Etero o gay, l'amore funziona davvero in modo diverso?

In questo episodio Silvia è di nuovo in compagnia di Sarah, già ospite nella puntata precedente dedicata a energy e confidence, e questa volta si aggiunge anche Stefano, amico italiano che vive a Sydney da anni.

Si parte da dove avevano lasciato: quanto tempo serve per innamorarsi davvero, e come la confidence influenza il modo in cui veniamo percepiti in una relazione. Ma il cuore della puntata è il confronto tra dating etero e dating queer: le aspettative diverse, gli stereotipi, il ruolo della sessualità fin dal primo appuntamento, e quanto la cultura in cui si cresce plasmi il modo di vivere l'amore.

Stefano racconta anche la sua storia: crescere queer vicino Milano, la decisione di trasferirsi in Australia per trovare un posto dove essere davvero se stesso, e le differenze enormi tra la vita queer in Italia e quella a Sydney, tra locali, eventi e un armadio che qui si apre molto più facilmente.

Si parla di love languages, di liste di qualità nel partner ideale che poi si infrangono sempre davanti alla persona sbagliata (o giusta), e di quanto la paura del rifiuto guidi le nostre scelte in amore.

Ovunque voi siate e qualunque cosa voi stiate facendo… buon ascolto 🎧

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Benvenuti ragazzi a un nuovo episodio di Italiani in Australia. Io sono Silvia e sono qui ancora con Sara, che era stata ospite la puntata scorsa in cui avevamo fatto un episodio standard del podcast dove abbiamo parlato di energy and confidence. Ma prima che iniziamo ovviamente a spacchettare il tutto, perché non c'è solo Sara, in questo caso. Abbiamo portato sul nostro tavolo di discussione anche il nostro amico Stefano. Quindi let's switch to English so everyone can understand, and everyone can be part of the conversation. Stefano is Italian, of course. But we need obviously to speak English. So, how are you guys?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Amazingly well.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Yeah. Ready to be part of this uh big project? Hallelujah! Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Um, so just to give it a bit of context for the people that they were not, they didn't listen to our episode last our episode last time. So um we did talk about confidence and energy and on how confidence can affect the way that a person is perceived, obviously, um, from the outside world. Um, I think probably Sarah is the best person to just give a a bit of a highlight of the previous episodes.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Yeah, so in our last episode, we talked mainly around what uh what confidence looks like in a person, uh, whether that's external or internal, and how that translates into the energetic world as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Yeah, that's pretty good. And then obviously, the more that we were talking about this, the more that we were tapping into how confidence can actually translate in dating in romantic relationships because at the end of the day, we all strive to have that deep and personal connection with someone. So um, I wanna open this episode asking you both, and then um I want to explain why Stefano is here with us and why it's important to have his point of view. So um, I wanted to ask you both, how long would it, if it happened to you in the past, if you've ever been in love, if you were in love in the past, how long did it take to you to actually fall in love with someone?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I think we were talking about that when we didn't wanna.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

Yeah, we did, and the question, the way that you guys were saying it actually sparked something, and I was like, this is a great question, and I'm gonna open the episode with that.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yes, it's great. You do you want to go first? Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

You got a good little story.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Um, yeah, I do. I do have a few stories. Look, you can fall in love in a couple of hours, and uh in like over a weekend, you're just absolutely in love with the person, and there's this energy between the you two, and like you don't even know where is this energy coming from, and like that it's just so electric, it's house on fire.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

How would you describe you okay? You said electric on fire. How would you describe it like more in detail besides? Okay, um, are there any indicators when you get to know the person that you would be like, oh shit, this is actually something?

SPEAKER_00 3:39

So I would I would say for me it would be the heart rate will go up. Um, and I'm I feel it like oh my god, like I I'm just like absolutely thrilled to be here. I'm like, I can't wait to see you again. Um I'm absolutely like I'm I'm I'm absolutely uh you know just so joyful.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Wouldn't you confuse that with infatuation? No passion and not love.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

I don't think so because uh I think they're two very different um they're very different. So it's just you know when someone someone is right for you. You know what um it's just there is something there that you can't even explain. It's a feeling, it's it's in the vibe, it's in the in the air, um and you just want to spend more time with this person and you don't know even why love is a chemical reaction, isn't it? Yeah, it's it's in your brain. Yeah, it's in your brain. Um what would you say?

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Um I I just find it very hard to explain what uh chemical reaction happens in our brain when and it's a true response because it's really hard to verbally articulate how one feels when when you feel the feelings that you do when you're in that state. You know, we were talking earlier about, you know, do we believe it love at first sight? Yeah, yeah, and we both had that. I don't know about you still, but we both had that um reaction of yeah, we've had that before.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

I don't know, like at that crazy level, like in the not, but what I can tell you is I can tell you straight away if I can be interested in a person or not. So the first moment that I would see the person that is actually something could be anything, like from I don't know, smile or whatever thing that would grab my attention and be like, yes, this person is a yes. Based on a smile, based on on something, it could be anything like a little movement or or something, and I could be like, yes, and that's when that maybe that chemical reaction that is that you we were talking about that would start the process. Um, it did never happen to me, like fall in love within two hours and get mental about it, never, um, but I do respect that if it happens with someone else.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

It's like anything in life, unless you experience it, you can't you can't really fathom it, I guess. Yeah, until it's like until it happens to you, you don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Yeah, and and and I feel like we all have our own way to sort of live through those experiences because it could be our culture, could be the way that we are, could be the way that we are raised. And I feel like this is important because we in this scenario here that we are talking about confidence and leading, it's really important to explain why Stefan is here and why his perspective perspective can be a little bit different from ours.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Yeah, look, I um I'm a 32 years old man, gay man, I would say. Um I was born and raised uh outside Milan, and um look when I was 19 I decided to come to Australia. Now, the reason why I decided to come to Australia is because I want to find the furthest country away from Italy, and that was either Australia or New Zealand. Okay. The reason being was I was gay, uh I was I wasn't out with my parents, and I was basically, you know, I'm like it was a culture that wouldn't resonate with myself, and I was stuck, not stuck, but I was like, I need to find my way into the world.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

How did you find it? Obviously, you didn't fit, which is wrong because we all fit, but um how did it make you feel to be in a society in which they didn't understand a different way to be that it was the classic that was imposed by religion or culture or tradition?

SPEAKER_01 8:07

It makes it both really, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Yeah, yeah. Um look, I have to say, you know, I we grew up with stereotypes, you know, uh stereotypes the wife and the husband, and you know, like we for us was a very different um we we learn love late in life. Yeah, um, I would say like you probably grew up with like you know, watching TV shows with you know people that were like straight couples, uh, and you kind of had an idea of what being straight looked like and what a being a sorry, what a being a couple look like. For us would be more difficult. Um, because obviously, you know, like you get to go to the movies with your uh with your with the person you're dating, and your parents will have an old dialogue or old conversation about oh, how was the date? How did it go? And for us it's different, obviously. It was yeah, it's different.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

There's almost a cloak of invisibility back back when you were growing up, and you know, I'm not I don't know when you came out, that's your own business, but you know, I know I've got two gay brothers and I I love them dearly, but I distinctly remember, you know, decades ago when they were coming out, their um their experiences in dating were under a cloak of invisibility because it wasn't common. And and you know, being European Catholic, that's what we how we were raised, it's the same the same issue.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Do you think that it's because we had fear of being judged? You had fear or whatever maybe your parents were thinking about you, or because I had a friend at UNI that had a similar story and he was pretending not to be gay. He was from Puglia and he was not pretending to be gay when he was going back to Puglia to visit his family over holiday time. He was living in Milan with me while we were studying, but he was just pretending.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Two identity in some way.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Yes, because it was like it's just easier to do it this way because they would never understand, because my mom thinks she would have grandchildren, and I mean I don't want to tell her that it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Like, yeah, look, some of the things kind of get lost in translation, you know, as as we can say, like some of the things that just happen because, yeah, um, stereotype, and you kind of fearful of what your parents, what your grandmother, what your sister, what your neighbor, because some people have neighbors on the committee, like you know, everyone has a committee in their head, and I had my neighbors as well. You know, what my neighbors in myself who was in my committee, what would my neighbor think about it? And at the end of the day, nobody cares. It's like at the end of the day, like they, you know, who you are who you are.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

Yeah, of course. But did you feel like you couldn't be who you actually were?

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Yeah, yeah, and absolutely, and that's one of the reasons why I decided to uh study in different countries. Like I studied in Brazil, I studied in Portugal, um, and then I moved to uh Bologna, and then I came to Australia. So for me, it was always like moving because for me, moving was my safe place.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

You are a bit nomad. I love you you love change every time to another country, and then you landed here, and obviously there are big differences compared to Italy. And uh, do you feel like you can be truly yourself here?

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, no, and there's no filters. I'm like everyone knows me. Um, I over sometimes I overshare.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

No, no, it's fine with friends, it's fine, and of course, when it comes to dating, we we want to know the juicy details. Yeah, we want to say every time that we cannot say because it's censored, we can't it's filtered all that part. But um, what are the differences you guys are thinking that that there is there are between uh same same-sex dating and then heterosexual dating? You wanna go first?

SPEAKER_01 12:06

Question for me. Well, I mean, I guess I guess we'll share our own experiences and then you know we'll understand what the differences are. Um I think you know, Stefano, you know, I never thought about it like this by the way, in terms of for heterosexual dating, it's all around us. We grew up with our parents generally, they're you know, back in the day, a woman and a man, and being your mum and dad, and you see your grandparents, and they're generally a man and a woman, and you know, and all your movies and all your uh children's books and whatnot, every bit of content around you is a man and a woman. So, in that regard, I never really thought about until recent years that you know um same-sex dating has become more acceptable in society, that there is more content in books and in the podcasts and movies with you know um same-sex persons. So that's an interesting point. So I think that would be one of the slight contrasts is that you know, heterosexual dating is a lot more visible, um, but that's certainly not um relevant anymore for modern-day dating. I do think, and I can only speak from a place where obviously I'm heterosexual, um, and having two gay brothers and I know their dating experiences, that I do find there's more expectations around heterosexual dating. There is um gender roles that we see. So we still want traditional people still want gender roles to be played out where the man is the man and the masculine one and the woman is the feminine one. Um, and those lines are skewed now, anyway, you know, with what gender roles look like. Um, where I find that gay, and I can't talk for gay dating or same-sex dating, but um from my friends and my brothers, I find that it can sometimes be a little bit more transactional, a little bit more fleeting. Um, and you're probably not so more you're not so concerned as much as HRs are around the end goal, which is like marriage and children.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

But that's what would you know? Your end goal in a relationship, like to find companionship and someone that you could share something a bit more substantial.

SPEAKER_00 14:10

It's a different, it's a tricky question because um I have a lot of companionship. I have a lot of people I can talk to, I can on a on a very deep, deep, deep and meaningful level. Um, have you know, I I I can be around a lot of people all the time and I never feel lonely. So I don't know what I'm after in a relationship. What I know is like in a in a gay relationship, I would say it's like obviously gay relationship, they try to break the boundaries, the traditional boundaries with the gay relationship or queer relationship here, I should say. Uh they kind of you know they they're more like things a bit more fluid.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

Do you do you think you guys are more direct? You you you're not getting lost in thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Yes, absolutely. And and also for us, like sexuality is a is a big thing, plays a huge part. Whereas uh in heterosexual uh relationship, I feel like there's always a bit of more of a shame when you know uh sexuality is involved or not. What do you mean? Not as pure, like let's say uh you go on a first date and you uh happen to have a uh a sexual encounter on the first date.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Um like how you say encounter just to be classy. I love that, yeah, yeah. It's a classy and that's the politically correct of that.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

And I went for a sexual encounter on Sunday night. And on Monday night.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Not a true story, guys. Uh but in a in a gay relationship, I guess is um if if you do connect, um you um it's there's just no shame. Like in the sexuality. No shame in the sexual encounter at the first date. Whereas for I feel like it's very different for uh eterosexuality.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

I don't know, it's questionable because sometimes you you go out with someone and you just feel like you want to do it, so why not? But I tend to, even though I like the guy, if I actually really like the guy, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Why is that? I would park it there. Is that a personal thing or is that a heterosexually related thing? And that's the question, man.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

I don't I don't know, but he just said that they're not following these stereotypes.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

So what I'm saying is like because you have some shame around it?

SPEAKER_03 16:44

No, it's not shame, but because if you actually like the guy, you don't you don't want to come across someone that would have sex straight away with a guy, so you sort of want to give it the right weight.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

It could be if there is shame around that. That that's really you said, like, you know, you don't want to come across someone who has sex with a guy in the face, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

Because a guy, if the if he's after a relationship, they wouldn't stick around if they think you're easy, yeah. Because otherwise, I mean it's easy to go to the pub and pick up a girl and think.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Yeah, we don't have those barriers in gay relationships. You don't get relationships. No, you don't. The barriers are down, and like let's also get straight to the point.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Is it almost the opposite whereby if you don't have sex on the first encounter, it's exactly yeah, that they didn't go well. That they didn't go well. So for us, it's exactly that's uh maybe that's probably one of the most key differences between hetero, hetero and gay daddy if we want to use just slang terms, you know. Um, I tend to agree with you still. I think there's an element of um, you know, I think there's also culture, like we're both European cultured, so I think there's an element of that. There's an element of age where you know we grew up in the 80s, if I can say that. We won't say what you, but we grew up in the 80s.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

That makes me look so odd.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, but you look like you were born in the 2000s, 2000 decades ago. You just shifted, did you say that? But the point being is that we were raised to be the good girl, and we were, we were raised to be the good girl, and the good girl um, you know, uh becomes a virgin until they get married and whatnot.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

And that's yeah, but that's absolutely utopic, you know, it's possible. I don't think this is happening.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Yes, but there is still um when we're talking about key differences between hetero and same sex, and you know, there is an element of you know, it's the old school. Do you wait three days before you sleep with the person and whatnot? And that is a difference where you know you articulate it perfectly. It's the old school.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

I feel I feel like they they decide more based on instinct, I'd say. Like it's just how you feel like it. How do you feel in that specific moment? And obviously, they they don't put a break on it, they would be just like go with the floor and see how it goes.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

And I'll go, I feel like I will go back to the camps, uh chemistry of the night. Like, how what do you feel? Like, what's the energy on that on the dinner table when you're sitting opposite and you're like, oh my god, I'm like, it's just it's fantastic, it's a lesson, and you can't wait.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Yeah. Do you think that in our heterosexual dating, we sort of tend to interview the other person?

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Oh we go on for a job interview every time we go out on the table. I've got my CD ready, and uh in 1992 I worked for this company, I lasted three three years, and then I went on to bigger and better things.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

This is like that brought me again to one top of my head. I was just thinking, do you guys have your own list on attributes that the other person should have? Do you have your own list?

SPEAKER_00 19:58

No, I don't. No, because you must have some non-negotiables or something to put in there that you'd be like, Well, okay, well, there are some things I tremendously enjoy, and I would like the other person to enjoy as much as I do. Um and if it's not the case, I will always like you know, sorry, but we're not a good match. Um yeah, I I don't know, it's um I just don't have preset standards or like you know that I'm very wary of what I like, and the the other person needs to like um same things. Yeah, like we need to be on the same page, really.

SPEAKER_03 20:42

And that and that is true because every time that I'm because obviously in my head, I have a list. I have it needs to have this, this, this, doesn't have, doesn't need to have that, that, that. But at the end of the day, it always ends like that I like guys that they don't have all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

You go off your list.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

I really go off my list. Maybe out of ten, they would have probably one or two, but the other eight is literally complete opposite of what I'm actually putting on that list.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

And why do you think that is? What do you what do you put that down to? Because if you've got a practical list in front of you, but you've gone for something that is completely opposite.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Because that's probably if I go for something different, that's what I I actually value, which is not maybe not the job that the person does, or if the person is not really tall, or if the person like doesn't have specific things or it's not fit or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Like, yeah, it's it's sort of like what you think you want versus what actually transpires in the moment. You know, it's it's completely different. I don't have a list, by the way. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

Look how surprised you are. I think I think every girl should have a list. Even though it's just because you can say at the end when you find your final partner, then you'll be like, See, I didn't follow it.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

I don't think I care about that at all. I don't really care about height. I don't care about green eyes, blue eyes. I don't I really um there's there's particular things, I guess. Values are huge. Like that is so if we do talk about a list, you know, I don't like the traditional meaning of a list, which is like must earn this much, must look like this. Like I really don't like the superficial things. Um, but for me it's more about what kind of person they are, you know, do they have the same values in terms of families? And I don't like we talk about age, but I'm in an age bracket where I'm starting to think about those things. So my list looks more along the lines of value system and alignment in that regard.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Yeah, of course. And I think we we would probably do the same thing, even though if we don't talk about superficial stuff, I just think in the person needs to be presented and then it comes back to outside confidence that we discussed in the last episode. It needs to be presented at a certain level that it's acceptable for us.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Yeah, like Jason Memoa or something like that, George Clooney, you know. No, George Clooney never told me a story.

unknown 23:03

No.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Really? And you're Italian.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

Yeah, but George Clooney is not. Oh yeah, that's true. If he buys the house, that's nothing. That's the net housing. That's an entire thing to make Italian.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yeah, it's like you're an honorary Australian. But um no no, I've got a passport. What are you talking about? Yeah, but you're still an honorary, you're still not Australian.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

You're honorary Australian. No, no, no, I'm Australian and Italian, even though I would define myself as Italian.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yeah. It's like yeah, Italian versus Australian second. Where I would say Australian and Maltese. But I believe George Clooney is American first, but he's it he is Italian descent. Because that is commonplace, is it? I'm not sure. Where's this phone of mine? I need to find this phone.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

No, I don't believe that place. Well, well, while you are looking for George Clooney, um, I actually wanted to ask you a question. Um, how do you think I want to talk more about love? Okay, because we talk about um attraction and intuition. Is he Italian?

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Did you find George Cloney's Italian house? But I didn't answer Italian.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Alright, is George Cloney Italian? Let's have a look. Are you who you're asking? Claude, ChPT, Google, who's your AI assistant here?

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Speaks fluent Italian. That doesn't answer the question. It doesn't, doesn't it oh you know, this is too confusing. I think too convoluted on.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Because if you say something wrong, I'll I'll blame you on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Can you just can you cut this part out? No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

You're doing nothing because it's entertaining for whoever is listening.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Oh, I'm gonna be crucial.

unknown 24:47

Come on, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

Let's go back to the love piece because we talked about chemistry and energy and attraction when you have that thing that you just don't know how to describe it because that it is what that is. But if you don't if we talk about love, how how do you think love is perceived when it comes to relationships, even in the same-sex dating or heterosexual?

SPEAKER_00 25:17

Well, there are different types of love languages, so I guess it depends what sort of love language you're more familiar with. Um I can't remember the love languages. There are four of them.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

I know, I know them, but what's yours?

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Gifts.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Is that really?

SPEAKER_00 25:36

So you like to receive gifts and to also gifts, yes. Really? Yeah, because that gifts or that particular things make me uh think about you at that specific moment. Like when I was traveling, maybe I, you know, I was walking down, you know, uh, you know, a road or a street, and I like and I just you tie the person to the gift, tie the person to the gift, and like, oh that's lovely, you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

That's really cool. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. I always thought about gifts as more um materialistic, but when you see it that way, yeah, it's like that scarf that someone bought you that every time you wear it, you think of that. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

It's like having things in your home, you know, like you you buy things and then not just to have them, but because each of the things you have in your home, um, and that I relate to this on a deep level, everything I have in my home, it's it has to do with like a place I've been or a person I loved or something. So that's um that's my love language.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

What's your love language?

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Oh, what's your love?

SPEAKER_03 26:40

I think mine is words of affirmation. Yeah, that's what I think it is. I usually giving it's the way that I would express love for someone, like attention or um doing little things or making a cake or whatever, just something to say, yes, I'm I'm thinking about you, and this is what I'm giving to you. Because sometimes I'm not good at words, so it's hard for me. I would do I think not believer, no, no, yeah. Relationships, yes. Sometimes it's a little bit hard to say what I think, therefore, I sort of convert that in something that would have taken me time to do, and then it's intentional, it's intentional because I thought about the person, it's not about the value in that the object has, or the cake, or the food, or the value, the money value that I put in that, it's more about the time that I put to do that specific stuff. Um, for me, I don't know, words of affirmation because I think again, based on confidence, confidence levels are not great when it comes to relationships, or some somehow I need to be validated that we get that through the work through the spectrum. Yeah, I I think so. But then again, I feel like it's something that I should have worked through it and find a solution because it probably is not the best. Yeah, that's okay, that's it's what's true for you at the moment.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Yeah, yeah. Um I've been asked this many times, I've had many conversations around the love languages, and my receiving a love language is acts of service, and I guess the context for that is because I'm a hyper-independent person since I was very young. So when someone does something for me, when I allow someone to do something for me, um it feels really special. I feel considered, and a person find out of their way to do something, and it's just it shows me that they care. So that's my love language. Um, and then giving for me is generally gifts, um, but I also quality time is important because we're you know we all lack time, so if we're creating time in our in our lives for someone, it means that you really love them. So I'd say hybrid of both.

SPEAKER_03 28:58

Yeah, and how would you um put confidence in all of this?

SPEAKER_01 29:06

How would I insert confidence into love? Yeah, in dating. Because that was that's what we meant to be talking about. Yeah, ah okay, confidence in dating. Okay, um, it's look, it's a it's a broad topic, right? It's a broad topic. I think for a start, you know, you've got to start from the source. Like, where are you dating in the first place? We've got um, we've got apps, we're out at bars, like you know, we're going to single nights and networking events. I mean, they're your traditional sort of dating routes. Um I think it's about the confidence in how you show up in the world. Like when you're showing up in the dating world, how are you showing up? What is the confidence that you're bringing to the space? You know, um we've all well, I don't want to say we've all been on apps, but I've been on an app or two in my day in life. Okay, we've all been in this together. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

I mean, but there's nothing to be ashamed about.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

No, I'm not unfortunate, but that's how it is at the moment. Yeah, I'm not ashamed of it at the end of the day. So it's a vehicle, like I use it as a vehicle to get to where I'm going, so I'm not concerned about that. But um, I have had an interesting journey with it where you know I started on dating apps quite late. I was 29, 30, I just finished a very long-term relationship, and I had to get out into the world. I felt like I was a you know a newborn for the first time, and um getting out into the dating app world and the dating world is such the my confidence levels were low, and I know that's hard to believe now because I'm a very confident woman now. But um, back when I was 29-30, I had no idea who I wanted to be in that space and what I was looking for. So very quickly, I had to learn, you know, I was meeting different men and different people, and really I wasn't very confident. I showed up not knowing what I wanted at all, and so it ended up in a bit of confusion, I guess, until I sort of paused it all and worked out who am I? How do I show up in the space? What do I want? And then I and then I easily articulated that as to when I was meeting people, and that's and that's the best way, I think. So yeah, and for you?

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Well, for me it's interesting because um dating app it's not something I can't say I'm familiar with, but um it's not something that I would uh in a gay world, I would say, you know, you go out and about and you uh you go to clubs, and how that's also you know how I met some of the most important people I have in my life, or you know, some of the um days I had in my life uh quite meaningful as well, uh, through um you know, on a random night out. And I feel like the best way to um yeah, the best way for for me at least to just meet people and to um just you know um yeah, meet people and just also like you know, um uh connect. Connect, yes, absolutely. Uh is just uh you know, clubbing and you you cross eyes, and that's when it's all started. Um, and I think it's a wonderful way of uh connecting with people, and there's also a beautiful authenticity to that.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Like I have to I have to say, like, even though we're talking about apps and whatnot, um some of the most beautiful connections I've had in my life have been organic, yeah. And that's what I think.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

I feel like we would really connect with someone, or we would have the lifetime relationship or a very important relationship just with someone that we are able to connect with in the in the real world. But I feel like that's because if you hide behind behind an app, you would sort of put on a mask, and the people would actually see you through their lens, their fall, they would create a projection on how you could be, on how you could look like, but then in reality, you are another person, so we need to consider also that gap. If you meet someone in real life, as you said at the club, just eyesight or whatever, you are literally already eliminating all that expectation, all that mask, and the person that you meet is the actual person, that's how the person is.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

Because let's be honest, when you're dancing, the last thing you want to do is like you don't have your your like a face mask on, you just like filters, you don't have no filters, you're just dancing, you're just there to have fun.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

Well, also that lends to the fact that people are feeling your energy, yes, absolutely. The energy in the room, the the and they're and people are and I you know I find that a lot, and I I know this about you too, because you're quite an energetic person, like a good energy person, you know. Um, when you're on these apps and whatnot, you've got all these, you've got all these filters and masks, and you're allowing people to perceive you the way you want them to perceive you. When you meet organically in person, people are actually in your energy force field and they're feeling you, they're seeing you, but they're feeling you, and they're feeling who you are as a person, and that's what they're attracted to. And you do you really have that? Like I went out a couple of weeks ago, but it's probably not a good story for him, but I went out a couple of weeks ago, and I remember a guy came up and said hi, and we started chatting all the time. Strange that that someone can come to you and just say hi. Yeah, it doesn't happen very often in my world, but um it's open energy, actually, is what my friends always say. They say that I've got very open energy. But um, he ended up saying to me at some stage during the conversation, he was like, You have really beautiful energies, I can't explain it, but I'm really I felt very drawn to you. Um, and so I think that you know the energy, as we were talking about on an earlier podcast, energy and confidence goes hand in hand, and people feel it. People feel you before they see you half the time.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

So, how many times would someone stop you on the street every day? Like, because now I'm curious.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Um I'm very embarrassed by this question. Um, there's a running joke in my friendship circle that it's every time I leave the house. But that's not the case. So did it happen today? I didn't leave the house today. What do you mean? You didn't go for water today? No, I didn't. Actually, no, I I lie. I went I went to go get the coffee in the morning and yet someone did stop me outside the coffee. I'm very embarrassed by this question.

SPEAKER_03 35:40

But to me that even at the gym, people that I see every day would say hello.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Um yeah, I think I think for me, I don't know, I don't know what it is. I I can't attest it. It's you know, I'm not the prettiest girl in the room, I'm not the most attractive girl in the room, nothing like that, so I can't attest it to be that. But um I do, I would put it down to energy more than anything else, it's an open energy. People are draw, people are drawn to you and they can't explain it, and you know, and it's the same sometimes when you're repelled to someone and you can't explain why you just know that you don't want to be around that person, you know. And to be this energy to get people attracted to you in the law of attraction is there any sorcery or some rituals that spell it? Okay, so do I know I was thinking that you were missing like dog menu when you want dog another one? No, there's no I don't think there's a spell. I don't think let's go into your kitchen and get a fiddle. That's quite funny actually. Um I don't think you can put anyone under your spell. You know, it's funny, I get a lot of um these um uh what are they advertisements and things like that, you know, uh cookies and whatnot on my on my uh social media around manifesting in five days and then you know all this.

SPEAKER_00 37:10

Like 10 days to be happy or like 10 days to be happy or whatever, you know.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

I don't think I don't think there's that's true, but what I can say is that um if you generally intentionally um focus on having having and maintaining the highest source of energetic frequency you can, that in itself will absolutely magnetise people into your energetic field that are aligned to you. That's important. I've got a very rule, actually, I haven't told you, I've got a very um strict rule with myself in terms of dating, um, which is when I'm going through particular periods in my life that I'm not feeling the best. I've had health issues and things like that, and we've all had periods in our life that we're not doing great. We know when we're operating at our best level and not so. When I'm not so, I intentionally remove myself from any dating um possibilities. And the reason being is that I know that I will absolutely attract the frequency that I'm on at the moment, and if I'm on a lower frequency that I would like, then I won't, I will not want to attract that. So I will wait until I actively work on increasing that, um, and then I'll put myself back out into that field.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

Yeah, I think you did mention that to me another time that we were chatting. Yeah, um, I wanted to sort of circle back to something that we discussed before while we were briefing the episode because obviously it's about self-confidence, it's about how we feel about yourself, therefore, what type of person we would attract on the other end. So, at one point before over dinner, you said, Oh, come on, we just have to be honest, we all know where we stand in terms of numbers. What number we are, what numbers are funny conversation. Yeah, it was, and it's funny, but it made me think at the same time because sometimes there are people that they would say, like, oh no, he's out of my league, she's out of my league. And they think that the person is too much for them. Why do you think these people would have that sort of back thinking?

SPEAKER_01 39:14

I think it comes down to their lens of perspective as to who they are, and their lens of perspective as to what the other person perceives themselves to be. You know, um, you can easily look at someone and say, Oh, they're a 10, they're out of my league, because I perceive myself to be a seven. Where in fact you might be judging someone based on their aesthetic look, and in fact, they might be a terrible person, they might be a two, if you will, you know. Um, I really hate that. I really hate when people turn around and say she's out of my league or he's out of my league. I used to do that about 10 years ago when I first re-entered the dating world. I used to think he's out of my league, he's too attractive or sexy or masculine, or whatever the case may be. And I thought I didn't live up to those expectations. Um and I had flipped my mindset, you know, a few a few years down the track, and I actively worked on myself and my own self-worth. And I flipped that mindset was no, as long as I know that I'm at my highest level of possibility and value as a woman and a human, um, then in fact, are they good enough for me? So that was a question I started asking myself. It's not arrogance, it's really just knowing who you are and the confidence and knowing who you are and what you bring to the table. And you just have nothing less than that.

SPEAKER_03 40:25

Do you think that this would reconnect back to what we said of the fear of rejection?

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

Therefore, I I would then go down that path and I would say, Oh, he's out of my league to justify myself in case I would get rejected. Or I would I wouldn't even try because I know I'll get rejected because he's out of my league.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Um I mean being rejected is also being very vulnerable, you know. You put yourself in a situation where you know it's kind of you you yeah, you don't, you know, you don't think it's uh you're not worth it because there's that person is like you know, is you're not good enough, but in the end of the day, you know, you're your own bus driver, really. Yeah, and what you have to do is just like move on.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Yeah, well, also there's a I I like that you do, you have to accept the rejection and move on. But in fact, it's actually redirection more than anything else. We often see rejection as I'm not good enough, but in fact, I always see it as we're just not in alignment. It's nothing wrong with me, there's nothing wrong with that person. It might not be the person, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

It might not be the person we whereas if I get rejected, I'll I would put it all on me and be like, okay, you are not pretty enough, you're not good enough, uh, because you're not doing these things or you don't have these things, and he wants more, therefore you should do more, and maybe he will notice you and yeah, but then you ask yourself whether you guys were on the same level.

SPEAKER_00 42:00

Yeah, true. You know, different levels means not comparability, like you guys are not comparable at all.

SPEAKER_03 42:07

So do you think if something that is not working at the beginning it might find its way through down the path and then it would work? Depends why it's not working.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if it's not working at the beginning, the beginning should be the nirvana. Yeah, it should be if yeah, the beginning should as we talk about electricity, and you know, I I think it's a state of nirvana. The beginning should be the chemicals are at at an all-time high. House on fire, house on fire, everything's electric. Everything's everything's on fire, everything's electric, butterflies in the stomach, everything's burning down, and you could have and you're just like dancing for the flames. You're that happy. You know, I remember thinking outside my car window. I was thinking, what's the song? Oh god, I I'd have to uh remember the song and tell you guys later on, but it's so funny. I'm like sing, I was so joyous, it was so euphoric. I was singing out the window and I could feel the love chemical because it's it's in your brain, right? Um, so that's the that's the beginning. If you're not having a beginning like that, girl, yeah, you got sucked. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I I was just thinking because I don't know, relationships can evolve in uh in different ways, so but I do agree, but then they can have a like a plateau effect after years, plateau effect, yeah, and I guess you know, a long long relationship like bringing together for 20, 30, 40 years, like surely you are in love with a person, I will assume, but yeah, there's a plateau effect where basically, you know, it's just you know, I read something recently just on that, whereby um a gentleman's married to a woman for like 30, 40 years, and someone said to him, you know, how? Did you say love with your wife for all this time? And you said and I had to uh continue to learn to love the person that she evolved into in every different season of her life. She was different when I first met her, she was different when she became a mother, she was different when she you know she went into perimenopause and whatnot. And um, yeah, I thought that was quite beautiful actually. So it's sort of falling in love again with the same person but at a different time, but also choosing that person again and again because you're not always gonna be in love. Like, I I can't I can't say you're gonna be in love with someone for like for 40 years, you can't say that's a burning euphoric love for 40 years, right?

SPEAKER_03 44:38

You will have probably the first few years, and that's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

If I get the first few years, I'd be happy at this stage at this stage in the dating world, I'd be very happy.

SPEAKER_03 44:48

Before you we were saying that um, especially Stefano is a nomad, he he likes to bless him, change flower and do a lot of stuff. Um, do you think if we have to compare dating here and dating in Italy in this case? Um, do you think that there are any differences or um pretty much similar?

SPEAKER_00 45:10

As I said, I I think there are a lot of uh differences, you know. As I say, I mentioned, you know, clubs are great venues for uh queer community to uh to meet um and start a great relationship. And uh Sydney is a place where we have constantly uh like uh events. It doesn't have to be Mardi Gras, it doesn't have to be War Pride, can just be like on a random, like you know, public holiday, or just you know, every second weekend they have something planned. So that's how we meet. Uh whereas in Italy it's be more conservative, uh it's be more um just in the closet. Um you are a little bit more in the closet in a way you are even in Milan. Um I haven't seen the event we have here uh or the venues that we have here is to actually meet. Um and that's and more so if you live in a countryside. In a countryside, everyone knows your business, and as you know, like Italy is made of like very small uh town uh with you know not many people, and everyone knows your business. You want to people after a while.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Yeah, but you live in Milano, no?

SPEAKER_00 46:27

Yeah, but like you know, it's quite different in a way that you you don't um I don't think it's you can compare what uh it's with the freedom to uh to date here and the kind of restraints that you have and difficulties you have in Italy. Like you can um I think here it's kind of normal, um, you know, hold hands in Italy, even in Milan, which is a part of a progressive place, you would probably do that.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Like I haven't seen many people to even even now, I feel like in the last few years, um no.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

I haven't seen that every time I go back, I always get surprised of you know how you know um regressive a little regressive, you know. Like we we are more progressive than we we used to be, but obviously still quite progressive.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

I I feel like we quotation mark pay the consequences because we have the Pope. True, true. I feel like obviously because we are heavy Catholic religion. Yeah, um what would be the tips or the suggestion that you would give to someone that is coming here from Italy in this space?

SPEAKER_00 47:46

Um I would say um Australia is a place where you can feel completely free. Um there is no shame, there's no arm, it's just you know, you can be who you want to be. Um if you decide to be queer, if you decide to be uh bisexual, if you decide to be anything you want to be, you can be here, like you can be uh freely with no problem, you know. At least I'm I'm talking about seeing the major uh the major cities in Australia, but uh I feel like it's a it's a place where you can really express yourself.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

And without being judged, because I feel like and not just in your community, because I feel like Australia in every little aspect in of our daily life, I feel like we are free to be who we are, like it's judgment free. It's you can do whatever you want, you can say you you can be like you can go out in pyjama and no one cares, you can go out, I don't know, wearing a specific thing and no one cares. Whereas where we are from where we are from, we cannot do that. And I feel like very liberating, we can say that. Is it a word that or not? Yeah, it is. Um it it makes me feel like I'm free like to express whatever I want to express.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

Yeah, you're absolutely right. Like, and you know, I can't attest to having lived in Italy or anything like that, but um you know, if you think of some of the other countries in the world um where you know women can't wear what they want or they've just had voting rights and not to get political, but you know, if we're talking about dating in particular, can't be holding hands or kissing in public in some countries it's you know um it's illegal, right? So yeah, you can be a lot more um expressive, I guess, and a lot more free in Australia. I've got a question for you though, if you don't mind, Cyril, about that about gay dating. So, you know, I guess the major topic of the podcast is around heterosexual dating and um and the differences of gay dating or same-sex dating. I find with heterosexual dating, like I would never, never date a man that has dated one of my friendship circle. And I would expect none of my girlfriends to date an ex of mine, right? Like this is the code, right? Yes, but I find that the gay world, you all fuck each other. Sorry, but in the sense about that. Sorry, you all have sexual encounters. Is that what other put in class is very professional? I think you uh no you're right intimate relations.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

No, you're right, you're right. As is as as I mentioned in the past, uh, before uh we just you know uh quit a relationship how more uh we try to break the traditions and we're a bit more fluid. So um who cares? Who cares? You know, girl, you you want to date my friend, go for it, you know. What about an ex-boyfriend? Ex-bo-boyfriends can be a bit of a tricky situation, but depends, even then, you know, not necessarily thinking like a hetero person.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Yeah, well, we would be jealous about the all the things, right? There's friendship breakups involved, and like it's not a red line.

SPEAKER_00 51:16

Yeah, it's not a red line, even okay.

SPEAKER_03 51:19

So you would permit more things.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

Yes, we permit a lot of things. Mod is acceptable. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

Do you think that's because it's a smaller community, the gay community? But I mean it's quite a large community. I don't think it's mod here. I don't think it's small, but I think it's smaller than your heterosexual community. Oh, potentially.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

Yes, yeah, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 51:39

So it's less choice.

SPEAKER_00 51:40

Yeah, less choices, yes, absolutely. Um, and in fact, if you if you go on our dating app, you will see the same people over again because you know the community is smaller. Um that happens in the header world too, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

I saw you ten years ago. Swipe left envelope. Yeah, the dating apps.

SPEAKER_00 51:59

Well, you for you guys it's ten years ago. For us, it's like I saw you yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

Well, you need to reflect the app with more. I've been changing all my filters ages, location. Trust me, I saw the same people. Sydney's not as big as what we make it out to be, I think.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

The last thing I also want to say about gay relationship and you know, heterosexual relationship is it's basically uh the stereotype of a woman and a man, or like wife and husband. And for us, it's like who is the top, who is the bottom? Yeah, and like why do I need to give you the specifics? You know, at the end of the day, like you know, we just two people like why do we have to tell you, or why do we need to go into details? Or it's just a very stereotypical thing to just even ask, like, are you top or bottom?

SPEAKER_01 52:50

You know, but do you move between the person that you're seeing or let's say a friend asking?

SPEAKER_00 52:56

Even even within the general public, they would just do the questions, or they assume they're trying to work out titles.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Yeah, but general public no one will come to you and ask you that.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

Oh, I asked. You'll be surprised.

SPEAKER_01 53:11

But you're trying to work out blessed, and I I understand your point, but do you know I learnt about tops and bottoms from my inner circle, and um, you know, it's funnily enough when I meet and I you know I love I love a good gay person, but um when I meet a gay person, I'm like, Oh, I see you're top and bottom, and they're like, What? How do you know that? you know, kind of thing. But I sort of resonate to the fact that the you know, traditionally speaking, the uh bottom's more feminine, the top's more masculine. I know that's not always the case, but then you sort of be an understanding.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

It's like you go to uh it's a hey mah, how would you like it?

SPEAKER_01 53:46

I know it's like someone else.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Do you like this on the on your back? I would be offended.

SPEAKER_03 53:51

I would be highly offended, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

Okay, it's the same yeah, okay, but it happens a lot.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

Note to self, note to self for me. So yeah, I would, yeah, I actually would. I'd be highly offended. I would well, it's like asking what your what your favourite position is, like that's so intimate, right? Yeah, and you would never ask, like in this specific setting. Like, would you ask so talking heterosexual versus the same sex, would you ask your girlfriends though? Like you'd speak about it for your girlfriends, would you not? Well, I speak to my girlfriends about sex, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:27

But that's a different topic because I'm talking with friends, so it doesn't matter. We talk about it, that's fine. But if I have to talk to a potential that I probably met on the day, yeah, I wouldn't come up with that and say, hey, how do you like it?

SPEAKER_00 54:42

But also in the bed community is different because like you know, you also want to make sure you're compatible, you're compatible. Yeah, embedded.

SPEAKER_03 54:51

Would you give more importance to compatibility in bed rather than personality?

SPEAKER_00 54:58

Yeah, okay, you can always improve the bed performance, but you cannot improve a person personality. So I would say personality first, and then we can work around the bad situation.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

But even though I feel like if the bad situation it doesn't, I don't know, there's something off if it can happens continuously. I don't think after that the person is right for me. I wouldn't use it as a measure of to judge, like to say, okay, that's how I'm gonna judge someone else, because of course personality is and values and everything is important. But I feel like also the sexual component has its own value. And I feel like it needs a relationship, it needs to be a bit of everything. It does.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Yeah, it does, but also you know, in in our words, you know, if two pos if two uh if if a couple has the preferring from the same position, like two bot to top or to bottom, we might have a problem, you know? It's like it's a big problem. Yeah, one needs to compromise. One really needs to compromise, and sometimes it's not always easy to compromise, you know, because maybe that's what you've been doing for forever.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Would you compromise?

SPEAKER_00 56:21

No.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

What if you are really in love with that guy?

SPEAKER_00 56:25

I still wouldn't compromise.

SPEAKER_03 56:27

I think you will.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

I still wouldn't compromise.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

That's like I think he wouldn't he would never tell us, but I think he would. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

Yes. Yeah, those electric feelings in the house is burning down, you're dancing through the flames. Maybe I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew. You know, um sex is also an energy, right? If we're talking about energy and confidence and what sex is an energy. So um, I actually I had this um I had this period in my life, not well, years ago actually, where I abstained from sex, and I was like, no, I like sex is I'm giving an energetic part of myself to the other person, and I'm taking on their energy. So when we're having intimate relations, encounters, sexual encounters, when we're having encounters, is that what you're going? Um, when we're having intimate encounters, um you're sharing energy, you're bonding, and you're sharing every energy that that person's feeling at that time and that you're feeling, you're intermeshing, and so it takes a lot it takes a long time to actually remove that sexual energy. So, and that and naturally speaking, so yeah, I've stayed for quite some time, it was great. Like I actually loved it, I loved it. It was a fantastic time in my life because you can only um take on so much. I know it sounds disgusting, and that's not what I mean by that. I'm not talking about volume, I'm talking about energy. Don't laugh, you two. I can sit see you both smirking, and that's not what I mean. That came out all the wrong way. I'm gonna shut up now.

SPEAKER_03 57:58

I was literally like your personal brand goes straight into the compost mode right now.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Listen, I'm like Mary, which one Virgin Mary? I have to think about which Mary I was then.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

I I feel like we could go on hours and hours talking about this, but if I look at the watch, we spoke we spoke for like over an hour.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

We need to get in bed, not intimate examples. I'm going to buy bed by myself, just so you all know. It's important to stay.

SPEAKER_03 58:30

I feel like we should probably need a spin-off uh episode on this, maybe at another time. Um, because it was really interesting to see the differences between same-sex dating and and for us, and see the way that they approach love and relationship and how they feel, the importance that they give to chemistry, and you know, that fatal attraction that you would have, whereas we are here like eternal thinkers thinking about the future.

SPEAKER_01 58:59

People, what's on your list? I'm joking.

SPEAKER_03 59:03

Uh, one time I wanted to write it to have it visualized, and then once I read it after a bit, I'm like pathetic, like seriously. No, that doesn't work.

SPEAKER_01 59:12

Um, but that's a whole other episode. We can talk about manifestation and all and all those things.

SPEAKER_03 59:16

Oh, I've got laws of attraction here. You do, do you do here there?

SPEAKER_01 59:20

You've got I like this one though. You've got you are a bad us. That's the next topic, everyone. You are a bad us.

SPEAKER_03 59:26

And we are not advertising the book, but this is actually a great book, yes.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

Yeah, how to stop doubting your greatness. I want that one. That's a good book.

SPEAKER_03 59:34

Next topic that's my great library here. Um, okay, so uh, do you you guys do you feel like what true comments? No, because I like to put comments on books and like I have different um ways to highlight like different colors different colors based on importance. So I would give like a hierarchy on the colors. For example, if I have a full color, it's more important than the pen. And then after the pen, I have the pencil, okay, and then I have straight line, like uh the wavy thing. Then I have the system. I've got a whole system.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:15

Yeah, this is like trying to uh decipher this is studying something.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:20

Yeah, there is a whole true story with my notes because sometimes I I I write the name of the person next next to the topic, yeah. So it's like a reference. If I feel like that that specifically resonates with someone that I know, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Um this is great, an insight into your mind, Miss Silver. Yeah, so you are a bad ass. Thank you, I know okay, guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:47

So I think we are at the end of the episode because it's certain time here. Um 30 a.m. God, I need to wake up in four hours. Yes, pretty much. Um, if you have any other questions on confidence in dating, either for Stefan or for Sarah, write an email at italiani.depodcast at gmail.com. Otherwise, just slide it in. That's how you guys say slide that in to slide it straight in that inbox on Instagram. Um, you can see it, it's Italian in Australia Podcast with the blue icon. We are the only and original one, so just stay away from whoever is trying to copy us. And on this note, thank you so much, guys, for being here tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:32

Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:33

That's me. Um Prego had uh had a great time. I feel like I've learned so much, and I feel like we could have gone until 6 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:42

Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:44

We get the people. We'll probably make it. But it worked out and we go to the world together. Um thank you.