Coming Out Late

Ep. #204: Alayna Joy — A New Coming Out Late Premium Interview

Subscriber Episode • • Robin Douglass • Season 4 • Episode 204

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In this special Premium Interviews episode, Robin sits down with Alayna Joy, a newly married, LGBTQ+ content creator and queer pre-licensed therapist, who brings her frank and funny perspective to a wide range of topics, such as mental health and sexuality, with a focus on the queer community.

Alayna Joy shares how compulsory heterosexuality, people-pleasing, and zero representation kept her from recognizing her queerness—mistaking the male gaze and validation for attraction—until online queer content, real-life queer community, and a “bodily knowing” clarified: she’s gay. She describes the painful shift from a “perfect on paper” engagement to living authentically. Her core message: “choose the uncertainty of truth over the certainty of hiding”.

In this episode, you will hear Robin and Alayna talk about…

  • Moving through the stages, from, “...having NO CLUE…thinking maybe I’m bisexual, to, oh sh!t, I think I’m gay.”
  • What Alayna said, “...I thought I was desiring boys, but what I discovered was, I was desiring being desired. I wanted to be wanted.”
  • Alayna’s head, (and societal conditioning), was telling her, “this is the path everybody's so happy for me to be on”, but her body was telling her, “Ohhh! This is where I belong. This is home — in the gay community.”
  • Other key points: Compulsory scripts + validation loops; Representation matters; Breaking a good relationship can still be right; Finding/creating community; and Life after coming out.
  • Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

ALAYNA JOY:

PODCASTS: Host of: @sleepingaroundpod; Co-Host of: @chosenfamilypod

INSTAGRAM:  (@missfenderr); YOUTUBE: @AlaynaJoyOfficial

SUPPORT GROUPS:

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAYS: EVERY Monday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp via Buy Me A Coffee. No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. Register using this link: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHER Tuesday, 75 mins; 8pm EST, Zoom, $10 pp via Buy Me A Coffee. No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. Register using this link: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

THE NOT-STRAIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHER Wednesday - 75 minutes, 12:30pm EST / 9:30am PST, in Zoom, $10pp via Buy Me A Coffee. Wed. No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/93135

LINK TO THE PREMIUM INTERVIEW w/KRISTIN KEY: https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/466637

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 9-12, ‘26); Lake George, NY, (June 4-7, '26); For more details, email Robin:  Comingoutlater@gmail.com.