S6 Ep.17-Little Cup Of Milk

The Crew Talks About Midnight Snacks, Pets Only Website, Making Friends With The Neighborhood Crows, Girl Baby Names, Celebrity Age Game, And Other Nonsense. 

Transcript

Copy

SPEAKER_05 0:35

Welcome to the human race show with Derek, Jeff, Kate, and Ron. Hello. Hello. Hello. Charlie. And Chucky over here. You're going with Charlie now? I like it. I don't know. I like it. Let's call him Spencer or something. Oh, yeah, Spencer.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Kind of looks like a Spencer.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Yeah, he looks like a Spencer. I look like a Spencer.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

And then if if we're really flowing with him, we could just call him Spence. Spence, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Dude, everybody loves a Spence. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 1:04

I like it. Hey, Spence. Hey, we got Spence in the house here.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Hey, what's going on, guys? Spence in the house.

SPEAKER_05 1:10

Oh, Spence.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Spence is good though.

SPEAKER_05 1:14

Spence? Ron.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I kind of like it. Dude, my stepdad's name is Ron. Because there's always like Ron.

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Ron is one of the douchebag names, though, that they're not a douchebag name. It's that use in in shows and movies, like, hey, Ron. You know what I mean? Ron's always the asshole. No, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Ron is always the guy.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Yeah, but he's an asshole.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

It's not an ass. No, he's not an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

He's just the guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

He doesn't stand out in the crowd.

SPEAKER_05 1:40

His name is Ron. He's yeah. I'm not this is literally looking dude with a mustache.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

He's not an asshole. He's not a mean guy. He's not like he's not like Ron Burgundy is the only other Ron that I think mustache.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

Go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

But he's just, he just Ron. That's why I think he chose Ron Burgundy, because like Ron is like it's like the middle of the lane.

SPEAKER_05 2:06

Yeah. Nothing stands out, but he also nothing stands out bad. So we know nothing wild is coming from Ron. But now you're Spence. Wait, wait. Maybe we should keep him as Ron. I'm fucking badass. Oh. He's just Ron. Yeah. He's here. Okay. We have Caitlin, which goes, you know, and then drum roll. And then we have I thought we weren't gonna bring that up. That's the last episode. That's old shit. Well, it's any episode. Don't fall for it. Would you like a peanut butter?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Stop offering me peanut butter. I'm allergic.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

Pickles. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Oh. What? I I created a new concoction. Do you do you like spicy pickles?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I don't like pickles.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Okay. Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Like.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

I'm just gonna sit here and eat my my peanut butter petzel.

SPEAKER_05 2:59

Does a a non-eating pregnant girl crack bacon wrap twinkies?

unknown 3:05

Oh!

SPEAKER_05 3:05

Those were bombs, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yes, they were.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

Wait, did you batter them too? Or did you just fry it? Did you just wrap it and then fry the bacon over the twinkie?

SPEAKER_05 3:14

That's why they weren't as good.

unknown 3:15

No.

SPEAKER_05 3:15

It would have been pancake bacon.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

No, no, no, no. Tell them what you did. No, I want the crisp, the crispy bacon over the Twinkie.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

I'm down with this. I'm is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

I I wrapped the bacon around the Twinkie and then I fried it in the oven.

SPEAKER_05 3:30

You didn't fry it.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

That's what I meant to say. Wait, wait.

SPEAKER_05 3:35

I got a badass air fryer at my house. I got like the the French store like fucking air fryer. The Dutch oven.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

You should try it in my air fryer if you want to, and then we can experiment and do weird shit. That sounds good. I'm down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

If you can get the bacon crispy over the Twinkie. Okay. It was awesome. How long did it take though? Did it take like hours? No. No, it was like 20 minutes. She came out with them right away.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

I want to like make it so that the twink you can taste the Twinkie more. Because like what the bread it out. The bacon got kind of yeah. No, the bacon was fine, but the Twinkie itself, like all of the like inside, like kind of soaked into the bread.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

It was perfect, I thought. Don't you don't want to overpower the tinker? Freeze the Twinkie.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_05 4:23

That's why this fucking free they're in the freezer.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

So Ron told me to do that. Oh, I'm like, who put fucking Twinkies in the freezer?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

So the molten lava cake that, you know, like it's a so they freeze the ganache and they put it in a cake and then they and so freeze the Twinkie. I have to wrap it.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

I have some frozen ones right now.

SPEAKER_05 4:40

Yeah, that's what shoot. I was wondering, why are they in the freezer? Spencer here. He told you to do that shit. Yeah, that's right. I just haven't. See, Ron wouldn't have said to do that. I'm for high. It was Spence. Oh, this was Spence. Spence. Yeah, guys. Good old Spence. He kept me in suspense. Yes. I forgot to put those fucking Twinkies in there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

I saw them in there. I'm like, oh man, I want a Twinkie. I'm like, Yeah, trust me. You want an ice cream? It'll be better than your shake. Go eat one right now, and you'll be you'll you'll love that.

SPEAKER_05 5:10

I used one of those Twinkies. Oh, I know. Frozen Twinkie? No. Or like real. It was that night. Did you shove it up? You shoved it up your ass. That's exactly right. I couldn't get it going. It was a mess. It was cold and hard. Fucking Dennis had a hell of a treat, though. No, I it was 1145.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

And you're there trying to shove it up your ass.

SPEAKER_05 5:32

Right before I go in there and I find the ice cream and Wendy Putton magic magic shell. That's how I saw the magic shell. Magic shell is awesome. It was on the counter. I'm like, oh fuck. Magic shell. I look, oh, there's ice cream. So I made this whole picture of everything I put in there. You made a picture? Well, I took a picture of all the shit that I was putting in there. Alright. But then this is stupid, dude. Okay, so let's keep going. As I was starting to make this, I started finding more ingredients. So I found like a brownie. I'm like brownie.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

And then the Twinkie and my I broke the Twinkie all up into pieces and put it all into this um You put it into a garbage pile. A pile of uh a Sunday and then topped it all with the magic shell.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:22

And dude, it was awesome. But I forgot to take a picture of Was it awesome or was it?

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Oh I am high and tired and want to go to bed and I'm a fat piece of shit just like everybody else.

SPEAKER_05 6:35

Here's my picture they took.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

So I think this is this is the rule. This is a midnight snack?

SPEAKER_05 6:41

Yeah, so it's 11 uh 45. Dude, you are getting diabetes. Don't feed them from that. So I look at that marshmallow cream I put in there. You put the fluff in there of peanut butter. Yeah. Dude, is your right foot itchy right now? My right foot's itchy just looking at that. So then I found a brownie and a Twinkie I wanted to add, but I'd already taken the picture. Okay. And I'm like, oh shit. So I went and AI. Did you take a picture of the after oh that I went and AI to a brownie? Oh my god. No, no, no. Go back. You put peanut butter in that shit? Fuck that. Go back, go back to your oh my god. Is that jelly? That looks like full. Jesus Christ. Those are chunks of you.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

You know what you need to call that?

SPEAKER_05 7:23

It's called the Wolford Brimley. Dude, the Brimley.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Yeah, the Brimley. Dia Buddhist. That's the leaving Las Vegas for diabetes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Holy fuck. Yeah, you you're Nicholas Cage. You're not going to drink yourself to death. You're eating that.

SPEAKER_05 7:36

Brownie. Oh, dude. Dude, Elizabeth Shue shows up and she's like, you fuck me in the ass. Or whatever. There's brown. Yeah. And she just slowly cutting off limbs. Don't you ever do that? Like just make a nice fun treat. Honestly, then not like that. I'm not a sweet guy. I'm a savory guy. I'll do like. I was gonna wake the whole family up to look at this thing. I'm like, dude, can't get this. Get out of bed. There's aliens. I mean, no, there's not. Look at this chocolate. You want a bite of this? I was so proud of it. I I loved it. I mean, it looks great. It was great. Yeah, it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

But I don't know if you should have woke everybody up. I didn't. But also, I wish he would have. I wish I would have heard the or uh Wendy's story of like, well, yeah, this fucking asshole shows me his marshmallow fluff. I'm off. And then and then you're you insist she eats some of it and she eats some of it. She's like, take a spoon on a topic. But it wasn't good at 3 30 in the morning.

SPEAKER_04 8:32

Well, see, that was the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 8:34

I was gonna make this whole Facebook post, dude. Like, hey, midnight snack. Post it right at midnight, you know? 4 30. But I made it at like uh 11 45 or something.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

So it wasn't close enough.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

Well, I finished it before midnight. It's so it was like crying in it when you're eating. I'm like, yeah, man, it's no good to put a midnight snack. It's only 1150.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

You know, you know what could you know what this could use? Salty tears. You could have took the picture and waited 10 minutes and then posted it, you know.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

I could have, but I think I think I went to sleep before noon or before midnight. Noon night. Yeah, noon. Noon night, yeah. It's one of you power it down and you're like, oh yeah. Yeah, no. If I ate that at at 12 45, I'd be up until 3 o'clock in the morning. Had a baby little glass of milk and washed it down and went to bed. You did? Yeah. You had a little milky milky. I was gonna make it. I was gonna warm it up.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Dude, you fucking teddy.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

I'm 100%.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

I want to beat you up so bad. You gotta have a little teddy cup. You said a little tiny cup.

SPEAKER_05 9:37

It's a little Spider-Man cup. Dude, but I gotta drink milk out of a glass.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:45

And that's my smallest little glass. I wanna hit you a lot. I can't. I want to give you a swerve. I know you don't drink milk. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:54

Disgusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:54

Well cookies? Dunk? Cool. And then you don't drink them? Cereal? No, no, I'll drink, but you had drink. You had a little glass of cool. It's like it's like a double shot. You know? Like a it's a small. For what? You know how much dairy's in the shit you just ate? Yeah, I know. It really made me like, dude, you should see my loogies when I got it.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

I'm I'm not close and top.

SPEAKER_05 10:19

With the spit in the trash and it fucking records. Like I should have taken that to the outside. Oh my god. It's like you had all that and the little thing. The little thing wanna hit you.

SPEAKER_04 10:31

That's because the chocolate at the end was so thick, I needed some milk.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Yeah, the chocolate, not the caramel, not the fucking stuff. Oh no, but not the jelly.

SPEAKER_05 10:41

Some of them bites I had well not the Kit Kat's. 80% of them I had to chew. Like when you're chewing ice cream, you know you got too much shit in there. Yeah, you got a problem.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

I like chewing ice cream though. I chew ice cream right away. But wait, but wait, I don't like melted shit. But wait.

SPEAKER_05 10:56

The little thing with chucks, the little thing.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

No, it's just a little cup.

SPEAKER_05 11:04

Dude, I picture you like like with like an espresso, like with your pink out.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

You know? Put it on your train if you're gonna get it. It's too late to make a coffee.

SPEAKER_05 11:13

You know, I don't know. You know what's gonna set this off, right? What? A little thing.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

Dude, it's like milk.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Dude, the only thing that'll make it better is whole fat fuck milk. Did you have vitamin D whole fat fuck milk? We could 2%. It's 2%.

SPEAKER_05 11:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

All right. So you're not a total piece of shit.

SPEAKER_05 11:34

Yesterday. No, I we don't get whole milk. I haven't had it in years. It sucks. I like whole milk.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Whole fat fuck milk's gossip.

SPEAKER_05 11:41

I like it. But it's good. She always buys the fucking blue label. Put some chocolate milk or chocolate syrup in whole fat fuck milk. No, dude. It's the best. I almost bought some weird milk. Safeway's got weird milk in the glass jars. Acid Acidophilus milk? No, no, no. Like uh they had banana milk.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Oh, that sounds good.

SPEAKER_05 11:58

It fucking sounds great. No. And they had uh strawberry milk and vanilla milk. Fake banana flavor is disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 12:07

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:08

Like the runs. Well no, I get what you're saying. You know what I'm talking about. But that's different. Banana runs, it does the scruss. No, I that sounds like banana milk. It's safe weight, but it comes in that glass jar. So it's a little jar like the size of this water bottle here. Uh-huh. But it's like why would you buy that? It costs you like nine dollars. $89 for $9. But you get $3 back because you get to return the bottle. You know, it's like, fuck that. I was actually on the phone, it was Valentine's. You're like, I'm Greek, I want to do the OPA! Yeah, yeah, alright. I want to drink here. But I listen to birds. Fighting.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

We're talking about fucking banana milk.

SPEAKER_05 12:54

Yeah, banana milk.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

And strawberry milk.

SPEAKER_05 12:56

Remember strawberry milk? Strawberry uh quick? Not really strawberry. It's awesome. It was. I bought some recently.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Not so good.

SPEAKER_05 13:05

It's still good for like one. Yeah. Well, all the shit that we used to eat as kids, we were like, dude, this shit was the best. And then you try it now and you're like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

It's because I had real sugar in it shit back in the day.

SPEAKER_05 13:18

And different, but I think I think it's just the s we're just not as sweet anymore. Yeah. You're not a sweet gentleman anymore. I'm not a sweet gentleman anymore. We're assholes. Yeah. We're more bitter now. Hey, I'm Spence. You guys are fucking sweet guys. Well, like the old uh Nestle, you had to pop the top off. Yeah. You know, and then you're like you're supposed to do one or two. The scoopers. Yeah. Remember you couldn't get your because it was in the center. Yeah. And you had to like dig dig around. Go sideways and sideways. Or or or swack it on the I dude. I love that stuff. That was good.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

It was it was a hole in a square or in a rectangle.

SPEAKER_05 13:58

Yeah. And it was the most annoying thing because you were trying to get like the big scoop. You almost get it out.

SPEAKER_06 14:03

Yeah, and then you knock it down there.

SPEAKER_05 14:05

You're like son of a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Dude, dude, people younger than us will never understand that. You're like, I got the scoop and then fuck.

SPEAKER_05 14:13

And then then they made the squirt bottles. And oh that was easy, but I'm like, this is not the scoop. The powder was the shit. It hits different. It does.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Especially when you get the bottom when you didn't get it all mixed, and you're like, oh dude. I didn't quite catch that.

SPEAKER_05 14:28

Shut the fuck up about my nesting quick, bitch. He said when you hit the bottom. Yeah, I know which I've never had. Your watches goes off? Yeah, because I got the case on it. Oh, you clicked it. Yeah. Anyway, the powder. The powder was fast.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

The circle and the rectangle is.

SPEAKER_05 14:45

You use like a one of them teaspoons that you can use. Yeah, the long handle. I still have them at the house. And I'm like, well. They're going, why are you putting seven spoonfuls? Because they're small spoons. It's too normal. You always wanted to use the big the big spoon. The ladle. Yeah. Just dump it in there. I've done that too. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:06

And it it it floats on the top of the milk. Are you a milkman? You like milk? That's what I'm asking. He's a milkman as he has kids.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

As a kid, my parents made me drink with every single meal a glass of milk. And I'd like to think that maybe they grow into like over six foot man.

SPEAKER_05 15:26

Milk does a body good. My dad did it too.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

I had to, though. Like with every meal, I had to have a glass of milk, like an eight-ounce glass, drink that shit. And I'll drink it now, like if I have to. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 15:36

I drink it with certain dinners. Milk is disgusting. Spaghetti?

SPEAKER_03 15:39

Yeah, I never get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

I drank milk too. Dude, you spaghetti. Your milk was spaghetti things. And then it gets all red. Boggles my mind. That's gross. It just goes good with spaghetti. No. And it goes good with pizza. Don't you do that? No. No things.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

You can go good with anything but cookies, like he said. Cookies are fucking weird.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Milk and cereal, milk and cookies. Other than that, milk and fuck the fuck off. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

The only time I've ever drank like just straight milk pretty much was in jail. Like honestly.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

College.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

College. Thank you. Yeah. But other than that, I won't just drink a glass of milk unless it's get that out of my face. Parochial school. Unless it's like cereal or yeah. Vinny he's like he loves. I'll do a change.

SPEAKER_05 16:32

I'll let you use my little cup. It's just like perfect. Hello. It's a shooter, man. But Vinny, he he loves his cereal. We'll eat dinner and cereal. He just tries to scarf it dinner down so we can grab cereal now. Yeah. That's dessert, dude. You ate your dessert, dude. But he pours like so much milk that you know it's a lot of milk. It's good. It's floating on the drift. But he doesn't drink the fucking milk. He's got a huge bowl and then he goes and dumps it all out. And I'm like, dude, dude, the milk's the best part. So we well, like back in the day, we got him those bowls. They had the straw attached to the side of the bowl. Yeah, but built in so he could do that. Well, he's not a kid no more. That shit ain't free. I I'm not questioning its sexuality. I'm saying that bowl. When it was a kid, it was easy for him to just go drink it.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Now he's like, what am I supposed to just pour so much?

SPEAKER_05 17:24

So then tell him to pour half of the milk on it. I I try to tell him, dude. He's just a the fact that he has to ask you. What do I do with all this extra milk? Some of his brain is in his neck.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

In his what?

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Well, if you didn't if you didn't cough when I said the punchline, apologize. It would have it would have gone over better.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Hi, my name is Sal Gabriel.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

He literally coughed right when I said his neck.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

I want to apologize. No. I just didn't. Oh, I was giving the public. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

Got a cough button over there.

SPEAKER_03 18:00

It's passed now. But well, I did want the answer to it.

SPEAKER_05 18:03

I will I will put a bunch of milk in mine too. And I'll eat my shit. And then Okay. When I'm done, I got enough milk. Mine for another bowl. Topper off? A topper sprinkle? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, we're down to like a couple boxes of just a little bit in each. Oh, dude. So I'm like, ah, a little captain, got a little fucking checks. No, no. Not checks, but uh cinnamon toast crunch. Cinnamon toast crunch. And then we always have the uh honey bunches of oats. We had life in there for that's what I was doing. Cinnamon life. Cinnamon life. Cinnamon life is a shit. That's what I mean. Life. You get life, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Checks. Mikey likes it.

SPEAKER_05 18:46

Not checks, but life and anything else. Little fruity shit in there too. It's good. I'm fine. I'll fucking eat it all. Cap cap and crunch. You get the the bottom of the bags. Yeah. And it's like, who ate three boxes of cereal? I'm like, dude, it wasn't even a bowl for all three of them. You guys.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Well, I I I I I talk about this at my house. It's either too much or not enough.

SPEAKER_05 19:08

So I either need a bowl or I need a little little skimmer bowl. See, I'm the kind of dude that like if I if there's that much left, fuck it, I'm gonna use it all. Yeah, no, that's what I'm leaving. No, oh, there's still Pringles, there's two left in there, you know, like No.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

No, that's what I'm talking about, cereal. Where I'm I won't I won't pour out like I pour out a bowl and I like look at the rest and I'm like, no. So I have put enough for it. Where it's like mounting out of the bowl. So I have to deal with it. Because I don't because I don't want to come back to that bag and be like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_05 19:45

It's it's only this. It's a whisper of cereal. I still I get my cereal kicks, you know. Me too. Me too. Like I'll go for a while. Well now she's got uh wick, you know, the women, infants, children. So they're giving her like weird cereal that she won't eat, but I don't like it. Oh, you gotta get some kicks? You get cheese though on that shit. Cheese, dude. We got a fucking drawer full of cheese. You guys want some cheese? Keep getting the cheese.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

Oh fuck yeah. Well, bring that shit out. I gotta check it out. Okay, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 20:16

No, I want her to have her allotted amount of her cheese.

SPEAKER_05 20:21

Eat half of it. She don't eat nothing. Like, well, she eats like she eat nacho cheese and her.

SPEAKER_00 20:27

I love like like cheese sticks. And then like cheese.

SPEAKER_05 20:32

This is not the nutritional cheese you're talking about, dude.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

You are not giving anything that you get from Wick to anybody else other than you. She won't eat anything.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Well, I don't use a lot of it. No, she cooks.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

How are you not understanding what the fuck I'm saying?

SPEAKER_05 20:44

He wants you to be healthy and shit and eat. Hello, asshole.

SPEAKER_04 20:49

Well, we use it as the family. Oh, feed Caitlin. Feed Kate, yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

There you go. We make it when we use it for minerals. You're not giving it to Shiv Shavassier over here. No, no, no. Or meat giving this.

SPEAKER_05 21:04

I'm saying eat some right now.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

She is eating all of that stuff. Of course. That she's getting assistance on.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

Yes, she's using it all. Thank you for understanding what the fuck I was saying. You guys want some cheese?

SPEAKER_04 21:16

Look who just take five. We'll be right back. Well, you're right. You're right.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

You're right. We'll be right back with the humans race.

SPEAKER_05 21:28

No cheese for you. I'm the king of Rancho Chuchamonga. Welcome back to the show. We've calmed down.

SPEAKER_06 21:50

Make it pets.

SPEAKER_05 21:51

That was a long ass break. Not for you guys, but for us. Right back in it.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Back in it. Right back.

SPEAKER_05 22:00

We were never gone. Well, we were gone about five seconds. I played this song Pets. So I got this old army buddy that I haven't talked to in many years, but I see him on Facebook. Webster? No, we need to call him too, by the way. Yeah, we do. Does he still listen? I don't know what he does, man. Shout out to Webb. Web! So Spencer's over here like, what the fuck are we doing here? So what we doing here. So he put out this stupid post the other day, and I'm like, I like that. I even hit the like button. I like that. What's stupid about the post? And why do you like it? It's a great idea. And we're gonna fucking steal it. And we're gonna buy another domain. Okay. We already have bum feet. Okay. Um what is it? Uh OnlyFans thing. What is that? What side? I don't know. I think you have OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Do you know?

SPEAKER_05 23:00

OnlyFans or Fans Only, whatever it's called?

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I don't know. Do you know?

SPEAKER_05 23:03

No, I need to know the name. Whatever I can say.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Oh, you don't have an account?

SPEAKER_05 23:07

No, I don't. Oh, okay. I don't know what it is because I don't have a. What is it called? OnlyFans or Fans Only?

SPEAKER_00 23:12

OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_05 23:13

OnlyFans. Oh yeah. Okay. We call it OnlyPets. Oh. And you try to hook up fucking your dogs? Dogs. With some nice legs. Yeah. With some some hot ass bitches. You want to go meet it to fucking? Yeah. But it's like a it's so you only picture Dennis all sprawled out, you know, and be like play playdates for dogs.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

But it's not really for fucking, it's just like it should be only only pets for like people that want to breed their dogs.

SPEAKER_05 23:45

Yeah, well that too. That could be the next level. Yeah, you gotta pay, it's a pay scalp. Okay. Yeah, I was thinking about doing an only pets thing, and then I'm like, that's brilliant. Yeah, I picture Dennis's uh page like that Burt Reynolds fucking spread where he was like the dick hair all fucking flowing, put a fan on him, get a peen out, fucking hairs flowing, Fabio, yeah, and it's like you know, looking for a young bitch.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

That's Dennis's shit, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:10

No, who's into uh chewing bones and and belly scrubs or something, you know. I don't know peanut butter love, long peanut butter drink, but there's something there.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

It there's something there, dude. There's something there for the joke, but there's nothing there for the reality.

SPEAKER_05 24:28

No, no, like dude, I'm looking for a play date for my dog. I think he's got something. You go on you got something, and oh, they matched, they're both small dogs.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

I'm gonna pour salt in your Kool-Aid right now. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so it would be just lonely dudes trying to hook up with chicks that have dogs, just like everything. It's that's it's pretty much everything.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

But I money, man.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

All right. I that's fine, but I thought you were really trying to go for the dog aspect of it. Well, I was. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

Spencer brought up the fucking okay. Well, we just made you like but you changed my mind, Spence. Okay. No, me. Dickhead. No, I said it. He said he said he agreed. Why does he why does he get all the credit?

SPEAKER_03 25:13

I said I agreed with you.

SPEAKER_05 25:15

No, you said I was trying to do that, and I wasn't. But you know what? Why is this guy here? Fucking Spence. He he keeps stealing my ideas. Hey man. Hey man, let's still clearance's ideas. Yeah, he's like, he's like, that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

I'm just here to encourage the ideas.

SPEAKER_05 25:31

But I think it I think it's something. If Abe was here, we would have the domain right now.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

Oh, for the penny, yeah. He's got those sales and shit. He goes right online. Oh, I just bought it for a dollar.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

Well, I used to do that. Really? Through uh GoDaddy.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Oh, well then like charging. Danny Kimpatrick. Yeah. But that's when they first came out, they were like almost free and you didn't even know what they were selling.

SPEAKER_05 25:55

Yeah, now it's commercials and be like, what the fuck are they selling? You know? Yeah, domain. Domains. So let's look at it. What'd you call me? A domain. Alright. But also a pet. Dude, I've been trying to get this crow. He's been hanging around here. Well, there's about three of them. They come around back and they'll come out. They don't fuck with my trash can because I keep it locked down. But you'll see him in so I started. Keep your trash can locked down. I don't I don't have it like overflowing with the lids up. I got my trash on lock. He said it's thuggy and shit, dude. They're like, we don't fuck with Derek, we don't fuck with Derek's trash. Kate, did you hear him? Did you hear it? He's like, I keep my trash on lock. I didn't say on lockdown. I said I keep my trash locked down. It's like and then he and then he puffed out his chest a little bit. Pulled out my fucking popped a couple of claps in the air. But we got this fucking crow, dude. And I've been watching a lot of TikTok and shit lately, and this they show you how to make friends with a crow. And we've talked about this like a year ago. That's how you make friends with black people. Well you offer him, you offer him for you. I got some collygreens. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 27:11

The watermelon. Yeah. Bing bing bing. That's not racist.

SPEAKER_05 27:16

That's just true. Of course not. Of course. But uh but they teach you how to become friends with a crow, and they say if you become friends with a crow, yeah. And don't startle him, he's your friend. Walk off on them. Well the thing and say, I'm white, it's okay.

unknown 27:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 27:32

I'm harmless. Yeah. I didn't own you back in the day. Sorry. So I had to keep him here. He's over there on the fucking neighbor's trash can, dude. And and they say you want to like feed him. Um if you can so I sat up there with a fucking a potato chip and I tried to get him to come over. That's not happening. He's not coming over to eat your shit. So I'm I threw a few out and made a trail over. And I'm trying to lure him over. Okay. He did eat one of the chips and then flew away, but then you pulled out the milkshake.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

You're like, Here, here, have this milkshake.

SPEAKER_05 28:08

I said this was Kate's, but you can have it. Come over. So I'm really trying to make No fuck my daughter. I want to make friends with the fucking crow. He's slurping at her.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

He's over, he's over at Kate's window.

SPEAKER_05 28:30

Looking at her through the window.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

He's like, oh, the crow.

SPEAKER_04 28:34

Man. Do you like chocolate? He's got whipped cream all over his cake.

SPEAKER_05 28:41

So I've got the sucker to come halfway across the street now. And I think I'm making progress. And this isn't something no one sees. But maybe the neighbors watch me. Alright. Dude, I put my arm out like I'm a fucking hawkmaster and shit, dude. Like if he really flew on my arm, I'd freak out. What the fuck? Dude, I'm out there. I'm gonna make fun with this fucker. Alright. He's like game of things.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

I I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_05 29:07

That's a real thing, too.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

I I appreciate what you're doing. I but I don't.

SPEAKER_05 29:12

I shouldn't do that. No. It's not no, no, you should. Do that. Imagine if I had a fucking whole flock of crows just hanging out listening to our show and just sitting there talking to us. Yeah, we couldn't even talk. However, how much time do you have in your day? I got time. Yeah. Right now. I I'm confused by the time that you have in your day to do this.

SPEAKER_04 29:38

Well, I I don't know, but uh I work, I get off, I come home, I sell cars, I open my car, get up.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

No, you have too much time in your day to be friendly gross.

SPEAKER_05 29:52

What the fuck are you doing? Because I thought it'd be fun, dude. You have who else friends across? Do you know how many things that you've said to me? Like, you know what I think's gonna be awesome?

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Uh yeah, I'm gonna become a what do you do? I'm gonna I'm gonna become a what the fuck do you do? I'm gonna become an officer. I don't have enough, I don't have that time in my dude.

SPEAKER_05 30:10

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

Fuck, I know how much time you have. You have time to make friends with a crow, dude.

SPEAKER_05 30:15

No, I don't. You do too. That's too much time. Well, if you're by the time I get home, people are asking me for shit. That's why you get yourself a little bar garage out here and just shut every family. I come out of here and I'm like, hey, this is I I look distraught. The mad stream and I'm like, I'm walking in my cards. The mad scientisting. Get out of here. Did I even play black crows? I really did. I was playing fucking he's like, turn this shit off. Dude, I'm out here throwing potato chips. Dude, this is the black crows. You guys like this?

SPEAKER_01 30:55

He's like, he's like cranky as mega. Dude, it's black crows. Utilizer black crows.

SPEAKER_05 31:01

You would love this. This is the black crows.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

You got and then here's my here's my hand with a glove on it for a second. You have I have no glove. No, I picture you having like a like a like a washcloth glove. Like a like a rubber glove, like a dish glove. And you're like, I'm a falconer.

SPEAKER_05 31:18

That's right. Um, but I'm a crow. You know, honestly, when I did that, dude, he looked at me and I thought, he's like, dude, if he fucking flies over on my arm, I'm gonna totally freak your eyes.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

Crows are really smart, and he goes, You're retarded.

SPEAKER_05 31:32

And he's like, fucking asshole. He called the evil eyes.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

In his crow brain, he's like, This dude's retarded. Fuck.

SPEAKER_05 31:37

But he's like, he's got chips, you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yeah, but he but also, but also he didn't come to you, did he?

SPEAKER_05 31:43

Well, he took two steps. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm working it. All right, it's a slow play, but you don't just go up to a fucking wild animal with a milk chip.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Yeah, you don't you don't walk up to a black guy and be like, hey, I want to be friends. He's not a black guy.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

But I do.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

I mean, you don't just walk up to dudes in the hood and be like, hey, we should be friends, and then be like, I don't think.

SPEAKER_05 32:06

And then you start there. I go to my hood and I put my arm out. Calbatier? Yeah.

unknown 32:12

You go.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

You go up to Jaquellen and fucking Anthony.

SPEAKER_05 32:17

I'm in fucking watch with my arm out, the Falconer glove on. Come on over, crow. No. You got your wife's kitchen towel over your fucking arm.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

You gotta establish a routine by placing food in the same place at the same time.

SPEAKER_05 32:33

Every day. I've been working it. Okay. You wait, dude. We're gonna have a fucking crow hanging out here.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Eggs, unsalted peanuts, and pet kibble.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

All the shit she can't eat. So let's do oh yeah. All your wick shit.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

That we would not give to crows. Caitlin is eating all these things. Yeah, she's eating all of it. She's eating it all. Please don't stop Caitlin's wick.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

Yeah, please. But then if you started eating all that wick stuff, you know, you'd be like, oh, you crazy wicker.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

If you finally do get one of these African birds, African American birds.

SPEAKER_05 33:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

What? Uh his name has to be Anferny.

SPEAKER_05 33:22

Yeah, Carmangello or something.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

Lamangelo.

SPEAKER_05 33:25

Oh, just Lamont. Lamont.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Well, no, I already had Lamont.

SPEAKER_05 33:30

Yeah, you had Lamont, uh.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

Call him Creed. Apollo? I've been calling him. I don't want to say what I'm calling.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Anferny. Or Jaquiz. Come on. J-A-Q-U-I-Z-Z.

SPEAKER_05 33:45

It's Jaque. It's Jaquiz. That's how you pronounce it. Or something Sean. La Sean, Tyson, LaShawn, uh, Dushan. It's gotta have a Sean. Something Sean. Anything with Sean. Yeah. Taishan. Now, hey, all with these weird names that you're mentioning. Those aren't weird. No, no. Those aren't weird. Those are normal names. Okay. Stop being racist, Derek. Stop that. As far as names go, though, off the crow subject here. Caitlin's having a little girl. She went and up or whatever she did. Elsa. No, she went to uh the doctor, it is for sure a girl, right? Yeah. Okay. No. So we've been going through all these things. Not for sure. All right. And it could be a Torina boy name right now.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

It could be a Torina boy.

SPEAKER_05 34:35

Yeah. Same thing as Tiny Pecker. Lady Boy. Okay. Okay. So let's go. What are the names? Huge clit.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

Small. That's your granddaughter. That's great. Shouldn't care.

SPEAKER_05 34:50

She shouldn't care. It happened.

unknown 34:52

Huge clear.

SPEAKER_05 34:52

Gotta gotta keep her sense of humor going. Just like China. But we're thinking of names. What are the names? So what do you got for your list right now?

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Okay, my list I have Vera, Maxine, Arya, Andy, Olive, and Miller.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

No Miller, no Olive.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

I like Miller because Olive. No. I love Olive. I don't like Olive.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

I I What are you gonna call her?

SPEAKER_03 35:19

Ollie?

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Spence likes olive.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Olive is dope. And so is Maxine. I like Miller is a few.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

I was saying no Maxine for sure.

SPEAKER_05 35:27

What do you mean? Maxine is awesome. Fat, smelly customer of mine. No. What? And that's the thing, when you're naming a kid, you know you're like, oh fuck, not Gloria, man. It's chick stunk.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

That was when we were naming Fred. Like Naomi would go through this list, and she's like, How about Willows? Like, yeah, I know that girl. She has her own kiln and she her dress is made of wheat. Fuck that. Yeah. And then she's like, How about how about how about blah blah blah? And I'm like, Yeah, that chick was a bitch. I met her.

SPEAKER_05 35:55

That's absolutely true.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

I know, I know. And she's like, how's that? You want her to be a stripper? Alright, let's name her that. Cool. All right. You don't like cinnamon? Yeah, yeah. I'd had a friend named Dude Novea is the fucking worst name I've ever heard. That's heaven backwards. Yeah, that it's f dude. Hey, if you named your kid Novea, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna say it. You're a fucking moron, and that's fucking awful. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 36:23

The thing about naming Hello! Hello! The thing about naming a child is whatever. Who the fuck was that? Amazon's here.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Okay, bye.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

They're the nicest people ever. Look at this when she comes up. She's a nice way. She's so happy. She's cute. I see her. I can see her. She's just happy to do her job. So the thing's gonna be. Hey, take care. Bye-bye. Hey, what's your name? Bye, bring me back something French.

SPEAKER_05 36:53

The thing about what's your name? Well, I want to see. Maybe she had you got nothing. I don't think she heard me. She got airpods in. Oh yeah. But naming a kid, whatever you give them that name, they it's theirs.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Well, you also have to think of the the the well we got lots of things. Initials. Initials, yeah. Yeah. If it's if it spells fat, you know, like whatever. Or fart. Yeah, I know. Yeah. CNT. See, Freya was already fucked because her last name's Belle. My last name's Bell. He's like, oh fucking Liberty Bell and Taco Bell and all that. Isn't that bad? It's not, but it's still it creates a thing. So like if we named her, you know, whatever bell.

SPEAKER_05 37:33

But like Vinny, we were gonna name him Cooper, and he that was number one. That's ridiculous. And sorry. Then Caitlin and her friend came over and said, Cooper. They're just gonna call him Pooper Cooper. And it's like, okay, that's gone. Just gone. Oh stop it. Just like that. But I like Vera because that was gonna be Vinny's name. And we love Pink Floyd. Does anybody here remember the Vera Lynn? That was not bad. Vera. Vera? That's awful. Don't ever know. Anybody else? You know what I think of?

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Vera Wang.

SPEAKER_05 38:08

Okay. Well, oh yeah, you got Wang. Vera? Cool. Alright. But we're I got an ant Vera. Not we I know. I don't get to shoot. But the kids growing up aren't gonna know who Vera Wang. We're trying to do an older name, like you did with Freya or Vincent. Pterodactyl. No fucking pterodactyls, chicken wings and shit. But it's it starts with a P. What about names? Tell me names that are boy and girl names. What do you got? James. No, I never heard a chick named James. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Yeah, I have. Jamie King. James, James King. That's a good name.

SPEAKER_05 38:43

Her name's Jamie.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

Well, no, her name is James. I swear. Jamie is James.

SPEAKER_05 38:48

James is a good girl name, dude. That's a weird one. I think weird.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

See, and one on my list, Andy. I love Andy. Andy with the eye, or like Scotty. I think is cute.

SPEAKER_03 38:57

Wait, Andy short for anything or just straight Andy?

SPEAKER_01 39:01

I think Andy's are usually Andres.

SPEAKER_05 39:03

For a boy and a girl? Well, nowadays, yeah. It's like a slinky, dude. The whole fun for a boy or a girl. No. Alright. But Stevie, you got Tommy.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Yeah. Which was originally gonna be the original Tommy's?

SPEAKER_05 39:21

Well, that's even better.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

No, that's what I was gonna name my daughter if I ever had one. But then Well, guess what?

SPEAKER_05 39:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 39:29

Surprise!

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Hey, what just happened here?

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Just so you know, the stork we're going by. If I ever had the thing has venom in it, and there's a snake. And it bites the rabbit. It bites the rabbit, and then it creates.

SPEAKER_00 39:48

But I decided this before before I I had kids at all. And but because my grandma, her great grandma's name was Tommy Ruth. So she told me, she's like, that'd be a really good name for your daughter.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

For abroad, Tommy?

SPEAKER_00 40:02

It's awesome. And I love it.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

You just said for abroad, I like that. Oh for abroad for a lady.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

My son's dad name my son's dad's name is Tom or Tommy.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

So you need to just avoid that one.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

Wait, so that that just kills it off. Yeah. And it's a piece of shit. Fuck Tom.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

You can't do that because it's all you know, bitches.

SPEAKER_05 40:29

But what are you leaning at?

SPEAKER_00 40:32

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 40:33

You're going for a decision. Honestly, my Optimus Prime.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

My top area and Olive.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

No olive. Caitlin. Baby's born. Olive Olive's.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

I think Olive Olive.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Baby is born tomorrow. You have to have a name. You're going with your heart. What is it? Go.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Um, I probably wait until I see the baby. I feel like sometimes you could look and then be like, you look like a Yeah, if she's all a fucking weird green looking, you say, okay, it's an olive. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 41:06

You know. If Derek's thought would have named him, I would have been like, yuck.

SPEAKER_06 41:13

What?

SPEAKER_05 41:13

Nothing. If what? No, I didn't say that.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

If Derek's what? If they would have waited. Oh, to name me. Oh.

SPEAKER_05 41:21

That's funnier than I heard it. He's hurt. Hey, buddy. I wouldn't say that.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

You gotta see the how do you spell that? The pain. That's like extra R's.

SPEAKER_05 41:32

My dad used to tell me.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

Well, the oil Derek thing.

SPEAKER_05 41:36

No, my dad used to tell me like stupid jokes all the time.

SPEAKER_04 41:38

Like uh, well, he still does, but he'd tell me like Yeah, you know, you you get a job working out in front of the doctor's office making people sick, and you you know, all this shit.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

I I always heard I looked like the mailman. That's what I heard growing up.

SPEAKER_05 41:56

That's a big one. Yeah. But he did one with my name, you know, and oil Derek, yeah. Well, no, that was that I supposedly it's not true.

SPEAKER_01 42:03

I know well, we talked, we talked, we went through.

SPEAKER_05 42:06

I told the whole fucking story. I talked to my dad, he goes, That's not exactly true. Yeah, but also my mom told me that.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Your parents were high as fuck.

SPEAKER_05 42:14

Well, hi. No, they weren't my mom.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Oh. So your dad took advantage of your high ass mom. Okay, cool, dad.

SPEAKER_05 42:25

But no, my mom told me the story, and my dad said, That's not true. Okay. You actually got your name because I knew a dude named Derek, and I didn't know any other Derek's. So I thought Derek doesn't make any more special. The other way is more special. That's when he brought it up. Yeah, but that but he said he already had it planned out.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Yeah, but that doesn't make him more special.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

Well, I'm a Derek, man. You're a Derek. I'm a Derek. Definitely a Derek. How many Derrick do you know? You're like four?

SPEAKER_03 42:53

Uh none. You're the first motherfucking Derek I know, and you're definitely a Derek. I'm a Derek, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:59

Isn't it kind of weird to think your name?

SPEAKER_03 43:00

From now on, when I think of Derek, so I'm gonna think of this fucking guy. I'm a Derek. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna think of you.

SPEAKER_05 43:06

But you can change your name. I'm when I meet a Derek, I'm not gonna think of you. Really? Yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

Who would you think of first?

SPEAKER_05 43:14

I don't want to. Oh you don't want to? Wow. But you will. Probably. You will. See, Jeff, though, like I got so many Jeffs in my life. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

That's weird because I only met like ten.

SPEAKER_05 43:28

Really?

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Yeah. There's no quite a lot. In my life?

SPEAKER_03 43:32

Didn't you say you're bossing?

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Growing up, there was no Jeffs in the fucking in in my school. I was the only Jeff. There was John's, there was Roberts, there was fucking all.

SPEAKER_05 43:41

Like if I I've never I would think of you now, like in this time. No for sure, but I know a shitload of Jeffs. I would and G offs and is he the first Jeff you think of? No. No. No. Is he the first Jeff? There's no G offs. Now I said in this timeline, yeah. Jeff, I'd be like. Oh, that fucking happened. You have a heart attack and you're thinking of Jeff. Who is it? This guy. Oh, see, I got me. Uh, bosses. Well, you asked me the fucking question. I know, but what do you mean don't look at you? You asked me a question, I look at you. I was hoping to make it a moment, but fucking moment. Stefan here today. Oh, oh, wait. Spence is talking too much.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

Oh, shut up, Spence. Spence. Shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_05 44:23

You ask me a question, I look at you. Tell me, don't look at me.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

And he cut you off faster than I do.

SPEAKER_05 44:28

That's weird. No, it's not. It's that's how Spence rolls. Oh, Spence. Spence is fire from the hip. He's a fire from the pew guy. Pew pew.

unknown 44:37

Pew pew.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

So anyway, yeah. I hope that baby has a great name. Dude, you should name her.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

You should name her Jeff. Yeah, little baby Jeffrey.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

I was thinking that Stroke Free Wall, dude. This is probably gonna sound stupid to you guys, but I'm Yes. I was thinking of writing names on um.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

As soon as you say it, I'm gonna I'm gonna tear it apart because I guarantee it. Alright, go.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

So let's go. You know, names have meanings, tarot cards have meanings. I was thinking of lining up the tarot cards with the names and like what they represent, and then doing it like drawing.

SPEAKER_05 45:11

Why don't we do that live next week? Or next and and see, and that way we could say no on her name's gonna be Althea.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 45:20

Yeah, she'll come up with the colour. Are you guys in women's or what? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:24

She's like burning wood.

SPEAKER_05 45:25

What? Well, not an Indian. Oh. Well, that's a cowboy. Oh, dude. Like, what if cowboys had come Indians get like running water and but fucking dogs? Cowboys should be like burning wood.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

No fucking dog. You never heard that?

SPEAKER_05 45:42

Two dogs fucking.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:43

Yeah. Why do you ask two dogs fucking?

SPEAKER_01 45:46

All right.

SPEAKER_05 45:47

But why don't cowboys have the names if Indians had that? Cowboys should be like two dogs. Dusty Trail.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Please don't name your kid Dusty Trail. God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

Dusty should never be a name ever again.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

We're gonna keep you guys we should not be allowed to influence you on this.

SPEAKER_05 46:08

Oh, fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

That's what I'm saying. You have to have a name.

SPEAKER_05 46:11

I don't care what you guys say. I'm influencing Caitlin you guys if you want to. No, because I'll call her.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

You're no, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:18

I'll call her whatever I call anyway.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

I'm gonna call CPS on the game.

SPEAKER_05 46:21

You got good ideas. For what? Calling her fucking different name? Yeah. I'm gonna go in trouble. Yeah, you're yeah, you're gonna be like, yeah. Kid's name's Olive. He he won't call her olive. Olive's a great name. I like Olive. Call her fucking black olive.

SPEAKER_03 46:36

Wow. I can't reach the bell.

SPEAKER_05 46:38

Well, I don't like green olives.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Of course you don't.

SPEAKER_05 46:41

I hate green olives.

SPEAKER_00 46:42

I'm I'm not thinking the name Olive after like an olive. I just think it's a cute name.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

I'd sit there talking that thing like oil.

SPEAKER_06 46:51

You know, like Olive.

SPEAKER_05 46:54

Olive, man. You're like Oliver. You just because you like the name Olive.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

I am.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

No, Olive's a good name for kid. What do you call her? Ollie? Dude, yeah. You got some baby Ollie, dude? Come on. Ollie pop.

SPEAKER_03 47:05

You gotta sell Maxine. That's that's cute. It's cute.

SPEAKER_05 47:09

Well, they're a baby. Sell it. Let's let them finish. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 47:12

We're sorry, guys. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

We're the stars of this show. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:20

When we're done talking, you guys can talk. All right.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

Shut the fuck up, you two.

SPEAKER_05 47:23

Sorry, Kate. We'll talk to you when we Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:25

We're in the middle of something. I'm gonna get the stick right now. I'm gonna get the fucking reading. We're in the middle of talking. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Yelling across the table. Yeah, yeah. Caitlin, it's my phone.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Talking about naming your kid and shit. It's not important. Yeah. It's over here. Ron's talking about whatever the fuck he's talking about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:42

We're talking about Ollie. Olive. Call her Ollie. Ollie pop.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

That's cute.

SPEAKER_05 47:47

Yeah. As a baby.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

No, it's cute all the time. All the time. All all Olive is a good name for a kid. You like it? It's grown on me, but I do.

SPEAKER_05 47:57

Not because of you. If you say you don't like it, then I might consider. I like Olive.

unknown 48:03

Fuck.

SPEAKER_05 48:04

No, it's out. Okay, Jeff.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

How about this?

SPEAKER_05 48:07

No.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

I don't like olive. Olive's a great game. That's great. Great girl name. But the middle name is Oil. Middle name is.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Oil. I haven't even thought about anything. Olive what?

SPEAKER_01 48:19

Now her last name is T, so it's gonna be Tarina for real? Olive Olive Urida. Terrina. Out.

SPEAKER_04 48:31

You gotta make cool initials, you know?

SPEAKER_01 48:33

Oh you T. Okay. Yeah, but oh okay, Urine. Yeah. Urine.

SPEAKER_05 48:40

Oh, Urine.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

My my stepdad was a cop cop in Englewood, and he had to like go to Traviccourt for somebody that he wrote a ticket for. And they go, Yeah, could you state your name for the record? And she goes, That's Ureen. Spell it U-R-I-N-E. That's like Inglewood. Alright, there you go.

SPEAKER_05 49:05

Stop that. My old boss was a cop in Inglewood. And he goes, dude, these fucking Mexican dudes would come over and I'd ask him, let me see your license. And they go, What's your middle name? He'd be like, Noni.

SPEAKER_04 49:19

And they're like, That's good. And he's like, Well, I didn't have one, but they gave me one. You know? Fucking none, dude.

SPEAKER_05 49:28

Yeah. I'm Chavez. Jesus, None, Chavez, man. None. None. A lot of them think their middle name is None. No. Yeah, they got it. It's just what they got gave to them. Yeah, well, that's what their name is. Okay. So let's give her a good name and let's do this and let's rock it out. Um, nothing weird. Uh well, not today. I mean, you got time. Telly. Think of them and kind of write them down. Come up with something cool.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

No, no, no. I had it. Right now. Write it down. Telly. Savalis.

SPEAKER_05 50:00

Just write.

unknown 50:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

Why? Why do you think?

SPEAKER_05 50:06

Fuck up, man.

SPEAKER_03 50:07

What? No, nothing. Just move past. Just give him a high five. Five. Why? It ain't funny. Because Telly Savalas is bald. Trust me. We were trying to move past.

SPEAKER_05 50:19

Call her Annie. She knew it was funny. Call her Annie. Karina. I like it. No, because Annie, and then she could be Daddy Warbucks. That was dumb. Well, same thing. Bald now.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

Don't don't fall for this nonsense.

SPEAKER_05 50:35

So, hey, we're gonna wrap this up here. Yes, please. Um, I'm gonna go buy sandwiches. How long you got on this game?

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Is it like a five-minute or uh let's do it. Celebrity? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

Okay, we got a quick little five-minute game. Yeah. Wrap it up. This is March now.

SPEAKER_03 50:54

What?

SPEAKER_05 50:55

Break. Okay, we'll be right back. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 51:01

Fucking dick, dude. Hey, welcome back to the show, the D-Rise. Fucking Jeff. Guys, this guy is. In the D-Rise! Alright, hey, Kate, take it away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

Alright, so we got a celebrity birthday game. Um we're playing stupid. First one to three points wins.

SPEAKER_05 51:24

Okay. I win. Let's go. This game's dumb. So we're we're turning. Don't want to play. You're saying what age they're turning.

SPEAKER_00 51:32

What age they're turning this month in March.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

March.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

First one in this.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

Whatever age I say.

SPEAKER_05 51:37

Okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 51:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

All right, we got John Bon Jovi.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

It's Bon Jovi.

SPEAKER_05 51:59

I got my answer. Okay, I'm going with that.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Alright, everyone.

SPEAKER_05 52:09

What do you got? What do you got? Sixty-six. With maybe an extra. Ooh, that's evil.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Because he's the devil.

SPEAKER_05 52:18

And he's not age.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

He's not aging.

SPEAKER_05 52:20

Sixty-six on him. What'd you say?

SPEAKER_00 52:23

One? Come on, man.

SPEAKER_05 52:25

Oh, he went with he went with zero. That's not gonna win nothing. Alright. We don't have like a low dollar.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

This isn't the price is right.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

What the fuck are you doing? Can I be honest? I uh I totally got into writing this fucking stupid name down, and I didn't hear any of the rules of the game, and then she asked the question. Answer how old you think John Bon Jovi is.

SPEAKER_05 52:44

Alright, go back to go back to the colour. Alright, hold on. Let me write something.

SPEAKER_06 52:47

Said one.

SPEAKER_04 52:49

I think he's turning one dollar.

SPEAKER_05 52:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

I was close though. I put a number. Actually, that might be more up.

SPEAKER_05 52:56

And I got look 63. Look at me. Spence has 71.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

He's turning 64.

SPEAKER_05 53:02

Who's closer? Jeff. Oh no, me. Shit. Wait, what the fuck? I'm a one-off. I hit 63.

SPEAKER_04 53:11

What do you mean? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 53:13

Did you put six? I love how the fucking rules change. What what changed? I don't care. You said 66. I'm closer. I didn't go over.

SPEAKER_00 53:23

You're not closer.

SPEAKER_05 53:24

You're over and you're not closer. What are you talking about? He's 64. I pick 63. I'm in now. I got it. Dopey. I don't want to play anymore. Fucking learn the rules, Frank. Alright. You keep changing the rules, dickhead.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

You just changed the rules. I I was. Rules are the same job.

SPEAKER_05 53:43

Hey, pause. How are the rules changed? Because I say they changed. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 53:50

Okay, D bag got one.

SPEAKER_04 53:52

One for me.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

Next question. Jeff. Jeff got five. And okay, I'm just keeping I'm gonna keep my own.

SPEAKER_05 53:59

Alright, one zero. First one of three wins. Let's go. Oh, I got five.

SPEAKER_00 54:02

Alright, next we got Lady Gaga.

SPEAKER_05 54:04

Oh, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga is. Fuck, I don't know. I'm gonna want I might be high on this. Ooh, okay, what do you got? I got oh shit. Jeff has 43. I have 44, and Ron has 45.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

She's turning 40.

SPEAKER_05 54:35

That's Jeff.

SPEAKER_01 54:36

Yeah, I knew she was. I I finally got one. How did you not get it?

SPEAKER_05 54:40

Well, actually, how did you not get it? Actually, I get that point.

SPEAKER_01 54:43

It's the running man.

SPEAKER_05 54:44

Because I'm changing rules.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Because I said so. How does Derek get this point? That's what I want to know.

SPEAKER_03 54:48

Jeff's always playing the running man. When he plays a game, it's always the running man.

SPEAKER_04 54:52

And then he wins. He's like, oh, I knew it at all time. Alright, one to one. Let's go. Fucking tool, dude.

SPEAKER_01 55:03

All right, this is how we play this game. This is this is my favorite part.

SPEAKER_00 55:07

Next up we got Vince Vaughn.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

Oh, I don't think he finished it.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

Love this music, dude.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

Alright, everyone. Got it? So whatever.

SPEAKER_05 55:30

So I I got 58. Jeff has 59. And Spence over here has 51.

SPEAKER_00 55:36

He's turning 56. Fuck! Who's close?

SPEAKER_05 55:40

Boom. 58 right here.

SPEAKER_06 55:42

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 55:45

I would say it was Spence. Son of Jarrell. No. I said 51. He didn't go over. We fucking went over the rules. I got you. Go ahead. That's all you. Okay, man.

SPEAKER_01 55:58

Why? Why is this super I don't know why so hard for superhero man plays playing right now? Too, by the way.

SPEAKER_05 56:06

I don't know, man. It's just shitting about.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

Jeff and Spence and D-Rock.

SPEAKER_04 56:10

Let's go.

SPEAKER_05 56:11

We're gonna ultimate battle royale right now. You need this one to stay alive?

SPEAKER_01 56:17

Alright, next one we Kurt Russell.

SPEAKER_03 56:21

I like it.

SPEAKER_01 56:21

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

A fladiator. Oh, Kurt Russell.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

What do you what did you think?

SPEAKER_03 56:27

Sorry, I was thinking of I was thinking of Russell Crowe.

SPEAKER_05 56:31

Russell Crowe. Oh, Kurt Russell. Oh fuck yeah, Goonies.

SPEAKER_03 56:35

Kurt Russell, he's old as fuck.

SPEAKER_05 56:38

I just thought we were throwing out random movies. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 56:45

Shit. It's like we're in an HBO episode of like uh what's that show with Brian Cox? No. Like industry and shit.

SPEAKER_01 56:54

Okay. I don't like it, but I'm going with it.

SPEAKER_05 56:57

Let's do it. I'm in. Okay. I got 76. Jeffy's got 79. And Ronnie was 71.

SPEAKER_00 57:07

He's earning 75. Fuck!

SPEAKER_05 57:10

Alright here, baby. Did I lose? That's me. Did you lose? I get your dick kicked out. Dude, I just get I got extra.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

Yes, you have extra.

SPEAKER_05 57:21

I got extra bling coming.

SPEAKER_01 57:23

My way, baby. Oh. Can my bling get done before yours does? Second place doesn't get bling. Well, yeah, you. No, that's not true. You know what's gonna happen? Yours are gonna be so fucking heavy you can't pick it up anymore. Damn, I got six and then I I have one, two, three, four, five, smash.

SPEAKER_05 57:41

Seven, eight, nine.

SPEAKER_00 57:42

Keep complaining, I won't do any more Jeff.

SPEAKER_05 57:44

Go fucking bling your own shit out. I have twenty. Hey, I just want to give it up for the champions, Eric.

SPEAKER_01 57:49

Plus twenty. I have I have twenty little bedazzles on mine. How many do you have on yours?

SPEAKER_05 57:57

212. Hey, maybe next time. We'll teach you up, man.

SPEAKER_01 58:03

Yeah. No, no, no. Watch. Watch. I'll erase the whole thing. I have plus 20.

SPEAKER_05 58:09

There you go. Give them more. Guys, thanks for hanging. We're the humans racing.

SPEAKER_01 58:14

You know what's gonna be gonna go because we're out of control. Wait, yeah, we're out of control. She's gonna go. She's gonna do one more. Plus one.

SPEAKER_05 58:21

That's what I call. I call this. Even at the bottom, we're good. Guys, thanks, Jeff, for hanging. Bye. Spencer. Oh Spencey. Get on our Facebook page. Tell us what kind of names you want for all of our little. I'm down with olive. Well, we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 58:41

Or or or pimento. Oh, dude. Pimento, olive.

SPEAKER_05 58:46

Shirley. Temple. Temple.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

Shirley's good. Shirley's.

SPEAKER_05 58:53

That's a bad thing. Shirley Torina? Yeah, Shirley.

SPEAKER_01 58:57

Shirley Torina. I picture her waving your finger her finger at you. Fucking my grandpa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shirley Torina's like, you know what, motherfucker?

SPEAKER_05 59:06

That's like a 1950. Shirley Bird, dude. And a fucking bird. A crow lands on her finger. Oh my god, dude. It all comes back.