12: Picky Eating & Breastfeeding with Registered Pediatric Dietitian and IBCLC Krystyn Parks (Feeding Made Easy)

Introducing solid foods to your breastfed baby can feel like a really exciting (and somewhat scary) milestone.  But what happens when your 12 month old, 18 month old or 3 year old prefers breastfeeding to solid foods? 

Google (and your pediatrician) can have conflicting advice that only serves to confuse and frustrate you. 

Where do you turn?!  To Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding,  of course! ;)

This week I interviewed Krystyn Parks, owner of Feeding Made Easy.  

Krystyn is a registered pediatric dietitian and an Internation Board Certified Lactation Consultant.  She brings expertise of both breastfeeding physiology AND nutritional needs of growing toddlers.

Tune into this jam-packed episode where we answer the q's I get the *most* in my dm's as an LC for breastfeeding toddlers.  

Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guide

Love this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. <3

Transcript

12 - Picky Eating & Breastfeeding

[00:00:00] Jenna: This week I interviewed Kristen Parks, who is an I B C L C, an international board certified lactation consultant, and a pediatric registered dietician. She's the owner of Feeding Made Easy. And we talk about how breastfeeding and solid foods work together past the first year of life. Um, we talk about the introduction of solid foods, and then we get into all the questions that I have in [00:00:30] my dms about, you know, like, is breastfeeding stopping my child from eating food?

[00:00:36] Jenna: Or my child's so picky and they just wanna breastfeed all the time. I need them to cut back breastfeeding so that they eat more. Um, or just concerns about, you know, making sure like, like how do we work through cow's milk being introduced into the mix, or do we need to, what about toddler formula? You know, like, when do I switch on to these things?

[00:00:56] Jenna: How do these things all work? Uh, so we cover [00:01:00] it all in this super jam-packed episode. Super excited for you to have it take a.

[00:01:10] Jenna: So Kristen, how did you. Get into the work that you're doing right now as, and I mean I've, I've said this before, but I love that you have the diet, um, dietetic side, the dietician, registered dietician, as well as the lactation side. I think that that's such a beautiful, um, marriage to [00:01:30] bring to your expertise.

[00:01:31] Jenna: So how did you kind of get to this, um, place specializing in both of. 

[00:01:36] Krystyn: So I became a dietician. Um, so I originally went to school to become a teacher, and then I was like, Nope, that's not gonna work for me. Um, but I love food. So I became a dietician and then I realized I wanted to work with kids. I missed working with kids when I stopped becoming or stopped.

[00:01:51] Krystyn: Pursuing becoming a teacher. Um, so I kind of started focusing on pediatrics, which, you know, became very naturally to me and that was great. I loved it. Um, [00:02:00] and then I had kids and I realized that everything they tell you in books does not apply to real life children. Um, Then I had my second child who was, uh, born premature and he was, I mean, thankfully no one told him he was premature.

[00:02:15] Krystyn: So he, you know, came out ready to like, face the world. But we did have some beating issues up front. And so, um, The lactation consultant came in and I knew after having my first child that I make milk like a cow. Like I [00:02:30] had issues with oversupply. With my first, I had no concerns that I was gonna have any problems making milk with my second and immediately, because he was premature.

[00:02:37] Krystyn: She starts having me triple feed and I'm thinking to myself like, I don't think this is the right call. You don't know me. I know my body, blah, blah, blah. But we were getting so much pressure from her, and my husband's panicking because of the premature baby and all this kind of stuff. So I start triple feeding.

[00:02:52] Krystyn: I mean, my oversupply was out of control. I was pumping like 18 ounces in the morning, like it was. Oh my gosh. 

[00:02:59] Jenna: [00:03:00] And just for our, like anyone who doesn't know, triple feeding is breastfeeding, pumping, and then bottle feeding. Yes. 

[00:03:06] Krystyn: So it was, it's a, it's a production. It was a lot. So yeah, it was a lot of work on me, you know, having this baby who I was not ready for at all.

[00:03:13] Krystyn: And then, yeah, doing all of that. Producing all this milk, all of this kind of stuff. And you know, he had some problems with latching probably cuz he was getting a fire hose to the face. You know, every time, you know, we're trying to feed him, there's so much milk coming out. Um, and the more I thought about it, the more I [00:03:30] realized like she wasn't listening to me.

[00:03:31] Krystyn: She just kind of came in and was like, you have a premature baby, this is what we do for premature babies and blah, blah blah. And kind of was just going through the motions and I thought like, that's not how this should be. Um, so I started doing a lot more research for myself. And then of course you. I went really deep into it because that's what I do and I thought I should be helping people with this.

[00:03:49] Krystyn: I'm already helping people with feeding kids. I'm already helping people with all that kind of stuff. Why am I starting at six months or a year when I could be starting them right off the gate? So that's kind of how I bled, [00:04:00] blended together the I B C L C and the dietetics to kind of take care of all things feeding, you know, starting from birth.

[00:04:08] Jenna: Yeah. I love that. And I, I feel like that's so, so true too. When it cut, like I, I do parenting and I'm like, why do we start talking about parenting at toddlerhood? Like, why do we start talking about like emotion regulation and everything? Then like, why aren't we talking about it in, in infancy and mm-hmm.

[00:04:24] Jenna: You know, in breastfeeding dynamics and all of these things. Like, it's just if we don't, like we can set ourselves up for success. [00:04:30] Earlier, right? Yes. Because it does all kind of move together and it really becomes this cohesive journey and story, and they're just kind of different, different kind of like movements through it.

[00:04:40] Jenna: So I, I totally, I totally relate to that and get that. Um, yeah. So how did your journey go, like when you were m. Like nearing the end of your breastfeeding with both, both one, both of your kids, whatever you'd like to share. 

[00:04:55] Krystyn: So my breastfeeding journey ended with my first one because I went on a trip [00:05:00] and that was that.

[00:05:01] Krystyn: Um, he was, he was way independent and uh, I think he was around 14 months and we were just basically doing, um, I think just morning and night feeds with him. He didn't want anything to do with me the rest of the time. It was just kind of, you know, a routine. And so when I went away, that was kind of it, you know, I came back.

[00:05:19] Krystyn: Yeah. And we had stopped for a few days and he just had no desire to go back. And that was fine. Yeah. With my second, it was not intentional. Yeah. Um, we were in the middle [00:05:30] of, you know, the worst of like the Covid 19 type stuff, and I was like, where I'm gonna give him any antibodies, any immune stuff that I can give him, I'm gonna breastfeed this child until he goes to college.

[00:05:39] Krystyn: Like, I'm just gonna keep doing this and. He just said, no, that was it. Like just one day he just said no. And you know, I could stick my boob in his face, but like, you know, he wasn't gonna take it and that was it. And so it was very much, um, everything with him was very much his lead and yeah, [00:06:00] that's just, you know, how he is as a kid still.

[00:06:02] Krystyn: Yeah. Um, but it was weird to me because I don't even remember what his last feed was because it was so not a conscious decision. I just thought there would be more, you know, and then, There just wasn't. So it was a very, and he's my last baby, and so it was a very like emotional thing when I realized like a week later that we weren't gonna do this anymore cuz he would, you know, reject me for a day or two and then he'd come back.

[00:06:22] Krystyn: But he just never came back. And I just thought like, oh, I guess, I guess I'm done breastfeeding for real now. You know? That's just kind of it. Yeah. [00:06:30] But it was, I mean, I felt good about it because like I said, it was very much his choice and that's what I wanted as I wanted to kinda keep going until he was done, you know, because with my first one, like I said, it was a trip.

[00:06:39] Krystyn: It was more my choice. He might've kept going longer. Um, but with my second one, I wanted to make sure that it was his choice and it was 100% his choice. I had very little say in the matter. 

[00:06:49] Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. It is. Uh, it like I, I've had, uh, I've had clients who have come to me because their baby's waking a lot during the night.

[00:06:58] Jenna: Baby, you know, like [00:07:00] young toddler, right? And then we optimize everything and we start meeting the needs and we take the pressure off of breastfeeding and then it stops on, on its own. And they're like, I didn't necessarily want that, but you know, I totally get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and then there's kids like my daughter who's, you know, almost six and still.

[00:07:19] Jenna: Is asked for it in the evening, you know? Yep. So it's so, it's so funny. Just find them all on the, on the spectrum along that, so. Yep. Yeah, I was just curious how that kind of went for you. [00:07:30] Um, so I know that moms who are breastfeeding past a year, Have some unique concerns, like there's just no support, right?

[00:07:40] Jenna: Mm-hmm. Like for like, what do you do? Like you go to the, the pediatrician or whatever and like at, you know, hopefully not at four months, but somewhere around that four to six months window, they're like, Hey, start some solid foods, right? Like, now's your time to start some solid foods. And then, you know, I know my friends, whatever, like nine or 10 months, I didn't have this experience, [00:08:00] but the, the doctor's like, yeah, you can think about starting to introduce some cows milk soon.

[00:08:04] Jenna: And like, that's. That's about the conversation and as far as it goes. Mm-hmm. Um, and yeah, there's those recommendations that we have that are breastfe till two years and beyond and and whatnot. Mm-hmm. And so then like moms are left, like scratching their heads, like, I don't know, like, how do I navigate solid foods and breastfeeding?

[00:08:23] Jenna: What does that look like? What's normal? What's not normal, you know? So I'd love to kind of like move [00:08:30] into that. So I guess we could start with the, like, what is normal? How do you kind of move into the, into the like 12 month mark and beyond of breastfeeding when we're looking at like a whole diet of a toddler?

[00:08:44] Jenna: Um, Is that a fair question? I don't know if that was specific enough, but Right. In that window of moving outta the, like, typical age to Wean, when like mm-hmm. The doctors are kind of assuming that you're weaning or have weaned by now, um, what does that look like in that, in that 

[00:08:57] Krystyn: space? It's hard cuz there's [00:09:00] no like normal, like you said, there's no, it's, there's very few people I think that are willing to talk about it even to like make a normal or, you know, say like, this is what I did, you know.

[00:09:11] Krystyn: We just have a handful of people that are like willing to even speak about it. But the way that I usually talk with parents who are still breastfeeding after like let's say a year, is if you're breastfeeding like maybe like three to four times a day, somewhere around there where you're like more than just like a little bit before bed, um, or something like that.

[00:09:28] Krystyn: If you're just doing like a little [00:09:30] tiny bit if you're breastfeeding, like, you know, somewhat consistently. I just kind of look at that as taking the place of cow's milk. It is more or less like a one-to-one comparison in my mind. Yeah. Um, we usually recommend around, or no more than 16 ounces of cows milk per day for that age group.

[00:09:48] Krystyn: And if you're getting, you know, somewhere around that in breast milk, that's better. Right. You know, breast milk is, you know, human milk, whatever. So we would recommend that. So if you're, if you're breastfeeding, you know that much, then I don't, I [00:10:00] just say, okay, you probably don't need to worry about cow's milk.

[00:10:02] Krystyn: You're doing breast milk instead. That's great. The reason that we recommend cow's milk at all is we're going from a liquid diet to a solid diet, and we're making it a transition over time. That's why we're using cow's milk generally, is it's an easy way to get liquid calories in. For a child who is used to having an all liquid diet, as they're transitioning to a solid diet, breast milk is gonna work.

[00:10:25] Krystyn: Just as well, if not better, right? So, right. We just don't have as many parents who are [00:10:30] able or willing to continue breastfeeding, which is why we use cow's milk. Um, so if you are breastfeeding, then you just keep doing that and you just don't offer the cow's milk. If you're only breastfeeding, like maybe, you know, one time, like I said before bed, then you can offer some cows milk.

[00:10:46] Krystyn: In place of that. But it's, it's so individualized because everyone's kind of doing a different amount and most people are, I find, are direct breastfeeding. If they're, um, going past a year, usually it's direct and they don't know how much [00:11:00] they're giving. They don't know if their kids taking like a couple of sips or you know, if they're getting a full feed.

[00:11:04] Krystyn: Right. Um, so it's a little bit hard to guess. You kind of have. Play around a little bit and you know, kind of go off of how you're feeling. But that's kind of how I look at it, is instead of doing cow's milk, we're just doing breast milk. And they are, they're not the same. But you know, as far as what we're looking as recommendations, I just sub in the breast milk for the cow's milk.

[00:11:23] Krystyn: If you see any, you know, diet recommendations for that age. 

[00:11:26] Jenna: Right. Yeah. And I, I, I think that, you know, in some ways [00:11:30] it's, it's backwards in the sense like biologically it would be the breast milk that's like the, the normal, and we're subbing in the cow's milk as they're transitioning. Um, and I think that that would be where the, you know, the two years and beyond recommendation would be accounting for, right?

[00:11:44] Jenna: And that would be like the first line. But then we know that our. Yeah, the overwhelming majority of people are not breastfeeding until two years. Right. We know that. Um, as far as, that's not globally. Globally, actually about half of the kids worldwide are still breastfeeding at two. But [00:12:00] in our western world, in North America, you know, in the uk, in those areas, yeah.

[00:12:05] Jenna: Most babies are not being breastfed at a year. Right. Um, or two years. So yeah, that becomes the norm, right? Yes. So then we are seeing the recommendations and that's where I think it gets really confusing for moms. Yes. Um, that we have these kind of weird recommendations that say, well keep breastfeeding.

[00:12:21] Jenna: Oh, but wait, add in cow's milk at nine months. And you're like, what 

[00:12:24] Krystyn: the, yeah. I wish they would say, instead of writing like cow's milk, just put like [00:12:30] milk. And that could be cow's milk or human milk. And just make it. Make that be kind of the recommendation for the same way that we say like breast milk or formula.

[00:12:37] Krystyn: Just say breast milk or cow's milk. Right. You know, just make it kind of like a, a normal thing to kind of say either or. That way if you aren't breastfeeding, you know, use cow's milk. If you are breastfeeding, you, you know, use breast milk. You know, that's kind of it. Instead of making it like cow's milk is what we do.

[00:12:50] Krystyn: Oh yeah. And by the way, if you're still breastfeeding, you can also use that like, no, let's. Make it kind of like either one, put it both out there so it's available for parents, just like that is the [00:13:00] recommendation. Yeah. But I think we have a ways to go for that. Of course. 

[00:13:03] Jenna: I know, I mean, hooray that in the States now we have a recommendation of two years.

[00:13:08] Jenna: I know that that can be controversial, but like at least it's a little bit stepping in that direction. Um, right. I wish the supports were there to help moms get to that point, but Yes. Yes. Um, I say that having. Two year recommendations in Canada for a very long time. So, you know, yeah, I could be like, you're catching up with us a little bit in that area anyways.[00:13:30] 

[00:13:31] Jenna: Um, yeah, so I think that kinda a natural question that comes afterwards is like, okay, well what if my child is breastfeeding? Like, All the time at a year. And like I, you know, especially if you're not doing purees, where you're like monitoring exactly how much solid foods that your child's getting, which you shouldn't really be doing purees at like 13 or 14 months anyways.

[00:13:52] Jenna: But, um, what does that like look like? What, when do you get concerned that your child's maybe not eating enough solid 

[00:13:59] Krystyn: foods? [00:14:00] So my biggest concerns are usually. Specific nutrients that I know people are generally lacking in breast milk, like iron and things like that. Like the reason that we introduce solids is because of iron, right?

[00:14:12] Krystyn: Like that's generally what we're looking for. So when I have families that are breastfeeding more, what I generally try to focus on is, okay, I want you specifically to. Make sure there is iron at every single meal. Like normally my recommendation is at one to two meals per day. Make sure there's an iron source.

[00:14:28] Krystyn: I'm very chill about it with those [00:14:30] families. I'm like, no, we are having it at every single meal because if your child doesn't eat it at one, I wanna make sure that it's at another, they don't eat it at that meal. I wanna make sure it's at another, you know, I wanna make sure that we're getting those nutrients that they really need to, you know.

[00:14:42] Krystyn: Many different times a day so that they don't eat a lot at one. They're getting it at another option, but it's very individualized. It kind of depends on what the kid's eating and what I think the kid is needing. So it's, it's kind of hard to make like blanket recommendations of course. But um, I do try to prioritize getting in some of those [00:15:00] solid food just to make sure that they are getting some of those nutrients that.

[00:15:03] Krystyn: They need, because breast milk is amazing and it does adapt, but there's certain things that we need solid food for, right? Mm-hmm. So I try to focus on those key nutrients and making sure that families are getting, or at least prioritizing those nutrients and then everything else, whatever. But you know, those.

[00:15:19] Krystyn: Key things that I know that those kids need, I focus on those first and we can kind of worry about the rest of it later. 

[00:15:26] Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. So what would be some, um, options [00:15:30] for iron-rich foods? I know we have like meat and I think that most people think about that, but mm-hmm. Not all kids wanna eat it or not all families eat a lot of it.

[00:15:38] Jenna: Yeah. So what are some other iron rich options? Might be good. Toddler food. 

[00:15:43] Krystyn: My favorite is beans. Um, cuz I find that there's so many different kinds of beans that kids will like, usually one kind of bean, at least if you try enough of 'em. Um, and they're shelf stable. And like, I'm not joking when I say I used to just crack open a can of beans and like rinse them and dump them on my kids' plate and be like, I did it, you know.[00:16:00] 

[00:16:00] Krystyn: Yes, super simple. Um, so beans and lentils are really good sources. Um, iron fortified cereal, like I know cereal gets a terrible reputation, but like it is fortified, it has a ton of nutrients in it and most kids like it, so like it is a great option to have around. Um, those are big ones, but there's like, you know, net butters have it.

[00:16:20] Krystyn: A lot of, um, grains will have it as well. So it's in a lot of different foods. There's a lot of different options for it. Um, the reason that meat gets such. [00:16:30] It's known is that our bodies do absorb it better. It's um, it's has heme iron in it, which just means our body's absorbed a little bit better than the non-heme iron that's in plants.

[00:16:39] Krystyn: But you can increase the absorption of the non-heme iron in plants by pairing it with a vitamin C source. So like most fruits or vegetables have a vitamin C source in it. And then I, what I usually see is parents look at me like, okay, well now you want my kid to eat vegetables. And I'm like, okay, let's focus on the fruits.

[00:16:53] Krystyn: Cuz most kids like fruits, right? The vegetables. So it's like, it's working. This is, this is what I do for a living, right? This is how I work with [00:17:00] parents is I try to figure out what foods I think their kids will like and how I can pair them with other foods that their kids will like to kind of Right.

[00:17:05] Krystyn: Make their meals complete. But even, even like 

[00:17:07] Jenna: white potatoe or like breast potatoes have like vitamin C and oven substitute. Yes, exactly. To be like OB obscure vegetables, like ale or something that you're 

[00:17:15] Krystyn: Exactly, yeah. Like. Everything has nutrients in it. You just have to kind of sometimes think outta the box.

[00:17:21] Krystyn: And so, right. One of the things I always do with parents is have them list out literally like every food they can think of that their kid eats. That way I can pull from that and be like, like you said, okay, this one has the vitamin C in it. Your [00:17:30] kid already eats it. Let's throw that on the plate. Um, you know, we can, we can make things work.

[00:17:34] Krystyn: So it's, it's pairing, like I said, pairing the iron food with some kind of a vitamin C source. Will help abs help their bodies absorb it. And the other thing is, if you're already iron deficient, your body absorbs iron better too. So that helps it too. Ah. Um, and then there's other things that you can do.

[00:17:49] Krystyn: You can cook and cast iron your body or the, I was gonna say the hands will help. Iron will absorb some of that. Um, there's this little fish thing that you can buy. It's called a lucky iron fish that you can throw in a pot of food and it'll leach out [00:18:00] some iron that way. So there's like some unconventional ways that you can do it.

[00:18:03] Krystyn: And then obviously there's supplementation as well. But I try to go, that's my last resort. I try to get it through food first and then some of these other different ways, and then supplementation if we have to. Um, it usually causes constipation in kids and then that causes them not to eat as well. And then, you know, right, right.

[00:18:18] Krystyn: That causes other problems. So I try to, you know, save that. If I need it, obviously I'll use it, but, you know, usually we can find some food that a kid likes off of, you know, my list of iron containing foods, and then we work from [00:18:30] there and try to expand it from there. Yeah, I 

[00:18:33] Jenna: think that that's super helpful.

[00:18:35] Jenna: And I feel like if I was listening to this podcast, I might be getting overwhelmed at the idea that I have to be like thinking that hard about my kids every single plate of food, but at the same time, like, um, I think that that's super, super helpful. And just to like clarify that. How would you clarify, just to simplify that?

[00:18:56] Jenna: Mm-hmm. Like what you're talking about is putting like a source of iron, which you were [00:19:00] like beans or meat or you know, like you have these things and literally a fruit or a vegetable on a plate. Mm-hmm. So like, it's not like, it's not like a, it's not that hard wild thing to be like, like you're gonna be making food and putting it on plates anyways.

[00:19:13] Jenna: Um, yeah. But I think that that actually kind of leads into the another topic, which should be, um, Even just the, okay, so the child's breastfeeding like all the time, and then you are like, okay, what kind of nutrients do we need to fill in? Like what are the gaps that we need to fill in as we're [00:19:30] moving into this?

[00:19:30] Jenna: Like as they're what I would call weaning. I had a, just a conversation in my last episode. Oh, not last, last one I released when I'm, at the time I'm recording. I'm not sure exactly when this will come out, but talking about how like the words in breastfeeding are just like, so, oh yeah. So it's like, well, what does weaning mean?

[00:19:46] Jenna: Okay. So if we're talking about when we're starting solid foods, then you're weaning for quite some time, right? Like, so you're in this weaning process, right? So like supporting that weaning process, that transition, exactly what you're talking about from a liquid [00:20:00] diet to like a solid food diet. The weaning process.

[00:20:03] Jenna: Right, right. So as you're in that transition, then you're looking for, okay, well if they're eating, if they're breastfeeding a lot, then we're just looking to make sure that they're getting ironed, because that's one nutrient that breast milk won't be able to adequately meet the needs for at this age. Yes.

[00:20:18] Jenna: Um, so then you're like, okay, well if we're looking at our, the foods that we're offering to them, um, then we're gonna pick these iron rich foods and we're gonna pair it with a, a vitamin C source and, and offer it. [00:20:30] What does the, I I'm kind of leading you in because I know that this is what you talk about, but like, if we're gonna talk about what does it look like to like, offer your child food, right?

[00:20:41] Jenna: Like if we're talking about like this, like stressing out about how much your kid's eating, and then we have these picky eatings and we're trying to control what they're eating. And I, I know you were like, well, let's just keep offering it to. Throughout the day so that they like have those options there.

[00:20:55] Jenna: Um, but I think that that's what becomes really stressful. I know like it becomes super stressful at the beginning of the [00:21:00] breastfeeding journey, not being able to control what your child is putting into their own body. Um, and I mean, that's kind of the work I do when we kind of get into these control mindsets.

[00:21:10] Jenna: We kind of set up these power struggles and everything gets really difficult and then our child's responding to our reactions and it all becomes like a big. Mess. Um, but we're talking about like toddlers, which are like notoriously known for saying no. Yeah, exactly. Like this is difficult. Right. [00:21:30] So what are some, um, like what's the kind of like overarching approach that you would present to parents who are in this position of like, not wanting to get into a power struggle over food, not wanting to super stress about it, seeing that these are the needs that are here, but like, how does.

[00:21:46] Jenna: How does that work? 

[00:21:48] Krystyn: So I use, I kind of modify it, but the basic overarching structure is called the division of responsibility. And basically what that means is we break up feeding into your job and your child's job. [00:22:00] So your job as the adult is to determine what is offered and then when and where you offer it.

[00:22:05] Krystyn: So you put the food on the plate, you determine where that plate is, hopefully at like a table, um, somewhere safe, and then you determine when you offer your meals, um, Ideally you have some kind of a structure where meals are being offered at a regular interval. Usually, um, kids need to eat every two to three hours, whether that's breast milk or that is a meal, like somewhere that, in that frequency, that's usually what kids need to be eating.

[00:22:29] Krystyn: Um, [00:22:30] your child's job is to determine what they eat and then how much they eat. So once you put that plate on the table, your job is done. Uh, they decide what on that plate they're going to eat, they decide how much of it they're going to eat. Um, there are. Some reasons that you would limit them. Like if you only have one tray of blueberries and you need it to go to the whole family, you can definitely cut them off because it needs to, you know.

[00:22:55] Krystyn: Needs to be enough for the whole family. Or if you know there's a financial reason that you need to cut them off, [00:23:00] that's fine, but you don't cut them off because you're worried that they're eating too many blueberries or that, um, often what happens is with sweets, you're worried, you know, oh my gosh, they're having too much sugar.

[00:23:09] Krystyn: You are not in control of that. They're in control of that. If they have too much sugar and they feel sick after, that's a lesson that they need to learn. So that. In the future, they go, last time I had 17 pieces of cake, I felt terrible. Maybe I shouldn't have 17 pieces of cake. We can tell them that all we want, but like the way that they're going to learn is by actually doing it.

[00:23:27] Krystyn: And what ends up happening and what shocks most [00:23:30] people is that kids generally stop themselves before they get sick. It's very rare that kids like. Overdo it unless we have been restricting them in the past, in which case they will 100% overdo it because they have this mindset of, oh shoot, there's this thing in front of me that I don't get very often.

[00:23:46] Krystyn: I need to eat it because I may never have it again. That's the whole mindset that we're trying to avoid. So we put them in control of it. We let them be in control of what they're eating, how much they're eating, and then what ends up happening is they intuitively eat what they need. [00:24:00] They stop when they're done and they.

[00:24:03] Krystyn: Lifelong healthy relationships with food. So we're trying to prevent that, that diet culture mentality, that restriction and binge mentality, all of that kind of stuff. We're trying to stop that right before it even happens because most kids are born intuitively and then we as the adults or you know, our parents did this, did the Clean Plate Club, or are, you know, I think you've eaten enough, or, you know, all those types of stuff have taught us that we don't know when [00:24:30] we're hungry or full.

[00:24:31] Krystyn: Mm-hmm. And that kind of messes with us. So we're trying to stop that by just letting them be in charge of it. And what ends up happening is kids, kids tend to figure it out. They tend to figure out what they need. Yes. Even if they don't intuitively know that they, they need different things, they tend to pick it up pretty quickly.

[00:24:48] Krystyn: And so when I was saying before like you can keep offering them iron riched foods, you offer it, you put it out at every meal. But they may not eat that iron-rich food at breakfast. So that's why there's another iron-rich food at lunch cuz they may. Food [00:25:00] then, you know, so you just keep putting that food out and eventually, you know, they'll eat it.

[00:25:05] Krystyn: Yeah. They'll, they'll find an iron rich food that they like or, you know, that, that sounds good to them. Um, the only like caveat to that I always like to put out there is when you're offering food is to keep your child's preferences in mind. Like you are the adult. You are in charge of what you're putting out there, but your child is also a person.

[00:25:23] Krystyn: And that's, I think, the big difference between this whole feeding philosophy and some of the, Methodologies out there is that we're [00:25:30] treating our children as people with preferences versus as little things that we control. Like you mentioned, the control. Yeah. They do have preferences and we should take that into account.

[00:25:38] Krystyn: It doesn't mean that we need to cook them their own meals every day, like that's not gonna work for 90% of families. It may work for, you know, a small percentage, but for most families that doesn't work. But we can make sure that there is something. At every meal that we know our child usually eats. And I say usually because I've met toddlers and they may love bananas one day and then hate them the next day.

[00:25:58] Krystyn: And like, you look, you're crazy for offering them [00:26:00] a banana. I get it. Um, but you put out a food that they usually eat and that way, you know, like if they don't eat, they just may not be hungry. Cuz toddlers also sometimes eat like as if they're training to run a marathon and the next day they eat as if, you know.

[00:26:14] Krystyn: They're a bird and they do, they don't touch food at all. So having a safe food out there that they normally like, lets, you know, like they just may not be that hungry today and that's fine. Or they may be eating more later. You know, it, it just kind of, It takes that pressure off of you because you know they're not eating because they're not hungry, not because [00:26:30] there's nothing there that they want to eat.

[00:26:31] Krystyn: So it kind of can take the pressure off of you too, because you don't have to worry so much about what they're eating. But the beauty of this is that without that control or without having to worry about the control, it takes all of. It should take all of your stress out of the meal so that you can just put the food out there and then be done and enjoy the meal instead of having to worry and sit there and count how many bites they're eating or mm-hmm.

[00:26:52] Krystyn: You know, do they have enough of this or do they need enough of that? Like, no, you just put the food out and then you can just sit there and enjoy it and be a person. So that's like the beauty of it is it [00:27:00] decreases the amount of stress that you're feeling, which then decreases the amount of stress that they're feeling, which just creates a better feeding environment so that everybody can.

[00:27:09] Krystyn: You know, just be more comfortable, which then makes them more likely to want to try new foods, which then helps with picky eating, and it just kind of tumbles on 

[00:27:17] Jenna: from there. Yeah. Yeah. And I talk about like, I mean, I go into like the psychology of everything, of our like, you know, flight or flight response going into overdrive.

[00:27:26] Jenna: And I mean, then our digestion isn't even working properly and [00:27:30] like, you know, like there's all these pieces that are at play. So it really, um, it's really important to have like a relaxed environment when you're eating and for your child to actually be able to know their hunger and fullness cues. And for you too, you're, you're a human eating at the table and you need to satisfy your own, like, hunger in that.

[00:27:47] Jenna: Moment. And if you're super stressed out, it's like, it's gonna be difficult to do that too. Right. And I love to, when we're talking about, I mean, on this podcast, it's mostly moms who have been breastfeeding for, you know, a year or [00:28:00] more, and. You've likely got to this point because you've learned to respond to your child's cues early on and to trust them that they know when they've had enough milk and that you kind of have like, you know, like diaper counts and weight gain and these kind of like overarching ways of kind of monitoring and making sure that there's nothing kind of crazy going on.

[00:28:20] Jenna: But as a general rule of thumb, you're trusting your child to let you know when they're hungry and to let you know when they're full and. And I think sometimes we, like, there's a disconnect when we move into solid [00:28:30] foods that we lose that ability. Meanwhile, that's like what we've learned and what we preach and, you know, in like the lactation world, um, feed on demand, right?

[00:28:38] Jenna: Like, which is following your child's hunger and fullness cues, right? Like that's gonna be something that basically any breastfeeding course anywhere is gonna teach you to look at your child's hands. Are they tense? Are they relaxed? You know, like to watch if they're rooting, right? Like, we do all those things.

[00:28:53] Jenna: Mm-hmm. And then we move into solid foods and it's like, oh wait, now I have to, like, now I have to tell my child when they're hungry or when they're [00:29:00] full, or, um, if they need to eat more or need to eat less. And I think that that, um, like I just feel like it's a helpful, I remember the light bulb for me.

[00:29:08] Jenna: It's like, oh, this is the same thing. Yeah. I can trust them. Like I just trusted them a couple months ago, 

[00:29:15] Krystyn: you know, for that. No trust 

[00:29:17] Jenna: thees. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Um, so I think that that's like really helpful, um, for this kind of community to see. And there was something else I was gonna mention. It might be gone now, [00:29:30] but yeah.

[00:29:31] Jenna: I dunno. My brain, you know. Um, but the division of responsibility is like a really helpful, um, Like mindset to help kind of like show that where it's literally like, okay, this is your job and this is my job and we have this thing, and you know, like that's how it goes. Oh, this is what I was gonna say. Um, I know for me, like those thoughts, those diet culture things like they slip in, like they slip in.

[00:29:54] Jenna: When I'm at the table with my kids, I've been doing the division responsibility for like, I don't know, six years, right? Like, and I [00:30:00] still like. Still have these moments of, of that. And sometimes like, we'll ha, well you know that there's a dessert or there's cookies or there's something and I won't serve it with the meal, which I generally do.

[00:30:09] Jenna: Um, but it'll just be like, oh, just wait till after dinner. Right. And I know how my kids will get so hyper focused on that thing. And it's like they don't even wanna eat their food cuz they're just waiting for dinner to be done to get it. Mm-hmm. But if I just put it on the. With the, the thing they eat like two bites of the cookie or like, they don't even touch it and they'll eat the rest of the food.

[00:30:28] Jenna: And like if I just trust them [00:30:30] to trust their own bodies, it's like night and day and there's no stress in it. It's like so chill. I don't have to call it dessert, I don't have to call it anything. It's just like this is on your plate like normal and it makes things so much easier. But it's hard when we've kind of like lived in this culture to to think that that's even a possibility.

[00:30:48] Jenna: Right. Yeah. Yeah, so 

[00:30:50] Krystyn: I'm talking Yeah, it's, it's always funny to like see my six-year-old who is still very obsessed with candy. Like I. Yes, so obsessed. But it's always funny when I put stuff on [00:31:00] his plate because he likes to have it last. And so he will eat everything that he wants to eat, but he'll save his candy or what, whatever it is for last.

[00:31:07] Krystyn: But if I tell him, we're, like you said, if I tell him we're having candy after, he'll just spend the entire time talking about the candy and how he wants the candy and how the candy's over there and the candy he's gonna have. And he is just so focused on it and talking about it and obsessing over it.

[00:31:18] Krystyn: And it's just like, I know he's not eating as well because he's so focused on it, but like you said, if I just put it on the plate with it, He'll just, he knows it's there. He can see it's there. Yeah. He trusts it's there and it's not like I've ever said we're gonna have candy after dinner and then not giving it to [00:31:30] him.

[00:31:30] Krystyn: You know, where there's any reason he wouldn't trust it, but like there's that aspect of he doesn't have the control over it and it's like stressing him out. But once I give him that control, it. Just sits there and he eats the rest of his food until he knows he's good. And then he has his candy and he's done.

[00:31:42] Krystyn: And I don't have to sit there listening to him talk about it for the entire meal. Right. Yeah. Where I'm saying like if you say the word candy one more time, I swear. 

[00:31:49] Jenna: Yes, yes. My kids will just be like suddenly off their chairs and like sitting on the floor by side the counter where they know the candy and the pile.

[00:31:56] Jenna: Like how did you get there? Like, Where did you go? [00:32:00] I 1000% understand that, that dilemma. Um, and I think too, like when we're talking even about like younger kids, like I feel like before they've gotten like too much of the messaging, like overt messaging about things that they trust their bodies. Like even like they'll stop that cookie.

[00:32:16] Jenna: Like, so, like they'll take a bite and be done and just set it down. Yeah. But we're the ones who've like built it up and stressed about it so much. Yeah. Um, that it makes it like so much more stressful. Um, so I wanna go back around. I [00:32:30] know that, um, there are especially moms who have been breastfeeding who ha their child has like a dairy protein allergy or these kinds of things.

[00:32:39] Jenna: Cause I know we were talking about cow's milk at the beginning, and I'm just gonna jump all around, but I wanted to like mention this, what alternatives to cow's milk are good options if they're weaning from breastfeeding. Mm-hmm. And how long do they have to consider? Or should parents consider, um, replacing [00:33:00] that milk, like the breast milk with something else?

[00:33:03] Jenna: Does that make sense? Are you tracking? Yeah. So 

[00:33:06] Krystyn: you never need to have cows milk or another milk, like it's not a need. So if you don't wanna deal with it, you don't have to. So I'll just throw that out there as a disclaimer. Like I always say, there's no one food or drink that you absolutely need to have, right?

[00:33:21] Krystyn: So, If I list off these alternatives and you're like, I don't want any of those, just don't do it. You know, just, just focus on something else. Like there are certain nutrients [00:33:30] that we can get from cow's milk, like, um, calcium and phosphorus and protein, vitamin D. You can get those from other foods too. So just it's.

[00:33:37] Krystyn: Every food is replaceable. Um, generally the, the foods or the, the milk alternatives that we recommend. Um, soy milk is usually closest. It has the, it's usually fortified with all the same types of things. Um, in the United States. P Milk is another good option. Um, My understanding is Canada doesn't fortify the P milk though, so it doesn't have all of the different nutrients that the United States has.

[00:33:59] Krystyn: Um, I'm [00:34:00] not in Canada, so I haven't looked at it, but that's what 

[00:34:01] Jenna: I've been told. Yeah. I mean, I, I think I've bought it before, but I don't think I ever like 

[00:34:06] Krystyn: at it. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, yeah, so that's, that's a difference there. So it's not that it's a bad option, it's just that you have to make sure that you're also getting the different nutrients that aren't fortified in it.

[00:34:17] Krystyn: Right. Um, so those ones are usually the two best ones. The other alternatives like rice, milk, almond milk, all of those ones, they tend to be low in calorie, low in fat, um, which [00:34:30] is fine if you're using it in moderation for recipes, if you need like a milk in a recipe or something. But kids need a lot of energy.

[00:34:40] Krystyn: They need a lot of calories, they need a lot of fat, and those don't have it. So they don't tend to make very good milk alternatives for that reason. Um, what. They hear fat and they start panicking about it. But our brain is made of fat and kids are, you know, their brains are developing so rapidly that they have high fat needs.

[00:34:58] Krystyn: And so [00:35:00] we don't wanna limit their fat at all. And so we wanna make sure that if we are giving them something, it is high fat. So that's why I don't usually recommend, um, those other alternatives. So usually it's, um, soy milk or in the state's, P milk are usually the two, the two top ones. Um, if you're using the other ones, you just wanna make sure that.

[00:35:17] Krystyn: Getting them adequate fat, and then if they're not fortified, it's the fortification of like vitamin D and all of that kind of stuff elsewhere. So it's, it becomes tricky, especially with food allergies. Um, it's [00:35:30] really helpful if you have access to, to a dietician or something like that where you can work and see exactly which nutrients you should be focusing on because there's certain things that I can say.

[00:35:39] Krystyn: You know, mentioned calcium and vitamin D with milk. If you're not having that, you can pick those out and there's certain things that you can be like, okay, well I don't drink milk. I can look for those. But it's hard to know exactly which nutrients you're missing if you don't have someone looking over it, who knows what they're looking for.

[00:35:50] Krystyn: Right. So I can make, you know, generalizations, but it's hard to get into the specifics. Um, most babies with like cow's milk allergies [00:36:00] have the non i g. Allergy and a lot of those kids do grow out of it. So if you are working with an allergist, you can see if you can test to see if they can have cow's milk, um, once they get a little bit older.

[00:36:12] Krystyn: And then maybe you can try that as an option as well. Um, but it's. That's, you know, a whole nother process that you have to get into. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, a lot of those kids do grow out of it and are able to, to, um, have cows milk. Especially if you're talking about kids that are weaning older. They may be [00:36:30] able to tolerate it once they're, you know, after a year.

[00:36:32] Krystyn: But every. Every situation is so individualized that, again, it's hard to make recommendations like that, you know, without knowing that Yeah. All the, all the specifics. 

[00:36:41] Jenna: Yeah, totally. I'm trying to think of the questions that I get in my inbox that come through, you know, like that. I see all the Facebook groups where moms are like, okay, wait, uh, I need to start.

[00:36:50] Jenna: Giving cows milk, I think, but maybe not, but like, I'm supposed to be breastfeeding, but then I'm also supposed to be doing this, and I'm supposed to, it's also like, [00:37:00] well, I have you here. Let's pick your brain, 

[00:37:02] Krystyn: Kristen. 

[00:37:04] Jenna: Um, yeah. Okay. So what I'm hearing is that like, if you're. Like over a year, and your child is getting tons of solid foods, lots of varied diet, lots of nutrients, and they're mostly like they're having some water for hydration.

[00:37:18] Jenna: That, that's like not necessarily the end of the world. Um, and, and also that liquid nutrition has like a, a pretty important place in those, like I'm, I'm [00:37:30] assuming from like 12 to 24 months kind of age range. Yeah. And that you're looking for something that has those like fortified nutrients so that they're getting, you're getting a good bang for your buck there as well as calories and fat is what I'm hearing, right?

[00:37:44] Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Um, yeah. Is there anything, any, um, anything you wanted to cover before we kind of like wrap up for 

[00:37:53] Krystyn: today? No, I think that's, that's a lot of it. Like you had mentioned, like there's just, it's so hard cuz every [00:38:00] breastfeeding journey is obviously so different. And then Yes, once you get past a year it's, I just, I feel for all of the parents out there cuz it's, there's just so little support.

[00:38:08] Krystyn: There's so little information and then you're trying to figure it all out while he's getting all of these like conflicting messages. And then your pediatrician starts telling you there's no nutrition whatsoever in your breast milk, which is just a hundred percent not true. There's so much nutrition in there, like, yeah, it's not a hundred percent of your baby's nutrition, but like, It doesn't mean it's useless, you know, it has so much in it.

[00:38:26] Krystyn: So it's just, there's so much information and it's just all so [00:38:30] overwhelming. Um, and I just, I just feel for all the parents, 

[00:38:33] Jenna: it's so hard. Yeah. It's, it's, and I think that actually that is like really important while we have you here to just be like, absolutely. Breast milk has nutrition for as long as it's being given, and that doesn't ever go away.

[00:38:45] Jenna: Yes, yes. Or stop being an important piece of your child's diet. It doesn't necessarily have to be the only piece or have to continue on forever, but it's an important piece while it's 

[00:38:54] Krystyn: there. Right, exactly. Exactly. 

[00:38:58] Jenna: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, [00:39:00] And yeah, and like you said, like that the pediatricians just don't necessarily like know.

[00:39:05] Jenna: And that's not, I'm gonna say it if you're not gonna say it, but like, they're not dieticians and so like, if you're struggling with, if you're struggling, they're also not lact patient consultants. Um, but if you're struggling with. Uh, feeding your child to reach out to a registered dietician, reach out to Kristen.

[00:39:23] Jenna: Um, she's amazing. She's all all over. I always, you know, you're always, I feel like so active on social media. I'm always seeing like new [00:39:30] stuff from you and I love it. Um, so why don't you let everybody know where they can find you and what you've kind of got going on, how they can work with you. So, 

[00:39:38] Krystyn: um, you can go to my website, which is just feeding made easy dot.

[00:39:43] Krystyn: Um, I'm most active on Instagram and my Instagram handle is just feeding, underscore made underscore easy. Um, those are probably the easiest ways to get ahold of me. But as far as working with me, I do have, I [00:40:00] do one-on-ones, but not very often. Just. I have kids and my life revolves around them and my schedule is what it is.

[00:40:09] Krystyn: Um, just being realistic. But I do have courses available to help. I have eBooks available. I have books on Amazon, so like I have a lot of resources available and honestly, I'm. Constantly available, so you can always DM me. I do question boxes all the time and I try to answer as much as I can and put out as much free information as I can, cuz I, I get it like [00:40:30] I was you, um, I was overwhelmed and I literally have a degree in nutrition and was stressed out feeding my kids.

[00:40:38] Krystyn: So I don't want other parents to have to go through that. So I do literally everything I can to make it, as you know, approachable and. Try to bring the stress down of everyone. You know, when it comes to feeding kids, it's a lot, but I try to make everything as manageable as possible, and I try to be as real as possible because, Honestly, that's just [00:41:00] who, who I am.

[00:41:01] Krystyn: Um, yeah. I struggle and I put it out there. And so yeah, you can always just reach out to me and I'll try to help however I can. 

[00:41:09] Jenna: Absolutely. And, um, I can, I can verify that, that Kristen is amazing, wonderful. Her resources are great, and I'm always like, blown away by the amount of resources that you have out there that people can access and the goodness on your Instagram.

[00:41:22] Jenna: So go follow her, check her out. And, uh, yeah, I'll catch you, um, on the next episode. [00:41:30] It was super wonderful to hang out with you today, Kristen, and thank you so much for, 

[00:41:33] Krys