Josh: [00:00:00] 

Introduction and October Recap

Josh: Hi everybody. What it do, baby 

Erin: boo? What's 

Josh: lighting you up, Blatch? This entire fucking [00:01:00] month. 

Erin: The month of October. Jeez, oh man. Has been lit. 

Josh: Yeah, wild. mostly good ways. A lot of new things. A lot of changes. A lot's happening. by the time you guys hear this, we'll be back. 

Excitement for Upcoming San Francisco Trip

Josh: But tomorrow we're going to San Francisco, which will be awesome.

Another wisdom 2. 0 conference. So that's going to be really fun. It's only a day long, but You guys are coming, so that'll be fun. Not to the conference, but you're coming out to Yes.

The Bay Area with us. Family affair. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. I don't know who's more excited. I know who is. Zoe. I don't know if Zoe's gonna sleep tonight. That girl gets Amped. 

Erin: All my friends keep asking, Are you packed? Are you packed? And I'm like, No, I don't pack for things until the night before. But my child Yeah.

Has been packed 

Josh: for two weeks. Jeez. She is amped. And then I was like, We have to go to bed early. Because we have to wake up early for our flight, and she freaked out. She was like, I can't go to sleep. That's what she said yesterday. Well, You're gonna have to try to close your eyes, girlfriend. Or else we're gonna have a hell of a day tomorrow.

Erin: Little does she know, she's missing like all the fun Halloween festivities at our school and in our neighborhood. But she's in kindergarten, so she doesn't really know exactly what she's missing. Yeah, she doesn't [00:02:00] understand it. So this is the year to do 

Josh: it. Yeah, but that's gonna be awesome. It'll be really fun.

Discussing Personal Growth and Changes

Erin: This month, I understand myself and the world and you and us in a completely new light than I did at the beginning of October, which is wild. 

Josh: Yeah, we've been kind of waiting. We've been like, we're on the cusp of things. We're on the cusp of things. We didn't really know what that meant.

But we keep saying it. We kept thinking it was Ruti. And Ruti's doing well. Super grateful for it. Yeah. Wasn't Ruti. No. So I think I had my eye set on Ruti. Being like it's just gonna take off. It's gonna pop. It's like the world's gonna know about it. And then it was like Yeah, hard left. Yep. So it's a lot of good stuff.

I'm excited to share about it. Eventually Probably towards the new year I'll be able to share a lot more of the transitions and there's a lot of moving and shaking going on Specifically in my life. yeah, I think we also kind of just opened up when we were like, okay Let's really dig into ourselves.

We're obviously having a lot of conversations about that on the podcast. So it's a reflection of the learnings [00:03:00] that we're doing, but we wanted to go as far as we could. 

Exploring Spiritual Experiences and Abilities

Josh: just in the past couple of months, I've started to have like some crazy things. With me like trees fucking talking to me.

What the hell is that? So I love this. That's new. I've started seeing things like I'll see them on the back of my eyelids you asked like what does it look like the best way to describe it is with those specifically Is like if you looked at a bright light for long enough and then you closed your eyes, you'd still see the bright light or if you looked at a TV screen in the dark and then you closed your eyes, you'd still see the silhouette of the TV.

It's exactly what it feels like 

Erin: or looks like. But it's like people and animals and other things. Yes. 

Josh: So fucking wild. So that's wild. I'm not hearing things but knowing things. Uh huh. And definitely feeling more and more energy. So this month we kind of dove into that just like what, but you've also like, things have been, kind of stirring up with you, not necessarily seeing or hearing things, but.

You definitely are in like that restless state of okay, I got to figure this shit out. [00:04:00] Yes, 

Understanding Personal Fears and Avoidance

Erin: I think and we talked a little bit was it on the last podcast about our passionate debate or conversation and just this Feeling like I can't change and I want to change and I can't change and I can't figure out why and I can't figure out what it is.

I'm avoiding Or what it is. I'm fearing it's like those are the things That I see evident in my life is the avoidance and the fear. Yeah, but I, for the life of me cannot pinpoint where it's coming from. I feel like I figured some of that out. 

Josh: I think we figured a lot out. Yeah, just in the past 72 hours.

72 hours it's been like, oh, 

Erin: oh. Just like that. That was pitch perfect. 

Josh: Thank you. Can't wait to put that on the podcast. Voice of an angel. So they say. Speaking of angels. Speaking of angels. Ha! 

Erin: Josh is what knows. Wow. 

Josh: I don't know what I am. Josh isn't from here. I'm a work in progress. We'll just leave that.

Let's just say I've been rebooted and I'm now recalibrating trying to figure out who I am. Ha! Ha! Ha! And that's a pun from the last podcast. Anyways, we... Not a pun, a call back. That too. 

Revelations from a Medium

Josh: we got in contact [00:05:00] with the medium, Ancestral 

Erin: Healer, 

Josh: we had a conversation with her.

She seemed super awesome. She read Erin like a fucking book within like three minutes. Erin was stumbling over her words. Not because. She was like nervous or anything, but because it's honestly really hard to explain Yes, your situation and like where your mind's at and how do you download somebody to the past life?

 and then the lady was like And you're like this and you're like that and you're like that but a little and we were just like oh, okay Yes, actually, yes, that's correct. Say more So check. her and I talked as well. And she was like, yeah, I'm going to teach you a bunch of stuff.

Cause I mentioned, I'm starting to hear things, starting to see things. 

Unpacking Past Life Experiences

Josh: And I think I did mention this on the last podcast, how I've felt that like I was imprisoned or something. There's this fear coming up that doesn't really feel like it's my own. It feels like somebody else's like a past life or something.

And then I got that lump on my throat. And so I just wanted to like, see what was up. she was amped about it and we were like, sweet. So a couple of days later, Aaron hops on the phone first and you can share your entire experience, [00:06:00] but she does it for an hour. And mine is like an hour after Aaron's finishes.

So Aaron comes in and she's Oh my gosh, you're going to love this. This is the incredible ball on. She just like word vomits for 30 minutes about everything she just learned. And all of it was like, not only. Insanely accurate, but made total sense. So then I go into mine and I'm like, I am amped. I'm slightly scared because there's been a lot of stuff in my life that is weird and dysfunctional.

So who knows what the fuck she's going to find up in there. it wasn't remotely close to yours. Yeah. At all. Yeah, tell us about yours and then I will attempt to tell about mine. 

Exploring Spiritual Gifts and Abilities

Josh: First just like give us the rundown and 

Erin: then I'll.

Yeah. So I mainly just approach this with a huge amount of curiosity. I feel like the more we tap into spirituality and mysticism and all these things, I'm just curious and I'm no longer afraid of looking under things that before were like forbidden, you 

Josh: know, I mean to talk to a medium you have to be like fairly 

josh-erin_full_length oct 27,: open 

Erin: minded.

Yeah so I mostly [00:07:00] just showed up out of curiosity But I did have this kind of looming thing that we keep talking about Quarterly for the last I don't know how many years ten 

Josh: Ten years to be exact 

Erin: this inability to look at something, look at life in the eye and to like address it, whatever it is.

It's kind of across the board, professionally, personally interrelationally, just all of these areas. I cannot, for whatever reason I just felt like the fire under my ass was gone. I felt like there's no. Passion. Even though I am passionate about things, when I look at my life and when I look at how I show up in the world, it's not there.

Yeah, there's a lack of drive. It's bizarre. Yeah. And then also this, so this like avoidance. And this fear again I just can't pinpoint like what exactly it is, or I couldn't pinpoint what it is and why I would be avoiding it. I've done a good bit of work around this, right?

Like I've journaled, I've meditated, I've, talked a lot about it with you and other people and I just can't figure it out. I mean, 

Josh: you've gone to EMDR. You've. Yes. Yes. You've [00:08:00] done your work. 

Erin: Yeah. the best way I could describe it is just like, it felt like it wasn't mine. And you said that.

Yeah. For years. Yes. But what do you do with that? So what if it's not mine? It's obviously. Yeah. It's still in my life. Yep. so I kind of told her that much. 

Understanding the Impact of Entities

Erin: And she was like, okay, I'm going to tap in, we're going to see where it takes us. And so I guess she kind of taps into my like soul's essence or soul's energy.

And right away she said, okay, you've got a really thick, strong cord attached to your father and tell me about your relationship. And so very briefly I was like I mean, I've always felt loved by my dad. I feel very close. And then the only thing I said was, I. Love my dad. I know my dad loves me and we are very close and yet I feel like there is some sort of like a wall there or something where it's like we can't fully know one another and I Can't explain that and I don't really understand why that would be and she's okay interesting And I don't want to share what's not mine so I'm gonna be you know kind of dance around this a little bit, but essentially there is A loving beneficial part of [00:09:00] the cord that is like a good bond, a loving bond and attachment with my soul to his soul.

It actually went from his heart to my sacral chakra. Just interesting. 

Anyway, she goes on to describe, so there's this positive part of this cord, but then there's also this sort of like a draining funnel aspect of this cord.

And it goes beyond just my dad. It also goes one generation further at least. when there are like unresolved things between the soul of a child and their parent, and this can go back many generations, but one that's unresolved. In a lifetime, then this kind of like draining cord can attach so she went on to explain nuances of my relationship with my dad that I knew and had experienced and have never been able to conceptualize or verbalize.

I was just like blown away. what I found was a lot of the fear, like that fear, that nervous energy the kind of avoidance, a lot of that was wrapped up like ancestrally and it wasn't mine. And so that was a huge realization.

She's like, you just can't. Identify with it because it's [00:10:00] not yours. That's not to say it's not going to impact you and you don't need to like do any work around it. But kind of understanding that it doesn't stem from me. I'm not generating that. And so we did some work while maintaining the positive, bond, which we did by, I just found all of it so fascinating and so fucking cool, but was explaining how, our souls choose our parents, We come here and choose our parents knowing that they're meant to teach us certain kind of karmic lessons. These are things beyond just this lifetime, if we have these sort of draining, funneling attachments or cords, and we want to dissolve them, oftentimes we need to do is to kind of put the parent soul.

at ease and let them know like, you've taught me the lesson. Like I'm good. I've got my lesson. You don't have to continue trying to teach me this way because now it's coming out in a destructive pattern. so she had me just think through like with my relationship with my dad, what's kind of the overarching like karmic lesson that I've learned from him.

And honestly, I had a handful of things I could choose for my dad, but I [00:11:00] picked kind of the most profound one that came to mind immediately. Which is really kind of this radical open mindedness that I feel from my dad, especially in the last decade or so, as he really shifts and grows and changes his mind about really big things.

 but even way back when, I mean, this one particular walk that we were on came to mind when she asked me that as I was. I think a very young adult, like in college and I was talking through just some dynamics and relationships and things. 

Josh: He was like, you marry that man. No, 

Erin: this is before you but he did say that he did.

He wanted me to marry you before you even asked anyway, just this like radical open mindedness. And so I. Verbalized that she, in her way connected with his soul and expressed that to his soul. So the soul could kind of take a step back and detach that particular cord that in some ways was kind of a tether to me, like holding me back in some ways again, none of this is conscious.

It's not that my dad's like consciously holding me back in [00:12:00] life but it's that tether that was there. And again, it wouldn't be on him to That was keeping me from progressing and moving forward in a lot of ways. So that was wild. 

Reflecting on the Journey and Looking Forward

Erin: But I think the biggest realization that I had during that call, she mentioned a couple times.

When I look at your soul, like when I connect with your soul's essence, what I see is this little fireball. She said it multiple times. You're just this little fireball energy. But it's almost like it's been watered. She said as she gets kind of downloaded with things or whatever. I don't have any fucking clue how this works.

But so she's kind of not fumbling over words, but she's waiting for more to come in. And the more she described my energy, she was like, Yeah, it's watery. It was a fireball and it's watery. I was just So taken aback because there's been so many times in my life, like every time we do a new like personality typing, human design, Enneagram, blah, blah, blah.

I get kind of confused because I feel like the most authentic version of yourself often is like when you're [00:13:00] less than six years old, right? Like you haven't been, I mean, you already are programs and conditioned, but that's maybe the most true version of you that you're going to get in this lifetime unless you do a whole lot of like peeling back.

But. When I think back to that version of me, I was a spitfire fiery red hot. sounds 

Josh: like somebody else I 

Erin: know. I've recreated her, yes. I got some karmic lessons for her. But, when I think back to that version of me, And then think to my adult self, it feels deeply incongruent, like they're like at odds with one another.

I'm peaceful and complacent and... Agreeable to a fault, like the pleasing and my opinions are very small and very quiet, typically. But every now and then I feel that spark come through and it's yikes better douse that one. That's gonna get me in trouble.

 and when she tapped in with my mom, who I also have a very strong cord to she was saying, okay, I'm, tapping in with your mom's energy. And she goes, you scared her. 

Josh: I was like, yes. That resonates 

Erin: for you [00:14:00] too. Yeah, yes. She goes, you didn't just scare her, you triggered her in such a way that She had to kind of make you more manageable in order for her to maintain a sense of calm within her soul, she had to douse your flame to some degree.

Again, this wasn't conscious. I hold literally not one drop of resentment towards either of my parents for any of this, knowing very well that I do this with my own child in my own special way. when we were talking through this kind of fireball energy, she was connecting with my soul, seeing this fireball that had been watered down and she goes, I feel like your soul is saying that there's parts of you that you don't show or don't share. you can't be your full authentic self in the world.

How does that make you feel? Does that resonate? And I was like yeah, I mean, there's no way I could show up my full authentic self in this world. And she was like why not? What's the worst thing that would happen? And I was like Nobody would get it. If I showed up, really, hundred percent.

authentically myself, no one would understand. And she's like, what's the worst thing that would happen then? I [00:15:00] was like I would be lonely. Nobody would understand me. I'd be so lonely. She's like, well, okay. What's the worst thing about that? And I was like, honestly, I guess I'm already getting that because I'm not showing everyone my full self.

And so I am. Choosing loneliness she's like, okay, well, we'll just come back to that. then she goes, You've shown a 

Josh: lot more, especially the past couple of months. Yes, 

Erin: for sure. But she prompted me to go back to the first time I felt misunderstood. right away, this like childhood memory of being very fiery and opinionated.

Again, this is all sub six years old. I like flipped a switch, I think, around six. And I was just this like good girl before that I was fiery and opinionated and I remember my parents. I had probably exasperated, like they're probably just couldn't deal with it completely.

Understand? Yes, exactly. Like I really do. I get it. But they would tell me like you're gonna be a lawyer one day. And I knew it wasn't positive feedback, right? Like my dad worked with lawyers. He was always griping about lawyers. What a pain in the ass they were. so I absorbed that message and was like, Ugh, I [00:16:00] don't like the way that felt.

I would rather be liked than powerful, I would rather put some water on this flame and make it palatable for other people. And then I started to realize how deeply uncomfortable it makes me to make other people uncomfortable. Like whether that is. Making them angry or sad or triggered in any way, it feels wrong.

It feels like I'm quote sinning or being an asshole or something. So she was saying like, if and when you choose to step back into this fire and show up as your authentic fireball self, you're gonna ruffle some feathers. You're gonna make people really uncomfortable.

And I was like yikes, because I can't do that. Yeah. she was like what do you mean? I was like I mean, to even say something that maybe makes somebody else's face turn red. God I wanna die on the spot. Mm-Hmm. ,, I'm serious. Yeah. Yeah. If I, I know you are. I know if I embarrass somebody, if I even have a hunch that somebody feels like maybe I called them out, like how many times have we had a conversation with a [00:17:00] neighbor or something and I come in and I'm like, do you think so-and-So thought I, I was meaning this or that.

Yeah. And you're like, no, , you've said it to me. Exactly. I even projected on you like, I don't know if so and so may have thought you meant X, Y, or Z, but, and I'd be like, 

Josh: who the fuck cares ? 

Erin: Exactly.

What was so enlightening and so helpful for me to understand was she was explaining how Oftentimes, when you ruffle feathers and when you show up your full authentic self and you're making people uncomfortable, you're triggering them, you're making them pissed off, you're making them sad, whatever it is that you're bringing up in them, sometimes that's the exact medicine that person needs to go inward and to look at something in the eye.

While it's not going to feel comfortable, it certainly doesn't have to feel wrong or bad to do so if it's all in love, right? It's different than me showing up and being an asshole and triggering somebody that way. But if I'm showing up in full, unconditional love as my fireball, authentic self, And I trigger a person, sometimes that's what [00:18:00] they need.

That's what I needed. You've triggered the fuck out of me for the last three years. And I would never have explored the layers and the depths of myself that I have without that trigger, like without being wildly uncomfortable by the things you were bringing into my orbit. So that was a huge aha moment for me.

And a deep understanding about why I feel incongruent in so many ways because I'm not being myself, like I'm not showing up as myself. Yeah, so just, it made me want to celebrate like my fire again. Yeah. I saw Anastasia later that day and I was like, telling her all the things. She's like, you need to have a fire ceremony tonight.

And I totally did. Had a bonfire. I watched the flames. It was just like very cathartic. there were so many moments in that call where I was just shaken to my core. First of all, how are you so tapped in? Like, how do you know these things, these dynamics about my parents and I that As soon as she verbalized it, I was like, whoa, that's what that [00:19:00] is.

I know that's been there. Yeah. that was wild. But then, so I come back and I tell you all of that and you're going in thinking like, Oh, there's going to be some cords broken. 

Josh: Whoa, this is gonna be gnarly. 

Erin: I mean, tell us as much as you can. It's so tough to verbalize what your experience was.

Josh: Yeah, it's been a wild couple days. I fortunately recorded mine, which, gosh, thankfully I did because I've gone back three or four times now to kind of refer back to it. When I Initially got on, she, me, it was like, okay, before we start I've already got a couple of things. And she was talking to me about my spirit guides, which I've known that there's seven my lead spirit guide's name is So we were talking about that. She was just explaining how like. Inside, they are hysterical, but on the outside, they're very rigid and soldier like and that they stand behind me and all of these things. So it was like me learning more about the spirit guides that I feel so in tune with.

But yeah, then it got really wild. I definitely like shared my gifts [00:20:00] and stuff. I started to express kind of like the fear and the feelings that I was having with what I assumed was going to be a past life. And she. Was like, okay, let's go there. And she had me do it. Pretty early on in the conversation, it was pretty evident that I was holding some of those gifts and we talked about like how I'm seeing things and hearing things and feeling things.

And so she was. Definitely approaching me that way. I went into my past life. It came up that it was seven past lives ago. I was a lady on the side of a Hill overlooking a town. And it was pretty vivid. I could see everything clearly. I could feel emotions. I felt fear and maybe slight shame, but I was hiding behind a rock.

And there was. People infiltrating the city. so I started describing things and she started asking me questions about it. And I was answering them. And then she was like, do you know why the city's being infiltrated? And I was like, no, can't figure it out. And then she was like, do you know why you're hiding?

And I was like, no, I mean, the [00:21:00] weird thing was now looking back on that is that the obvious answer would be, oh, because the city's being infiltrated. And I didn't even get that answer. I was searching searching searching I'm like I can't figure out why I'm hiding so she's okay I'll take it from here, which was wild 

Erin: cuz she was there too, right?

she was she said that she was connected to me Yeah, okay 

Josh: So she tells me there's really one of two reasons why I wouldn't be able to get further into that. One, the lessons have been learned and I don't need any more information to kind of connect the dots. Or two, it was so traumatic that my soul is essentially not wanting to relive that experience, which is exactly what it was.

And so she goes, So the town is being massacred and as soon as she said massacred, I was like, shit, that is wild because the that I was seeing was very indeed a massacre Game of Thrones death and. she was like, and they were coming for you. And as soon as she said that, it was just like, my whole entire body felt it. And she started to explain that I had gifts. Like I was the witch of the [00:22:00] town. I was the healer I was an asset to many people. And so they were coming to take me like for their own personal, for their own personal game.

And I was scared. Yeah, there was fear, but then there was also a ton of shame. And that was the last time I had used my gifts. And the 

Erin: shame was around because I remember you saying, like, when you were looking down on the town, you told her I love this place. Yeah 

Josh: I feel so much love for this town.

it's wild. I forgot I said that. And. Yeah, then she said after that I just lived ordinary lives until now 

Erin: So you kind of ditched the gifts because clearly that was a threat to your life. Yeah to use 

Josh: them and others I she definitely said like I hold a lot of power But I'm very gentle and I care so much about people and I don't want them to get hurt And so that's kind of like why my powers or my gifts Went into dormancy It was really weird to experience that. And then after the past couple of days, it's been a process. I didn't have trouble falling asleep, but that was there as I was falling asleep. But since [00:23:00] that, the lump in my throat is completely gone. It's gone.

I haven't felt remotely an ounce of a lump in my throat. Which is fucking wild. That was kind of like the start of 

Erin: it. Yeah, that was maybe your one inch deep. Yeah, 

Josh: okay. So she then goes to talk about me. Just the gifts that I have and The entities that I'm experiencing and the different planes that I'm associated with and how I can tap into all of them and that my energy is almost like a pinball machine, but I am so calculated and organized that like from the outside, people may seem like I'm chaos, but internally, like everything is very intentionally.

 Um, she are going to be not like me at all, or they're going to find me as a leader, which is exactly what my life has been like. You trigger people. 

Erin: Yeah. But you also are very gentle and empathetic. So it is. Yeah. It's yeah, you get one or the other. 

Josh: She called me like a healer a couple of times, I think, and just identifying that like these gifts that I have.

[00:24:00] Are something that is being awakened again. And so these things, like I'm hearing the trees talk and, which is wild, but that's like the third plane and then she was talking about all of these different types of entities and how I have. I have the power to communicate with those entities and I can take them off of people and then there's cords that can be connected to the entities that need to be taken care of and then she started talking about how I'm a blu ray seed and that I'm a part of the galactic council and I'm just like, oh, fuck, where do we go from here?

Slow down! And then today I find out that we're actually soul family. What she didn't say on the call, I've just been texting her and it's just like, it's been so much information. She started just like characteristics of me, but then how I'm going to be experiencing things and how these gifts are going to be Kind of illuminated even more so in the next coming months. 

Erin: She basically said now that you're open and now that you're not like. Asleep to it anymore. You're awake. As soon as you start [00:25:00] really tapping into it, it's gonna come back because it's something you've done before.

It's not like learning something new. You're like, you're 

Josh: remembering what Aaron's saying all this because I let her watch the 

Erin: recording. Yeah, we popped popcorn and watched 

Josh: Josh's. Super vulnerable because I was awkward as fuck on that. I watch myself all the time now because of the podcast.

I hear myself all the time. awkward to see me. I felt so awkward watching me on that because I feel like my brain was exploding every other sentence and I was just like, That's incredible. Wow. Yeah. And because I had like, I didn't know what to say. So I'm an alien. Okay, great. What is there?

Galactic Council. Blu ray seed.

Erin: Oh my gosh, but there's been so many things throughout the last few days. It's like it'll bubble up to your consciousness and you're like, wait, I have to tell you. Yeah. Like now this makes so much sense and that makes so much sense. 

Josh: so I don't have cords. Yeah, nobody's latched to you.

Nobody can latch to me. Cause you're not from here. 

Erin: probably why I was so 

Josh: attracted to you. I'm out of this [00:26:00] world.

Erin: I'm gonna call you my intergalactic cowboy 

Josh: forever. Thank you, Xenon from the 21st century over here. Yep. Anyways. cause then I was like my growing up it was fairly dysfunctional. There was like a lot of shit that went on. Erin talked about having cords, like with her family.

Do I have any? And she was like, no. And I was like, oh, are you sure? Am I supposed to know that? people can't hook into you. Yeah, I can hook into others and then they pull me down. But they can't hook into me. kind of made a lot of sense to me. . That was like a aha moment. 'cause that's exactly what I felt like also that my soul bounces around.

I'm not from here. She says I don't even live on earth. I kind of stay in the realms of above or below. And I've never felt like I'm home. We talk about that all the time, and everyone says it's like discontentment, and I'm genuinely like, I feel called here now, I feel called here now, I feel called here now, but I never am like, oh, I'm home.

I never have felt that. And. Yeah, it is all making sense now.[00:27:00] So I'm at this point where I'm just processing a ton of stuff now. She gave me so much information that a lot of it was overwhelming, I guess is the best way to put it. I've like attempted to start doing research on it. I feel really validated.

for the first time somebody was telling me actually a lot of the things that I'm feeling, seeing, hearing. And put human words to it, I guess. I'm excited to continue to navigate that, but it feels like I am learning how to walk so much of my life is now coming up, even like things that I didn't remember.

In my childhood, I'm remembering now things that I used to daydream about or fantasize about or all these different things that like, I think my soul was so scared or I don't know if it was scared. It just wasn't ready. And now I'm open enough to receive all of it. I'm definitely like leading with curiosity, but it's a lot of information, so I don't even know like where to go next with all of it.

I wasn't like 

Erin: Aaron's. No. It's just so funny to me because it's equal parts. Yeah. Of course. but also, what? Yeah. On earth are you even talking about? Yeah. What? And [00:28:00] if I didn't know you as deeply as I do, we've said this on other podcasts.

I feel like we are, Our souls have met before. Yes, but it's like I, Know you like at the core of you. Yeah, and you are incapable of making this up like it's yeah. 

Josh: No, I'm not that smart 

Erin: It's just like first of all, why would you that's a really bizarre thing to make up Yeah, and like we've had experience like when you went through EMDR and there's that really disorienting season Yeah, where you kind of had to unlearn what you thought you knew about yourself.

Totally it felt really vulnerable and kind of, scary to bring to me at the time, I think. But this, it's just like a whole nother level, I don't know. 

Josh: Yeah, it's wild. And the feelings that I'm having... It's hard to explain. Yeah, cuz like there's a piece of it that you're like this is weird this is kind of like the movies 

Erin: a little bit I know if you've ever seen Wheel of Time, I'm pretty sure Josh was one of those.

Josh: Oh my gosh Which one would you loved it? 

Erin: Now that I know you are one of these, I want to rewatch the whole thing because before I was kind of [00:29:00] uninterested, I want to binge 

Josh: the shit out of it. Yeah, I do.

But it's yeah, it's just a lot to take in. Feels free and it feels like an exhale. It feels like I've known about this for some time, but haven't been willing to talk about it, even to you. We were watching the recording and you were like, why don't you tell me everything like why don't you show me about this?

And like I 

Erin: also get it. What are you gonna just roll over at 11 p. m Be like, I see wolves on my eyelids like I don't know that's 

Josh: this woman that I can't see. Sorry I'm fantasizing about this other woman. that keeps coming to me Yeah, or the energy that I feel and it feels Entity ish, I don't know There's just a lot there that it's all new I'm just trying to navigate through 

Erin: it speaking of entities really curious to see where that goes because there are a lot of things that we can explain from a physical Perspective relating to like chronic illness and stuff like that there's all sorts of physical Yeah, that we can. And even emotional things. However, there are some people that I work with and that I 

Josh: know specifics.

Yes. Yeah. [00:30:00] I already know the entities I have already been able to distinguish with people. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. 

Erin: many implications here. Like you hear about people dissociating from their body or feeling like they look in the mirror and they don't know who they're looking at and all of these, and it's like this dissociation, which can happen often with things like Bartonella and other.

That's why this was partially 

Josh: so weird because I'm like, Bartonella was weird because I'd feel somebody was over my shoulder. I'd see shadows and things like that. Completely different feeling, but verbally it sounds the same. Yeah. Completely different feeling 

Erin: So you don't think for you, chronic illness had any sort of entity.

Josh: Oh no. I would imagine it did. don't know. Maybe it can't. I don't know. I like, I can't have a cord. Can I have an entity? I have no idea. what I'm saying is the symptoms of Bartonella, especially when I was going through the healing, when so many people have hallucinations and. Things like that.

I felt like somebody was watching me over my shoulder the entire time. Maybe that was an entity. I don't know. I saw shadows and it wasn't human form [00:31:00] shadows. It just was like almost like the sun was shifting in front of me. Yeah. so when I started to see or hear things like I genuinely not hear like audibly.

It's not like somebody's talking into my ear. It's like a knowing. It's like a third eye 

Erin: hearing. And if the rest of your life wasn't so like It's not like I'm totally 

Josh: normal. I know. Yeah, I love f1 racing Yeah, like please don't try to lock up 

Erin: apples 

Josh: I am just a suburban husband over here 

Erin: Yes, but okay back to chronic illness.

So what I'm 

Josh: saying about that is I think that's why I kept my voice so quiet Yeah, because like I go and touch a tree and I can hear things In my mind, and I'm like, this kind of feels batshit crazy. Yeah. I've had Bartonella, so I know like, there's things, or seeing things in the back of my eyelids, I'm like, is this just a parasite raging?

So I just like... wrote it off. Yeah, I didn't write it off, cause it can't, you can't, it keeps happening. But I'm not gonna just like, tell the world. Sure. Cause that feels just weird. So if any blu ray [00:32:00] star seeds are out 

Erin: there, if you please help, wait, okay. I need to get this out though.

So with chronic illness, people that are feeling like something is not theirs, What we've described multiple times. It within this podcast. Yeah, if something feels like it's not yours, like you can't identify exactly what it is about whatever it might not be yours go find somebody who can tap into that stuff because 

Josh: that's coming from like your 

Erin: experience.

I think. Yeah. Yeah. And because now understanding like what she has explained about entities, which are just what they're just these things that attach to us almost like a parasite to suck from our life force, but they give us lessons in some ways and it's tempting, maybe in previous cultures, they are called demons or whatever, but we are not supposed to look at them like good, bad, right?

Josh: Yeah, they have. That's what she encouraged me to do. Yeah. Dissociate from the idea of good and bad universal law is not dualistic. 

Erin: Exactly. So more. So she was saying if you are gifted in such a way that you can communicate and interact with these [00:33:00] entities, you approach them with unconditional love because that's really what they don't have they don't have the information or programming to understand what That is and that's why they're like wreaking havoc on your life because there's like a very low vibrational being So that's fun.

So that's fun, but Like the healing that can happen if people like maybe you, I don't know, her definitely, can help to detach and remove these entities. 

Josh: She says that I could do that. We'll see. Excited to try. 

Erin: It's just really wild to me because It's a whole nother layer. So we talk about mind, body, soul, and this is part of the soul.

But it's four or five, six, eight layers deeper than I ever imagined. 

Josh: Sorry for any family members that are listening to this being like, what? We knew Josh was crazy, but he's off the rocker 

Erin: now. We told you to stay open. 

Josh: Stay very open. 

Erin: Yeah, but I'm just, I feel like this is a whole nother realm of.

Healing that is possible. I don't know. I just I can't she [00:34:00] says that 

Josh: like you'll be able to see like a 180 shift in People right in front of 

Erin: you. Will you tell me if you ever see an entity on me? 

Josh: Yeah, but I'm working on that myself right now There's some learning I gotta do But it feels like I'm just tapping into it.

I'm just on the cusp of opening this all up. It has felt like that. And for the first time, somebody was able to verbalize it for me. I also think that there was like some past life shit that I need to take care of, like exactly what I just visited. I mean, literally the lump in my throat is completely gone.

Yeah. So there's that. 

Erin: So you're thinking that was like an energetic block 

Josh: I think it had directly to do with the fear. And that fear was directly coming from that past life. I see. 

Erin: Lump in the throat. Yeah. That is a feeling of fear. so another thing I forgot to say, at the end of my session, she so kindly was like, have you ever connected with your spirit guides?

And I was like, no, but I would love to I just don't even know how, I mean, I like kind of pray sometimes, I guess. but I don't even know how I would do that. She's like, okay, well, I just want, sometimes it's helpful for you to have a name to feel connected to just [00:35:00] something that you can attach your thought to.

And she's like your main spirit guide, like the one that's with you and has always been with you. It's a very feminine energy, so I'm going to call it her, but her name is like the closest translation I can verbalize as Elvia. And I was like, Sweet. I'm going to be talking to Elvia every day. And she was, communicating with Elvia and, She then said actually, it makes a lot of sense that you don't hear or see or feel things necessarily from your spirit guides, because one of The main lessons that they're, like, kind of helping you work through and move through right now is the ability for you to stand on your own two feet in relation to spirituality because you still have some lessons that you're kind of, working through in relation to the time spent in religion and she's like, I'm kind of sensing a need for you to forgive yourself in some way.

It's like your soul hasn't forgiven yourself for the parts of you that you shut off. during religion, like when you were in that construct. so that, was interesting and something I'm going to be mulling over a good bit. But it was [00:36:00] kind of nice to hear that because I'm always like, I'm so deeply spiritual and I'm like, I got nothing, like nothing's coming through.

Yeah. my spirit guides are like, you got it. you're on your own for now. Yeah. Yeah. I think what would happen if they were to be chiming in all the time is that I would just be completely dependent on or them as my teacher, leader, guide, or source when I have 

Josh: that.

At least from my experience, but I know mine are different. That's not how it works. Yeah. You're not going to be able to lean on them regardless. Yeah. 

Erin: Wow. What a, what? A wild conversation. 

Josh: I wonder how, I wonder how so? I didn't think I was gonna have this conversation on the podcast. 

Thanks to the four of you who are still here. We told you to stay open. We told you, we gave you fair warning. We've been telling you wild ride. So yeah that's, that's been a week. Might as well head west now , here we go. Maybe more 

Erin: people will get us out there. Who knows? suburban, central Ohio is probably not the place for us, but for now, it's.

Josh: This earth isn't my place. so irrelevant. What location we choose. 

Erin: Oh geez. Blech. I love you. Love you too for lifetimes. Cheers. We 

Josh: just cheered our coffee cups.[00:37:00] appreciate you listening to this one. If you listen to it 

Erin: Stay open. That's all I can say. 

Josh: Yeah, we have done told you So get on it if we're triggering you. Sorry, maybe try to learn from it. Yeah 

Erin: Yeah, actually i'm not sorry.

That's right. Don't be sorry. Okay. 

Josh: Love you. Love you, too Bye