost that kind of drive, the fire under my ass.

Yeah, I don't know. It's an interesting kind of place that 

Josh: I'm at. Yeah. 

I mean, you're at a pivotal place of growth, right? you're aware enough to be at the fork in the road to make the decision on whether you want to continue down the path you've always gone down, or if you want to take the right hand turn and move into a season of growth, which is change.

And potentially uncontrollable because you have no idea what's down that path. 

Erin: I've found a few things about change and how to initiate it, first of all, I think it's important to be able to identify when your nervous system, like what your nervous system is doing and when, because a lot of us.

Just are completely unaware that we're living stuck in that cortisol, adrenaline, norepi, norepi, shitshow cycle. Like, If we're stuck there and [00:26:00] we're constantly getting stress hormones, that's just the firing and the wiring that's happening over and over again. So the first step is just identifying okay, what state am I in? Am I like. Always buzzing with whether that's like anxiety or hurriedness or rushing or, defensiveness is another one.

That's kind of my telltale sign. when I'm defensive, it feels always justified. But even the. yeah. Verbage of it, I'm on defense. I'm defending myself against whether it's just an argument or whatever. But that's my nervous system is putting up guard against something.

I mean, there's all sorts of different ways that you can kind of flag yourself for knowing when you're in that. fight or flight or freeze. So identifying those times is probably the first step.

Was there a time early on in your chronic illness, that you realized that your nervous system was constantly firing? 

Josh: Oh, yeah. I mean, fairly quickly, that's the first thing you find when you're in chronic illness. So many will blame your chronic illness on your nervous system being on, and that is such a hot topic right now.

Everyone's talking about nervous system activation. Yeah, I [00:27:00] was very well aware of it. I think it was finding the right modalities that helped me turn it off that mattered more than anything else. And that takes time. Each person's nervous system's reacting in different ways. From the past, like childhood traumas all the way up to the present of whatever you've dealt with thus far.

I mean, work triggered me and still does every now and then. And so having the right tools to be able to calm myself down or recognize or identify how my body feels is. Kind of the tools to help navigate through bringing your nervous system back to a leveled state. I think there are certain things that helped a ton where I can constantly feel like my nervous system is deactivated in the right ways.

But still, I mean, yesterday I had a call that I felt like a zing in my body and my nervous system was activated. And I was like, sweet I'm very well aware that this is causing me stress. I need to, when this is through, just... Take a moment to breathe, to meditate, to ground, whatever works. the more practice you have in that, the faster you're going to be able to bring your [00:28:00] nervous system back down.

But it takes a long time, at least in my experience, to shut the nervous system off in the appropriate ways, because it's when it's been on for years or your entire life, if you're constantly in that fight or flight, it doesn't remember. What off feels like, and you almost have to go through like a detox period of, okay, it's gradually turning off, but it's constantly looking for something turn on.

Yeah, 

Erin: that hyper vigilance. It's just your brain trying to keep you safe because yikes, you've been running for years from whatever predator was chasing 

Josh: you. So I think that's what adrenal fatigue is. What really started us down the path of, wow, maybe not my nervous system is. That shit crazy. But yeah, it takes time.

Yeah. 

Erin: And. It takes time because those ruts in the brain are deep and we've got to rewire them. I do 

Josh: think that there's faster ways to do it now on the other side. Oh, I just think like alternative medicine, plant medicine, even I have heard Huge success stories [00:29:00] with, being in darkness for a week and then rebirthing, they call it interesting.

Yeah. Aaron Rodgers just did it in the off season to kind of decide whether or not he was gonna stay in football. But I've. Now, I've done a decent amount of research with dark therapy where it is just pitch black 

Erin: and there's no sound either, right? Like it's sensory 

deprivation. 

Josh: Yeah, yeah,

Yeah.

You are just in a blacked out room for four to seven days. I think, Vipassana. silent meditation for a week also can that. It kind of like forces you to just eliminate all external factors that are infiltrating your nervous system to allow you recalibrate lot faster. ayahuasca for sure can do that.

I just chose not to do that partially because I didn't know. I probably would have tried all three of those years ago if I would have known that it would have impacted my nervous system as much as it can. So for me, it was meditation and awareness and going inward, but I do think there's modalities that could work really well in kind of rebooting the nervous system and [00:30:00] making you realize you have power from within that ignite a new opportunity with your relationship with your nervous system. 

Yeah. 

Erin: Thinking about, so probably not everybody listening to this would go on a, five day silent retreat or sensory deprivation situation, but Pretty much everyone can and I would argue should meditate Yes, you know coming from somebody who has avoided it for a very long time, So I was talking about how our personality shapes our reality, but really it's kind of this like feedback loop where they both are reinforcing each other.

And so when we engage in a daily habit, be it meditation or like for some people cold plunging or whatever it is that is helping to Calm and quiet the mind that reality is kind of reinforcing this new personality Yeah, if that makes sense because every day then that's a new neural pathway that's being laid and the important part really is the frequency of it.

And so that's another thing that I'm learning in relation to change is that

perfection is [00:31:00] really the enemy of 

Josh: Absolutely. You can't be perfect because it changes so much, 

Erin: right? But I am so obsessed with doing things well. And really good or perfect. And you like a road map. But then I don't end up doing it at all is the problem. I get stuck in like the planning, the preparation, understanding phase. And I never actually take the action, which is the most important part for building new neural pathways. If I'm not doing the behavior, the habit, the action over and over again, I don't care how good or well done it is. It can be two minutes of meditation every single day. Yep. Literally, two minutes of meditation every single day is going to lay that neural pathway faster and better than meditating for 30 minutes, four times, I'm cutting myself some slack to just do the behavior.

Even if it's not quote, good, whatever that looks like, we're going to just do it and commit to whatever I know I can actually do so for me kind of like cutting the Meditation at right now. I'm like five minutes or less Otherwise [00:32:00] I can talk myself out of it, Like I don't have ten minutes or I don't want to sit here for ten minutes or whatever five minutes or less right now but I just got to do it every single day Over time, those habits will become habitual, like it will become not a decision so much.

It will just be that neural pathway that's now there, laid, and I don't have to try so hard or work so hard. And then at that point, I can optimize the habit. Like once the habit's established. And I'm no longer having to really overcome this ugh, I have to choose to sit down and do this. then I can optimize it.

I can meditate for 30, 40 minutes. Great. but the place to start is the place that you will actually start. 

Josh: I know I've said that multiple times in the podcast, specifically with healthy habits. Don't start with a goal that you're inevitably going to fail in. Start with something that is guaranteed success and then move from there.

Erin: once the habit is established. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I really am understanding how. Perfection or even greatness is the enemy to good or 

Josh: I think the idea of [00:33:00] perfection is just the perception of all external things you look up to. or Value? So like when the idea of what is perfection? I know it's silly. It's an external 

Erin: factor. Benchmark, I don't know. 

Josh: Yeah. can you determine perfection?

Erin: I mean, in my brain, it's when you get an A plus. 

Josh: Because somebody else has decided that, right? Yeah. What is the educational grading system? 4. 0 is No, it is determined by a group of people of what is good and what is bad. It's all external.

Perfection in and of itself as a comparison. Yeah. It's comparing where you're at to where you think you should be, always. And where you should be is usually external, other people deciding. What perfection should be perfection is irrelevant in 

Erin: growth, but it's a great delaying tactic 

Josh: Regardless of if it's a delaying tactic or it's unhealthy is what it is.

I know I'm No, All I'm saying is the idea of perfection Absolutely crumbles when you start to reconsider that the [00:34:00] only reason perfection exists is because of others Yeah. And it has complete irrelevance to your state of growth as a person. 

Erin: Yeah. I mean, I'm seeing now why I use perfection or this idea of perfection that is really just an illusion.

But I use it to allow myself to just get stuck in the planning or prepping or learning phase and not in the action phase. But that me from changing then, in Atomic Habits, he talks about this college professor who gives an assignment, it was a photography class, and he gives his class an assignment, to take photos, obviously.

But half the class, their assignment was to take one incredible photo and the other half of the class had to submit 25 photos, And he found that the ones that were assigned to the 25 photos, they were the ones that were out there doing and practicing and taking pictures, even if they weren't perfect, they ended up having the most Beautiful, photographs submitted, whereas the other [00:35:00] ones did a whole lot of planning and thinking and scheming and studying.

then they took one mediocre photograph. And so it's just this like visual representation of The growth, the evolution, the change, it all happens in the action phase. It doesn't happen in the planning and the prepping and the scheming and the reading and the learning.

All that stuff can be helpful to kind of fuel your action, but when you're stuck in that kind of like circle of just learning, perfecting. You're not actually doing anything, and then you're not growing and you're not changing. And so I have to really learn to just be okay with doing things imperfectly, but knowing that doing them is the point.

Yeah. Doing them is the learning. Like for me, learning is learning. I need to step into this new phase, which is doing is learning and it's okay to learn as I do. And as I go, it's kind of the whole point. Yeah. But I mean, there's just so many facets of my life where I can see that pattern where I'm just stuck in prep.

Josh: Yeah, that's so fascinating. Now [00:36:00] I'm stuck on the idea of perfection because I think now that I ponder on it even more, I think perfection doesn't exist in human form. Yeah. Yeah. No individual in these like meat sacks are going to have any perfection. Yeah. Perfection exists like in nature and the only reason nature isn't thriving right now is because the imperfection of humans who are striving to find to find their perfections and it's causing our ecosystem to dissolve, The sun comes up and down. That's perfect. It's fully connected to the ecosystem of consciousness. Whatever that is, all of these sources that we all are connected with, just like mycelium just like trees like their leaves falling. Think about the leaves falling, think about the evolution of that.

The leaves change colors, they die and fall. Do you know why that happens? Because the change 

Erin: in sunlight, 

Josh: you know why the trees need to have their leaves fall? It's their own state of fertilization. If the leaves didn't fall right on the roots Trees wouldn't thrive. There wouldn't be a natural [00:37:00] ecosystem of trees.

We blow our leaves away because it doesn't look good on our grass, which most are gas Leaf blowers. So it's just putting pollution into the air. yeah, 

Erin: we override nature again and again and again. Yeah. 

Josh: But you think that perfect life cycle is what makes things thrive. And if we don't allow that ecosystem just to exist and release the ideation of perfection and just look at what is perfect, which is for sure never going to be us.

I think we can learn a lot from 

Erin: Yeah. And just the. The death and rebirth cycle, that is in literally every little part of our universe. I mean, you can see that in so many different, parts of nature, but it's true of us too. It's like we're constantly 

Josh: think of the leaves falling and being your fertilizer, shed whatever is unnecessary and allow that to be your fertilizer for your new phase of growth.

I love 

Erin: that image. And it's. It's making it so that none of that time is wasted. 

Josh: No, and there's so much beauty in that. Those leaves, like the tree isn't [00:38:00] those leaves because it doesn't want it anymore. Yeah, or because they were bad leaves. Yeah. No, there, it was neither good nor bad. It is just the life cycle to continue growth.

Yeah. And if that doesn't happen, growth's not going to happen. Yep. That's it. Have a good day, 

guys. 

Erin: Wow. I'm going to be thinking about that for a long time. 

Josh: Perfection in and of itself is a human construct. 

Erin: Yeah. Nature's not so worried 

Josh: about that. And Not at all. It knows its job.

Erin: And 

it's just doing what it, yeah, what it is made to do. And us humans 

Josh: are coming to 

Erin: fuck it up. I know. Blowing the leaves. Who do we think are? 

Unbelievable.

Josh: So what are next steps for you then? Now you have enough awareness with all of this. Yeah. Now you're understanding the idea of perfection being essentially you stalling. Yeah. Where do you go from here? 

Erin: So I am really focused on using that feedback loop of my actions, my behaviors, my habits, reinforcing this new identity that I believe that I'm stepping into.

That's a truer version of me. so part of that is, just creating new habits, such as [00:39:00] meditating. That's a big one. I just, I know that I've been avoiding it. I've done it here and there. But committing and devoting to that new habit formation is a big one. While also.

Addressing and working through some of the layers of the identity stuff, like those beliefs that are real deep in there, that I am supposed to be a good girl or that if I'm not making everyone happy that I'm somehow not of service to the world or to whatever, there's so many layers in there that I haven't really explored fully yet.

So that's part of it. I'm going to work with that feedback loop, work on both the identity and the habits and so that they're both reinforcing each other. 

Josh: And how to succeed in those is to set goals that you can win in. Yeah. 

Erin: So again, less than five minutes. I'm devoting to meditating He talks about in atomic habits Different ways to kind of support habit formation, and I don't remember all of it off the top of my head now But the stimulus So that's the thing that like makes you think about Performing whatever [00:40:00] action it is that you're hoping to perform i. e. meditation Linking it to another habit that's already established like pouring a cup of coffee or whatever it is for you and then also having some sort of a Immediate reward or gratification for habits that are actually delayed reward.

So like meditation, I'm not going to get an immediate, right? But you can kind of create that whether that is okay. I do my meditation and then I enjoy my cup of coffee and that's like my reward. My little like treat for myself for doing the thing. So those are some things I'm on, but with the identity piece, I'm more excited about that part. I think both are needed and necessary, but, I'm really excited to kind of just like dive into all of that and do a lot of the kind of visualization stuff, the, I don't know, quantum stuff that you've been exploring and working with. Mm hmm. Was listening to Daddy Joe this morning talking about how in certain states of meditation, we all have this energetic field, right?

That's what we're working within with Ruti [00:41:00] too. the size of that field can shift and change depending on your internal state of mind in particular. So when the brain is calm and you've done this certain like coherence techniques, when your brain and your heart are in coherence and you're in that autonomic nervous system state where things are really reorganizing and healing and reconnecting, like when parts of the brains are speaking to each other that have been cut off you actually Become more energy and less particle, less matter, which is insane.

Yeah, the field around you, which is measurable. Like this isn't woo. It's measurable. It goes from, a couple feet, maybe on a good day, to up to like eight feet. Yeah, your energy expands on. So you actually have less. Matter less like 3D stuff about you and more of this like infinite potential stuff, which is wave form Which we could go off on all sorts of tangents.

I would love to nerd out about double slit. experiment and things like that. But talk to us about what that's looked like for you because I think it's [00:42:00] been really important for your change and evolution, kind of working with this concept of quantum and visualization and quantum leaping and all of that stuff.

Yeah. The brain doesn't know the difference. If a thing has really happened or if you've just visualized it and immersed yourself in that experience, And so you're like literally priming yourself. To create that new reality, 

Josh: right? I mean, the toe dipping was mantras.

Where I started to just feel every emotion of what my mantra was. I am healed. My body is healed. What does that feel like? What am I doing? That went into visualizations. I this weird visualization of what freedom looks like to me. And the best to describe the scene that I play over and over and over is kind of like...

When she, in the sound of music is running through the field, dancing, it's kind of a similar scene in my brain, me, just like arms open, completely free, frolicking through the grass. I visualize that all the time. I embrace the emotions that I'm feeling, the gratitude, the happiness, the joy, the authenticity.

All is good in that [00:43:00] scene. Same with like me being by the tree with the, kind of like force field around me, protecting me. That's another place of safety, security, authenticity, no fear, no anxiety. All that I would consider bad is eliminated in those scenes. Then I moved into quantum leaping and quantum leaping is wild.

I'm a very visual person, so I can zoom in and out of things quickly easily. I've always been able to do that. we were looking to build a house and I could like put myself in the kitchen of the blueprint and then pull myself way far back and see a bird's eye view of the house.

That's just something I'm able to do. I do that with quantum leaping. I build out scenarios and go deeper and deeper in to those scenes, essentially living out whatever my intended approach in the quantum leap is. Feeling and identifying every single Sense what I'm smelling, what I'm feeling, what I'm hearing, what I'm seeing, what I'm tasting, everything.

And you fully immerse yourself into the [00:44:00] scene that you're creating. I go into those things with intention. The interesting piece is now when I quantum leap, it feels like I'm bouncing places to get to the place I need to be. So I'm not like, Oh, I want to go to Italy. It's interesting. I feel like my mind is bouncing through scenes.

That don't feel like they're my own and then I'll get to a place where the emotions that I'm intending for exist and that's where I land and then I just go into it. It may be a place at a market. It may be in the woods. I may see somebody I may not. It almost feels like you're dreaming, but you're so cognitively aware that you're just in another realm and you embrace all of it and all of it is.

Out of a place of good, it feels like I'm not in fear. It feels like all is well. It feels like I have joy and gratitude and authenticity. It feels like it is my most authentic conscious self experiencing what I intend to manifest. And so that's what I'll do. What does it look [00:45:00] like for me to. Reach this goal.

What does it look like for me to have no pain? What does it look like for me a b c d e f g and go to those places and experience it fully? Yeah, and then come out of it and that kind of be your initiation into the meditative state Quantum leaping for me is a meditative state it takes a lot of effort.

Yeah. not a lot of effort and you are

putting a ton behind the experience. Your brain kind of does that yourself once you can get into those leap states. But it's exhausting to go through it. You're tired. Multiple times, I'll feel like I have fallen asleep and then I'll wake back up and go back into it because it feels either one of two things for me.

One, I'm not willing to go there, like my body's protecting me or I, it's so much work that I'm getting tired. Interesting. Yep. So yeah, it's been impactful. impactful. The key to it all is this isn't a prophecy, meaning. Where you [00:46:00] go isn't exactly where you're going to be in most cases, it's more about the feelings and emotions that you're experiencing in those states that I believe caused the manifestation.

Yeah, it draws in. Like the season of life of change that's happening right now. I've been manifesting for two years. Yeah. But it's looking completely different than any scene or visualization in my quantum leap that I've experienced thus far. I even have dreams about this. Yeah. But none of it looks how it's happening right now.

That doesn't mean that it's wrong. The feelings and emotions that I have is what has allowed me to know it's right. Yeah. I felt this. This is it. I've been manifesting this two years. Yeah, it doesn't have to look that way though And I think that's where a lot of people get caught up. 

Erin: Because part of the work is detaching from all the Labels, right?

Like all the ways that we try to control things. Or even just like the labels that we think are us, like daughter, wife, mother, [00:47:00] nurse, like all these things that define us or we think define us when we're able to really strip all that away. Because if we're honest, that's just labels. That's just.

Ego and it's just what

often what society tells us that we are and we just take it. But if we're honest, like, all we are at the core is just like this consciousness. And I understand that this gets really like murky and kind of hard to consider. But like, we're not gender, we're not employees, We're just consciousness and we've taken form in human bodies. at least for this lifetime. And understanding that we are none of that. We are just consciousness it takes us from somebody. To no one, and then as soon as we're no one, we connect with all and so we're everyone, everything, everywhere, all at once, it's a good movie.

It is a good movie. It's a weird movie, but I liked it a lot, but yeah, this concept that the universe and our reality is more of like holographic. like we have all of these [00:48:00] infinite potentials, infinite possibilities In some ways, we are kind of picking or manifesting the one that we're currently 

Josh: in.

think that's the idea of quantum in of itself. I've had Nobel Peace Prize essentially just proving the quantum molecular communication. Quantum physicists. I know I've said this, if everyone stopped considering the moon, would the moon exist? That's why that's the idea of quantum that then trickles into the idea of manifestation.

If we are constantly observing in a quantum leap, that's why it's called that. And identifying those emotions and those feelings and those habits, whatever your quantum leap looks like. You are essentially interacting with the quantum realm to begin the manifestation process of what you're intending.

that's it. 

Erin: it's both parts, or it's equal parts terrifying and wildly hopeful that we create our reality. cause when we're in those dark, dense places of our lives, like when we're in those like dark nights of the soul, and we have to come to terms with the fact that in some way,[00:49:00] Obviously, I wouldn't have chosen that.

Like, why would I have chosen X, Y, or Z? Or why would you have chosen chronic illness? There's not this conscious thing that we've chosen this reality. But, in a lot of ways, we have. Somehow created this reality, at least co created it, and that gets really tricky to parse out when it comes to, I don't know, like tragedy in your life, like losing a loved one or something, it's not that you chose that, 

Josh: again, though, that's a separate conversation.

Because that is a separate consciousness, a separate being. I mean, we're all connected, so it's not fully separate, but like you can't control. Other people's 

Erin: Well, That's what I'm saying, how would you explain coming from a person that did live with chronic illness?

Because I think I would honestly be kind of like pissed if somebody told me I created my reality of me being chronically ill. 

Josh: I mean coming from this side. No shit. I did You, 

Erin: you feel like you created that reality for yourself. 10, 

000 

Josh: percent. Really? Whether it was in this or a past [00:50:00] life.

Yeah. 10, 000 percent, that's exactly I needed to get in order to wake the fuck up and do what I needed to do in this lifetime. That 

Erin: was your leaves falling, 

Josh: I guess? I mean, one of them, yes. That was the hardest leaf falling to date, but I needed to grow and I refusing to take. any consideration for what the type of growth I needed was going to look like.

Erin: But in so many ways, like I just want to like hug all the people that have these experiences and say it's not your fault because I believe that it's not your fault. 

Josh: I don't think, again, fault is just the same idea as perfection to me. That's all I can say on that. The idea of fault is assuming that you caused bad to happen to you.

How could you argue whether it's good or bad? What if it's exactly what you needed and all of your decisions up into that point got you this place? you made those decisions. Weren't always in the place of full authenticity or fully healed. So there's ego [00:51:00] involved. There's external influence involved.

Cause that's where you're finding validation. There's so many things. That are going to come into play when, for me, chronic illness happened, I was running away from so much, no shit. I was going to get chronic illness. I couldn't run fast enough from bad. Like I was going to, what else was going to slow me down?

Erin: Bad. Yeah, because you were just saying what's good and what's 

Josh: bad. That's what I'm saying. I was just running away from something. I I didn't even know what it was. Yeah. So like, it, doesn't even exist now to me. Interesting. 

Erin: These things bend my brain. It's, it's.

Josh: one so difficult to explain and two, your eyes are like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Erin: I just, I think, I to put myself in other people's shoes. And if I were dealing with some health crisis,

I would be fairly angry. If somebody told me that I, to some degree, chose that.

Josh: Wow, we could break this down for hours. We don't have time for it, but

I chose that. 

Erin: Your [00:52:00] soul did, not your brain. 

Josh: Yeah, Not your thoughts. why would our brain choose that? We're not going to. I think it's recalibration or an attempt to reboot. It's did you turn your device off and on again? It's kind of the same thing.

It's your soul's 

Erin: way of unplugging and replugging. 

Josh: Yeah, it's a reboot. this is just my opinion. Yeah. So I don't assume everyone else agrees with this. I think there's past lives involved. I think that multiple attempts. Were made throughout my past lives get me to a place of quote unquote awakening and none of them worked and I Think that this one did yeah, there's so many things that I now think about where like the greater good of consciousness, where species, us is meant to be, or what it was intended for.

What were we all before this species? So way before past lives existed, were we just a solid state of consciousness? Was there an entire entity? Were we ethereal beings? Are we still ethereal beings just [00:53:00] in their consciousness? We don't have answers but I think that there was an intention for this species to exist for the greater good of consciousness, not just on this planet.

I like very literally, I think galactically, and I think in order for that to happen, I think things are orchestrated to shake. Consciousness in ways that are attempting to begin a recalibration. For me, that was chronic illness. I am still at the baby levels of learning any of this shit, but I think that I am beginning to be tapped in more with gifts that I had always had that now I'm like, wait a second.

This tree's fucking talking to me. What? That is, that's bashing crazy. To even say out loud. I've never thought it was crazy. 

two years ago, if somebody had been like, there is a tree in the woods that you're going to go to. And you're gonna hear and feel things. I would have been like, You're ridiculous.

I would have straight up been like, You want, you, no. And now I'm out here. [00:54:00] Can't wait to go touch freaking tree so I can hear something like you can't tell me that I would have even remotely considered that without going through chronic illness. Yeah, 

Erin: honestly, I wouldn't have. That's one of my biggest insecurities and something that I'm learning because I feel like I haven't had.

Josh: It's just not how you learn. You're learning in another torturous way. I don't want to go through what you're learning. Get out of here. You can have that. I mean, that's partially why the lump in my throat is scary. I don't want to go down that path. To me, I'm like, I need to stop resisting.

I heard it two days ago in my meditation. What am I resisting? I'm about to go into that. So hardcore. If this lump is just like a minute sign to be like, yo, bro, stop resisting. I thought I wasn't when I like go and sit with that. I'm like, honestly, I am resisting in so many ways. Resist. I'm not speaking my true 

Erin: voice.

I was going to say, of course it has 

to do 

Josh: with your voice box. 10, 000%. Yeah. I for sure am not being as open and honest as I know I can be. Yeah. I am [00:55:00] filtering because I care about other people thinking that's going to hurt them. Interesting. Meaning like my literally what I just said, it felt so good to say, I, that I do believe that.

This goes way before our past lives. I know maybe 50 percent of the people listening don't believe in past lives and that it goes way before our species existed, which I know maybe 75 percent of the people might raise their eyebrow on. I don't care how crazy it sounds anymore. Yeah. This is my authentic truth to me and to feel like I have a piece in that equation is the gift.

To me. I know like in religion, you would consider that for the greater good of that religion, with God, heaven and hell, for, good and evil, for reincarnation I know there's religious constructs under this idea. They're all saying the same thing. They're all saying the same thing. And it's what I just said without a religious construct.

Yeah. I just do believe that's it was going to take for me to get here I grew up in the evangelical church and it [00:56:00] wasn't resonating. I had to go through chronic illness, then get here for this to resonate. And I believe. that, like, if you're in a religion and you feel like that's resonating, you could get to the exactly same place I am.

Oh, yeah. I'm not saying that the religions are bad. I'm just saying it wasn't what was for me. 

Erin: I mean, objectively, they have done a lot of bad things in world, 

Josh: but... The 

religions themselves. Yeah. Yes. But if 

Erin: you... know the 

teachings, are... A 

Josh: lot of... 

How the religions evolved. But if you sit in a religion that you fully believe in and it fully resonates with you, I do believe you can get to exactly where I am. You could feel like God speaking to you through the tree. Yeah. Like it's the exact same thing. Prayer. It's just like Reiki. It's all the same stuff.

Yeah, it is. All I'm saying is all energy. in human terms, I believe that it's all energy. Yeah, Yeah, 

Erin: that's as best as we can understand it. 

Josh: Kind of, on a quantum level, we're kind of realizing that it's even more than that. I mean, there's molecular communication that's happening. Freaking... Coral reef is spawning at same millisecond every single year, but it's different every single 

Erin: year.

We have no [00:57:00] understanding of how and 

Josh: why. That's 

communication that's way above an energetic level because we can't identify it. We can identify energy. That's what bioenergetics is. This is a communication that we don't understand yet. Who knows if they're just like so tapped into. Galactic communication.

somebody in like Galaxy 6125 pushing a button to have Coral Reef spawn. Who knows? That's exactly how it goes.

Do do do do do Coral Reef ignite. All this to say though, this is eliminating all... Ideology and constructs that we have ingrained inside of us. It's impossible not to up to this point be influenced by the external, but I think now everybody, have the opportunity.

To release all of that ego and start to build your own ideologies based on the experiences that you're having from within start small. Yes. Do your two minutes of meditation, do all of that. I just don't think people realize all the power that we have within us. I know that was like our entire episode last week, [00:58:00] but I think part of it is because we're scared.

Maybe that is the lump in my throat. Maybe it is just because I am scared to speak my truth. Maybe it's. Scared that if I do fully lean into these gifts, it's going to get weird, But. I need to release all of that and just speak the truth that I believe, not in an evangelical way, just in a thought provoking way of like, Hey, I'm not saying this is what you have to believe in, but I think there's way more to this equation that you're not considering. 

Erin: Yeah. I mean, intuition is just so valuable.

Yeah. I think we don't tap into it nearly enough. I don't, it's like a superpower that none of us use. Thanks. Agreed. We have access to source, whatever, all knowing, whatever, in here. That's 

Josh: intuition. Yeah. I mean, Daddy Joe talks about the pineal gland. Pineal gland? 

Erin: However 

you say it.

People say it differently. I just don't like pineal gland for obvious reasons. Yeah, for obvious 

Josh: reasons. Pineal gland. Yeah. You would. It's a little. You [00:59:00] would. Do you say pine nut instead of peanut? No. It's same thing. What do you mean? Stop picking and choosing. The pineal gland is essentially like an antenna to the quantum field.

And there's ways to send spinal secretion and all of these things to the pineal gland. 

Erin: Yes. Spinal secretion? What are you talking 

Josh: about? I don't know what it's called. Get out of here, scientific Erin. 

Erin: I'm sorry, but I can't let that fly. Spinal secretion? Yeah, 

Josh: it's like spinal fluid, but it's just secreting.

It's not full fluid. It's like... cSF? Do you think I know? No, I don't help you. CSF. CSF. That could mean Cerebral spinal fluid, but what are you talking about? about? You can do different types of breathing. You can do different types of stomach movements. To start to put pressure on the fluid.

pressure? To essentially go up your spine, dude, go up your spine and go to your pineal gland. Okay. And it kind of just amplifies that gland. But studies have shown that essentially it is just an antenna to. [01:00:00] Emit and receive 

Erin: signals and 

information. 

Josh: Yeah, yes. In the quantum 

Erin: field. 

Yeah. That's what a lot of Joe Disbinda's work is, which probably a lot of people like raise their eyebrow at like the pineal gland is this tiny little pea shaped gland in the brain.

And most people think about like melatonin when they think about the pineal gland, but he's studied people in meditative states and with like different electrodes and things on their heads. And I think also like in MRIs, like they are able to watch the brain and the pineal gland when people are meditating and it literally grows.

It's crazy. It's wild. 

Josh: All that to say, there's physiological reasoning in some cases and then in other cases there's none. Yeah. And you just have to be okay with that. I 

Erin: think the pineal gland is actually the third eye 

Josh: opening. Done. 

Erin: Roasted. Because it's right there. It's like that's where it physiologically is.

Oh, interesting. I 

Josh: thought it was like at the base of Like your neck. No. 

Erin: Anyways. I'm going to have to fact check that. Good stuff. 

Josh: Good stuff. Good stuff. What kind of encouragement, as we close, do you have for people on a journey similar to yours?

Erin: I'm sorry,[01:01:00] 

we're in this together. I mean, I would say don't let planning and preparation and perfectionism keep you from action because action is where real change happens. I would say cut yourself some slack knowing that your nervous system and your physiology is. In some ways stacked against you. But like you're able to tap into your intuition and your inner knowing and those sorts of like kind of mysterious things, we can not override our physiology, but we have more power there.

I think like the inner world, the inner body, in a lot of ways is more real than The 3D material world that we're used to looking at and seeing and touching and feeling and playing with, 

Because I think we're not

humans or physical bodies having a spiritual experience. I think it's the other way around that we're spiritual beings having a human experience. So when we put all of our chips in the physical 3D material. Basket 

Josh: or 

which is what society encourages? 

Erin: Yeah, because it's tangible. The other stuff is kind [01:02:00] of like murky waters, but, yeah, I just, I'm finding more and more that's where the magic happens.

Josh: So good. Thank you for the encouragement. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. You're inspiring. You're 

Erin: inspiring. Here we are. Intergalactic Cowboy. Intergalactic 

Josh: you and me.

That's us. It's Kid Cudi. Shout out to the Kudster. Haven't added a song in to a podcast in a minute. Oh, we were due. Well, Y'all, we love you.

Love you. Thanks for listening. Hopefully you didn't judge. Stay 

Erin: open. Stay really open. 

Josh: Stay as open as you possibly can. Love you guys. Love you, bye. Bye!