51: Myth Busting Facts on Toddler Breastfeeding (empowerment for your next family holiday gathering)

Are you nervous about your next holiday get-together, worrying about unsolicited comments about your breastfeeding toddler? 

Myths and misconceptions abound when it comes to breastfeeding - and for some reason, there are people who feel they have a right to comment on your parenting. 

But have no fear!  I've got you. 

In this episode, we’re busting common myths about breastfeeding beyond the first year, using research-backed information to help you feel confident and supported in your choices. We’ll cover:

• Why breastfeeding into toddlerhood is biologically normal and globally common.
• The nutritional powerhouse of breast milk after the first year.
• Tandem feeding and breastfeeding during pregnancy: myths vs. reality.
• The truth about breast milk, cavities, and oral health.
• Benefits for both you and your child—beyond the emotional connection.

Grab your free Myth-Busting Toddler breastfeeding Fact Sheet at ownyourparentingstory.com/myths and have the facts at your fingertips for tough conversations with family, friends, or healthcare providers.

Podcast episodes mentioned: 

• Navigating Judgment Podcast Episode
• Tandem Feeding Podcast Series
• Toddler Teeth Podcast Episode
• Milk Supply Podcast Episode
• Picky Eating & Breastfeeding Podcast Episode

Grab your free guide to say "No" to the feed while still saying "yes" to the need at  www.ownyourparentingstory.com/guide

Love this episode?!  Shoot me a DM over on Instagram @own.your.parenting.story and tell me all about it. <3

Transcript

**Transcript is auto-generated**

51 - Myth Busting Toddler Breastfeeding Facts (to empower you at your next holiday gathering)

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to another episode of Start to Stop Toddler Breastfeeding. I wanted to get this episode out to you a few weeks ago but it is December here in Canada and that means sickness is rampant and my family got hit really hard over the last few weeks but we are on the mend. But this time of year is also full of family gatherings and holidays and all of that wonderfulness.

And while there are so many beautiful things about traditions and seeing loved ones, there can also be a lot of stress. There's stress just being a parent and figuring out food and nap schedules and having all the things packed, but there's also stress around conversations.

It's a time of year when you're seeing people you don't see day to day. People who [00:01:00] are wanting to make conversations (and maybe very innocently)   about how parenting is going, how your child might be sleeping. And the topic of breastfeeding comes up quite naturally in those moments.  You may or may not be breastfeeding your toddler in front of those people.  Or your toddler might even be asking to breastfeed in front of those people.

And that creates a new dynamic that maybe you have not encountered before. It's common for people to be supportive of breastfeeding. And then once your child hits a certain age, there may be people who are less supportive of breastfeeding. That's why I'm doing this episode. I really want to empower you to be able to navigate those dynamics with confidence.

I have a previous episode on navigating judgment around extended toddler breastfeeding and the link to it will be in the show notes for this episode.  But if you search for it in my podcast on my website, you can go to [00:02:00] ownyourparentingstory.com/podcast and all my episodes are there. That's a great resource for you.  

 I'm going to touch on a few of those conversation dynamics, but the other thing I want to share with you today is that I have created a myth busting toddler breastfeeding fact sheet and it's free and it's an instant download for you. If you're already on my email list, like you get emails from me, then You're going to be getting it this week, but if you're not, you can go to ownyourparentingstory.com/myths, “M Y T H S” and get your own copy of that. You'll also start to get emails from me if you'd like. Of course, you can unsubscribe at any time  but then you can make sure you're getting all the free resources that come out, It's a one page sheet with all kinds of facts that cover a range of topics. I'm going to talk more about them in this episode. And it also has two pages that follow just with references so that you can go and do your own research too.

I created it to empower you through these conversations. It can also be really helpful [00:03:00] talking with your doctor, your child's doctor or other people in your life, who you may feel like you either need to defend yourself or perhaps there are just some questions that they have that you want to be able to answer with confidence.

So that's what I created this sheet for. So let's get into the nitty gritty a little bit of navigating the conversations. I told you I already have that podcast episode, but I'm going to be, talking specifically right now, about as if you are, for example, at your mother in law's house and, your husband's Aunt Sue is quizzing you on how well your child's sleeping.

Or maybe you are at your sister's house and maybe she's pregnant and you're overhearing your cousin talking about how Important it is to wean by six months because breast milk turns to water. Right? These are dynamics in conversations that are very common. It's very [00:04:00] common to have people feel that they can share these opinions openly and that that is somehow okay.

But I would like to reassure you and support you to know that in most cases, you do not have to share the fact that you're, quote, still breastfeeding with anyone. You don't have to share how your child's sleeping. You don't have to share how much they're eating.

And if people bring that up or they make a comment about it, you do not have to engage. It is okay to walk away from those conversations and just simply not participate. It is okay to change the topic. Hey, you know, did you watch that Netflix show? Right? Or, oh look, it's snowing outside. Or, you know, did you hear about XYZ?

That's okay. It is also okay to just simply state that you are not going to talk about this, that it's not up for discussion. One of my favorite things to do when [00:05:00] people are, interrupting, sometimes they're very well meaning. Sometimes it's even friends of mine that I am so grateful for their support.

But if people are commenting or saying something, especially when I'm in a moment with my child, I just put my hand up kind of like a little stop in their general direction. Sometimes I don't even make eye contact with them, but I just say, Oh, I got this. Thanks. I got this. Thanks. I got this, thanks. Like, it is my little magic words to just let people know, hey!

It's not a confrontation. I'm not saying that you're doing anything bad or wrong. It's not an attack on them. It's just a simple statement, a fact. Really, it's a boundary, right? I got this. I got this. Thank you for your input. I got this. So those are all things that you can do, right? Because you do not have to convince anyone.

I know it's hard and it feels so lonely sometimes, but you, it's not. It's not on you [00:06:00] to do that. If you think about it, and I know that there are sometimes dynamics where this might still happen, but for most of those people, whether it's, you know, a random stranger at a lineup at Walmart when you're buying toys for Christmas or, you know, like I said, your husband's great aunt or your cousin or whomever these people are.

They're likely not people that you would just openly share the ins and outs of, you know, your food that you consumed that day and how much you have slept. in the last, you know, two months, and your bathroom schedule, and how much you're working out or not working out, right? Like, maybe it would come up in very specific circumstances and you would be sharing very certain, like, bits of information that you feel comfortable with, but it's not something that you are just expected to hand over.

That information, [00:07:00] right? In fact, I don't know, when I think about that, it feels weird. Like, why would I share all those things with you? It's just, it's not necessary, right? Like, I don't know. We have other things to talk about. Maybe if I wanted to, like, if we were sharing and it felt comfortable and it was something that I wanted to talk about, that's one thing.

But it's not something I just, you know, I'm obligated, you ask a question and I just spill out all these facts. But often we feel that way around toddler breastfeeding. And maybe you don't, but Many people do, I know I have, where the topic comes up and it's like, Oh, well, you know, we're still breastfeeding.

Oh, well, they're sleeping in our bed. Oh, you know, well, actually, you know, they are kind of picky about food, but thankfully they still get a lot of breast milk. And we just start to almost like this, like verbal, like word vomit coming out of our mouths. I know that's not a lovely metaphor, but coming out of our mouths of all of these details.

That's not required of us. You're not obligated to share that. I think it's because my [00:08:00] suspicion would be that we feel a little insecure about it. A lot of times we feel kind of out of our element and really disempowered. And maybe you don't feel this way, but I talk with parents who do feel this way, and it feels like that they deserve access to that information somehow. But a lot of times that leaves us feeling  very confused afterwards, right?

You walk away from that conversation feeling uncomfortable, feeling sad, feeling frustrated, feeling all of the things, right? And if that's the case, I think that that's just evidence that You didn't need to share that, right? It wasn't, it wasn't a healthy dynamic and a safe place for that information to come out in that way, right?

So, again, you do not have to share this information with anyone. And sometimes there are people who are genuinely interested. They really want to know. They're like oh, you're still [00:09:00] breastfeeding? Wow, like, you can still do that? And they're being genuine. And you're like, yeah, you can, right? And you want to share that information with them.    there's also sometimes people who are supportive and they just, they're, they're a little curious, right? maybe it's not that they don't know anything, but they're like, oh, how is that going?

And they just want, you know, To know a little bit more, that's great.    and there are very unique circumstances where perhaps you do have to defend yourself and your position and what's happening, and I'm so sorry that those situations do exist. I don't want to get into the details of what those could be, but if you're in a situation where genuinely you really have to put together paperwork, talk with a lawyer, that kind of thing to defend the situation that you're in There is real evidence to support you that can show and speak to not just the benefits, but how normal breastfeeding  after, you know, the first year is, et cetera  and how healthy it can be for you and for your child, right?

So, [00:10:00] There are times when you either have to defend yourself or you genuinely want to share, and then there's also times where you want some reassurance yourself. Because maybe you overheard the conversation, you're remembering past conversations, or you got caught in a really hard conversation and you walk away feeling uncomfortable and disempowered and you need some reassurance.

You need to know that what you're doing is, okay. What you're doing is the right thing for you and your family. So that's why I created this myth busting fact sheet for you and added all the references and did all those things so that you can feel empowered when you're having the conversations maybe ahead of time.

You can also hand this sheet to your doctor to you know, different people in your life who either want to learn more or, you know, they need to learn more and they can go through it. And like I said, I've attached references so they can look at the research studies, they can look at the books that I've referenced, [00:11:00] that kind of stuff, and, and learn more about it.

And also, you can go and read this sheet when you're feeling unsure. When you're feeling like, you know, You're alone in this or you're not sure if this is the right choice for you and your child right now.    so in that sheet, and like I said, you can grab that on my website at ownyourparentingstory. com slash myths.

But I cover five different areas and I give a few stats and a few facts, I should say, for each one. So, For the rest of the podcast, I'm going to go through each of the categories and I'm going to give you one or two for each one. And then obviously there's more on the sheet if you want to go and grab that too.

So the first area is breastfeeding beyond the first year is normal. It is normal. So when we look at the leading health organizations in Canada, the U. S., and the U. K., as well as the World Health Organization, they all recommend children being Breastfed exclusively, that means [00:12:00] only breast milk for the first six months of life, and then continue breastfeeding for two years and beyond.

So at six months, you have the introduction of complementary solid foods. And they're called complementary solid foods. They're meant to complement breastfeeding, right? And there's a slow transition away from breastfeeding. But that can take Years. And they recommend breastfeeding for two years and beyond.

And beyond. There's no upper age limit on how long you can breastfeed for. It is normal. In fact, 45 percent of 2 year olds are breastfed worldwide. So if you're breastfeeding a 2 year old, it's like half of the other 2 year olds in the world are also breastfeeding. It's not just breastfeeding. You know, this very rare thing.

It might be rare in the society that you're in, but worldwide, it's really not. And I also want to just go back to the Canadian Pediatric Society, the American Academy of Pediatrics. These are governing bodies. [00:13:00] For pediatricians in Canada and the U.

S. If you're a pediatrician, or your family doctor, your child's primary caregiver is giving recommendations that go against those guidelines, against six months of exclusive breastfeeding  and breastfeeding for two years and beyond.

Now, of course, there are dynamics and there's situations where that might not be appropriate.    so. And I always encourage you to have a lactation expert on your care team with your child as well so you can be getting multiple points of view and perspectives and experience, right, as you're making decisions.

But if they're just blanket statements saying  you should be, you know, you should be weaned by now, or your child needs to be drinking cow's milk  and your toddler is still breastfeeding, they are going against The guidelines and recommendations of their governing body. And that's kind of a problem.

Now you can do with that information what you want, but I want you to know that. So you can bring that up and [00:14:00] say, this is what your governing body says, and if you're not in Canada or the U S or the UK, the world health organization also has those guidelines, but different countries will have  different organizations, right?

For, for, that country and you can often look up their guidelines on the internet. So no matter where you are in the world, you can look up those guidelines and, and see for yourself what your, country has set up as recommendations and guidelines for breastfeeding. A lot of them do, have recommendations that are in line with the World Health Organization when it comes to breastfeeding.

   okay, let's go on to the next one. So healthy. Okay, let's talk about Breast milk, being healthy after the first year of life. A lot of times people like to say that breast milk, quote, turns to water after a certain age, or it's more for mom than it is for the child, or it's just for comfort. I'm using air quotes.

So there's lots and lots and lots of things I could talk about when we're talking about [00:15:00] the health benefits and aspects of breastfeeding past the first year of life.    but what I'm going to talk about here and now is the fact that 448 milliliters of human milk from ages like 12 to 24 months. So that's a mother who's been breastfeeding for 12 months all the way to 24 months provides 29 percent of energy requirements like calories.

43 percent of protein requirements. 36 percent of calcium requirements. 75 percent of vitamin A requirements. 76 percent of folate requirements. 60 percent of vitamin C requirements. And 94 percent of vitamin B12 requirements. That is nutrition packed. That is very far from water. Very far from water and very far from just comfort too.

 Keep those stats in your back [00:16:00] pocket, right? Even if you just memorize one of them, that's important. But if you're a toddler, it feels like you cannot get them to eat protein. I mean, they're getting almost half of the protein requirements that they need if they are drinking  two cups of human milk a day.

 Now, what if your toddler doesn't seem to be drinking that much volume? And I do have a whole episode on milk supply and drying up and building supply and decreasing supply. So you can go over to that episode if you want and get a lot more details on this. I just don't have the time in this podcast episode to go through all of that.

But just because your breasts don't feel full anymore does not mean that your toddler isn't getting a lot of milk. Just because your Toddler breastfeeds very quickly or only a few times in the day doesn't mean they're not getting a lot of milk either. But even if they're only getting a few drops of milk, your breast milk is still teeming with immune support.

In fact, a lot of the immunological components of [00:17:00] breast milk increase in concentration as the supply is decreasing. So of that, let's say 448 milliliters of human milk, right? You're going to have a certain amount of immunological support in that.    and as that volume goes down, as there's less and less milk being produced, the concentration of Immunological support increases.

So the dose stays relatively the same. Of certain things, this isn't necessarily a blanket for all of the immune support in breast milk and and whatnot, but that means that even if your child's only getting a few drops a day, they're still getting a lot of support. Perhaps even as much as they could be if they were drinking two cups of milk a day.

So you can rest assured that even if your toddler's only getting a few drips, it's more than just comfort and comfort is also beautiful and important too.    so let's talk about. Breast milk for two. [00:18:00] So breastfeeding during pregnancy as well as tandem feeding. So a lot of times you may hear from concerned family members, even from doctors, that breastfeeding during pregnancy is stealing nutrients from the baby.

As well as, I mean, that, that same statement can often be said when you're tandem feeding, that if you're breastfeeding a toddler and a newborn, that the toddler is stealing the milk from the baby, but a systemic review of all of the research to date in 2017 concluded that Data suggests that breastfeeding during pregnancy does not affect the way the pregnancies end or even birth weights.

Okay, so that means that all of the research up to that point, showed that breastfeeding during pregnancy does not change the end result of pregnancy, it doesn't increase the rates of miscarriage or c section, and it doesn't [00:19:00] impact the baby's birth weight that means you're not stealing nutrients from the baby.

You're not stealing important, you know, calories that that baby should be getting. You are also  not stealing milk from the baby once the baby is born because breastfeeding is supply and demand. That means that the fact that your toddler is breastfeeding is actually increasing your supply. This means that your newborn does not have to work as hard to keep your supply up.

It actually means more milk for the newborn. Now, I go into this in more detail in the tandem feeding series that I did. I had an episode on fertility, an episode on breastfeeding through pregnancy, and an episode on tandem feeding, but this is Like it's it's you have to switch your way of thinking about it because it can feel scary it can feel like oh, no I'm not giving my newborn enough But the reality is that if you [00:20:00] are breastfeeding a toddler and a newborn at the same time, you're actually Ensuring that there is more milk for that newborn because you're breastfeeding the toddler    again, I can go into a lot more detail about that and all those dynamics than I do in that podcast episode.

You can go back to that series and check that out if you want more information on that. So  let's talk about for a second, okay, well, this isn't a category, but it's something I want to mention. A lot of times there's this concern that breastfed toddlers are overly attached to, to their breastfeeding parent.

That they can't have a healthy relationship with maybe their other parent or other caregivers in their life. They've become too dependent and too clingy. We actually know, research shows, that breastfeeding supports a secure attachment with the breastfeeding mother. That means, so when we're talking about secure attachment, I'm talking about that in a like the scientific sense, right?

So I'm talking about like something that can actually be [00:21:00] categorized, something that can be observed and made somewhat concrete.    And we know that secure attachment with a primary caregiver in infancy is highly correlated with having a secure attachment style as an adult. And having a healthy attachment style as an adult means that you have healthy platonic and romantic relationships.

So that means that supporting a secure attachment in infancy is setting your child up for a lifetime of healthy relationship dynamics. A lifetime, healthy marriage, healthy friendships,

In no way does breastfeeding and toddlerhood inherently mean that you've created a clingy child who is quote overly attached , also attachments don't compete. So you can be securely attached to one caregiver and then securely attached to [00:22:00] another caregiver as well.

In fact, the more secure attachments that you have as a child and growing up  the more robust your own attachment system becomes. And yeah, the more impact that you have of that from that secure attachment. So they don't compete just because you're the child's attached to their parent. Breastfeeding parent doesn't mean they can't be attached to other parents and caregivers as well.

And I'm talking about secure attachment here. I'm talking about that in a scientific definition. I'm not just talking about a child that might seem like they want to be around their caregiver all the time. That's a little bit different. And then  another category that I talk about is teeth.

A lot of times you'll hear people say that breast milk, breast milk. can create cavities.    so basically once your child starts to get teeth, it's important to wean them so that you don't give them cavities. But we know that the Lactoferrin in breast milk is actually [00:23:00] protective against cavities.

That's really important. Lactoferrin in breast milk is protective against cavities. It does not cause cavities. Breastfeeding also promotes healthy oral development. And that means that their jaw and palate develop in a healthy way. That means potentially lower rates of needing braces and retainers. It also  then can in turn impact airway development.

So that means healthy sinuses, potentially, I mean, I'm making connections here based on the research. But we know that healthy airway development also means like lower rates of, having things like sleep apnea and that kind of stuff, healthier sleep, all that.

I do have an episode all about teeth and breastfeeding. If that's an area that you want to deep dive more, I have an episode on that. And then the last thing that I talk about on that fact sheet is the fact that breastfeeding is actually good for mom too. So you'll either [00:24:00] hear, or some people hear, this is all about mom.

It's not for the child anymore, it's just for mom, but then you can hear the flip side of it too, where it's like, oh, she's such a martyr. Like, she's just giving in to every demand and it's so depleting and draining her.    you know, she should, she should stop already. But we know that breastfeeding lowers the risks of many diseases in the breastfeeding parent.

So it's great for the breastfeeding child. It lowers the risks of lots of diseases for a breastfed child, but also for the breastfeeding parent, including breast cancer, ovarian endometrial and uterine cancer. It actually lowers the risk of type 2 diabetes. And for those who already have type 2 diabetes, it can lower the need for insulin.

   it lowers the rates of rheumatoid arthritis, as well as cardiovascular disease. And then, of course, breastfeeding a toddler can just make life a lot easier, right? It can mean an easier method of getting [00:25:00] to sleep.    it can be an easy method of calming a distressed child. All of that, too. And I know some of you are listening and you're like, yep, but also it's, There's a lot of stress involved, too, and I get it, and I have tons of resources if you're in that boat, but also don't undermine the benefits and the positives, too, and for many of you listening, you might have a lot of those, so Remember them when you're in the hard moments, when you're navigating hard conversations.

   And yeah, so I gave you a lot this week. Uyou can grab that myth busting sheet, right? At ownyourparentingstory.com/myths, myths with an S M Y T H S. Uh, and then there's going to be links to the episodes I talked about in the show notes. So you can go and listen to those podcast episodes as well, if you would like to.

And I will see you on the next episode.