The How To Film Weddings Show

Why The Best Wedding Films Aren't About The Couple

Jaired Sullivan

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0:00 | 20:37

Three wedding filmmakers break down the one mistake almost every videographer makes and how it's quietly hurting their wedding films. We get into how to film weddings with more intention, why the best moments have nothing to do with the couple, and how cinematic influences can change your whole style.

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SPEAKER_00

Like we're hired to tell their story, not make their story. And they are the main characters of their film, but they're not the only characters of their film.

SPEAKER_01

What if everything you think makes a great wedding film is the thing holding you back? Today's podcast, I sit down with Max from The Smiths. You can't burp. Like I can't physically burp. And Brandon from Everywhere Films. Yeah, you're right. I did say that. Yeah. In this conversation, we get into how you can actually get better at the craft. And somewhere in the middle, these two guys took us to church.

SPEAKER_02

My identity is not the films I make, and I need to remember that. Like my identity is a father and a husband, and that's how it should and always be.

SPEAKER_01

All of that more is in store for this week's episode of the How to Fam Muddy Show. Just like looking back at your early days, and I mean even today. I mean, what are things that you're doing to improve? Whether it's your business or your filmmaking, your editing? Like, are there things that you're still like staying curious about?

SPEAKER_00

This is actually one of my favorite things. Uh is it is actually second second shooting is a big part of how I feel like I grow as a filmmaker. Um there's a lot of ways you can grow, uh, but second shooting's a big way. Like, I purposely invite people um around me. I'm constantly inviting new people to shoot to film with me. And I'm constantly asking, like bringing it up to people that I admire. Like, hey, I love your work, I'd love to second for you sometime. Even for like Max, Max said no like a million times, and then finally one day I was like, I'm just gonna come film with you, if you pay me or not. And uh, like you you just pick up these nuggets from observing people and what they do and why they do it and how they do it. And then if you're the person who, you know, you have a second shooter, you get to look back at their footage and go, Oh, I like how they did this thing. I don't like how they did this thing. But like every time I work with somebody, if it's a second shooter working for me, or I'm second shooting for somebody, I notice something that they're doing that I so I like to consider myself like the Highlander, the Duncan McLeod of wedding videographers. If you don't get that reference, there were these immortals that had to decapitate their enemies to absorb their powers. So basically, I'm absorbing the powers of my friends, not enemies. So I'm the Duncan McLeod of the Wedding industry.

SPEAKER_02

He did try to decapitate me when he second shot for me, but that is true.

SPEAKER_00

He noticed the samurai sword.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I said you don't gotta go that far, just you can learn from me. Please don't kill me. But to answer your original question, Jared, like what we're doing, like to improve, like what are the things we're doing to grow. This past year, 2025, was like the year of trusting people, right? Like handing things off and delegating things. Because before 2025, I'd never outsourced, I'd never had a second shooter, I'd never had anyone shoot for me, and I did all three of those in one year. It was a big change. Um so I had two weddings that I that I actually did not shoot, and that was so so like foreign to me to hand that off to somebody. Um and very scary. Now, granted, I gave it to only people that I very much trust, so Brandon and then our friend Um Jason, J. Blickfilms plug. Um but um they both did such a killer job, and it was such a relief, like, you know, I just I knew and br and Brandon, of course, had like the worst circumstances with this wedding. He had to shoot, he was solo shooting it, and we don't need to get into it, but long story short, just it was just it was a mess timeline-wise, and like Brandon was doing the best he could with everything he had, and he killed it, and uh, and I got everything back, and I was like, okay, wow, like I can make a good film, a really good film with this stuff, and um, and then outsourcing the editing part too, uh huge step for us too. Just like not a whole bunch, just a handful to give myself a break. So it was a huge learning year for me in terms of delegating and trusting others to do things I would normally be doing, because I am kind of a control freak, uh, with both my the way I shoot, the way I edit, all that stuff. So, I don't know. It's a year of letting go and like not taking things too seriously, you know, like to to make sure that like my identity is not my business, my identity is not the films I make, and I need to remember that. Like, my identity is a father and a husband, and that's how it should and always be. Um, and if that stuff is coming after the business, then we have problems. And I I think I finally realize the importance and the weight of that in 2025. And so going into 2026, I'm excited to see I don't know, this new mindset in play.

SPEAKER_01

That's where like delegation is always like this slippery slope for a lot of people because it's like when you're so intimately connected to your craft, it's like it's almost like you're letting go of your child, right? I mean like that's the feeling. I mean, I I remember when I re I wrestled with outsourcing when I first started too, and um because from 2017 to 2021, I was I edited everything. I didn't believe in outsourcing, I didn't want to do it. Um, and then that's when like Uncut Gems had reached out and shameless plug. Uncut Gems is the official presented partner of Had of Film Wednesdays. They have edited a number of wedding films for me over the last couple years, and they do an incredible job every single time. If you're ready to kick back on the face, now is your chance to try out Uncut Gems. They have been kind enough to offer you guys 60% off your first edit when you use the code HTFW. Uncut Gems save time, scale your business, and deliver consistent galleries and films with outsourcing that you can trust. For me, what I do to kind of I guess stay fresh and um proactive and just like getting better at the craft is I lately I have just been leaning more into more cinema than like consuming wedding films. Um basically just like watching watching movies, like 90s movies, like early 2000s, because that's more like I guess that's the era I grew up in, that's where I feel connected to the most. And so I'm like, you know, and my brand's very nostalgic, it's warm, it's very family-centered, and and um I like kind of having that. Um I've had couples like tell me, like, my I guess my work kind of feels like a mix between like the parent trap and like when Harry met Sally, and I'm like, that's pretty cool. I like that. That's that's kind of nice, that's really nice. Um, and so I think that's again part to how you also develop the the style and tone that you want your brand to be. Um is just kind of like connecting with things outside of weddings. I think we can kind of tend we we tend to do that in the early days where we're like all weddings, all we do is consume wedding films. We're watching to kind of build this repetition, this this muscle memory. Um, but yeah, I've just been like leaning more into cinema and like how other directors like compose and frame and light and sculpt what they're doing, like even music and sound design. Um because like you can only really gain so much from wedding films, so I think opening your mind to um the world of cinema can really expand things and help you look at things differently.

SPEAKER_00

So almost every wedding I try to try something that I haven't tried before. Like I actually like to have a list. Like, so if I see something in cinema that I'm like, oh that's interesting. I wonder if I can translate that into a wedding. Like I wait for the right couple and then I do that. Like I did the what is it? Ah, dang it. The clan mentioned what it was, but basically it's where you like strap a camera to the couple. Oh yeah, the uh Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00

Snorry cam, is that what it was? Story cam.

SPEAKER_01

That's yes, that's it. Snorricam.

SPEAKER_00

There was this couple that uh and they just every time they talked about their wedding, it was like the party. The party. I want to have a party. I was like, okay, well, let's just like strap this camera to someone and have them walk around the reception and drink beer and cheers to people and goof off. And people were like, that looks like a scene from the hangover. And I was like, good, that's exactly what I was going for. So like uh like I'm I'm not afraid to get inspired by other wedding filmmakers. Like, you both of you two are are two that have I've always looked up to and have always inspired me. And I always see things that you guys do, and I go, Okay, how did he do that? Let's try that at this next wedding. And so there's plenty of people uh that inspire me in the wedding film industry, and if they do something that inspires me, it's like next wedding, how am I gonna implement that? How am I gonna try that? And if you're just like like I have friends that have been doing this for many a year, and I feel like they've kind of like sunk into a rut because they've just done it so many times. And I think the easiest way to start creating films that feel that don't feel quite there is by not like challenging yourself. Like to give old fill Cody Films by Stanton a shout-out now is that he challenged me to film a wedding all in handheld because when I first started, I was all like mostly gimbal, I bounced back and forth. And so one wedding I was just like fine, I'll do it, I'll challenge myself, I'll stretch myself. And I feel like that wedding uh really is one of my favorite films of all time, and it really changed like my perspective on how to film. Like I felt like I needed all my shots to be just perfectly stable, nothing could be off, and I felt like the vibe just felt um I don't know. I felt like I was more there in the room with the couple than when I was with when I had a gimbal all day, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Well, and it takes a lot of the pressure off, I feel like, not having to worry about so much gear or um especially gear that could at any second just for whatever reason just crap out on you. Yeah, go crazy like the gimbal, um, which I've had happen like mid-ceremony exit, or you're like exiting all of a sudden it just like it just like went soft on me. Alright, it just didn't it just completely tacked out. Sorry, that was uh bad phrasing. Um Keep it opening line. If you could impart any wisdom to the beginner, wedding videographer, what's what's just the you know, something that you wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self? Let's put it that way.

SPEAKER_02

Not caring so much. Um like I don't know, like there's so many variables out of your control in the wedding industry on a wedding day. And to like sweat bullets and get so stressed out when you can't get the shots you want to get. That's something at least I personally experienced so much, and I still do. And you just gotta learn to let go. Like the ultimate challenge. You you know you've leveled up as a videographer. If you can go to one of those weddings where the photographer is hogging the space, go to one of those weddings where all the variables are out of your control, nothing's going your way. If you can go to that and you can create a good film, then you've leveled up. And I know that's like so like there's so much more to it than that, right? Like that's that's the 30,000-foot view statement. But that's just that's the end game right there. Is like, what can you do when you're under the stress, when you're in the weeds? What can you create out of nothing? Because the fact, because like there's in our minds, like we watch people like sculpting with time or Josh or Stanton or whoever, right? And we think like, okay, I can do that shot. Like Brandon was saying earlier, like, like, oh, I how did you get those shots? Like, it doesn't always happen. It definitely does not always happen. There might be one or two in the day, but like a really hard pill to swallow, and that all the newbies need to swallow, is that you don't get to have all those creative shots all the time. Especially the higher you go. Like, the higher you rank up in this industry, the less you get to do. The less creative you to get get to be. If you're if you're you know, and and I don't know, at least at least that's what it's like in Michigan. I I I shouldn't maybe speak into the world because I've never I've only done like two or three ultra luxe weddings, but it was enough for me to know like, wow, like this industry can be very punishing if you are if you go into it expecting that you are directing a movie. You're not, you're not directing a movie, you're not producing it, you're not calling the shots for the wedding day, it's not your wedding day, it's theirs. And so, like, yes, there is this creative aspect of ourselves, and we want to do the storytelling, and X, Y, and Z need to fall in place for this to look good and feel good, but just those things don't always go your way. And so the sooner you accept that, the better. If you're a new person in this, the sooner you accept that, and the sooner you learn how to create good things without having those luxuries, the better. And I think if you can do something good with that, then you've definitely leveled up. But it it takes time, it take definitely does not happen overnight, and at least it didn't for me, because I'm again, like I said before, I'm kind of control freak, and I really want to have control over all those shots, and that's why, again, Jared, we were talking before the story sessions, and like I like having control over that. But the bunny day comes, you don't always get that luxury. The dog agrees with me. The dog agrees, yes. I don't know. There's a lot of things I'd say, but I think that's the biggest thing that comes to mind. It's just like learn to let go of the control on the wedding day, learn how to be creative without directing, learn how to be creative without getting to call the shots, because more times than not you won't get to call the shots. And a lot of photographers don't like an assertive videographer who likes to be creative, and that's as tough a pill as is to swallow. It's just the reality, and you can't change that reality. So, what are you gonna do to adapt? What are you gonna do to adapt to that constant scenario that you're gonna be in?

SPEAKER_00

Love that dude. I'm actually gonna piggyback off Max because I think that that's beautiful advice. Uh the portraits aren't the wedding day. Like, we're hired to tell their story, not make their story. And they are the main characters of their film, but they're not the only characters of their film. Like, there are hundreds of guests, family members, bridesmaids, groomsmen. Um they pay us to see the things that they don't have the luxury of seeing. So while they're off doing things that maybe they don't really want to do, they want to see their guests, these people that are important to them, that they're only gonna have one time in their life, all those people together. And so, like, focus on like, are those people having fun? Are they enjoying themselves? Obviously, if they're the couples at cocktail hour, it's like honestly, a lot of couples probably want to see themselves hugging their grandmother or yucking up with their college friends they may never see for the next 10 years more than themselves in a slow motion veil shot. Like, what I've started doing recently is I actually want the photographer in some of my shots because that's what was happening. Like, they were taking photos. You know, obviously during this ceremony, I don't necessarily want the photographer like standing in front of the first kiss, but if it's like family photos, like uh like I want to see the photographer interacting. I want to see, like, not just the niece being carried, like the niece getting her photo taken. I want to see the niece's mom clapping and trying to like uh get her daughter to smile, you know? Like there's so many things that are happening that are these beautiful, amazing moments that aren't a slow motion veil shot with the couple. And there's just so much gold in this, not just not just at a wedding day, but just in the world around us. Uh, but a wedding day is just a great place that it's our job as videographers to to show and feature the beauty that is always around us, but at a wedding day, like if you look around, there's so many amazing great interactions, people having a good time, silly things. Like one or I featured a jing a giant Jingle match in one of my recent weddings. Everybody cheering around this giant Jenga, and this guy, like, no, it's just like there's so much beautiful character that's happening on a wedding day that isn't like the couple kissing awkwardly when they really don't want to kiss at that moment. So just keep an eye out on the things around you.

SPEAKER_02

Brandon, that's so freaking good. Like, that's like convicting, man. That's so that's that's some convicting stuff for me. I I will say, because we were talking earlier, Jared, about how Brandon's second shot for me at that wedding. One of my favorite things, Brandon, was the amount of time, the amount of angles I got of random people during the speeches. Like the reactions of people and like the the at the ceremony and like and the kata hour, like, dude, you are a master, and there is you are second to none when it comes to capturing just people.

SPEAKER_01

No, both of those perspectives were so good. I feel like both of you guys just took us to church for a second, and I felt like I was just kind of floating, just listening to you guys. Like I was just that that's what you're doing. We were pastors at one point. So I was gonna say you're you you were both pastors, you brought that into this episode, and that's exactly what we need to do.

SPEAKER_02

We're now gonna have an altar call. Everyone that's on this podcast right now, come to the altar. Jesus is waiting for you.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna lead us out in worship. So, you know, we're gonna have to close your eyes. I don't have my I don't have my guitar, but it'll be like I have my guitar over here. I can I can start. Um yeah, for anyone who's listening who hasn't stumbled upon your beautiful work, I would love for them to check you guys out and connect and see all the all the amazing things that you're you're putting out there in the in the wedding world. So where can where can people find you?

SPEAKER_02

You can find us at thesmiths.film on Instagram. Or at www.themsmiths.film website. We keep it pretty simple, but we are not on TikTok.

SPEAKER_00

You can find me at wedding cake on OnlyFans. Uh just kidding. Just kidding. If you want a peek of the cheeks, this you want to take if you wanna see a little bit of this wedding cake. No, just kidding. Uh Instagram and everwear films, not underwear films, not everywhere films, and then it's his only fans bear.

SPEAKER_01

How many times do people get that wrong?

SPEAKER_00

Wrong all the time. But it has so much meaning to me that I can't change it.

SPEAKER_01

So, yeah, whatever. Well, it was big win media first.

SPEAKER_00

It was big win for small business, and then I was like, I like weddings more than small business promotions. So I'll be everywhere.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you guys so much for everyone listening. If you found this episode helpful and valuable, I'd love it if you would rate review the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or just send me a comment on YouTube. I'd love to hear from you. So until next time, we'll see ya.